“so if you could go ahead and try to remember to do that from now on, that’d be great.”

July 24th, 2008 · 231 comments

writes our anonymous submitter from canada: “i got back to my desk after lunch on a friday and found this heartfelt note on my keyboard. i was touched.”

adds our submitter: “i worked my ass off on that damn report!”

This post is favorited by 0 users

FILED UNDER: canada · office · smiley · thanks (but not really) · tps reports

'You Have Died of Dysentery' Hoodie Sweatshirt

231 responses so far ↓

#1 zombieBlanco

At least there weren’t alot of mistakes.

Jul 24, 2008 at 12:13 am rating: +25

reply to this comment
- #1.1 Joe
  
  At least the report didn’t have Oh-no!-I’m-running-out-of-room-at-the-end-of-the-line,-time-to-write-really-small mistakes.
  
  Team Observe the Margins!
  
  Jul 24, 2008 at 9:37 am rating: +10
- #1.2 Fla Boy
  
  I’ll go for Susan (her note sounds like a Susan I once knew). If she is going to correct errors and strive for perfection, how about changing the last sentence to “all OF those mistakes?”
  
  Jul 24, 2008 at 11:17 am rating: +1
- #1.3 Canthz_B
  
  “All the king’s horses and all the king’s men
  Couldn’t put Humpty together again.”
  
  Jul 24, 2008 at 2:24 pm rating: 0
- #1.4 ama
  
  “If you were to construct a perfect egg-crushing device it would be horses’ hooves!” - Ricky Gervais
  
  Jul 24, 2008 at 2:36 pm rating: +3
add to this thread
#2 Ashley

Maybe she should write better reports? Or should the writer be thanking her for the OT she brought home?

Either way, I love the smiley face

Jul 24, 2008 at 12:15 am rating: +1

reply to this comment
#3 Canthz_B

Thanks for the wishes for a great weekend and for taking my mistakes off of my mind. What a relief to only have to stress over the mistakes in your note to me!

Jul 24, 2008 at 12:19 am rating: +15

reply to this comment
#4 Canthz_B

adds our submitter: “i worked my ass off on that damn report!”

Maybe the coworker would prefer the submitter to work with her brain next time.
I sounds like the boss got the report, said “Oh dear God! Shannon, can you please redo this for Bunney? She’d just screw it up again and I need it before the weekend.”

Jul 24, 2008 at 12:26 am rating: +17

reply to this comment
- #4.1 zombieBlanco
  
  Oh dear God! Is this an office note?
  The smiley and vomit-inducing curley handwriting makes it look like a note between dorm-mates.
  
  Jul 24, 2008 at 12:29 am rating: +25
- #4.2 James
  
  Shannon? … hmm, good call. I assumed “Sarah”.
  
  Jul 24, 2008 at 9:31 am rating: +1
- #4.3 ama
  
  Satan.
  
  Jul 24, 2008 at 9:44 am rating: +22
- #4.4 karla
  
  Me too James, though Satan does have a nice ring to it!
  
  Jul 24, 2008 at 11:48 am rating: +1
- #4.5 Liz
  
  Totally agree. Perhaps the anonymous submitter should do her work next time so her co-workers don’t have to pick up her slack.
  
  Jul 24, 2008 at 3:30 pm rating: +2
- #4.6 Canthz_B
  
  Well, you can’t be the brightest bulb in the box if you submit a note which accuses you of incompetence.
  
  Jul 24, 2008 at 10:14 pm rating: +5
add to this thread
#5 Joyful

Dear Blanked Out Name,

Thanks for your kind note, written exclusively in second-grade-style bubble letters. Your handwriting is not annoying at all, and you should definitely not think about learning to write like a grown-up.

Thanks again (and again *not* annoying at all),

Other Blanked Out Name

Jul 24, 2008 at 12:29 am rating: +48

reply to this comment
- #5.1 Timo
  
  Blanked Out Name,
  So does that mean you are not going to make it to the Sigma Phi Summer soiree’ ? Too bad because then Tad Hamilton is all mine! Suck it loser.
  
  xoxoxo
  Other Blanked Out Name.
  
  Jul 24, 2008 at 9:08 am rating: +9
- #5.2 Joe
  
  bubble letters
  
  I don’t think that means what you think it means.
  
  Jul 24, 2008 at 9:21 am rating: +4
- #5.3 Mishee
  
  I think Joe is right.
  
  Jul 24, 2008 at 9:59 am rating: +2
- #5.4 Missy
  
  You guys have such dirty minds…. what could it possibly mean
  
  Jul 24, 2008 at 12:21 pm rating: +2
- #5.5 tomservo
  
  Hey…how did you know he/she/it was called Blanked Out Name! Thank Oprah his/her/it’s parents have the foresight to pick that name - just how frustrating is it when other people censor your very being? This way, no matter what your/your/your name will still go down in history!
  
  Jul 24, 2008 at 1:26 pm rating: +1
- #5.6 Mishee
  
  Missy, I’m not speaking for Joe, but I didn’t have anything dirty in mind… bubble letters are like what the taggers use when they do graffiti..
  
  This is just… round-ish, childlike handwriting… (otherwise known as the handwriting I had when I was in 7th grade)…
  
  Jul 24, 2008 at 1:30 pm rating: +1
- #5.7 Joe
  
  Right. Nothing dirty going on. What on earth did you think we meant?
  
  Jul 24, 2008 at 1:35 pm rating: +2
- #5.8 Mishee
  
  Bubble Letters:
  http://www.wikihow.com/Image:Bubble_letters0007.JPG
  
  Serial Killer Handwriting:
  http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/2008/07/24/so-if-you-could-go-ahead-and-try-to-remember-to-do-that-from-now-on-thatd-be-great/
  
  Jul 24, 2008 at 1:44 pm rating: +2
- #5.9 Canthz_B
  
  Missy wouldn’t make her bubble letters if she swallowed.
  
  Jul 24, 2008 at 2:29 pm rating: +2
- #5.10 High School Teacher
  
  Seriously, as a teacher, this is how my struggling students’ penmanship looks! I’m shocked she was able to find errors in the report!
  
  Jul 24, 2008 at 2:44 pm rating: +6
- #5.11 Joyful
  
  Just to clear things up; I didn’t mean bubble letters as a name of the type of letters, but rather as a descriptor or how the letters are bubble-like. For example; “My, those letters are quite bubbly!”.
  
  Jul 24, 2008 at 8:49 pm rating: +2
- #5.12 ama
  
  …..have you been drinking alphabet champagne?
  
  Jul 24, 2008 at 8:58 pm rating: +3
- #5.13 Mishee
  
  “i get the tinglees in a silly place”
  
  Jul 24, 2008 at 9:00 pm rating: +4
add to this thread
#6 Kristin

You’re welcome. Glad I could get it started for you at least.

I’m glad you had a good time with it. I hope you enjoy my next report as much.

I did have a great weekend, thanks for the well wishes. No worries!

Jul 24, 2008 at 12:34 am rating: +14

reply to this comment
#7 Canthz_B

I wish the writer would make up her mind which style of lowercase ‘a’ she’d like to use and stick with it throughout her note.

Jul 24, 2008 at 12:36 am rating: +8

reply to this comment
- #7.1 zombieBlanco
  
  Capital I or lowercase l ? Only context can tell!
  
  Jul 24, 2008 at 12:41 am rating: +2
- #7.2 Amy
  
  See, she’s in the process of cutifying her handwriting, ever since her friend Cyndi (heart over the i) advised her on how to impress the boss. She’s got most of the principles down–leave sarcastic PANs instead of talking to your colleagues, write on wide-ruled notebook paper instead of something professional, fill up each line with the huge rounded letters you used in 4th grade, don’t capitalize those silly beginnings of sentences, don’t use a single underlining or exclamation point when a double or triple one will do, and always use smileys–but the “make all your a’s super-cute!!!” advice hasn’t quite taken yet.
  
  Jul 24, 2008 at 7:01 am rating: +22
- #7.3 name
  
  “make all your a’s super-cute!!!”
  
  She uses two different types of a’s… the a’s that look like flipped e’s, and the a’s that look like q’s with a shorter leg. She’s so confused…
  
  Jul 24, 2008 at 11:09 am rating: +1
- #7.4 ama
  
  #7.2! i take offense to that! Cindys have many admirable qualities, cuteness just happens to be the main one, often, sadly…
  
  -CUTIE (Cindys United To Isolate Elite-namism)
  
  Jul 24, 2008 at 8:56 pm rating: +3
add to this thread
#8 Canthz_B

What office still uses notebook paper, and what could such an office possibly have to report on?

Jul 24, 2008 at 12:42 am rating: +8

reply to this comment
- #8.1 Mark
  
  Actually, I don’t see any reference to an office. Methinks it’s one of those dreaded Book Reports, possibly on Are You There God? It’s Me, Margaret. Or maybe, The Pet Goat.
  
  Jul 24, 2008 at 12:46 am rating: +33
- #8.2 Canthz_B
  
  My 1st thought was school, but then I saw the keyboard and my age betrayed me.
  We didn’t have those in school in the Stone Age!
  
  Jul 24, 2008 at 1:02 am rating: 0
- #8.3 amazon
  
  I still say office. It says s/he got it after lunch on his/her desk. Do schools have assigned desks *with* desktop computers on them?
  
  Jul 24, 2008 at 2:04 am rating: +1
- #8.4 Timo
  
  “Here is my report on Nancy Drew and the massaging showerhead.”
  
  Jul 24, 2008 at 9:16 am rating: +12
- #8.5 tomservo
  
  Amazon - no…you get the desktop, but have to pay for the legs and fixings yourself. Cutbacks, y’see…
  
  Jul 24, 2008 at 1:28 pm rating: 0
- #8.6 Mel
  
  our office still uses notebooks for some reason. i find it funny too. i have yet to turn in a hand-written report, but am looking forward to it.
  
  Jul 24, 2008 at 2:11 pm rating: +1
- #8.7 Claire
  
  Yes, this reeks sadly of a school project gone hideously wrong. The extra whirls and flourishing curls…multiple end punctuation marks…first letters in sentences in lower-case…is this a team partner even worthy to correct errors, much less locate them…in ANY project? This is a co-worker…or project partner…who seems terrifying close to the edge of having a complete and total hissy shit fit in public…please move away from her cubicle…move away from the cubicle…
  
  Jul 24, 2008 at 8:08 pm rating: +3
add to this thread
#9 Troy McClure

Just the chorus:

“The TPS report is lousy,” you remark,
And your sweet/mean writing makes me frown.
“Someone put mistakes in,” you complain.
I don’t think that I can take it,
‘Cause it took so long to make it,
And I’ll never have my ass on me again
Oh no!

Jul 24, 2008 at 12:54 am rating: +7

reply to this comment
- #9.1 Timo
  
  “Whoa nooooooo”
  Sorry Troy I had to sing that in my best lounge singer voice.
  
  Jul 24, 2008 at 9:18 am rating: +3
add to this thread
#10 Grade Ape

As painfully annoying as this steaming pile of sugar coated shit is… I’ve got to give the author (Sarah?) much credit for signing her name.

It almost says, “… and if you want to discuss this further you can meet me in the parking lot.”

Jul 24, 2008 at 1:01 am rating: +22

reply to this comment
- #10.1 snee
  
  Dear Sarah, (”sarah” works for me. might also be “sharon”.)
  
  I would be happy to meet you out in the parking lot to discuss this further, but I’m off to have a great weekend!
  
  Miles of smiles,
  Sandy (i’m going with “sandy” for the submitter.)
  
  Jul 24, 2008 at 2:53 am rating: +9
- #10.2 Grade Ape
  
  Ha Ha Ha… or,
  
  Dear Sarah,
  
  Sorry I didn’t see your note on Friday. I kicked my weekend off a little early. I started drinking during my lunch hour… stayed until happy hour, and then stayed late until after hours!!! It was tons of fun!!! Seeing as I worked my ass of all week I felt that I deserved it. Thanks for your well wishes, it WAS a great weekend!!!
  
  =) Sandy
  
  Jul 24, 2008 at 10:23 am rating: +7
add to this thread
#11 Robin

Your mistake fixing favors make me want to continue to try my best to make mistakes on those reports with you ( a lot.)

Jul 24, 2008 at 1:02 am rating: +10

reply to this comment
#12 aaa

Why can’t Mrs. McSuger-Coated-Shit just write her own reports? Oh wait, then there’d be no scapegoat for when she gets bitched at by the boss man (professor?).

Jul 24, 2008 at 1:09 am rating: +7

reply to this comment
#13 Canthz_B

Nevermind.

Jul 24, 2008 at 1:10 am rating: 0

reply to this comment
#14 milhouse

Oh, I guess there weren’t enough smiley faces!!!
=) =) =)

Jul 24, 2008 at 1:25 am rating: +1

reply to this comment
#15 globalnole

Extra points for sure for using a smiley face as her signature line. However, in this situation, a PA email may have been more appropriate. Oh well.

Jul 24, 2008 at 1:38 am rating: 0

reply to this comment
#16 zombieBlanco

Because of you.
chorus only

Because of you
I had to fix, fix almost everything
Because of you
Thanks for all your hard work this week on the damn report
Because of you
I find mistakes a lot everywhere, but it was tons of fun
Because of you
I did stay late

Jul 24, 2008 at 1:53 am rating: +9

reply to this comment
- #16.1 amazon
  
  So totally off topic (but this comment made me think of it), I had a friend who thought the line “What happened to Miss Independence” said “what happened to my cinnamon bun.” Now every time I hear that song, I can’t help but hear “my cinnamon bun.”
  
  True story.
  
  Jul 24, 2008 at 2:08 am rating: +5
- #16.2 snee
  
  mmmm, cinnamon buns!
  
  Jul 24, 2008 at 2:55 am rating: +3
- #16.3 Timo
  
  Okay along those lines in the Soul Coughing song “Super Bon Bon” I thought it sounded like Cinni Bon Bon.
  
  Jul 24, 2008 at 9:23 am rating: +2
- #16.4 karla
  
  *I* thought Shaft was a carpet cleaning man. Who knew?
  
  Jul 24, 2008 at 11:53 am rating: +4
- #16.5 Timo
  
  Wellll… hmmm to delicately put it in a way Shaft is a carpet cleaning man. He is one bad mutha *hush your mouth!* Hey just talkin’ about Shaft.
  
  Jul 24, 2008 at 12:25 pm rating: +8
add to this thread
#17 Jais

You know, Anonymous Submitter, you really need to go and talk to S—- and find out what was wrong with the report. It’s important for your future professional development to know whether the report really was full of mistakes or whether S—- is a cranky perfectionist.

After all, you don’t want to work your ass off if all you end up producing is a pile of crap.

Jul 24, 2008 at 2:36 am rating: +17

reply to this comment
- #17.1 snee
  
  still, if you do work your ass off and produce piles of crap, remember to flush several times…with the lid down.
  
  Jul 24, 2008 at 2:59 am rating: +50
add to this thread
#18 Ambie

Like OMG ! You are an inadequate loser and I hate you but these antidepressants just make me so darn cheerful!

Hugs and Kisses!

Jul 24, 2008 at 2:44 am rating: +27

reply to this comment
- #18.1 G

painfully polite and hilariously hostile writings from shared spaces the world over

“so if you could go ahead and try to remember to do that from now on, that’d be great.”

July 24th, 2008 · 231 comments

231 responses so far ↓