the powerseller of pompano beach

July 27th, 2008 · 310 comments

if you’ve ever tut-tutted over the consequences of big-box stores and online retailers overtaking small businesses, you’ll be heartened to hear that some folks have figured out how to bring those old-fashioned mom-n-pop ideas about customer service into the digital age…with the help of a big ol’ corporation called ebay!

while browsing the auction site for some new shades, my pal josh stumbled across one such example — a listing from a florida-based ebayer who goes by the name of whiteblizzard70.

the power seller of pompano beach

this goes on for several more paragraphs (see for yourself), but i’ll skip to my favorite part — the postscript.

the power seller of pompano beach

(josh decided not to bid.)

related: top five musical crimes perpetrated by record store customers
extra credit: how do you get out of an ebay auction? [consumerist.com]

P.S. this post reminded me of another note my friend josh told me about a few months back — a piece of reader mail he’d received as an editor at the music mag blender. granted, most readers who take the time to write in to magazines like blender are at least a little bit…off, to say the least. but the last part of this letter — a response to an “ask blender” column about the urban legend that debbie harry of blondie was once abducted by ted bundy — is genuinely spine-chilling. (passive-aggressive? not so much. creepy? um, yes.)


  • StumbleUpon
  • Fark
  • Digg
  • Reddit
  • del.icio.us
  • TwitThis
  • Facebook
EMAIL THIS POST TO A PAL! EMAIL THIS POST TO A PAL!

FILED UNDER: "customer service" · CAPS LOCK · Pompano Beach · ebay · florida · more aggressive than passive · university

310 responses so far ↓

  • #1  mamacita

    Gah — I can’t read the Debbie Harry note. Transcription, please? (Pretty please with a cherry on top.)

    Jul 27, 2008 at 12:55 am   rating: +2  

    • #1.1  Resident Grammarian esq

      if you lack the ability to click on a picture, or cannot understand horribly illegible writing, please do not bid on my items.

      Jul 27, 2008 at 10:17 am   rating: +9  

       
    • #1.2  Claire

      Aaaaamen! What the hell is this guy selling? I have always noticed that the longer and more P/A the one-way contract is on an E-Bay item, is in direct proportional relationship to the crappier the auctioned item turns out to be.

      Jul 27, 2008 at 11:59 am   rating: +1  

       
    • #1.3  WHITEBLIZZARD70

      then don’t bid on it ! Duhhhhh

      Jul 27, 2008 at 7:32 pm   rating: +3  

       
    • #1.4  Crash

      DUDE !!!
      You’re like the Soup Nazi on Seinfield…only for e-bay…”NO E-BAY FOR YOU !!!”

      Jul 27, 2008 at 8:10 pm   rating: +18  

       
    • #1.5  Claire

      Eeeaasy, WhiteBlizzard70! There have been some good deals made through E-Bay for both seller and buyer alike. And you know darned well that there have been great disappointments in other instances for both sides. I regret bidding on a collection of edible panties that the seller had assured everyone said items had never been taken out of the package. But I learned a valuable lesson from this: Never mix meds and alcohol and then bid on e-bay…’nuff said!

      Jul 27, 2008 at 8:29 pm   rating: +11  

       
    • #1.6  Canthz_B

      Nothing worse than eating left-overs!

      Did they at least come in a doggie-style bag? ;-)

      Jul 28, 2008 at 1:44 am   rating: +9  

       
    • #1.7  Claire

      Worse, CB…they were tucked up in a year old edition of some small town Nevade newspaper…an educational experience for me this delving into the darker side of human sexuality. I dropped the whole thing in the trash, hauled out to the Dumpster (removing any traces of my name and address from the packaging), and have since tried very hard to forget…

      Now I just mix meds, alcohol, and PAN! Yeehaw!

      Jul 28, 2008 at 8:43 pm   rating: +1  

       
     
  • #2  TuesdayPillow

    Yeah I am having a hard time. I think he has the word “cunting” in there but I’m not sure.

    p.s. love the ebay note. I would buy from that dude in a second.

    Jul 27, 2008 at 1:19 am   rating: +2  

    • #2.1  se

      He says “people writing me”. click on the picture to enlarge.

      Jul 27, 2008 at 1:47 am   rating: 0  

       
    • #2.2  Tuesday

      Unfortunately when I do that my browser goes screwy and all the columns on the side get in the way of the note. Oh, well. I think I can extract enough from the comments to get by.

      Jul 28, 2008 at 3:58 am   rating: 0  

       
    • #2.3  Kate

      I want to be this guy’s best friend. I would buy from him too, TP.

      Jul 29, 2008 at 11:37 am   rating: 0  

       
     
  • #3  Canthz_B

    Whiteblizzard70 is he Anti-Burger King!

    Have it my way or not at all, you inbred nincompoops! I’m here to make money, not a good impression!

    Jul 27, 2008 at 1:48 am   rating: +6  

     
  • #4  Rulial

    Keith Jesperson is a serial killer known for sending notes to the media signed with happy faces.

    http://blog.oregonlive.com/breakingnews/2007/07/28/

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Keith_Hunter_Jesperson

    Jul 27, 2008 at 1:53 am   rating: 0  

     
  • #5  brad

    That’s some awesome customer service. Would love to see someone take him (and everyone else doing it) to task for somehow thinking that they aren’t responsible for items that never get to the customer’s door.

    Jul 27, 2008 at 1:56 am   rating: +2  

    • #5.1  amazon

      Actually, I could get all legal, and explain how sellers aren’t responsible, depending on the type of contract, but I need to save all my legal wisdom for the bar.

      Jul 27, 2008 at 2:38 am   rating: +1  

       
    • #5.2  Canthz_B

      I need to save all my money for the bar. (hic ° ° )

      Jul 27, 2008 at 4:32 am   rating: +22  

       
    • #5.3  Claire

      Makes me want to bid on an E-Bay bar…..

      Jul 27, 2008 at 12:00 pm   rating: +1  

       
     
  • #6  Canthz_B

    Good to know that serial killers keep an accurate accounting of who was in their car and who was not…I guess.
    But do they really have the right to get pissed if someone asks, “Did you give me a ride once and not kill me? Why was I not worthy?” :???:

    Jul 27, 2008 at 2:01 am   rating: +4  

    • #6.1  Claire

      Perhaps the lucky victims saw the interior of the car decorated with handmade smiley faces and refused to get into the car.

      Gasp! Even better–a serial killer who is overpowered by his potential victims and can’t lure ANYONE into his creepy car!

      Would this then make him a serial approacher instead?

      Jul 27, 2008 at 12:05 pm   rating: +1  

       
     
  • #7  Canthz_B

    Ted Bundy broke Debbie Harry’s Heart of Glass! :cry:

    Jul 27, 2008 at 2:04 am   rating: +1  

     
  • #8  Canthz_B

    Whiteblizzard70, Dude you have a 98.4% positive rating! WTF is there to bitch about besides running out of your meds?

    Jul 27, 2008 at 2:12 am   rating: +4  

    • #8.1  snee

      the meds didn’t come on time; he ordered them on ebay.

      Jul 27, 2008 at 3:14 am   rating: +26  

       
    • #8.2  Timo

      Is this guy Hank Hill’s Dad?

      Jul 27, 2008 at 3:27 pm   rating: +8  

       
    • #8.3  WHITEBLIZZARD70

      My description was made this way after some Ohio scum gave me negative because USPS took more than 14 days to deliver his f…….g trombone. Like he paid for the faster shipping service.
      If you are not a seller, you’ll never know what is lurking out there.
      So ZIP IT, all ya smart a$$es out there.

      Jul 27, 2008 at 7:39 pm   rating: +4  

       
    • #8.4  Canthz_B

      Oh. I see. One scum in Ohio sent you into this tirade.
      I don’t have to be a seller to see that you’ve over-reacted just a smidge here, $port! ;-)

      Jul 27, 2008 at 7:51 pm   rating: +7  

       
    • #8.5  Crash

      So…
      Le’me get this straight, you wrote this note for everyone to see and didn’t expect smart a$$ comments somewhere… :?
      You might want to step away from your computer a little bit and see the really real world.
      There’s a lot of smart a$$es out there and this telling us to “ZIP IT” buisness isn’t going to stop us from being smart a$$es either,
      If you don’t like what you read here then there’s an X at the top of your screen…click on it dude.

      Jul 27, 2008 at 7:51 pm   rating: +24  

       
    • #8.6  Timo

      Well maybe it was a rusty trombone.

      Jul 27, 2008 at 8:15 pm   rating: +12  

       
    • #8.7  Canthz_B

      I’d be willing to wait at least a month for a trombone that could fuck! :-P

      Jul 27, 2008 at 8:20 pm   rating: +9  

       
    • #8.8  Timo

      I think the guy in Ohio goes by the Ebay name Cleveland_Steamer.

      Jul 27, 2008 at 8:30 pm   rating: +14  

       
    • #8.9  Claire

      Oooh, CB! I would definetely bid on THAT priceless treasure–LMAO!! A f**king trombone…!!!!

      Jul 27, 2008 at 8:32 pm   rating: +3  

       
    • #8.10  Mishee

      Damn Timo - you beat me to BOTH of the jokes I wanted to say!!

      GMTA

      Jul 28, 2008 at 9:07 am   rating: +2  

       
    • #8.11  Timo

      Sorry great minds and all that. :wink:

      Jul 28, 2008 at 9:14 am   rating: 0  

       
    • #8.12  Canthz_B

      So “kiss my ass” has finally been taken literally and kicked up a notch. BAM!!

      Jul 28, 2008 at 6:34 pm   rating: +1  

       
    • #8.13  Mishee

      ahhh!! so you DID google it CB! I knew your inquiring mind wanted to know!

      Jul 28, 2008 at 6:48 pm   rating: +1  

       
    • #8.14  Canthz_B

      I only come here to learn from the learned, Mishee. ;-)

      Jul 28, 2008 at 6:51 pm   rating: +1  

       
     
  • #9  zombieBlanco

    If you have anger management problems, patience deficiencies, problems with common sense, reading skills problems, high lead or mercury levels & other mental or unresolved personal problems that may negatively impact your demeanor and conduct on this site, Welcome to PAN!

    Jul 27, 2008 at 2:15 am   rating: +37  

    • #9.1  bellabeastie

      You forgot to mention hangnails, dandruff, warts, hemmorroids, scabies and athlete’s foot… silly ;)

      Jul 27, 2008 at 9:12 am   rating: +3  

       
    • #9.2  AuntyBron

      ,,,and the heartbreak of psoriasis.

      Jul 27, 2008 at 9:26 am   rating: +6  

       
    • #9.3  Grade Ape

      not to mention being coated from head to toe in ecoli and fecal coliforms…

      Jul 27, 2008 at 12:08 pm   rating: +6  

       
    • #9.4  Timo

      What about OCD, Kleptomania and Stockholm Syndrome?

      Jul 27, 2008 at 3:31 pm   rating: +4  

       
    • #9.5  anglophile

      I just have low self-esteem and difficulty making friends in real life.

      Jul 27, 2008 at 7:23 pm   rating: +13  

       
    • #9.6  Claire

      I get nervous in real social situations…and sometimes walk along my street, swiping the neighbors’ doormats and replacing them with ones of less sentimental value.

      Then I put the others up for sale on e-bay…ca-ching! ***Sigh***I love you all!

      Jul 27, 2008 at 8:36 pm   rating: +13  

       
    • #9.7  secondsout

      I just have a unitard fetish.

      Jul 28, 2008 at 3:44 am   rating: +15  

       
    • #9.8  Holiday Djinn

      I leave the toilet seat up when i flush.

      Jul 28, 2008 at 10:59 am   rating: +3  

       
    • #9.9  Mishee

      I like to regurgitate to no extent and I love the smell of substance!

      Jul 28, 2008 at 11:03 am   rating: +3  

       
    • #9.10  RP

      I don’t have psoriasis but have excema. Is that close enough?

      Jul 28, 2008 at 12:20 pm   rating: +1  

       
    • #9.11  Mishee

      Well RP - if you are deathly allergic to peanuts (or any nut at all will do I guess… it doesn’t have to be a legume) that would help.

      Jul 28, 2008 at 7:35 pm   rating: +2  

       
     
  • #10  Canthz_B

    The nice guy who volunteers to walk you to your car after work may be a serial killer?
    So much for chivalry on my part!

    Jul 27, 2008 at 2:22 am   rating: +2  

    • #10.1  Mishee

      CB - I would’ve never taken you up on such an offer. You remind me of a serial killer already! :D (maybe because I know you well?)

      Jul 28, 2008 at 11:04 am   rating: +1  

       
    • #10.2  Marco P

      What if a serial killer poses as someone who needs an escort to their car? Ahh cunning!

      Jul 28, 2008 at 7:43 pm   rating: +1  

       
     
  • #11  gina

    damn, someone needs to tell mr. ebay man to clean his nails & take a chill pill or 10.

    Jul 27, 2008 at 2:27 am   rating: +4  

    • #11.1  WHITEBLIZZARD70

      And somebody got to help you get laid and get a life.

      Jul 27, 2008 at 7:41 pm   rating: +1  

       
    • #11.2  Wade

      Good Lord, man. Take your own damned advice.

      Jul 27, 2008 at 7:44 pm   rating: +23  

       
    • #11.3  Canthz_B

      Hmm, gina didn’t post a dirty fingernail on ebay…someone here did.
      Seems like gina was trying to help someone with poor hygiene get laid and get a life.

      Jul 27, 2008 at 7:55 pm   rating: +4  

       
     
  • #12  zombieBlanco

    Keith Jesperson killed at least eight people.

    Let’s not dishonour the victims, their families and ourselves by commenting on a note that is not appropriate for this site.

    Jul 27, 2008 at 2:34 am   rating: +13  

    • #12.1  Canthz_B

      A glimpse into the mind of a serial killer does not dishonor his victims.
      Keith Jesperson is not getting paid because his letter showed up here. THAT would dishonor the victims…although all the honoring in the world won’t bring them back.

      I don’t suspect anyone will speak unkindly of the dead here. At least I hope not.

      Jul 27, 2008 at 2:41 am   rating: +10  

       
    • #12.2  zombieBlanco

      CB — I agree that ‘a glimpse…’ does no dishonour, but I do not see this forum as an appropriate place to study the mind of a serial killer.

      Jul 27, 2008 at 2:50 am   rating: +1  

       
    • #12.3  Canthz_B

      To each his/her own.
      Personally I find it interesting that he’s tired of non-victims contacting him and hope he’s harassed until the day he dies.
      If the murders don’t haunt him, perhaps the letters will.
      As part of that, making fun of him is the least I can do to make his life more miserable if he reads this.
      I’ll leave the studying to the experts.
      But that’s just me.

      Jul 27, 2008 at 3:00 am   rating: +4  

       
    • #12.4  Troy McClure

      zB, I want to respect your opinion, and personally I don’t think I have any jokes to make about the serial killer. On the other hand, if anyone else has, I’d like them to feel able to voice them without shame. George Bush’s death toll’s in 6 figures, if you count overseas dyers (NEVER A PROBLEM.), and we regularly impugn him with lampoonity.

      Jul 27, 2008 at 6:33 am   rating: +10  

       
    • #12.5  bellabeastie

      *Lampoonity*

      Love it. Cuz GWB is the Original Asspanda.

      Jul 27, 2008 at 9:16 am   rating: +7  

       
    • #12.6  Mishee

      Lampoonity…

      Sounds like sqftage to me Troy! :D

      Jul 27, 2008 at 1:13 pm   rating: +1  

       
    • #12.7  Claire

      Well said, zombieBlanco! Sadly, society romanticizes the serial killer and forgets there are very real victims left in the wake–the killer’s victims and those who loved them. I thought the note was a stupid hoax and made one of my usual smart ass remarks–what the hell is a serial killer’s note doing on PAN anyway?

      Jul 27, 2008 at 2:38 pm   rating: +1  

       
    • #12.8  ellemarie

      well I don’t mean any disrespect, but personally I thought the whole point was that the person who wrote that note is probably not really the “happy face killer” but rather just A HOMEGROWN IMBECILES (with lead poisoning negatively impacting his demeanor), trying to freak people out..

      Jul 27, 2008 at 2:55 pm   rating: +1  

       
    • #12.9  Canthz_B

      There was no “romanticizing” here, Claire.
      Not like those losers some years ago who were selling SK trading cards.
      That was very sick and very callous.
      The link above in no way implies approval of the man’s actions.

      Now, the Godfather and Goodfellas on the other hand romanticize bad behavior.
      How many here have watched either film more than once?

      I made comments about the PA-ness of that letter, and to quote another PAN regular, “I regret nothing!”

      Jul 27, 2008 at 5:55 pm   rating: +2  

       
    • #12.10  Claire

      You’re right, CB and I stand corrected…

      Jul 27, 2008 at 8:39 pm   rating: 0  

       
    • #12.11  aaa

      Keith Jesperson getting paid because his letter showed up here? (If indeed it is him and not some teenage punk who thinks serial killers are funny.) If that were the case (which I’m glad it’s not and would never be), I’m sure the families of the victims would file a suit under the Son of Sam law.

      http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Son_of_sam_law

      Jul 27, 2008 at 9:30 pm   rating: 0  

       
     
  • #13  Sarah