what we didn’t learn at comicon: a passive-aggressive show & tell

July 29th, 2008 · 106 comments

first, the “tell” part: i know it’s ridiculous, but i still have a mini existential crisis every time a friend/colleague/family member forwards me a passive-aggressive-themed article or cartoon along with a remark like “this made me think of you!”or “hey, passive-aggressive girl!” (i comfort myself with the thought that hey, at least i didn’t decide to go with a more “technically accurate” site name like notesfromcrazyassholesanduptightbitches.com.)

now, for the show: on monday, jon stewart uttered a phrase i’ve heard from visitors to this site on, oh, let’s say more than one occasion. meanwhile, this is the second week in a row that the words “passive-aggressive” have featured prominently in the new yorker. here’s this week’s:

of course, this is well-trodden territory for the most excellent web comic toothpaste for dinner. last week, several discerning readers pointed me toward the latest:

if you take a spin through the toothpaste for dinner archives, you’ll find even more familiar themes. here’s a sampling:

and of course, xkcd never disappoints.

thanks to kate and ellen in new york, diane and mary in chicago, lisa in minnesota, segat in the u.k., and zack m. for sending these our way!

extra credit: the new yorker anti-caption contest [radosh.net]

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106 responses so far ↓

#1 Holiday Djinn

1st post! WAKA WAKA

Anyway that cartoon was fuc. . . .

Ok. really.

I have played the passive agressive door game before. It is like a sport around here during the winter months. (Indiana)

Jul 29, 2008 at 12:22 pm rating: +4

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- #1.1 park rose
  
  See if you can make an innocent stranger hurry from more than fifteen feet away while you hold the door, then gently let it go just before they reach it…
  
  Jul 29, 2008 at 12:31 pm rating: +27
- #1.2 Kate
  
  Even better: push the door open far enough so it appears that you are trying to keep it open for the next person while you keep walking (because you’re too busy to actually stand there and wait for them to catch up to you while you hold the door, but you want to be nice anyway, right?), but it actually just makes the door slam with even more force in their face.
  
  That happened to me this morning. Shiiit.
  
  At what distance is it expected that one hold the door, and when can you just let it go?
  
  Jul 29, 2008 at 12:58 pm rating: +7
- #1.3 Claire
  
  The passive-aggressive game is even more fun when you are on an empty elevator and someone in an obvious hurry is trying to make it to the door….
  
  Jul 29, 2008 at 2:32 pm rating: +3
- #1.4 Red Letterboxer
  
  The elevator game is fun. I have often given them, as they run to the elevator, the “Oh-I’m-so-sorry-I-didn’t-see-you-until-just-now-and-I’m-looking-for-the-button-that-will-open-the-door-again” act (when in reality, I’m ignoring that button and hoping the doors will close so I don’t have to share the elevator).
  
  Jul 29, 2008 at 2:45 pm rating: +3
- #1.5 Bunnee
  
  I play the elevator game every day at work, multiple times. Sometimes I’m on the giving end and sometimes I’m on the receiving end. It IS nice to have an elevator all to yourself–you can look anywhere you want to, you can fart or burp if you want to, etc…It just sucks when you’re on your way up and it stops to pick up someone else….
  
  Jul 29, 2008 at 5:07 pm rating: +2
- #1.6 Canthz_B
  
  In my version of the elevator game I actually hit the “door close” button. I love to see the “Thanks anyway” look on their faces.
  
  Jul 29, 2008 at 5:07 pm rating: +20
- #1.7 Quite Contrary
  
  I’m very accomplished at the Elevator Game. Wickedly so.
  
  I like to do it to those who do not respect the rules of the elevator. Specifically, the people who insist on getting on the elevator before anyone else gets off. For gods sake, let us off to make room for you!
  
  Jul 29, 2008 at 6:26 pm rating: +6
- #1.8 aaa
  
  Quite Contrary, that’s my number one elevator pet peeve. Especially when they insist on running you down with a gigantic SUV of a stroller. Or when there are more people than the elevator can fit trying to get on while you’re punching your way out of the damn thing.
  
  Honestly, I just always press the “close door” button right after I get in an elevator. Sharing blows.
  
  Jul 29, 2008 at 6:56 pm rating: +3
- #1.9 Quite Contrary
  
  Add to the stroller scenario 2-3 small children that the mother can’t/won’t keep track of who insist on running in, before you get off of course, and getting under your legs so you can’t get off the damn elevator. Since you are trapped, you miss the opportunity to get off and have to ride up to the next floor with the mom and the whiny kids. Which comes conveniently quickly because the little darlings have pushed all the buttons with their snot or chocolate covered hands. You then have to wait for what is an eternity for the elevator to come back (because it has to hit every floor on the way up). Fortunately, it is empty and, fortunately, you had time to run into a local office to find the hand sanitizer wipes so you can wipe down the buttons before you have to touch them again.
  
  Jul 29, 2008 at 7:40 pm rating: +1
- #1.10 amazon
  
  Bunnee, I look anywhere I want even in a crowded elevator. I especially like to stand facing the back wall, and therefore facing everyone else. It really freaks people out when you don’t turn around and watch the floors go blinking by. Especially when you just stand there and smile at them.
  
  Try it today, or the next time you’re in an elevator. It’s a fun social experiment.
  
  Jul 30, 2008 at 10:30 am rating: +8
- #1.11 Bunnee
  
  I don’t think I’d have the cajones to do that, Amazon. I would start laughing and all the people on the elevator would think I was even crazier than I originally appeared by facing all of them in the first place. Although you did make me shoot water out of my nose imagining that scenario! No, I think I’ll stick to ninja farting.
  
  Jul 30, 2008 at 11:38 am rating: +1
- #1.12 Debo Hobo
  
  And that is why I never hold the door. Don’t let it hit you on the way in….
  
  Jul 31, 2008 at 3:48 pm rating: 0
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#2 timo

Oh that is so like the Design of an Elliptical Reflector in the Gaussian-like Antenna Used in HT-7 ECRH System.
*pfft* And you know he really should have used a parabolic. Just saying.

Jul 29, 2008 at 12:25 pm rating: +9

reply to this comment
- #2.1 GhostWriter
  
  After an evening of research, I respectfully disagree. A parabolic reflector is more useful for sending signals long distances, but if you want to concentrate the signal on a particular area, an elliptical reflector is the way to go.
  
  Jul 30, 2008 at 9:40 am rating: +5
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#3 Quite Contrary

Thank you so much for a meaningful use of the company PA system. I think it will be a great way to let the VP who puts a car cover on his car every friggin day know that he is a pompous ass.

Jul 29, 2008 at 12:36 pm rating: +1

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#4 bean

Passive Aggressive Girl, helping the world laugh at the mentally, emotionally incompetent one smiley faced note at a time…

Jul 29, 2008 at 12:49 pm rating: +5

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- #4.1 Jimmy Straightline
  
  Just so ya know, cartoons are not notes. If you could remember that next time, that’d be great. Hope this helps!
  
  Jul 29, 2008 at 12:59 pm rating: +35
- #4.2 bean
  
  I’ll be sure to send out a mass email that this site is, indeed called passiveaggressivecartoons, and not passiveaggressivenotes.
  
  Thanks for setting me straight.
  
  PS She’s still a superhero in my eyes…
  
  Jul 29, 2008 at 1:35 pm rating: +3
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#5 Red Letterboxer

Cartoons with PA content are almost always funny, but sometimes cartoon placement in the workplace is itself PA. I once anonymously posted a series of cartoons (Calvin and Hobbes, Dilbert or Bloom County - can’t remember which) pertaining to the management’s tyrannical treatment of the staff at my former workplace. My coworkers and I knew that the manager wouldn’t realize it referred to him, and that was at least as funny as the cartoons were in their original context.

Jul 29, 2008 at 12:56 pm rating: +2

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- #5.1 Holiday Djinn
  
  I prefer a well placed sign that says:
  
  The beatings will continue until morale improves.
  
  -Management
  
  It is so well known (perhaps even cliche’) that nobody can pin it on any one person at the office, and it gets the point accross to all but the most ignorant middle managers. (problem is that middle management is filled about 90% with ignorant people, so you mileage may vary)
  
  Jul 29, 2008 at 1:19 pm rating: +1
- #5.2 Kev Orng
  
  You want to have real fun with office cartoons? Start posting up Garfield Minus Garfield cartoons in the lunch room. Post up a few like this one, and management will be hiring councilors in to figure out who’s about to snap.
  
  Jul 29, 2008 at 4:23 pm rating: +4
- #5.3 Canthz_B
  
  I once had a supervisor named “Allen”. He wrote his name on his stapler with Whiteout(?).
  
  I scratched off a little of the second ‘l’ so it read “Alien”. Poor guy never noticed it and my whole unit had a good laugh.
  
  Jul 29, 2008 at 5:14 pm rating: +7
- #5.4 ellemarie
  
  Bravo, Kev. g-g effing rocks.
  
  Jul 30, 2008 at 1:50 am rating: +1
- #5.5 Kev Orng
  
  I have no idea why, but I laughed for about three days straight over this one
  
  But yeah, some of the more depressing/psychotic ones are definitely going to raise red flags among management! heh heh
  
  Jul 30, 2008 at 1:24 pm rating: 0
- #5.6 fink
  
  I had a supervisor that no one liked. Every day after he left, I would take his name tag out of the drawer he’d leave it in and white out “istant” and “ager” out of Assistant Manager. He never said anything about it… just scratched it off every day. Color me disappointed!
  
  Jul 30, 2008 at 1:49 pm rating: +2
- #5.7 Kev Orng
  
  I had a boss who couldn’t stand 2H or 2B pencils. The 2H were too hard and ripped through the paper, and the 2b were too soft and got smudgy. I assume the HB were just right. Of course, this was a design company, so there were a lot of different types of pencils.
  
  He was also a complete ass for a multitude of reasons I won’t get into here.
  
  Part of my job was to take the brunt of his complete idiocy so that the designers could actually get some work done, meaning that I ended up in his office for an hour a day, listening to Bullshit and filtering it down into a post-it note summary for the designers.
  
  For these meetings I was always sure to take either a 2B or a 2H pencil which I would try to deposit into his pencil tin whilst he was absorbed with his own magnificence.
  
  I never got caught, but the whole office enjoyed the howls of outrage as the offending pencil was flung out of his office door two hours later.
  
  He never figured out it was me though. At least not before I quit.
  
  Jul 30, 2008 at 3:00 pm rating: +5
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#6 http://marlo.livejournal.com/

The bubble-letter K in the “THANKS” on the garbage can confused the hell out of me for a good couple of minutes. What gives, Drew?

Jul 29, 2008 at 1:19 pm rating: 0

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#7 Wade

If confronted with the passive-aggressive door holding illustrated in the new yorker cartoon, i would walk briskly forward, and enter through the adjoining door.

Oh, and smile and nod politely at the door holder.

Jul 29, 2008 at 1:41 pm rating: +30

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#8 GhostWriter

P\A Door Holding, indeed!

I hate P\A Cross-The-Road-Waving from the guy in a car at an intersection. “Come on, cross here in front of me.” No Shit- that’s where the crosswalk is, Doofus. I will occasionally turn around just so I don’t see their frantic control freak handwaving. Let’s see you wait me out on this one, Dude. Pretty soon there’ll be a car beeping behind you, and you’ll have to move along.

Jul 29, 2008 at 1:49 pm rating: +7

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- #8.1 anglophile
  
  I also hate the bossy drivers who have reached the stop sign first, but wave me through before them. It’s not all that hard, people. First one stopped is the first one to go. Stop telling me what to do and drive, dammit!
  
  Jul 29, 2008 at 3:19 pm rating: +8
- #8.2 se
  
  GW, did it occur to you that the guy in the car waving you to cross in front of him just wants to watch you walk?
  
  Jul 29, 2008 at 4:40 pm rating: +7
- #8.3 Grade Ape
  
  Oh anglophile, you haven’t run across the likes of me.
  
  When it looks like it’s going to be a close call at a 4-way stop, I slam on the brakes and stop about 15 yards short of the sign, just so I can be the one who stopped first. Then go tearing off across the intersection scattering young children and the elderly in my wake.
  
  Jul 29, 2008 at 5:50 pm rating: +13
- #8.4 Goldie
  
  I don’t know about where you live, GW, but in our parts, most pedestrians are like f-ing deer. They jump out in front of you, then freeze as soon as you slam on your brakes. I wave. Call it PA if you want to. I call it, “come on, dude, get your ass off the road already!”
  Also, can you please host a training seminar in our area to teach them the meaning of crosswalk. They don’t seem to know what it is or where to find it.
  
  Jul 30, 2008 at 7:08 am rating: +1
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#9 Miss Unloop

TFD and PAN - my two new most favoritest websites!

Jul 29, 2008 at 2:01 pm rating: +1

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- #9.1 Troy McClure
  
  I agree with you on PAN. I’m not sure what TFD is, but I hope Kerry likes it. Your comment reminds me of this:
  
  When South Park creators Trey Parker and Matt Stone were questioned about the meanest thing ever said to them, Stone replied “When people say to me, ‘God, you guys have one of the best shows on television. You and Family Guy.’ That fucking hurts so bad”, to which Parker agreed: “Very well said. It’s such a kick in the balls.”
  
  Jul 29, 2008 at 7:59 pm rating: +2
- #9.2 Miss Unloop
  
  TFD is “Toothpaste for Dinner” - I love it because it makes fun of everything from passive-aggressive behavior to borderline personality disorder. I deal with varying degrees of mental illness every day as part of my work, and it helps to be able to laugh at it from time to time.
  
  I heart Trey and Matt! Their commentary on The Kids in the Hall’s “Same Guys, New Dresses” cracked me up!
  
  Jul 29, 2008 at 8:04 pm rating: 0
- #9.3 Troy McClure
  
  Oops, sorry, that should have been obvious … but it’s early here!
  Anyhow, yeah, Trey & Matt have brought many a tear to my eye.
  
  Jul 29, 2008 at 8:06 pm rating: 0
- #9.4 Goldie
  
  I hate to break it to Trey and Matt, but Family Guy rocks… and doesn’t seem to run out of steam like one other best show on television. Though I have to admit, the episode about Family Guy and the manatees was funny.
  
  Jul 30, 2008 at 7:12 am rating: +3
- #9.5 Troy McClure
  
  Well that’s the weird thing, isn’t it? If I ever meet them, I know now not to say that, but otherwise I seriously might have.
  
  Jul 30, 2008 at 7:16 am rating: 0
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#10 RP

The last cartoon is full of win.

I think I’ve been a victim of the PA door holding game though. It’s why I don’t hold the elevator for strangers anymore.

Jul 29, 2008 at 2:07 pm rating: 0

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#11 claw71

I love the Passive Aggressive saunter through the cross walk. You tend see it when poorer people are crossing the street. I think they do it so that you’ll get fired for being late to work thus allowing them to swoop in and steal your job.

That’s not my PA weapon of choice. I don’t like my odds versus a car. Especially if Bob Novak is driving. Nope, when I’m feeling nasty I tend to go to the farting in common areas well. My favorite is the crowded elevator fart. I like to get to the back of the car so the smell can never quite make its way out. I’m also a crop duster and I’ve even gone so far as to trap farts in jars and/or tupperware containers. That’s a little number I like to call caged heat. If you’ve ever seen a raccoon or a badger go ballistic after being trapped in a cage for a day you have some idea what that fart might be like. It’s not pretty. So the next time you think your Jiff has gone over you might want to think about how you could have offended claw71.

Jul 29, 2008 at 2:20 pm rating: +20

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- #11.1 Burghardt
  
  claw, are you my brother? He always amazes me how he can fart on demand and that is definitely his weapon of choice. He used to threaten to fart on my pillow when we were kids.
  
  Jul 29, 2008 at 3:02 pm rating: +1
- #11.2 claw71
  
  We’re not related because I would have schooled you on the science of farting. It’s hard work and requires considerable knowledge.
  
  I certainly hope that your brother matured and no longer threatens to fart on your pillow. I never make threats with farts.
  
  The way I see it, if you feel the need to make a flatus threat you might as well go ahead and fire one off because the minute you don’t make good on a threat to fart everybody loses respect for it. You can’t have that. I prefer to let my ass do the talking, but like Teddy Roosevelt said, fart softly and leave a nasty smell. I don’t have much use for thunder if it doesn’t make it rain.
  
  Some people believe that my use of the SBD dishonors the art of farting but I don’t see it that way. I’m a professional and farting is my business, it’s not about artistic expression…it’s about what has to be done. I don’t need medals and I don’t want money. The effect of the fart is credit enough.
  
  Jul 29, 2008 at 4:24 pm rating: +19
- #11.3 Kev Orng
  
  I’d ask you to kindly explain why my car seat sometimes releases trapped fart when I sit down, but I probably ate a big mac on a long drive the day before, so you’re off the hook for THIS one.
  
  Jul 29, 2008 at 4:30 pm rating: +3
- #11.4 Goldie
  
  Now we’re talking! Of course you’re about two hours away from me, so no wonder we’ve got the same breed of pedestrian…
  My question though is, how do you fart on slow people crossing the street? I’ve tried rolling down the window and pointing my ass sideways, but it still doesn’t seem to bother them. Please advise.
  
  Jul 30, 2008 at 7:16 am rating: +2
- #11.5 claw71
  
  If you need to deliver a fart to somebody who is not in the flatus zone you can utilize the dreaded cup and toss method. For best results I would advise reaching into your pants and catching the fart before it gets filtered by clothing because you will lose some of its potency in the transfer. As the fart is released from your anus it is decidedly more concentrated so don’t be shy about digging deep for a good one.
  
  Simply cup the fart in your hand and release it near the subject’s face. You can also toss the fart at the person. With practice you can effectively toss a fart as far as 10 feet. I’ve seen people actually open their hand near their own faces and blow the fart in the intended direction but this is a very dangerous manuever. If the wind shifts or you accidently inhale you’ll learn that there aren’t enough Altoids in the world to take that taste out of your mouth. Of course those of you with older brothers probably know this already.
  
  However, one of the best ways to get even with slow street crossers is to keep some loose change handy. Throw it behind them so they think they’re dropping money. Then when the light turns green they are yours.
  
  Jul 30, 2008 at 8:34 am rating: +14
- #11.6 Ewwww!
  
  Elevator farts are just wrong. There’s no reason to fart in an elevator. It’s not even funny to joke around about it.
  
  The cup and toss trick sounds funny but is anybody else disturbed at the thought that went into the post? I think Claw actually does this.
  
  This is way too much time devoted to farts, Claw.
  
  Jul 30, 2008 at 10:57 am rating: +1
- #11.7 claw71
  
  A lunch time meeting with the boss man
  Gonna get me a raise today
  Suddenly I smell something gross man
  I think I need Lysol spray
  
  I should’ve taken the stairs
  the fart will stick to my suit
  It’s burning my nasal hairs
  My god, why did you poot?
  
  Farts in the elevator
  holding my nose as I’m going down
  Farts in the elevator
  I’m going to reak when I hit the town
  
  I need air, I need air, I need one more one more one breath of air!
  
  Jul 30, 2008 at 11:10 am rating: +13
- #11.8 Bunnee
  
  Claw, I wish we could check the thumbs-up more than once, because that is the funniest thing I have read in a long time! And yes, I have 3 older brothers, so this brings back TONS of memories. Also, I’m going to start keeping more spare change in my car.
  
  Jul 30, 2008 at 11:55 am rating: 0
- #11.9 Ryan
  
  I’m in Boston and I’m a motorist - so I definitely know this one Senior Claw. This is ground fucking zero for passive aggressive streetwalkers (not nasty hookers - just totally self-absorbed pedestrians!)
  
  Man, I hate it when you have been waiting through an entire light cycle at an 8-way intersection (four ways with four turns) and it finally is coming to you and someone enters the crosswalk extremely late and practically crawls across the road.
  
  No objection whatsoever to this situation with the elderly, women with strollers, parents (wranglers) with kids or people carrying stuff.
  
  The one’s that get you are the young upwardly mobile professionals, the students and self-absorbed cellphone chatters who can clearly see they are holding up 200 cars and still slowly waltz across.
  
  These are probably the same people who were leaning on their horns earlier the same morning.
  
  The vast majority are jay walkers who enter the intersection at the wrong time, practically throwing themselves in front of moving traffic - expecting people to see them in enough time to break.
  
  The kicker? They give you the nasty look even though they created this proposterious situation with their indifference for safety and for their fellow man. I’m not much of a horn honker, but I can definitely understand it.
  
  Jul 30, 2008 at 11:56 am rating: 0
- #11.10 Kev Orng
  
  There’s one thing you have to be careful of with the cup and toss method. It’s like catching butterflies. You want to open your hand to see if you actually caught the butterfly, but then the butterfly gets away.
  
  You want to fight the urge to check to make sure you actually caught the fart. For various reasons.
  
  Jul 30, 2008 at 1:30 pm rating: +4
- #11.11 claw71
  
  You also need to make sure you get a good seal. If you don’t have a sweaty ass you might want to lick your hand so the fart doesn’t sneak out. There’s nothing more humilating than going to all that trouble to forcefully hurl nothing at your enemy.
  
  Jul 30, 2008 at 1:55 pm rating: +5
- #11.12 Mishee
  
  Kev and claw - those issues are the reason I just stick to the good, old fashioned StinkPalm.
  
  You know how long it takes for that smell to come off? Scrub all you want, it’ll stick around for at least two days. How does he explain it to his colleagues and family? They’ll think he doesn’t know how to wipe his ass properly.
  
  Yes, my hand will stink too, but that’s small price to pay for the smiting of one’s enemies.
  
  (sorry, I just had to do it!)
  
  Jul 30, 2008 at 2:12 pm rating: +2
- #11.13 Alikat
  
  The StinkPalm always makes me happy in a very uncomfortable place.
  
  Jul 31, 2008 at 4:28 pm rating: +1

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