Passive-aggressive mad libs

July 30th, 2008 · 132 comments

This note from a “friendly neighbor” was put through the mailslot of Dan’s apartment in the heart of South Philly. Says Dan: “I wanted to put ‘thanks for the advice!’ on the door in response, but thought better of it.”

Hey, Trash goes out Tuesday Night after 7:00 p.m. + should be put out on the curb, not against the house. You may want to invest in trash cans for the back of the property or ask the owner of the building to do so. Thanks, Friendly Neighbor

As infuriating as the note was, “I do love how they phoned in the underlining on ‘of’ and ‘the,’ then went to town with ‘curb,’” Dan says. “Thank you, friendly neighbor, for the best piece of bulletin board material I’ve ever gotten.”

related: Two birds with one snowman

FILED UNDER: excessive underlining · garbage · gloriously redundant · neighbors · Philadelphia


132 responses so far ↓

  • #1   HellGirl

    “Hey, trash goes out FRIDAY MORNING BEFORE 3AM and should be put out on the ROOF. Not against the house. You may want to invest in HOTPANTS for the GOOD OF HUMANITY or ask the TENANTS of the building to do so.”

    Such fun

    Jul 30, 2008 at 4:07 pm   rating: 26  small thumbs up

    • #1.1   Beth

      Whee! It’s PA Mad Libs!

      “Hey, Trash goes out MONDAYS before SUNSET and should be put UP YOUR NOSE, not against the house. You might want to invest in SLIPPERS for the FAINT OF HEART or ask the PROSTITUTES of the building to do so.”

      Jul 30, 2008 at 9:41 pm   rating: 12  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.2   PandoraWombat bang

      Hey, trash goes out IN THE FIFTEENTH CENTURY after THE WEEKLY WITCH-BURNING and should be put out on the AIRCRAFT CARRIER, not against the house. You may want to invest in CORN FUTURES for the REST OF THE HOLOCENE ERA or ask the CRAWL SPACE of the building to do so. Thanks, KINDERGARTEN TEACHER-WITHOUT-PORTFOLIO

      Mad-Libs are AWESOME!

      Aug 2, 2008 at 11:43 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #2   Paintball "Punk"

    What the fuck is a frierdly neighbor?

    Is his name Tuck?

    Jul 30, 2008 at 4:18 pm   rating: 18  small thumbs up

    • #2.1   Canthz_B bang

      That would be a friar. This guy just loves greasy food. ;-)

      Jul 30, 2008 at 4:46 pm   rating: 14  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #3   Mark bang

    “Hey, trash goes out THE DAY AFTER THE APOCALYPSE and should be put out on the FANNY. Not against the house. You may want to invest in ENRON for the GARAGE CEILING CAT or ask the PROSTITUTES of the building to do so.”

    Whee!

    Jul 30, 2008 at 4:19 pm   rating: 23  small thumbs up

     
  • #4   YoureACunt

    The trash on the side of the house was fucking delicious!

    I guess the neighbor is tired of seeing the trash on the side of the house or maybe they’re on the second floor and smelling the used condoms and t.v. dinner boxes.

    Jul 30, 2008 at 4:32 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #4.1   Sydney

      Are you implying that someone is using tv dinner boxes as condoms? Because if you aren’t, I will.

      Jul 30, 2008 at 10:43 pm   rating: 9  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.2   Holiday Djinn

      If the love glove fits. . . . . .

      Jul 31, 2008 at 7:08 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #5   Canthz_B bang

    Sounds like a fun town on Tuesday nights. All the trashy townspeople hit the bars after 7pm.
    When you shoot their drunken asses when they come home, be sure to do it at the curb.
    Be generous and leave canned goods in the backyard for them, or ask the owner of the building to do it.

    Jul 30, 2008 at 4:33 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

     
  • #6   se

    Hey Dan,
    The next “note” that you’ll probably get in your mailbox will be a fine from Phila. BLI for putting out trash prior to 24 hours before pickup day…

    Jul 30, 2008 at 4:34 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #7   Grade Ape

    “Hey, trash goes out THEN IN, THEN OUT and should be put out on the RECEIPT OF PAYMENT. Not against the house. You may want to invest in COMPLEMENTARY CONDOMS for the PARADE OF SLEAZY MEN or ask the MADAM of the building to do so.”

    Mad Libs ARE Fun!

    Jul 30, 2008 at 4:36 pm   rating: 11  small thumbs up

     
  • #8   Canthz_B bang

    Rubbermaid™ stock just jumped 6 points!

    Jul 30, 2008 at 4:36 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

     
  • #9   amy d bang

    Hey, Trash goes out on FRIDAY NIGHTS AFTER 10 P.M. and should be put out AS SOON AS YOU FINISH HAVING SEX WITH THEM, not THE NEXT MORNING. You may want to invest in CONDOMS for the BACK OF THE PROPERTY or ask the OWNER OF THE BULLETIN BOARD to do so. Thanks, CALLOUS NEIGHBOR

    Jul 30, 2008 at 4:43 pm   rating: 13  small thumbs up

    • #9.1   amy d bang

      ^ Not meant to be a mad lib. Meant to be a reinterpretation of the note (sort of).

      Jul 30, 2008 at 4:46 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #10   JPav

    Hey, trash goes out SUNDAY AFTERNOON DURING MIDNIGHT and should be put out on the DOLPHIN. Not against the house. You may want to invest in BINOCULARS for the FRONT OF THE SHAMPOO or ask the ICE CREAM MAN of the building to do so.”

    Gee Willackers! This IS fun!

    Jul 30, 2008 at 4:45 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

     
  • #11   timo

    Hay,
    Trash goes out DAILY WITH THE OLD MAN TO THE SEA AT MIDNIGHT and should be put out on the STEPPES not the side of the house.
    You may want to invest in SILKEN PANTALOONS for the SNIPE HUNT AND BALL or ask the OGRE of the building to do so.

    spanks,
    Your friedmaster general neighbor

    Jul 30, 2008 at 5:09 pm   rating: 14  small thumbs up

     
  • #12   claw71 bang

    Now if that note had been signed Your Friendly Neighborhood Spiderman, I’d be impressed and willing to comply.

    Jul 30, 2008 at 5:10 pm   rating: 14  small thumbs up

     
  • #13   Mishee bang

    I see this as a trailer park woman who wants a date on Tuesday at 7pm.

    Hey, somebody’s gotta take out the trash!

    Jul 30, 2008 at 5:13 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

    • #13.1   Timo

      “I’ll be pumping out the chemical toilet and I see that you will be also.”

      Jul 30, 2008 at 7:11 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #14   claw71 bang

    Seriously though, does the strategic underline placement make anybody else suspect that this note is really a coded invitation for gay sex at the back of the property on Tuesday Night…or is that just wishful thinking on my part?

    Jul 30, 2008 at 5:14 pm   rating: 18  small thumbs up

    • #14.1   Grade Ape

      “curb” hunh? So that’s what the kids are calling it these days…

      Dan’s having sex with the owner by the trash cans at the back of the property! By-gum you’ve cracked it Claw!

      Jul 30, 2008 at 5:53 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #14.2   kat

      Hey
      Trash goes out IN THE FAR STALL with a TAPPING FOOT and should be INDICATED WITH A WIDE STANCE.

      Jul 31, 2008 at 8:50 am   rating: 11  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #15   Canthz_B bang

    I wonder, what clever helpful hints were written on the bottom half of this piece of paper?

    Jul 30, 2008 at 5:20 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #16   secondsout bang

    I was going to invest in trash cans, but I decided that perhaps it wasn’t too lucrative a market. On the other hand, tech stock is a little unpredictable for my risk tolerance. Maybe I’ll stick with something a bit more stable, like real estate. Huh? What do you mean home prices are plummeting?

    Jul 30, 2008 at 5:25 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

    • #16.1   Mark bang

      Investing in beer, hookers, and blow makes more sense these days.

      Jul 30, 2008 at 5:28 pm   rating: 10  small thumbs up

       
    • #16.2   secondsout bang

      No “these days” about it. Those are always guaranteed to be worth the money.

      Jul 30, 2008 at 5:36 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #16.3   Grade Ape

      History shows us that the fair market price for blow and beer has always increased steadily. Whores however have proven to be volatile.

      Jul 30, 2008 at 5:58 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #16.4   Timo

      With whores it is very much up and down…and up…and down.

      Jul 30, 2008 at 7:13 pm   rating: 20  small thumbs up

       
    • #16.5   Mark bang

      “No time for the old in-out love, I’ve just come to read the meter.”

      Jul 30, 2008 at 7:19 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #16.6   Timo bang

      ” so is there any tread left on the tire or is it pretty much like throwing a hotdog down a hallway?”

      Jul 30, 2008 at 7:43 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #17   Red Letterboxer

    The note is oddly helpful and friendly if you ignore the stressed-out underlining. Makes you wonder if Mr. Note-writer drafted it and Mrs. Note-writer added the emphasis before delivering it. She probably worked herself into a rage by the time she got to his door. How far into the home was the note found? The greater the distance the angrier the delivery.

    Jul 30, 2008 at 5:53 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

     
  • #18   Canthz_B bang

    It’s always the friendly neighbor who has the stick up her butt.
    Reminds me of Mrs. Kravitz on Bewitched!

    “Abner! Abner! The Stevens’ have put out their trash and it’s only six fifty-five! DO something, Abner!”

    Jul 30, 2008 at 6:14 pm   rating: 13  small thumbs up

     
  • #19   aaa

    In high school, we just put “penis” in every blank.

    Hey, Trash goes out Penis Penis penis penis p.m. & should be put out on the penis, Not against the house. You may want to invest in penis penis for the penis penis penis penis or ask the penis of the building to do so.

    Thanks,
    Friendly Neighbor

    Jul 30, 2008 at 6:34 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

    • #19.1   amy d bang

      I put a penis in all my blanks in high school, too.

      Jul 30, 2008 at 6:57 pm   rating: 27  small thumbs up

       
    • #19.2   kate

      Triple a, that was the funniest thing I’ve read all day. Boy, do I have some growing up to do or what?

      Jul 30, 2008 at 7:21 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #19.3   Timo bang

      *Blurts out like Ted on “Scrubs”*

      I LOVE YOU Amy d!
      :razz: :lol: :grin:

      Jul 30, 2008 at 7:28 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #19.4   Canthz_B bang

      I hope aaa, kate and amy have two eyes, a nose and blank faces! :-P

      Jul 30, 2008 at 8:17 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #19.5   claw71 bang

      So, Amy, what are you doing Friday night? Do you want to come over and play poker with us guys? Or would that be Poke Her

      Jul 31, 2008 at 8:51 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #19.6   amy d bang

      Uhm, only if I’m the her in question.

      I believe there should be one womand for every man. I’m that woman.

      Jul 31, 2008 at 9:19 am   rating: 10  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #20   The Other Leanne

    It looks like they had a little trouble deciding whether to put a period or a comma after “curb.”
    “Wait! Is ‘Not against the house’ a new sentence? Abner, what do I do here?”
    “Just put them both, Gladys, just put them both.”

    Jul 30, 2008 at 7:05 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #21   Jimmy Straightline

    It is my understanding that everything said in Philly must be preceeded with “Hey Buddy” — as in “Hey Buddy, Trash goes out on Tuesday nights – I’ll come by and pick up your sister then!”

    Jul 30, 2008 at 7:24 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #22   ama

    Hey, Trash! are you writing in code??

    Tuesday Night after 7:00 curb trash cans back of the property owner

    T N a 7 c t c b o t p o

    ‘poco TNT at 7…. CB.’

    Jul 30, 2008 at 7:53 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #22.1   Timo bang

      “Poco” the band is going to be reunited on TNT at 7!?

      WHY?

      Jul 30, 2008 at 8:30 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #22.2   Canthz_B bang

      Why are they simulcasting on CB radio?

      Jul 30, 2008 at 8:34 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #22.3   Timo bang

      Their core demographic is the mullet flying long hauler so maybe it is channel 7 on the CB radio!

      We’ve busted this code wide open.

      Jul 30, 2008 at 8:39 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #22.4   Canthz_B bang

      …and that’s why it’s always sunny in Philadelphia, boys and girls!

      Jul 30, 2008 at 8:44 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #23   thursday

    I can’t even figure out what Dan did wrong. Put out his trash too early? Too late? Too far away from the curb? Why would you need trash cans for both sides of the building?

    Jul 30, 2008 at 8:56 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #23.1   Crash bang

      Mad Libs, man…YOU gott’a fill in the blanks 8)

      Jul 30, 2008 at 9:00 pm   rating: 11  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #24   bean bang

    I’m so confused…why does it have to be after 7?

    I’m super happy if I remember to put the trash out when I get home, and not after a bongload and some dinner, when I am way to comfortable to get up, put some clothes on and go back outside.

    Jul 30, 2008 at 8:56 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #24.1   Canthz_B bang

      It’s about the aesthetics of the community.
      Trash out at night is more out of sight, out of mind. Trash out during he day means our community actually generates trash for all to see.
      Better it be hidden under cover of darkness so we can pretend our shit doesn’t stink.

      Jul 30, 2008 at 9:38 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #24.2   Grade Ape

      I love it… Bean is at home laying around after dinner, bong loaded and butt-naked.

      I thought I was the only one!

      Jul 31, 2008 at 10:53 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #25   Sarjo bang

    Hey,

    Trash goes out THORSDAY NEKKID BEFORE ZEROHOURpm + should be put out on the STONE ALTAR. Not against the house. You may want to invest in SACRIFICIAL VIRGINS OR GOATS for the FESTIVAL of the DEMON or ask the FAMILIARS of the building to do so.

    Thanks,
    “Friendly” “Neighbor”

    Jul 30, 2008 at 9:23 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

     
  • #26   Freind Neighbhor

    Hey, I just came across this…that FREAK Dan! He was putting his trash all LOOSE in our MUTALLYSHAREDSPACES and stink too. I thouhgt it could be PROVATE and FRINEDLY but now hes all on the internets acting crying. You people obvs never had suffered from TRASH ALLERGIES or youd know how miserable it is but you LAUGH, DAN RAPED ME with his TRASHHH!!!!!

    Jul 30, 2008 at 9:48 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

     
  • #27   WHITEBLIZZARD70

    Well, well, well.
    OK, you won the first round . The ring did not sell.
    So what? It will be relisted shortly with a SLIGHTLY different description.
    I am open for comments.
    In the meantime, here is the topic for you:
    “Liberalism is a mental disorder”

    Jul 30, 2008 at 9:50 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #27.1   anglophile bang

      PAN commenters: 1

      Slightly unbalanced e-bay sellers: 0

      Jul 30, 2008 at 9:56 pm   rating: 16  small thumbs up

       
    • #27.2   amy d bang

      Smug Satisfaction: priceless

      Jul 30, 2008 at 9:57 pm   rating: 10  small thumbs up

       
    • #27.3   Sarjo

      Oboy it’s ANAGRAM LIBS!!!

      Okay, start with:
      “Liberalism is a mental disorder”

      1) lesbians do stare, mid-lair*

      Carry on!

      *missing a few bits, but so too is WHITEBLIZZARD70

      Jul 30, 2008 at 10:02 pm   rating: 9  small thumbs up

       
    • #27.4   Canthz_B bang

      Over 2200 hits and none of them stupid enough to bid in your auction?
      There is intelligent life in the cyberverse after all.

      Your attempt to bait us into a political discussion of your choosing falls on deaf ears, troll.
      Besides, you’re not a worthy opponent.

      Jul 30, 2008 at 10:04 pm   rating: 12  small thumbs up

       
    • #27.5   Wade bang

      Blaming your inability to sell a ring on comments from an unrelated website, rather than your own ineptitude, is a much better indicator of mental disorder.

      Or sheer stupidity.

      Jul 30, 2008 at 10:04 pm   rating: 9  small thumbs up

       
    • #27.6   kat

      “drearisome brilliant misleads”

      Jul 31, 2008 at 8:57 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #27.7   kat

      here’s an ambigram for us….
      “whiteblizzard” =”alert bid whizz”

      Jul 31, 2008 at 3:04 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #28   WHITEBLIZZARD70

    The friendly neighbhor is actually a very tolerant und nice fellow.
    He had all the right to scoop up da trash and dump it all over the offenders car.
    Next time the punk will “respek” da rules instead of acting like a ” HOME-GROWN IMBECILE”.
    I should seriously consider to register and trademark the expression.

    Jul 30, 2008 at 9:56 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #28.1   amy d bang

      Make sure to trademark ‘respek” while you’re at it.

      Jul 30, 2008 at 9:59 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #28.2   Canthz_B bang

      Well, first of all that would need to be copyrighted, not trademarked, and second of all, why bother? No one will ever repeat such a thing!

      Jul 30, 2008 at 10:07 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #28.3   Sarjo

      R-E-S-P-E-K

      Find out what it means TUESDAY night after 7pm

      Jul 30, 2008 at 10:08 pm   rating: 9  small thumbs up

       
    • #28.4   WHITEBLIZZARD70

      I am afraid it’s too late for that. “Respek” belongs to Sasha Baron Cohen (aka Ali G)

      Jul 30, 2008 at 10:08 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #28.5   Canthz_B bang

      Well then, there’s a lesson for you in the competitive marketplace! ;-)

      Way to go Ali G.

      Jul 30, 2008 at 10:16 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #28.6   Sydney

      “tolerant UND nice”? Holy cow, we’ve been invaded by Germany. Alert the media!

      Jul 30, 2008 at 10:47 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #28.7   DirtyOldLady bang

      Spelling it “respek” kind of messes up the meter of the song.

      “R-E-S-P-E-K,
      find out what it means today,
      R-E-S-P-E-K,
      it’s the
      only way,
      Whoa! A little respek!”

      Not gonna win any Grammys that way. :D

      Jul 31, 2008 at 7:47 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #28.8   Goldie

      Wow the “street” lingo sure brings back the memories. My son used it a lot in 3rd and 4th grades.
      Also, if he’s a nice guy, then why do you call him neigbhor? That shit is trifling!

      Jul 31, 2008 at 10:04 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #29   WHITEBLIZZARD70

    Now, here is the true story for you.
    After hurricane Wilma, when nowbody in South Florida had power, I was in da hurry to leave for a Halloween party and by mistake parked my car in the wrong parking space (it was dark)
    I took my other car (my wife left town with a kid with friends untill things got back to normal) and went to the party.
    The friendly c…t of a neighbor (who owned the spot )instead of leaving me a friendly note got my car towed away.
    Now, here is a quiz: What happened to my “friendly neighbor’s” car when I found out?
    Also, you are welcome to fill in the blank.

    Jul 30, 2008 at 10:07 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #29.1   Sarjo

      You ate it!

      Jul 30, 2008 at 10:09 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #29.2   Canthz_B bang

      Let’s ponder…what would someone with the self-control of a three-year-old, someone who blames their failings on others, do to the car of someone who exercised their rights in a free society?

      Jul 30, 2008 at 10:20 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #29.3   Bird

      He ate it! He ate it!

      Jul 30, 2008 at 10:22 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #29.4   Canthz_B bang

      I really can’t ponder the subject of the car because I’m having trouble with the concept of “normal” in this guy’s house!

      Jul 30, 2008 at 10:33 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #29.5   Bird

      Normal=He ate it!

      Jul 30, 2008 at 10:54 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #29.6   snee

      he totally ate it, and…

      it was fucking delicious!

      (it’s okay; i’m wearing the unitard RIGHT NOW.)

      Jul 31, 2008 at 2:18 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #29.7   Holiday Djinn

      OH! Oh! I know the answer! I know the answer!

      He shoved a live cobra up her ass!

      Jul 31, 2008 at 7:15 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #29.8   kate

      He scratched his name in the neighbor’s car using his dirty fingernails.

      Jul 31, 2008 at 11:39 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #30   WHITEBLIZZARD70

    I let you ponder on that for awhile.
    Have to leave you now.

    Jul 30, 2008 at 10:12 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #30.1   Bird

      NEST YOUR COMMENTS (imbecile!)

      Jul 30, 2008 at 10:14 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #30.2   Quite Contrary bang

      I’m devastated at your departure. I might have to go take my frustration out on some trash. Is it after 7:00? I wonder if the trash is at the curb or on the side of the house.

      Jul 30, 2008 at 10:36 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #30.3   The Trash

      Heeey, QC, behbey…

      Where do you wannnt me to be?

      Jul 30, 2008 at 10:52 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #31   WHITEBLIZZARD70

    The “PRECIOUS” is relisted !
    Anybody getting married soon?
    Sorry, the nail STAYS HERE.
    You will get Cartier ring ONLY.
    Guten Nacht, infidels!
    See ya’all later.

    Jul 30, 2008 at 10:53 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #31.1   ThatWeirdHobbitFing

      Oh the precious! Where is the precious?

      *chokes WB70*

      MINE! My precious!

      Jul 30, 2008 at 10:56 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #31.2   morpho aurora bang

      can you bite his fingers off while you’re at it?

      Jul 30, 2008 at 11:00 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #31.3   Canthz_B bang

      You might be able to sell the nail too…but not “as is”!

      Jul 30, 2008 at 11:04 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #31.4   morpho aurora bang

      considering the amount of money you’d have to spend on bleach first, i don’t think that would be a wise investment.

      Jul 30, 2008 at 11:30 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #31.5   aaa

      For some reason, when I read “nail,” I though of the Jesus type of nails.

      Jul 31, 2008 at 12:25 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #32   Crash bang

    I think WHITEBLIZZARD70 is a mental condition…
    The primary symptom is delusions of grandeur.

    Jul 31, 2008 at 12:52 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #32.1   aaa

      Naw, Whiteblizzard70 is just a particularly violent and toxic form of syphilis that goes into the tertiary stage and attacks the central nervous system (100% of the time) in a matter of minutes, as opposed to a matter of years.

      http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Syphilis#Tertiary_syphilis

      Jul 31, 2008 at 6:11 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #32.2   Phalange

      Other symptoms include flipping out over a miniscule amount of negative feedback on E-bay, retaliatory trolling on the interwebs, and erectile disfunction.

      WHITEBLIZZARD70 affects approximately 1 person in the US every year, but with your donations, we can research a cure to end this horrible condition!

      Jul 31, 2008 at 2:37 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #33   Bikerbabeee

    in my neck of the woods that particular moniker (whiteblizzard) has been used off and on to describe any fool who does copious amounts of speed, or coke.
    After reading the backstory, and watching the excellent comments here today, I am assured that we were correct in using the term for that particular type of individual. Whiteblizzard70 must be so proud!

    Jul 31, 2008 at 1:25 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #33.1   Crash bang

      Hey !!!
      Be careful,
      he might make ponder on that a little while… :mrgreen:

      Jul 31, 2008 at 1:36 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #34   claw71 bang

    Since “dan” will likely be checking in from time to time I think it is important to call asshole on him. Dude, seriously, put the trash in a container and take it out to the curb. Don’t be that guy.

    Also… I don’t know what part of South Philly Dan’s hailing from but he really needs to count himself lucky. I’ve seen parts of South Philly and if Dan had offended his not-so-friendly neighbor the cops would still be looking for his body. Dan might have, quite literally, dodged a bullet here.

    In short, the note is funny but Dan is a dick. So pretty please, Dan, with sugar on top…take out the fucking trash.

    Jul 31, 2008 at 6:38 am   rating: 8  small thumbs up

    • #34.1   Goldie

      See I’m confused about the note in general. Every apartment building I’ve lived in, we didn’t have garbage days. We either had a garbage chute where you tossed your garbage down the chute and then who knows what happened, or we had a large container somewhere on the property, where you’d toss your bags in and every morning a garbage truck would come and take it all away.
      I remember it well because my son used to be afraid of the dark and I used to play this game with him where I’d tell all the fears/nightmares to come out of his head, get in single file and march to the dumpster, then get inside and close the lid, and stay there till the garbage truck came to haul them away. It was the only thing that got him to go to sleep when he was 3 or 4. To my amazement he later told me he used to believe that whole scenario… kids. Anyway not sure how you take your trash out to the curb in an apartment building, with say a hundred apartments that would be one hell of a curb on Tuesday nights. Confusing. Can Dan maybe explain?

      Jul 31, 2008 at 10:15 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #34.2   Blue Canary

      Well, you can rent apartments that aren’t part of large complexes. In the last three apartments I lived in, I was responsible for putting our trash on the curb on garbage day. But I’ve also lived in apartment complexes that just have a big dumpster in the back. It just depends.

      Jul 31, 2008 at 10:28 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #34.3   #1Mom

      Wow, Goldie I do something similar with my kid: When it’s time to party (get my “whiteblizzard” on, ya know) I tell the kid that the monsters are coming…single file…to get him, and the only safe place to hide is in his closet! Works great, current record is 5 hours free time for mom!

      Jul 31, 2008 at 10:56 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #34.4   Holiday Djinn

      This is a genius idea 1mom. Fear is a much stronger motivational tool than love and respect. I would take it a step further and condition them to be even more terrified of these ficticious monsters.

      Ok, Billy, have it your way. Oh, whats that knocking on the front door. . . . . Don’t cry now Billy, they sense your fear.

      Jul 31, 2008 at 11:26 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #34.5   Goldie

      Beware the kids when they come out of the closet, though… it is a terrible thing to behold. Or, worse yet, a kid may start cleaning out his closet!
      Seriously, it just so happened that all of our friends had boys the same age as mine, so we used to just have two parties going on in parallel… parents drinking, and herds of little boys running about. Good times.

      Jul 31, 2008 at 11:41 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #34.6   Grade Ape

      When I’ve found myself surrounded by children I’ve always found that alcohol is the best way to cope. The higher the # of kids, the stiffer I make the drinks.

      “Mommy, why did Uncle Ape twirl his pants over his head, scream something about the proletariat and then fall over into our ficus?”

      Jul 31, 2008 at 12:02 pm   rating: 9  small thumbs up

       
    • #34.7   Canthz_B bang

      Maybe Dan is a time-traveler.
      Back when I was a kid we had “garbage men” and they’d take the cans from the alley to the truck and leave them at the curb. Another “garbage man” would follow and return the empty cans to the alley.
      Now we have “sanitation engineers” and more work to do for the homeowner.

      Progress.

      Jul 31, 2008 at 2:20 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #34.8   wright

      Goldie, that’s a great monster-coping story. I’ll use a version of that for my nephew if he ever gets that scared of the dark.

      Jul 31, 2008 at 3:34 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #34.9   Timo bang

      There is a closet joke to be made here that only my cousin would appreciate I think.

      Jul 31, 2008 at 4:34 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #35   Zelanie bang

    Hey, Trash goes out with your Mom every night & she should put out on the curb. Not against the house. You may want to invest in webcams for the moneymaking potential or ask your Mom to do so.

    Thanks,
    Frierdly Neighbor

    Jul 31, 2008 at 9:04 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

    • #35.1   Timo bang

      Your Mom needs to stop dating parolees from the pen. He leaves her by the curb when he is done. It is scaring the children. Think of the Children!!!

      Your,
      Frierdly neighbor.

      Jul 31, 2008 at 4:29 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #36   GhostWriter bang

    Hey, Trash goes out ON EBAY SELLING RINGS every night & should be put out on the NUTTY EBAY SELLERS FORUM. HE’S CRAFTY; KNOWS HOW TO BET. Not against the house. You may want to invest in A RING for the FUTURE GIRLFRIEND or ask the SUPER of the building to do so.

    Thanks,
    Friendly Neighbor

    Jul 31, 2008 at 10:02 am   rating: 8  small thumbs up

     
  • #37   Goldie

    It puts the Trash out on its curb, or else it gets the note again!

    Jul 31, 2008 at 10:10 am   rating: 24  small thumbs up

    • #37.1   Timo bang

      Hey, hey now! Life is a garden. Dig it.

      Jul 31, 2008 at 4:09 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #37.2   Crash bang

      That’s awesome stuff man… 8)

      Jul 31, 2008 at 4:14 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #38   Sarjo

    OH. MY. GOD.

    Did anyone else notice that this happened on the SOUTH SIDE? Dan is secretly hoarding perfume or cologne or whatever it is and is NOT throwing it out. The scent…creeps towards…the NORTH SIDE OF THE OFFICE!

    Run!

    Jul 31, 2008 at 11:08 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #39   Al

    Dear Friendly Neighbor,

    My girlfriend’s name is Trish, not Trash, as you well know, and she is not a prostitute and thus does not belong on the curb among the garbage bins. Leave us alone, I don’t care how desperate you are on Tuesday nights.

    - Dan

    Jul 31, 2008 at 12:02 pm   rating: 13  small thumbs up

     
  • #40   lura

    To the South Side of the Apartment Building

    If you are hauling trash or garbage or whatever it is to the curb – I had to run to the bathroom to vomit – I will tremendously
    Appreciate if you minimize hauling it. Thank you so much.

    I was going to ask you since last week but I cannot stand it anymore. Thank you.

    Jul 31, 2008 at 12:15 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

     
  • #41   wright

    Hey, Trash goes out PARTYING LATE & should be put out on the CLOTHESLINE, Not against the house. You may want to invest in WINE GRAPES, YELLOW BEANS & HOOP HOUSES for the BEIJING OLYMPIC VILLAGE or ask the X-RAY TECHNICIAN of the building to do so. Thanks,
    Friendly Neighbor.

    I’ve rediscovered my love of Mad Libs! Thanks, Friendly Neighbor!

    Jul 31, 2008 at 3:18 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #41.1   Crash bang

      Damn, that’s just awesome :lol:

      Jul 31, 2008 at 3:43 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #42   GhostWriter bang

    Hey, Trash goes out WITH JULIO every night & should be put out on the ’88 CADDY COUPE DEVILLE, Not against the house. You may want to invest in POKEMON CARDS for the STARVING PUERTO RICAN CHILDREN or ask the OPRAH of the building to do so.

    Hey Diddley Ho,
    Friendly Flanders

    Jul 31, 2008 at 4:38 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #43   shonda little

    It’d be really great if he would maybe tape this note to the trash bag, which he would of course put by the house.

    Jul 31, 2008 at 8:24 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #44   KT

    This is classic…. the rules in the military community are very similar and I have done everything to avoid leaving nasty notes for my neighbor who never pulls her trash can in.

    The large green trashcan then makes its way in front of my driveway as the trash man gets sick of the woman leaving it out on the curb empty!

    So.. instead of a lovely PA note… I simply rolled it halfway into her driveway so she’d notice the next time she pulled in. It hasn’t fixed the problem, but it was hilarious when her boyfriend in his baby sh*t green mustang pulled in and hit it (on purpose I assume because you can see a 4 foot green trashcan from a block away).

    Aug 1, 2008 at 12:21 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #44.1   Tuesday

      Maybe the BF thought it was Yoda.

      Aug 1, 2008 at 6:04 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #44.2   Amy

      In which case, you go, BF.

      Aug 2, 2008 at 6:54 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #45   Russ

    The word “friendly” should also be underlined, no?

    http://death-sentences.blogspot.com/

    Aug 2, 2008 at 6:56 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #45.1   amy d bang

      Russ,
      You have that site linked to your name. People will click your name if they want to go there. You do not have to put it in every comment you make.

      Aug 2, 2008 at 7:03 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #45.2   Sirius bang

      Plus the fact that anyone who has gone there will recognize the site name and avoid it like — well, a death sentence.

      Aug 2, 2008 at 9:10 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #45.3   Canthz_B bang

      There’s something to be said about shameless self-promotion, I just don’t want to be the one to say it.

      Aug 2, 2008 at 9:27 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #45.4   aaa

      Well CB, it’s a scientifically proven fact that the desire to click a link increases tenfold each time it’s repeated.

      Aug 2, 2008 at 10:14 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #45.5   Canthz_B bang

      Really? I just get turned off by advertising. I’m strange like that.
      Anything “they” tell me I must have/do just makes me want/need it less.

      Aug 2, 2008 at 10:28 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #45.6   aaa

      Well, not really, which is why “they” don’t use it. “They” have researchers and Russ doesn’t. So “they” know not to use this method of attack and Russ doesn’t.

      Aug 3, 2008 at 8:30 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #46   mccormicky

    It’s all fun and games until trash is left against your building and not on the curb where you all know it belongs.And who is going to buy the trash cans? The prostitutes? I don’t think so.

    Aug 6, 2008 at 6:31 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #47   tilt your head upwards.

    [...] related: passive-aggressive mad libs [...]

    Jan 4, 2009 at 12:21 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     

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