“a few years back i was living in a halfway house in canberra where theft from the communal kitchen was a common problem,” writes alex in australia. “one morning we woke to discover that the fridge had gone missing.” (the coffee in question was stolen from a cupboard, but apparently the owner thought removing the fridge was the best form of attack.)
the fridge incident went unresolved for many months, alex says, because none of the residents could be bothered to move it back inside…and nobody had $3 to spare. in fact, he says, no one ever seemed all too concerned about the whole thing, explaining, “because we spent most of our money on vice, we had no food to put in the fridge anyway.”
eventually (long after alex moved out) the fridge was declared a traffic hazard, and a charity took it away.
related: um, rene hall?
215 responses so far ↓
#1
Katrina
I’m guessing the coffee WAS NOT decaf…
Jul 31, 2008 at 7:40 pm rating: +33
#2
catherine
a) what kind of coffee only costs three dollars?
b) It’s totally douchey but kind of admirable, just for the sheer amount of effort involved in moving that fridge and writing the note.
c) I would really like to hear the thought process behind this.
Jul 31, 2008 at 7:48 pm rating: +9
#3
j
that coffee was delicious.
Jul 31, 2008 at 8:01 pm rating: 0
#4
Canthz_B
“Charity” is a lovely young lady that lives down the lane and gives up he coochie for free, hence we call her “Charity”. We now keep our beer at her place.
Jul 31, 2008 at 8:14 pm rating: +13
#5
amy d
Wow. That’s a serious coffee drinker.
Jul 31, 2008 at 8:20 pm rating: +5
#6
Wade
Wait. Doesn’t that sign say, “STEAL MY COFFEE!!” ?
What’s the problem, then?
Jul 31, 2008 at 8:21 pm rating: +11
#7
Resident Grammarian esq
i) Doesn’t the culprit use the fridge as well?
ii) What would they have to steal for him to take himself outside?
Jul 31, 2008 at 8:26 pm rating: +2
#8
Canthz_B
Juan Valdez and his legendary Latin temper strike again!
Jul 31, 2008 at 8:27 pm rating: +20
#9
the coffee
“. . . I only ask to be free. The butterflies are free. Mankind will surely not deny to the coffee what it concedes to the butterflies.”
Jul 31, 2008 at 8:30 pm rating: +5
#10
Canthz_B
You just wouldn’t think that someone who would go with the word “compensated” would react this way, would you?
Behold he power of caffeine!
Jul 31, 2008 at 8:33 pm rating: +1
#11
Canthz_B
Are all halfway houses in Canberra hide-outs for villains from the original Batman TV series?
Jul 31, 2008 at 8:39 pm rating: +8
#12
se
damned refrigerator probably didn’t work anyway
Jul 31, 2008 at 9:00 pm rating: 0
#13
aaa
A few questions:
How the hell did they get the fridge out of the house by themself? Although it would make more sense if they were in a PCP rage at the time…
Why the hell did it take months for the fridge to be declared a traffic hazard? Maybe it’s just an Australia thing, but in suburban US (can’t vouch for other areas in the US), somebody would’ve bitched and the fridge would’ve been gone the same day. Maybe the next day if somebody was lazy.
What the hell does the fridge have to do with coffee? Unless they keep it in the fridge, then in that case, why not just remove the coffee? Seems like that would’ve saved a lot of effort. (Although that certainly doesn’t have the same shock value as a fridge in the street with PA-ness Sharpied on the side.)
What the hell kind of coffee costs $3? Even $3 Australian? It seems that they’re probably better off without.
And it seems that all of my questions can be answered with “They were living at a halfway house and were caught in the grip of their vices.” :/
Jul 31, 2008 at 9:08 pm rating: +6
#14
secondsout
Halfway house, eh? Was she transitioning out of jail for, say, violent crimes? Anger management issues? Just a guess.
Jul 31, 2008 at 9:14 pm rating: +3
#15
Josie
I bought a new fridge a couple years ago. I had to pay the company $40 in advance to take my old fridge away! I should’ve hired this guy! He’ll do it for $3.00 or a can of coffee.
Jul 31, 2008 at 9:15 pm rating: +17
#16
secondsout
So they spent their money on vice… OK… Wouldn’t you want to keep your booze chilled? Or does it not last long enough to worry about?
Jul 31, 2008 at 9:16 pm rating: +1
#17
Grade Ape
“One morning we woke to discover that the fridge had gone missing.”
I have a great mental video playing in my head: the culprit lying in bed… faking that he’s asleep… easing out of the room then down the hall… tip-toeing into the kitchen… wrapping rags around the furniture dolly (to dampen the noise)… carefully working the fridge out of the door…
Come on! Nobody woke up? Last time I moved a fridge by myself the entire neighborhood complained about the swearing!
Jul 31, 2008 at 9:16 pm rating: +7
#18
secondsout
If the feeming coffee fanatic knows who the coffee thief is, why not something a little more direct? Like a knife to the person’s throat in the middle of the night.
Jul 31, 2008 at 9:18 pm rating: +5
#19
Kymbos
Hmm, is this technically passive aggressive? It seems pretty ‘active’ agressive, if you know what I mean. If I’d stolen this guy’s coffee, I’d be worried that he’d come at me in the night.
Jul 31, 2008 at 9:21 pm rating: +5
#20
ama
no coffee until you pay me….one billion dollars!!! mwahaha. mwahahahaha.
Jul 31, 2008 at 9:30 pm rating: +9
#21
ama
damn. i knew i should have caught that refrigerator when it was running.
Jul 31, 2008 at 9:33 pm rating: +24
#22
James from Melbourne
