Bleak House

July 31st, 2008 · 219 comments

“A few years back I was living in a halfway house in Canberra where theft from the communal kitchen was a common problem,” writes Alex in Australia. “One morning we woke to discover that the fridge had gone missing.” (The coffee in question was stolen from a cupboard, but apparently the owner thought removing the fridge was the best form of attack.)

STEAL MY COFFEE!! NO MORE. NO FRIDGE UNTIL I AM COMPENSATED $3.00 SUNDAY, 8-8-04 U KNOW WHO YOU ARE

The fridge incident went unresolved for many months, Alex says, because none of the residents could be bothered to move it back inside…and nobody had $3 to spare. In fact, he says, no one ever seemed all too concerned about the whole thing, explaining, “because we spent most of our money on vice, we had no food to put in the fridge anyway.”

Eventually (long afterAlex moved out) the fridge was declared a traffic hazard, and a charity took it away.

related: Um, Rene Hall?

FILED UNDER: actions speak louder · Australia · Canberra · CAPS LOCK · fridge · money · questionable logic · roommates · stealing · You call that punctuation? · you know who you are


219 responses so far ↓

  • #1   Katrina

    I’m guessing the coffee WAS NOT decaf…

    Jul 31, 2008 at 7:40 pm   rating: 38  small thumbs up

    • #1.1   Fla Boy

      Got milk?

      Jul 31, 2008 at 10:38 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #2   catherine

    a) what kind of coffee only costs three dollars?
    b) It’s totally douchey but kind of admirable, just for the sheer amount of effort involved in moving that fridge and writing the note.
    c) I would really like to hear the thought process behind this.

    Jul 31, 2008 at 7:48 pm   rating: 14  small thumbs up

    • #2.1   Uh Huh

      I don’t think that exceptional coping and reasoning skills are what land most people in a halfway house.

      Aug 1, 2008 at 8:52 am   rating: 23  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.2   agirlie

      yeah, that’s kinda what I was thinking. Can anyone say mental illness?

      Aug 1, 2008 at 5:11 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #3   j

    that coffee was delicious.

    Jul 31, 2008 at 8:01 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #3.1   snee

      or rather: that coffee was FUCKING DELICIOUS TO THE LAST DROP!

      c’mon. no guts, no glory.

      (okay, now where did i put that unitard?)

      Aug 1, 2008 at 2:00 am   rating: 14  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #4   Canthz_B bang

    “Charity” is a lovely young lady that lives down the lane and gives up he coochie for free, hence we call her “Charity”. We now keep our beer at her place.

    Jul 31, 2008 at 8:14 pm   rating: 15  small thumbs up

    • #4.1   Canthz_B bang

      That’s “the coochie”

      Jul 31, 2008 at 8:26 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.2   Mandroid

      her coochie would have fit just as well and would’ve worked twice as well.

      Aug 1, 2008 at 2:00 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.3   Uh Huh

      But I totally wanted to spend the morning figuring our what a HE coochie was. :-( fail.

      Aug 1, 2008 at 8:55 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.4   Kev Orng

      @Uh Huh. Like Manboobs, only lower. And probably drier.

      That would be my guess.

      Aug 1, 2008 at 9:02 am   rating: 12  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.5   Timo bang

      Moobs and Penoochie!

      Aug 1, 2008 at 10:13 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.6   Kev Orng

      Well, it is a penal colony

      Aug 1, 2008 at 11:23 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.7   Canthz_B bang

      Mandroid, when you tell a joke use whatever words you like best.
      Where I’m from we say “the coochie” when referring to giving it up. I would have used “her coochie” if I were describing it.
      As in: “My date with Mary went well last night. I was going to get the coochie, but her coochie has a yeast infection.”
      Thanks for caring. :-)

      Aug 1, 2008 at 3:43 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #5   amy d bang

    Wow. That’s a serious coffee drinker.

    Jul 31, 2008 at 8:20 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

    • #5.1   ama

      wait til he hears his neighborhood Starbucks is closing.

      *shudders at imminent wreckage*

      Aug 1, 2008 at 2:36 pm   rating: 11  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #6   Wade bang

    Wait. Doesn’t that sign say, “STEAL MY COFFEE!!” ?

    What’s the problem, then?

    Jul 31, 2008 at 8:21 pm   rating: 14  small thumbs up

    • #6.1   ama

      Steal my coffee… … … … NOTTTTT.

      Aug 1, 2008 at 7:28 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.2   RandyinReno

      …!!
      no more

      Aug 1, 2008 at 2:19 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #7   Resident Grammarian esq bang

    i) Doesn’t the culprit use the fridge as well?
    ii) What would they have to steal for him to take himself outside?

    Jul 31, 2008 at 8:26 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #8   Canthz_B bang

    Juan Valdez and his legendary Latin temper strike again!

    Jul 31, 2008 at 8:27 pm   rating: 22  small thumbs up

    • #8.1   Timo bang

      Juan’s next act of terror would redefine “Donkey show”.

      Aug 1, 2008 at 10:15 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #9   the coffee

    “. . . I only ask to be free. The butterflies are free. Mankind will surely not deny to the coffee what it concedes to the butterflies.”

    Jul 31, 2008 at 8:30 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

     
  • #10   Canthz_B bang

    You just wouldn’t think that someone who would go with the word “compensated” would react this way, would you?
    Behold he power of caffeine!

    Jul 31, 2008 at 8:33 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #10.1   zombieBlanco bang

      That’s “the power”.

      :wink:

      Jul 31, 2008 at 8:46 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #10.2   Canthz_B bang

      Damned if I didn’t do it again. I have gentle fingers! ;-)

      Jul 31, 2008 at 8:54 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #10.3   trite

      I bet you say that to all the girls.

      Aug 1, 2008 at 8:55 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #10.4   Red Letterboxer bang

      He had A LOT to say. That’s why he didn’t just use the colorful ABC kitchen magnets. Never mind the exclamation points and underlining. There’s only so much you can do with those little things.

      Aug 1, 2008 at 2:42 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #10.5   ama

      i’ve never seen an ABC magnet dollar sign. but, kids should be worried about things like money…and the economies.

      Aug 1, 2008 at 2:47 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #11   Canthz_B bang

    Are all halfway houses in Canberra hide-outs for villains from the original Batman TV series?

    Jul 31, 2008 at 8:39 pm   rating: 12  small thumbs up

    • #11.1   aaa

      If you look really hard, you can see Cesar Romero in the window putting more white makeup over his mustache.

      Jul 31, 2008 at 9:13 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.2   Kev Orng

      No, because then it would say “Who’s the Joker who stole my coffee?”

      On the other hand, this dude probably had a couple of masked henchmen to help move this fridge outside.

      Aug 1, 2008 at 8:51 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.3   Timo bang

      OH no it is the work of the Kelvinator!
      Quick Robin to the Batmobile.

      *ZAP!* POW!* OOF!*

      Aug 1, 2008 at 10:17 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.4   anglophile bang

      Holy Café au Lait, Batman!

      Aug 1, 2008 at 2:42 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.5   Timo bang

      “Alfred having had enough of Batman’s condescension and Robin short sheeting his bed tossed the Batcomputer in the road and ran off with Race Bannon.”

      Aug 1, 2008 at 7:52 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.6   Canthz_B bang

      That was okay, but Race shouldn’t have taken Bandit!

      Aug 1, 2008 at 8:01 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.7   Timo bang

      There was a bond between Bandit and Race that even Benton didn’t understand. Besides hadji was eyeing Bandit in a way that spelled trouble.

      Aug 1, 2008 at 8:23 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.8   Canthz_B bang

      Spelled trouble and smelled of curry.

      Aug 1, 2008 at 10:17 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #12   se

    damned refrigerator probably didn’t work anyway

    Jul 31, 2008 at 9:00 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #13   aaa

    A few questions:

    How the hell did they get the fridge out of the house by themself? Although it would make more sense if they were in a PCP rage at the time…

    Why the hell did it take months for the fridge to be declared a traffic hazard? Maybe it’s just an Australia thing, but in suburban US (can’t vouch for other areas in the US), somebody would’ve bitched and the fridge would’ve been gone the same day. Maybe the next day if somebody was lazy.

    What the hell does the fridge have to do with coffee? Unless they keep it in the fridge, then in that case, why not just remove the coffee? Seems like that would’ve saved a lot of effort. (Although that certainly doesn’t have the same shock value as a fridge in the street with PA-ness Sharpied on the side.)

    What the hell kind of coffee costs $3? Even $3 Australian? It seems that they’re probably better off without.

    And it seems that all of my questions can be answered with “They were living at a halfway house and were caught in the grip of their vices.” :/

    Jul 31, 2008 at 9:08 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

    • #13.1   meagz

      It’s Canberra. It took them 4 years to build a main road, and even then they only built half of it.

      Aug 1, 2008 at 4:18 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #13.2   trite

      Where I live, that fridge wouldn’t have lasted 48 hours. Random appliance in street/driveway/yard = FREE.

      Aug 1, 2008 at 8:58 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #13.3   park rose bang

      To 13.1, that’s nothing. Took sixty years before a permanent parliament house was built and ready for use.
      :D

      Aug 1, 2008 at 9:13 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #13.4   aaa

      Well meagz, I guess this is one good reason for the US to be an overall entitled-ass place. Although being entitled only gets shit done if the other party wants to cooperate. There’s one stretch of interstate not too far from me that’s been under construction for over a year with no apparent progress and is really fucking dangerous since the lanes are now really narrow, the signs for the exits are placed so you don’t see them until right when you need to exit, and there’s no room for merging when you get off the onramps. There’s no way that people don’t complain about it all the time.

      BTW meagz, the stuff in your Etsy store is really fucking cute.

      Aug 1, 2008 at 9:01 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #14   secondsout bang

    Halfway house, eh? Was she transitioning out of jail for, say, violent crimes? Anger management issues? Just a guess.

    Jul 31, 2008 at 9:14 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #15   Josie

    I bought a new fridge a couple years ago. I had to pay the company $40 in advance to take my old fridge away! I should’ve hired this guy! He’ll do it for $3.00 or a can of coffee.

    Jul 31, 2008 at 9:15 pm   rating: 19  small thumbs up

     
  • #16   secondsout bang

    So they spent their money on vice… OK… Wouldn’t you want to keep your booze chilled? Or does it not last long enough to worry about?

    Jul 31, 2008 at 9:16 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #16.1   Uh Huh

      I just couldn’t see some guy in a halfway house not drinking a beer because it was warm. Oh my goodness, it just wrecks the malty flavor!. Not so much.

      Aug 1, 2008 at 9:00 am   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
    • #16.2   Canberra is Awesome

      Booze is not a vice in Australia. It is a dietary staple.

      Aug 6, 2008 at 3:42 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #17   Grade Ape

    “One morning we woke to discover that the fridge had gone missing.”

    I have a great mental video playing in my head: the culprit lying in bed… faking that he’s asleep… easing out of the room then down the hall… tip-toeing into the kitchen… wrapping rags around the furniture dolly (to dampen the noise)… carefully working the fridge out of the door…

    Come on! Nobody woke up? Last time I moved a fridge by myself the entire neighborhood complained about the swearing!

    Jul 31, 2008 at 9:16 pm   rating: 11  small thumbs up

    • #17.1   Canthz_B bang

      Levitation is a good thing!

      Jul 31, 2008 at 9:39 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
    • #17.2   Jess

      Ahh, but think about it for a moment:
      It was probably Saturday night, because the fridge is dated Sunday, and since they spent all their money on vice anyway, they were probably passed out in alcoholic stupor!

      Aug 1, 2008 at 10:13 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #18   secondsout bang

    If the feeming coffee fanatic knows who the coffee thief is, why not something a little more direct? Like a knife to the person’s throat in the middle of the night.

    Jul 31, 2008 at 9:18 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

     
  • #19   Kymbos

    Hmm, is this technically passive aggressive? It seems pretty ‘active’ agressive, if you know what I mean. If I’d stolen this guy’s coffee, I’d be worried that he’d come at me in the night.

    Jul 31, 2008 at 9:21 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

    • #19.1   Canthz_B bang

      That’s what makes it passive aggressive. The scrawled message saying “I know who you are” is made the lie because if he knew he would not have dragged the fridge outside. He would have dragged the coffee thief.

      Jul 31, 2008 at 9:43 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #19.2   trite

      Did anyone check to see if the coffee thief had been stuffed IN the fridge?

      Aug 1, 2008 at 8:59 am   rating: 21  small thumbs up

       
    • #19.3   octavius

      He says “U know who you are”. Usually this is a statement of the obvious, though perhaps not in the context of a half way house.

      Aug 1, 2008 at 6:42 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #20   ama

    no coffee until you pay me….one billion dollars!!! mwahaha. mwahahahaha.

    Jul 31, 2008 at 9:30 pm   rating: 11  small thumbs up

     
  • #21   ama

    damn. i knew i should have caught that refrigerator when it was running.

    Jul 31, 2008 at 9:33 pm   rating: 30  small thumbs up

    • #21.1   Shane

      *ring “Hello”

      “…hehehehe, is your refrigerator running….?”

      “Well, no. It’s actually outside in the street, waiting on someone to replenish the coffee”.

      “huh?” *click

      Aug 1, 2008 at 11:42 am   rating: 13  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #22   James from Melbourne

    Some background:
    In Australia, when someone steals something of yours, it is common practice to wheel a large kitchen appliance belonging to the culprit into the front yard. You steal someone’s bag, they drag your oven outside. You forget to give a pen back, they make your dishwasher (wife) sit outside in the rain.
    Hope that clears things up! *citation needed*

    Jul 31, 2008 at 10:32 pm   rating: 61  small thumbs up

    • #22.1   Rae from the other Melbourne

      I am cracking up. I am dying laughing. The idea of that actually happening just made my night.

      Aug 1, 2008 at 1:24 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #22.2   bronwynn

      BAHAHAHA.

      I lol’d.

      Such a common practice in the berra :)

      Aug 2, 2008 at 9:15 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #23   Canthz_B bang

    “We don’t need no stinkin’ fridges!”

    Jul 31, 2008 at 10:41 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #24   richard

    “U know who you are?”

    Interesting choice to use shorthand for the first “you,” but not the second. Or the “are.”

    “U know who U R!!”

    Jul 31, 2008 at 10:50 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #24.1   TygerAKC bang

      Even better would have been:

      “U NO who UR!!”

      Aug 1, 2008 at 11:05 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #24.2   morpho aurora bang

      U NO HU UR?

      nope, i don’t. i haven’t had my coffee yet.

      Aug 1, 2008 at 6:52 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #24.3   Canthz_B bang

      Hell, I haven’t even had your coffee yet!

      Aug 1, 2008 at 7:06 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #24.4   morpho aurora bang

      ya wanna? i’m a very generous person! ;)

      Aug 1, 2008 at 8:58 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #25   Sheepish bang

    The coffee thief walks into the kitchen and notices the fridge is gone.
    “hey, where’s my fridge?” he asks.
    Out of the doorway a man with a skinny mustache jumps, “Ah Ha!” he exclaims, “I took your fridge and moved it into the common area.”
    “um, okay, why?”
    “you took my coffee! now you will pay me three dollars and I will move the fridge back.”
    “no, that’s okay, I didn’t really use it anyway.”
    “can you help me move the fridge back?”
    “nope”

    Jul 31, 2008 at 11:35 pm   rating: 22  small thumbs up

    • #25.1   ama

      The coffee thief walks into the kitchen… Ow.

      is the man with the skinny mustache going to tie the fridge to the train tracks? OH NO! Stay tuned next week for the Adventures of… The Brew Baron

      Aug 1, 2008 at 2:25 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #26   Southern Girl

    $3.00 vs. no fridge for 3 months? Wow.

    Jul 31, 2008 at 11:44 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #27   booge

    This story makes me sad.

    Jul 31, 2008 at 11:53 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #27.1   ama

      i agree. such a sad, ludicrous story. could have ended with “…and then he died.”

      Aug 1, 2008 at 2:23 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #27.2   booge

      Never mind. Today this story makes me smile. Does that mean there’s something wrong with me? Which drug do I need to ask my doctor about?

      Aug 1, 2008 at 9:18 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #28   Agent Inspired

    What the (note writer? fridge mover? Batman?) should have done was spiked the coffee with something entirely unpleasant, perhaps a laxitive.

    Then put a lock on the bathroom door and left a note to see Casey in Human Resources for the key.

    Jul 31, 2008 at 11:58 pm   rating: 11  small thumbs up

     
  • #29   KT

    The date drives me crazy… was this the day of his monumental fridge moving experience, the date of the coffee disappearance, or the money due date?

    Maybe he’s ticked he didn’t have the coffee to pump him up for some Olympic training four years from 8-8-04…….New for the 8-8-08 Beijing Olympic Games….. Refrigerator thieving!

    Aug 1, 2008 at 12:15 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #29.1   durian

      “A few years back…”

      The dates in Australia generally go day/month/year, so I’d say 8th of August, 2004.

      Aug 1, 2008 at 4:16 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #29.2   anglophile bang

      huh, that’s good to know, because I was reflexively reading the date as month/day/year, which would make it 8th of August, 2004.

      ;)

      Aug 1, 2008 at 5:11 am   rating: 19  small thumbs up

       
    • #29.3   Canthz_B bang

      Your point is what, durian? :???:

      Aug 1, 2008 at 5:25 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #29.4   secondsout bang

      Oh, come on, CB and Glo, it’s a joke, and a clever one at that.

      In the meantime, refrigerator thieving might have been a joke, but here’s some footage of the competition.

      Aug 1, 2008 at 12:31 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #30   jn

    I am very amused that the RSS feed for this entry tacks on an advert for a coffeemaker.

    Aug 1, 2008 at 12:36 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #31   bean bang

    wow. I hate when roommates steal food, but there is no way in HELL that I would move a refrigerator for it…at least not without a cup of coffee first.

    Aug 1, 2008 at 12:46 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

    • #31.1   Crash bang

      Kind’a makes you wonder if he could really move that thing without a cup of coffee…
      And if he can…
      Well…maybe that’s why his coffee’s missing in the first place.

      Aug 1, 2008 at 1:38 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #31.2   aaa

      Moving appliances into the street is the Australian thing to do. In the US, the convention is to hide cameras in strategic locations and have the footage upload directly to both your computer and your cell phone. When you confront your thieving bastard of a roommate, you present them with a bill for the exact amounts of food they’ve eaten (that means you should invest in an accurate scale) and then sue them the next day for nonpayment. It would help to get a lawyer who can help you come up with a convincing argument and official documents (like a cease and desist).

      Aug 2, 2008 at 7:13 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #31.3   aaa

      In America, roommates steal food. In Soviet Russia, there is no food!

      Aug 2, 2008 at 7:18 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #32   jadefirefly

    In Arizona, that fridge would have been picked up by four guys in a pick-up truck before sundown the same day.

    Aug 1, 2008 at 1:00 am   rating: 9  small thumbs up

    • #32.1   Quite Contrary bang

      Just Arizona?

      Aug 1, 2008 at 1:52 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #32.2   amazon bang

      In California, some dumb little kid would have locked himself into it, suffocated, and the parents would have sued the guy who moved the fridge, the people who ran the half-way house, the city for not taking care of it sooner, the fridge manufacturer for not installing a door handle on the inside, and the guy who stole the coffee for causing this whole mess.

      Aug 1, 2008 at 2:48 am   rating: 49  small thumbs up

       
    • #32.3   anglophile bang

      In Wisconsin, he would have moved the fridge out to the garage and kept his beer in it.

      Aug 1, 2008 at 5:13 am   rating: 18  small thumbs up

       
    • #32.4   Zsa bang

      In Oregon we would have just put the coffee thief to death- screw moving appliances. Kill them all if you cant figure out which one did it. Dont mess with the caffiene freaks in the PNW!

      Aug 1, 2008 at 6:29 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #32.5   Kev Orng

      In Ontario we would have lifted up our heads long enough to comment to a stranger that the line at Tim Hortons is a little slow this morning.

      Aug 1, 2008 at 8:57 am   rating: 14  small thumbs up

       
    • #32.6   Troy McClure bang

      In Wellington that fridge would fall over—the only flat ground is indoors.

      Aug 1, 2008 at 9:04 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #32.7   claw71 bang

      In Soviet Russia, that fridge puts you on the street.

      Aug 1, 2008 at 9:20 am   rating: 26  small thumbs up

       
    • #32.8   claw71 bang

      In LA it would have been tagged with gang signs by now.

      In New York the cops would have shot it 56 times.

      In West Virginia somebody would have put it up on cinder blocks.

      In Washington DC a congressional committee would have been formed to investigate if performance enahncing substances were used by the person who moved the fridge, meanwhile the Department of Homeland Security would have issued a sienna alert to address the issue of the missing coffee. George Bush would immediately schedule a vacation to Crawford and Dick Cheney would go “hunting” while the CIA doctored evidence proving that Iran stole the coffee to trade it for noo-cue-lur secrets. Then we would invade Venzuela to hunt for Juan Valdez.

      Aug 1, 2008 at 9:30 am   rating: 40  small thumbs up

       
    • #32.9   chick bang

      in cairo, that fridge would have been loaded onto a donkey cart and trotted away before it was covered in dirt – aka within two minutes.

      Aug 1, 2008 at 9:41 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #32.10   ama

      In Anchorage, Alaska, Ted Stevens recently kicked this fridge to the curb, even though it was an expensive house-cooling* gift from Al Gore.

      *Al Gore doesn’t believe in house-warming.

      Aug 1, 2008 at 9:43 am   rating: 15  small thumbs up

       
    • #32.11   Cowgirlgraphics

      In New Jersey we would have used the fridge to bury the body of somebody who got whacked by the mob.

      Aug 1, 2008 at 9:44 am   rating: 11  small thumbs up

       
    • #32.12   Troy McClure bang

      In London, people would walk past it for seven months with gazes determinedly averted, and then be all “oh my, where did that come from?” when the council finally came to take it away.

      In Christchurch it would be covered in glitter glue and fun fur in no time.

      Aug 1, 2008 at 9:51 am   rating: 18  small thumbs up

       
    • #32.13   Bellabeastie

      In Ohio someone would have turned that fridge on it’s side and planted flowers in it.

      Home & Garden Trailer Park style.

      Aug 1, 2008 at 9:52 am   rating: 15  small thumbs up

       
    • #32.14   mitre

      In Chicago, someone would have seen the Virgin Mary in a stain in that fridge and a bunch of people would have built a shrine around it.

      Aug 1, 2008 at 9:53 am   rating: 13  small thumbs up

       
    • #32.15   Troy McClure bang

      If the Virgin Mary is still kicking around somewhere, I hope she is in a fridge.

      Aug 1, 2008 at 9:56 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #32.16   Punky Punkster

      In Candyland we would have ripped off the door, turned the fridge into a peppermint canoe and paddled around our milk chocolate river in it.

      Aug 1, 2008 at 10:00 am   rating: 21  small thumbs up

       
    • #32.17   Quite Contrary bang

      In Orange County, someone would be living in it by now and blaming it all on their house being foreclosed.

      Aug 1, 2008 at 10:31 am   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
    • #32.18   claw71 bang

      In Australia they would have…oh…

      Aug 1, 2008 at 10:48 am   rating: 22  small thumbs up

       
    • #32.19   JSpicoli

      In Humboldt someone would have turned that fridge on its side and planted “flowers” in it.

      Home & Garden Stoner style.

      Aug 1, 2008 at 11:19 am   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
    • #32.20   CremeBrulee

      In Boulder, after the city council was inundated with complaints of cruelty to refrigerators, the council would pass an ordinance that “owners” of appliances are now to be referred to as “guardians.” The appliance guardian guilty of this crime would be fined and required to view a video on proper care and treatment of appliances. Still irate about the loss of his coffee, he would be told to try yoga, instead. Meanwhile, a benefit 5k run would be organized to raise money to help restore the refrigerator to a more meaningful life.

      Aug 1, 2008 at 11:53 am   rating: 16  small thumbs up

       
    • #32.21   Transfixus

      Ref 32.10

      In Fairbanks, Alaska this would have been taken across the street to my neighbor’s yard and covered with a blue tarp. You never know when junk will come in handy.

      Aug 1, 2008 at 2:49 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
    • #32.22   fink

      In New Orleans, we’d steal it to make a boat and then loot the rest of the house.

      Aug 1, 2008 at 4:51 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #32.23   Canthz_B bang

      In Havana they’d make the fridge a boat and head for Florida.

      Aug 1, 2008 at 5:00 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #32.24   octavius

      In Baghdad it would be a skilfully disguised Weapons of Mass Destruction storage unit, accurately identified by satellite surveillance and Dick Cheney.

      Aug 1, 2008 at 8:30 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #32.25   Caitlin

      In Dunedin, someone would move into it, because it would be warmer than their flat.

      Aug 1, 2008 at 8:59 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #32.26   Bilbo

      In Middle-earth we join in reply chains that have well and truly run their course.

      Aug 2, 2008 at 1:44 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #32.27   Troy McClure bang

      In Rockhampton, students would glue concrete bull testicles to it.

      Bilbo, we’ll be able to tell when it’s run its course, because a new note will appear.

      Aug 2, 2008 at 2:24 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #32.28   Tuesday

      In Boston, someone would walk up to it and write “Yankees Suck” all over it. Then, when he and his buddies get drunk one night, they go back, load it up in the truck, drive it down to NYC and leave it in front of Yankee Stadium.

      When they talked about it a few days later, after sobering up and reading the news articles, they’d comment to each other that they were all “freakin’ retahded” for doing something so dumb.

      When they got drunk again that Friday night, they’d be bragging about it.

      Aug 3, 2008 at 3:02 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #32.29   graphicandnovel bang

      In Tennessee, someone would have stripped it for parts and THEN put it up on cinderblocks. Or used it for a house for their coondog. All of the above would have occurred before dark that day.

      Feb 11, 2009 at 11:41 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #33   Quite Contrary bang

    If you didn’t want me to steal your coffee, might you hide, say, the coffeemaker or, even better, the coffee??

    I’m just sayin…

    Aug 1, 2008 at 1:51 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

    • #33.1   Kev Orng

      Speaking from experience, I would have hidden the coffee.

      But then, I don’t have Zombie Jesus to guard it for me. And obviously, neither do half-way house residents.

      Aug 1, 2008 at 9:04 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #34   Zoe

    And this is why I love that Canberra is Australia’s capital. So very fitting.

    Aug 1, 2008 at 4:07 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #34.1   park rose bang

      I keep thinking this somehow validates CB’s comment at 11 :)

      Aug 1, 2008 at 9:15 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #34.2   claw71 bang

      Did you know that 3 out of 7 Aussies think that Sydney is the capial of Australia? 2 out of 5 insist that it’s Melbourne.

      Aug 1, 2008 at 10:52 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #34.3   Kev Orng

      Claw, that’s just what they tell Americans in case you guys ever try to invade.
      The same reason we let you guys think Toronto is the capitol of Canada. :-) Bombs away!

      Aug 1, 2008 at 11:21 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #34.4   claw71 bang

      Why would anybody need to bomb Canada? Are the world’s maple syrup reserves threatened?

      If you want to take control of Canada just walk right into the Prime Ministers office during hockey night and start making decisions.

      Aug 1, 2008 at 11:55 am   rating: 25  small thumbs up

       
    • #34.5   Kev Orng

      Note to self: Raise price of oil exports to US.

      Aug 1, 2008 at 12:03 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #34.6   ama

      shoot, i thought the capital of australia was new zealand! and the capital of new zealand is middle earth. middle earth’s capital is my pinky toe.

      Aug 1, 2008 at 2:54 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #35   meagz

    Does the fridge have RPG stats on the front of it?

    Aug 1, 2008 at 4:21 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #35.1   Phalange

      I’m guessing the fridge has a +2 bonus to dexterity, given that it was able to sneak out of the house without anyone knowing.

      Aug 1, 2008 at 7:28 am   rating: 19  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #36   RALPHY

    I’m really mystified by how a fridge can survive, sitting outside unattended. Hell, in my neighborhood, you leave something outside–gone the next morning without even a thank you note or a can of coffee.

    Aug 1, 2008 at 7:28 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #36.1   Uh Huh

      Maybe they were confident that the worst part of the neighborhood was living in the halfway house so if anyone in the neighborhood stole it, it would at worst just end up back in the kitchen. *hums its a small world after all*

      Aug 1, 2008 at 9:11 am   rating: 10  small thumbs up

       
    • #36.2   Celia

      “Hmm, this is a nice fridge, and we don’t have one… hmm… I know! I’ll take this and put it it in our kitchen!”

      Aug 1, 2008 at 12:16 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #37   Kev Orng

    “That’s not passive aggressive… This is passive aggressive.”
    - Crocodile Dundee

    Aug 1, 2008 at 8:59 am   rating: 14  small thumbs up

     
  • #38   Sheepish bang

    “aaarg! someone stole my coffee. I’m pretty sure it was Bill. I need to write a note to let him know that I know he took it and then I can be compensated for the coffee in a prompt manner. Now, how best to go about this? Where are the post it notes? I can’t find any sort of paper products anywhere so that I can fashion a note to relay my anger at the disappearance of my coffee! Arrrggg! Now I’m Getting Angry! I Just Want To Write A Note! What To Do!?!?! I’ve Got It! THE FRIDGE!!! And then I’ll move it outside so that he has to walk around it and he’ll notice the note and give me $3.00 and then I’ll put the fridge back. What a great plan!”

    Aug 1, 2008 at 9:08 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

    • #38.1   Kev Orng

      ha ha!

      I think paper is banned along with other weapons in halfway houses.

      “I gonna papercut you so bad…”

      Aug 1, 2008 at 9:15 am   rating: 9  small thumbs up

       
    • #38.2   meagz

      Couldn’t you class the fridge as a weapon too?

      Aug 1, 2008 at 10:13 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #39   claw71 bang

    If he pulls a knife, you pull a gun…if he sends one of your guys to the hospital, you send one of his to the morgue…if he takes your coffee, you take the fridge.

    Aug 1, 2008 at 9:17 am   rating: 18  small thumbs up

     
  • #40   claw71 bang

    Dude must have had a pretty sweet stash in that cheap ass coffee.

    Aug 1, 2008 at 9:19 am   rating: 8  small thumbs up

    • #40.1   morpho aurora bang

      that’s pretty much the only use i can think of for cheap ass coffee – usually no one will touch it.

      Aug 1, 2008 at 9:01 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #41   Stringyhair

    That’s just too much effort… Move fridge – check, Find big black marker- check. Write scrawling message from different positions – check. Dang, just steal a pack of oatmeal, a Ramen and a packet of grape Koolaid and move on.

    Aug 1, 2008 at 9:19 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #41.1   fink

      Those three things combined are still worth less than that dude’s $3 coffee. You’d have to steal like 10 of each.

      Aug 1, 2008 at 4:57 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #42   Garcy

    ..”In California, some dumb little kid would have locked himself into it, suffocated, and the parents would have sued the guy who moved the fridge, the people who ran the half-way house, the city for not taking care of it sooner, the fridge manufacturer for not installing a door handle on the inside, and the guy who stole the coffee for causing this whole mess.”

    There are people who procreate just for this purpose – the kids are disposable, and the funds they collect from spurious child endangerment lawsuits are quite immense.

    At least, it seems that way – but then I’ve been watching Fox news too much.

    Aug 1, 2008 at 9:37 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #42.1   Shane

      happens in Texas too.

      Aug 1, 2008 at 11:41 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #43   Ryan

    Whoa, mate.

    Aug 1, 2008 at 10:01 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #44   GhostWriter bang

    It was probably Chock-full-o’-Nuts.

    I mean the coffee.

    Aug 1, 2008 at 10:07 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

     
  • #45   Woman on the Verge

    On the other side it says, “Kindly deposit the $3 in this receptacle and return it to the kitchen and no other appliances will be hurt.”

    Aug 1, 2008 at 10:13 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #46   Quite Contrary bang

    Today I am starting all my stories with “when I lived in a halfway house” and ending them with “then my roommate moved out to join a cult.”

    Aug 1, 2008 at 10:29 am   rating: 17  small thumbs up

     
  • #47   Quite Contrary bang

    Sadly, this refrigerator incident was just the beginning of Ed McMahon’s desperate slide.

    Aug 1, 2008 at 10:36 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #48   GhostWriter bang

    …then St. Peter came to the can of coffee. “How did you die,” he asked?
    “Well, I was minding my own business, keeping fresh in the freezer, when some guy threw the fridge out on the curb and spoiled me.”

    …I’m still working onthe rest of the joke.

    Aug 1, 2008 at 10:43 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #49   claw71 bang

    I’m holding out hope that the guy who did this was halfway in rather than halfway out of an institution. Sure, we’re all having a good chuckle over this post but think about it for a minute…do you want this guy out in society roaming around?

    Scrawling on the fridge is one thing but having enough rage on tap to move it out to the middle of the street is quite another. This is the passive aggressive behavior of a maniac. It’s beyond irrational. I’m an imaginative guy and I’ve indulged my anger to unaccpetable degrees but never in my wildest dreams could I have ever thought of something like this. On my worst day I might have smashed all the coffee cups to spite the whoever was involved in stealing my joe but that’s it.

    If somebody had stolen his toothpate would the toilet have ended up in the yard? If his sneakers turned up missing would he have hacked off the feet of everybody in the house? If somebody forgets his birthday will he climb to the top of the clock tower and start shooting?

    I’m really glad this is in Australia. No offense to the mates down under but better you than me. In the States we get upset at the incompetence of our government. Criminals slip through the cracks and innocent people go to jail but we don’t have halfway houses where somebody is going to get away with hauling a full-sized Frigidaire out to the middle of the street.

    Yeah, we let our priests get away with molesting little boys, our congressmen like gay sex and it’s OK if our Vice President shoots somebody in the face once in a while but we know where to draw the line.

    Aug 1, 2008 at 10:44 am   rating: 18  small thumbs up

     
  • #50   claw71 bang

    The fridge tried to hitch a ride far away from that stupid halfway house but, alas, he had no thumbs.

    Aug 1, 2008 at 10:54 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

    • #50.1   APFDF

      Given it was obviously stuck at the curb and struggling to continue its escape to freedom, how would the fridge have reacted to the “Quo Vadis” question? Maybe it wasn’t taken away for 3 months because it couldn’t be taken away…

      I like the way two different markers were used. No obstacles.

      BTW our mental health setup is pretty abysmal. I have two relatives officially diagnosed by Australian standards as several bricks short of a load (one actually is textbook bipolar passive-aggressive, the other is best left described as such) and I’ve learnt quite a lot about our setup in the last few years. Apparently in the good old days we were right up there on the cutting/electrocuting edge of psychiatric interference in people’s lives.

      Now, and in all seriousness, the halfway house system (this fridge episode being an example) is being dismantled because it’s perceived surplus to requirements. So they’re either institutionalised temporarily, back on the streets, or in gaol/jail (that’s the rapidly-unfolding/unravelling plan anyway).

      Some perspective though. You have 1% of your population behind bars. 100% of our population used to be behind bars, it’s now well below 1%, and we’re now seeing how close to zero we can take it before other key metrics like murder, suicide, burglary, assault rates spike.

      Aug 1, 2008 at 9:56 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #50.2   Canthz_B bang

      Bipolar Disorder = Manic-Depressive Disorder (296.0 thru 296.89 codes under the International Classification of Diseases), not Passive-Aggressive Personality Disorder (301.84).
      Someone here is several bricks short of a load…and it’s not me!

      Aug 2, 2008 at 3:12 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #50.3   Canthz_B bang

      ECT (Electro-Convulsive Therapy) is actually still used and very effective in treating persons suffering from depression, but rarely used until after all save drug therapies have been tried.
      In any event, it is hardly fair to call it “electrocution” since that means killing by use of electricity, not treatment of a mental condition.

      Aug 2, 2008 at 3:31 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #50.4   APFDF

      Thanks for the clarifications. Good work.

      Aug 2, 2008 at 11:10 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #51   Woman on the Verge bang

    Aha! claw71, you have cracked the case! The guy wanted to move so he cleverly put the fridge in the street where it was moved at public expense. He then followed it and is quite happily living in it… well away from coffee bandits.

    Aug 1, 2008 at 11:08 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #52   Journal of Social awkwardness

    you now someone is mad where there is both double underlining and exclamation marks…yikes!

    Aug 1, 2008 at 11:12 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #52.1   Kev Orng

      You now! Someone is mad!
      Where?
      There!
      Is both double underlining and exclamation marks…? yikes!
      :)

      Aug 1, 2008 at 11:28 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #53   Journal of Social awkwardness

    I mean…”you know”…awkward spelling mistake.

    Aug 1, 2008 at 11:26 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #53.1   snee bang

      that’s what we live for around here.

      Aug 2, 2008 at 4:42 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #54   Shane

    This HAS to go in the greatest hits just from the effort it took to make this note happen.

    I’m not sure I’d move a whole fridge over a matter of $3.00.

    Aug 1, 2008 at 11:32 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #55   GhostWriter bang

    “The Fridge incident went unresolved for many months…”

    Because none of the residents realized that the fridge itself was being used to display the taunting note near the curb…

    Thank Gawd, sahmbody fawnally took that insulting sign ahff our curb! Nah, when diya think the fridge’ll be cahmmin’ back?

    Aug 1, 2008 at 11:37 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

    • #55.1   Shane

      nice accent.

      Aug 1, 2008 at 11:43 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #56   Woman on the Verge bang

    If only his housemates had pushed out the stove with the message, “U stole the creamer – will give back stove when U leave $1.65 in small change – so there! Can’t we all just get along?”

    Aug 1, 2008 at 11:43 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #57   NDR

    In the Dominican Republic, it would’n have last 20 min. they come back the next day and they would try to sell the fridge back to you and charge you extra for delivery.

    I had a costume party once and some people came as the flinstones and they made the car, they left it outside, next morning it was gone…always wonder what they did with that.

    Aug 1, 2008 at 11:46 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

     
  • #58   APFDF

    As an Australian, this just makes me so proud that we’re punching above our weight in this category too. I’ve viewed plenty of entries on here but this far and away the best.

    I could think of no more appropriate entry from suburban Australia than one involving a defaced fridge – they tend to end up in strange places.

    Believe it or not a similar situation unfolded in my back lane where a fridge was left by one neighbour in front of another’s garage door, and this passive-aggressive standoff evolved where they kept moving it in front of each other’s door. Eventually, like, months later, it was removed.

    Canberra is our equivalent of Washington D.C. btw. Middle of nowhere, man-made lake ringed by monuments to leadership, architecture, stupidity and other things . It’s also obsessively circular – not an edge or straight line in sight. So it’s understandable that its inhabitants are damaged.

    Aug 1, 2008 at 11:48 am   rating: 10  small thumbs up

    • #58.1   Kev Orng

      Do you guys still have a convicted forger on your five-dollar bill?

      Or was that just one of those interesting non-facts thrown out by the tour guide to fill time as we rambled down Paramatta Road?

      (that was early 1990s, btw)

      Aug 1, 2008 at 12:17 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #58.2   APFDF

      Not anymore. It was Francis Greenway, who forged a contract, and he was on the $10 bill.

      Check out the old-school ones here: http://www.rba.gov.au/Museum/Displays/1960_1988_rba_and_reform_of_the_currency/australias_first_decimal_currency_notes.html

      And the new polymer notes here:
      http://www.rba.gov.au/Museum/Displays/1988_onwards_polymer_currency_notes/complete_series.html

      BTW our best criminal export ever, Macquarie Bank, who’ll live to fight another day out of this crisis btw, uses “the hollow dollar” as its logo. So the polymer notes that everyone’s now adopting wasn’t the first monetary innovation by your humble southern criminal cousins.

      Aug 1, 2008 at 12:32 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #58.3   APFDF

      Sorry I misremembered – it’s called the “Holey dollar” if anyone’s interested. (Checkrefb4posting.com)

      Aug 1, 2008 at 12:41 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #58.4   Kev Orng

      Your money is even more colourful than ours. I also remember a really heavy 50 cent coin that merchants seemed to delight in giving to tourists at every opportunity. “Your change is 17 dollars, mate, you got a wheelbarrow?”

      Man, Spanish dollars took a beating everywhere they went. I always wondered why everyone wanted to saw them up and punch holes in them and call them pieces of eight, why not just use Spanish dollars?

      I guess because it was worth about thirty modern dollars.

      But I gotta love a bank that puts pirate money in its logo. Seriously, If I saw a bank with Pieces of Eight on its flag, I’d totally set up an account just to see if the tellers say “Aaar!”

      Aug 1, 2008 at 1:01 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #59   Woman on the Verge bang

    Suffering massive memory loss from excessive caffeine intake, sadly the coffee thief no longer knows who he is and wandered about the abandoned fridge in small circles while scratching his head and wondering where he would get milk for his coffee.

    Aug 1, 2008 at 11:49 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #60   Serenity Cupboard

    So we may see the dollar rally temporarily but the longer term outlook still looks bleak for the greenback. Serenity Cupboard

    Aug 1, 2008 at 12:11 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #61   Mishee bang

    I myself am wondering if Australia gets reruns of “Punky Brewster” cause I for one know from watching that show that you always remove the door of the fridge before putting out in the yard and writing a P/A diatribe on the side of it…

    Aug 1, 2008 at 12:35 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #61.1   Kev Orng

      I know that from a public safety campaign a long time ago, but now that I think about it, they probably got the idea from Punky Brewster.

      Aug 1, 2008 at 1:07 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #61.2   amazon bang

      LOL! That Punky Brewster episode is what inspired my comment in 32.2. I’m glad to know that I wasn’t the only one whose morals are based on 80′s and 90′s TV shows.

      Thanks to Saved by the Bell, I’ll never take caffeine pills!

      “I’m so excited! I’m… so… scared!”

      Aug 1, 2008 at 4:57 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #61.3   Mishee bang

      Too bad Stephanie Tanner’s walk on the wild side still didn’t keep me away from the dangers of smoking cigarettes….

      Aug 1, 2008 at 5:05 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #62   secondsout bang

    If this is what he does when his coffee is stolen, just imagine what he would do if you stole his nose candy.

    Aug 1, 2008 at 12:39 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #62.1   Kev Orng

      HULK SMASH!

      Aug 1, 2008 at 1:08 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #63   kat

    Am desperately trying to get “kookaburra sits in the old gum tree” out of my head now….anyone else?

    Aug 1, 2008 at 1:08 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #63.1   Kev Orng

      Naw, for me it’s

      Give me a (halfway) home beneath the gum trees,
      with lots of… something,
      a sheep or two and a kangaroo,
      a clothesline out the back,
      passive aggressive fridge out the front,
      and an old rocking chair…

      Will someone please explain what the fuck is with vegemite?

      Aug 1, 2008 at 1:45 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #63.2   kat

      We make the north americans eat it as a joke…..also, that way they’ll leave us the timtams and watties :)

      Aug 1, 2008 at 3:18 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #63.3   amazon bang

      All your timtams are belong to us!

      Aug 1, 2008 at 5:05 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #63.4   aaa

      im in ur watties eatin ur timtams

      Aug 2, 2008 at 7:02 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #64   Phalange

    This story and the comments made on it have completely shattered my perception of what Austrailia is like. You know, the perception formed from the Crocodile Dundee movies, Foster’s beer commercials, and visits to Outback steakhouse.

    Aug 1, 2008 at 1:34 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #64.1   Kev Orng

      Notice the angle the photo is at… they were trying to take the picture upside down so it would look right to us.

      Aug 1, 2008 at 1:47 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
    • #64.2   kat

      y’mean coz they’re upside down to us?
      My nieces here think I’ve always got headaches coz “auntie’s used to standing the other way round on her head to us”…..LOL

      Aug 1, 2008 at 3:31 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #65   Red Letterboxer

    Sung to the tune of “The Times They Are A-Changin’” by Bob Dylan:

    Come gather ‘round addicts, our roommate must go
    ‘Cause he’s clearly the looniest of us, you know
    He’s this close to snapping, he’s ready to blow
    And there’s nothing more entertaining
    So we’ll hijack his coffee and see how it goes
    When the crackpot starts complaining

    It’s highly unusual starting the day
    All straight, clean and sober and mostly okay
    In our kitchen we sometimes have food go away
    But our Frigidaire has gone missing
    Psychotic reaction is never the way
    Now we can’t keep salad dressing
    Oh, we can’t keep salad dressing

    Aug 1, 2008 at 2:23 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

     
  • #66   nestchick

    In an odd bit of synchronicity there is a reference to Canberra here today:http://quotation-marks.blogspot.com/2008/08/its-actually-quantity.html

    Aug 1, 2008 at 3:29 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #67   Mishee bang

    Personally, I am shocked and a little bit hurt that the thread hasn’t turned into “All About Mishee” yet…

    Geez guys, talk about slackers!

    Aug 1, 2008 at 8:24 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #67.1   Timo bang

      When Jan would start that incessant whiney “why is everyone talking about Mishee? Mishee Mishee Mishee!” I would slap her hard with my shoe and tell her “Shut up Jan you’re annoying and you have a bad personality”.

      True story. The End.

      Aug 1, 2008 at 8:36 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #67.2   aaa

      I’m sorry Mishee. You were fucking delicious.

      Aug 1, 2008 at 8:49 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #67.3   Moria?ScrewthattheycallthewindMisheebecausesheissoawesome

      What this needs is more Mishee.

      Aug 1, 2008 at 9:01 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #67.4   aaa

      Guess what? I got a fever! And the only prescription.. is more Mishee!

      Aug 1, 2008 at 9:04 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #67.5   Mishee bang

      ….becauseheissoawesome?

      Now, I don’t dispute the fact that I am totally awesome… but I do mention Mr. Mishee quite a bit… last time I checked just LIVING in the SF Bay Area doesn’t automatically make you gay… does it???

      other than that, LOVE the screen name!

      Aug 1, 2008 at 9:07 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #67.6   morpho aurora bang

      it says she
      unless becauses is a word :D

      Aug 1, 2008 at 9:11 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #67.7   Mishee bang

      damn! edit time ran out!

      Oh well, I stand by my vicodin, mixed with a little box fueled rant…

      I saw what I saw! :D

      (my bad – my awesomeness allows for me to admit when I am wrong… and this is not one of those times! ha ha!)

      I regret nothing.

      Aug 1, 2008 at 9:13 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #67.8   aaa

      Living in San Francisco doesn’t automatically make you gay, but you better watch yourself. They might sneak the gay juice into your water if you’re not paying attention…

      Aug 1, 2008 at 9:15 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #67.9   MisheehascutehairandsheistheoneeverygirlwantstobelikeexceptthatskanktasticKardashiangirl

      When I am down and “out of sorts” I reach for Mishee. It’s a feeling that revitalizes my entire body.

      Aug 1, 2008 at 9:40 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #67.10   Asspanda Patrol

      Please note who turned this thread into all about Mishee.

      Mishee.

      Please stop.

      Aug 2, 2008 at 9:17 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #67.11   aaa

      Well, Mishee did get the ball rolling, but really we all just think about Mishee all the time. I mean, who wouldn’t want to dedicate their lives to spreading the awesome of Mishee? I know that Mishee is always in the back of my mind, regulating my thoughts and actions so I can be more appropriately Mishee-like. It’s not like Mishee isn’t the one who lifted the refrigerator or isn’t the one who holds up the earth, after all. I can’t think of a more deserving person than Mishee to dedicate an entire thread to. Although one piddly thread isn’t enough to contain the awesome of Mishee. The awesome of Mishee must be spread through all the media so that the entire world, er, universe, can be appropriately Mishee-fied. With Mishee guiding human action, there will be no wars or sickness. The only wars and sickness would be from those who shun Mishee. But then we would reeducate them about the fantastical Mishee and they would un-asspanda-fy themselves once they were properly Mishee-fied. So you see, Mishee is the shit and all who do not Mishee-fy their lives are asspandas.

      Aug 2, 2008 at 10:59 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #67.12   Mark bang

      aaa, you are learning, Grasshopper.

      Aug 2, 2008 at 11:33 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #68   Timo bang

    This one time at band camp I saw this fridge falll over on this and MISHEE lifted it off him with superhero like strength.
    Okay well I didn’t see it I heard about it from a kid who’s brother was there.

    Aug 1, 2008 at 8:30 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #69   NothingMisheesaysisinerrorbecauseIadoreher

    I agree.
    “little box fueled rant”
    That is quite a tongue twoster.

    Aug 1, 2008 at 9:31 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #70   BASKINSROBBINSDOESN"THAVEAFLAVORNAMEDMISHEEBECAUWSEEVERYONEWOULDWANTTHAT

    Ummm I forgot what I was going to add.
    Oh yeah I wouldn’t throw out a fridge unless it clashed with my all Mishee all the time decor.

    Aug 1, 2008 at 10:07 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #71   bellabeastie bang

    This is totally off – subject — but I can’t seem to log on to a thread or make a comment…

    I am feeling rejected and dismayed. So much to say – so little forum. :(

    It may be my compy. *sigh*

    Aug 1, 2008 at 11:26 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #72   bellabeastie

    “Tomorrow is another Day..”

    To try to get this thing righted.

    Aug 1, 2008 at 11:49 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #73   Craig

    That is perhaps the best thing I’ve seen in a long time!

    Aug 2, 2008 at 8:16 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #74   bronwynn

    It’s times like these, when i LOVE being from canberra, australia.

    I can safely sleep tonight, knowing that if the looneys in the half-way house things coffee goes missing..not only will a kitchen appliance go outside, it will get on the interwebz as well.

    And yeesh, where is this 3 dollar coffee??? International roast isnt THAT cheap!!

    (and wait till whoever this coffee drinker is, discovers that all the starbucks in canberra are all closing down! oh noes!!)

    Aug 2, 2008 at 9:40 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #74.1   Canberra is Awesome

      I think you can get 100g of homebrand granulated instant from woolies for $2.99. Makes International Roast taste luxurious.

      Aug 6, 2008 at 4:03 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #75   Russ

    This sort of thing should be preserved in a time capsule somewhere as evidence of the true pettiness and complete craziness of human nature. Unreal.

    http://death-sentences.blogspot.com/

    Aug 2, 2008 at 6:52 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #76   ama

    To the tune of “Little Boxes” by Malvina Reynolds

    Little boxes
    on the curbside
    Lil’ ice box
    full of hate graffiti!
    Lil’ ice box
    on the curbside
    From an Aussie
    filled with rage

    There’s no coffee
    in the kitchen
    And no fridges ’til
    I get 3 bucks!
    Steal my coffee!! no more
    coffee thief, I think
    U know who you are

    And the people in this halfway house
    better give me some compensa-a-tion
    Or I’ll put you in the ice box
    And I’ll treat you just the same

    I’ll get doctors, and lawyers,
    and business executives!
    See me Sunday, 8-8-04
    Bitch, I know u know who you are.

    Aug 2, 2008 at 7:33 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #76.1   Quite Contrary bang

      Weeds isn’t quite the same without “Little Boxes.”

      Aug 3, 2008 at 1:44 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #77   Danman

    LOL Canberra representin :)

    Vegemite is gross, fosters is gross, thats why we export – hot tamales and CVS clinics rock, thats why you keep them to yourselves. .
    Looks inner north to me, lots of kooky arty farty types there….

    Canberra has way too many roundabouts (Look on google erf) – no ownder its residents are going loopy

    Dec 11, 2008 at 8:31 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #78   Gee, that’ll show ‘em

    [...] related: bleak house [...]

    Nov 17, 2009 at 9:26 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #79   Gee, that’ll show ‘em

    [...] related: bleak house [...]

    Nov 17, 2009 at 9:26 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     

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