Writes Michael in Milton Keynes, England: “I have an ex-service ambulance which I use as a van. I had parked it on the road round the corner from me for a couple of weeks, and after two days I got a call from the town council’s abandoned vehicle unit. Then I got a few calls from the police. Today, when I decided to move it, I found this note on the window. I was almost tempted to buy something and abandon it there for real now…but that would be bad, wouldn’t it?”
related: But He took the wheel
274 responses so far ↓
#1
ama
first!
Aug 4, 2008 at 12:08 pm rating: 90
#2
Mishee
Whilst??
Fucking Limeys…..
Aug 4, 2008 at 12:11 pm rating: 90
#3
cre8tivewmn
I really hate it when people leave things around that are been dumped. Rewrite, anyone?
By this persons standards nobody is allowed to have a motorhome or a boat if they don’t use it every day. In fact, why park your vehicle at all? If you’re not going to use it all day, you must not really need it.
Aug 4, 2008 at 12:11 pm rating: 90
#4
amy d
I have a blind spot for number 11 also. When I count, I go straight from number 10 to number 12.
Aug 4, 2008 at 12:11 pm rating: 90
#5
Drave
Submitted by Michael in Milton Keynes?
If I called some dude and they said they were currently in Milton Keynes, I’d apologize and ask him to call back whenever they finished up and Milton had taken a shower.
Aug 4, 2008 at 12:14 pm rating: 90
#6
agirlie
they should just paint the curb yellow and call the cops, much more direct ya think?
Aug 4, 2008 at 12:21 pm rating: 90
#7
RunBarbara
you know, in America when someone drives an old ambulance it means one of two things:
1. they are a serial killer
2. they are a serial killer
Ol’ Michael may want to be a little more prompt in moving it, DNA is awfully hard to get rid of.
Aug 4, 2008 at 12:24 pm rating: 90
#8
SchrodingersDuck
What do you reckon the odds are that the “residents of Priory Street” who actually signed this note consist of a grand total of 1 person? No doubt a crotchety old man who dislikes seeing an ambulance parked by his house since it reminds him of how little time he has left.
Aug 4, 2008 at 12:25 pm rating: 90
#9
ama
This is nothing. You should have seen what they did last week to the wayward Meals-on-Wheels mobile… and the double-parked Mr. Frosty! Ice cream…all over the streets…
Aug 4, 2008 at 12:30 pm rating: 90
#10
SchrodingersDuck
Polite notice
Thank you for sticking this marvellous note onto my windscreen. This note now seems to spend endless time being stuck here. Whilst we realise this is a public road and you have every right to stick notes wherever, some consideration for vehicle owners in this road would be appreciated.
Not only does it block our view out, it is extremely dangerous driving, with an absolute blind spot for the middle of the windscreen.
We would be most grateful if at least you could stick it where the sun don’t shine as it is rarely read. What’s the point of having this note if it’s not going to be read or been ignored.
If it does not move we will have no hesitation in contacting passiveaggressivenotes.com, particularly as it’s friggin’ hilarious.
Many thanks
Aug 4, 2008 at 12:31 pm rating: 90
#11
Quite Contrary
So, the working theory here is that if you are not going to use something immediately, you don’t need it.
Let’s see, this means I can dump my 401k, my savings account, my life, health & car insurance, the smoke alarms, the airbags in my car, aspirin, fire extinguishers, and Christmas decorations.
Aug 4, 2008 at 12:33 pm rating: 90
#12
Xiola
The note is comically quaint, but I prefer notes where I don’t side with the writer. This guy, by his own admission, left his vehicle parked in front of someone else’s home for a couple of weeks. He’d have been towed long ago around here!
Aug 4, 2008 at 12:34 pm rating: 90
#13
Rowdy
Pah! If there is a blind spot when come out of your drive, then there is nothing better than having an ambulance parked outside your house. Jeez, these people are so stupid.
Aug 4, 2008 at 12:44 pm rating: 90
#14
amy d
This ambulance is a decorated war hero! How dare you protest its stately presence on your street? You should be honored.
Aug 4, 2008 at 12:54 pm rating: 90
#15
claw71
Yeah, I can’t really join team Michael on this one. I’m sympathetic to the economic factors that drive a person to purchase former service vehicles such as police cruisers and ambulances as a means of personal transportation but I also know that these vehicles are ook quite hideous with their official decals ripped from them and the emergency signals removed from their mounts. I dare say these vehicles look white trashy at their very best. Consider the fact that this is England where bulky vehicles such as vans and trucks are not the norm and the problem is exacerbated. As RB pointed out, there is a creepiness factor to these former ambulances.
It’s quite obvious that Michael was well aware of the aesthetic deficiencies of his ambulavan seeing as he opted to park it away from his residence. That’s simply not fair. If you don’t want to park it in front of your place you probably shouldn’t park it in front of somebody else’s. All of this makes me wonder if Michael is an American expatriate. This sort of behavior…purchasing the government auction vehicle and parking on a residential street…is very American. I wouldn’t be surprised to see a NASCAR sticker on Mike’s bumper. Are you a Dale Jr. fan?
I don’t like the note. I’d much prefer something that was honest and direct. Dear Sir, Your van is ugly and you don’t even live on this street. Stop parking here or we’ll be forced to plant incriminating evidence in your van and report you as a member of the IRA. I don’t care for the whiny diatribe but to answer your question, Mikey, no. Purchasing a piece of junk to abandon on this street wouldn’t be bad at all. It would be inappropriate and rude, but you’ve already been there and done that. It would be stupid but I don’t think that’s much of a reach for you either. We get it, you’re poor. You can’t afford anything but junk. That’s fine. I’ve driven junk too. We all do our best to make ends meet but most of us don’t go out of our way to be rude. Parking your jalopy on your own street is bad enough but parking it on somebody else’s is wrong.
Aug 4, 2008 at 12:57 pm rating: 90
#16
bigtime loser
gotta love those brits though. I admire their polite and ever so gentle way to harass you. They must be the true PAN experts.
Aug 4, 2008 at 12:58 pm rating: 90
#17
Timo
Dear Residents of Priory street,
It amazes me that you can drive at all with a good yard of fine Scottish Yew stuffed up your butt. Driving around whilst having your head up your arse is also a no no.
Thank you.
Transit Owner
Aug 4, 2008 at 1:04 pm rating: 90
#18
Mishee
I think that maybe the ambulance is parked in front of a safe house where Michael has been debriefing a KGB defector… It’s an X-K-Red-27 technique.
But you and I know perfectly well that you don’t keep the general public informed when you are “debriefing KGB defectors in a safe house.”
… the ambulance is just a red herring….
Aug 4, 2008 at 1:05 pm rating: 90
#19
ama
before it touched the hands of a Shakespeare or Austen, this note went something like:
y’all UPPITY amble-lance is DIS-PURTYFYING the nice RV community we got goin’ on here, yessirree…
Aug 4, 2008 at 1:15 pm rating: 90
#20
snee
it’s a good thing this was labeled as a “polite notice”, otherwise i would have thought it was a sarcastic, passive-aggressive ramble with a hint of threat. silly me.
Aug 4, 2008 at 1:21 pm rating: 90
#21
lura
I have a friend who left his old, beat up, essentially useless Honda parked outside his apartment for something like three years….to the point where WASPS AND HORNETS started to build nests on the exterior.
In retrospect, he must have had really nice neighbors, because they never said zip about it.
Or – bzzzzz, either.
If any breeders had been in the vicinity he would have received the inevitably “BUT THINK OF THE CHILDREN!” notes – wasps love to sting baby flesh, it’s their favorite hobby – but mysteriously, no such notes arrived.
Aug 4, 2008 at 1:27 pm rating: 90
#22
bobby
Team No Blind spots.
Aug 4, 2008 at 1:34 pm rating: 90
#23
Clare
‘Polite Notice’ is the ultimate passive aggressive title — when I was very little and in the habit of reading every sign I saw out loud, my dad explained that it’s used only by very stupid people who think other people are stupid enough to misread it as ‘Police Notice’.
Aug 4, 2008 at 1:34 pm rating: 90
#24
Heather
I think I’m on team priory street on this one…if he doesn’t live on the street, he should probably park his old ambulance outside of his own house.
Aug 4, 2008 at 2:03 pm rating: 90
#25
Heather
(although the ‘marvellous’ vehicle thing is a bit much)
Aug 4, 2008 at 2:06 pm rating: 90
#26
ama
hehe…. extremely dangerous coming
and as it rarely moves. like your eyebrows I imagine?
Aug 4, 2008 at 2:22 pm rating: 90
#27
claw71
If somebody parked a shitty van on my street I’d duct tape a couple of neighborhood kids together, stuff them in the back and wait for the cops to arrive. Then I pick the owner of the van out of a line up and sign a sworn statement accusing him of trying to lure kids to it with bags of candy.
That, Mikey, is indeed a very bad thing to do but when you mess with the claw you get, well, the claws, of course.
Aug 4, 2008 at 2:31 pm rating: 90
#28
ama
an ambulance cannot become an ex-ambulance… it can only become…stairs. That one’s for you, mitch.
Aug 4, 2008 at 2:58 pm rating: 90
#29
RALPHY
Personally, I think a little C-4 wired to the ignition would solve a couple of problems at the same time. Viva USA!
Aug 4, 2008 at 3:07 pm rating: 90
#30
Goldie
As much as I agree with the note author, the note is still funny. “Not only does it block our view, it is extremely dangerous coming out of our driveways”, I can just see the extremely dangerous, demon-possessed ambulance coming out of all driveways at once, although it does seem to ignore number 11. Screw extremely dangerous, this is downright scary! Heck, Stephen King could write a novel based on this note alone.
Aug 4, 2008 at 3:21 pm rating: 90
#31
Quite Contrary
Isn’t “absolute blind spot” redundant and “polite note” an oxymoron? “Marvellous vehicle” is just plain sarcastic.
Aug 4, 2008 at 4:14 pm rating: 90
#32
Scaryduck
Pay your road tax, there’s a chap.
Otherwise, top work.
Aug 4, 2008 at 4:18 pm rating: 90
#33
Canthz_B
The ex-ambulance has a bumper sticker that reads: “My other car is a used hearse”.
Aug 4, 2008 at 5:38 pm rating: 90
#34
secondsout
Does anyone else like how the guy is complaining that the thing blocks his view, and asks that he at least move it to the other side of the street? As in, please, block someone else’s view! Their view is less important than ours.
Aug 4, 2008 at 6:07 pm rating: 90
#35
CitizenEditor
This is exactly the sort of shit that makes Milton Keynes the worst place in the country. What happens when you live around concrete cows to long (and they’re actually metal…)
Aug 4, 2008 at 6:33 pm rating: 90
#36
TH
Whatever, Michael. When asshats abandon their cars in my neighborhood because we’re one of the few places in the city that doesn’t require parking permits or have strict hour regulations, I wait the mandated three days and then I call the SFDPT to have their asses towed. My street isn’t your free long-term parking; I LIVE HERE. I am disabled and would like to be able to park within walking distance of my house. Park on your own damn street!
Aug 4, 2008 at 7:12 pm rating: 90
#37
Canthz_B
Why all of his whining as the price declines on periscopes?
Aug 4, 2008 at 7:54 pm rating: 90
#38
Troy McClure
Job 1:21: “The British created the English language, and the British have destroyed it; blessed be the name of the British.”
Aug 4, 2008 at 8:44 pm rating: 90
#39
aaa
Here I thought we Americans were the kings of entitled dickery, but Michael in Milton Keynes, England proves me wrong. Tempted nothing. You did purchase something and abandon it there. What are you getting so pissy for? You’d think the calls from the abandoned vehicle unit and the police might’ve been a clue to stop being dicking everyone else over and move your damn ambulance.
Sorry fella, but you fail big time.
Aug 4, 2008 at 8:56 pm rating: 90
#40
PandoraWombat
I’m glad to hear that they might contact the Police. If the people of Priory Street could get Sting to host a benefit, maybe they could raise enough money to buy Michael a Fucking Clue!
Aug 4, 2008 at 9:31 pm rating: 90
#41
RP
I wish the OP had said why he left an ambulance on a different street. Was there no parking available on his own street? Are there no driveways for the houses or apartments on his street?
Maybe it’s just me but leaving a vehicle someplace where you’re not even going to see it…he wasn’t worried about theft or damage to the vehicle? I’m guessing he didn’t check on it at all before he decided to move it since they probably left the note before calling the police.
Aug 4, 2008 at 10:34 pm rating: 90
#42
patrick
I can identify
Aug 4, 2008 at 10:51 pm rating: 90
#43
Yash
The sad thing. Milton Keynes is built exactly so you DON’T need to drive your car or van all the time – cycle lanes and walkways (offroad) everywhere. And most estates have loads more parkjing than they need. This guy probably wasn;t evenm causing a problem just arsey neighbours.
And hey when diesel costs £1.259 a litre (US$2.63 – nearly US$10/gallon!!) do you expect him really to drive it every day??
Aug 5, 2008 at 2:59 am rating: 90
#44
Canthz_B
It never pays dividends to raise the ire of an arsey neighbour in Milton Keynes.
That’s almost as bad as pissing of an asshole neighbor in Ames, Iowa!
Aug 5, 2008 at 4:08 am rating: 90
#45
DirtyOldLady
Polite Reply
Dear Polite Person in #11 Priory Street,
Thank you for your marvellous note. Since I do not wish to cause an absolute blind spot for you whilst coming out of your driveway, I have opted to simply park in front of your driveway instead, thus protecting you from any risk associated with exiting your property. I trust this resolves the situation to our mutual satisfaction.
Sincerely,
the asshole who can’t be bothered to pay his road tax or keep up with his unsightly vehicle
Aug 5, 2008 at 7:03 am rating: 90
#46
secretrebel
Team polite notice, all the way. The ambuvan isn’t even taxed so it’s not allowed to park on the street and Michael could have parked it on the other side of the road from all the driveways. No wonder the residents of Priory Street are annoyed with him.
I share their pain since I too have a giant van parked outside my house which is difficult/dangerous to get round on a bicycle. I haven’t sent a PAN to the owner but I’ve thought about it pretty hard.
Aug 5, 2008 at 7:26 am rating: 90
#47
Mickey Blue Eyes
I’d say the OP is the ass in this picture. Who buys a worn out gov’t vehicle and the parks it around the corner from where they live (so they don’t have to look at it themselves?) and then [intentionally/unintentionally] abandons/leaves it there for weeks. It makes perfect sense to me that someone would be upset at having a POS vehicle abandoned in front of their house.
I wouldn’t have been as courteous as them to leave a note. I’d have called the cops and reported it abandoned if it hadn’t moved in weeks.
Aug 5, 2008 at 8:20 am rating: 90
#48
banana
What the f%#k were the cops doing making a couple of polite calls? If someone so much as slows down out the front of MY house they’ll see the hollow end of a sawn off.
Hang the bastard!
Aug 5, 2008 at 8:43 am rating: 90
#49
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
The muffin man is seated at the table in the laboratory of the utility muffin Research kitchen.
Aug 5, 2008 at 11:30 am rating: 90
#50
Journal of Social Awkwardness
I love how it’s titled “Polite Notice.” If you call yourself polite, no one can possibly accuse you of being rude!
Aug 5, 2008 at 12:02 pm rating: 90
#51
bellabeastie
My Landlord called the cops on the 3rd floor tenant when she parked on the street and her Dad pulled into her parking space. In the all-sainted driveway. He was there for 1/2 hr.
Said He “didn’t recognize the car”. Cops came, Dad was PISSED, tenant moves out within the month. And I’m right behind her. Another case of Righteous Politeness Run Afoul.
But – really, Mikey, don’t park your stuff for weeks where it doesn’t belong.
Just Rude, Dude.
Aug 5, 2008 at 12:35 pm rating: 90
#52
wont
What does it take in the UK to get a nuisance vehicle removed? Could it be a security hazard? Take it out in a field and detonate it.
Aug 5, 2008 at 1:13 pm rating: 90
#53
Miss Unloop
Take it to a Manchester United football match and paint it with the opposing club’s colors – let the football hooligans take care of the rest.
Aug 5, 2008 at 1:26 pm rating: 90
#54
Fern
PS: Reminder. The Priory Street block party is this Friday. Hope to see you there!
Aug 5, 2008 at 2:42 pm rating: 90
#55
Zita
Jesus Christ. That is the best and most awkwardly phrased line ever:
“This vehicle seems to now spend endless time being parked here.”
Passive voice much?
Aug 5, 2008 at 3:30 pm rating: 90
#56
ugh
Michael, you are a complete douche and I don’t know why this was posted on passiveaggressivenotes because it’s not even funny. It’s just some bastard inconveniencing people and increasing the risk of a car accident.
Aug 6, 2008 at 1:36 pm rating: 90
#57
Ryan
Can’t agree on that one. This note IS passive aggressive. It has all the makings of a straight forward note requesting action but the tone changes (i.e. “marvellous vehicle”) and then there’s the not so veiled threat.
(Why not a friendly request? There is no mention of the van being parked in an illegal spot – just one that people didn’t like.)
The bottom line is they don’t like the ugly van and they are seriously reaching….
And then there’s the fact that the note is anonymous signed by “All” who dwell on the street. Doesn’t it occur to them that they are addressing the note to one of their own neighbors?!??!
Aug 6, 2008 at 4:39 pm rating: 90
#58
agong
To RB;
“feel around in his backpack, is that a canister?”
I bet he drove an ex-ambulance!
Aug 7, 2008 at 5:01 pm rating: 90
#59
moggie
You seriously need to have that piece of shit ex-service ambulance crammed up your arse.
I’M NOT YOUR BUDDY, GUY!
Aug 12, 2008 at 2:42 am rating: 90
#60
Peter Yumi
Hardly any of the letters featured on your website are passive aggressive, they are rather to the point.
Passive Aggressive:
the expression of negative feelings, resentment, and aggression in an unassertive passive way (such as through procrastination and stubbornness)
Aug 17, 2008 at 12:55 pm rating: 90
#61
Peter Yumi
I already read that. The notes are still pretty straight forward though. I understand the spirit of your website, however the letters are not passive aggressive in the least. I do think most of the letters are funny, but most of them seem to come out of frustration from people who have been the victims of theft, for some reason I am unable to read some of the letters which seem genuine with a tongue and cheek ironic attitude. That being said, I still enjoy your website, no need to be defensive.
Aug 17, 2008 at 1:28 pm rating: 90
#62
newzzun
Move your fucking van, Michael!
Jan 11, 2009 at 5:42 am rating: 90
#63 maybe if you had just an itty-bitty limp?
[...] related: mahvelous, just mahvelous [...]
Feb 17, 2009 at 11:22 pm rating: 90
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