Mahvelous, just mahvelous

August 4th, 2008 · 274 comments

Writes Michael in Milton Keynes, England: “I have an ex-service ambulance which I use as a van. I had parked it on the road round the corner from me for a couple of weeks, and after two days I got a call from the town council’s abandoned vehicle unit. Then I got a few calls from the police. Today, when I decided to move it, I found this note on the window. I was almost tempted to buy something and abandon it there for real now…but that would be bad, wouldn’t it?”

related: But He took the wheel

FILED UNDER: "polite notice" · parking · there goes the neighborhood · U.K.


274 responses so far ↓

  • #1   ama

    first!

    Aug 4, 2008 at 12:08 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #1.1   Mishee bang

      *passes unitard to ama without looking her/him in the eyes*

      That’s just wrong!

      Aug 4, 2008 at 12:14 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.2   ama

      what i meant to say was… this Polite Notice gives me a unladylike craving for a mint julep… mm, nice hot day like today…doesn’t that sound nice Muffy dahling…

      Aug 4, 2008 at 12:15 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.3   ama

      her, thanks. is this unisex? seems kind of stretched out….

      Aug 4, 2008 at 12:19 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.4   RunBarbara bang

      mishee’s mom wore it last. she’s a little long in the crotch.

      Aug 4, 2008 at 12:20 pm   rating: 16  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.5   Ryan

      These first few comments today are especially fucking delicious!

      Aug 6, 2008 at 4:30 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #2   Mishee bang

    Whilst??

    Fucking Limeys…..

    Aug 4, 2008 at 12:11 pm   rating: 11  small thumbs up

    • #2.1   Timo bang

      Stwike him, Centuwion. Stwike him vewy wuffly!

      Aug 4, 2008 at 5:48 pm   rating: 14  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.2   Mark bang

      He had a wife, you know. Incontinentia. Incontinentia Buttocks.

      Aug 4, 2008 at 5:51 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.3   Mishee bang

      I’ve had enough of this wowdy webel sniggewing behaviour. Silence! Call yourselves Pwaetowian guards? You’re not – Seize him! Seize him! Blow your noses and seize him!

      Aug 4, 2008 at 5:52 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.4   Canthz_B bang

      Wilt thou please not empty the ashtray before my domicile whilst in the midst of moving your conveyance?

      Aug 4, 2008 at 5:59 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.5   Canthz_B bang

      Mine is not from a movie, by the way. I don’t play that game well.
      I’m guessing “Spaceballs” without checking at IMDB. :-D

      Aug 4, 2008 at 6:01 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.6   Timo bang

      - I have a vewy gweat fwiend in Wome called ‘Biggus Dickus’…. Silence! What is all this insolence? You will find yourself in gladiator school vewy quickly with wotten behaviour like that.

      Aug 4, 2008 at 6:12 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.7   Mishee bang

      Close CB – I liken Mel Brooks to Monty Python in some instances… but we are on Life of Brian right now…

      Funny, I was trying to think of a good Lili Von Schtupp line so we are both on the same track! :D

      Aug 4, 2008 at 6:15 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.8   Mishee bang

      But while I am thinking of it CB… I bet you give great helmet….

      Aug 4, 2008 at 6:20 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.9   Canthz_B bang

      Only to little men in a boat, Mishee! :-P

      Aug 4, 2008 at 6:32 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.10   Miss Unloop

      The Tidy-Bowl man?

      Aug 4, 2008 at 7:41 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.11   Canthz_B bang

      His wife. :mrgreen:

      Aug 4, 2008 at 7:50 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.12   PandoraWombat bang

      Well I’m Brian and so’s my wife!

      Aug 4, 2008 at 8:27 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.13   Andre

      It’s funny, but I was watching Blazing Saddles again just this last weekend. Then I read this bit on Wikipedia which is still making me giggle now:

      When asked in a television interview if anything was so offensive it had to be cut from the movie, however, Mel Brooks confided that one bit between Madeline Kahn and Cleavon Little had to be edited. In the darkened dressing room when Lili asks Bart if it’s “twue” what they say about black men and then she says, “It’s twue, it’s twue!”, he cut Bart’s punchline of “I’m sorry to disappoint you, miss, but you’re sucking on my arm.”

      Aug 5, 2008 at 2:32 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.14   Mishee bang

      CB – re: 2.9 – seamen?

      Aug 6, 2008 at 5:00 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.15   Mark bang

      “I think women and sea-men don’t mix.”

      “We KNOW what you think!”

      Aug 6, 2008 at 5:04 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #3   cre8tivewmn

    I really hate it when people leave things around that are been dumped. Rewrite, anyone?

    By this persons standards nobody is allowed to have a motorhome or a boat if they don’t use it every day. In fact, why park your vehicle at all? If you’re not going to use it all day, you must not really need it.

    Aug 4, 2008 at 12:11 pm   rating: 10  small thumbs up

    • #3.1   ama

      no, no, in England, ‘been’ rhymes with ‘bean.’ so it’s ok.

      Aug 4, 2008 at 12:35 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.2   Mishee bang

      cre8tivewmn – re: I really hate it when people leave things around that are been dumped.

      I feel the same way about Jennifer Aniston.

      Aug 5, 2008 at 1:30 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.3   amy d bang

      Well I wasn’t gonna do this but I am unable to resist any longer.

      The sentence in the note is:

      What’s the point of having this vehicle if its not going to be used or been dumped?

      Awkward wording? Yes, but not necessarily as wrong as #3 insinuates. If we break the sentence at the “or” and then make 2 sentences out of it, you’ll see what I mean
      .
      What’s the point of having this vehicle if its not going to be used ?

      What’s the point of having this vehicle if its been dumped?

      Aug 5, 2008 at 1:46 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.4   Miss Unloop

      Jennifer Aniston and Lisa Kudrow were going to make the van into a Relaxi-Taxi.

      Aug 5, 2008 at 4:52 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #4   amy d bang

    I have a blind spot for number 11 also. When I count, I go straight from number 10 to number 12.

    Aug 4, 2008 at 12:11 pm   rating: 30  small thumbs up

    • #4.1   Mark bang

      This ex-service ambulance goes to 11.

      Aug 4, 2008 at 12:16 pm   rating: 18  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.2   RunBarbara bang

      you sonofabitch, i was just about to type that.

      Aug 4, 2008 at 12:19 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.3   Mishee bang

      *Uh, no, you got the wrong number. This is 9-1… 2…

      Aug 4, 2008 at 12:26 pm   rating: 9  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.4   ama

      good day, 999? there’s an ambulance parked my residence yonder. ’tis betwixt my house and the neighbour’s. anon, please hurry. many thanks. …pray you laughest whilst I lament??

      Aug 4, 2008 at 12:55 pm   rating: 12  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.5   Mishee bang

      ama, you got it wrong! 999 is what dyslexic satan worshippers tattoo on their head…

      silly girl.

      Aug 4, 2008 at 12:58 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.6   Timo bang

      I have 667. I am a one off.

      Aug 4, 2008 at 1:09 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.7   Joe

      I didn’t know dyslexia worked that way….

      Aug 4, 2008 at 1:09 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.8   Mark bang

      668 – Neighbor of the Beast

      Aug 4, 2008 at 1:11 pm   rating: 17  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.9   Mishee bang

      A neighborhood store has the address 666 and my friend REFUSES to go in there… and the funny thing is she is a Sikh, so I don’t even think they believe in Lucifer…

      Aug 4, 2008 at 1:13 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.10   ama

      that doesn’t mean Lucifer doesn’t believe in you. and if he doesn’t exist, then who is God’s Worst Enemy?

      Aug 4, 2008 at 1:30 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.11   Mishee bang

      me.

      Aug 4, 2008 at 1:32 pm   rating: 14  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.12   Canthz_B bang

      There is a great looking Italian restaurant near me that has a 666 address.
      My wife, a good Christian woman, agreed that it looked like a nice place, but would never let me take her there.

      Aug 4, 2008 at 2:29 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.13   ama

      that is scary, Mishee. you just made me do number 11 in my pants, a little bit.

      Aug 4, 2008 at 2:41 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.14   ama

      Canthz B, i like how you’re forced to use ‘great’ to describe an Italian restaurant, and ‘good’ to describe your wife. :)

      Aug 4, 2008 at 3:32 pm   rating: 18  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.15   Canthz_B bang

      When my late-wife achieves sainthood, I’ll call her a “great” Christian.
      I said the restaurant was “great looking”, not that it was “great”.
      Please learn to read just a little bit, ama. Until then I’d suggest you steer clear of me. ;-)

      Aug 4, 2008 at 3:36 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.16   ama

      sure, i’ll steer clear of you and your great looking wife, no, restaurant, wait which is it?

      Aug 4, 2008 at 3:40 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.17   Canthz_B bang

      You are astonishingly dim-witted, ama.

      I have made no attempt to describe my late-wife’s appearance as beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

      Aug 4, 2008 at 3:44 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.18   Mishee bang

      ama, just a word of advice… I would seriously quit while you are ahead….

      Aug 4, 2008 at 3:47 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.19   Timo bang

      Unfunny thick-headed rejoinders are unwise. Move along.

      Aug 4, 2008 at 3:52 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.20   Mishee bang

      Geez CB! You’re too damn diplomatic! WTF?

      “Beauty is in the eye of the beholder” Bah!
      “Everyone’s sense of humor is different….” Whatever!
      “I’m sick of these motherfucking snakes on this motherfucking plane!!” Oh, wait, that one makes sense….

      Aug 4, 2008 at 3:54 pm   rating: 9  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.21   Canthz_B bang

      Sorry, Mishee.
      I’m only handling this one with my left pinky finger. ;-)

      Aug 4, 2008 at 3:57 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.22   ama

      actually, at this point, i think i’m behind. i guess there are some things you shouldn’t say at all, never mind a humor site. i apologize for my rudeness and PA behavior, won’t happen again, sorry.

      Aug 4, 2008 at 3:59 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.23   Mishee bang

      Just put it up against the corner of your mouth for me (just for a second!) and say “Where the hell are my frickin sharks with frickin laser beams on the top of their frickin heads!?!”

      That would make me smile.

      Aug 4, 2008 at 3:59 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.24   Mishee bang

      ama, don’t you listen? you should’ve said:

      I do, I offer a complete and utter retraction. The imputation was totally without basis in fact, and was in no way fair comment, and was motivated purely by malice, and I deeply regret any distress that my comments may have caused you, or your family, and I hereby undertake not to repeat any such slander at any time in the future.”

      That’s the proper English way.

      Aug 4, 2008 at 4:01 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.25   Canthz_B bang

      Don’t forget to genuflect as you recite that apology! :-P

      Aug 4, 2008 at 4:09 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.26   ama

      hehe that apology is as old as i am. from here on, i’ll think of it as my twin.

      Aug 4, 2008 at 4:16 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.27   Timo

      ” The time has come the song is over thought I had something more to saaay.”

      Aug 4, 2008 at 4:24 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.28   se

      very apt Floyd reference. worth a plus

      Aug 4, 2008 at 4:43 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.29   Mishee bang

      I was gonna reference Floyd in the “pig” thread #16, but soon lost interest in the project…

      at least Floyd’s (dehydrated) pig has testicles…. more than I can say about some cops I’ve known…

      Aug 4, 2008 at 4:47 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.30   Troy McClure bang

      Revelation 13:18: “Here is wisdom. Let him that hath understanding count the number of the beast: for it is the number of a restaurant; and its number is Six hundred threescore and six.” :)

      Aug 4, 2008 at 8:22 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.31   Wade bang

      The original Greek restaurant was numbered 616, but, due to a disastrous PR campaign, it went belly up, and was bought out by the more popular Italian restaurant just down the block.

      Aug 4, 2008 at 8:34 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.32   Canthz_B bang

      616 is not a diagnosis you want associated with your restaurant.

      Aug 4, 2008 at 8:40 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.33   Mishee bang

      Now you have me curious CB – pray tell….

      Aug 5, 2008 at 10:08 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.34   Mishee bang

      Funny wade, usually when you are going Greek, you sure aren’t belly up!

      (sorry, couldn’t contain myself any longer)

      Aug 5, 2008 at 2:32 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #5   Drave bang

    Submitted by Michael in Milton Keynes?

    If I called some dude and they said they were currently in Milton Keynes, I’d apologize and ask him to call back whenever they finished up and Milton had taken a shower.

    Aug 4, 2008 at 12:14 pm   rating: 25  small thumbs up

    • #5.1   Timo bang

      They currently are on tour with cirque du soleil. Milton is quite flexible.

      Aug 4, 2008 at 3:54 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.2   Mishee bang

      Well I hope he is flexible… sometimes they might need to keep him late, or possibly call him in on his day off….

      oh… wait…

      Nevermind.

      Aug 4, 2008 at 3:57 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #6   agirlie

    they should just paint the curb yellow and call the cops, much more direct ya think?

    Aug 4, 2008 at 12:21 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #6.1   Grade Ape

      That’s probably the quickest way to resolve anything. I can’t speak to the law in jolly ol’ England but here in the DC area, as long as the vehicle moves once a week the authorities can’t touch it (provided it’s not breaking any permits).

      In a neighborhood I used to live in this old dude to parked a circa 1970 pile of crap RV eyesore on our street. Once a week he’d roll it about 3 feet. While the shit was annoying, he was perfectly entitled under the law.

      Aug 4, 2008 at 12:35 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.2   Mishee bang

      Here in CA if you get tagged for having your vehicle parked for too long, you have to drive it at least a mile…

      That’s when you just run around the corner, get it washed or something, and then drive right back over! Fuck you neighbors, I park where I want!

      Aug 4, 2008 at 12:38 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.3   Joe

      Wouldn’t the battery die? I would think the approach of driving a mile would help, but 3 feet each week? I’m surprised it kept starting!

      Aug 4, 2008 at 1:12 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.4   agirlie

      we live in a condo and 6 units share a driveway, we each have our own “strip” yet the association (effing nazis) keep threatening to tow cars with expired tags, they haven’t towed anyone yet, not even to get the snow plowed out. Ninnys.

      Aug 4, 2008 at 6:19 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.5   Canthz_B bang

      Maybe if you added a little more pizzazz to your stripping, perhaps a python, they’d stop threatening.

      Aug 4, 2008 at 6:44 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.6   hamburke

      I live in a townhouse with a parking lot. Each unit has an assigned spot and is allowed 2 parking stickers and one guest pass. Our HOA recently hired a slightly overzealous towing company. They have towed people who have only been there for 2 minutes (barely enough time to unload something, go potty and come back out), food delivery cars, cars that are not expired and have HOA stickers on them (including my van with 4 carseats in it, neighbor’s late-60′s VW ‘bus that they take camping most weekends and 3 of my other neighbors’ cars) and cars with the visitor’s tag clearly displayed that have been there for less than 24 hours. However, the rusted out car on cinderblocks that the guy keeps working on and leaving bits of all over the place where my kids can get to has not been towed.

      Aug 5, 2008 at 12:32 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.7   Quite Contrary

      I do not miss living in a townhouse with an HOA. HOA’s are evil.

      Aug 5, 2008 at 4:18 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.8   Canthz_B bang

      HOA?

      High Occupancy Anus?

      Aug 5, 2008 at 4:50 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.9   Timo bang

      Hysterical Ovarian Angst

      Aug 5, 2008 at 4:53 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.10   amy d bang

      Housewives On Anti-Depressants.

      Aug 5, 2008 at 4:55 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.11   Miss Unloop

      Are we back to Milton gain?

      Aug 5, 2008 at 4:55 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.12   agirlie

      I DO need more pizazz in my stripping!

      HOA=

      “Hoses Off Ambulance”

      Aug 5, 2008 at 4:55 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.13   Canthz_B bang

      Hirsute, Obese Amazon

      Aug 5, 2008 at 4:57 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.14   Miss Unloop

      (damn Ajax…)

      again?

      Aug 5, 2008 at 4:57 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.15   Timo bang

      Horny Octopussy Abuse

      Aug 5, 2008 at 4:59 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.16   Canthz_B bang

      Happily On-top Agirlie! :-P

      Aug 5, 2008 at 5:00 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.17   Canthz_B bang

      Hazmat Official Attire

      Aug 5, 2008 at 5:04 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.18   amy d bang

      Horny Orangutan Association

      Aug 5, 2008 at 5:08 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.19   Canthz_B bang

      Habitual Orifice Abuser

      Aug 5, 2008 at 5:13 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.20   PandoraWombat bang

      Hildegard’s Obsequious Abbatoir

      Hardened Orgasmic Agony

      Hidden Ocelots Ahead

      Hordes of Overzealous Actuaries

      Ham and Oreo A la carte

      (aaaaaah! make it stop make it stop make it stop!)

      Aug 5, 2008 at 5:27 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.21   Wade bang

      I was a dedicated and conscientious vice president for my home owners’ association for one year (and one year only).

      No good deed ever goes unpunished. :|

      Aug 5, 2008 at 5:47 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.22   Canthz_B bang

      Nicely done, Wade. ;-)

      Aug 5, 2008 at 5:56 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.23   agirlie

      Hands on Ass

      Aug 6, 2008 at 12:01 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #7   RunBarbara bang

    you know, in America when someone drives an old ambulance it means one of two things:
    1. they are a serial killer
    2. they are a serial killer

    Ol’ Michael may want to be a little more prompt in moving it, DNA is awfully hard to get rid of.

    Aug 4, 2008 at 12:24 pm   rating: 38  small thumbs up

    • #7.1   Mishee bang

      I’m pretty sure the Ghostbusters will take offense to that RB…

      Aug 4, 2008 at 12:27 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.2   RunBarbara bang

      let me add a number 3:
      1. they are a serial killer
      2. they are a serial killer
      3. they are bill murray

      Aug 4, 2008 at 12:32 pm   rating: 29  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.3   Mark bang

      Back off, man. I’m a scientist.

      Aug 4, 2008 at 12:36 pm   rating: 17  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.4   Grade Ape

      Or…

      4. An average concerned citizen who ain’t afraid of no ghost!

      Aug 4, 2008 at 12:37 pm   rating: 12  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.5   RunBarbara bang

      Sorry about the bug-eyes thing.

      Aug 4, 2008 at 12:38 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.6   Timo bang

      Human sacrifice, dogs and cats living together… mass hysteria!

      Aug 4, 2008 at 1:17 pm   rating: 9  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.7   Timo bang

      It’s the Sta-puff marshmallow man.

      Aug 4, 2008 at 2:52 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.8   mrs. pommelhorst

      … you can bet the residents of Priory St. will be none too pleased when paranormal crap starts happening and they’ve shoo’ed off their only de-commisioned ambulance.

      Team Michael, bustin’ ghosts.

      Aug 4, 2008 at 3:20 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.9   MAMARILLA2 bang

      When some one asks you “are you a god?” say YES.

      Aug 17, 2008 at 2:12 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #8   SchrodingersDuck

    What do you reckon the odds are that the “residents of Priory Street” who actually signed this note consist of a grand total of 1 person? No doubt a crotchety old man who dislikes seeing an ambulance parked by his house since it reminds him of how little time he has left.

    Aug 4, 2008 at 12:25 pm   rating: 29  small thumbs up

     
  • #9   ama

    This is nothing. You should have seen what they did last week to the wayward Meals-on-Wheels mobile… and the double-parked Mr. Frosty! Ice cream…all over the streets…

    Aug 4, 2008 at 12:30 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

     
  • #10   SchrodingersDuck

    Polite notice

    Thank you for sticking this marvellous note onto my windscreen. This note now seems to spend endless time being stuck here. Whilst we realise this is a public road and you have every right to stick notes wherever, some consideration for vehicle owners in this road would be appreciated.

    Not only does it block our view out, it is extremely dangerous driving, with an absolute blind spot for the middle of the windscreen.

    We would be most grateful if at least you could stick it where the sun don’t shine as it is rarely read. What’s the point of having this note if it’s not going to be read or been ignored.

    If it does not move we will have no hesitation in contacting passiveaggressivenotes.com, particularly as it’s friggin’ hilarious.

    Many thanks

    Aug 4, 2008 at 12:31 pm   rating: 71  small thumbs up

     
  • #11   Quite Contrary

    So, the working theory here is that if you are not going to use something immediately, you don’t need it.

    Let’s see, this means I can dump my 401k, my savings account, my life, health & car insurance, the smoke alarms, the airbags in my car, aspirin, fire extinguishers, and Christmas decorations.

    Aug 4, 2008 at 12:33 pm   rating: 29  small thumbs up

    • #11.1   Mishee bang

      Don’t forget any spare babies you have lying around! Lord knows they aren’t something you can use until they hit about 16 and can start doing the dishes and running errands in the car and shit…

      Aug 4, 2008 at 12:36 pm   rating: 14  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.2   Joe

      16?! Come on! By that age, they’re all rebellious and angsty! You get your best years of child labor between 8 and 12. It’s so sad that there’s so little time. Make the most of those years!

      Aug 4, 2008 at 1:17 pm   rating: 16  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.3   Mishee bang

      But remember, the 16 year old boy is able to lift heavy furniture and such in the event you move… 8 year olds just sit there and watch and get underfoot….

      All ages have a purpose… now my mother uses me to do her ironing while she quilts… bitch…

      *quickly looks around to ensure my mama isn’t around*

      Aug 4, 2008 at 3:53 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.4   Miss Unloop

      Mishee, apparently your mom and I are kindred spirits, so…

      I’M TELLING!!!

      Aug 4, 2008 at 5:39 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.5   Mishee bang

      mom, is that you?

      I swear I was coming right back into the sewing room! I just needed a second to sit down! We aren’t joking when we refer it to the “Sweat Shop”!!

      Please don’t whip me for going on the computer when I should be ironing!!

      Aug 4, 2008 at 5:49 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.6   Timo bang

      Looking around at half the shit I wear and is laying about the house 8 to 12 year olds are pretty adept at some serious work cause they made all of it.

      Aug 4, 2008 at 5:50 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.7   Miss Unloop

      Mishee, you’re grounded!

      Aug 4, 2008 at 6:09 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.8   Sydney

      Dibs on the aspirin.

      Aug 4, 2008 at 8:00 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.9   Berry

      Dibs on spare babies.

      Aug 5, 2008 at 3:14 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #12   Xiola

    The note is comically quaint, but I prefer notes where I don’t side with the writer. This guy, by his own admission, left his vehicle parked in front of someone else’s home for a couple of weeks. He’d have been towed long ago around here!

    Aug 4, 2008 at 12:34 pm   rating: 29  small thumbs up

    • #12.1   Alice

      I think, Xiola, the point is, that while the house might belong to “someone else”, the road belongs to all of us, in a lovely caring sharing way. People should live in the country if they don’t want to share public amenities with others!

      Aug 5, 2008 at 5:33 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #12.2   Angel

      Why not park it in front of his own house rather than someone else’s on the “road round the corner”?

      Probably due to the fact that it’s an eye-sore and he has a grudge against the owner of the house in front of which it’s parked.

      Talk about passive-aggressive behavior. Michael is king.

      Aug 11, 2008 at 12:48 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #12.3   tami

      i agree with xiola and angel… what excellent reason is there for not parking in front of your own house, or at least on your own street? if somebody parked their big old (and i’m sure, horribly unattractive) ex-ambulance in front of my house for more than a day and it was blocking my view for backing out safely, i would probably do much more than just put a note on it.

      Aug 12, 2008 at 5:38 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #13   Rowdy bang

    Pah! If there is a blind spot when come out of your drive, then there is nothing better than having an ambulance parked outside your house. Jeez, these people are so stupid.

    Aug 4, 2008 at 12:44 pm   rating: 17  small thumbs up

    • #13.1   TheOtherOne

      On the other hand, having an ex-ambulance CAUSING a blind spot when I try to pull out of my driveway – for weeks without moving, yet – would get a stronger reaction than a passive-agressive note from me . . . .

      Aug 4, 2008 at 2:39 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #14   amy d bang

    …ex-service ambulance…

    This ambulance is a decorated war hero! How dare you protest its stately presence on your street? You should be honored.

    Aug 4, 2008 at 12:54 pm   rating: 22  small thumbs up

    • #14.1   Timo bang

      Sir Ambulance MBE

      Aug 4, 2008 at 1:12 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #15   claw71 bang

    Yeah, I can’t really join team Michael on this one. I’m sympathetic to the economic factors that drive a person to purchase former service vehicles such as police cruisers and ambulances as a means of personal transportation but I also know that these vehicles are ook quite hideous with their official decals ripped from them and the emergency signals removed from their mounts. I dare say these vehicles look white trashy at their very best. Consider the fact that this is England where bulky vehicles such as vans and trucks are not the norm and the problem is exacerbated. As RB pointed out, there is a creepiness factor to these former ambulances.

    It’s quite obvious that Michael was well aware of the aesthetic deficiencies of his ambulavan seeing as he opted to park it away from his residence. That’s simply not fair. If you don’t want to park it in front of your place you probably shouldn’t park it in front of somebody else’s. All of this makes me wonder if Michael is an American expatriate. This sort of behavior…purchasing the government auction vehicle and parking on a residential street…is very American. I wouldn’t be surprised to see a NASCAR sticker on Mike’s bumper. Are you a Dale Jr. fan?

    I don’t like the note. I’d much prefer something that was honest and direct. Dear Sir, Your van is ugly and you don’t even live on this street. Stop parking here or we’ll be forced to plant incriminating evidence in your van and report you as a member of the IRA. I don’t care for the whiny diatribe but to answer your question, Mikey, no. Purchasing a piece of junk to abandon on this street wouldn’t be bad at all. It would be inappropriate and rude, but you’ve already been there and done that. It would be stupid but I don’t think that’s much of a reach for you either. We get it, you’re poor. You can’t afford anything but junk. That’s fine. I’ve driven junk too. We all do our best to make ends meet but most of us don’t go out of our way to be rude. Parking your jalopy on your own street is bad enough but parking it on somebody else’s is wrong.

    Aug 4, 2008 at 12:57 pm   rating: 64  small thumbs up

     
  • #16   bigtime loser

    gotta love those brits though. I admire their polite and ever so gentle way to harass you. They must be the true PAN experts.

    Aug 4, 2008 at 12:58 pm   rating: 13  small thumbs up

    • #16.1   Miss Unloop

      Ever watch the show “COPS”? In America, it’s all, like, “GET ON THE GROUND!! STOP RESISTING!!” They had a feature in England at one time, and when a perp cussed out one of the pigs, the other pig remarked “please modify your language, sir.” Modify your language?!? Is Rex Harrison now a member of the metropolitan scuffers?

      Aug 4, 2008 at 2:03 pm   rating: 18  small thumbs up

       
    • #16.2   Mishee bang

      I tried to watch one from Russia… made it about 5 minutes and said “WTF is this SHIT?” Where are the chases? Why is this guy pissing in front of the Kremlin? What are those weird hats they are wearing? Why are the cameras going to the Police Academy for footage? Get the fuck back on the street Cops Cameraman! It sucked. I thought it was gonna be vodka thrown everywhere, possibly an eviction of an entire town of Jews… things that make good TV.. but NOOOOOO…

      I hear ya Miss Unloop.

      Aug 4, 2008 at 2:15 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #16.3   CombatPanda

      In Soviet Russia vehicle abandons you.

      Aug 4, 2008 at 2:19 pm   rating: 22  small thumbs up

       
    • #16.4   Miss Unloop

      Yeah, I saw that one… the “highlight” of the show was at the end, when all these Russian cops were sitting around a campfire (?!?!) singing an original song that one of them had written about being a cop and apprehending bad guys.

      It sucked ASS.

      Aug 4, 2008 at 2:20 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #16.5   Timo bang

      That was a huge disappointment. With all the supposed alcohol addiction problems and newly organized crime you would think that it would have been a lot of cool cop crime fighting stuff!
      You know 8 by 10 color glossy photos with circles and arrows and paragraphs on the back type of stuff.

      Aug 4, 2008 at 2:50 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #16.6   Mishee bang

      It’s just another example of blind justice Timo….

      Tsk tsk.. ’tis a shame…

      (I love you a little more now, after that last comment…)

      Aug 4, 2008 at 3:24 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #16.7   Timo bang

      You really can get anything you want. :wink:

      Aug 4, 2008 at 3:41 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #16.8   Mishee bang

      Except for, apparently, weekly trash service…

      Aug 4, 2008 at 3:43 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #16.9   Timo bang

      Especially around Thanksgiving!

      Yummmm now that is a meal that can’t be beat.

      Aug 4, 2008 at 3:48 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #16.10   JuanRojas

      @ Miss Unloop
      Actually they’re not pigs in Britain, they’re ‘rashers’ or ‘fuzz’, or in London, ‘filth’.

      Aug 4, 2008 at 4:10 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #16.11   Mishee bang

      A pig is a pig anywhere.

      Aug 4, 2008 at 4:14 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #16.12   Canthz_B bang

      Even in a poke?

      Aug 4, 2008 at 4:32 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #16.13   Miss Unloop

      Forgive us, JR – last we checked, the “Young Ones” was filmed in Britain, starring fine British actors. We will make an effort to modify our language.

      Aug 4, 2008 at 6:06 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #16.14   Mishee bang

      I was just wondering how the hell a wetback knew what they called them in Britain.

      I thought they just knew them as Federales…

      Aug 4, 2008 at 6:17 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #16.15   Canthz_B bang

      Because it was one hell of a swim, Mishee! ;-)

      Aug 4, 2008 at 6:38 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #16.16   Miss Unloop

      CB, you beat me to the punch on that one!

      Aug 4, 2008 at 7:24 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #16.17   SchrodingersDuck

      You’ve clearly been lucky to avoid the hot new British cop show, Rail Cops. Thrill as British Transport Police polite ask fare-dodgers to leave the train! Amaze as the officers ask the fare-dodgers again, slightly more forcefully! Gasp as a somewhat tipsy guy is escorted from a Tube station! Quake in terror as a man is politely asked to put out his cigarette and take his feet off the seat!

      Britain is the country for boring cop shows. As well as Rail Cops, there’s shows following traffic wardens, fire-safety investigators, environmental health officers and Customs and Excise Officers. They’re worth watching for the passive-aggressive eccentrics, if nothing else.

      Aug 4, 2008 at 7:27 pm   rating: 9  small thumbs up

       
    • #16.18   Canthz_B bang

      I ♥ the command to “stop resisting”.
      The poor guy is thrown down on a pile of rocks and writhes in pain, but in court the cop’s audio says he was resisting arrest. Add two years to your sentence, Buddy!
      Justice is blind, but can’t she smell a scam?

      Aug 4, 2008 at 7:36 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #16.19   Miss Unloop

      Or when they say “GIMME YOUR HAND!!!” while the guy’s hand is pinned under his body, which in turn is pinned beneath three other cops’ knees…

      Aug 4, 2008 at 7:55 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #16.20   Canthz_B bang

      I also love when one officer is yelling “Get on the ground”, while the other is yelling “Don’t move”!
      They must be addressing the Quantum Physics Bandit.

      Aug 4, 2008 at 8:05 pm   rating: 12  small thumbs up

       
    • #16.21   Miss Unloop

      Or an Oxy Moron.

      Aug 4, 2008 at 8:22 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #16.22   Canthz_B bang

      Billy Mays here with new Oxy Moron Stain Remover!

      Aug 4, 2008 at 8:28 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #16.23   Miss Unloop

      Oxy Moron even tackles those tough grass stains from jumping out of a still-moving vehicle and being wrestled to the ground by big, burly, jar-headed cops!

      Aug 4, 2008 at 8:47 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #16.24   PandoraWombat bang

      What about new Oxy Mormon — an LDS Missionary Superhero with heavenly stain-fighting powers!

      Aug 4, 2008 at 8:50 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #16.25   Canthz_B bang

      Mitt Romney?

      Aug 4, 2008 at 9:13 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #16.26   PandoraWombat bang

      SHHHH! You’re not supposed to reveal his Secret Identity. Duh!

      Aug 4, 2008 at 9:21 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #16.27   Canthz_B bang

      We would have accepted him as a Superhero, but his candidacy didn’t fly.

      Aug 4, 2008 at 9:28 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #16.28   Numinous bang

      OMG, as I read that comment a Billy Mays commercial came on TV!

      Aug 4, 2008 at 9:42 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #16.29   Mishee bang

      you guys made me totally think of this clip… unfortunately its not the best quality – but I love this bit!!

      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2zVyZTzQJpY&feature=related

      Aug 5, 2008 at 10:16 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #17   Timo bang

    Dear Residents of Priory street,
    It amazes me that you can drive at all with a good yard of fine Scottish Yew stuffed up your butt. Driving around whilst having your head up your arse is also a no no.

    Thank you.
    Transit Owner

    Aug 4, 2008 at 1:04 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

     
  • #18   Mishee bang

    I think that maybe the ambulance is parked in front of a safe house where Michael has been debriefing a KGB defector… It’s an X-K-Red-27 technique.
    But you and I know perfectly well that you don’t keep the general public informed when you are “debriefing KGB defectors in a safe house.”

    … the ambulance is just a red herring….

    Aug 4, 2008 at 1:05 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

    • #18.1   Timo bang

      And you come loping in like Rambo without a jockstrap and you dangle him out a fifth-floor window. Now, was that smart? Was it shrewd? Was it good tactics? Or was it stupid?

      Aug 4, 2008 at 1:24 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #18.2   Timo bang

      You pompous, stuck-up, snot-nosed, English, giant, twerp, scumbag, fuck-face, dickhead, asshole.

      How very interesting. You’re a true vulgarian, aren’t you?

      Aug 4, 2008 at 1:25 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #18.3   Mishee bang

      To call them stupid would be an insult to stupid people. I’ve known sheep who could outwit them! I’ve worn dresses with higher IQs than these people!

      God!

      Aug 4, 2008 at 1:28 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #18.4   Timo bang

      It’s K-K-K-Ken c-c-c-coming to k-k-k-kill me.

      Aug 4, 2008 at 1:28 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #18.5   Mishee bang

      Aristotle was not Belgian, the principle of Buddhism is not “every man for himself”, and the London Underground is not a political movement.

      Aug 4, 2008 at 1:34 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
    • #18.6   Timo bang

      Now let me correct you on a couple of things, OK? Aristotle was not Belgian. The central message of Buddhism is not “Every man for himself.” And the London Underground is not a political movement.

      Aug 4, 2008 at 1:38 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #18.7   Miss Unloop

      What was that middle part again?

      Aug 4, 2008 at 2:05 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #18.8   Mishee bang

      I do, I offer a complete and utter retraction. The imputation was totally without basis in fact, and was in no way fair comment, and was motivated purely by malice, and I deeply regret any distress that my comments may have caused you, or your family, and I hereby undertake not to repeat any such slander at any time in the future.”

      Now that’s a proper English apology!! Polite and clear even when faced with a Vanilla Ice/Suge Knight quagmire.

      Aug 4, 2008 at 2:17 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #18.9   Timo bang

      Giggity goo!

      Aug 4, 2008 at 2:26 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #18.10   Sydney

      Well thank YOU Mr. Manfredjensenjen for popping in and saving us.

      Aug 4, 2008 at 8:03 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #19   ama

    before it touched the hands of a Shakespeare or Austen, this note went something like:
    y’all UPPITY amble-lance is DIS-PURTYFYING the nice RV community we got goin’ on here, yessirree…

    Aug 4, 2008 at 1:15 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

     
  • #20   snee bang

    it’s a good thing this was labeled as a “polite notice”, otherwise i would have thought it was a sarcastic, passive-aggressive ramble with a hint of threat. silly me.

    Aug 4, 2008 at 1:21 pm   rating: 20  small thumbs up

    • #20.1   ama

      i thought it was Police Notice when i “first!” read it. but ‘polite notice’ is much more self-aware. aaand crazy.

      Aug 4, 2008 at 1:37 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #21   lura

    I have a friend who left his old, beat up, essentially useless Honda parked outside his apartment for something like three years….to the point where WASPS AND HORNETS started to build nests on the exterior.

    In retrospect, he must have had really nice neighbors, because they never said zip about it.

    Or – bzzzzz, either.

    If any breeders had been in the vicinity he would have received the inevitably “BUT THINK OF THE CHILDREN!” notes – wasps love to sting baby flesh, it’s their favorite hobby – but mysteriously, no such notes arrived.

    Aug 4, 2008 at 1:27 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #22   bobby

    Team No Blind spots.

    Aug 4, 2008 at 1:34 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #23   Clare

    ‘Polite Notice’ is the ultimate passive aggressive title — when I was very little and in the habit of reading every sign I saw out loud, my dad explained that it’s used only by very stupid people who think other people are stupid enough to misread it as ‘Police Notice’.

    Aug 4, 2008 at 1:34 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

    • #23.1   ama

      Re #20.1
      I speed read okay!! which means skipping words i don’t know…

      Aug 4, 2008 at 1:40 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #24   Heather

    I think I’m on team priory street on this one…if he doesn’t live on the street, he should probably park his old ambulance outside of his own house.

    Aug 4, 2008 at 2:03 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

     
  • #25   Heather

    (although the ‘marvellous’ vehicle thing is a bit much)

    Aug 4, 2008 at 2:06 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #25.1   Miss Unloop

      I think “smashing” would have been more apropos.

      Aug 4, 2008 at 2:23 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #26   ama

    hehe…. extremely dangerous coming

    and as it rarely moves. like your eyebrows I imagine?

    Aug 4, 2008 at 2:22 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #27   claw71 bang

    If somebody parked a shitty van on my street I’d duct tape a couple of neighborhood kids together, stuff them in the back and wait for the cops to arrive. Then I pick the owner of the van out of a line up and sign a sworn statement accusing him of trying to lure kids to it with bags of candy.

    That, Mikey, is indeed a very bad thing to do but when you mess with the claw you get, well, the claws, of course.

    Aug 4, 2008 at 2:31 pm   rating: 23  small thumbs up

    • #27.1   RunBarbara bang

      don’t forget to hang a pair of panties from the rear view mirror and leave a few out dated issues of Highlights littered around the passenger seat.

      Aug 4, 2008 at 3:10 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #27.2   Miss Unloop

      Goofus thoughtlessly parks his ex-ambulance in spaces where it blocks other people’s view.

      Gallant parks his ex-ambulance in the front yard on some concrete blocks, well out of the way of the general public.

      Aug 4, 2008 at 7:28 pm   rating: 19  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #28   ama

    an ambulance cannot become an ex-ambulance… it can only become…stairs. That one’s for you, mitch.

    Aug 4, 2008 at 2:58 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #28.1   RunBarbara bang

      if you substitute “ambulance” with “escalator” and add some heroin…then you have a proper mitch tribute.

      Aug 4, 2008 at 3:08 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #28.2   ama

      eh. I’m too busy searching for the Dufresne’s to write a proper mitch hedberg tribute joke.

      Aug 4, 2008 at 3:15 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #28.3   PandoraWombat bang

      GO AROUND!

      (that’s a fair mitch tribute I think)

      Aug 4, 2008 at 8:41 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #29   RALPHY

    Personally, I think a little C-4 wired to the ignition would solve a couple of problems at the same time. Viva USA!

    Aug 4, 2008 at 3:07 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #30   Goldie

    As much as I agree with the note author, the note is still funny. “Not only does it block our view, it is extremely dangerous coming out of our driveways”, I can just see the extremely dangerous, demon-possessed ambulance coming out of all driveways at once, although it does seem to ignore number 11. Screw extremely dangerous, this is downright scary! Heck, Stephen King could write a novel based on this note alone.

    Aug 4, 2008 at 3:21 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

     
  • #31   Quite Contrary

    Isn’t “absolute blind spot” redundant and “polite note” an oxymoron? “Marvellous vehicle” is just plain sarcastic.

    Aug 4, 2008 at 4:14 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #31.1   Canthz_B bang

      Maybe there’s a “legally blind spot” nearby?
      Or a “Blind as a bat spot” that you can still “see” using sonar?

      Aug 4, 2008 at 4:24 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #31.2   se

      Is possible that the absolute blind spot is caused by too much Absolut.

      Aug 4, 2008 at 4:46 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #31.3   Mishee bang

      That would be Absolut Ray Charles.

      Aug 4, 2008 at 4:48 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #31.4   Canthz_B bang

      se, I toast that comment! Absolut brilliance! :lol:

      Aug 4, 2008 at 4:48 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #31.5   secondsout bang

      George Carlin has a bit about “legally drunk.” If it’s legal, what’s the problem? Officer, leave that man alone, he’s legally drunk.

      Aug 4, 2008 at 5:35 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #32   Scaryduck

    Pay your road tax, there’s a chap.

    Otherwise, top work.

    Aug 4, 2008 at 4:18 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #33   Canthz_B bang

    The ex-ambulance has a bumper sticker that reads: “My other car is a used hearse”.

    Aug 4, 2008 at 5:38 pm   rating: 10  small thumbs up

    • #33.1   Miss Unloop

      Whilst his other car is probably actually a Vauxhall Nova…

      Aug 4, 2008 at 11:55 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #34   secondsout bang

    Does anyone else like how the guy is complaining that the thing blocks his view, and asks that he at least move it to the other side of the street? As in, please, block someone else’s view! Their view is less important than ours.

    Aug 4, 2008 at 6:07 pm   rating: 10  small thumbs up

    • #34.1   Miss Unloop

      What he’s not saying is that the people across the road are Welsh, and are probably on the dole anyway.

      Aug 4, 2008 at 11:53 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #35   CitizenEditor

    This is exactly the sort of shit that makes Milton Keynes the worst place in the country. What happens when you live around concrete cows to long (and they’re actually metal…)

    Aug 4, 2008 at 6:33 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

    • #35.1   bellabeastie

      Curious — “concrete cows”?

      Please help me out here.

      ” live around them too long” — and they are actually metal.

      Do you live in some sort of parallel universe or have been abducted by aliens?

      If I EVER meet someone named Milton Keynes I will shoot him with my lazer so I know none of this nasty stuff happens to me. sheesh.

      Aug 5, 2008 at 12:22 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #35.2   Mishee bang

      Those poor cows. They are victim to many a vandal I suppose…

      Bella – just wikipedia it.

      Aug 5, 2008 at 12:31 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #35.3   bellabeastie

      Thanks — Mishee…. Can I interest you in a round of “cow tipping” ?

      Better yet let’s dress them up like Barbie ! Big girls gets the pink prom dress !!

      Milton Keynes shall forever remain in the dundgeon of possible vacation destinations.

      Aug 5, 2008 at 1:04 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #35.4   Mishee bang

      I hear that bella!! I would rather go see those Dinosaurs that were in Pee Wee’s Big Adventure.

      Aug 5, 2008 at 1:11 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #36   TH

    Whatever, Michael. When asshats abandon their cars in my neighborhood because we’re one of the few places in the city that doesn’t require parking permits or have strict hour regulations, I wait the mandated three days and then I call the SFDPT to have their asses towed. My street isn’t your free long-term parking; I LIVE HERE. I am disabled and would like to be able to park within walking distance of my house. Park on your own damn street!

    Aug 4, 2008 at 7:12 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #37   Canthz_B bang

    Why all of his whining as the price declines on periscopes?

    Aug 4, 2008 at 7:54 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #37.1   Miss Unloop

      I was wondering the same thing… pretty soon, they’ll be standard equipment in all motor vehicles.

      Aug 4, 2008 at 8:30 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #38   Troy McClure bang

    Job 1:21: “The British created the English language, and the British have destroyed it; blessed be the name of the British.”

    Aug 4, 2008 at 8:44 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #38.1   Canthz_B bang

      Do they speak Aramaic in Heaven?

      Aug 4, 2008 at 8:53 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #38.2   PandoraWombat bang

      “the Castle of…. AAAAAAAAUGH”

      He must have died while carving it.

      Aug 4, 2008 at 8:55 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #38.3   Miss Unloop

      He was suddenly attacked by an Aramaic-speaking killer wabbit.

      Aug 4, 2008 at 10:14 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #38.4   Canthz_B bang

      LOL

      That was Jimmy Carter!

      LOL

      Aug 4, 2008 at 10:23 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #38.5   Miss Unloop

      LOL! You’re slayin’ me, CB!

      Aug 4, 2008 at 11:50 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #38.6   Canthz_B bang

      I have my lucid days.
      I go back to Happydale Farms on Wednesday. ;-)

      Aug 5, 2008 at 12:47 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #38.7   Miss Unloop

      When you get back there and resume your occupational therapy, could you please make us a macrame unitard? Thanks!

      Aug 5, 2008 at 1:15 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #38.8   Mishee bang

      Run away!

      (that’s the only killer rabbit I know of!!)

      Aug 5, 2008 at 1:25 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #39   aaa

    Here I thought we Americans were the kings of entitled dickery, but Michael in Milton Keynes, England proves me wrong. Tempted nothing. You did purchase something and abandon it there. What are you getting so pissy for? You’d think the calls from the abandoned vehicle unit and the police might’ve been a clue to stop being dicking everyone else over and move your damn ambulance.

    Sorry fella, but you fail big time.

    Aug 4, 2008 at 8:56 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

     
  • #40   PandoraWombat bang

    I’m glad to hear that they might contact the Police. If the people of Priory Street could get Sting to host a benefit, maybe they could raise enough money to buy Michael a Fucking Clue!

    Aug 4, 2008 at 9:31 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

    • #40.1   Canthz_B bang

      At least enough cash to buy a signature on a so-called petition in their names.

      Aug 4, 2008 at 9:38 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #40.2   aaa

      Pssh, why use money when you can go the cheap and ineffective way with PetitionOnline.com?

      Aug 4, 2008 at 9:39 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #41   RP

    I wish the OP had said why he left an ambulance on a different street. Was there no parking available on his own street? Are there no driveways for the houses or apartments on his street?

    Maybe it’s just me but leaving a vehicle someplace where you’re not even going to see it…he wasn’t worried about theft or damage to the vehicle? I’m guessing he didn’t check on it at all before he decided to move it since they probably left the note before calling the police.

    Aug 4, 2008 at 10:34 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #42   patrick

    I can identify

    Aug 4, 2008 at 10:51 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #43   Yash

    The sad thing. Milton Keynes is built exactly so you DON’T need to drive your car or van all the time – cycle lanes and walkways (offroad) everywhere. And most estates have loads more parkjing than they need. This guy probably wasn;t evenm causing a problem just arsey neighbours.

    And hey when diesel costs £1.259 a litre (US$2.63 – nearly US$10/gallon!!) do you expect him really to drive it every day??

    Aug 5, 2008 at 2:59 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #43.1   aaa

      Obviously it was causing some sort of problem if the police gave him a few calls. And if there’s so much parking everywhere, why didn’t he park it in front of his own residence? Or at least not keep it in a place where it was an inconvenience and obviously pissed off the people people living there. (And the government. And the police.) Who cares how much gas costs? High gas prices are no excuse for being a dick about parking your vehicle.

      Aug 5, 2008 at 6:12 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #43.2   secretrebel

      It wasn’t even taxed so it was illegally parked. The police would have had it towed if Michael hadn’t removed it.

      However high the price of gas you may not drive a car at all without road tax. And you can’t leave it on the street either when untaxed, it must be off the road. The Priory Street people did the right thing by calling the police and it was kind of them to warn Michael of what he should already have known.

      Aug 5, 2008 at 7:29 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #43.3   Mishee bang

      Who the hell still drives a deisel??

      Aug 5, 2008 at 11:41 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #43.4   KarlDiesel

      Jawohl du schones madchen Mishee. Ich diesel fahrzueg fahren.

      Aug 5, 2008 at 11:49 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #43.5   KarlDiesel

      Inga: He vould have an enormous schwanzstucker.
      Dr. F F: That goes without saying.
      Inga: Voof.
      Igor: He’s going to be very popular.

      Aug 5, 2008 at 11:58 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #43.6   Canthz_B bang

      Road tacks are bad for tires.

      Aug 5, 2008 at 12:30 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #43.7   Mishee bang

      ok, who here speaks German??

      Aug 5, 2008 at 12:32 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #43.8   Timo bang

      It is probably some rogue forest gnome.

      Aug 5, 2008 at 12:35 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #43.9   bellabeastie

      Duh CB — it’s Road TAX –

      Well- pretty much the same when you think about it. Hmm.

      Sorry, Mish, no German — grandparents left it in the Old Country. Lager, Bratwurst, some other mostly inedible foodstuffs is all I know.

      OH –eww sauerkraut.

      Aug 5, 2008 at 12:49 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #43.10   aaa

      Ich habe Deustch gern nicht.

      All I can figure out is something about diesel and driving.

      Aug 5, 2008 at 10:38 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #43.11   amy d bang

      Maybe it’s an ad for Diesel Driving Academy?

      Aug 5, 2008 at 10:42 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #43.12   Wade bang

      I’m not sure why beautiful girls would care if he drives a diesel vehicle. :P

      Aug 5, 2008 at 10:44 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #44   Canthz_B bang

    It never pays dividends to raise the ire of an arsey neighbour in Milton Keynes.
    That’s almost as bad as pissing of an asshole neighbor in Ames, Iowa!

    Aug 5, 2008 at 4:08 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #44.1   Miss Unloop

      “Dear Neighbor,

      Thank you for parking this marvellous horse-drawn carriage outside our farms…”?

      Aug 5, 2008 at 1:22 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #44.2   Mishee bang

      I’m thinking that would be more Dutch territory in Pennsylvania.

      Everyone knows that in Iowa the popular mode of transportation is hot air balloon. Contrary to popular belief, Dorothy wasn’t from Kansas, but instead the neighboring state of Iowa. L. Frank Baum changed it in his final draft because he didn’t want a huge tourism rush to flood Iowa… and knew nobody would ever want to go to Kansas, even if Dorothy was from there!

      And yes, it is in black and white.

      Aug 5, 2008 at 1:28 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #44.3   Miss Unloop

      Oh, when I lived in Iowa, we had our fair share of Amish… but my mother once misheard my sister and said, “What? The President is arriving by balloon?”

      Are you stalking me now?

      Aug 5, 2008 at 5:27 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #44.4   Mishee bang

      What goes around comes around Miss U!

      Also, I suppose there ARE Amish in Iowa, but I was specifically thinking of Ames as CB referenced.

      It’s a college town, so I guess I just didn’t imagine it there (my daddy grew up in Ames I spent my childhood summers there – hell, you could be my cousin for all I know!!) I would hate to see the horse and buggies after Homecoming Week – those poor horses are never quite the same after that…

      Aug 5, 2008 at 5:49 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #44.5   Miss Unloop

      I tell ya, that hazing can be hell!

      Aug 5, 2008 at 6:28 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #44.6   Miss Unloop

      Apologies, Mishee – I realized that I was actually thinking of Amana, Iowa… must’ve had an acute case of paroxysmal cerebral asystole!

      Aug 5, 2008 at 10:33 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #45   DirtyOldLady bang

    Polite Reply

    Dear Polite Person in #11 Priory Street,

    Thank you for your marvellous note. Since I do not wish to cause an absolute blind spot for you whilst coming out of your driveway, I have opted to simply park in front of your driveway instead, thus protecting you from any risk associated with exiting your property. I trust this resolves the situation to our mutual satisfaction.

    Sincerely,
    the asshole who can’t be bothered to pay his road tax or keep up with his unsightly vehicle

    Aug 5, 2008 at 7:03 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

     
  • #46   secretrebel

    Team polite notice, all the way. The ambuvan isn’t even taxed so it’s not allowed to park on the street and Michael could have parked it on the other side of the road from all the driveways. No wonder the residents of Priory Street are annoyed with him.

    I share their pain since I too have a giant van parked outside my house which is difficult/dangerous to get round on a bicycle. I haven’t sent a PAN to the owner but I’ve thought about it pretty hard.

    Aug 5, 2008 at 7:26 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #46.1   Mishee bang

      Who the hell still drives a diesel??

      Aug 5, 2008 at 11:42 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #46.2   Mishee bang

      Dammit! That was supposed to be in the #43 thread… damn you Ajax editor and being down for forever!!!

      Aug 5, 2008 at 11:43 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #47   Mickey Blue Eyes

    I’d say the OP is the ass in this picture. Who buys a worn out gov’t vehicle and the parks it around the corner from where they live (so they don’t have to look at it themselves?) and then [intentionally/unintentionally] abandons/leaves it there for weeks. It makes perfect sense to me that someone would be upset at having a POS vehicle abandoned in front of their house.

    I wouldn’t have been as courteous as them to leave a note. I’d have called the cops and reported it abandoned if it hadn’t moved in weeks.

    Aug 5, 2008 at 8:20 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #48   banana

    What the f%#k were the cops doing making a couple of polite calls? If someone so much as slows down out the front of MY house they’ll see the hollow end of a sawn off.

    Hang the bastard!

    Aug 5, 2008 at 8:43 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #49   zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

    The muffin man is seated at the table in the laboratory of the utility muffin Research kitchen.

    Aug 5, 2008 at 11:30 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #50   Journal of Social Awkwardness

    I love how it’s titled “Polite Notice.” If you call yourself polite, no one can possibly accuse you of being rude!

    Aug 5, 2008 at 12:02 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #51   bellabeastie

    My Landlord called the cops on the 3rd floor tenant when she parked on the street and her Dad pulled into her parking space. In the all-sainted driveway. He was there for 1/2 hr.

    Said He “didn’t recognize the car”. Cops came, Dad was PISSED, tenant moves out within the month. And I’m right behind her. Another case of Righteous Politeness Run Afoul.

    But – really, Mikey, don’t park your stuff for weeks where it doesn’t belong.

    Just Rude, Dude.

    Aug 5, 2008 at 12:35 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #52   wont bang

    What does it take in the UK to get a nuisance vehicle removed? Could it be a security hazard? Take it out in a field and detonate it.

    Aug 5, 2008 at 1:13 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #53   Miss Unloop

    Take it to a Manchester United football match and paint it with the opposing club’s colors – let the football hooligans take care of the rest.

    Aug 5, 2008 at 1:26 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #53.1   SchrodingersDuck

      You might get a more prompt and thorough job if you put a West Ham logo on it and leave it out the Millwall stadium. And it’s nearer to Milton Keynes, too.

      Aug 5, 2008 at 2:01 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #54   Fern

    PS: Reminder. The Priory Street block party is this Friday. Hope to see you there!

    Aug 5, 2008 at 2:42 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #55   Zita

    Jesus Christ. That is the best and most awkwardly phrased line ever:

    “This vehicle seems to now spend endless time being parked here.”

    Passive voice much?

    Aug 5, 2008 at 3:30 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #55.1   Timo bang

      The new fragrance from Colvin Clien -

      Endless Ambulance.

      Now at M&S.

      Aug 5, 2008 at 3:53 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #55.2   Mishee bang

      Funny Timo, I could’ve sworn it was a duet sang by Lionel Richie and Diana Ross… oh… wait…

      Nevermind.

      Aug 6, 2008 at 1:40 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #55.3   secondsout bang

      No, Mishee, you’re thinking about “Endless Love,” a song about Stevie Wonder and Ray Charles playing tennis.

      Aug 6, 2008 at 2:01 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #55.4   Mishee bang

      great, sout is gonna get me fired.

      Aug 6, 2008 at 2:04 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #55.5   Mishee bang

      I assume Ronnie Milsap is the umpire? (this is the correct term – I wikipedia’d it)

      Aug 6, 2008 at 2:05 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #55.6   Mark bang

      Nope. Helen Keller.

      Aug 6, 2008 at 2:20 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #55.7   secondsout bang

      Jeff Healey is the ball boy.

      Aug 6, 2008 at 2:21 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #55.8   Timo bang

      The Line Judge is Jose Feliciano.

      Aug 6, 2008 at 2:22 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #55.9   Mishee bang

      I thought Helen Keller was the announcer for ESPN – The Ocho

      Aug 6, 2008 at 2:25 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #55.10   Timo bang

      If it is barely a sport you can find it here on the Ocho!

      Aug 6, 2008 at 2:39 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #55.11   Mishee bang

      I swear to GOD I saw the “World Series of Rock, Paper, Scissors” on ESPN while flipping through the listings one day, like a year ago…

      Aug 6, 2008 at 5:17 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #55.12   Mishee bang

      Dammit!!!!

      Damn you Ajax Editor!! And damn your eyes too!!!!

      Aug 6, 2008 at 5:17 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #55.13   Mishee bang

      Oh look, a preview button!

      Aug 6, 2008 at 5:18 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #56   ugh

    Michael, you are a complete douche and I don’t know why this was posted on passiveaggressivenotes because it’s not even funny. It’s just some bastard inconveniencing people and increasing the risk of a car accident.

    Aug 6, 2008 at 1:36 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #57   Ryan

    Can’t agree on that one. This note IS passive aggressive. It has all the makings of a straight forward note requesting action but the tone changes (i.e. “marvellous vehicle”) and then there’s the not so veiled threat.

    (Why not a friendly request? There is no mention of the van being parked in an illegal spot – just one that people didn’t like.)

    The bottom line is they don’t like the ugly van and they are seriously reaching….

    And then there’s the fact that the note is anonymous signed by “All” who dwell on the street. Doesn’t it occur to them that they are addressing the note to one of their own neighbors?!??!

    Aug 6, 2008 at 4:39 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #58   agong

    To RB;

    “feel around in his backpack, is that a canister?”

    I bet he drove an ex-ambulance!

    Aug 7, 2008 at 5:01 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #59   moggie

    You seriously need to have that piece of shit ex-service ambulance crammed up your arse.

    I’M NOT YOUR BUDDY, GUY!

    Aug 12, 2008 at 2:42 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #60   Peter Yumi

    Hardly any of the letters featured on your website are passive aggressive, they are rather to the point.
    Passive Aggressive:
    the expression of negative feelings, resentment, and aggression in an unassertive passive way (such as through procrastination and stubbornness)

    Aug 17, 2008 at 12:55 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #60.1   anglophile bang

      *taps Peter Yumi on the shoulder*

      Um, you might want to read this before continuing on the website.

      Aug 17, 2008 at 1:07 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #60.2   Mishee bang

      At least we know peter knows how to use http://www.m-w.com

      Aug 17, 2008 at 2:24 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #61   Peter Yumi

    I already read that. The notes are still pretty straight forward though. I understand the spirit of your website, however the letters are not passive aggressive in the least. I do think most of the letters are funny, but most of them seem to come out of frustration from people who have been the victims of theft, for some reason I am unable to read some of the letters which seem genuine with a tongue and cheek ironic attitude. That being said, I still enjoy your website, no need to be defensive.

    Aug 17, 2008 at 1:28 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #62   newzzun bang

    Move your fucking van, Michael!

    Jan 11, 2009 at 5:42 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #63   maybe if you had just an itty-bitty limp?

    [...] related: mahvelous, just mahvelous [...]

    Feb 17, 2009 at 11:22 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     

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