Massive canine infestation

August 5th, 2008 · 217 comments

Tom from Cambridge, England spotted this notice posted in “the tiniest little toilet in my college hall” — so tiny, he says, there’s “barely enough room to fit a dog in there if you tried.” (But a few raw steaks? Perhaps!)

Due to massive canine infestation we must ask you to please not leave any uncovered food out in this bathroom. Thank you Housekeeping

(Massive Canine Infestation: sharing the stage with The Light Brown Apple Moth Debacle at a Warped Tour show near you!)

related: So many questions

FILED UNDER: bathroom · CAPS LOCK · college life · food · fun with malapropisms · Say wha? · toilet · U.K. · vermin · WTF?


217 responses so far ↓

  • #1   Quite Contrary

    I’m not really clear on why they are thanking housekeeping for the canine infestation.

    Aug 5, 2008 at 6:06 pm   rating: 28  small thumbs up

    • #1.1   PandoraWombat bang

      Because neither Terry nor Sandra were available. Duh!

      Aug 5, 2008 at 6:14 pm   rating: 15  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.2   Mishee bang

      I saw anytime stan in line at the unemployment dept. he’s available!

      Aug 5, 2008 at 6:16 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.3   tomservo bang

      Thank You Housekeeping?

      “Dammit Marjorie, who keeps leaving all these Thank You’s around? It will take me all morning to get rid of them all!”

      Aug 6, 2008 at 9:08 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #2   zombieBlanco bang

    Mishee!

    Aug 5, 2008 at 6:06 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #2.1   Mishee bang

      zombie!!

      Aug 5, 2008 at 6:09 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.2   Mishee bang

      usually I wait until we hit comment #75 or so before I try to turn the thread to the subject me and all my gloriousness… although you show initiative zB.. I like that.

      Aug 5, 2008 at 6:12 pm   rating: 12  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.3   zombieBlanco bang

      you know I lurves you ♥

      Aug 5, 2008 at 6:13 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.4   Mishee bang

      I’m gonna say that this thread has served its purpose and now its probably time to turn to the topic to “You-Know-Who”….

      anyone want to start off the conversation?

      Aug 7, 2008 at 10:42 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.5   Mark bang

      WTF does Voldemort have to do with anything?

      Aug 7, 2008 at 10:49 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.6   Mishee bang

      Well… for one… I bet if Voldemort wanted to bring a dog in the bathroom with him, nobody would stop him….

      Aug 7, 2008 at 11:01 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.7   amy d bang

      WTFWVD?

      Aug 7, 2008 at 11:01 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.8   Voldemort

      Mishee – now don’t you be dragging me into things! I don’t need you to sully my good name!!!!

      Aug 7, 2008 at 11:08 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.9   se

      You would love to have Mishee drag you anywhere, anytime.

      Aug 7, 2008 at 11:15 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.10   RunBarbara bang

      Mishee drug me down a Slip N’ Slide once. It was the hottest four minutes of my entire life, even when we hit the tree root.
      .
      .
      .
      “tree root”

      Aug 7, 2008 at 11:20 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.11   Hermione

      I have a “magic wand” that is like a tree root. It takes three “C” batteries and is pink.

      Aug 7, 2008 at 12:31 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.12   Mishee bang

      See what happens with the PANGoddess leaves us unsupervised for too long??

      Aug 7, 2008 at 12:45 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.13   Harry Potter

      Hey Hermione – I’ve got a “magic wand” right here for you…

      I bet you give great Hed-wig…

      Aug 7, 2008 at 1:05 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.14   CharlieWeasley

      Anyone wanna see my “dragon”? It doesnt breath fire, but it spits.

      Aug 7, 2008 at 1:07 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.15   Mishee bang

      I wonder if Bertie Bott also has a line of “Every Flavored Condoms” – that would be interesting…

      Aug 7, 2008 at 1:14 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.16   SeverusSnape

      She makes the death eaters look like amateurs. But Luna Lovegood is amazing!

      Aug 7, 2008 at 1:51 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.17   DracoMalfoy

      Slytherins have the biggest snakes!

      Aug 7, 2008 at 1:53 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.18   Mishee bang

      Of course Luna is amazing… haven’t you ever heard of Barney Stinson’s “Crazy/Hot Scale” – the crazier they are… well, you get the picture…

      Aug 7, 2008 at 1:55 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.19   Hermoine

      Bertie’s Everyflavored condom’s

      -Hmmm this one is very fruit forward with cherry notes and a chocolate finish. 91

      Aug 7, 2008 at 1:56 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.20   Gilroy Lockhart

      Give me a crazy girl with esteem issues and a predilection to punishment my weekend is set.

      Aug 7, 2008 at 2:03 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.21   Gilderoy Lockhart

      I am sorry I forgot how to spell my own name. I have forgotten so much lately.

      Aug 7, 2008 at 2:08 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.22   Mishee bang

      Gilroy – you smell garlicky.

      Have you heard from your brother Gilderoy lately?

      Aug 7, 2008 at 2:08 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.23   Gilroy/Gilderoy

      My festival is filled with garlicy goodness my child! :grin:

      Aug 7, 2008 at 3:14 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #3   zchamu

    Baroo?

    Aug 5, 2008 at 6:07 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

    • #3.1   amazon bang

      zchamu reads cute overload!

      http://www.squidgrid.com/cute/Glossary.htm#Baroo

      That’s ok, I do too. Its cuteness balances out all the snarkiness from this site. ;)

      Aug 5, 2008 at 7:53 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.2   aaa

      Kickass!

      Although there’s plenty of snark on CO, amazon. But that’s mostly relegated to posts in the “Cats ‘n Racks” section, ones featuring humans, or ones where somebody has decided the action in the photo “R TEH ABYOOSE!!!” I must admit, I love commentroversy. It amuses me greatly.

      Aug 5, 2008 at 10:44 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #4   zombieBlanco bang

    Massive canine infestation or not, why the hell do you have food in the bathroom?

    Aug 5, 2008 at 6:08 pm   rating: 34  small thumbs up

    • #4.1   Quite Contrary

      I’ll see your food in the bathroom question and ask why do they have dogs in the bathroom?

      Aug 5, 2008 at 6:09 pm   rating: 28  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.2   ama

      ’cause it’s HOT dogs. win-win!

      Aug 5, 2008 at 7:34 pm   rating: 11  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.3   Sue Do Nim

      So, is covered food ok to keep in the bathroom?

      Aug 5, 2008 at 7:55 pm   rating: 14  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #5   katrina

    please -do not leave food in the feminine hygiene receptacle either….it is being monitored

    Aug 5, 2008 at 6:08 pm   rating: 21  small thumbs up

    • #5.1   RunBarbara

      what kind of food would be lurking inside one of those things?
      blood pudding? tampon tempura?

      Aug 5, 2008 at 6:24 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.2   se

      Angel hair spaghetti w/sausage

      Aug 5, 2008 at 6:59 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.3   RunBarbara bang

      i love anything with sausage in it.
      and i mean anything.

      Aug 5, 2008 at 7:06 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.4   Canthz_B bang

      You do love yourself, RB.
      Now tickle my sausage some more! :-P

      Aug 5, 2008 at 7:19 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.5   Mishee bang

      *mutters under breath*

      sausage wallet

      Aug 5, 2008 at 7:49 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.6   amazon bang

      Frank ‘n beans!

      Aug 5, 2008 at 7:54 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.7   Michelle

      sausage wallet?

      Does someone have a Girls Next Door guilty pleasure?

      Aug 6, 2008 at 10:26 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.8   Mishee bang

      I was lazy one day and Chelsea Lately ended and those damn fucking girls came on and I couldn’t find the remote… I started to panic and then I realized the computer was in front of me, so I went to PAN…

      And I listened. Probably the ONLY episode I ever saw all the way through, cause I wanted to see Kendra insult the Queen…

      Aug 6, 2008 at 10:43 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #6   Mishee bang

    I remember when I had a canine infestation. They got all in the walls and the crawl space… I finally had to run the vacuum cleaner for 4 days before they all scrambled out of my house and back into the wild.

    Aug 5, 2008 at 6:09 pm   rating: 42  small thumbs up

    • #6.1   Sydney

      When you see one canine on the floor, you know there’s 100 more in the walls.

      Aug 5, 2008 at 7:45 pm   rating: 30  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.2   ama

      the massive canines are the worst!

      Aug 5, 2008 at 8:04 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.3   Mishee bang

      I have issues when mastiff canines get into my cupboards…

      like a bull in a china shop, I swear!

      Aug 5, 2008 at 8:11 pm   rating: 10  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.4   snee bang

      poodles in the cupboards really annoy me. they think they’re so fancy and shit, like they’re doing you a favour!

      Aug 5, 2008 at 8:28 pm   rating: 19  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #7   Wade bang

    Bathrooms meals are strictly covered dish!

    Aug 5, 2008 at 6:10 pm   rating: 11  small thumbs up

    • #7.1   RunBarbara

      i wonder if bathroom dishes come in stolen ramekins….

      Aug 5, 2008 at 6:21 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #8   Mishee bang

    While we are on the subject… who the fuck brings any food, let alone UNCOVERED food into the bathroom??

    Aug 5, 2008 at 6:11 pm   rating: 10  small thumbs up

    • #8.1   Martin Heidegger

      Probably the same people who eat stir fry in the biology lab on dissection day. I kid you not, I was working in there dissecting botulism birds and some bloke (presumably a student, but who knows) walked in and nonchalantly dug into his stir fry. Here I am cracking a ribcage and wearing rubber gloves because these birds fucking died of botulism poisoning, and he thinks nothing of the fact that he may as well be eating salmon mousse.

      Aug 5, 2008 at 6:25 pm   rating: 20  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.2   Mishee bang

      Dr. House always wants it to be botulism.

      It never is.

      Aug 5, 2008 at 6:30 pm   rating: 11  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.3   Mark bang

      I thought it was lupus?

      Aug 5, 2008 at 6:35 pm   rating: 15  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.4   Mishee bang

      Mark – I love you too… damn the line!

      Aug 5, 2008 at 6:38 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.5   agirlie

      I once used a portapotty that had a massive amount of popcorn spilled in it, I was puzzled. I was like “Yay, snacks!!” (yuck)

      Aug 5, 2008 at 6:46 pm   rating: 18  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.6   Canthz_B bang

      It takes a hot ass to make corn pop like that! :-P

      Aug 5, 2008 at 6:49 pm   rating: 19  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.7   amy d bang

      What are you eating?

      Buttered popcorn, want some?

      I don’t think that’s butter.

      Aug 5, 2008 at 6:52 pm   rating: 11  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.8   Canthz_B bang

      Ticket sales under the Big Top soar!!

      Aug 5, 2008 at 6:57 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.9   simtpson j

      That sausage was fucking delicious. And dont get me started on the lemonade….

      Aug 5, 2008 at 7:22 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.10   RunBarbara bang

      Tough love time. Get ready for the unitard simtpson.

      Aug 5, 2008 at 7:25 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.11   Canthz_B bang

      Tthat lemonade sounds like a real pisser.

      Aug 5, 2008 at 7:35 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.12   Canthz_B bang

      I, on the other hand, sound like a real stutterer! :-P

      Aug 5, 2008 at 7:37 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.13   Holiday Djinn

      Perhaps the person bringing the food into the bathroom needed a mid poop refresher. A poo-pick me up if you will. Nothing goes better after 10-15 minutes of straining like a nice juicy steak.

      Sometimes, if i think i have enough time, i will take a hot plate into the bathroom with me. I will put on some fajitas’ and hopefully when i am done in the stall, they will be done on the sink counter.

      What can i say? I am a foody.

      Aug 6, 2008 at 8:19 am   rating: 12  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.14   tinkerbell2

      I guess if they were pooping *properly* (poop, flush, wipe, flush, poop a little more, flush twice) it could have taken a long time. Anyone might need some food to sustain them. I live in the UK, and some of our toilets take f-o-r-e-v-e-r to refill after a flush..

      Aug 6, 2008 at 8:46 am   rating: 9  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.15   Sheepish bang

      oooh! lets talk about poo particles again! you all remember that lively debate with the flushing and the lid up/down debate. now we can throw food in the mix! how exciting! i’m sure we can find even more ways to talk about little bits of excrement floating around your tuna sandwich.

      Aug 7, 2008 at 9:40 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #9   PandoraWombat bang

    I think they are talking about canine teeth. Bathrooms often get overrun with canine teeth. But since reporting of this problem is suppressed by the corrupt, teeth-loving media, we never get to hear about the horrors of marauding canine teeth.

    Aug 5, 2008 at 6:11 pm   rating: 12  small thumbs up

     
  • #10   Canthz_B bang

    If they have a problem with massive canines on campus, I’d suggest not enrolling werewolves in night-school.

    Aug 5, 2008 at 6:13 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

    • #10.1   Canthz_B bang

      Drat, Pandora! ;-)

      Aug 5, 2008 at 6:15 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #10.2   Canthz_B bang

      I was going for the tooth angle too! :-D

      Aug 5, 2008 at 6:17 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #10.3   PandoraWombat bang

      @CB: Are there diagnosis or insurance codes for werewolfism?

      Aug 5, 2008 at 6:17 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #10.4   Canthz_B bang

      744.89, Congenital facial anomaly, 704.1, Hirsutism.

      I’m thinking dog-faced boy here.

      Aug 5, 2008 at 6:24 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #10.5   Mark bang

      You mean lycanthropy?

      Aug 5, 2008 at 6:24 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #10.6   RunBarbara

      werewolf!
      werewolf?
      there.
      what?
      There, wolf. There, castle.

      sorry, i couldnt resist…

      Aug 5, 2008 at 6:26 pm   rating: 12  small thumbs up

       
    • #10.7   Canthz_B bang

      Lycanthropy is a mental disorder…298.9

      But that was the term that I couldn’t think of, Mark. nice going! :-)

      Aug 5, 2008 at 6:30 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #10.8   Mishee bang

      RB – I love you more and more each day…

      and then you pull M.Brooks out and I fall in love all over again!!

      Aug 5, 2008 at 6:31 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #11   RunBarbara

    I guess having dogs in the bathroom is the new bidet. The raw steak is to rub around down there in case your big job wasnt appetizing enough.

    Aug 5, 2008 at 6:20 pm   rating: 12  small thumbs up

    • #11.1   Mishee bang

      I hear the “starter TP” is a butter knife in a jar of peanut butter.

      Aug 5, 2008 at 6:21 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.2   RunBarbara

      no, no, no..that is what wives over the world use when their husband is out to sea and unavilable for marital duties.
      also, its what your mom tries to bribe me with to get down there.

      Aug 5, 2008 at 6:23 pm   rating: 12  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.3   Mishee bang

      Choosy Moms choose Jif.

      Aug 5, 2008 at 6:26 pm   rating: 22  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.4   amy d bang

      That is really disgusting.

      Well done, Rb.

      Well done.

      Aug 5, 2008 at 6:37 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.5   RunBarbara bang

      i aim to please, amy. and when pleasing means disgusting, i aim even higher.
      i just wish claw was around, im sure there is a sick and unholy joke lurking under his python.

      *wishes she was lurking under claw’s python*

      Aug 5, 2008 at 6:58 pm   rating: 9  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.6   Miss Unloop

      Hmmmm…

      (quickly amends grocery list to include Skippy and Twizzlers)

      Aug 5, 2008 at 9:52 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.7   Mishee bang

      Miss U I think you are stalking me OR you are my mother…

      My step-dad’s nickname is Skip… we call him Skippy…

      This is spooky!

      Aug 6, 2008 at 8:45 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.8   Miss Unloop

      Okay, I think we need to call an exorcist now, and I’m not kidding!!

      Aug 6, 2008 at 4:02 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.9   wright

      I’m with ya, Missy U! Remember the time we were slam-dancing with Amy and all the buttons on her new coat came off? We searched for minutes, hours, days, WEEKS and did not find one. Single. Button.

      Not to mention that this morning it was so cold that my head almost fell off on the way to work! Obviously, another Ice Age is approaching… Get an exorcist in here, stat!

      Aug 6, 2008 at 8:28 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.10   Miss Unloop

      We need to build a spaceship and find our own planet, and I’m not kidding now!!!!!!!

      Oh my God, is that Amy?

      Aug 8, 2008 at 3:12 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.11   Miss Unloop

      Wright, thanks for catching the KITH reference!

      Aug 8, 2008 at 3:13 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.12   Jahzzie

      I’ll take Peter Pan’s Penis, er peanut buter any day.
      ( it was actually on sale the other day 3 for $5)

      Aug 9, 2008 at 1:41 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #12   Canthz_B bang

    Who let the dogs in…

    Aug 5, 2008 at 6:27 pm   rating: 10  small thumbs up

     
  • #13   amy d bang

    This is what happens when you teach dogs to use the toilet.

    Aug 5, 2008 at 6:40 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

    • #13.1   Mishee bang

      That’s why I just send them over to the neighbors yard… out of sight, out of mind!! :D

      Aug 5, 2008 at 6:41 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #14   Miss Unloop

    Rabid dogs infesting a toilet? Very French…

    Aug 5, 2008 at 6:53 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #14.1   amy d bang

      Does your dog bite?

      Aug 5, 2008 at 6:55 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #14.2   Canthz_B bang

      When they ask if Rocky bites I always say: “He has teeth.”

      Aug 5, 2008 at 7:01 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #14.3   amy d bang

      Nice doggie

      *gets bitten*

      I thought you said your dog did not bite!

      Aug 5, 2008 at 7:50 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #14.4   Canthz_B bang

      *smiles because he knows amy_d’s lawsuit will keep her in his life for years to come..

      Aug 5, 2008 at 7:53 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #14.5   PandoraWombat bang

      zat is not my dog.

      Aug 5, 2008 at 8:50 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #14.6   amy d bang

      Thank you.

      Aug 5, 2008 at 8:50 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #14.7   PandoraWombat bang

      You’re so very welcome. One of my favorite bits. Would have completed it earlier, only I just got home.

      Aug 5, 2008 at 8:58 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #14.8   Mishee bang

      great now I have Lane Myer’s mother’s voice in my head telling us for dinner there will be “fronch bread, fronch fries, and to drink, Peru!”

      Aug 5, 2008 at 8:59 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #14.9   Canthz_B bang

      Should have known something was afoot from amy’s italics. D’oh!
      I give…what movie?

      Aug 6, 2008 at 12:25 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #14.10   Amy

      The Pink Panther Strikes Again, C_B. Also featuring:

      Shocked woman: You’ve ruined that piano!
      Clouseau: What is the price of one piano compared to the terrible crime that’s been committed here?
      Shocked woman: But that’s a priceless Steinway!
      Clouseau: Not anymore.

      Aug 6, 2008 at 8:47 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #15   Canthz_B bang

    I sure wouldn’t like t0 in-”cur” the wrath of the housekeeping staff.

    Aug 5, 2008 at 7:06 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #15.1   Wade bang

      I hear they can be rather “pug”-nacious.

      Aug 5, 2008 at 7:17 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #15.2   Canthz_B bang

      The nerve!
      In this flea-bitten place?!

      Aug 5, 2008 at 7:21 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #16   anglophile bang

    Uncovered food in the bathroom? Ew! I read once whenever you flush the toilet, it sprays a mist of toilet water all over the bathroom! Gross!

    Where did I read that?

    Aug 5, 2008 at 7:16 pm   rating: 29  small thumbs up

    • #16.1   Mishee bang

      oh shit glo, I never heard of that! I better go hide my toothbrush in the kitchen then.

      Aug 5, 2008 at 7:43 pm   rating: 9  small thumbs up

       
    • #16.2   secondsout bang

      Dammit, you snagged my joke! I guess I should get here sooner than 18 hours late.

      You also don’t want the invisible shit mist to get all over your massive canines. When they roll on the carpet, it gets everywhere. Then again, screw the invisible shit mist. The dogs probably rolled in visible shit, or possibly a raccoon carcass anyway.

      Aug 6, 2008 at 12:20 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #16.3   anglophile bang

      Yeah, 2nds, I was an hour late an was surprised the obvious joke hadn’t been made yet. ;)

      Aug 6, 2008 at 12:31 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #16.4   Mishee bang

      I have a feeling the toilet mist comment is going to appear in almost every bathroom PAN from now on..

      That’s fine with me, as long it isn’t all in CAPs and signed by THX SANDRA.

      Aug 6, 2008 at 12:34 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #16.5   amy d bang

      2nds, you could just go ahead and make the reference again. I seem to recall that happening last time.

      Aug 6, 2008 at 1:30 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #16.6   secondsout bang

      Well, I could, but it appears to have been debunked on “Mythbusters.”

      Aug 6, 2008 at 1:58 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #17   ama

    since when have dogs been demoted to the level of termites, mice, and roaches? oh well, call the exterminator…

    Aug 5, 2008 at 7:17 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #17.1   Canthz_B bang

      Might need an extreme-inater for this big job.

      Aug 5, 2008 at 7:40 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #17.2   Mishee bang

      I guess that gives a whole new meaning to the phrase Over-Spay

      Aug 5, 2008 at 7:47 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #17.3   Timo bang

      This never happens in my home!

      -Bob Barker

      Aug 6, 2008 at 12:53 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #18   Miss Unloop

    Allow beef to urinate uncovered at room temperature for at least one hour.

    Aug 5, 2008 at 7:19 pm   rating: 17  small thumbs up

    • #18.1   ama

      is this a John McCain joke?

      Aug 5, 2008 at 7:28 pm   rating: 9  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #19   Wade bang

    This sounds like a breed specific rule against my chow.

    Aug 5, 2008 at 7:23 pm   rating: 13  small thumbs up

    • #19.1   Canthz_B bang

      Not to mention all Great Danishes.

      that dog won’t hunt, cb

      Aug 5, 2008 at 7:47 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #19.2   Canthz_B bang

      I knew she was bad, but I just couldn’t retriever in time.

      Aug 5, 2008 at 7:50 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #19.3   Timo bang

      Those Bowl-dogs can be unpredictable.

      Aug 6, 2008 at 9:33 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #19.4   morpho

      cb – maybe if you didn’t pinscher

      Aug 6, 2008 at 12:13 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #20   ama

    Due to massive HOUSEKEEPING DISGRUNTLEMENT, we must ask you to please not leave any UNWARRANTED PA NOTES in this bathroom

    THANK YOU DOG HATER!

    Aug 5, 2008 at 7:26 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #21   amy d bang

    I’ve always had a secret fear of a rat or snake crawling in my toilet while I’m on it. Apparently, I also have to worry about having a dog bite me in the ass.

    Aug 5, 2008 at 7:30 pm   rating: 14  small thumbs up

    • #21.1   Holiday Djinn

      Only if you are dining while draining. ;-)

      Aug 6, 2008 at 8:24 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #21.2   secondsout bang

      amy_d, native of Louisiana, still brings her flashlight out to the outhouse for those middle-of-the-night bathroom needs. Rats and snakes are a common problem. Beware the splashback, too.

      Aug 6, 2008 at 12:23 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #22   ama

    dogs eat their own shit… so what’s the problem?

    Aug 5, 2008 at 7:31 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #23   ama

    what kind of a haiku is this??

    Aug 5, 2008 at 7:58 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #24   Sue Do Nim

    Just what did THANK YOU HOUSEKEEPING mean instead of canine infestation? Ants?
    Srsly, I got nothing.

    Aug 5, 2008 at 8:01 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #24.1   PandoraWombat bang

      Well, they didn’t really give us a back story. Or should that be bark story?

      *don’t even bother, I’m on my way out to the Unitent now*

      Aug 5, 2008 at 9:22 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #24.2   Canthz_B bang

      Bark stories are ‘tails’ best told doggy-style?

      Aug 5, 2008 at 9:56 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #24.3   Sue Do Nim

      Ruff crowd.

      Aug 5, 2008 at 11:59 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
    • #24.4   Cowgirlgraphics

      Assinine Infestation?

      Aug 6, 2008 at 11:16 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #25   ama

    maybe they meant un-dis-covered food… like jujubefruit and humzerplatzigberries

    Aug 5, 2008 at 8:10 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #25.1   Mishee bang

      I prefer snozberries… they go good with wallpaper glue.

      Aug 5, 2008 at 8:12 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #25.2   amy d bang

      Hey ama,

      do you speak Japanese?

      Just curious.

      Thanks,
      amy d

      Aug 5, 2008 at 8:12 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #25.3   ama

      careful, snozberries are a gateway drug… and also a euphemism for the male appendage, evidently.

      Aug 5, 2008 at 8:16 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #25.4   ama

      uhhhh…. no. did no take japanese lessons. is it because my name means female deep sea diver? sorry to disappoint!

      Aug 5, 2008 at 8:21 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #25.5   Mishee bang

      “female diver”

      *snort*

      Aug 5, 2008 at 8:24 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #25.6   amy d bang

      Hello, Mish, “deep sea” and you went for “female diver”??????

      Aug 5, 2008 at 8:27 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #25.7   ama

      *backs away slowly*

      Aug 5, 2008 at 8:31 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #25.8   Mishee bang

      I was thinking of the store at the mall in the beginning of Mallrats…

      Rug Munchers

      Aug 5, 2008 at 8:34 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #25.9   PandoraWombat bang

      Thanks a lot. Now I have Cartman’s voice in my head: “Mom says if I wanna be a lesbian, all I have to do is munch this carpet!”

      Aug 5, 2008 at 8:54 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #26   ama

    He ain’t canine, he’s my brother.

    Aug 5, 2008 at 8:27 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #26.1   snee bang

      i heard your sister was the dog. :wink:

      Aug 5, 2008 at 8:34 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #26.2   snee bang

      and by dog, i mean cute, friendly, and playful.

      (unlike those poodles who think they’re all that.)

      Aug 5, 2008 at 8:37 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #27   snee bang

    DUE TO MASSIVE
    CANINE INFESTATION
    WE MUST ASK YOU TO
    PLEASE NOT LEAVE
    ANY CATS OR CHEW TOYS
    OUT IN THIS BATHROOM

    THANK YOU HOUSEKEEPING

    Aug 5, 2008 at 8:42 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

     
  • #28   amy d bang

    DUE TO MASSIVE CANINE INFESTATION WE MUST ASK YOU TO WATCH YOUR STEP

    THANK YOU HOUSEKEEPING

    Aug 5, 2008 at 8:44 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #29   PandoraWombat bang

    DUE TO MASSIVE ALL CAPS INFESTATION AND LACK OF PUNCTUATION WE MUST ASK YOU TO TYPE MORE QUIETLY
    THANK YOU QWERTY

    Aug 5, 2008 at 9:08 pm   rating: 15  small thumbs up

    • #29.1   Mishee bang

      *radios in to headquarters*

      umm, yeah, we’ve got some troublemakers we’re gonna need 3 unitards out here, pronto…

      if they keep it up, they are all gonna get thrown in the Unitent!

      Aug 5, 2008 at 9:13 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #29.2   PandoraWombat bang

      But I thought I would look good in a unitard… *sob*

      Aug 5, 2008 at 9:16 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #29.3   amy d bang

      *runs in and pulls all 3 unitards over Mishee’s head and then spins her around and around and around*

      Aug 5, 2008 at 9:17 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #29.4   PandoraWombat bang

      I think the dingo got my unitard.

      Aug 5, 2008 at 9:23 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #29.5   Miss Unloop

      Don’t worry – we’re currently in negotiations with Crazy Mel’s Unitard Emporium, where they are sold by the pound!

      Aug 5, 2008 at 9:55 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #29.6   Mishee bang

      amy girl, I always did say that You spin me right round, baby
      Right round like a record, baby
      Right round, round, round

      I lurves ya!

      and Pandora, that means you have to proceed straight to the Unitent, do not pass go, do not collect $200.

      Aug 6, 2008 at 11:49 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #29.7   Mishee bang

      Miss U, Crazy Mel’s Unitard Emporium? Isn’t that down over near the 101 next to Spatula City? (spatula city!)

      Aug 6, 2008 at 11:27 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #29.8   Timo

      no no no Mishee that is Speculum Depot! Spatula City is over by the 405.

      Aug 7, 2008 at 9:31 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #30   Goldie

    Due to a massive canine infestation, please keep the toilet lid down at all times. Last time a dog fell in, it took us three days to unclog the toilet. Also, the clogged toilet with a doggy ass sticking out of it completely ruined our dining experience, even when we kept our food covered at all times in this bathroom.

    BON APPETIT HOUSEKEEPING

    Aug 5, 2008 at 9:38 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

     
  • #31   aaa

    Massive canine infestation? Now, is that an infestation of massive canines or an infestation of canines on a massive scale?

    Aug 5, 2008 at 10:35 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #31.1   Miss Unloop

      Either way, it’s pretty effin’ ugly…

      Aug 5, 2008 at 10:59 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #32   Random Troll

    Hello, infidels! he-he-he

    Aug 5, 2008 at 10:57 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #32.1   Goldie

      Oooo, look who’s here! Wanna buy a dog? Cambridge university is selling.

      Aug 5, 2008 at 11:17 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #32.2   Crash bang

      Maybe he want’s to sell one on e-bay…

      Aug 5, 2008 at 11:46 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #33   ama

    due to massive cocaine infestation, we ask that you not leave uncovered spoons in this bathroom. thank you druggies

    Aug 5, 2008 at 11:17 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

     
  • #34   Heather

    Maybe it’s that weird alien-dog thing from the third Aliens movie…?

    Aug 6, 2008 at 12:08 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #35   Andre

    You people.

    You see “canine” and assume “dog”, but I’m telling you, the PAN writer could easily be talking about an infestation of pandas or walruses!

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Caniformia

    Aug 6, 2008 at 2:13 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #35.1   Bellabeastie

      I got kissed by a walrus at Sea World once.

      Talk about fish breath :O

      My kids thought it was really cool. 8)

      Aug 6, 2008 at 2:04 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #35.2   Grade Ape

      HA HA HA… I got kissed by a sea lion at Kings Dominion… I thought I was special, now I’m just sad.

      *thrusts hands in pockets, hangs head and shuffles away*

      Aug 6, 2008 at 6:33 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #36   Russ

    My old apartment was infested with canines.

    http://death-sentences.blogspot.com/

    Aug 6, 2008 at 4:34 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #36.1   Mishee bang

      Russ, your trolling gets you 5 hours in the Unitard. No need to put your damn blog link in the comment, its linked by your name!

      “I’m surrounded by frickin’ idiots!”

      Aug 6, 2008 at 9:16 am   rating: 11  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #37   Crinkle Crinkle

    I find the final “THANKYOU HOUSEKEEPING” at the end a little accusatory.

    The font is a little shorter, which indicates that it’s only a footnote, but the stout bold type makes me think this was written by someone actually blaming the housekeeping.

    My spider senses also tell me the PAN writer has a suspicion that the HOUSEKEEPING may in fact be in cahoots with the offending dog/toilet diner conglomerate.

    Aug 6, 2008 at 5:34 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #38   Crinkle Crinkle

    All this aside, there is nothing more annoying than enjoying a nice lamb kebab on the crapper whilst a slobbering daschund waits at your feet with greedy eyes, waiting for the juicy end bits to get flung on the floor.. I’m seriously thinking of eating my meals on the toilet ALONE from now on.

    Aug 6, 2008 at 6:41 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

     
  • #39   claw71 bang

    If the location had not been clarified I would have bet that this note came from my old office. That place was full of fat ugly women who really did eat in the restroom. I’m not kidding…the maintenance guys were in there on a monthly basis to wrestle Twinkies wrappers out of the toilet.

    Aug 6, 2008 at 7:37 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #39.1   Holiday Djinn

      um, those weren’t “twinkie” wrappers. . . .

      Aug 6, 2008 at 8:28 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #39.2   agirlie

      must fat and ugly go hand in hand? Can one be fat and beautiful?

      Aug 6, 2008 at 11:42 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #40   Crinkle Crinkle

    Bet there were no slavering hounds after those twinkies but.

    Lucky bitches.

    Aug 6, 2008 at 7:43 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #41   DirtyOldLady bang

    Another sad story of a celebrity hitting rock-bottom. He was the star of his own comic strip, and now he’s hanging out in bathrooms looking for scraps of food and affection? I always wondered what would become of Marmaduke in the end; now I wish I didn’t know.

    Aug 6, 2008 at 8:26 am   rating: 10  small thumbs up

     
  • #42   Billy Bobbin for Apples

    Despite not being covered, the Baby Ruth that was floating in the toilet was fucking delicious.

    Aug 6, 2008 at 8:35 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #43   Ben

    Is this another joke about Chinese food?

    Aug 6, 2008 at 8:44 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #44   B Rad

    ok, who let the dogs out?

    Aug 6, 2008 at 9:07 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #45   Timo bang

    “This saturday at Veterans Memorial Coliseum MASSIVE CANINE ATTACK with Rabid Flamingos, Feline Fiduciary and special guests! Bring your 100.3 ROK card and get in half price”

    Aug 6, 2008 at 9:24 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #46   claw71 bang

    Mildred knew the news was going to be bad. She should have called a professional in sooner. Everything she tried…sprays, traps, bait…failed, miserably. Not only did they fail but the pests seemed to increase with each feeble attempt to ward them off. What started off as a spooky little Scottish terrier sneaking under the stalls when people were at their most vulnerable exploded into a massive canine infestation. But budgetary issues forced Mildred to seek frugal solutions at the discount store. Before long the Scottish terrier was joined by a beagle, then a Gordon setter joined the mix. Later came a pair of mastiffs and a three-legged melanoise. Mildred kept diligently setting traps but they always came up empty. The last straw was the quintet of Irish wolfhounds that took up quarter in the tub. The sight of those lanky dogs writhing under the dripping faucet was more than she could stand, so Mildred ignored her boss’ direct orders and called a professional.

    “It’s really quite simple,” Cesar whispered as he handed her the bill, “you can’t leave uncovered food in the bathroom.”

    Aug 6, 2008 at 10:36 am   rating: 22  small thumbs up

    • #46.1   Mishee bang

      I believe his name is actually “Mr. Dog” if you please….

      Aug 6, 2008 at 10:47 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #46.2   Mishee bang

      For those of you who didn’t “Get” my last comment

      Aug 6, 2008 at 11:09 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #46.3   Lurker

      20 points for a slick Dog Whisperer reference.

      Aug 6, 2008 at 12:43 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #46.4   roxy

      I was wondering how many dogs it takes to constitute an infestation. lol

      Aug 7, 2008 at 11:14 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #47   CremeBrulee

    So many questions. WHY is there food in the bathroom? WHY are there dogs in the bathroom? If THANK YOU HOUSEKEEPING didn’t mean dogs, what on earth did they mean? I can’t even come up with a guess…

    Aug 6, 2008 at 11:16 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #47.1   mlo bang

      Perhaps this note was not written by housekeeping, but a concerned resident. The note writer is merely sarcastically thanking housekeeping for initially starting the canine infestation, “gee thanks, housekeeping.” There’s no dash to help signify the note is actually from a member of housekeeping, one cannot truly know if the maid’s mastiff is wreaking havoc in that one particular bathroom.

      Aug 6, 2008 at 11:49 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #48   mrs. pommelhorst

    All I can picture is some asshat taking his German Shepard and sub sammich in while he does his business.

    Methinks they need a multipurpose room. Perhaps a dog run.

    Aug 6, 2008 at 11:59 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #49   Miss Unloop

    It’s from England, so maybe it was Toad-in-the-Hole? Bubble and Squeak? Or perhaps something wobbly in an oyster sauce?

    Aug 6, 2008 at 4:09 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #49.1   PandoraWombat bang

      What about Great Big Spotted Dick?

      Sorry, I just like typing that.

      Aug 6, 2008 at 9:02 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #50   Ryan

    Those are some pretty big fucking rats!

    Aug 6, 2008 at 4:28 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #51   Red Letterboxer

    Sounds like the note-writer may have misidentified that which is being “left out”. I suspect, since this is a bathroom in a college hall, that it’s not uncovered food, but rather rediscovered food. Sort of the opposite of the problem that occured in a previous post.

    Aug 6, 2008 at 4:32 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #52   buttercup78

    C.O.U.S.s, I don’t think they exist…

    Aug 6, 2008 at 5:28 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #53   Brian

    I guess I expect PANs to stand on their own. This one is a little disappointing. No smilie faces. No “you know who you are.” Without the context it would have been completely uninteresting.

    Aug 6, 2008 at 11:16 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #54   plumpdumpling

    I used to keep a running tab of the foods I brought into the bathroom with me for consumption while pooing, and everyone seemed to think it was so weird. Guess I’m not alone.

    Aug 7, 2008 at 11:47 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #54.1   Mishee bang

      No, I don’t think this note is anything like what you just said and I am pretty sure you are alone in what you just stated…

      *backs away slowly*

      Aug 7, 2008 at 11:49 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #54.2   amy d bang

      and weird.

      Aug 7, 2008 at 11:52 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #54.3   Mishee bang

      Really really fucking weird.

      Aug 7, 2008 at 12:00 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #54.4   RunBarbara bang

      your name makes me throw up a little, right in the back of my throat.
      and so does your comment.
      wtf? cant you just read a magazine like everyone else? ive never been hungry enough to eat on the toilet.

      Aug 7, 2008 at 12:03 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #54.5   Mishee bang

      “right in the back of my throat”

      Aug 7, 2008 at 12:10 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #54.6   RunBarbara bang

      “is where your mom likes to hang out”

      Aug 7, 2008 at 12:19 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #54.7   Mishee bang

      why don’t you leave my mom alone?

      I love my mom!

      (and you can too for fifty bucks)

      Aug 7, 2008 at 12:24 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #55   SteamingClam

    I may pee in the kitchen sink but I would never eat in the bathroom. WTF!

    Aug 7, 2008 at 12:27 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #55.1   Mishee bang

      Just like Homer

      “I take a whiskey drink, I take a chocolate drink, and when I have to pee, I use the kitchen sink”

      Aug 7, 2008 at 12:47 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #56   Woman on the Verge bang

    This is so wrong on so many levels. But just for a bit of enlightenment: Those with normal anatomy will not require the use of a toilet IMMEDIATELY upon consuming food. Do you think these people are keeping their food in the bathroom because some moron pushed their fridge into the street when he was pissed off about his $3 coffee? And just what do you do about a canine infestation? Damn, I bet Stephen King has a novel about that.

    Aug 7, 2008 at 12:54 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #57   Woman on the Verge bang

    Massive Canine Infestation would be an awesome name for a band. mishee could be lead singer!

    Aug 7, 2008 at 1:51 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #58   Ana

    I am so bored at work that I did a search to see if “Canine Infestation” was in google and maybe it was a misspelled type of bug. No such luck…. But it did bring me right back to this site! Hurrah!

    Aug 7, 2008 at 3:18 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #59   Sheepish bang

    When I saw canine infestation I thought of those people with the bad teeth. The extra teeth coming out at all the wrong angles.

    That or Vampires. Those canines are massive!

    Aug 7, 2008 at 4:30 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #60   Crinkle Crinkle

    Anna I gave you a rating for #58 but if you had of said “Huzzah” instead you would have gotten a marriage proposal :)

    Aug 8, 2008 at 3:39 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #61   Crinkle Crinkle

    I mean “Ana” not “Anna”…. cripes that just took the wind out of my compliment.

    Aug 8, 2008 at 3:40 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #62   newzzun bang

    That’s one nasty note. A canine infestation makes me think of swarms of Golden Retrievers covering the countertops. And who leaves uncovered food in the bathroom to begin with? The kitchen I understand, but the bathroom????

    Jan 11, 2009 at 5:34 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #63   Also, please do not poop on the ceiling. | PassiveAggressiveNotes.com

    [...] in Cambridge…further evidence of U.K. university students’ curious predilection for eating while [...]

    Dec 13, 2010 at 9:53 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #64   Jon-Pierre

    OH GOD THE ROAMING PACK OF WOLVES IS HERE, QUICK, HIDE YOUR MEAT, HIDE YOUR SNACKS, HIDE YOUR MEAT, HIDE YOUR SNACKS, AND HIDE YOUR CASSEROLE CUZ THEY’RE EATING EVERYTHING OUT THERE

    Jan 11, 2011 at 11:26 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     

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