omar says he found this tucked underneath the windshield his car in noe valley, a neighborhood of san francisco “inhabited by self-centered jackasses — myself included, if you believe this note.”
adds omar: “i should clarify: the author of this masterpiece is talking about residential street parking, not a private/public lot with clearly designated lines or, for that matter, even metered street parking. i like to think of myself as a fairly considerate person; clearly i’m nowhere near considerate enough.” (not by northern californian standards, at least.)
related: the parking class
148 responses so far ↓
#1
Wade
Quoting Carnac the Magnificent. How Burbank.
Aug 10, 2008 at 5:42 pm rating: +18
#2
Adhuil
The last part was taken nearly verbatim from those fake parking tickets you can get at the gag gifts stores. Is plagiarism considerate?
Aug 10, 2008 at 5:57 pm rating: +1
#3
Canthz_B
Is there available parking for a thousand camels ?
Aug 10, 2008 at 5:58 pm rating: +14
#4
Canthz_B
If you’re not self-centered wouldn’t that make you unstable?
Aug 10, 2008 at 6:00 pm rating: +19
#5
Canthz_B
I read that you gain about a ton on the Two Parking Space Diet.
The occasional compact space is okay to consume though.
Aug 10, 2008 at 6:04 pm rating: +10
#6
zombieBlanco
Noe Valley vs. Berkeley
On the next Self Centered Space Consumers!
Aug 10, 2008 at 6:12 pm rating: +4
#7
SchrodingersDuck
They may claim space is hard to come by, but they’ve managed to fill almost an entire sheet of paper with a fairly inconsequential rant, in oversized handwriting that ranges from passive-aggressive cursive to barely-concealed rage scribbles.
Also, love the last minute addition of an “e” in “hard to cume by”, which just makes the original mistake all the more obvious. How North Beach(?).
Aug 10, 2008 at 6:26 pm rating: +16
#8
amy d
How do you consume any parking space? Is their vehicle so heavy that the space becomes a black hole after they park there?
Aug 10, 2008 at 6:33 pm rating: +5
#9
Parking Officer
I always keep a few copies of the parking notice from you park like an asshole in the console. It saves me writing so much.
Aug 10, 2008 at 6:42 pm rating: +11
#10
Wade
I wonder how two 2 selfishly consumed parking spaces taste?
Aug 10, 2008 at 6:46 pm rating: +4
#11
dan
why is it written in two different types of handwriting? how bipolar!
Aug 10, 2008 at 6:52 pm rating: +5
#12
Pook
I can sympathize with the note writer. There’s nothing quite like having to circle for hours because some jerkwad took up two parking spaces.
Aug 10, 2008 at 6:57 pm rating: +6
#13
spastic
@Pook: what about you park behind or in front of some car, they move, and you’re left looking like you took up two spaces when you didn’t?
Aug 10, 2008 at 7:01 pm rating: +15
#14
Rachael
It’s a stupid fucking note but the guy who sent it in should still remember that even in residential areas here in SF, parking’s at a premium.
I have a neighbor who takes up two parking spots over and over and I want to throttle them for it. People spend a ton of time trying to park in my neighborhood since it’s tough and lots of units don’t have parking…
Aug 10, 2008 at 7:04 pm rating: +4
#15
Quite Contrary
I was just at a drive thru atm. On a Sunday afternoon with no one around. I was writing out my deposit slip when someone pulled up behind me. They waited all of 30 seconds before honking their horn at me. It made me write slower.
I pointed to the walk up atm, just above the drive thru atm. Someone got out of their car, went to the atm, and on their way back to their car, screamed at me “do you think this is your personal atm?”
Why, yes I do. And then I went home and otook two parking spots.
Self righteous note writing/horn honking/urban assholes.
Aug 10, 2008 at 7:23 pm rating: +8
#16
RunBarbara
Whenever I ride the BART, I like to spread my legs to take up as many seats as possible. In doing so, I hope to disperse my woman-scent to any eligible persons in my proximity. I am nearing 30 and my child-bearing years are closing in on me; I need to find a mate. Maybe our friend in Noe Valley is doing something similar…
Whats that, you say? The BART is full of homeless people and lesbians?
Then I should stop wearing underwear.
Aug 10, 2008 at 7:35 pm rating: +15
#17
James
The note gets less and less legible as it goes down. I’m not suggesting the writer was rapidly declining in age as they were writing the note, but when you’re messing with powerful ‘flea’ curses, you must be careful what other forces you unleash.
Aug 10, 2008 at 7:36 pm rating: +8
#18
SomaConsumer
As I sat on the curb I hovered over the plate and guarded it with my free hand. My fork flew like the wind and just as I was finishing some dotcom yankwad walked up. “You asshole you consumed both spaces!”. I have to say that yes, yes I did. Go park your Vulva turbo elsewhere.
Aug 10, 2008 at 7:39 pm rating: +8