How Berkeley

August 10th, 2008 · 155 comments

Omar says he found this tucked underneath the windshield his car in Noe Valley, a neighborhood of San Francisco “inhabited by self-centered jackasses — myself included, if you believe this note.”

You are selfishly consuming two 2 parking spaced. How Berkeley.Think next time. Don't be so self-centered. Space, as you know, is hard to come by. May the fleas of a thousand camels invade your armpits.

Adds Omar: “I should clarify: The author of this masterpiece is talking about residential street parking, not a private/public lot with clearly designated lines or, for that matter, even metered street parking. I like to think of myself as a fairly considerate person; clearly I’m nowhere near considerate enough.” (Not by Northern Californian standards, at least.)

related: The parking class

FILED UNDER: Bay Area · California · parking · San Francisco


155 responses so far ↓

  • #1   Wade bang

    Quoting Carnac the Magnificent. How Burbank.

    Aug 10, 2008 at 5:42 pm   rating: 23  small thumbs up

    • #1.1   Canthz_B bang

      Yeeeeesssss!!!!!

      Aug 10, 2008 at 6:07 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.2   SomeGuyWhoNeverComments bang

      You are correct, sir!

      Aug 10, 2008 at 7:13 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.3   snee bang

      HEY-OHHHH!

      Aug 11, 2008 at 12:27 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.4   Mishee bang

      And now, right here on our stage, a really big shoe…”

      wait… oh shit….

      nevermind.

      Aug 11, 2008 at 12:29 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.5   Roy Wood Jr

      Did the fleas invade your armpits?

      Aug 11, 2008 at 5:52 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.6   Miss Unloop

      Roy Wood Jr. from Birmingham? Is that YOU?

      Aug 11, 2008 at 10:57 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #2   Adhuil

    The last part was taken nearly verbatim from those fake parking tickets you can get at the gag gifts stores. Is plagiarism considerate?

    Aug 10, 2008 at 5:57 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #2.1   leo

      I remember those from when I was in 3rd grade!

      Sep 16, 2008 at 1:43 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #3   Canthz_B bang

    Is there available parking for a thousand camels ?

    Aug 10, 2008 at 5:58 pm   rating: 17  small thumbs up

    • #3.1   bellabeastie

      Only in your armpits.. duh. Wow.. now that’s a visual.. a thousand camels.

      Better off with fleas or ants or something.

      Aug 10, 2008 at 9:40 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.2   optimismopski

      How about a thousand camel toes? THAT is visual I’d like to skip!

      Aug 16, 2008 at 8:59 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #4   Canthz_B bang

    If you’re not self-centered wouldn’t that make you unstable?

    Aug 10, 2008 at 6:00 pm   rating: 19  small thumbs up

    • #4.1   ama

      like being disoriented makes me not Asian

      Aug 11, 2008 at 3:13 pm   rating: 9  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #5   Canthz_B bang

    I read that you gain about a ton on the Two Parking Space Diet.
    The occasional compact space is okay to consume though.

    Aug 10, 2008 at 6:04 pm   rating: 11  small thumbs up

     
  • #6   zombieBlanco bang

           Noe Valley vs. Berkeley

       On the next Self Centered Space Consumers!

    Aug 10, 2008 at 6:12 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

    • #6.1   amy d bang

      A special edition of Trading Parking Spaces.

      Aug 10, 2008 at 6:37 pm   rating: 11  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #7   SchrodingersDuck

    They may claim space is hard to come by, but they’ve managed to fill almost an entire sheet of paper with a fairly inconsequential rant, in oversized handwriting that ranges from passive-aggressive cursive to barely-concealed rage scribbles.

    Also, love the last minute addition of an “e” in “hard to cume by”, which just makes the original mistake all the more obvious. How North Beach(?).

    Aug 10, 2008 at 6:26 pm   rating: 20  small thumbs up

    • #7.1   SomeGuyWhoNeverComments bang

      What happened to the cat?

      Aug 10, 2008 at 7:23 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.2   RunBarbara bang

      He was also cursed with fleas.

      Aug 10, 2008 at 7:41 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.3   meagz

      hahahaha

      Aug 11, 2008 at 3:55 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #8   amy d bang

    How do you consume any parking space? Is their vehicle so heavy that the space becomes a black hole after they park there?

    Aug 10, 2008 at 6:33 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

     
  • #9   Parking Officer

    I always keep a few copies of the parking notice from you park like an asshole in the console. It saves me writing so much.

    Aug 10, 2008 at 6:42 pm   rating: 11  small thumbs up

     
  • #10   Wade bang

    I wonder how two 2 selfishly consumed parking spaces taste?

    Aug 10, 2008 at 6:46 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

    • #10.1   amy d bang

      Just like chicken. ;)

      Aug 10, 2008 at 6:51 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #10.2   Tuesday

      Fucking delicious?

      Aug 10, 2008 at 9:38 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #10.3   Wade bang

      We have a winner! Here’s your Unitard, Tuesday. ;)

      Aug 10, 2008 at 10:02 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #10.4   snee bang

      i object! tuesday, clearly and without malice aforethought, only spoke the well-known unitard-worthy phrase because s/he was invited to do so.

      UNITARD ENTRAPMENT!

      Aug 11, 2008 at 12:34 am   rating: 19  small thumbs up

       
    • #10.5   amy d bang

      I agree, Snee. Wade, you are hereby sentenced to one week in the unitent and Tuesday is released from unitard duty.

      Aug 11, 2008 at 7:18 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #10.6   Mishee bang

      Maybe Wade should do one week and one day, so that he will be released on…. Tuesday

      Its symbolic ya know…

      Aug 11, 2008 at 8:33 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #10.7   anglophile bang

      That symbolism was fucking delicious, Mishee.

      *just wants to be sentenced to the unitent with wade*

      Aug 11, 2008 at 8:56 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #10.8   Mishee bang

      Well glo, you get what you want…

      Head on over to the Unitent and take your seat.

      Aug 11, 2008 at 9:03 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #10.9   amy d bang

      We’ll have to call it something else if Glo goes in there with Wade. Her mere presence will cause Wade to pitch a tent so it won’t be uni anymore.

      Aug 11, 2008 at 9:14 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #10.10   Mishee bang

      But if we call it the “Bi-Tent” then RB and all her little groupies will come in and take over thinking its something that its not.

      Aug 11, 2008 at 9:23 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #10.11   amy d bang

      That’s true, Mish. From what I’ve heard, we can call it the Big Tent.

      Aug 11, 2008 at 9:31 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #11   dan

    why is it written in two different types of handwriting? how bipolar!

    Aug 10, 2008 at 6:52 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

     
  • #12   Pook

    I can sympathize with the note writer. There’s nothing quite like having to circle for hours because some jerkwad took up two parking spaces.

    Aug 10, 2008 at 6:57 pm   rating: 9  small thumbs up

    • #12.1   Canthz_B bang

      I used to circle for hours but mom made me stop so I wouldn’t get moved to the special class.

      Aug 10, 2008 at 9:01 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #12.2   candybeans

      i’m with the note writer. if you live in LA or SF, not parking as close as possible to the end of the curb/red curb will earn you my permanent enemyhood. you gotta pay attention to that shit.

      Aug 10, 2008 at 11:21 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #12.3   collin

      I have to agree, Boston / Slumerville parking is just as precious. You can tell how bad a parker is, by the number of screw dents in the bumper.

      Aug 24, 2008 at 2:40 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #13   spastic

    @Pook: what about you park behind or in front of some car, they move, and you’re left looking like you took up two spaces when you didn’t?

    Aug 10, 2008 at 7:01 pm   rating: 16  small thumbs up

    • #13.1   Pook

      A trained eye can tell the difference between a car that used to be courteously sandwiched in between other cars and someone who intentionally took up more than their fair share of street.

      Aug 10, 2008 at 9:54 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #13.2   Paintball "Punk"

      From the looks of the handwriting, it doesn’t seem like a trained eye wrote this note.

      Aug 11, 2008 at 5:24 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #13.3   Pwnogram

      “Trained eye”? Pook, you are a bona-fide idiot.

      Aug 13, 2008 at 8:50 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #14   Rachael

    It’s a stupid fucking note but the guy who sent it in should still remember that even in residential areas here in SF, parking’s at a premium.

    I have a neighbor who takes up two parking spots over and over and I want to throttle them for it. People spend a ton of time trying to park in my neighborhood since it’s tough and lots of units don’t have parking…

    Aug 10, 2008 at 7:04 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #14.1   Omar

      I feel compelled to mention that I have a fairly small car (a Scion xA) — which I bought specifically so that I would minimize the ass-pain factor for both myself and others around me — and often end up squeaking it between a Touareg and a 4Runner, both of which appear to be popular cars of choice in my, ahem, “considerate” neighborhood. Some especially considerate car owners in my neighborhood also elect to block their own driveways (parking perpendicularly), leaving a foot or two of useless space once they move. As spastic points out, I am often left looking as though I rudely plopped my car square in the middle of a patch of perfectly park-able curb.

      Aug 10, 2008 at 7:59 pm   rating: 15  small thumbs up

       
    • #14.2   monica

      As a SF resident I have to agree that there have been a hundred incidences where I wanted to leave a similar note. Other people are trying to park too. Pay attention. Don’t park like an ass.

      It’s true (as a PP pointed out) that maybe someone else was parked there and you end up looking like a parking jerk. More often than not though it seems that people really aren’t paying any attention. If you are 2-3 feet from the end of the block – could you not tighten up a bit on your end? Sheesh.

      Aug 10, 2008 at 9:12 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #14.3   se

      yes, it feels much better when you tighten up a bit on your end

      Aug 10, 2008 at 9:21 pm   rating: 19  small thumbs up

       
    • #14.4   Holiday Djinn

      I hear this is quite a common request in San Fransico.

      Aug 11, 2008 at 4:34 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #15   Quite Contrary bang

    I was just at a drive thru atm. On a Sunday afternoon with no one around. I was writing out my deposit slip when someone pulled up behind me. They waited all of 30 seconds before honking their horn at me. It made me write slower.

    I pointed to the walk up atm, just above the drive thru atm. Someone got out of their car, went to the atm, and on their way back to their car, screamed at me “do you think this is your personal atm?”

    Why, yes I do. And then I went home and otook two parking spots.

    Self righteous note writing/horn honking/urban assholes.

    Aug 10, 2008 at 7:23 pm   rating: 10  small thumbs up

     
  • #16   RunBarbara

    Whenever I ride the BART, I like to spread my legs to take up as many seats as possible. In doing so, I hope to disperse my woman-scent to any eligible persons in my proximity. I am nearing 30 and my child-bearing years are closing in on me; I need to find a mate. Maybe our friend in Noe Valley is doing something similar…
    Whats that, you say? The BART is full of homeless people and lesbians?
    Then I should stop wearing underwear.

    Aug 10, 2008 at 7:35 pm   rating: 18  small thumbs up

    • #16.1   SoMaConsumer

      Don’t forget to fit a sneeze guard.

      Aug 10, 2008 at 7:47 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #16.2   RunBarbara bang

      If by “sneeze guard” you mean “dental dam” then fear not, I am one step ahead of you. If you really mean “fit a sneeze guard” then : English, Fail!

      Aug 10, 2008 at 8:01 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #16.3   Mishee bang

      RB: I hear there’s a bookkeeper opening in Berkeley at a Lesbian Friendly Sperm Bank.

      You should definitely apply! Maybe you get an Employee Discount?

      Then you could park how you like! :D

      Aug 10, 2008 at 8:36 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #16.4   Canthz_B bang

      God gave you sneeze guards. Stop shaving them off.

      Team beaver pelts! :-P

      Aug 10, 2008 at 9:08 pm   rating: 15  small thumbs up

       
    • #16.5   bellabeastie

      Eeww..

      Team All Clean And Shiney :)

      Aug 10, 2008 at 9:48 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #16.6   claw71 bang

      I rode the BART once a couple of years ago and thought I smelled burning tires.

      Aug 11, 2008 at 9:25 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #16.7   RunBarbara bang

      …maybe you closed the python in the door and it was dragging on the tracks, claw.

      Aug 11, 2008 at 11:27 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #17   James

    The note gets less and less legible as it goes down. I’m not suggesting the writer was rapidly declining in age as they were writing the note, but when you’re messing with powerful ‘flea’ curses, you must be careful what other forces you unleash.

    Aug 10, 2008 at 7:36 pm   rating: 9  small thumbs up

     
  • #18   SomaConsumer

    As I sat on the curb I hovered over the plate and guarded it with my free hand. My fork flew like the wind and just as I was finishing some dotcom yankwad walked up. “You asshole you consumed both spaces!”. I have to say that yes, yes I did. Go park your Vulva turbo elsewhere.

    Aug 10, 2008 at 7:39 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

    • #18.1   Mishee bang

      “That’s not a VolvO…”

      Best.ArrestedDevelopmentLine.EVAR.

      Aug 10, 2008 at 8:35 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #18.2   bellabeastie

      That Vulva Turbo was fucking delicious!!

      Now where do I pick up the unitard ??

      Aug 10, 2008 at 9:52 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #18.3   Wade bang

      From Tuesday ↑ ;)

      Aug 10, 2008 at 10:02 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #18.4   bellabeastie

      “vulva turbo”. I think that will reign supreme-oso- funnois.

      Because I have one.

      (Did I say that out loud?)

      Aug 10, 2008 at 10:42 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #18.5   PandoraWombat bang

      Actually, one of my favorite Arrested Development bits was when Gob was talking about purchasing a yacht, the Seaward. In front of their mother, he said something about “What about the Seaward?” To which she answered, “I’m staying.”

      Aug 11, 2008 at 8:51 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #18.6   Mishee bang

      My second favorite exchange:

      Michael: Maybe you can bring a date to the cabin.
      Lucille: I don’t want anybody to go inside that musty claptrap.
      Michael: … Oh, the cabin!

      this is the entire exhange from my earlier joke for the poor saps who missed out on a gem like AD:
      Lindsay Funke: We’re super rich again, Mikey! And I’m going to buy a car. A Volvo!
      Michael: Lindsay, you’re not going to start spending money again.
      [she hands him a picture]
      Michael: And this is not a Volvo
      Lindsay Funke: Oh, that’s from sitting on the copier.

      Aug 11, 2008 at 8:56 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #18.7   PandoraWombat bang

      And who can forget Tobias, in quest for a spot with the Blue Man Group, explained that he “blue himself.”

      Or the time he offered to be “wing-man” to Buster on the dating scene: “Even if it means taking a chubby, I will suck it up.”

      Aug 11, 2008 at 9:04 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #18.8   Mishee bang

      Pretty much anything that comes out of Tobias’ mouth is gold..

      Especially the episode where he taped himself all day at the suggestion of Michael.

      Aug 11, 2008 at 9:08 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #18.9   PandoraWombat bang

      Well, after all, he did pioneer a highly analytical form of therapy, making him one of the country’s first Analrapists.

      Aug 11, 2008 at 9:18 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #18.10   Mishee bang

      I used that one a few weeks ago, even linked to a pic of the business card…

      I had been waiting for the door to open FOREVAR!

      I use that one a lot in everyday life. LOL

      Aug 11, 2008 at 9:20 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #18.11   Erika

      My favorite Tobias line was when he said that in England “poofter” means “tourist.” I had to see that episode twice before I finally got it.

      Aug 12, 2008 at 11:14 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #19   Troy McClure bang

    Bumper sticker spotted in Noe Valley: My other car is the front half of this one

    Aug 10, 2008 at 8:24 pm   rating: 20  small thumbs up

     
  • #20   aaa

    I like how it starts off all nice and cursive but then degenerates into an angry scrawling print about a quarter of the way down. I guess the thought of somebody in their glorious neighborhood that reeks of the inferior Berkeley just pisses them off so much that they can’t contain their anger and start writing like a six year old.

    Aug 10, 2008 at 8:32 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #21   aaa

    P.S.

    Keep your camel fleas. Please repeatedly shove them into your anus until you become less of an entitled dick.

    Aug 10, 2008 at 8:33 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #22   Mishee bang

    I’m sorry but I believe in Berkeley the “now” thing to do is to park your ass in a redwood tree… and stay there for over a year… How inconsiderate!

    I’m jus’ sayin’….

    Aug 10, 2008 at 8:34 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #23   Miss Unloop

    The fleas from a thousand Camels?

    “I can’t put my arms down!!!!”

    Aug 10, 2008 at 8:42 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #23.1   Mishee bang

      Jesus – now you are stealing my heart by quoting “A Christmas Story”??? I am defenseless against your charm!

      Aug 10, 2008 at 8:45 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #23.2   Miss Unloop

      (grinning)

      Most people are.

      Aug 10, 2008 at 8:49 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #23.3   Detective Julie

      ” . . . Put them down when you get to school!”

      Aug 10, 2008 at 9:44 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #23.4   James

      Meanwhile, I struggled for exactly the right BB gun hint. It had to be firm, but subtle…

      “Flick says he saw some grizzly bears near Pulaski’s candy store!”

      Aug 10, 2008 at 11:39 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #23.5   Mishee bang

      Only one thing in the world could’ve dragged me away from the soft glow of electric sex gleaming in the window.

      That’s how I feel when I peep in RB’s bedroom window after nightfall….

      Aug 10, 2008 at 11:47 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #23.6   Cowgirlgraphics

      how very …. dare I say it??

      Middle Eastern.

      Aug 11, 2008 at 1:32 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #24   ama

    wasn’t comeby that really flexible green fellow? with a horse for a best friend

    Aug 10, 2008 at 8:56 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #24.1   Canthz_B bang

      I didn’t say “Blockhead”. ;-)

      Aug 10, 2008 at 9:12 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #24.2   bellabeastie

      That would be “Gumby”..

      and a horse is a horse of course of course..

      he’ll give you the answer that you’ll endorse..
      Unless of course of course of course
      It’s Mr. Ed !!

      Aug 10, 2008 at 10:27 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #24.3   bellabeastie

      Gumby and Pokey.

      Pokey couldn’t hold up to Mr. Ed.

      Mr. Ed could answer the phone.
      “Wiiilllbuurrr”

      Aug 10, 2008 at 11:27 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #24.4   James

      Comeby was Gumby’s porn-star equivalent.
      They didn’t even bother re-naming Pokey.

      Aug 10, 2008 at 11:40 pm   rating: 23  small thumbs up

       
    • #24.5   bellabeastie

      Nice. I’m all about the flexible green guy… ;)

      Pokey? — thinkin’ more like Speedy.

      Mr. Ed can take appointments. Because he can answer the phone (yo)…

      Aug 11, 2008 at 10:27 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #25   ama

    Well, if I were able to self-center, I wouldn’t be consuming two parking spaces now would I.

    Aug 10, 2008 at 9:05 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

     
  • #26   se

    This note was written by two 2 different people. Somebody came along and added their commentary to a note that was already there.

    Aug 10, 2008 at 9:16 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #26.1   Tuesday

      Are you saying that the notewriter was actually Sybil?

      Aug 10, 2008 at 9:41 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #26.2   ama

      it takes a village…

      Aug 10, 2008 at 9:55 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #26.3   Wade bang

      …idiot. or two.

      Aug 10, 2008 at 10:04 pm   rating: 12  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #27   senor coconut

    How many of his personalities got together to write this note?

    The handwriting switch in the middle is kind of scary.

    Aug 10, 2008 at 10:54 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #27.1   ama

      Jekyll, no, Hyde! where’s the antidote??!

      Aug 10, 2008 at 11:11 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #28   Qwerty

    I think what we have here is a case of multiple personality disorder. Both (two of?) the personalities were offended by the incompetent parking job. The polite(r) personality was dominant at the time, and started writing the note. But the angry, unstable(r) personality became even more enraged, seized control of the consciousness, and finished the note in his/her own style. Then the angry personality stormed off to look for his/her secret cache of high powered firearms to blow this inconsiderate bastard back to Planet Hell. The more stable personality seized control on the way there, which is why the submitter was not returned to his world of origin.
    Just a theory.

    Aug 10, 2008 at 10:56 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #28.1   Qwerty

      Damn! Sorry, senor coconut.

      Aug 11, 2008 at 1:14 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #29   ama

    I consume two parking spaces to encourage you to keep a safe distance from my car, so neither of us has to pay for damages in the long run. You’re welcome!

    Aug 10, 2008 at 11:13 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

     
  • #30   Andy bang

    I like the use of “consuming”. It’s so nice and overly dramatic, but nonsensical. If you were to consume a parking space, it’d be gone after consumption. I appreciate the effort, however.

    A more appropriate quasi-intellectual phrasing would’ve been, “Much like Germany occupying Austria because it’s right next to them, your fascist attitude of annexing multiple parking spaces must be dealt with, using every diplomatic means necessary.”

    Aug 11, 2008 at 12:59 am   rating: 15  small thumbs up

     
  • #31   Mishee bang

    I also wonder if this person remembered to turn their tires and set their parking brake. If they didn’t they will probably receive another note shortly…

    (if you have parked – or attempted to park – in San Francisco, you understand what I mean…)

    Aug 11, 2008 at 1:05 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #31.1   aaa

      They should find out who wrote this note, park right next to their car, and then “forget” to turn their tires and set their brake. Although you’d have to find a good scapegoat like Satan or hooligan teenagers or something.

      Aug 11, 2008 at 6:06 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #31.2   Mishee bang

      I love blaming things on hooligans! Its awesome!

      Aug 11, 2008 at 7:37 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #31.3   amy d bang

      And rabblerousers aren’t to be trusted either.

      Aug 11, 2008 at 7:38 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #31.4   PandoraWombat bang

      Are you one a them outside agitators? I hate that. I won’t have it in my house.

      (The Graduate, for those of you too young to get the quote).

      Aug 11, 2008 at 8:57 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #32   meagz

    I love how they made a mistake writing the word ‘two’… it would also appear that ‘is’ is another tricky one.

    Aug 11, 2008 at 4:03 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #33   Crinkle Crinkle

    Ironically enough, Omar almost rode his camel to the 7-11 that day, but took the Mazda instead because his beloved doeble-hump was at the flea-market, earning it’s keep by selling off it’s army of fleas.

    Apparantly there’s quite a demand- entreprenuerial types on ebay are promising flea curse delivery direct to armpit in 2 to 3 days.

    boom-tish!

    Aug 11, 2008 at 7:18 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #33.1   snee bang

      dear crinkle crinkle,

      1. please do not encourage people to order ebay flea curses as they may run into whiteblizzard70.
      2. it is not considered polite to “boom-tish” your own comment.
      3. crinkle-fest 2008 is over.

      miles of smiles,
      snee

      Aug 11, 2008 at 12:53 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #34   claw71 bang

    When you get a note like this you really have to count yourself lucky. Right or wrong this person was really pissed. They ripped off an angry diatribe and included a curse right out of Ali Babba and the Forty Theives. And you know this note writer assumed the driver was female. Berkely chicks don’t shave thier pits.

    When most people get to this place they tend to react with their ids and slash tires, key paint jobs or hurl bricks through windows. Others, like myself, lay in wait under the car until the driver returns. Then we sever their achilles tendon with a straight razor.

    Aug 11, 2008 at 9:22 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

     
  • #35   Holiday Djinn

    When using a 999 flea curse is not enough. . . .

    Seriously though, is this San Fran or Cairo?

    Aug 11, 2008 at 11:05 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #36   Chloe

    Notice how the handwriting deteriorates as the author gets more and more worked up. Or maybe there were two authors, and the second one had to take the reigns while the first one stewed.

    Aug 11, 2008 at 12:13 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #37   john in grand haven bang

    selflessness is for suckers!

    Team Me! Me! Me!

    Aug 11, 2008 at 12:18 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #37.1   ama

      …Me! Me!

      -Stephen Colbert at ’08 Webbys

      Aug 11, 2008 at 3:17 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #38   agirlie

    “How Berkeley” what a dink/dinkette.

    Aug 11, 2008 at 4:09 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #39   yuri

    the fact that this jackass even has a car living in Noe Valley makes him a fucking selfish jackass.

    Aug 11, 2008 at 4:11 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #40   thirty six red

    and yet still no penises. what gives?

    Aug 11, 2008 at 4:42 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #40.1   Mishee bang

      In SF it is not necessary to draw the pink penises, as they are abundant on the street.

      It just doesn’t have the same effect when its something you see everyday!

      Aug 11, 2008 at 7:38 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #40.2   amy d bang

      Translation:

      In SF, pink penises draw you!

      Maybe not. *sigh*

      Aug 11, 2008 at 7:48 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #40.3   bellabeastie

      In Soviet Russia parkink space trumps your pink penises two-to-one.

      Aug 11, 2008 at 10:19 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #41   bastylefilegirl

    Wait so Berkeley ahahahah! I happen to be a Oakland/Berkeley girl and know for a fact that everyone in Berkeley rides a bike in the middle of the street with no helmet and avoids all traffic laws therefore taking up 2 parking spaces cant be true ahahaha

    Aug 11, 2008 at 5:14 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #42   Taylor

    That is amazing. I like the bit about the fleas of a thousand camels. And the jab at Berkeley. I stayed in Noe Valley with a friend once, and now I live in Berkeley. So I find it extra funny. Thanks for posting.

    Aug 11, 2008 at 5:48 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #43   ssb

    well, it is “very berkeley” to take up two parking spaces. still, you have no idea what other car was parked there when that person pulled in, so if they’re not a known repeat offender, it might not be their fault.

    Aug 11, 2008 at 7:47 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #44   Xopher.tm

    All San Franciscans are self-righteous and self absorbed.

    All of them.

    They also have a huge sense of entitlement.

    Aug 11, 2008 at 8:34 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #44.1   snee bang

      not carl. he’s okay.

      (i’m sure they have at least one carl in s.f.)

      Aug 11, 2008 at 10:33 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #45   Brian

    Man, if I had the fleas of a thousand camels at my disposal I’d go after something a little more substantial than the person’s armpits. I’m thinking jock itch from hell or something like that.

    Anyway, whenever I run across someone who has parking issues I usually make sure to park in my space such that there is no way they’ll be able to open their driver side doors enough to get in their car.

    Aug 11, 2008 at 11:41 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #45.1   elevatorman

      Hey, moron. The person who posted this is talking about street parking, not side by side parking in a lot.

      Aug 12, 2008 at 12:58 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #46   Jsmoke

    I take up two spaces everytime I roll to Berkeley, those 60 year old flower children have trouble parallel parking their shaggin’ wagons on those side streets near the Rasputin records. Guaranteed this douche wouldn’t leave a note if he had smacked my Toyota with his 1972 VW mini-bus. How very Beserkley of him.

    Aug 12, 2008 at 6:53 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #46.1   Mishee bang

      I thought it was Bezerkeley.

      Aug 12, 2008 at 7:08 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #47   Jsmoke

    If the driver of the offending car was a member of Code pink none of this would be a problem.

    Aug 12, 2008 at 6:56 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #48   Lucky Pierr

    I live in Noe Valley and I can attest to a couple of things. Parking is a royal pain in the butt and people do tend to take up more space than they need (Omar, I’m betting you’re at least partly guilty here). Also, it’s a posh little hood and it’s full of self-centered passive-aggressive types.

    Oh, and all people named Xopher are unattractive and uncool.

    All of them.

    They’re also extremely insecure because they don’t live in San Francisco.

    Aug 12, 2008 at 7:03 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #49   Russ

    Is that a serious insult at the end? Or is it his way of lessening the harshness or the note? Trying to add humor? Forgive my ignorance… I really want to know.

    http://death-sentences.blogspot.com/

    Aug 13, 2008 at 2:08 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #49.1   Really?

      My Russ-ignorance-forgiving is almost depleted, but you get one more free pass. Please have a safe commute home, and don’t careen into an overladen fuel truck, and die screaming in the burning wreckage. THX

      Aug 13, 2008 at 10:48 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #49.2   Mishee bang

      What I really want to know why the fuck you don’t read anyone else’s posts??? I mean, SERIOUSLY, we have told you time and time again and you just don’t fucking listen!

      Troll!

      Aug 13, 2008 at 11:08 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #49.3   park rose bang

      I suggest that everyone visits Russ’ blog and leaves a comment stating how much they love/hate his tendency to troll this site (and others). Of course it will up the hits he gets on , but on the other hand, it may drive the message home that he is an annoying twat. Maybe not. He might be from the Oscar Wilde/Andy Warhol school of attention seeking whore. So saying, he has comment moderation, meaning that he gets to approve before your erudite reflections are posted. Shame that the same method cannot be applied to his annoying posts here.

      Aug 13, 2008 at 11:50 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #50   MadameRimbaud bang

    Why are there 2 different hand writings?

    Aug 13, 2008 at 10:37 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #50.1   Really?

      This question has puzzled mankind since we crawled from the slime, and has even been posited about THIRTY TIMES on this very thread.

      Aug 13, 2008 at 10:53 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #50.2   park rose bang

      keeping the faith, man. keeping the faith. .

      Aug 13, 2008 at 12:42 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #50.3   Mishee bang

      I still like my Unitent better…

      Aug 13, 2008 at 12:44 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #50.4   park rose bang

      Nah, doesn’t cut it doll. Though, you gotta give it credit for giving troy the muse to adapt and improve. Just coz troy’s got writing and all like on it. See, MR might never know why she had been sentenced to the unitent if we were to use your shining, but slightly flawed, example, but whatever, I digest… ;)

      Aug 13, 2008 at 12:55 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #51   hachacha

    I’ve written that same note in my head about a hundred times. I’ve never been to California in my life, but I do live in a neighborhood where on-street parking is scarce. When you park on the street everyday, you know exactly how many cars will fit on any given stretch of curb — and when someone parks carelessly and blocks another space, and you have to drive around for twenty minutes to find parking … well, camel fleas are pretty mild in comparison to some of the curses I’ve muttered against asshole parkers. If someone in my neighborhood kept doing it on a regular basis, I might leave a note. Better than leaving a rock through the window, right? Sometimes passive aggressiveness serves a purpose.

    Aug 13, 2008 at 12:31 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #52   MW

    I am actually our office parking lot’s neurotic note-leaver/parking police. Hi my name is MW, and I’m a perfect parker.

    I once left a note on a crooked Suburban that said “learn how to park your planet-killer, prick.”

    He’s been parking in the bigger spaces in the back lately.

    Aug 13, 2008 at 1:37 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #52.1   Sirius bang

      Lucky you remembered the comma, or you might have had his Planet-Killer parked in your Eater of Worlds

      Aug 13, 2008 at 3:01 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #52.2   Mishee bang

      Damn those crooked Suburbans! I saw one just last week taking kickbacks from the mob!

      Aug 13, 2008 at 3:04 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #53   GAP

    I am a handwriting expert, and it is clear to me that three different people contributed to this note. So Omar has quite a fan base.

    He might want to keep that in mind, when parking in Noe Valley again.

    Keep it tight and to the right…

    Aug 13, 2008 at 4:53 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #54   Kamilla

    That’s a M*A*S*H quote… Klinger says it.

    Aug 14, 2008 at 12:13 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #55   especially religion | passive-aggressive (and just plain aggressive) notes

    [...] so you noe valley-ites don’t feel like you’ve cornered the self-righteous yuppie market…i spotted this last week on my very own block in park slope, [...]

    Aug 21, 2008 at 10:05 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #56   Jay

    Shortly after I moved to San Francisco in 1999 — to Noe Valley! — I came home from work one day to find a similarly snitty message on my windshield, because I had not pulled all the way up to the driveway next to the parking spot on the residential street where I’d left my car, thereby in effect taking up 1 1/2 spaces. I thought it was just me! I should have saved the note — I never knew there would be a website for it. (Unfortunately there were no flea hostilities on it.)

    Aug 25, 2008 at 6:36 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #57   Ashleeey

    I got one of these notes before. I LOVELOVELOVE how people think they can dictate parking on a PUBLIC street. How about bitching at the people that park their five cars on the street when they have a garage?! I told the person who wrote the note to me that if she had an issue with my parking she should make her own private lot so she can be the parking nazi there.

    Aug 25, 2008 at 8:43 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #58   camels

    There’s nothing more San Franciscan than bitching over a person taking up 2 parking spots.

    Spot hoggers need to be ran over by their cars! I can’t even park my car within a 3 block radius of my home because of these jackasses!

    Aug 31, 2008 at 12:08 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #59   Lelahmunster bang

    I love how they switched from cursive to print halfway through.

    Mar 4, 2009 at 11:43 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #60   MizRed

    Two people wrote this note. One person started it with the snarky Berkeley comment and then the second came along and added to it with the camel remark.

    Mar 27, 2009 at 2:01 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #61   a “sincere” apology

    [...] related: how berkeley [...]

    May 7, 2009 at 12:16 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #62   VaultComplex

    It’s funny to see that “fleas of a thousand camels” line because that is taken directly from a set of “fake” tickets to put on annoying parking jobs that I bought from a dollar store 12 years ago. The guy must have gotten the same set, and it left an impression on him just like it did me.

    Jul 5, 2009 at 3:36 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #63   "If you are a woman shame on your husband for allowing you to leave the house" | PassiveAggressiveNotes.com

    [...] “I guess I’m a bad parker,” says Renee in San Antonio — but really, how bad does a parking job have to be to inspire this kind of blind rage? (Especially when the scene of the crime is the parking lot outside a big box store like Best Buy, not some precious residential block.) [...]

    Sep 24, 2010 at 7:44 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #64   Fun Crisis ! Popular Games – Funny Videos – Amazing Pics » Blog Archive Yours truly, Benz » Fun Crisis ! Popular Games - Funny Videos - Amazing Pics

    […] to disprove their reputation for douchebaggery. But, as Jane in Ithaca reports, nothing stirs up self-righteousness quite like residential on-street […]

    Mar 24, 2014 at 7:01 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #65   Yours truly, Benz

    […] to disprove their reputation for douchebaggery. But, as Jane in Ithaca reports, nothing stirs up self-righteousness quite like residential on-street […]

    Apr 9, 2014 at 11:02 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     

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