rodti and laura elizabeth spotted these charming examples of local scottish color outside an internet cafe in glasgow’s west end.
meanwhile, a grocery story elsewhere in glasgow displays a similar plea for clemency…one that seems intended for a similar clientele.
related: blame it on coke
extra credit: buckfast tonic wine [wikipedia]
the worst toilet in scotland [youtube]
106 responses so far ↓
#1
César
If i see that sign I swear I’ll pee my pants right there on their floor.
What assholes.
Aug 12, 2008 at 2:02 pm rating: +3
#2
aaa
So I had to click the Buckfast link since I’m American and had no idea what the fuck it is. Seems that it’s a favorite among underage hooligans. No wonder they have to plea for clemency when they’re out of the stuff.
Aug 12, 2008 at 2:08 pm rating: +2
#3
Melissa
Quick! Send in Trader Joe’s relief supplies of Two Buck Chuckfast!
Aug 12, 2008 at 2:10 pm rating: +2
#4
failface
Do they not have Ripple to slake their winos’ thirst?
Aug 12, 2008 at 2:10 pm rating: 0
#5
Wilko
A Poem:
The Curse
to the shop that forbids pee
, no customers shall visit thee
Aug 12, 2008 at 2:12 pm rating: +16
#6
Mishee
What if I tell you 101? Have you heard that one?
Aug 12, 2008 at 2:14 pm rating: +8
#7
Sirius
You say that I must pay to pee
I’d like to test that theory
The toliet-smasher is a worm
Dont’ take it out on we who squirm!
Aug 12, 2008 at 2:16 pm rating: +9
#8
Sirius
Deny me Buckfast, to my face?
My chavvy mates will trash the place!
Aug 12, 2008 at 2:18 pm rating: +22
#9
amy d
How do their toilets know who is a paying customer and who is not?
Modern technology rocks!
Aug 12, 2008 at 2:20 pm rating: +16
#10
RunBarbara
regarding the first note-
its kind that they consider the toilet “staff”. its nice to personify objects, especially ones that dispose of your crap. i wonder if it has a little vest and name tag draped over its tank…
Aug 12, 2008 at 2:21 pm rating: +11
#11
claw71
I would never stoop so low as to take my frustrations with your inability to manage your place of business out on the staff. No, I reserve my pent up hostility toward my mother for them. She wouldn’t buy me Bubble Tape and now the retail world will feel my wrath.
Aug 12, 2008 at 2:29 pm rating: +1
#12
elizabeth
What is a Buckfast?
Aug 12, 2008 at 2:32 pm rating: +1
#13
unholyghost2003
Ah! Bum Wines of the U.K. hmm or maybe not. The review makes it sound like the booze of the marginally employed alcoholic. So I suppose the better question than “Don’t they have any Ripple?” is “Don’t they have any Kamchatka?”
Aug 12, 2008 at 2:32 pm rating: +1
#14
claw71
I’m sorry to say that I’m out of dough
but I still need to use the rest room though
To me I hope you’ll give a pass
seeing as how the turd has breached my ass
If this is something of which you can’t see fit
I’ll squat right here to take a shit
Your paying patrons will be disgusted
to see and smell what my colon’s busted
The choice is yours, you hold your fate
The loo or the floor, I cannot wait.
Aug 12, 2008 at 2:35 pm rating: +49
#15
Chloe
It’s obnoxious enough for business owners to restrict the use of their bathrooms (would they prefer customers piss on their floor?)…but to go so far as to write a poem about it? Them’s fightin’ words.
Aug 12, 2008 at 2:52 pm rating: +2
#16
Quite Contrary
So, am I allowed to use the toilet if I am there to return something?
Aug 12, 2008 at 2:52 pm rating: +5
#17
Bunnee
But if I’m 101, I can go in and make an excuse as to why I need the bathroom?
Aug 12, 2008 at 3:40 pm rating: 0
#18
Canthz_B
Naturally, the first sign was written by someone with an anal retentive personality.
Aug 12, 2008 at 4:01 pm rating: +3
#19
Canthz_B
Please Sir! Please Sir!
Please don’t scold me!
My bladder is weak,
I cannot hold pee!
Aug 12, 2008 at 4:06 pm rating: +3
#20
CitizenEditor
Buckfast is the worlds worst alcoholic beverage. Now there aren’t so many smackheads in Glasgow they’re all just pissed up instead.
What a win.
PS: Wiki has it that Ripple is no longer produced
Aug 12, 2008 at 4:08 pm rating: +2
#21
secondsout
So at this internet cafe, do you think they might be able to look up an online guide to grammar, spelling, comma usage, and capitalization?
Aug 12, 2008 at 4:14 pm rating: +5
#22
secondsout
Can one use a “high street gift voucher” to purchase rotgut wine? COOL!
Aug 12, 2008 at 4:15 pm rating: +4
#23
ama
I don’t care who you are (who you a-are)
Where you’re from
If your ill or not
As long as you jog on…
Aug 12, 2008 at 4:25 pm rating: +2
#24
ama
Buckfest 2008 was so awesome!! WOOHOO! My favorite band was Delivery Errors….playing “I Regret To Inform (That This Shop Has No ****fast)” and “Please Do Not Abuse The Staff (As It Is Not Their Fault).”
Aug 12, 2008 at 4:31 pm rating: +8
#25
thirty six red
But can I take my food in there? Will you allow my dog to take a shit in there if I buy something?
Aug 12, 2008 at 4:32 pm rating: +2
#26
Holiday Djinn
I’m a man, i would just piss in their doorway after hours, or on the managers car. Either way, i am relieved.
Aug 12, 2008 at 4:33 pm rating: +1
#27
octavius
These signs are very polite for the average Glaswegian. They must be in the posh end of the city of deep fried Mars bars, the only place in the world where the English are considered to have good teeth.
I just noticed the door at the bottom doesn’t have security glass, it can’t be in Glasgow at all.
Aug 12, 2008 at 4:37 pm rating: +7
#28
ama
i haf cheewios for buckfast.
Aug 12, 2008 at 4:39 pm rating: +3
#29
Sheepish
ahh, the delivery error excuse.
“of course I couriered those documents like I asked, must’ve been a delivery error”
“what? you never got you Christmas gift? must have been a delivery error. that’s too bad ’cause it was a really nice gift.”
Aug 12, 2008 at 4:47 pm rating: 0