As this sign from a Montgomery, Alabama breakroom shows, “PopCorn Users” remain one of the most persecuted groups in the workplace today.
related: Bizarre pardoning accident
Especially Deborah
August 17th, 2008 · 215 comments
FILED UNDER: Alabama · bold-underlined-caps · excessive underlining · gloriously redundant · high on highlighter · irregular capitalization · microwave · Montgomery · most popular notes of 2008 · office · popcorn
215 responses so far ↓
#1
agirlie
PopCorn that’s pSychO tyPing riGht TheRe!
Aug 17, 2008 at 7:14 pm rating: 14
#2
punkypower
Especially Deborah better watch her back in the parking lot.
Aug 17, 2008 at 7:19 pm rating: 38
#3
Canthz_B
Especially Deborah and Anytime Stan make a loverly couple.
Aug 17, 2008 at 7:22 pm rating: 32
#4
Canthz_B
Watch your popcorn, lest the sign of the beast appear upon it.
Aug 17, 2008 at 7:24 pm rating: 13
#5
Canthz_B
Doesn’t this person know that the very best tasting microwave popcorn is burned?
Aug 17, 2008 at 7:30 pm rating: 2
#6
mmmmm
i think the very best tasting microwave popcorn is unattended during it’s creation.
Aug 17, 2008 at 7:35 pm rating: 20
#7
Canthz_B
Deborah will now make a fortune on a book about what it’s like to be haunted by the ghost of Orville Redenbacher.
Aug 17, 2008 at 7:43 pm rating: 1
#8
figsy
at my last office there was a no-popcorn-at-all-any-time rule handed down from the owner of the company. i’ll take reheated curries any day over the stench of burned popcorn.
Aug 17, 2008 at 7:45 pm rating: 6
#9
amy d
Memorize the optimal number of pops and count each pop to ensure no kernels are burnt.
Aug 17, 2008 at 7:51 pm rating: 1
#10
Canthz_B
Team Jiffy-Pop Turban!
Jiffy-Pop Popcorn, as much fun to make as it is to eat!
Aug 17, 2008 at 8:00 pm rating: 1
#11
Miss Unloop
How is the note writer able to discern the stench of burning popcorn from the stench emanating from the state capital building?
Aug 17, 2008 at 8:24 pm rating: 4
#12
Fresca
I remain mystified by people who can spell/punctuate/capitalize the same word in several different ways throughout the same note. PopCorn, PopCorn, PopCorn, popcorn? What happened? Was the note-writer suddenly confronted by the grammar fairy who announced “I’ve had enough of this shit!”?
Aug 17, 2008 at 8:28 pm rating: 57
#13
Goldie
WTF is a “popcorn user”, how do you use popcorn? I thought you just ate the stuff, but clearly I’m behind the times. Do you smoke it, snort it, or what? Then again, there may be other uses for the warm, soft, buttery product, as shown in that timeless classic, “Debbie Does Popcorn”. Yep, especially Debbie.
Aug 17, 2008 at 8:28 pm rating: 46
#14
Miss Unloop
If I were Especially Deborah, I would close off the open end of the note writer’s cubicle with Saran Wrap and fill it with as much burned popcorn as I could get my hands on, “Real Genius” style.
Aug 17, 2008 at 9:02 pm rating: 29
#15
Mishee
I just wonder if they think that PopCorn is its first and last name…
Like PapaSmurf or something like that. As for the no spaces… well, I can’t explain everything for you people!
Aug 17, 2008 at 9:31 pm rating: 2
#16
PaulboKnows
I doubt the writer realizes the dangers of messing with a PopCorn user. I don’t know how addicted Especially Deborah is, but I still have the scars from when I suggested a dear friend not leave his PopCorn unattended. He’s currently serving time for intent to distribute burnt PopCorn.
Aug 17, 2008 at 9:39 pm rating: 3
#17
ama
If I were Deborah, I’d be like, fuck this, I’m sick of making popcorn for you ungrateful little bitches. And then I would fill their cars with burnt PopCorn. And then I would quit.
Aug 17, 2008 at 9:57 pm rating: 4
#18
B Rad
Burn, Leave, Stay is the new Stop, Drop and Roll
Aug 17, 2008 at 10:12 pm rating: 12
#19
Mishee
If you read it with only the red underlined words you get:
Do Not
Burn
Do Not
Leave
Stay
Sounds like someone has a crush…
(ok B Rad, get outta my mind mister!!)
Aug 17, 2008 at 10:12 pm rating: 24
#20
Canthz_B
You tell everybody. Listen to me, Hatcher. You’ve gotta tell them! Soylent Green is burnt popcorn! We’ve gotta stop them somehow!
Aug 17, 2008 at 10:13 pm rating: 5
#21
PandoraWombat
In my opinion, this note displays poor form in singling out Especially Deborah. The more appropriate PA way to do this would be to say,
“I’m not mentioning any names, but it rhymes with Schmeborah.”
Aug 17, 2008 at 10:16 pm rating: 49
#22
senor coconut
I think Debbie should find inspiration for her revenge in the 1980s classic, Real Genius.
Fill that whole damned office with popcorn.
Aug 17, 2008 at 10:19 pm rating: 0
#23
amazon
I thought watched popcorn doesn’t pop… or something like that.
Aug 17, 2008 at 10:23 pm rating: 2
#24
ama
What we didn’t see is the sign below: PopCorn left unattended will be given 2 shots of espresso and a free puppy!
Aug 17, 2008 at 10:41 pm rating: 6
#25
Black Bellamy
I fucking hate the smell of popcorn. It drives me goddamn nuts! And yet the popcorn-making stooge remains alive, a testament to my iron will. At least twice a week a black cloud of stench rolls over to my desk and I suffocate.
If you make popcorn at the office know this – there is someone in the area who is wishing death upon you and all your kin. Eat the kernels at your own peril!
Aug 17, 2008 at 10:45 pm rating: 15
#26
SpeciallyDeborah
As all of you thieves know, I used to eat a HotPocket for lunch every day. Now I’m user. You do the math. I hope the HotPockets were FuckingDelicious.
Aug 17, 2008 at 10:56 pm rating: 10
#27
just_me
Especially Deborah has a little ass to kick.
Team Burnt PopCorn
Aug 17, 2008 at 11:15 pm rating: 0
#28
shepd
Okay, there’s hate against microwave popcorn. I even saw the sign at the school I went to (on one oven). After having to smell so many nasty meals being cooked (especially fish–something that half the class had even complained to the guy who ate it every day about) I simply found a microwave without the sign. I don’t really care ‘cuz our class learned an important lesson: Don’t ban a single item if it isn’t that single item that’s the problem.
If what you really mean is “No stinky foods, including but not limited to: Popcorn, fish, etc.” just come out and say what you really mean. Of course, nobody wants to do this because they realize it’s just a big slippery slope to hell, and because people who hate popcorn are more vocal than those that hate fish, we get popcorn signs. *SIGH*
PS – If you’re suggesting it’s banned due to some form of allergic reaction, consider the fact that we had Asian students that enjoyed microwaving their peanut based items… MMMM peanut oil splashes.
Just sayin’, is all…
Aug 18, 2008 at 2:06 am rating: 1
#29
Nicole
Even Lisa?
Especially Lisa.
But especially Bart.
And Especially Deborah.
Aug 18, 2008 at 2:15 am rating: 7
#30
Canthz_B
PopCorn is that thing on Dad’s toe he’s always complaining about.
Aug 18, 2008 at 3:58 am rating: 2
#31
Rain
Do Not Use UnNecessary and IrRegular Capitalization.
Aug 18, 2008 at 5:15 am rating: 4
#32
claw71
The popcorn had grown sick and tired of being used. It was one thing when people used microwaving a bag of popcorn as a convenient excuse to step away from the desk but entirely another when popcorn was used to make the Pringles jealous. If you want to eat the Pringles, just eat them, don’t nuke a bag of popcorn only to leave it sitting in the microwave while you cavort with those sour cream and onion flavored crisps. It just wasn’t fair. Popcorn can be flavored too.
Also not fair was the way some people, like Deborah, would exceed the cooking time by as much as two minutes. Why, Deborah, why? Are those five unpopped kernels really that important? Or do you hide your daily bowel movement behind the guise of preparing a snack? Everybody poops, you know. Maybe you think the smell of scorched popcorn hides the odor wafting from the women’s room. It doesn’t.
Well this time the popcorn had had it. It would be used and abused no more. It wouldn’t be easy but popcorn decided to snatch a page out of Tina Turner’s life story and make a run for it the minute it was left unattended. Where would it go? Popcorn had no idea but it was not staying here. Maybe it would end up eaten by pigeons, perhaps it would be strung on to a Christmas tree. Either way it would be appreciated and that’s really all anybody wants. Even Deborah. Especially Deborah.
Aug 18, 2008 at 6:39 am rating: 35
#33
RALPHY
While Especially Deborah realized that her ADD played an important role in her pecular smelling PopCorn, she felt sure that Casy in Human Resourses would understand and that no conquences would follow. Little did she know that the scathing note on the microwave was penned by Casey and a diabotical revenge was already in progress.
Aug 18, 2008 at 8:37 am rating: 1
#34
park rose
Ooh, I think the woman’s soccer has started. Japan vs US, or vice versa.
Aug 18, 2008 at 9:20 am rating: 0
#35
Ryan
PopCorn Users: Just say no! Don’t do it.
It’s just too late for Deborah.
Aug 18, 2008 at 10:09 am rating: 1
#36
mere
i just imagine a place where deborah and terry can sit on the couch and eat PopCorn, while jesus parks cars on the neighbor’s lawn.
…..
Aug 18, 2008 at 10:17 am rating: 0
#37
Lurker
Claw, I’m serious. Let’s trade emails and maybe even meet. I’m not fooling around like Mishee and Runbarbara. I’d really like to get to know you. I’m not a stalker, just interested in the real you.
Aug 18, 2008 at 10:35 am rating: 1
#38
recovering user
1. We admitted that we were powerless over PopCorn and that our microwaves had become malodorous.
Aug 18, 2008 at 10:42 am rating: 7
#39
agong
Be careful Claw, that’s not PopCorn in lurker’s pocket!!
Aug 18, 2008 at 10:55 am rating: 0
#40
RP
Deborah should stop burning popcorn and start burning toast instead.
Aug 18, 2008 at 10:56 am rating: 0
#41
claw71
I know roofies when I see them. Even if their in a pocket. I’ve woken up naked and chained to a hot water heater too many times to fall for that trick again.
Aug 18, 2008 at 11:00 am rating: 7
#42
claw71
There’s a bad kind of dirty?
Aug 18, 2008 at 11:02 am rating: 1
#43
claw71
OK, now I’m pissed. For some reason I can’t nest comments and it’s making me look like a retard. Pretty soon Mishee’s going to give me both barrels and it’s not my fault.
Aug 18, 2008 at 11:03 am rating: 0
#44
Mishee
I used to work at the adidas US HQ Corp Office and I made popcorn one day and my boss came up to me and said, “Wow, a temp who knows how to make popcorn!”
That’s when I got the story about the crazy contractor who kept making popcorn and burning it (when the microwave had a damn popcorn button) and that resulted in the fire alarm getting set off… which was fun for the employees of the Green Building to stand out in the Oregon rain for an hour until they got the “All Clear”…
See… That just goes to show, once again, that Oregon is evil!!!
Aug 18, 2008 at 12:46 pm rating: 2
#45
claw71
Whenever somebody leaves anything in an unattended microwave I stop it midcycle and fart inside. Then I resart the cycle and allow my wholesome goodness to bake right in.
Hey, this Hot Pocket tastes like shit!
Oh…that’s not really unusual, is it?
Aug 18, 2008 at 12:58 pm rating: 6
#46
agong
“did she just say KRAUTTTT?”
Aug 18, 2008 at 2:04 pm rating: 0
#47
Hatchetface
I don’t understand why “PopCorn” is typed this way 3x and then the last time, they got lazy and just said “popcorn”.
Aug 18, 2008 at 3:52 pm rating: 0
#48
0falcon8
Apparently the microwave is reserved for other Users-gotta soften up that fucking delicious Black Tar Heroin
Aug 18, 2008 at 4:33 pm rating: 1
#49
cricket
wow, they called out Deborah BY NAME.
me thinks that someone is WELL schooled in the art of Bitchcraft.
Aug 18, 2008 at 5:24 pm rating: 4
#50
Timo
Do I dare say it…
In Soviet Russia Corn pops you!
Sorry
*hangs head*
Aug 18, 2008 at 6:00 pm rating: 0
#51
claw71
In Soviet Russia there is no popcorn…only borscht.
I know that tent is getting crowded so I leave the python outside. I hope Mishee’s not out there. She bites.
Aug 18, 2008 at 6:39 pm rating: 0
#52
Canthz_B
Burnt popcorn + extra time left on the microwave = termination of employment…especially for Deborah.
Aug 18, 2008 at 7:10 pm rating: 0
#53
zuchinno
Team Deborah! That popcorn was fucking delicious!
Aug 18, 2008 at 7:52 pm rating: 0
#54
aaa
I bet ten bucks that the author of this lovely sign ended up with a deskful of burnt PopCorn the next morning.
Aug 18, 2008 at 9:39 pm rating: 1
#55
aaa
What I don’t get is why the note-writer suddenly went from PopCorn to popcorn at the end of the note. Did they finally realize they were spelling it like a wanker and were just too lazy to go back and fix the rest of the PopCorns?
Aug 18, 2008 at 9:45 pm rating: 1
#56
The Mayor of Bethville
What exactly is Deborah “using” the popcorn for?
Aug 19, 2008 at 10:09 am rating: 1
#57
leftfoot
I think the smell of burnt popcorn is much better than the smell of dirty crotch. There was a woman at a company i worked at years ago that had to be fired because she made the whole building smell like month old, rotting fish. We should have put up a note: “Please wash your private areas, ESPECIALLY DEBORAH! do not forget, do not make excuses, stay in the shower until it’s clean!!!”
Aug 19, 2008 at 11:21 am rating: 0
#58
agong
popcOrn can be dead useful for filling cavernous holes. (there’s a your mom joke here… )
Aug 19, 2008 at 11:25 am rating: 0
#59
agong
it’s so much more convenient than getting TWO bowls, though!
Aug 19, 2008 at 11:33 am rating: 0
#60
Holiday Djinn
I guess a simple:
Deborah, quit burning the popcorn. It smells worse than your cheap, skanky ass, imitation perfume. Bitch!
-Management
would have been considered too confrontational?
Aug 19, 2008 at 12:18 pm rating: 1
#61
mrs. pommelhorst
Is it just me, or does “Especially Deborah” sound like some cheesy 80′s porno series?
Aug 20, 2008 at 11:49 am rating: 0
#62
Toopillow
Dang. Looks like Deborah and Graham should start a support group.
Aug 21, 2008 at 4:01 pm rating: 0
#63
elisper
i can totally relate to the person leaving the anti-popcorn note… microwave popcorn gives me migraines. literally the smell of the artificial butter will linger just long enough to bring about a migraine that can last 3 days
Aug 25, 2008 at 12:56 am rating: 0
#64
Passive Aggressive
Haha!! The person that left the note is obviously a person that belongs to the “PopCorn Users”, that hates seeing his/her beloved popcorn all burnt.
Nov 28, 2008 at 11:13 pm rating: 0
#65 sigh-ned
[...] related: especially deborah [...]
Jan 11, 2009 at 8:01 pm rating: 0
#66
JC
There is NOTHING worse than the smell of burned popcorn! I had the unfortunate honor of having my desk by the break room in an office of 150 people. To this day, I cannot stand the smell of popcorn, burned or not!
Jan 26, 2009 at 3:26 pm rating: 0
#67
Antonius
Damn, there’s apparently nothing worse than the smell of burning popcorn!
May 10, 2009 at 11:05 pm rating: 0
#68
ggstarling
Hello all!
This evening I have found a very cool cartoon about the office workers everyday life.
I recommend this for all to lift your mood.
I helped))
You can watch this toon <a href=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZcmPOwpL9HI
here
Dont worry – be smile))
Jun 19, 2009 at 2:48 am rating: 0
#69
Missing Lunch
If you can’t even wait four minutes while your popcorn pops, you have A.D.D.
Jun 29, 2009 at 10:06 am rating: 0
#70
adobe
This makes me want to find Deb and leave burned popcorn unattended with her.
Aug 18, 2009 at 4:56 pm rating: 1
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