The missing exhibit from the Carousel of Progress

August 18th, 2008 · 114 comments

Sorcia McNasty in North Carolina says this “piece of art” is located right next to the paper supply drawer in her office.  “We’re not sure if there is really a problem with theft or if occasionally, you know, the machine just runs out of paper. No one wants to question the MACHINE IN MOTION.”

DID YOU KNOW??? The facsimile machine is not only a piece of art, but also a MACHINE IN MOTION. Sadly, it cannot perform its motion if there is no paper. Please allow our MACHINE IN MOTION to stay in MOTION by not stealing its paper.

related: The passive-aggressive note has not been destroyed; it has been solved

FILED UNDER: clip art catastrophe · Did you know? · fax · office supplies · the fax machine · WTF?


114 responses so far ↓

  • #1   Miss Unloop

    Where does one find clip art like that? The fax machine on the right looks like it it singing opera or something…

    “Fi-i-i-i-i-i-garo! Fi-i-i-i-i-i-i-garo! Figarofigarofigarofigarofi-i-i-i-i-i-i-garo!”

    Aug 18, 2008 at 10:00 pm   rating: 27  small thumbs up

    • #1.1   S&M

      “I am the copier of Seville…”

      Aug 19, 2008 at 9:18 am   rating: 9  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.2   PandoraWombat bang

      FAX the Wabbit!!

      Aug 19, 2008 at 5:00 pm   rating: 9  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.3   kthxbai

      ROFLMAO

      Aug 29, 2008 at 2:38 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #2   e

    does it walk across the room? I’ve never seen a fax machine move. Old crappy copy machines i’ve seen scoot across a table, but never a fax machine. I’m just curious what kind of motion it has…. maybe it’s a perpetual motion machine!

    Aug 18, 2008 at 10:02 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #2.1   Miss Unloop

      Time-lapsed photographs taken over a seven week period have confirmed the gradual but steady migratory habits of seemingly ordinary office equipment.

      While fax machines are usually very slow and deliberate, items like pens, staplers and scissors can migrate from one desk to another in a matter of minutes.

      Aug 18, 2008 at 10:19 pm   rating: 60  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.2   anglophile bang

      You have to watch the office microwave like a hawk. It’s likely to make a break for it the second you leave it unattended.

      Aug 18, 2008 at 10:24 pm   rating: 15  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.3   Martin Heidegger

      I can hear David Attenborough’s voice now, delivering commentary on the sloth-like beauty of the Lesser Xerox (Facsimilius aggressivus) as it moves inexorably toward the break room.

      Aug 19, 2008 at 2:30 am   rating: 39  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.4   snee bang

      aw, it’s not going to the break room to burn PopCorn, is it?!

      Aug 19, 2008 at 3:40 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.5   katrina

      a fax machine in motion stays in motion….

      Aug 19, 2008 at 8:30 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.6   S&M

      Oy cickey this is amazing the Lesser Xerox is being mounted by the Microwave, isn’t she a beaut!

      Aug 19, 2008 at 9:21 am   rating: 11  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.7   mark

      It ain’t the size of the paper, it’s the motion of the machine!

      Aug 19, 2008 at 6:30 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.8   snee

      still, i like some big equipment. to hell with microchips.

      Aug 19, 2008 at 6:51 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.9   Goldie

      Dammit, Mark, I was going to say that. Doesn’t it explain, though, why the machine gets so pissed when somebody steals its paper? Heck, I’d be pretty upset, too.

      Aug 19, 2008 at 9:47 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.10   reyna ulikba

      @ #2.5 : … unless acted upon by an external force.

      Aug 22, 2008 at 4:59 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.11   reyna ulikba

      ack! #16 CB beat me to it

      Aug 22, 2008 at 5:04 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #3   anglophile bang

    What is this strange item called a Facsimile Machine?

    Aug 18, 2008 at 10:04 pm   rating: 14  small thumbs up

     
  • #4   se

    I have tossed a fax machine across a room. Does that count as being in motion?

    Aug 18, 2008 at 10:08 pm   rating: 9  small thumbs up

     
  • #5   Miss Unloop

    “Hello? Is this Lloyd’s of London? Yes, I’ve just been informed that the fax machine is a piece of art, and I’d like to see about getting it insured…”

    Aug 18, 2008 at 10:15 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

     
  • #6   anglophile bang

    The Cave Drawings at Lascaux

    The Venus de Milo

    The Mona Lisa

    The Starry Night

    Les Demoiselles d’Avignon

    The Facsimile Machine

    sounds about right

    Aug 18, 2008 at 10:16 pm   rating: 30  small thumbs up

    • #6.1   Miss Unloop

      Yes, Glo, but is it ART?

      Aug 18, 2008 at 11:44 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.2   S&M

      A lot of people dismiss Warhol’s steno-machine phase as derivative and irrelevant to todays society.

      Aug 19, 2008 at 9:24 am   rating: 12  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #7   agirlie

    I particularly love the sneaky clip art thief on the bottom right hand side. Because people who work somewhere and steal paper dress up like that to steal office supplies…

    Aug 18, 2008 at 10:22 pm   rating: 13  small thumbs up

    • #7.1   Miss Unloop

      The sack he’s carrying is actually filled with purloined Hot Pockets and burnt PopCorn.

      Aug 18, 2008 at 10:38 pm   rating: 19  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.2   agirlie bang

      Good, because I suspect he’s wearing a unitard.

      Aug 19, 2008 at 9:05 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.3   Miss Unloop

      My suspicion EXACTLY.

      Aug 19, 2008 at 12:58 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #8   Kimberly

    I tend to want to give our fax machine the same treatment that the fax machine in Office Space received. I can’t recall one time that I’ve ever thought of it as art.

    I’m all for the sentiment of everyone chipping in and filling the paper if they notice it’s out but I can’t really take anyone seriously who abuses clipart so egregiously and likens the bane of my existence to Renoir.

    Aug 18, 2008 at 10:39 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #8.1   Miss Unloop

      “PC load letter?!? What the fuck is THAT? Oh, yeah, you like that? Huh? Yeah? Take THAT! Yeah? YEAH??”

      Aug 18, 2008 at 11:26 pm   rating: 12  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.2   S&M

      How about some light collating? YEAH! that’s it. oh yeah. you dirty little thing. I am going to get the three ring binders out! I am going to stick this tabloid size ream in you. Yeah take it, TAKE IT!

      Aug 19, 2008 at 9:28 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.3   Timo bang

      “Miss Un I am sorry but I get a funny feeling when you speak like that to the hardware. Please don’t stop.”

      Aug 19, 2008 at 1:10 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.4   Miss Unloop

      You should hear what I’m saying to my computer right now, Timo…

      Aug 19, 2008 at 6:13 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #9   park rose bang

    Some say the body is like a machine, a MACHINE IN MOTION. One of the most important motions it has is the bowel movement. This motion can be performed if there is no paper, but it makes the clean-up very messy. In fact, the thought of there being no paper might hinder perfect execution of this movement. There are paper thieves around, everywhere (U know who U R). Note, your actions can have a disastrous effect on the potential works of art that our MACHINE IN MOTION pushes forth (though the abstract connoisseurs at Skidmark art might disagree). Please allow our MACHINE IN MOTION to stay in MOTION by not stealing its paper.

    Aug 18, 2008 at 10:45 pm   rating: 23  small thumbs up

    • #9.1   MisanthropicGirl

      Sorry. I’d give the machine back its paper, but I honestly can’t spare a square. I don’t have a square to spare.

      Aug 19, 2008 at 8:24 am   rating: 19  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #10   snee

    DID YOU KNOW???

    nope, but now that i have this new, glorious information, what shall i do with it? i am full to bursting of information and pape–wait! no, just full of information. that’s all. carry on. nothing to see here, folks…

    Aug 18, 2008 at 10:56 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

     
  • #11   SF Iris

    Maybe it’s just me, but if I see anything or anyone in motion at work, I tend to just leave them alone until they’ve finished. Less embarrassing all ’round.

    Aug 18, 2008 at 10:58 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #11.1   snee

      you have to be especially careful when someone puts a big sheet over his cubicle while in motion.

      just look away!

      Aug 18, 2008 at 11:01 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #12   snee

    with all that clip art, could they not scare up a screen bean?!

    Aug 18, 2008 at 10:59 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

    • #12.1   Sophie

      I really love that turn of phrase.!

      Next time I need to make a PowerPoint presentation and I’m looking for images I will definitely ask myself if I can “scare up a screen bean, or two!”

      Aug 19, 2008 at 5:16 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #12.2   Fern

      Plus, he/she stole paper to make the sign.

      Aug 19, 2008 at 12:15 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #13   Canthz_B bang

    You know, Man, like this business is an Organism, Man. An Organism in motion, Man. The Organism, Man, needs to keep moving forward, Man. The Facsimile Machine, Man, is the voice of our business, Man. The paper is our breath, Man. Don’t steal our breath, Man. Otherwise we’d just be going through he motions, Man.

    Aug 18, 2008 at 11:06 pm   rating: 19  small thumbs up

    • #13.1   Miss Unloop

      Whoa, CB. That’s, like, really heavy…

      Aug 19, 2008 at 12:28 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #13.2   katrina

      and wouldn’t that just be the bitter end ?

      Aug 19, 2008 at 8:32 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #13.3   PandoraWombat bang

      This business is an orgasm? Oh, sorry, you said organism. See, if it were an orgasm, the paper probably all got used to blot up the mess.

      Aug 19, 2008 at 5:04 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #14   Maddy

    Can’t be too careful!
    Cheers

    Aug 18, 2008 at 11:08 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #15   snee

    dear paper stealer,

    FAX YOU!

    Aug 18, 2008 at 11:08 pm   rating: 32  small thumbs up

     
  • #16   Canthz_B bang

    A fax machine in motion will stay in motion unless acted upon by an outside force.

    ~ Sir I. Fig Newton

    Aug 18, 2008 at 11:10 pm   rating: 20  small thumbs up

     
  • #17   Canthz_B bang

    Maybe it’s sharing its paper with the attractive copier down the hall. I say shorten the extension cords of all office machines. That’ll learn ‘em to be in motion!

    Aug 18, 2008 at 11:19 pm   rating: 10  small thumbs up

    • #17.1   snee

      just last week the copier was “exchanging toner” with the printer. slut.

      Aug 18, 2008 at 11:26 pm   rating: 28  small thumbs up

       
    • #17.2   Miss Unloop

      Doesn’t it know that when you exchange toner with one machine, you are essentially exchanging toner with EVERY machine with which IT has exchanged toner?

      Okay, that just gave me a splitting headache.

      Aug 18, 2008 at 11:33 pm   rating: 25  small thumbs up

       
    • #17.3   Canthz_B bang

      They were swapping bits?
      Some of these newer models byte.

      Ok, that just sucked! :-P

      Aug 18, 2008 at 11:58 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #17.4   nene

      Ok, if the fax is sharing paper with the attractive copier down the hall, and the copier is exchanging toner with the printer… um, is this where all-in-one machines come from???

      Aug 19, 2008 at 12:42 am   rating: 30  small thumbs up

       
    • #17.5   Saysh

      Oh nene… that was perfect.

      Aug 19, 2008 at 1:38 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #17.6   Canthz_B bang

      As long as they use surge protection who are we to judge?

      Aug 19, 2008 at 1:38 am   rating: 32  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #18   Wolverine Girl

    I’m a little disturbed by the clip art beside the sentence “Sadly, it cannot perform its motion if there is no paper.” All references to toilet paper aside, what happened to the guy in the picture? Did the fax machine, unable to perform its motion, get revenge by biting off his head?

    Aug 18, 2008 at 11:30 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #18.1   Sydney

      It looks like a forlorn bunny rabbit next to a coffee cup to me. Which would be just as scary, but would make even less sense than a headless corpse.

      Aug 19, 2008 at 2:38 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #18.2   anglophile bang

      I like the way the clip art in the middle appears to be faxing a sheet full of obscenities to some unsuspecting client. The next time I run across an unguarded fax machine I’m sending a letter like that to my boss.

      Aug 19, 2008 at 6:20 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #18.3   claw71 bang

      I work with a girl who sends nasty-grams to people all the time. Mostly her boyfriend. She’s odd.

      Aug 19, 2008 at 6:49 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #18.4   Zsa

      At my old job, you’d better lock your machine when you walk away. There were some interesting IMs that got sent to the boss when the cat was away.

      Aug 19, 2008 at 12:46 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #18.5   glastonberry

      Yeah, that’s one of the reasons I’ve never told my boss about IM. I’m pretty sure he’s still not aware of it, hoping to keep it that way…

      Aug 19, 2008 at 6:26 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #19   erin

    wait a minute

    are you telling me that this fax machine’s paper tray isn’t never-ending?

    CRAZY

    Aug 18, 2008 at 11:43 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #20   ellemarie bang

    I think this is one of the scariest notes I’ve seen so far- whoever wrote this sounds ready to commit (a somehow passive aggressive) murder over the lack of paper. Methinks somebody ‘cannot perform its motion’ enough at home.. sadly.

    Aug 18, 2008 at 11:54 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #20.1   Sophie

      Agreed! I have no idea who this person is but I do know that I would HATE them to death.

      Can’t you just imagine the sarcastic smile behind these words. Ugh! People like this are placed on this earth to torture the rest of us.

      And they do.

      Aug 19, 2008 at 5:13 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #21   Canthz_B bang

    It’s not enough to see the plastic. You must see the fax machine inside the plastic.
    That, my friends, is art.

    Aug 19, 2008 at 12:03 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

    • #21.1   Miss Unloop

      A full paper tray does not a fax machine make.

      Aug 19, 2008 at 12:21 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #21.2   Timo bang

      This is not just an empty box it is the embodiment of communication. You have to feel the potential images that are there.

      Yeah man, totally.

      Aug 19, 2008 at 1:14 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #22   Miss Unloop

    People should know better than to try to come between a woman and her MACHINE IN MOTION.

    Aug 19, 2008 at 12:08 am   rating: 13  small thumbs up

    • #22.1   Canthz_B bang

      This one has vibes to it , Miss Unloop! :-P

      Aug 19, 2008 at 1:43 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #23   claw71 bang

    No, no, no…this is all wrong. That fax machine is a piece of shit, not art and nobody’s stealing the paper, it’s jammed. I don’t know about motion but if I have to ask my client to re-fax his signed copy of the proposal I’m going to shove that machine up your cheap, refurbished equipment-buying ass.

    Aug 19, 2008 at 5:41 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

     
  • #24   Red Letterboxer

    That first bit of clip art looks like a failed entry in Battle Bots, or maybe the Tin Man in a low budget production of the Wizard of Oz.

    Aug 19, 2008 at 6:37 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #25   Holiday Djinn

    Machine in motion? Machine in motion? Is it a fax machine or a freakin’ Ferrari?
    Also, who keeps/finds all these horrible narrow clip art files. I expect if the world was ending in 10 minutes due to the earth being bombarded by Alien spaceships using bombs that look like office furniture, we would all be informed via a PA note using that obscure clip art.

    Aug 19, 2008 at 7:11 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #26   DirtyOldLady bang

    …you stole a piece of paper from the fax machine to write this note, didn’t you.

    Aug 19, 2008 at 7:48 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #27   P'chick

    I took that paper… and it was fucking delicious.

    (Yes, I have Pica.) http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pica_(disorder)

    Aug 19, 2008 at 7:53 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #28   JPav

    Since when did the Cookie Crisp crook start stealing office supplies? The times they are a changin’…

    Aug 19, 2008 at 8:13 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #28.1   Holiday Djinn

      He started stealing stuff when General Mills outsourced his old job to India. . . . .

      God only knows what happened to the dog.

      Aug 19, 2008 at 12:14 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #29   Joe

    McNasty? Well, that’s a far cry from McDreamy. But, hey, at least she’s honest with herself.

    Aug 19, 2008 at 8:40 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #29.1   amy d bang

      McNasty and McTrifling are bffs.

      Aug 19, 2008 at 10:10 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #30   Red Letterboxer

    DID YOU KNOW???

    The Facsimile Machine is not a piece of art at all? If it were the kind of kinetic art you imagine it to be, it would be ostentatiously displayed in our expensively decorated lobby.

    Sadly, it would be inconvenient to most of the employees in that location – and even further from the paper supply cabinet, which is clearly already too far away.

    Please refrain from using the term MACHINE IN MOTION unless you intend to provide a tastefully decorated mechanized turntable, or perhaps hook up an entertaining novelty bass to announce to everyone that a fax is arriving.

    Aug 19, 2008 at 9:06 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #31   B Rad

    Machine in Motion, isn’t that the other theme from St. Elmo’s Fire??

    Aug 19, 2008 at 9:08 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #31.1   Burghardt

      You beat me to it. You B Rude!

      Aug 19, 2008 at 1:02 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #31.2   Miss Unloop

      B Rad, thanks for that one… I would have myself, but I’m tired of showing my age.

      Ooops.

      Aug 19, 2008 at 1:06 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #32   aaa

    I’ll show you how I perform my motion. And when I see your mom…

    Aug 19, 2008 at 9:09 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #33   Mishee bang

    Wow. And I thought my maiden name was bad!!

    Aug 19, 2008 at 9:09 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #34   claw71 bang

    I knew she was out of paper but I didn’t care. We’d been emailing each other for weeks and had to have each other. I couldn’t take it any longer. So one night after she emailed me some cutesy little message chock full of emoticons I just went over and faxed her. I faxed her hard and it was good. She told me to stop because her queue was getting full but I couldn’t help myself and her protests weren’t convincing. Her queue was more than accommodating as it opened with each and every transmission. She couldn’t get enough of my document. I kept on faxing. On some level I knew it was wrong but it felt so right. I couldn’t stop if I wanted to. Finally, after what seemed like hours her queue finally couldn’t take any more. It was full and my document was tattered and torn. We were both spent. After a few minutes I finally mustered up the courage to apologize as I feared I had crossed a line. Don’t worry, she replied, it was exactly what we needed. I asked her what she was going to do…after all, we hadn’t used any paper and unprinted fax had all sorts of complications. It turned out that she had no trouble aborting the job and the next day we each had our equipment thoroughly checked by a technician to make sure we hadn’t corrupted anything.

    Aug 19, 2008 at 9:10 am   rating: 28  small thumbs up

    • #34.1   claw71 bang

      Funny side note to this story…I once got fired from a job for pulling my nipples as I stood by the fax machine saying “I’d fax me…I’d fax me hard.”

      The fact that I was naked and doing the Ted Levine tuck might have been a factor in my termination. I don’t know if anybody cared that I was wearing a wig fashioned from a temp’s scalp.

      Aug 19, 2008 at 9:15 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #34.2   Mishee bang

      I didn’t think that fax machines could put lotion on its skin…

      And if you give it the hose again, it might short out! Make sure to keep yourself tucked if you decide to do that… I don’t want the python to get damaged by the flying sparks…

      Aug 19, 2008 at 9:21 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #34.3   claw71 bang

      Sparks I can handle. It’s those little dogs that cause problems.

      Aug 19, 2008 at 9:32 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #34.4   Secretly Passive Aggresive

      Th-th-th-th-th-th-th. That toner flavored fava bean was fucking delicious.

      Aug 19, 2008 at 9:46 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #35   Journal of Social awkwardness

    I think my favourite part of this note is the picture of the sneaky burglar in the corner!

    Aug 19, 2008 at 9:51 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #36   Me

    I eagerly await passive aggressive notes every day just to read the wonderful comments below. Some of you are truly amazing and hilarious. Thanks!

    Aug 19, 2008 at 10:27 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #36.1   Cowgirlgraphics

      Me too Me …. although I have to stop myself from blurting “_______ was fucking delicious!” when involved in social situations. Nobody but the PAN folks get that joke.

      Aug 20, 2008 at 10:44 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #37   schrodingersduck bang

    I bet the person stealing the paper was the one who wrote this note – to cover their tracks, they even had it printed on the paper stolen from the fax.

    Aug 19, 2008 at 11:01 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #37.1   MAMARILLA2 bang

      Probably used all the Ink/toner as well making extra copies.

      Aug 19, 2008 at 1:21 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #38   Lurker

    DID YOU KNOW???

    …that being condescending rather than simply stating what needs to be done is counter-productive and makes people less willing to help?

    Aug 19, 2008 at 12:26 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #38.1   Mishee bang

      I agree, and I also think NBC needs to change their PSA title… because to me, “The More You Know”, is pretty condescending… I mean, how do they know I don’t already know what they are saying? They just assume I am ignorant on the subject of smothering your kids???

      I mean, seriously, I think G.I. Joe said it best… “… and knowing is half the battle!”

      Aug 19, 2008 at 1:27 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #39   AJLonesome bang

    What a ridiculously circumlocutive way to say “don’t take the paper!”

    And I walked away with a ream of paper before I actually finished reading the note.

    Aug 19, 2008 at 1:00 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #39.1   Crinkle Crinkle

      Was the dictionary you just ate fucking delicious?

      Aug 20, 2008 at 7:23 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #39.2   tinkerbell2

      is the stick up your ass fucking painful?

      (crinkle, not AJL. I like a man with a big vocabulary.)

      Aug 20, 2008 at 8:15 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #40   GhostWriter bang

    “30 seconds on the clock; are you ready?”
    “Yes, Charles!”

    “OK – Name something that needs paper to work properly.”
    “ummm, a fax machine”

    “A piece of art…”
    “fax machine”

    “A machine in motion…”
    “fax machine”

    “Something you should never steal…”
    “fax paper”

    “…and umm, well how about this? An office communication device?”
    “FAX MACHINE!”

    “Very Good, Love- now, let’s see how you did…”

    Aug 19, 2008 at 1:20 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

    • #40.1   Timo bang

      I liked Richard Dawson. He was such a lecherous pandering fuck.

      Gene Rayburn was the best host.

      Aug 19, 2008 at 4:27 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #40.2   Bellabeastie

      That’s a DRUNKEN lecherous pandering fuck to you…

      *hic*

      Aug 20, 2008 at 2:45 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #41   Grade Ape

    DID YOU KNOW???
    (Assuming a billable rate of $100 p/h)

    Key in text: $30
    Print version 1: ¢10
    Red Line v1 and make revisions: $20
    Add in all caps, adjust leading: $60
    Print version 2: ¢10
    Ponder impact of messaging: $60
    Add italic header, reprint version 2: $5.10
    Poll team and gather response: $200
    Search for 5 clip art images: $200
    Add clip art to design, adjust font sizes: $100
    Print version 3: ¢10
    Circulate for final revisions: $100
    Implement final edits: $30
    Print final version and install: $3.10
    Grand Total: $808.50

    Waisting an entire day and alerting the office to the presence of an asshat? Priceless!

    Aug 19, 2008 at 2:20 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

     
  • #42   0falcon8 bang

    Ode to a Machine in Motion

    Oh! Fax Machine, work of Art!
    Sing to me your siren song!
    Machine in Motion vomiting a pixel ballet
    Upon virginal, life giving paper

    Until a cold, heartless rapscallion
    Skulks away into the night
    with your life blood
    Your reams of soul

    The Motion has ceased

    *end*

    Aug 19, 2008 at 3:50 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

     
  • #43   punkypower

    I would make fun of this person, except I work in an office where people are forever using up all the paper in the copier, printer and fax, but none of them know how to refill it. Same goes for toilet paper. I’m one of those annoying bitches who doesn’t want to use my time refilling paper that everyone else used. I know that makes me an asshat and the other people not-at-all selfish and inconsiderate.

    Aug 19, 2008 at 6:45 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #43.1   Mark bang

      http://www.theonion.com/content/node/51561

      Aug 19, 2008 at 7:07 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #43.2   punkypower

      I’m not quite that bad, although I did once threaten to toilet-paper the office of whoever kept using all the TP without replacing the roll.

      Aug 19, 2008 at 10:23 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #43.3   OnTheEdge

      Doesn’t it hurt when you use fax paper to wipe your ass?

      Aug 20, 2008 at 3:00 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #43.4   punkypower bang

      You get used to it. Just don’t tell THX Sandra. She’ll be worried about the delicate plumbing getting damaged by the fax paper.

      Aug 22, 2008 at 7:59 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #44   AWagentX bang

    >Singing< There’s a Great Big Beautiful Tomorrow, Starting at the End of Every Day….

    See Also: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KKz6qdexetY
    or http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r9c5H6QzVPY

    Aug 19, 2008 at 7:32 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #45   Woman on the Verge

    Excuse me, but did the fax machine in motion get pissed off by not having paper and eat the head of the clipart guy sitting passively next to the carnivorous machine? I am a little disturbed by this.

    Aug 19, 2008 at 9:07 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #46   PandoraWombat bang

    If they run out of paper, they can always get someone in another office to fax them some more. Duh!

    Aug 19, 2008 at 9:17 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

     
  • #47   HS

    If the fax is a rocking, don’t come a knocking?

    Aug 19, 2008 at 9:47 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #48   punkypower

    This note must have been written by Mr. Burns.

    “I’m sure the manual will indicate which lever is the velocitator and which the deceleratrix.”

    Aug 19, 2008 at 10:02 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #49   Phalange

    Those walking fax machines look like a line of long-forgotten Transformers.

    Aug 20, 2008 at 11:20 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #50   pirateywill bang

    Hmm. I think someone is too embarrassed to admit the truth here. If you replace the words “Facsimile Machine” with Digestive System, “Paper” with FiberCon, and “Motion” with Regular Bowel Movements…. Well, someone’s backed up because someone else is making off with all the fiber!

    Aug 24, 2008 at 1:34 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     

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