the missing exhibit from the carousel of progress

August 18th, 2008 · 114 comments

sorcia mcnasty in north carolina says this “piece of art” is located right next to the paper supply drawer.  “we’re not sure if there is really a problem with theft or if occasionally, you know, the machine just runs out of paper. no one wants to question the MACHINE IN MOTION.”

backstage at the carousel of progress  

related: the passive-aggressive note has not been destroyed; it has been solved

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FILED UNDER: clip art catastrophe · did you know? · fax · office supplies · the fax machine


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114 responses so far ↓

  • #1   Miss Unloop

    Where does one find clip art like that? The fax machine on the right looks like it it singing opera or something…

    “Fi-i-i-i-i-i-garo! Fi-i-i-i-i-i-i-garo! Figarofigarofigarofigarofi-i-i-i-i-i-i-garo!”

    Aug 18, 2008 at 10:00 pm   rating: +22  

    • #1.1   S&M

      “I am the copier of Seville…”

      Aug 19, 2008 at 9:18 am   rating: +7  

       
    • #1.2   PandoraWombat

      FAX the Wabbit!!

      Aug 19, 2008 at 5:00 pm   rating: +7  

       
    • #1.3   kthxbai

      ROFLMAO

      Aug 29, 2008 at 2:38 am   rating: 0  

       
     
  • #2   e

    does it walk across the room? I’ve never seen a fax machine move. Old crappy copy machines i’ve seen scoot across a table, but never a fax machine. I’m just curious what kind of motion it has…. maybe it’s a perpetual motion machine!

    Aug 18, 2008 at 10:02 pm   rating: +3  

    • #2.1   Miss Unloop

      Time-lapsed photographs taken over a seven week period have confirmed the gradual but steady migratory habits of seemingly ordinary office equipment.

      While fax machines are usually very slow and deliberate, items like pens, staplers and scissors can migrate from one desk to another in a matter of minutes.

      Aug 18, 2008 at 10:19 pm   rating: +57  

       
    • #2.2   anglophile

      You have to watch the office microwave like a hawk. It’s likely to make a break for it the second you leave it unattended.

      Aug 18, 2008 at 10:24 pm   rating: +14  

       
    • #2.3   Martin Heidegger

      I can hear David Attenborough’s voice now, delivering commentary on the sloth-like beauty of the Lesser Xerox (Facsimilius aggressivus) as it moves inexorably toward the break room.

      Aug 19, 2008 at 2:30 am   rating: +36  

       
    • #2.4   snee

      aw, it’s not going to the break room to burn PopCorn, is it?!

      Aug 19, 2008 at 3:40 am   rating: +5  

       
    • #2.5   katrina

      a fax machine in motion stays in motion….

      Aug 19, 2008 at 8:30 am   rating: +5  

       
    • #2.6   S&M

      Oy cickey this is amazing the Lesser Xerox is being mounted by the Microwave, isn’t she a beaut!

      Aug 19, 2008 at 9:21 am   rating: +9  

       
    • #2.7   mark

      It ain’t the size of the paper, it’s the motion of the machine!

      Aug 19, 2008 at 6:30 pm   rating: +5  

       
    • #2.8   snee

      still, i like some big equipment. to hell with microchips.

      Aug 19, 2008 at 6:51 pm   rating: 0  

       
    • #2.9   Goldie

      Dammit, Mark, I was going to say that. Doesn’t it explain, though, why the machine gets so pissed when somebody steals its paper? Heck, I’d be pretty upset, too.

      Aug 19, 2008 at 9:47 pm   rating: 0  

       
    • #2.10   reyna ulikba

      @ #2.5 : … unless acted upon by an external force.

      Aug 22, 2008 at 4:59 am   rating: 0  

       
    • #2.11   reyna ulikba

      ack! #16 CB beat me to it

      Aug 22, 2008 at 5:04 am   rating: 0  

       
     
  • #3   anglophile

    What is this strange item called a Facsimile Machine?

    Aug 18, 2008 at 10:04 pm   rating: +13  

     
  • #4   se

    I have tossed a fax machine across a room. Does that count as being in motion?

    Aug 18, 2008 at 10:08 pm   rating: +8  

     
  • #5   Miss Unloop

    “Hello? Is this Lloyd’s of London? Yes, I’ve just been informed that the fax machine is a piece of art, and I’d like to see about getting it insured…”

    Aug 18, 2008 at 10:15 pm   rating: +2  

     
  • #6   anglophile

    The Cave Drawings at Lascaux

    The Venus de Milo

    The Mona Lisa

    The Starry Night

    Les Demoiselles d’Avignon

    The Facsimile Machine

    sounds about right

    Aug 18, 2008 at 10:16 pm   rating: +28  

    • #6.1   Miss Unloop

      Yes, Glo, but is it ART?

      Aug 18, 2008 at 11:44 pm   rating: +3  

       
    • #6.2   S&M

      A lot of people dismiss Warhol’s steno-machine phase as derivative and irrelevant to todays society.

      Aug 19, 2008 at 9:24 am   rating: +11  

       
     
  • #7   agirlie

    I particularly love the sneaky clip art thief on the bottom right hand side. Because people who work somewhere and steal paper dress up like that to steal office supplies…

    Aug 18, 2008 at 10:22 pm   rating: +12  

    • #7.1   Miss Unloop

      The sack he’s carrying is actually filled with purloined Hot Pockets and burnt PopCorn.

      Aug 18, 2008 at 10:38 pm   rating: +17  

       
    • #7.2   agirlie

      Good, because I suspect he’s wearing a unitard.

      Aug 19, 2008 at 9:05 am   rating: +5  

       
    • #7.3   Miss Unloop

      My suspicion EXACTLY.

      Aug 19, 2008 at 12:58 pm   rating: 0  

       
     
  • #8   Kimberly

    I tend to want to give our fax machine the same treatment that the fax machine in Office Space received. I can’t recall one time that I’ve ever thought of it as art.

    I’m all for the sentiment of everyone chipping in and filling the paper if they notice it’s out but I can’t really take anyone seriously who abuses clipart so egregiously and likens the bane of my existence to Renoir.

    Aug 18, 2008 at 10:39 pm   rating: +2  

    • #8.1   Miss Unloop

      “PC load letter?!? What the fuck is THAT? Oh, yeah, you like that? Huh? Yeah? Take THAT! Yeah? YEAH??”

      Aug 18, 2008 at 11:26 pm   rating: +10  

       
    • #8.2   S&M

      How about some light collating? YEAH! that’s it. oh yeah. you dirty little thing. I am going to get the three ring binders out! I am going to stick this tabloid size ream in you. Yeah take it, TAKE IT!

      Aug 19, 2008 at 9:28 am   rating: +3  

       
    • #8.3   Timo

      “Miss Un I am sorry but I get a funny feeling when you speak like that to the hardware. Please don’t stop.”

      Aug 19, 2008 at 1:10 pm   rating: 0  

       
    • #8.4   Miss Unloop

      You should hear what I’m saying to my computer right now, Timo…

      Aug 19, 2008 at 6:13 pm   rating: 0  

       
     
  • #9   park rose

    Some say the body is like a machine, a MACHINE IN MOTION. One of the most important motions it has is the bowel movement. This motion can be performed if there is no paper, but it makes the clean-up very messy. In fact, the thought of there being no paper might hinder perfect execution of this movement. There are paper thieves around, everywhere (U know who U R). Note, your actions can have a disastrous effect on the potential works of art that our MACHINE IN MOTION pushes forth (though the abstract connoisseurs at Skidmark art might disagree). Please allow our MACHINE IN MOTION to stay in MOTION by not stealing its paper.

    Aug 18, 2008 at 10:45 pm   rating: +21  

    • #9.1   MisanthropicGirl

      Sorry. I’d give the machine back its paper, but I honestly can’t spare a square. I don’t have a square to spare.

      Aug 19, 2008 at 8:24 am   rating: +18  

       
     
  • #10   snee

    DID YOU KNOW???

    nope, but now that i have this new, glorious information, what shall i do with it? i am full to bursting of information and pape–wait! no, just full of information. that’s all. carry on. nothing to see here, folks…

    Aug 18, 2008 at 10:56 pm   rating: +4  

     
  • #11   SF Iris

    Maybe it’s just me, but if I see anything or anyone in motion at work, I tend to just leave them alone until they’ve finished. Less embarrassing all ’round.

    Aug 18, 2008 at 10:58 pm   rating: +2  

    • #11.1   snee

      you have to be especially careful when someone puts a big sheet over his cubicle while in motion.

      just look away!

      Aug 18, 2008 at 11:01 pm   rating: +1  

       
     
  • #12   snee

    with all that clip art, could they not scare up a screen bean?!

    Aug 18, 2008 at 10:59 pm   rating: +6  

    • #12.1   Sophie

      I really love that turn of phrase.!

      Next time I need to make a PowerPoint presentation and I’m looking for images I will definitely ask myself if I can “scare up a screen bean, or two!”

      Aug 19, 2008 at 5:16 am   rating: +3  

       
    • #12.2   Fern

      Plus, he/she stole paper to make the sign.

      Aug 19, 2008 at 12:15 pm   rating: +2  

       
     
  • #13   Canthz_B

    You know, Man, like this business is an Organism, Man. An Organism in motion, Man. The Organism, Man, needs to keep moving forward, Man. The Facsimile Machine, Man, is the voice of our business, Man. The paper is our breath, Man. Don’t steal our breath, Man. Otherwise we’d just be going through he motions, Man.

    Aug 18, 2008 at 11:06 pm   rating: +18  

    • #13.1   Miss Unloop

      Whoa, CB. That’s, like, really heavy…

      Aug 19, 2008 at 12:28 am   rating: +2  

       
    • #13.2   katrina

      and wouldn’t that just be the bitter end ?

      Aug 19, 2008 at 8:32 am   rating: 0  

       
    • #13.3   PandoraWombat

      This business is an orgasm? Oh, sorry, you said organism. See, if it were an orgasm, the paper probably all got used to blot up the mess.

      Aug 19, 2008 at 5:04 pm   rating: +1  

       
     
  • #14   Maddy

    Can’t be too careful!
    Cheers

    Aug 18, 2008 at 11:08 pm   rating: 0  

     
  • #15   snee

    dear paper stealer,

    FAX YOU!

    Aug 18, 2008 at 11:08 pm   rating: +31  

     
  • #16   Canthz_B

    A fax machine in motion will stay in motion unless acted upon by an outside force.

    ~ Sir I. Fig Newton

    Aug 18, 2008 at 11:10 pm   rating: +19  

     
  • #17   Canthz_B

    Maybe it’s sharing its paper with the attractive copier down the hall. I say shorten the extension cords of all office machines. That’ll learn ‘em to be in motion!

    Aug 18, 2008 at 11:19 pm   rating: +9  

    • #17.1   snee

      just last week the copier was “exchanging toner” with the printer. slut.

      Aug 18, 2008 at 11:26 pm   rating: +27  

       
    • #17.2   Miss Unloop

      Doesn’t it know that when you exchange toner with one machine, you are essentially exchanging toner with EVERY machine with which IT has exchanged toner?

      Okay, that just gave me a splitting headache.

      Aug 18, 2008 at 11:33 pm   rating: +24  

       
    • #17.3   Canthz_B

      They were swapping bits?
      Some of these newer models byte.

      Ok, that just sucked! :-P

      Aug 18, 2008 at 11:58 pm   rating: +3  

       
    • #17.4   nene

      Ok, if the fax is sharing paper with the attractive copier down the hall, and the copier is exchanging toner with the printer… um, is this where all-in-one machines come from???

      Aug 19, 2008 at 12:42 am   rating: +29  

       
    • #17.5   Saysh

      Oh nene… that was perfect.

      Aug 19, 2008 at 1:38 am   rating: 0  

       
    • #17.6   Canthz_B

      As long as they use surge protection who are we to judge?

      Aug 19, 2008 at 1:38 am   rating: +31  

       
     
  • #18   Wolverine Girl

    I’m a little disturbed by the clip art beside the sentence “Sadly, it cannot perform its motion if there is no paper.” All references to toilet paper aside, what happened to the guy in the picture? Did the fax machine, unable to perform its motion, get revenge by biting off his head?

    Aug 18, 2008 at 11:30 pm   rating: +4  

    • #18.1   Sydney

      It looks like a forlorn bunny rabbit next to a coffee cup to me. Which would be just as scary, but would make even less sense than a headless corpse.

      Aug 19, 2008 at 2:38 am   rating: 0  

       
    • #18.2   anglophile

      I like the way the clip art in the middle appears to be faxing a sheet full of obscenities to some unsuspecting client. The next time I run across an unguarded fax machine I’m sending a letter like that to my boss.

      Aug 19, 2008 at 6:20 am   rating: +6  

       
    • #18.3   claw71

      I work with a girl who sends nasty-grams to people all the time. Mostly her boyfriend. She’s odd.

      Aug 19, 2008 at 6:49 am   rating: +2  

       
    • #18.4   Zsa

      At my old job, you’d better lock your machine when you walk away. There were some interesting IMs that got sent to the boss when the cat was away.

      Aug 19, 2008 at 12:46 pm   rating: 0  

       
    • #18.5   glastonberry

      Yeah, that’s one of the reasons I’ve never told my boss about IM. I’m pretty sure he’s still not aware of it, hoping to keep it that way…

      Aug 19, 2008 at 6:26 pm   rating: 0  

       
     
  • #19   erin

    wait a minute

    are you telling me that this fax machine’s paper tray isn’t never-ending?

    CRAZY

    Aug 18, 2008 at 11:43 pm   rating: 0  

     
  • #20   ellemarie

    I think this is one of the scariest notes I’ve seen so far- whoever wrote this sounds ready to commit (a somehow passive aggressive) murder over the lack of paper. Methinks somebody ‘cannot perform its motion’ enough at home.. sadly.

    Aug 18, 2008 at 11:54 pm   rating: +4  

    • #20.1   Sophie

      Agreed! I have no idea who this person is but I do know that I would HATE them to death.

      Can’t you just imagine the sarcastic smile behind these words. Ugh! People like this are placed on this earth to torture the rest of us.

      And they do.

      Aug 19, 2008 at 5:13 am   rating: +3  

       
     
  • #21   Canthz_B