Sorry, I’ve been sharing the olive oil with the squirrels

August 19th, 2008 · 176 comments

Our anonymous submitter in Takoma Park, Maryland says her roommate is constantly leaving little post-its and e-mails for the other roommates, but  I think these two have a bit of yum-o synchronicity.

Hi all, If you are in the habit of sharing our extra virgin olive oil, it is your turn to buy some.... if not, well, I guess I'm out of olive oil.

re: bread in trash — Is there any reason not to feed to squirrels, compost, or even eat this bread?

related: The first thing I did when I woke up

FILED UNDER: e-mail · food · Maryland · roommates · Takoma Park · thanks (but not really) · The Earth


176 responses so far ↓

  • #1   Miss Unloop

    Is the first note from Rachael Ray?

    Aug 19, 2008 at 10:02 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #1.1   Ashley

      Fuck Rachael Ray.

      Aug 19, 2008 at 10:33 pm   rating: 19  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.2   Mark bang

      I would!! As long as I could put duct tape over her damn yapping maw.

      Aug 19, 2008 at 10:45 pm   rating: 27  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.3   claw71 bang

      But her voice is so sexy. And I’m sure she’d have plenty of time saving tips for you.

      Aug 20, 2008 at 9:26 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.4   djr

      S’plains why the landlord is so subtly evil.

      Aug 20, 2008 at 9:43 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.5   Timo

      It makes me think of the time I showed up in Rachel Ray’s closet naked and all slicked up with EVOO. Sure her big dinner plate sized frightened eyes said “no no” but her body said “all right let’s cook!”.

      Stringing kiwi’s or quinces with butcher’s twine makes a good ball gag.

      Ah good times.

      Aug 20, 2008 at 10:33 am   rating: 19  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.6   AuntyBron

      Naw, it can’t be from Rachel Ray. If it was it would have said “If you’re in the habit of sharing our EVOO – Extra Virgin Olive Oil…”

      Aug 20, 2008 at 1:01 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.7   Miss Unloop

      Those also can make wonderful, all-natural anal beads.

      Aug 20, 2008 at 1:01 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.8   AuntyBron

      Well, that was just too much information.

      Aug 20, 2008 at 1:03 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.9   Timo bang

      Would you be interested in a weekend involving a load of EVOO , bread and a ground cloth? :lol:

      Aug 20, 2008 at 1:26 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.10   PandoraWombat bang

      As long as it’s not a BABY CLOTH.

      Aug 20, 2008 at 5:49 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.11   Bob Fritters

      Is it ok if it’s ground baby?

      Oct 4, 2008 at 10:44 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #2   punkypower

    If the bread is good enough for a squirrel or the compost pile, it’s certainly good enough for the roommates.

    Aug 19, 2008 at 10:06 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #2.1   agirlie bang

      I’m sure there are some hungry Freegans out there that wouldn’t mind digging through the garbage for left over moldy bread….let’s not forget the freegans…
      http://freegan.info/

      Aug 20, 2008 at 7:41 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.2   katrina

      weren’t the manson gang “freegans” also?..and, if I understand the concept from that link, they don’t want to “support” the companies but will use the stuff as long as they don’t have to pay for it?

      Aug 20, 2008 at 10:05 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.3   agirlie bang

      My understanding is that they basically raid the garbage for usable food and other things. I personally think it is disgusting. I think it was in New York….the local gov’t had to make some kind of law to prevent the people from raiding the garbage of businesses and making a mess on the streets. Check out the foraging sites page, very interesting.

      Aug 20, 2008 at 10:49 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.4   aaa

      Okay, so they’re against the whole economic system, yet it’s okay for them to benefit from the system by eating its leftovers?

      Fucking hypocritical cheap-ass self-serving hippies…

      Aug 20, 2008 at 10:56 am   rating: 13  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.5   agirlie bang

      Agreed!
      Their life would be unsustainable without the very people they claim to criticize.

      Aug 20, 2008 at 11:18 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.6   aaa

      That reminds me of that episode of King of the Hill where hippies took over the park.

      “We have a right to those potties!”

      http://www.tv.com/king-of-the-hill/phish-and-wildlife/episode/287177/summary.html

      They just don’t want to work or use any damn effort in life, so they concoct some bizarre, convoluted ideology as an excuse to leech on society.

      Aug 20, 2008 at 11:31 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.7   Emily

      no, that’s not what freeganism is supposed to be. it’s supposed to subvert the system by emphasizing the need for community solutions to social problems, like hunger and poverty. one example of the community solution is scavenging food that would otherwise be thrown away but is perfectly edible and sharing it with others. that’s why they often have big block parties to share the scavenged food with whoever wants to have it. sure, some people don’t get that this is the philosophy of freeganism and they just think “sweet, free food”, but they’re certainly in the minority. freeganism is definitely an effective activist strategy. check out gibson and graham’s work for more examples…

      ok, i’m done grand-standing, sorry…

      Aug 20, 2008 at 11:37 am   rating: 17  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.8   aaa

      That might not what it’s supposed to be, but that’s what it certainly turned out to be. The brotherhood and sharing are a nice touch, but that certainly doesn’t change the fact that they benefit from an economic system that they claim to not want to be a part of.

      Aug 20, 2008 at 11:45 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.9   hamburke

      I watch too much Discovery Channel but I thought that the idea wasn’t so much supporting the companies or getting things for free but Freegans started out as a project to expose how much wasted food businesses were disposing of. I think it’s an “interesting” project – not something for mostly conservative, germaphobe me though.

      Aug 20, 2008 at 12:00 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.10   aaa

      It’s interesting as a project, but really kinda wankerish as the lifestyle that it’s become.

      But maybe my anti-hippie diatribe was because I woke up this morning in a PETA-induced fog of hate. :D

      Aug 20, 2008 at 12:23 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.11   Timo bang

      That supposed minority sure makes a big mess and is the most observed.

      Dirty fucking slacking hippies. Send them to some shit water country and let them “freegan there”!

      Aug 20, 2008 at 12:49 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.12   RunBarbara bang

      as someone who has all-too-recently experienced freeganism at its finest, i have to say-
      digging in dumpsters is fucking nasty. yes, you can get some good food out of there that shouldn’t have been thrown away, but you still have to put your hands in garbage. its like fucking pam anderson…sure, you get to fuck her, but you still have to put your parts where tommy lee has been.
      at any rate, you can see that both fucking pam anderson and digging in dumpsters is a hepatitis risk.

      Aug 20, 2008 at 12:51 pm   rating: 29  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.13   Timo bang

      I think the opening is similar in both cases also.

      Aug 20, 2008 at 1:28 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.14   secondsout bang

      they probably smell about the same, too.

      Aug 20, 2008 at 1:53 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.15   Timo bang

      I saw Pam Anderson at Planet Hollywood Casino and her skirt was so short you could see a banana peel hanging out.

      Aug 20, 2008 at 3:18 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.16   secondsout bang

      No, Timo, that was the flypaper.

      Aug 20, 2008 at 3:40 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #3   Delurker bang

    Hi One,
    Squirrels are infamous for stealing extra virgin olive oil, so we don’t think we should encourage them by feeding them our bread.

    We can’t eat the bread because there is no olive oil in which to dip our bread. You really ought to get on that oil shortage ASAP.
    Thanks,
    All

    Aug 19, 2008 at 10:21 pm   rating: 25  small thumbs up

     
  • #4   0falcon8 bang

    If she’s gonna be all out of evoo, how’s she gonna lubricate that stick up her ass?

    Aug 19, 2008 at 10:22 pm   rating: 42  small thumbs up

     
  • #5   Fresca

    Clearly I am not much of a gourmet– my first thought was “If there’s extra virgin olive oil, why not share it? I always share if I have extra of something.”

    Aug 19, 2008 at 10:45 pm   rating: 27  small thumbs up

    • #5.1   Mark bang

      Especially virgins. Virgins are meant to be shared.

      Oh, wait…

      Aug 19, 2008 at 11:03 pm   rating: 13  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.2   Burghardt

      If they were shared they wouldn’t be virgins anymore, eh.

      Aug 19, 2008 at 11:14 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.3   Mark bang

      Hence the “Oh, wait…”

      Duh! :)

      Aug 19, 2008 at 11:27 pm   rating: 10  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.4   Burghardt

      face – palm

      I assumed the “oh wait” had to do with realizing this was about a common cooking fluid and not ladies with undefiled morals. perhaps I thought too highly of yours??

      Aug 20, 2008 at 2:21 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.5   Goldie

      But what about those extra-virgins, maybe those can be shared. I dunno; I’ve only met the plain regular ones, not the extra ones.

      Aug 20, 2008 at 7:00 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.6   Holiday Djinn

      I agree. Seriously, if you see or have any extra virgins, send them my way. ;-)

      Aug 20, 2008 at 7:27 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.7   se

      no comment…
      already been said, sorry, too early for brain

      Aug 20, 2008 at 9:15 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.8   Timo

      It is always good to have an extra virgin around…you know so you can contrast and compare.

      Olive oyl was no virgin she was double clutching Popeye and Brutus. Olive Oyl was a DP whore.

      Aug 20, 2008 at 10:37 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.9   Canthz_B bang

      Did you see the Maury Show where they tested Popeye and Brutus for Sweet Pea’s paternity?
      Both Popeye and Brutus were stunned, but Olive Oyl came back on a follow-up show and proved Wimpy is the real father.

      Aug 20, 2008 at 3:14 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.10   Timo bang

      Wha wha what! :shock:

      Well now that you mention it “hamburger” must have been a code word. He really wanted tuna.

      Aug 20, 2008 at 3:17 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.11   Mishee bang

      I would love to see Wimpy get out of child support!

      That shit don’t fly like it does at the local burger joint!

      Aug 20, 2008 at 3:18 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.12   Canthz_B bang

      “I’ll gladly pay you Tuesdays, for the baby you had today.”…?

      Aug 20, 2008 at 4:03 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.13   0falcon8 bang

      that certainly puts the Hamburgler in a whole new light…

      Aug 20, 2008 at 4:12 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.14   Red Letterboxer bang

      That’s who was stealing the fax paper!

      Aug 20, 2008 at 4:14 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.15   OnTheEdge

      Wait a minute, I am getting confused. Are Wimpy, Popeye, and Brutus squirrels?

      Aug 20, 2008 at 4:57 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #6   morpho aurora bang

    To: *****@yahoogroups.com
    Re: bread in trash

    Yes, there is a reason. :twisted:

    Aug 19, 2008 at 10:46 pm   rating: 12  small thumbs up

     
  • #7   Cat Skyfire

    I’m disturbed that they had a yahoogroup for communication for a household.

    Aug 19, 2008 at 10:51 pm   rating: 22  small thumbs up

    • #7.1   ellemarie bang

      I’ve lived in a house like that. fortunately my landlord didn’t live there with us, however, he did once email everyone in the house to ask if we knew where one of our roommates was.. and to inform us exactly how much money said roommate owed him, and exactly how much money said roommate’s bank claimed was in his personal checking account.

      damn I wish I still had that email…

      Aug 20, 2008 at 12:39 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.2   aaa

      I think the roommate has more problems than just being in debt to the big-mouthed landlord if his bank is telling people other than him what the balance of his accounts are.

      Aug 20, 2008 at 11:07 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.3   Numinous bang

      I contacted a tenant’s bank after he bounced 2 checks to me. Bank of America was completely incompetent and ended up sending me his bank statement. Talk about violating a customer’s privacy.

      I still have it somewhere. You never know when that information could come in handy. That deadbeat still owes me money and I can promise you it won’t be settled in court.

      Aug 20, 2008 at 3:09 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.4   Quite Contrary bang

      Which came first for mass distribution of passive aggressive notes? Yahoogroups or Facebook?

      Aug 20, 2008 at 4:23 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.5   Quite Contrary bang

      Extra credit question: And which is truly more passive agressive?

      Aug 20, 2008 at 4:24 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.6   ellemarie bang

      (yeah, his was apparently bank of america as well… pretty dull for a bunch of evil masterminds.) but my point was, why would the landlord tell ALL SEVEN OF US in the house about this kid’s financial issues???

      ps – facebook is definitely more passive aggressive.

      Aug 20, 2008 at 4:37 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.7   aaa

      Yahoo groups came first but Facebook is way more passive aggressive since you have more avenues for passive aggression such as photos, status updates, wall posts, private and group messages, and various applications.

      Aug 20, 2008 at 8:58 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #8   Canthz_B bang

    Who the Hell eats acorn-flavored bread?

    Aug 19, 2008 at 10:55 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #8.1   aaa

      Hippies, I suppose. I’ve heard that acorns taste like shit.

      Aug 20, 2008 at 11:07 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.2   Timo bang

      Patchouli stinking dirty hippies.

      Aug 20, 2008 at 12:51 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.3   PandoraWombat bang

      Well, you’ll get in trouble for eating PopCorn flavored bread.

      Aug 20, 2008 at 5:55 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.4   aaa

      But only if you burn it in the microwave.

      Aug 20, 2008 at 9:00 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #9   Burghardt

    Is there any reason not to feed to squirrels, compost or even eat this bread

    rabies, it stinks, and it’s moldy

    come to think of it, these are also good reasons to not have roommates/landlords.

    Aug 19, 2008 at 10:59 pm   rating: 12  small thumbs up

     
  • #10   pythagoras

    I’m confused. So the roommate/landlord is out of EVOO if they’re NOT in the habit of sharing it? Well, this just makes no sense to me.

    Aug 19, 2008 at 11:06 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #11   figsy

    that evoo was fucking delicious, unlike the bread.

    Aug 19, 2008 at 11:08 pm   rating: 14  small thumbs up

    • #11.1   PercussionQueen7

      In lieu of Mishee’s usual policing, I believe we have a unitard for you.

      Aug 20, 2008 at 1:46 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.2   amazon bang

      Sorry, Michael Phelps is still using it:

      http://www.mokers.org/blog/images/2008/02/sports/michael-phelps-speedo.png

      Aug 20, 2008 at 3:29 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.3   Fnnkybutt

      The difference between figsy and Michael Phelps? MP makes that unitard look gooooood.

      Aug 20, 2008 at 3:34 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.4   treb

      I believe that EVOO is actually fucking YUMMO.

      Aug 20, 2008 at 10:37 am   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.5   aaa

      Not even Michael Phelps can pull off that unitard. I mean, recreating the whole Vitruvian Man thing is cool and all, but I really don’t want to see his dick all smashed up in that high-tech polyurethane.

      Aug 20, 2008 at 11:11 am   rating: 9  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.6   aaa

      P.S. Michael Phelps kinda looks like a young, slightly better looking Ron Perlman.

      Aug 20, 2008 at 11:12 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.7   Numinous bang

      What version of Ron Perlman? Vincent? Hellboy? Some other heavily prosthetic character?

      Let’s face it, Ron Perlman out of makeup is just scary. No one should be compared to that.

      (Don’t get me wrong, I love him either way. I just don’t think it’s fair to compare someone to him in the looks department.)

      Aug 20, 2008 at 3:13 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.8   aaa

      Ron Perlman out of makeup is indeed scary. I was surprised that he was old as he was when I looked him up on Wikipedia a few months ago since I’ve only seen him in makeup. I’m just hoping that he was better looking when he was younger.

      Michael Phelps does have similar bone structure to Ron Perlman. I mean, he looks like he could at least be a Perlman relative. Like, a son with a fairly attractive mother.

      Aug 20, 2008 at 9:03 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.9   SarahBelle

      11.5: I do.

      Aug 22, 2008 at 3:05 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.10   JeffyTheAsshole

      I’m sure I don’t need to belabor the obvious, Numinous, but Ron Perlman has other film roles. The blowhard in “Last Supper” was a great one for him. It’s about a bunch of liberal-minded grad students in Iowa who kill bigoted dinner guests. They plant the bodies beneath the tomato plants in their back yard. The tomatoes get used to feed guests with pasta also made with…wait for it…EVOO!

      Do I get the Best Tie-In To Original Topic Award?

      While I’m at it, Timo, you should learn about the correct uses of an apostrophe at some point!

      Thank You Terry!

      Aug 22, 2008 at 2:43 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #12   raiseyourglass

    Oh I truly dislike the condecending go green people. Not that I dislike the idea about being eco friendly. But you just wasted electricty to type a message rather than just composting it yourself.

    Aug 19, 2008 at 11:22 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

     
  • #13   Miss Unloop

    When they refer to “this bread”, how are the roomates to know to which bread she is referring? Did they attach a digital image of said bread to the email?

    Aug 19, 2008 at 11:41 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #13.1   Timo

      It was already used before but I will fire up the reference again for this…..
      There were eight by ten color glossy photographs with circles and arrows and a paragraph on the back explaining each one.

      Aug 20, 2008 at 10:41 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #13.2   Mark bang

      Seeing eye dog.

      Blind Justice.

      Aug 20, 2008 at 10:47 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #13.3   Mishee bang

      I always find myself confined to a bench with the Group W’s.

      Aug 20, 2008 at 10:51 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #13.4   Timo

      Sitting on group W bench with mother rapers. Father rapers.

      Aug 20, 2008 at 10:52 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #13.5   Mishee bang

      I don’t know about that, I just have fun filling out the forms and playing with the pencils on the bench there….

      Aug 20, 2008 at 11:00 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #13.6   Timo bang

      you want to know if I’m moral enough to join the army, burn women, kids, houses and villages with blood guts gore and veins in my teeth after bein’ a litterbug?

      Aug 20, 2008 at 11:05 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #14   erin

    Dear world,

    Let’s stop calling it “EVOO”. That would be grand.

    Aug 20, 2008 at 12:30 am   rating: 32  small thumbs up

    • #14.1   agirlie bang

      only that Siobhan Fallon Hogan from “Baby Mama” calls it EVOO-and ONLY as the birthing coach….
      I prefer the ESOO myself.

      Aug 20, 2008 at 12:48 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #14.2   Em Tee

      Oh holy fucking hell; there’s a restaurant called EVOO. Is this shit for real? Fucking Rachael Ray is ruining my life.

      http://www.evoorestaurant.com/

      Aug 21, 2008 at 9:14 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #14.3   Leatherargento

      It’s already in the Merriam-Webster’s Unabridged Dictionary. Try complaining about something that isn’t already a done deal, okay?

      Aug 22, 2008 at 8:34 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #15   ellemarie bang

    all I know is that EVOO sounds like a pokemon, and people who abuse acronyms should not under any circumstances be allowed to live with other people.

    Aug 20, 2008 at 12:33 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

     
  • #16   snee bang

    hey, i’ll chip in for some pam.

    Aug 20, 2008 at 1:44 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #16.1   claw71 bang

      I would lick the butter flavor right off of her ass. *Pam, pam, pam*

      Aug 20, 2008 at 9:23 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #16.2   Xtroll

      I wouldn’t fuck Pam Anderson with your dick even if you covered her in $1000 bills which I got to keep and I got to do the rest of the Bay Watch babes afterward. There is nothing in the world worth fucking that skank. The moldy bread would be handy for shoving in her cock sucker though so we wouldn’t have to hear her PETA pushing, go green, whiny voice.

      Aug 20, 2008 at 4:35 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #16.3   PandoraWombat bang

      We are not Pam. We are EVOO.

      (anyone who gets this reference is showing their age…)

      Aug 20, 2008 at 6:15 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #16.4   Mark bang

      I assume that’s a reference to:

      Are we not men? We are Devo!

      Aug 20, 2008 at 6:30 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #16.5   Timo

      Whip it, whip it good!

      Aug 20, 2008 at 6:42 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #16.6   PandoraWombat bang

      Well, that’s just what the squirrel said.

      Aug 20, 2008 at 8:59 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #17   secondsout bang

    Was it Outback bread? Someone has been looking for that.

    Aug 20, 2008 at 2:41 am   rating: 46  small thumbs up

     
  • #18   ella

    I’m with the landlord. The notes seem fairly well humoured considering that someone apparently finished off his/her expensive oil. And if I have a compost and someone throws food in the garbage, thus stinking up my house, I get fucking annoyed.

    Aug 20, 2008 at 4:09 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #18.1   unholyghost2003 bang

      1. The “someone” who finished off the olive oil could have been her. Are you telling me you have never reached for a bottle of Olive oil or carton of milk only to realize it was empty and there was no one to blame but yourself?
      Bread in good enough condition that it would be suggested for human consumption without gross insult is not stinking up ANY house.
      I know I for one don’t compost and don’t feed moldy bread to squirrels because I am allergic to mold. I know mold is unavoidable but if I can limit my exposure at all I will do so. Moldy bread? I seal the bread bag shut and put it in the trash, I know I get fucking annoyed if people poke around in there releasing the mold spores to sicken me.

      Aug 20, 2008 at 9:59 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #18.2   aaa

      These two notes might be good-humored (I was going to make an ice-cream joke, but then I remembered puns were for wankers), but sending them via e-mail (through a Yahoo group, no less) instead of telling them in person automatically demotes the landlord to the rank of King Wanker.

      Aug 20, 2008 at 12:15 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #19   Goldie

    Hey, let’s not discriminate. If Trash wants to eat some of the bread after a long day out on the curb, she should be allowed to. Unlike that ewok oil from the first email (because, srsly, who wants ewok oil? ewww), the bread needs to be shared!

    Aug 20, 2008 at 7:03 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #19.1   Timo

      Man those ewok’s screech so when you press them for oil. Little fuzzy alien hippies.
      Sand people want ewok oil but they do frighten easily.

      Aug 20, 2008 at 10:44 am   rating: 10  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #20   Goldie

    Another thought, can we see the rest of those threads? I’d give a lot to see the other 11 posts about the oil and the 5 about the bread. I bet they’re fuck… oh never mind.

    Aug 20, 2008 at 7:06 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #21   PandoraWombat bang

    In Soviet Russia bread throws YOU in trash!

    Aug 20, 2008 at 7:18 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #21.1   aaa

      In Soviet Russia, trash composts YOU!

      Aug 20, 2008 at 10:53 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #22   Holiday Djinn

    Seems like everybody is missing the point. You use the bread as bait for the squirrels. Once you catch the squirrels, then you quarter them and start them off in a pan with a little EV-OO. After a while, add in some onion and garlic. Add some good wine, allow the meat to braise for a few minutes.

    Serve, enjoy!

    But hey, I’m a foody

    Aug 20, 2008 at 7:32 am   rating: 15  small thumbs up

    • #22.1   Sue Do Nim

      From start to finish in less than 30 minutes?

      Aug 20, 2008 at 10:04 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #23   PandoraWombat bang

    Agent Butterfield was scared – real scared. The kind of scared that makes you vomit in the elevator and all over the hall.

    He knew that thx Sandra was on to him. It would only be a matter of time before the dogs infesting the bathroom down the hall would tear him and his unitard to bits.

    Desperate, he came upon a plan – a GENIUS plan. Disguised as a piece of stale bread, he surreptitiously climbed into the trash bin in a nearby apartment building. SAFE!

    Uh oh. He heard footsteps coming closer, and closer. The pantry door opened… and he was discoverd! Curses! He would now be fed to squirrels – fulfilling a recurring nightmare he’d had since he first joined the force.

    To add insult to injury – his ill-fated choice of hiding places had now been broadcasted to one of the area’s largest Yahoo! Groups. The very same Yahoo! Group he had been trying to infiltrate to weed out the cucumber terriozists! Ack, the irony!

    If only he had smeared himself in olive oil and chosen the compost heap instead! But wait – there’s no olive oil! AAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!

    Aug 20, 2008 at 7:32 am   rating: 12  small thumbs up

    • #23.1   tinkerbell2

      all those months parked across their driveway in his decommissioned ambulance, watching and waiting – all for nothing.

      Aug 20, 2008 at 8:11 am   rating: 12  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #24   claw71 bang

    It’s not a habit it’s cool I feel alive if you don’t have it you’re on the other side

    As for the bread, I there are plenty of good reasons. First of all you aren’t supposed to feed wildlife, especially squirrels, because they can become aggressive when they lose their natural fear of humans that’s also why I don’t want to compost it. I can’t eat it. I’m off bread. I need to watch my glycemic index and bread’s a no go.

    Aug 20, 2008 at 8:23 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #24.1   CremeBrulee

      No kidding. Bold squirrels freak me out. Wildlife that expects to be fed is annoying at best, and potentially dangerous.

      Maybe if Landlord didn’t spend so much time policing other people’s trash, he/she would have time to buy groceries and not run out of essentials like EVOO.

      Aug 20, 2008 at 12:48 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #24.2   PandoraWombat bang

      Wildlife expecting to be fed is annoying. But I think it is even more annoying when your family members expect to be fed.

      Aug 20, 2008 at 6:01 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #24.3   Secretly Passive Aggresive

      Poor Snow White, she was expected to feed all 7 dwarves, schtup them and then clean up afterwards.

      Aug 21, 2008 at 11:46 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #24.4   katrina

      replied the heavily pregnant snow white to the census taker : ” why yes, there WAS an 8th dwarf …..his name was Humpy, and he left rather suddenly with no forwarding address.”

      Aug 21, 2008 at 4:03 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #25   James

    Hahaha I love the first one so so much.

    The landlord is disgruntled enough to write a note concerning the passing around of his/her decidedly slutty extra virgin olive oil bottle by all and sundry, yet on the off-chance they simply consumed the whole bottle themselves in some sort of “EVOO” induced acid-like haze, they add the last sentence so as not to offend anyone.

    I just love how rather than finishing with a memorable punch-to-the-face sign off, they chooses to let the note taper off into a mire of passive anguish and self-doubt.

    It’s like if Mike White’s character from School of Rock tried to write an aggressive note to the Sarah Silverman character concerning olive oil.

    I may have over-analysed this one.

    Aug 20, 2008 at 9:01 am   rating: 8  small thumbs up

    • #25.1   claw71 bang

      I wouldn’t mind being locked in a room with Sarah Silverman, a half dozen squirrels and a quart of olive oil.

      The things I could stuff in her nostrils.

      Aug 20, 2008 at 9:20 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #25.2   Timo

      I completely agree! Give me a weekend, ten gallons of Costco olive oil, a sleazy hotel room floor covered in bread and a band of squirrels with Sarah Silverman. Oh it will be all kosher Sarah, oh yes.

      I think I already hear the process server walking up with the restraining order.

      Aug 20, 2008 at 10:50 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #25.3   PandoraWombat bang

      Timo, your pork is just not kosher — no matter how much olive oil you put it in. But I’ve heard that the squirrels don’t mind so much.

      Aug 20, 2008 at 6:04 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #26   Em Tee

    I feel like there’s an Axis of EVOO joke in here somewhere…but I’m just too damn tired to think of it.

    Anyone? Anyone?

    Aug 20, 2008 at 9:01 am   rating: 9  small thumbs up

    • #26.1   James

      Olive-r’s army was no match for the Axis of EVOO.

      Because their simply aren’t enough Elivs Costello references these days.

      Aug 20, 2008 at 9:10 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #27   claw71 bang

    I think I saw an episode of 30 minute meals where Rachel Ray poached squirrel in EVOO.

    Doesn’t she strike you as somebody who is going to instantly balloon to 400 pounds the minute her career is over? Yummo! Canned ham!

    Aug 20, 2008 at 9:17 am   rating: 10  small thumbs up

    • #27.1   Holiday Djinn

      If you watch the show, you can tell that Rachel Ray definitely has set of “Fat” pants and “Skinny” pants. Seriously, her ass changes sizes faster than an airbag in a Ford.

      Aug 20, 2008 at 9:39 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #27.2   claw71 bang

      She does seem to thicken rather quickly. Like somebody’s adding corn startch during the show.

      Aug 20, 2008 at 9:53 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #27.3   djr

      Girl’s got squirrel cheeks. I’ve always thought her to be thicker than she pretends.

      Aug 20, 2008 at 10:37 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #27.4   agong bang

      How do you pretend to be thicker than you are? Is that a defense mechanism I didnt know about?

      Aug 20, 2008 at 11:25 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #27.5   aaa

      You bitch about being fat when you’re normally sized and wear oversized, baggy clothes.

      But I think you misread djr’s comment since s/he thinks that Rachel Ray pretends to be skinnier than she actually is.

      Aug 20, 2008 at 11:39 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #27.6   Timo bang

      When you said “Yummo canned ham” was that a reference to the visual appearance of a 400 pound Rachel Ray cooter?

      Aug 20, 2008 at 11:41 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #27.7   aaa

      Well, when somebody gains weight, the cooter remains the same size since it has no fat. So you’d end up with a case of big girl, little cooter.

      But if a 400 pound Rachel Ray did have a yummo canned ham cooter, she’d have a more serious problem than just being morbidly obese.

      Aug 20, 2008 at 12:10 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #27.8   Timo bang

      excuse me I thought there would be the not so small matter of a gunt.

      Aug 20, 2008 at 12:55 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #27.9   Me

      I have to disagree… the cooter gets a FAPA, like my husband calls it Fat Above the P Area.

      Aug 20, 2008 at 3:19 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #27.10   Holiday Djinn

      Really who cares? More cushion, the sweeter the pushin’.

      Aug 20, 2008 at 4:42 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #28   Red Letterboxer bang

    “If you are in the habit of sharing our extra virgin olive oil…”

    I wouldn’t call it a habit, exactly. I only use it recreationally. I mean, I can quit anytime I want to, right? It’s not like I have to have it!

    So, if it’s not a habit I don’t have to buy a new bottle, right?

    Aug 20, 2008 at 9:35 am   rating: 13  small thumbs up

     
  • #29   aaa

    Email 1: Stop watching Rachel Ray. She’s been scientifically proven to shrink the volume of her viewers’ brains by at least 80%. Although it might be too late for you at this point in time…

    Email 2: You’re perfectly welcome to dig the bread out of the trash if you really want to eat trash bread, properly maintain a compost heap, and deal with overly tame wild animals that assault you for handouts. Just don’t ask us to “share” in the responsibility.

    Aug 20, 2008 at 10:44 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #30   Quite Contrary bang

    Landlords and roommates are the axis of evil.

    Aug 20, 2008 at 10:44 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #31   aaa

    So our anonymous submitter, are you going to be emailing your house’s Yahoo group (WTF?) with this URL?

    Aug 20, 2008 at 11:18 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #32   RALPHY

    Advice to landlord meekly given;
    Go get replacement E.V. olive oil and drink about a cup. The ensuing diarrhea might fix your head problem. Oh–and by the-I’m a big girl now and can do what the hell I want with my moldy bread. Fuck the squirrels.

    Aug 20, 2008 at 11:59 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #32.1   PETA

      Don’t fuck the squirrels!

      Aug 20, 2008 at 12:45 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #32.2   Timo bang

      Yeah don’t fuck the squirrels, it splits them right in half. Then you have to saute them up in some shallots, garlic and man butter.

      Aug 20, 2008 at 12:58 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #32.3   Secretly Passive Aggresive

      Roast Squirrels

      3 small squirrels

      ¾ cup cooking oil

      ¼ cup lemon juice

      2 cups breadcrumbs

      ½ cup milk or cream

      1 cup sliced mushrooms, sautéed

      ½ teaspoon salt

      ¼ teaspoon pepper

      ½ teaspoon onion juice

      4 tablespoons olive oil or bacon fat

      Dress and clean squirrels, wash in several waters and dry. Cover with cooking oil mixed with lemon juice and let stand for 1 hour. Combine crumbs with just enough milk to moisten, mushrooms, salt, pepper and onion juice. Stuff squirrels with this mixture, sew and truss. Place in roaster. Brush with olive oil or bacon fat. Roast uncovered in slow oven (325F) until tender, 1½ to 1¾ hours. Baste every 15 minutes with fat. Serve with pan gravy. Serves 6.

      Stewed Squirrels

      Clean 3 squirrels, cut lengthwise into halves, simmer in boiling salted water with 1lb carrots until tender…

      Aug 20, 2008 at 1:23 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #32.4   Secretly Passive Aggresive

      BTW, this is a real recipe I found online. If you substituted the squirrel for something like chicken, I’d bet it would be tasty. Notice the recipe uses bread (crumbs) and olive oil.

      Aug 20, 2008 at 3:34 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #32.5   Timo bang

      Okay fine checkmate on my not so witty” saute in man-butter.”

      Aug 20, 2008 at 5:47 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #32.6   secondsout bang

      Ralphy is a big girl now? Modern medicine works wonders!

      Aug 20, 2008 at 7:07 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #32.7   Secretly Passive Aggresive

      Actually, I have to give Timo props for the man-butter.
      I’ll have to try to remember to use it.
      Baby-batter is way overused, much like that slutty olive oil.

      Aug 21, 2008 at 11:19 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #32.8   Timo bang

      Baby tempura is just so 1990′s!

      Aug 21, 2008 at 11:41 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #33   thirty six red

    Either make fondue or croutons. Better yet throw chunks of said bread all over his feckin roof and see how he likes it when the arboreal rodents go into feeding frenzy.

    Aug 20, 2008 at 12:57 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #34   bobby

    Mind your fuckin business, I will throw away whatever I want that is mine.

    ps. living with your landlord can be detrimental to your health.

    Aug 20, 2008 at 1:29 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #35   Canthz_B bang

    Bread-fed squirrel soaks up a lot of EVOO in the pan, almost as much as eggplant, but it makes for Good Eats!

    Aug 20, 2008 at 1:48 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #36   OnTheEdge

    Anybody consider yet that the squirrels are eating both the bread AND the EVOO. C’mon folks, get with the program. Damn fucking rodents.

    Aug 20, 2008 at 2:37 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #37   Lurker

    Yes, there is a reason to not feed to squirrels, compost, or even eat this bread.

    That reason is, I didn’t fucking feel like it.

    See? There’s a reason for everything!

    Aug 20, 2008 at 2:40 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #38   secondsout bang

    The real reason that the landlord complained about the bread in the trash is that it was in the feminine hygiene receptacle. Bloody pons only – no bread!

    Aug 20, 2008 at 2:55 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #38.1   Xtroll

      Moldy bread doesn’t work well as a tampon. You usually end up with an yeast infection.

      Aug 20, 2008 at 4:52 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #38.2   amy d bang

      Enjoy your yeast infection!

      Aug 20, 2008 at 4:59 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #38.3   Timo bang

      A hot summers day, Arm and hammer body powder and a Yeast infection and a hour of walking around and you have rolls. Toss some cinnamon in yer panties and you have a coffee time treat~!

      Aug 20, 2008 at 5:46 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #38.4   PandoraWombat bang

      “Moldy bread doesn’t work well as a tampon. You usually end up with an yeast infection.”

      Why do you think they invented unleavened bread?

      Aug 20, 2008 at 6:10 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #39   ellemarie bang

    listen, we threw that bread away when we discovered it was saturated in EVOO. I’d suggest ordering some more on eBay, but only if you’re an overseas buyer.

    if not, well, I guess you’re out of olive oil.

    Aug 20, 2008 at 5:01 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #39.1   PandoraWombat bang

      I think WHITEBLIZZARD70 sells EVOO online.

      Aug 20, 2008 at 6:11 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #39.2   aaa

      Yeah, but he doesn’t sell to HOMEGROWN IMBECILES.

      Aug 20, 2008 at 9:11 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #40   Crash bang

    What is the mathematical equasion as to why the sky is blue ? :mrgreen:

    Aug 20, 2008 at 9:38 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #40.1   Crash bang

      *equation*

      Why won’t i.e. let me fix my error ?

      Aug 20, 2008 at 9:43 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #40.2   claw71 bang

      eerac and kerry are in the epic struggle for power. It’s like Lucifer and God. One of them will be cast from the heavens and forced to live in the fiery pit.

      Aug 20, 2008 at 9:47 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #40.3   Crash bang

      What’s the mathematical equation for that ?

      Aug 20, 2008 at 9:50 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #40.4   Canthz_B bang

      There will be plagues upon the PANscape such as will make “Crazy Italics Day” pale in comparison.

      Aug 20, 2008 at 9:55 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #40.5   Crash bang

      …CAPITAL BOLD ITALICS DAY ??? :lol:

      Aug 20, 2008 at 9:59 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #41   gwennie

    To all EVOO-Users:

    Don’t burn olive oil in the microwave! It fucking stinks!

    Thx

    Aug 21, 2008 at 9:18 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #42   Calophi

    That bread was not fucking delicious!

    Aug 21, 2008 at 9:48 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #42.1   RunBarbara bang

      the bread, no…your mom, yes!

      Aug 21, 2008 at 10:47 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #42.2   Mishee bang

      Calophi – I’m thinking that just because you used the word “not” doesn’t exempt you from your duty to don the almighty Unitard. Fucking Delicious is Fucking Delicious not matter which way you spin it.

      Please step up and do you punishment like a man.

      Aug 21, 2008 at 1:39 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #43   ?????

    Amy quit looking over here.

    Aug 21, 2008 at 3:44 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #43.1   ?????

      You’re all wrong. There would have been proper nesting then.

      Squirrels build their nests in oak trees.

      Aug 21, 2008 at 4:26 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #43.2   ?????

      Say it in a Sean Connery accent. Like in The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen, “the mystery still stands.”

      Aug 21, 2008 at 5:06 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #43.3   ?????

      I am fairly certain you missed the mark.

      Aug 21, 2008 at 5:13 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #44   Charles De Mar

    I’ve been going to this high school for seven and a half years. I’m no dummy. I know high school girls.

    Aug 21, 2008 at 3:49 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #44.1   Lane

      I don’t know what’s worse, church or jail.

      Aug 21, 2008 at 4:37 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #44.2   Mishee bang

      Man, you’re the hottest thing since sunburns! …girls will go sterile just looking at you!

      Aug 21, 2008 at 5:33 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #44.3   Cowgirlgraphics

      Excellent quote from the classic movie: Better Off Dead.

      Aug 22, 2008 at 12:19 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #45   ?????

    it is always the squirrels you don’t see that are up to the most shenanigans!

    Aug 21, 2008 at 4:14 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #46   YogaforCynics

    Hmmm…I was recently involved with a nutty woman in Takoma Park…she didn’t have a roommate but…hell, there was that room she wouldn’t let me into….

    Aug 21, 2008 at 10:04 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     

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