Jasy from Laurel, Maryland spotted this beauty while driving down the New Jersey Turnpike.
“I’m dying to know just how blasphemous Denise is to deserve the sign,” Jasy says. “But is it really that surprising that the Anti-Christ would claim Jersey as home base?”
related: No, He uses Vaseline
extra credit: “Hey, look our toll plaza over” [nytimes.com]
123 responses so far ↓
#1
amy d
I work with a lady named Denise Christ (although not in Jersey). Obviously this sign is wrong.
Aug 23, 2008 at 1:42 pm rating: 90
#2
amy d
Denise, the Anti Christ, now open on Sunday from 12 to 9!
Aug 23, 2008 at 1:44 pm rating: 90
#3
0falcon8
Denise the Anti-Christ now sponsored by:
Anheuser-Busch
Aug 23, 2008 at 1:50 pm rating: 90
#4
fantasy
“Turn left at the Turnpike Inn”
“That is what it says here on Mapquest, I told you honey, I got the directions on how to get our “Handbasket straight through to Hell.”
” This seems to be the shortest route.” “Yes, I know we will miss Mass on Sunday because it says here the Turnpike is only open from 9 to 12, but it is the quickest route”!
Aug 23, 2008 at 2:09 pm rating: 90
#5
ian in hamburg
A coded message, obviously.
Denise is an auntie? Christ!
Aug 23, 2008 at 2:32 pm rating: 90
#6
Canthz_B
I’ve had my heart crushed by a woman, but Denise took this dude’s soul!!
Aug 23, 2008 at 2:49 pm rating: 90
#7
Canthz_B
That must be off a turnpike exit. It doesn’t look like one of the NJ Turnpike rest areas.
I’ll bet it’s down in rural South Jersey too. That’s were we keep our state’s bible belt and Confederate flag license plates.
Aug 23, 2008 at 2:56 pm rating: 90
#8
Quite Contrary
She buzzed apartment #3…more than once.
Aug 23, 2008 at 3:21 pm rating: 90
#9
Canthz_B
Jasy is from Maryland. Maybe the anti-Christ just prefers NJ because she loves money!
States ranked by median household income in order
Average Median Household Income by State:
1. New Jersey – $64,169
2. Maryland – $62,372
3. Hawaii – $60,681
4. New Hampshire – $60,489
5. Connecticut – $59,972
Aug 23, 2008 at 3:29 pm rating: 90
#10
aaa
Damn! And here I thought I was the anti-Christ! I guess I’ll have to step up my soul stealing and Bible burning.
Aug 23, 2008 at 3:34 pm rating: 90
#11
snee
gee, i always thought the anti-christ would be called bob or mavis or, oh, i don’t know…mishee.
Aug 23, 2008 at 4:33 pm rating: 90
#12
HS
Is that Big letter A the SCARLET LETTER for Denise? After all, she is the Anti-Christ and is on display from 12-9.
Aug 23, 2008 at 4:42 pm rating: 90
#13
Miss Unloop
Especially Deborah and Denise the Anti-Christ need to hook up and burn PopCorn together over the fiery pits of hell.
Aug 23, 2008 at 4:56 pm rating: 90
#14
Crash
The Jersey Devil attends religiously.
Aug 23, 2008 at 4:57 pm rating: 90
#15
Red Letterboxer
“Denise is the Anti Christ – Open Sunday 12 to 9″
Because even the Anti Christ is closed during church services on Sunday morning.
Aug 23, 2008 at 5:07 pm rating: 90
#16
Red Letterboxer
I think I saw Denise Is The Anti Christ open for Peter Gabriel back in the 80s.
Aug 23, 2008 at 5:08 pm rating: 90
#17
Miss Unloop
If Denise is “open” between 12 and 9 on Sundays, she WOULD be the Anti-Christ…
Aug 23, 2008 at 5:17 pm rating: 90
#18
schrodingersduck
Last time I visited the Turnpike Inn, I had a Hell of a time. The staff are a bit beastly, but the breakfast is sinfully good – the devilled eggs are damned tasty!
Aug 23, 2008 at 5:21 pm rating: 90
#19
michelle
I can’t say I’m surprised that the anti-christ is named Denise.
Aug 23, 2008 at 7:18 pm rating: 90
#20
secondsout
Maybe Charlie Sheen owns this inn.
Aug 23, 2008 at 9:21 pm rating: 90
#21
secondsout
You know, with signs like this, someone could have put that up as a joke on the business owners. I *might* have done that a time or two. A restaurant’s country daily catfish special on sundays somehow became the “daily assfuck special” after some creative rearranging of the letters, and taking letters from the other side of the sign.
Aug 23, 2008 at 9:31 pm rating: 90
#22
secondsout
And all this time I thought Ann Coulter was the anti-Christ.
Aug 23, 2008 at 9:35 pm rating: 90
#23
pilgrimchick
I’m curious about Denise’s reaction to this–whether she may see nine hours of performance as the Anti-Christ as far too much, or whether she may disagree with the connotation entirely.
Aug 23, 2008 at 10:20 pm rating: 90
#24
Your Sister
Wow, Canthz B, you really are one of those folks who can dish it out but can’t take it, aren’t you? Way to defend NJ. It really is a gorgeous armpit!
Aug 23, 2008 at 10:21 pm rating: 90
#25
momentaryennui
“denise is the anti christ”
please ignore the above statement as being in any way creepy and now pay attention to our hours of operation, because there’s absolutely no way that you’re still transfixed on that part about denise being the anti christ. nope. no way at all.
Aug 23, 2008 at 10:51 pm rating: 90
#26
claw71
Denise? She might be a whore but she’s no Antichrist. I’ve seen the Antichrist. I’ve felt her cold fingers grasp my very soul. In fact, I can still feel her claws tearing at my heart. No, Denise is not the Antichrist. These people know not what evil the Antichrist is capable of. I do, for I am caught under the spell of she who must not be named.
She is devious. It’s all so innocent at first. You bump into each other during a Meatloaf parody and feel a slight connection but you dismiss it. It’s the internet, you say, nothing has meaning here. Then you see her again, matching you joke for joke. She proves herself to be your intellectual equal and even surpasses you at times, but not so much as to stir your insecurities. It’s so calculated. You become intrigued, but again you resist. Then she makes the first move…”Come on over and chat, ” she says. So you do, mostly because you’re at work and Mishee’s screwing up the thread with more self-aggrandizement. So you chat. And it’s fun. She’s funny, witty, intelligent and sweet. It’s so easy and natural. Your whole day slips by and you don’t realize it until the cleaning crew comes in to empty your trash can…but even then you don’t care. Because you’re under her spell.
By the time you realize what has happened, she owns you. You tell your self that you won’t chat with her until you fill out those TPS reports but at 10:30 you’re checking the connection to make sure it’s up. Then she logs on and like a giddy school boy you type your reply before she hits the enter key.
The week rolls by and now you’re chatting with her at work and at home as well as the ride between the two. She talks to you about how she likes sex. Likes it rough and dirty just like you. She’s a dream come true. Your eyes glaze over. You narrowly miss running a dangerous red light because you’re responding to her text message…made possible because you gave your phone number out to a total stranger on the web. What were you thinking?
Friday comes and you’re phone is glued to your ear listening to every word that comes out of her mouth. At this point she’s talking gibberish because she knows you don’t care. You just want to hear her. You can almost hear her laughing in disgust at how easy it was.
But you hold out hope…The weekend. Surely you can wrest yourself away from her charms over the weekend. After all, she’s got a life and you pretend you do and this weekend, dammit you’re going to pretend like never before. You make up lies about canoing and bowling, hoping she’ll respect your boundaries and it seems to work. Most of the day goes by and you feel the shackles start to loosen. I’m OK, you say to yourself. I don’t have to murder my wife and kids, at least not for this. But then your phone vibrates and you see that there’s a text waiting for you. You know better but you convince yourself that it could be from somebody else, even though you’re almost 40 and nobody you know even tries to use text messaging. You open that message knowing what’s going to happen and when those cold black talons reach out of the phone to clasp your soul, you bear it willingly.
No Denise is not the Antichrist…just thank the lord you don’t know who it is.
Aug 24, 2008 at 12:54 am rating: 90
#27
pirateywill
At least we know where the anti-christ is. Some one call a pope or something
Aug 24, 2008 at 1:25 am rating: 90
#28
Ellen
That actually made me a little hot…I wonder who has Claw all worked up…
Aug 24, 2008 at 1:51 am rating: 90
#29
Burghardt
could it be ….SATAN?
oops, just showed my age.
Aug 24, 2008 at 6:09 am rating: 90
#30
The Great Joe Bivins
That’s the name of the play they’re putting on, the dates for the show just fell off.
Aug 24, 2008 at 6:22 am rating: 90
#31
what the holy hell
Fuck NJ… do you know how tired I am of being asked if I like the cold, or if I ride a dogsled, or if living in an igloo is fun and how can I get internet in an igloo…
Or if I’m a fisherman… wtf.
Aug 24, 2008 at 8:50 am rating: 90
#32
Crystal
That anti-christ was fucking delicious… :p
Aug 24, 2008 at 1:03 pm rating: 90
#33
john
Denise’s Ex: “Denise is such a bitch!”
Supportive Friend of Denise’s Ex: “Dude, she’s the frickin’ anti-christ!”
Ex: “I’m going to put that on the sign out front!”
Supportive Friend: “You should totally do that!”
Ex: “Yeah!”
Supportive Friend: “Yeah, and let’s drink more beer, too!”
Aug 24, 2008 at 2:37 pm rating: 90
#34
Jahzzie
Ah, to be from The Best State EVAR, New Jersey, where the weak are eaten and you ask the air permission to breathe it. Ok, yes, you play “guess that smell” when driving through Newark or Elizabeth and going to the beach is referred to and pronounced “Goin’ downthashore”. And yes, we know our state is fucked up, we have an entire magazine dedicated to how weird and fucked up we are.
I’m proud to say that I’m from NJ, because being so means that I and the rest of NJ residents could survive a nuclear holocaust.
Where else can you find a 24 hour diner where the wait staff greets you with “What the fuck do you want!?!”
So what if our women are referred to as “Anti-Christs”? We like them like that! Denise is only one of many.
Oh and NJ has it’s own sub level of hell, it’s called the Pine Barrens, home of our very own Jersey Devil.
If ya don’t like our state, and you can get the fuck out. We don’t need you watering down the the greatness that is us.
Aug 24, 2008 at 6:57 pm rating: 90
#35
PandoraWombat
I always thought the Anti-Christ was a comic book superhero.
Never fear — the Anti-Christ is here!
Maybe “Denise” is the Anti-Christ’s everyday identity. Curses for giving that away!!!
Aug 24, 2008 at 7:27 pm rating: 90
#36
F.O.R.
…could this refer to Denise Richards (or whichever way you’re supposed to spell her name) [colon-it's complicated] ?
Aug 25, 2008 at 10:48 am rating: 90
#37
PandoraWilde
Hell=Jersey totally worked in Dogma, so why not in real life?
Aug 27, 2008 at 5:02 am rating: 90
#38
mark
So what does Denise do the rest of the week after being the Anti Christ on Sunday from 12:00 to 9:00? Who is the Anti Christ on Tuesday between the hours of 2:00 am and 6:00 am? How does one apply for this job and what are the qualifications. I’ve looked on Dice and Monster.com and no job listings for the AntiChrist!!! DAMNIT MAN!!!! I NEED to KNOW!!!
Aug 27, 2008 at 1:54 pm rating: 90
#39
Jesus H
I’d pay cash $ to see them replace Denise’s name with mine.
Sep 2, 2008 at 9:02 pm rating: 90
#40 listing in now magazine’s adult classifieds: $70. revenge?
[...] related: the whore of west babylon [...]
Oct 6, 2008 at 9:38 am rating: 90
#41
dkwona mrut
ryfd bvprj ynml tclhwxb zbpqsl vxndcm ghsfzaou
Nov 9, 2008 at 5:53 am rating: 90
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