last year, emily in canterbury, england lived in a house with six other roommates — two guys downstairs, five girls upstairs. as is wont to happen in such circumstances, “we were originally all really good mates, but relationships deteriorated as the year went on,” emily says — “the boys thought the girls were too messy!”
one source of flatmate friction, emily says, was the habit a couple of the girls had of forgetting their keys when they went out clubbing…and then pounding on the front door at 3 a.m., raving drunk, until one of the guys let them in.
the low point came when one of the guys got woken up by an angry taxi driver rapping on his window (after one of the girls had tossed him 50p and run upstairs). emily says this note appeared soon after.
related: the two-word compromise you’re looking for: zip wire
138 responses so far ↓
#1
Canthz_B
Moral of the story is: forget your keys, make a living on your knees!
Aug 25, 2008 at 8:27 pm rating: +64
#2
bean
The only way I always remember my keys is when I’m driving…yes! One more reason to validate my practice makes perfect argument!
Aug 25, 2008 at 8:30 pm rating: 0
#3
Wade
An OD of heroine?
How many more lives will Wonder Woman claim?
Aug 25, 2008 at 8:39 pm rating: +55
#4
LThrace
Drugs are bad mmmkay.
Aug 25, 2008 at 8:40 pm rating: +4
#5
Wade
This note reads like the script 0f a 1950’s health class film strip:
“There once was a girl who went out to get drunk”
*ding*
“But forgot to take her keys.”
Aug 25, 2008 at 8:48 pm rating: +15
#6
Canthz_B
Damn! I thought we were going to get a limerick!
There once was a girl who went out.
To get drunk is what she was about.
Without keys she left home,
On the streets doomed to roam,
Now her pubic hair’s
In Quincy’s comb.
Aug 25, 2008 at 8:52 pm rating: +40
#7
sharp
best.passive-aggressive.note.ever
Aug 25, 2008 at 8:52 pm rating: +1
#8
claw71
Being a man with a healthy sexual appetite I’ve become quite familiar with both brands of whore as well as a subset in both of the aforementioned categories, the dirty whore. After careful consideration I have to say that I much prefer the illegal whore.
Illegal whores are more readily available, they charge much less and they’ll do more. Granted, getting a blow job from one is kind of like watching a 3rd grader chow down on a pudding pop but, what can I say, I rather like that sort of thing. It’s not sensual but it’s effective and I like the enthusiasm. Unlike legal whores, who always seem to up charge for added things like finger placement, illegal whores tend to be more willing to negotiate favorable terms. You’d be surprised at what the promise of a Quarter Pounder with Cheese will get you.
That’s just one man’s opinion but I don’t know if this note really serves as much of a deterrent. Being a whore is an important and fulfilling career and more women should be honored to serve.
Aug 25, 2008 at 8:55 pm rating: +27
#9
Wade
If only she had changed her name to Candace (the scatterbrained strumpet), she might have attracted a more upscale clientele.
Aug 25, 2008 at 9:03 pm rating: +19
#10
amy d
The Silly Slut was one of my favorite primers as a girl. She always got into so much mischief!
Aug 25, 2008 at 9:04 pm rating: +14
#11