French roast black, with a dash of deference

August 26th, 2008 · 203 comments

Despite the logo on this breakroom note, Nikki in Fresno doesn’t work at Starbucks. (She just wishes she does.)

CREAMER IS NOT FOR THIS PURPOSE

related: Be curtius

FILED UNDER: California · CAPS LOCK · Fresno · high on highlighter · ital overkill · money · office · overzealous secretary · Starbucks


203 responses so far ↓

  • #1   agirlie

    Maybe the amount of overtime required to make the company grow so rapidly has made everyone consume more coffee thereby increasing need for creamer and sugar.

    Besides-if they are pissed at Esp. Deborah for using creamer in her oatmeal, they should approach her directly! Who the ef eats oatmeal at work?????

    Aug 26, 2008 at 6:24 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #1.1   Eric B.

      My boss eats oatmeal at work all the time. What’s worse, he doesn’t even prepare it here. He makes it at home, drives to work with the bowl and spoon in the front seat, then wanders around the department eating it.

      Aug 26, 2008 at 7:04 pm   rating: 22  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.2   Miss Unloop bang

      Actually, I used to work with a woman named Deborah who would eat oatmeal at work, and then leave the bowl in the sink with the residual oat-and-slime mixture, and never run water in it. As I work the evening shift, by the time I came in it had always hardened to a rather unattractive, textured crust. I used to clean it out every night before I left to keep the kitchen area tidy, but soon tired of it and went on “dish strike”.

      She quit soon thereafter.

      I don’t think she used creamer, though.

      Aug 26, 2008 at 7:11 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.3   Miss Unloop bang

      “Besides-if they are pissed at Esp. Deborah for using creamer in her oatmeal, they should approach her directly! Who the ef eats oatmeal at work?????”

      Well, then it wouldn’t be passive-aggressive, now, would it? ;)

      Aug 26, 2008 at 9:15 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.4   Claire

      OMG!!! Starbucks is into bondage??? “Once we are out of products my hands are tied” ??? Evidently, I have been going to the WRONG Starbucks?

      Aug 26, 2008 at 11:13 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.5   Red Letterboxer bang

      “Who the ef eats oatmeal at work?????”

      I generally read PAN as I start my day at the office – and I was enjoying a bowl of shredded wheat at my desk as I read this! Granted, it’s not oatmeal, but I think the principle is the same.

      I do have a coworker that sometimes makes oatmeal in the mornings in the breakroom microwave. At least it’s not instant grits.

      Aug 27, 2008 at 9:14 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.6   gwennie

      To all oatmeal-users (especially southside-office):

      Plz don’t burn creamer in the microwave. It effin’ stinks!

      Thx

      Aug 27, 2008 at 9:25 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.7   class-factotum

      I used to go to the gym before work, then shower, change and go straight to the office rather than going home in between. (The gym was two blocks from work, home was 13 miles.) I didn’t want to eat breakfast at 5:30 a.m., so would make oatmeal once I got to work. I didn’t use the company creamer, but I did use the company milk, which I think was fair — I never drank the coffee, so it wasn’t like I was consuming more than my fair share of the free stuff. I washed my dishes immediately and put them back in my desk.

      Aug 27, 2008 at 9:36 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.8   Mishee bang

      Did you remember to spay for NATS?

      Aug 27, 2008 at 9:40 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.9   anglophile bang

      *is enjoying a delicious bowl of home-made, not-from-scratch oatmeal with apples, pecans and brown sugar while at work right now*

      Working at an Inn has a few perks. All this oatmeal talk made me hungry for some, and lo and behold the cook made some for breakfast this morning. Perfect timing!

      Aug 27, 2008 at 9:45 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.10   agirlie

      I hope the office oatmeal eaters also brought their toothbrushes. Ick…..what’s wrong with a little pre-prepared snack like a breakfast bar or even those oatmeal bars?

      **shudders**

      I must be having oatmeal flashbacks!

      Aug 27, 2008 at 10:21 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.11   Goldie

      Yeah, seriously, ick. What’s wrong with a pre-prepared snack bar for breakfast, hamburger for lunch, pizza for dinner and delicious potato chips in between? O wait, I weigh four hundred pounds and I’m about to have a coronary, how’d this happen?

      Aug 27, 2008 at 10:42 am   rating: 12  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.12   anglophile bang

      Oh, I see what it is, agirlie. You’re one of those oatophobes.

      ;)

      Aug 27, 2008 at 11:04 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.13   Alicia

      I used to eat oatmeal at work. We had a water cooler that also had the water heat feature. It was easy to keep the packets in my desk and use that for a quick breakfast.

      Aug 27, 2008 at 2:16 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.14   bobby

      i eat oatmeal at work. the other option is to by an 8 dollar chicken sandwich downstairs that is not worth $8. It’s cheap and fast and lowers your cholesteral.

      Sep 3, 2008 at 9:40 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #2   Canthz_B bang

    I thought all creamer/sugar Nazis were into bondage. Apparently not. :-P

    Aug 26, 2008 at 6:27 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #2.1   secondsout bang

      His hands are tied. To what, I’m not sure. Perhaps the filing cabinet, while his legs are shackled to the fax machine.

      Aug 26, 2008 at 6:40 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.2   RunBarbara bang

      its really so easy to turn a standard office chair into a rack. all you need are a few rolls of scotch tape, some thumb tacks and a three hole puncher.

      Aug 26, 2008 at 7:00 pm   rating: 16  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.3   Mishee bang

      “rack”

      Aug 26, 2008 at 7:02 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.4   Timo bang

      Hot coffee and bound hands… What kind of office is this anyway!?!? :shock:

      Aug 26, 2008 at 7:10 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.5   RunBarbara bang

      the kind im sending my resume to right….now

      Aug 26, 2008 at 7:12 pm   rating: 19  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.6   Timo bang

      …Binder clips on nipples and hot toner across taut stomaches!

      Aug 26, 2008 at 7:17 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.7   RunBarbara bang

      holy crap, timo- are you spying on me?

      Aug 26, 2008 at 7:19 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.8   Mishee bang

      No I sent him pics from the last time you and I got together.

      Remember the board meeting??

      Aug 26, 2008 at 7:22 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.9   Timo bang

      security cameras are fun!
      *whew…fans self*

      :twisted:

      Aug 26, 2008 at 7:30 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.10   Claire

      Not only am I working for the wrong company, but obviously I selected the wrong career! Who knew that working in Starbucks “behind the scenes” could be so fun and rewarding?

      “Oh, please, Mistress Latte, may I have another?”

      Aug 26, 2008 at 11:18 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.11   Claire

      It is my understanding that such office sadists will only play with the employees who use company creamer and sugar in oatmeal….Now from Quaker Oats…Instant Masochism and Cream Oatmeal (forget the fruit flavors)

      Aug 26, 2008 at 11:44 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.12   djr

      Hmm.. And I thought my delivering packages all day was innuendo enough.

      I had no idea a three hole punch had such valuable qualities.

      Aug 27, 2008 at 1:10 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.13   Claire

      LOL, djr! I never knew asking the hottie delivery guy, “Do you have a package there for me?” was such an innuendo! I am beginning to enjoy work! :)

      Aug 28, 2008 at 6:29 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #3   Stitchin-Liz bang

    I agree, how DARE they use creamer for anything other than beverages! And only one creamer per coffee you greedy bastards!
    And only one napkin/paper towel! And stop using the spoons/forks, we didn’t put them out there for you to use!

    Aug 26, 2008 at 6:29 pm   rating: 9  small thumbs up

    • #3.1   glastonberry

      Al Gore …. ah, never mind.

      Aug 27, 2008 at 5:53 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.2   jw

      This sign looks like something that would be put up at our work place. The plastic silverware here is kept under the front desk because we were all using it and it wasn’t there for the staff usage. Not sure why we have it then. They also don’t buy creamer for the coffee and keep a count of the coffee packages and have a melt down if it seems like they are going down too fast. Although they just assume that if something is disappearing that the staff is stealing it. Yes I always wanted plastic silverware and coffee packets.

      Aug 29, 2008 at 9:48 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.3   Hizzeather bang

      I eat oatmeal all the time, but I never thought to add creamer. Thanks for the great idea! :)

      Sep 10, 2008 at 11:34 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #4   claw71 bang

    I got your creamer right here.

    Aug 26, 2008 at 6:31 pm   rating: 30  small thumbs up

    • #4.1   Claire

      Hubba hubba, Claw71! I KNEW we could count upon you to come through….

      Aug 26, 2008 at 11:19 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.2   Holiday Djinn

      Do you have to charge extra?

      Aug 27, 2008 at 8:51 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #5   anglophile bang

    So now I’m being discriminated against at the workplace because I was born preferring oatmeal instead of coffee?

    Aug 26, 2008 at 6:36 pm   rating: 15  small thumbs up

    • #5.1   Claire

      And oatmeal with creamer is so fucking delicious…wait…has someone already said that?

      Aug 26, 2008 at 11:21 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.2   RunBarbara bang

      No, everyone feared whats about to happen to you….
      Its Unitard Time!
      *hands Claire the unitard *
      I think Falcon wore it last, so just shake it out. Enjoy your four hours.

      Aug 27, 2008 at 10:40 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.3   Timo bang

      I don’t know it looked like it was standing in the corner on it’s own accord. It might need the barnacles scraped out of it first.

      Aug 27, 2008 at 5:04 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.4   Claire

      Unitard time…joy…though it seems to have taken on a life of its own now….

      Aug 28, 2008 at 6:30 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #6   secondsout bang

    You run out, you run out. Fuck it! If people want creamer and there isn’t any, they’ll bring some from home.

    Aug 26, 2008 at 6:37 pm   rating: 10  small thumbs up

     
  • #7   secondsout bang

    The official sugar ration is one spoonful per employee per day. If you consume more than your ration, you will drive the company out of business. You wouldn’t want that, would you?

    Aug 26, 2008 at 6:38 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

     
  • #8   Canthz_B bang

    “You’ll have your coffee the way I have mine – one sugar, one creamer – and like it!”

    - Cruella DeVille

    Aug 26, 2008 at 6:39 pm   rating: 12  small thumbs up

    • #8.1   Xtroll

      I like my coffee like I like my women,

      HOT AND BLACK!!!

      Aug 26, 2008 at 9:13 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.2   Canthz_B bang

      Hot, dark and sweet, but I like to put cream in mine. ;-)

      Aug 26, 2008 at 10:18 pm   rating: 15  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.3   Claire

      I like my coffee like I love my men…bitter and murky and hot!

      Aug 26, 2008 at 11:22 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.4   Canthz_B bang

      Bitter lovin’ is sweet! :twisted:

      Aug 26, 2008 at 11:36 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.5   Claire

      You betcha!

      Aug 26, 2008 at 11:39 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.6   jackie31337

      I like my coffee like I like my women… ground up in the refrigerator. (Blatantly stolen from that guy on slashdot)

      But seriously, I do like my coffee like I like my men: pale and sweet.

      Aug 27, 2008 at 3:12 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.7   GhostWriter bang

      I like my coffee like I like my women: two with one cup.

      Aug 27, 2008 at 9:26 am   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.8   Goldie

      Does this rule always apply? Because then it means I like my men weak, lukewarm and easily found in my office. Should I worry?

      Aug 27, 2008 at 12:02 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.9   jennipurrr bang

      Ew, Ghost – I was hoping I’d never have to think of that video again.

      *scrubs own brain with bleach*

      Aug 27, 2008 at 2:56 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #9   Canthz_B bang

    If we run out of creamer and sugar my hands are tied, I’m fitted with a ball gag and I’m whipped with a cat-o-nine tails by Juan Valdez!

    Aug 26, 2008 at 6:42 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #9.1   Wade bang

      The budget is a stern mistress.

      Aug 26, 2008 at 6:48 pm   rating: 12  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.2   Timo bang

      Those finance girls, plying their trade in red ink and leather. Spreadsheets take on a whole different meaning.

      “No Mistress I forgot to get a receipt.”

      Aug 26, 2008 at 7:23 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.3   Mishee bang

      Why do you think I made my career in Finance?

      :evil:

      Aug 26, 2008 at 7:25 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.4   RunBarbara bang

      three dollars in nickles stuffed into a g-string isnt a career.

      Aug 26, 2008 at 7:27 pm   rating: 20  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.5   Miss Unloop bang

      Sorry about the nickels, Mishee – I didn’t have time to stop at CoinStar.

      Aug 26, 2008 at 7:42 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.6   Mishee bang

      That’s fine… I’ve got the perfect place to stash a roll of nickels…

      Aug 26, 2008 at 7:45 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.7   Miss Unloop bang

      A stunt like that might earn you as much as a roll of quarters!

      Aug 26, 2008 at 7:49 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.8   Mishee bang

      That would get me even more excited!

      Aug 26, 2008 at 7:59 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.9   Timo bang

      The way she makes exact change is really amazing! There are girls in the PI that couldn’t do that!

      Aug 26, 2008 at 8:02 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.10   Miss Unloop bang

      I hear you can see her at the Turnpike Inn on Sundays from 12-9.

      Aug 26, 2008 at 8:11 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.11   Mishee bang

      That’s only when I do the show for CB…

      I am in other cities at other times!

      “Coming” soon to a stage near you!

      Aug 26, 2008 at 8:21 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.12   Canthz_B bang

      I always knew you were a $10 whore, Mishee! :-P

      Aug 26, 2008 at 10:21 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.13   morpho aurora bang

      mish – a roll of nickels? don’t be modest girl, you know four or five rolls will fit

      :P

      Aug 26, 2008 at 10:29 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.14   Claire

      And the mule! Don’t forget the mule! :)

      Aug 26, 2008 at 11:23 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.15   Miss Unloop bang

      Maybe Claw will let you borrow his python, Mishee…

      Aug 26, 2008 at 11:43 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.16   Holiday Djinn

      A roll of nickels? From what i have heard she could probably fit the entire Denver Mint’s output for a year in there!

      Aug 27, 2008 at 8:56 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.17   Mishee bang

      Actually Holiday, that’s my mother you are thinking of…

      One day I will have her talents! Practice Mishee! Practice!

      Aug 27, 2008 at 8:57 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.18   vitaminC

      or the Franklin Mint… commemorative plates SIDEWAYS, beyotch!

      Aug 27, 2008 at 4:39 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #10   Wade bang

    I wonder if Candy the Silly Slut is turning tricks there. It might explain the disappearance of the brown sugar.

    Aug 26, 2008 at 6:44 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

    • #10.1   Claire

      Working in the PR division of Starbucks was part of her court-ordered rehabilitation. Every evening, when she arrived back at the halfway house, Candy would share with the other residents all the fabulous creamers and sugars she had stolen from work earlier that day….

      Aug 26, 2008 at 11:25 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #11   Mishee bang

    What this company needs is to go public. That’s where the money and the spoiled employees go.

    Aug 26, 2008 at 6:45 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #11.1   RunBarbara bang

      whenever i go in public i always get hassled by a hostile bum or a cop.
      illegal, shmillegal. its MY pants.

      Aug 26, 2008 at 7:16 pm   rating: 10  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.2   Mishee bang

      well, RB, that would be a convincing defense…. if you actually had pants on

      Aug 26, 2008 at 7:18 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.3   Holiday Djinn

      I have always found that a nice short skirt with just hose and garters on underneath to be the perfect attire for this kind of “al fresco” rendezvous. Better access and all.

      The problem is as a guy i get way too much attention wearing a short skirt on with no panties.

      but hey, what’s a guy to do

      Aug 27, 2008 at 9:00 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #12   Canthz_B bang

    If I found this note in the workplace, I’d seriously worry about job security. If they can’t find six bucks in petty cash for CoffeeMate® and sugar this place must have a devil of a time paying the utility bills!

    Aug 26, 2008 at 6:47 pm   rating: 14  small thumbs up

    • #12.1   Goldie

      I thought the same thing – I’d start looking now before the company goes down under. Another thing that fascinates me about this place is employee morale – someone actually ratted their coworker(s) out to (HR?) for adding cream to their oatmeal. Can you imagine what they would do if they caught a coworker commenting on PAN?

      Aug 26, 2008 at 10:12 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #12.2   Canthz_B bang

      The company is moving to Australia? 8-O

      Aug 26, 2008 at 10:16 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #12.3   Goldie

      Well they heard the creamer is cheaper over there, so… yeah.

      Aug 26, 2008 at 10:36 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #12.4   Claire

      Teehee…try the Vegemite with that oatmeal….

      Aug 26, 2008 at 11:26 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #12.5   Secretly Passive Aggresive

      This recently happened at my company and I was the one asked to make the sign that went on our fridge. Eek!

      Aug 27, 2008 at 9:28 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #13   unholyghost2003 bang

    easy solution: switch to powdered creamer. No one will be mixing that nasty shit into their oatmeal.

    Aug 26, 2008 at 6:49 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

    • #13.1   Stitchin-Liz bang

      No one will use it in their coffee either!

      Aug 26, 2008 at 6:53 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #13.2   Mishee bang

      then problem solved. we will have an ABUNDANCE of creamer henceforth!

      Then about a month later there will be a note up:

      Please use the creamer we have supplied for you. Its throwing the budget and the cash forecasting totally off! We don’t want it to all go to waste now, do we?

      Fucking bi-polar dumbasses.

      Aug 26, 2008 at 6:54 pm   rating: 13  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #14   Wade bang

    Wait a minute!

    Based on the last sentence, shouldn’t the note be titled:

    ATTENTION ALL OATMEAL CREAMERS!

    Aug 26, 2008 at 6:53 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #14.1   Timo bang

      While oatmeal is warm creaming in it is just considered bad form.

      Aug 26, 2008 at 7:13 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #14.2   RunBarbara bang

      if my cream ever looked like oatmeal i would see a doctor….and a priest.

      Aug 26, 2008 at 7:15 pm   rating: 10  small thumbs up

       
    • #14.3   amy d bang

      Yuck! Who creamed in my oatmeal??!!

      Aug 26, 2008 at 7:35 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #14.4   Mishee bang

      Sorry… that was me…

      Just getting you back for that vomit soaked welcome mat….

      Bitch.

      Aug 26, 2008 at 7:36 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #14.5   amy d bang

      Thought I recognized this flavor. It’s kinda like armadillo soaked in vulture spit.

      Aug 26, 2008 at 7:44 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #14.6   Mishee bang

      Same as your vomit.

      Aug 26, 2008 at 7:46 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #14.7   amy d bang

      You ate my vomit? I love you, you sicko!

      Aug 26, 2008 at 7:57 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #14.8   Mishee bang

      There’s no better way to tell someone you care!

      I mean, diamonds are forever? Pshaw! Vomit eating… now that’s forever!

      Aug 26, 2008 at 8:00 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #14.9   Claire

      I once worked in an office in which if the boss ever made coffee, his coffee could easily induce vomiting…Too bad he did not have a welcome mat nearby…sigh…

      Aug 26, 2008 at 11:30 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #15   RunBarbara bang

    when i was in middle school my teachers use to make us play Oregon Trail. i never understood why i had to learn how to travel in a covered wagon across the early Americas but i played along, mostly because i couldnt wait to hunt. i didnt give a shit if Jebediah got cholera or if my oxen broke their yoke, i wanted to travel to the open lands where i could hunt for a few minutes. im sure other kids felt the same way. i never learned to ration our food, i just let everyone eat to their heart’s content and then i killed another bear. i didnt learn the value of portions or savoring, and as a result i bet the inside of that virtual wagon smelled like claw’s mom’s panties on a warm day.
    anyway, maybe if nikki’s coworkers had played a better game of Oregon Trail, they could better ration their cream. or they could kill a bear and put that in their oatmeal.

    Aug 26, 2008 at 7:05 pm   rating: 28  small thumbs up

    • #15.1   hamburke

      I loved Oregon Trail! Now that was a fun computer class!

      Aug 26, 2008 at 9:57 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #15.2   Claire

      Yes, Oregon Trail and by the same token, Amazon…something…it was fun to fish–what did these games teach us except that it is good to not have to live off the land!

      Aug 26, 2008 at 11:32 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #15.3   amazon bang

      Wait, what about my fish?

      Aug 27, 2008 at 2:31 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #15.4   Holiday Djinn

      They wouldn’t put bear in there oatmeal, however, i bet they would not drink the water and die of dysentery.

      Aug 27, 2008 at 9:04 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #15.5   claw71 bang

      We never played Oregon Trail when I was in school. Of course I was home schooled so I suppose mom deviated from the lesson plan a good bit. In fact, I’m pretty sure she did because the correct answer to every science question was because god wanted it that way. I excelled at science and entertained dreams of being a brilliant physicist like Stephen Hawking without ALS…but with the voice box because that’s cool. Much to my chagrin,however, the scientific foundation I built in my formative years was not sufficient for the collegiate world. Academic snobs.

      Of course that’s neither here nor there, we’re talking about social studies and the value of playing games like Oregon Trail, Nez Pierce Massacre and Let’s Lynch Tyrone . Except we never did. Instead my mom opted to have us play Donner Party. It sounds like fun because everybody loves a party and Donner is a famous reindeer. We were playing the game in winter so it all added up.

      Well math was involved but it wasn’t adding and Donner Party wasn’t fun at all. Mom and dad would lock us outside, and then they’d watch and wait…wait for one of us to start showing signs of succumbing to hypothermia. That’s when they’d start boiling water and set the table…with one less plate. After somebody slipped into a coma the game would end and we’d eat dinner. A horrible dinner but we were cold and hungry. I still remember the first time I ate one of my brothers–Baby Nathan, if memory serves.

      I still remember how much I hated my parents as I, sobbing, sank my teeth into his tender pink flesh.

      Aug 27, 2008 at 9:29 am   rating: 11  small thumbs up

       
    • #15.6   Holiday Djinn

      Man, that really takes me back!

      I haven’t played a rousing game of Nez Pierce Massacre in ages! Also, claw do you have a port of Let’s lynch Tyrone for the XBOX? I have been looking everywere for that game! ;-)

      Aug 27, 2008 at 12:22 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #15.7   katrina

      dayum claw…..reminds me of a short story ….going to have to look it up to tell ya about….sicko-only-child me thought it was hilarious mind you….

      Aug 27, 2008 at 3:37 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #15.8   Claire

      OMG, Claw! Did you grow up in East Texas? Wait…it never really gets cold there…never mind…However, be comforted…if some of George W’s staunch supporters have their way with the next president, your home school science education could indeed qualify for you for a career in physics…..

      Aug 28, 2008 at 6:38 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #15.9   RunBarbara bang

      claw isnt interested in physics. he likes teaching high school….which is where he met me.
      what was that, baby? my freshman year? god, its hard to believe you ever fit my entire body in the trunk of your datsun.

      Aug 28, 2008 at 6:54 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #16   Robbie

    Memo – Part Two

    It has been brought to my attention that people are using three squares of toilet paper. Please remember that is company policy that it’s two squares per visit.
    If this problem persists, employees will soon be required to acquire the two squares from me personally.

    Aug 26, 2008 at 7:15 pm   rating: 9  small thumbs up

    • #16.1   Mishee bang

      Robbie, the fact that you didn’t say to see Casey in HR for the square rations, and that you didn’t sign your comment THX SANDRA (or use ALL CAPS)… well… I love ya just a little bit for that!

      Thank you!

      *stifled sob*

      Aug 26, 2008 at 7:20 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #16.2   Claire

      Hmmm…hope you washed your hands afterwards…..

      Aug 26, 2008 at 11:33 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #16.3   chick bang

      don’t come to me for extra toilet paper. i don’t have a square to spare. i can’t spare a square!

      Aug 27, 2008 at 4:23 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #16.4   Secretly Passive Aggresive

      Don’t ever call me again.
      That goes for you too Kramer.

      Aug 27, 2008 at 9:37 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #17   ssb

    that powder creamer stuff is disgusting – nobody should be using it.

    Aug 26, 2008 at 7:23 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #17.1   unholyghost2003 bang

      That is what I like to call ‘Not My Problem’ I drink my coffee with a splash of skim milk.

      Aug 26, 2008 at 7:27 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #17.2   Mishee bang

      That’s because you are a skinny, beautiful, spoiled rich girl.

      Us fat lower middle class bitches love CREAMER AND SUGAR!

      Aug 26, 2008 at 7:29 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #17.3   Miss Unloop bang

      I like to bypass the creamer altogether and just put lard in it. There’s nothing we southern girls won’t do with lard! ;)

      Aug 26, 2008 at 9:19 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
    • #17.4   Claire

      Truthfully, I rather like the way the Irish fix their coffee…if more people drank Irish coffee at work, there would be fewer PAN missives for the masses to comment upon…of course, then we probably wouldn’t get any real work done after 1:30 PM either….

      Aug 26, 2008 at 11:36 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #17.5   chick bang

      The only thing I ever put in my coffee is Bailey’s, and I’ve been known to do that at 7 a.m. I think it makes the work day go better.

      Aug 27, 2008 at 4:25 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #18   Miss Unloop bang

    Isn’t non-dairy creamer a mild explosive?

    Aug 26, 2008 at 7:37 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #18.1   unholyghost2003 bang

      only after it is consumed.

      Aug 26, 2008 at 7:40 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #18.2   RunBarbara bang

      actually, i think phosphoric acid is a mild explosive. thats found in coffee mate, creamora, etc.

      Aug 26, 2008 at 7:42 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #18.3   Miss Unloop bang

      Better give Milton his stapler back, then…

      Aug 26, 2008 at 7:44 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #18.4   Mishee bang

      Yeah, you sure don’t want him to burn the place down if there are explosives in the building!

      Aug 26, 2008 at 7:46 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #18.5   RandyinReno

      Christ! Now Homeland Security is involved…

      Aug 26, 2008 at 8:27 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #18.6   Mishee bang

      Randy, when giving your statement, don’t forget to direct them to the deeply carved writings that were found on the table in the breakroom. I think it may be a clue…

      But if the authorities are coming, I have to run to my car and then to the bathroom… don’t mind if you hear a lot of flushing, I’ve got explosive diarrhea… yeah… that’s it…

      Aug 26, 2008 at 8:30 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #18.7   nestchick

      Coffeemate powdered non-dairy creamer is alleged to burn. When we tried it we used-gasp- generic powdered non-dairy creamer. It caused a foul smell and we didn’t get any special flames. (We poured in onto BBQ coals.)

      Aug 26, 2008 at 8:41 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #18.8   hamburke

      I just looked it up and I don’t see where it has phosphoric acid (it has dipotassium phosphate). I guess it could break down into phosphoric acid with some heat but what really gets me is that it claims to be non-dairy but then has the casein – the part of milk that people can be allergic to – in it. It would work for those people who are lactose intolerant but if you are actually allergic to dairy, not so much.

      Aug 26, 2008 at 10:10 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #18.9   Numinous bang

      Actually, any finely powdered substance can ignite. It just has to be disbursed into the air. It used to be a big problem in places like flour factories. I don’t know if it still is.

      Aug 27, 2008 at 3:41 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #19   amy d bang

    The creamer/sugar must be monitored

    The sultry packet of Imperial Sugar sashayed her way across the counter, causing the naive Nestle’s packet to cream himself.

    Aug 26, 2008 at 7:43 pm   rating: 15  small thumbs up

     
  • #20   jessie

    If you drink your oatmeal then can you use creamer for it?

    Aug 26, 2008 at 7:43 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #21   Miss Unloop bang

    9:25 am – I shuffle into the kitchen for my first cuppa joe for the day. Nothing gets me going (if you know what I mean) like a nice, hot cup of blonde coffee. Then it’s off to the john for 10 minutes worth of… quality time to myself. Might even make a phone call or two while I’m in there.

    9:26 am – After pouring a styrofoam cupful of java, I reach for my beloved Royal Cup non-dairy creamer (I’m watching my figure – hey, somebody’s got to!). What issues from the spout is pathetic – I’ve seen more white flaky bits on the shoulders of my boss’s suit jacket. I search under the sink for a fresh container, but instead am greeted by nothing more than an unopened box of decaf and a smattering of regular packets. My mind is racing – how can we run out of creamer even before we run out of coffee? I decide to mount my own investigation.

    9:45 am – From my hiding place beside the drink machine, I see Deborah walk up to the counter, brown packet in hand. She empties the contents into a plastic bowl, the cleanliness of which is highly questionable. After giving the room a quick once-over, I observe her pulling out a container of non-dairy creamer, which had been cleverly concealed inside her unitard. I watch her pour, and pour, and POUR. She returns the creamer to its hiding place, relaxes, and tops off the mixture with some hot water from the brewer. A stir and a flourish later, she returns to her desk, apparently completely satisfied for the moment. Damn her.

    Aug 26, 2008 at 8:09 pm   rating: 19  small thumbs up

    • #21.1   RandyinReno

      And of course her oatmeal was fucking delicious, she was wearing the unitard.

      Aug 26, 2008 at 8:30 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #21.2   Mishee bang

      Randy, I am gonna let you off this time.. I don’t know why… but just remember you escaped by the hair on your chinny-chin-chin…

      Don’t let it happen again… I’m watching you, Mister!!

      Aug 26, 2008 at 8:32 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #21.3   RandyinReno

      I’m sure that it was only a technicality that allowed me to escape punishment. I am duly chastened, mistress.

      Aug 26, 2008 at 8:47 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #22   se

    Is this the same office where the fax machine walks around? maybe they’re snorting the “creamer”.

    Aug 26, 2008 at 8:09 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #22.1   Miss Unloop bang

      The two notes do share a certain “artistic flair”.

      Aug 26, 2008 at 8:24 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #23   Mishee bang

    Truthfully I just kinda feel sorry for Nikki…

    I mean… she lives in Fresno

    Blech!

    Aug 26, 2008 at 8:26 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #23.1   (the real) Nikki

      Luckily, I just commute to Fresno. I don’t actually have to live there with the oatmeal consuming public. If I did, I might have to snort the powdered creamer I liberated from the thieving fax machine on Casey in HR’s desk.

      Damn it, I got some on my unitard!

      Aug 26, 2008 at 9:37 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #23.2   Mishee bang

      Well, knowing what cities surround Fresno, I feel even more sorry for you if you live in any of them…

      I mean, where do you come from, Chowchilla?? Or the bathroom of California; Los Banos?? Or Merced…? If so, say hi to my sister for me, will ya?

      I hope you have had a wonderful summer so far! (as if!)

      Aug 27, 2008 at 12:31 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #23.3   Canthz_B bang

      Are you talking armpits, Mishee?
      I don’t know Cali…

      Aug 27, 2008 at 12:42 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #24   RandyinReno

    Wait, I used to live in Fresno… I’ve already been punished.

    Aug 26, 2008 at 8:50 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #25   Miss Unloop bang

    It’s not so much the oatmeal creamers that concern me; it’s the spinach creamers that I’m worried about.

    Aug 26, 2008 at 9:01 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #25.1   RandyinReno

      And if I’ve creamed my jeans???

      Aug 26, 2008 at 9:20 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #25.2   Miss Unloop bang

      Creamed weenies are even worse.

      Aug 26, 2008 at 9:30 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #26   Miss Unloop bang

    I definitely give this note a thumbs-up for the clip art – I can’t help but get excited every time I see that dirty, slutty, spread-tailed Starbucks siren!

    Aug 26, 2008 at 9:22 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #26.1   amazon bang

      Dont’t forget, she’s topless as well!

      Aug 27, 2008 at 2:36 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #26.2   Miss Unloop bang

      How can I forget? ;)

      Aug 27, 2008 at 11:31 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #27   raiseyourglass

    Respect thats all we all want. no creamer for you

    Aug 26, 2008 at 11:06 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #27.1   RandyinReno

      And now the creamer nazis weigh in.

      Aug 26, 2008 at 11:32 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #28   Marie

    Has it occurred to anyone that the reason the creamer and sugar are disappearing is because people are stealing it????

    Duh.

    Aug 26, 2008 at 11:11 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #28.1   Claire

      Or maybe that if you leave complimentary condiments out on the counter, employees and others are going to use them?

      Aug 26, 2008 at 11:15 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #28.2   se

      please feel free to use the complementary condoms.

      Aug 26, 2008 at 11:50 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #28.3   Holiday Djinn

      That would give having a quicky cigarette break a whole new meaning!

      Aug 27, 2008 at 9:09 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #29   Canthz_B bang

    Break room is out of creamer again.
    I don’t think that I can take it,
    I tried black, but I can’t fake it,
    So I’ll never have my Nescafé again!

    Aug 27, 2008 at 12:47 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #29.1   chick bang

      Who actually drinks Nescafe? I’m convinced that stuff is part of some evil plan to take over the world…it’s so disgusting, and yet people have been brainwashed to think it’s coffee and drink it.

      Aug 27, 2008 at 4:32 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #29.2   Canthz_B bang

      Hey, chick, lighten up! I just needed three damned syllables to fit a rhyme scheme. It’s not a fucking product endorsement! :mrgreen:

      Aug 27, 2008 at 5:33 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #29.3   Canthz_B bang

      Besides, no one drinks Nescafe, but some enjoy Nescafé! ;-)

      Aug 27, 2008 at 5:43 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #29.4   chick bang

      Sorry, CB. I think I’m dealing with some suppressed rage towards Nescafe. I have been living in a place where it’s very popular and often the only option. The very mention of it churns up anger from deep inside me…

      Aug 27, 2008 at 11:13 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #29.5   Goldie

      Nescafe totally does NOT work. The only time I had it instead of my usual coffee, it didn’t wake me up at all and I ended up dropping my work notebook in the toilet in my sleepy daze. Two months’ worth of valuable work notes, down the drain, literally. Damn you, Nescafe.

      Aug 27, 2008 at 11:53 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #30   ADayInTheLife

    A day in the life of an ADD attention whore:

    6:15 PM – return from day of sitting in the welfare line waiting for money

    6:27, 6:39, 6:42, 6:47 PM – post multiple times on PA notes to hear the sound of own voice and thrill the 5 or 6 little girls who have nothing better to do

    6:50 PM pass out from beer and crack

    10:15 PM wake up suddenly from stupor

    10:16, 10:18, 10:21 PM – post random stream-of-consciousness thoughts as they occur – none of which are interesting or funny

    11:36 PM – peel face from keyboard after relapse to post on final note – fall down drunk in main hallway until 3 AM then arise and post some complete gibberish until meds FINALLY kick in.

    Every single fucking night. How long can you keep this up? Yes, you know who you are. Sadly, so does everyone else. Even MORE sadly – half of them seem to think this is acceptable behaviour.

    Let me tell you: it’s not. That is all.

    Ed. Note: tonight there was a sudden burst of energy at 12:47. Just a minor blip and will be corrected, I feel. Hardly even worth noting, but still…

    Aug 27, 2008 at 12:47 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #30.1   Canthz_B bang

      Even sadder is that you bother to so diligently monitor the behavior of others.
      Sho nuff must be luv! :-P

      Aug 27, 2008 at 12:59 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #30.2   mack

      was any on that even worth noting?
      you just feel jilted because someone wasn’t around for about three hours.

      Aug 27, 2008 at 1:05 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #30.3   mack

      maybe she was out getting laid by your boyfriend. or should i say former boyfriend because you also seem to be frigid!

      Aug 27, 2008 at 1:07 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #30.4   ellemarie bang

      So about this person who keeps posting for the sole purpose of pointing out your flaws CB… Sounds an awful lot like a wife.

      Aug 27, 2008 at 1:10 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #30.5   Canthz_B bang

      She’s violating a restraining order! LOL

      Aug 27, 2008 at 1:11 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #30.6   Canthz_B bang

      11:36 PM – peel face from keyboard after relapse to post on final note – fall down drunk in main hallway until 3 AM then arise and post some complete gibberish until meds FINALLY kick in.“?

      I think that was supposed to be “…one final note…”.

      It would be nice if you could be flawless the next time you post to criticize me.

      I have standards my critics must meet. ;-)

      Aug 27, 2008 at 1:46 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #30.7   amy d bang

      Hey, didn’t we just have a big discussion on tolerance a few notes ago? Apparently, even PAN after school specials are ineffective.

      *sigh*

      Aug 27, 2008 at 7:38 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #30.8   Phalange

      Does anyone really post on here to “hear their own voice”? Is this some feature of the Internet I forgot to turn on?

      I mean, I do hear voices, just usually not my own.

      Aug 27, 2008 at 8:02 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #30.9   Mishee bang

      Hey, I have ADHD, Thank you very much.

      God, can’t you get anything right!?

      Aug 27, 2008 at 8:33 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #30.10   anglophile bang

      Nothing thrills me more than reading the posts of someone who has nothing better to do than fret and stew over what and when someone else posts. But it’s been a long time since anyone described me as a little girl.

      Aug 27, 2008 at 8:37 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #30.11   aaa

      I thought that people posted on the internet to make everyone else hear their voice. You know, the whole attention whore thing.

      I get enough of my voice in meatspace, thank you. I just can’t shut up. Ever. It gets quite tiresome to be constantly assaulted by my own thoughts and opinions. Maybe I should make some friends and be constantly assaulted by their thoughts and opinions. :c

      Aug 27, 2008 at 8:43 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #30.12   se

      perspiring minds want to know more about these 5 or 6 little girls

      Aug 27, 2008 at 9:43 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #30.13   aaa

      Perspiring minds better not ask too much about these five or six little girls or they’ll end up on To Catch A Predator.

      Aug 27, 2008 at 9:50 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #31   ellemarie bang

    mm, pointless post.

    Aug 27, 2008 at 1:06 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #31.1   Canthz_B bang

      Pointless response! LOL

      Aug 27, 2008 at 1:10 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #32   beesnest

    That note would make me angry enough to use even MORE creamer. And I’d keep my own sugar at my desk, thank-you-very-much, and make sure the boss noticed how I was a team player while I secretly suck the creamer dry.

    Aug 27, 2008 at 2:56 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #33   ellemarie bang

    “CREAMER IS NOT FOR THIS PURPOSE.”

    Yeah, well, apparently neither is the backyard, but ya can’t have such high expectations during gay mardi gras…

    Aug 27, 2008 at 3:19 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #34   Canthz_B bang

    It must be Hell working under someone who aspires to become the manager of a Starbucks Coffee franchise.

    Aug 27, 2008 at 5:54 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #34.1   aaa

      Although Mr/Ms Starbucks manager wannabe doesn’t seem to know that real Starbucks employees strongly discourage the use of creamers, considering them “unnatural,” “eco-unfriendly,” and “lowbrow.” If she really wanted to complete the illusion, she’d be shoving milk and *gasp* cream down the throats of any of those powder-loving oatmeal-creaming freaks, maybe with some stirring speech about the human family and our global home.

      Aug 27, 2008 at 8:36 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #35   claw71 bang

    You know, I’m not what you might call a “smart” “guy” but I do have moments of brilliance. A few years ago, when I saw my first Starbucks kiosk inside of my favorite Starbucks coffee shop, I realized that the company was on a hot streak so I invested my savings into it and decided to let it ride.

    As you can imagine, Starbucks recent struggles have devestated my portfolio. I had to sell my daughter’s braces for scrap and I’m leasing my wife out to over-the-road truckers to make ends meet. Why? How could a company with such a bullet proof business plan fall on hard times?

    Then I see this misapropriation of a trademarked logo. I thought it was a corporate memo from Starbucks…and I even read the preface! (Like I said, I’m not what you ‘d call a smart guy) Surely this leaked out to shareholders a few months ago and caused panic. I could hear Jim Cramer now: SELL! SELL! SELL! THESE CLOWNS CAN’T EVEN LEVERAGE CREAMER! SELL! I say I could hear him, but I can’t because I had to sell my eardrums on the black market.

    I’m sure the note writer didn’t intend to ruin my life but that’s little consolation to my 13 year-old son who is at the Sheraton “entertaining” some Japanese business men right now. Thanks.

    Aug 27, 2008 at 8:41 am   rating: 9  small thumbs up

     
  • #36   Goldie

    Great idea, Claw. My 13yo is looking for a job right now. He tried to apply at Starbucks but apparently he’s too young to work there. I’ll tell him to check the local Sheraton. Thanks for the lead!

    Aug 27, 2008 at 9:26 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #36.1   Mishee bang

      Goldie, WTF? I see you nested a comment earlier in this thread…. I thought you knew better than that!

      Aug 27, 2008 at 9:28 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #36.2   claw71 bang

      Just make sure he eats lots of fiber and doesn’t suffer from stage fright when he’s pooping.

      Aug 27, 2008 at 9:34 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #36.3   claw71 bang

      Bend over, Mishee, I’ve got a comment I’m going nest for you.

      Aug 27, 2008 at 9:38 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #36.4   Goldie

      Sorry Mishee, my nesting instinct has been sporadic lately, it seems to turn on and off.

      Aug 27, 2008 at 9:52 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #37   Targetted Individual v2s

    I drink coffee out of my Mother’s vagina.
    Her corpse is upside down, fresh coffee poured in daily – how it is kept warm is a mystery.

    Aug 27, 2008 at 10:09 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #37.1   Goldie

      Wow, the Internet is a scary place.
      Please seek help, my targeted friend.

      Aug 27, 2008 at 11:57 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #37.2   aaa

      Not “targeted,” “targetted.” Maybe that’s why he has a Norman Bates coffee mug…

      Aug 27, 2008 at 12:39 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #38   thirty six red

    Can’t beat breast milk. DE-LISH!

    Aug 27, 2008 at 10:17 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #38.1   Holiday Djinn

      Especially freshly squeezed!

      Seriously though, we have all been there. You’ve just fixed your morning coffee. Then bam, open the fridge and you find that you are out of half&half. Look down at the bottom shelf, and damn it no 2% either. Then your wife walks in and boom problem solved!

      Aug 27, 2008 at 12:30 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #38.2   Goldie

      What if you don’t have a wife? Close your eyes, relax, think of Angelina Jolie and boom, problem solved?

      Aug 27, 2008 at 12:32 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #38.3   aaa

      You could always go to a dog breeder. I’m sure they would have at least one lactating bitch on hand. I suppose you could just break in with a thermos and milk it when nobody was looking.

      Aug 27, 2008 at 2:42 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #39   Holiday Djinn

    Creamer? Heck, I barely knew her. . . .

    Aug 27, 2008 at 12:25 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #39.1   shane

      BWAHAHAHA!! reminds me of a sign I saw at a bar:

      Liquor in the front, poker in the rear. :-D

      Aug 27, 2008 at 3:22 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #40   Laura

    This reminds me of when my junior high put the kibosh on ketchup abuse had a cafeteria lady stand at the condiment table to enforce the new one-pump policy. We were outraged.

    And that was a public school.

    Aug 27, 2008 at 12:53 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #40.1   reyna ulikba bang

      pump it baby! pump some more!

      Aug 28, 2008 at 11:09 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #41   Lurker

    Vive la deference!

    Aug 27, 2008 at 2:41 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #42   jennipurrr bang

    I keep waiting for a PAN to be directed at me in my workplace. I do use creamer in my oatmeal (wtf is the problem with that anyway?), but that is not the infraction I expect to be lambasted over.

    I soak my bowl to get the gunk off and half the time when I go a few hours later to put it in the dishwasher, it’s already been taken care of (please note we have no dish cloths or scrubbers in our kitchen; an odd oversight or perhaps there was an incident in the past).

    I’m almost tempted to post a note that says, ‘let sleeping bowls lie.’ Would that be PA or just helpful? ;)

    Aug 27, 2008 at 3:24 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #42.1   Lurker

      I think the issue is that they’re running out of creamer before the new shipment comes in, and people using it for things other than coffee makes them run out faster.

      Aug 28, 2008 at 2:45 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #43   glastonberry

    Nothing like Zapf Chancery (italic, no less) to get your point across. Unfortunately the point you get across is that you’re a pretentious dweeb with a really old mac.

    Aug 27, 2008 at 6:06 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #44   The Nerd

    Yeah, it’s aggressive (and annoying), but it’s not passive. I think we should keep active-aggressive notes on their own blog.

    Aug 28, 2008 at 10:37 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #45   Community Guy, Jake McKee - Focusing on the wrong things.

    [...] never ceases to amaze me how much time is wasted on pointless, silly issues in offices. Imagine if the same time used to develop this sign was put into figuring out how to increase [...]

    Sep 11, 2008 at 9:06 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #46   Devlin85

    What a bitch.. And if the company has rapid growth, of course there will be more expenses, this person sounds pretty stupid.

    Sep 22, 2008 at 5:36 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     

Comments are Closed