three u.s. cities where nature-lovers might want to keep their hands to themselves:
1. austin, texas
2. macon, georgia
3. pittsburgh, pennsylvania
(thanks to don in austin, elizabeth in macon, and jasmine in pittsburgh for risking the wrath of some devoted gardening/second amendment enthusiasts to document these warnings.)
related: no “questions” asked









161 responses so far ↓
#1
Goldie

The deflorators in the third note are probably rabbits and deer. Hate to break it to the note author, but they can’t read.
To the first two - I heard it is more fun when you share your plants, y’know, form a circle, pass them around.
Aug 27, 2008 at 5:20 pm rating: +24 
#2
Timo

Mayor Adam West is on the scene! They had better watch out he will make them pay.
*Boff!* *KaPoow!* *Ooooof!*
Aug 27, 2008 at 5:23 pm rating: +11 
#3
Wade

Maybe Candy likes watermelon with her brown sugar.
Aug 27, 2008 at 5:24 pm rating: +6 
#4
Jeannette E. Spaghetti

Ha Ha. Fucktard.
Aug 27, 2008 at 5:25 pm rating: +3 
#5
Wade

I hope the plants mentioned in note two are practicing prudent pollination.
Aug 27, 2008 at 5:27 pm rating: +6 
#6
RunBarbara

stealing watermelon?
high on crack?
what a racist. i know what they are implying.
Aug 27, 2008 at 5:28 pm rating: +69 
#7
Timo

I bet those fucktards stole the watermelon and then rang the buzzer waking up their precious Wunderkind!
Aug 27, 2008 at 5:28 pm rating: +2 
#8
Canthz_B

I’ve always thought of gardeners as such peaceful people. This willingness to take up arms comes as a shock.
Aug 27, 2008 at 5:32 pm rating: +7 
#9
toddspal

Watermelons: Serious Business
Who is the person on this earth who would SHOOT ANOTHER HUMAN BEING for the want of a watermelon?
Aug 27, 2008 at 5:33 pm rating: +7 
#10
0falcon8

To the Ass-Hat who keeps stealing my pot plants:
Dude…., not cool
Aug 27, 2008 at 5:34 pm rating: +24 
#11
RunBarbara

i dont grow watermelons, but i do have some nice half-dead succulents in rotting pots on my door step. i wouldnt hesitate to shoot someone in the face with a cross bow for touching them. you have to make a stand. today its a plant, tomorrow its your mail then its your cat.
Aug 27, 2008 at 5:35 pm rating: +33 
#12
amy d

I’m confused. What does having a .38 Special hit on a 45 have to do with anything?
Aug 27, 2008 at 5:38 pm rating: +6 
#13
Mishee

See, these notes are the reason I keep all my plants in the closet with grow lights. Yea, my neighbors get a $300 electric bill each month, but the high schoolers love my plants and I make quite a living off of it…
Aug 27, 2008 at 5:40 pm rating: +21 
#14
0falcon8

what the fuck is a water mellan?
Aug 27, 2008 at 5:42 pm rating: +3 
#15
mjb

The writer in the second note has it right. What good are the cops, mayor, and neighbors regarding stolen plants? A gun will do just nicely.
Aug 27, 2008 at 5:44 pm rating: +2 
#16
HS

So you notified the mayor, did ya? Good for you. I’ll go alert the media. I’m sure there’s a reporter hungry for this kind of story.
Aug 27, 2008 at 6:09 pm rating: +9 
#17
katrina

that watermelon was fucking delicious….
Aug 27, 2008 at 6:12 pm rating: +6