Says our anonymous Facebook user in Ottawa: “It’s exactly what it looks like.”
related: In daylights? In sunsets? In midnights? In posts on Facebook?
Please pick up your dirty laundry ASAP
August 28th, 2008 · 127 comments
FILED UNDER: ex drama · Facebook · Ottawa
127 responses so far ↓
#1
loislane24
damn… that sucks. If it were me, his stuff would be dumped all over the street, not packed up in the garage
Aug 28, 2008 at 7:22 pm rating: 11
#2
amy d
I wonder if he/she is sick of the lying and cheating?
Aug 28, 2008 at 7:26 pm rating: 22
#3
gambrinus
So did they actually break up with someone over Facebook, or did they just want to broadcast his/her dumped status to all their friends?
Aug 28, 2008 at 7:30 pm rating: 1
#4
0falcon8
*****is Your stuff has accidentally spilled out of the garage, doused itself with lighter fluid and commited suicide via self immolation because you did not pick it up ASAP…sick of the lying and cheating…. 8:31pm
Aug 28, 2008 at 7:30 pm rating: 97
#5
Canthz_B
My stuff can sit forever. I’d rush to the rescue if it were forced to stand in the garage.
Aug 28, 2008 at 7:32 pm rating: 2
#6
secondsout
So is my stuff sick of the lying and cheating, or just the facebook addict?
Aug 28, 2008 at 7:34 pm rating: 5
#7
0falcon8
Facebook: the new Jerry Springer
Aug 28, 2008 at 7:35 pm rating: 33
#8
Canthz_B
If my stuff has been packed and is sitting in the garage I’m not the one who has been cheating!
Aug 28, 2008 at 7:35 pm rating: 0
#9
secondsout
First it was Friendster, then that became passe. Then it was MySpace, which became the cool spot. Now it’s passe. Facebook is the spot for now, but for how long? Nostrasecondsoutus predicts that facebook will be passe in a year, and a new form of social networking / stalking / target for child predators / PAN goldmine will be in favor.
Aug 28, 2008 at 7:37 pm rating: 18
#10
JoelWhy
I’m betting they get back together to give it one more go at things…
Aug 28, 2008 at 7:40 pm rating: 3
#11
smalvarado
I’m sick of lying down eating cheetos.
Aug 28, 2008 at 7:46 pm rating: 9
#12
secondsout
Skip ahead a couple weeks and the updates read:
***** is missing getting laid.
***** is researching local escort services.
***** is still feeling sorry for himself.
***** is sick of the lying and cheating.
Aug 28, 2008 at 7:51 pm rating: 18
#13
Josh
Ungrammatical Facebook statuses drive me crazy.
Aug 28, 2008 at 7:53 pm rating: 9
#14
RunBarbara
This is why when I break up with someone, I write “Impotent” on their front lawn in lighter fluid. One match later, Im pretty sure they get the message. When they dont have a lawn, I just do it to their car.
Aug 28, 2008 at 7:54 pm rating: 26
#15
T
Seriously why isn’t that shit burning in the yard rather than standing in the garage?
Aug 28, 2008 at 8:01 pm rating: 4
#16
Claire
If your ex has kept your shit in the garage instead of flushing it, perhaps he/she needs to be featured on an episode of “Dr. Phil”.
Aug 28, 2008 at 8:24 pm rating: 2
#17
marlo
It’s like hitting rewind on the sad little narrative of his love life.
Aug 28, 2008 at 8:29 pm rating: 1
#18
morpho aurora
i’m sick of all the lying and cheating too. maybe i should see a therapist. or at least quit hanging out with rb’s mom.
Aug 28, 2008 at 8:44 pm rating: 8
#19
HS
Should read:
____ is your stuff packed and sitting in the garage?
I think it’s a question.
He said he packed it and then didn’t know where he put it??
I’m confused.
Aug 28, 2008 at 9:06 pm rating: 2
#20
Xtroll
Now who did all the shit packing? Was it homo or hetro shit packing and why are they lying about it?
Also speaking of Dirty Laundry and packing shit, where’s the bubble-headed bleach blond so I can pack her shit.
Aug 28, 2008 at 9:19 pm rating: 1
#21
aaa
Now, if this person wanted to be really PA, they would’ve posted a tear-filled, btichy rant on LiveJournal (complete with appropriate user picture, song, and mood to go with the post), put this shit up on Twitter, have photos of themselves looking all distraught all over Myspace, and maybe a video of them packing up their crap (and maybe torching it or cutting it up) on Youtube in addition to this stuff on Facebook.
BTW, does anyone even use LiveJournal anymore? I mean, it seems like everyone did in high school, but that was a while ago, before the widespread popularity of Blogger and Facebook.
Aug 28, 2008 at 9:34 pm rating: 1
#22
Lurker
***is sick of the lying and cheating
***is happy being single
***is secure in his own solitude
***is now willing to overlook the lying and cheating
Aug 28, 2008 at 9:41 pm rating: 7
#23
Canthz_B
I’d think the least of my worries would be someone cheating on me if they had already doused me with lye.
Aug 28, 2008 at 9:46 pm rating: 3
#24
Claire
There was a news story the other day about how employers now also check out potential employees’ MySpace and Facebook sites out when considering hiring them. Amazing what some people will put on their profile pages. Guess I’d better remove the photo of me in my leather outfit on MySpace profile…unless of course, my potential boss is into bondage….
Aug 28, 2008 at 11:09 pm rating: 1
#25
Mishee
I wonder if they don’t pick up their stuff ASAP if that would be considered tantamount to storage.
Aug 28, 2008 at 11:18 pm rating: 0
#26
Claire
If their stuff is lying and cheating, maybe they do not want it either….
Aug 28, 2008 at 11:27 pm rating: 0
#27
Canthz_B
That first four hours sounds so much like: “I’m packing your shit (call me).” “Your shit is packed (call me)!”
Followed 3 1/2 hours later by: “Fine! Fuck you! Come and get your shit outta my garage!”
Aug 29, 2008 at 4:12 am rating: 8
#28
claw71
This is pretty weak, but Lorena Bobbit probably did set the bar a little too high.
Aug 29, 2008 at 5:44 am rating: 6
#29
Red Letterboxer
“____ edited Looking For in his Profile.”
I guess this means Facebook records show the writer’s gender as male. I try to avoid stereotypes and generalizations, but I wouldn’t have expected this much drama from a guy…
…unless the lying cheater is also a guy, in which case I’ve just made another stereotypical generalization. But it does make the story a bit more fun and easier to imagine.
Aug 29, 2008 at 9:00 am rating: 4
#30
thirty six red
mmm…I’m thinkin’ garage sex- think of all the options; get out the jumper cables and vise grips I’m gonna teach you the meaning of respect. Be- atch
Aug 29, 2008 at 9:23 am rating: 2
#31
unholyghost2003
If you are Facebooking your break-up you are too young to be living with someone.
*Sigh* I wish I could log-in on my OTHER favorite site, but it isn’t working
Aug 29, 2008 at 9:48 am rating: 3
#32
GhostWriter
…keeping with the “Dirty Laundry” theme…
I hate the lying and the cheating too
Must be a sucker, a sucker for abuse
Packing up your stuff for you,
Get your dirty laundry!
Well, we coulda stayed connected, but you always cheat
I just packed your stuff up, I didn’t try to be neat
Come an’ get it, ASAP
Get your dirty laundry!
Sick of all the lies
Sick of all the fraud
Sick of all the lies
Sick of all the fraud
Sick of all the lies
Sick of all the fraud
Sick of all the lies
Sicker all around
You met that bubble-headed-bleach-blonde
who got off on at five-
Does she know about your anger? …or the pain of your lies?
How interesting- she’s not too bright,
Get your dirty laundry!
Come and get your gun collection-
and your red Corvette
You know, there’s oil on your suits now, I jammed ‘em under it.
Get your metric socket set,
and your dirty laundry!
I don’t really need to find out what’s going on
I don’t really want to know just how far its gone
Just leave Wellington alone!*
Get your dirty laundry!
(* note: “Wellington” is the Yorkie)
Sick of all the lies
Sick of all the fraud
Sick of all the lies
Sick of all the fraud
Sick of all the lies
Sick of all the fraud
Sick of all the lies
Sicker all around
.
.
.
Aug 29, 2008 at 10:12 am rating: 2
#33
Journal of Social awkwardness
drama-rama!
Worst part: how do the people who see this facebook update act towards the person who wrote the status? Awkward public aggression!
Aug 29, 2008 at 11:36 am rating: 2
#34
Mishee
I wonder if this is the same guy who did some mean things to his girlfriend via a Cinnamon Challenge…
Aug 29, 2008 at 11:44 am rating: 0
#35
ellemarie
20 bucks says his ex isn’t even on facebook– he just wanted everyone else to know.
Aug 29, 2008 at 3:01 pm rating: 4
#36
Ourhero
My lying and cheating NEVER earned me a storage spot (with FREE packing!!)
I must be doing it wrong.
Aug 29, 2008 at 10:25 pm rating: 4
#37
bikerbabeee
This is why I have avoided most of these type of social sites. except this one of course!
Aug 30, 2008 at 1:23 pm rating: 0
#38 reason #784 why you should never list your relationship status in your facebook profile
[...] related: please pick up your dirty laundry asap [...]
Dec 4, 2008 at 11:02 pm rating: 0
#39
thegoddessmelissa
how to NOT be passive-aggressive? i piled his crap up in a heap in the middle of the street at 2am and set it on fire…. and he cleaned it up.
Dec 10, 2008 at 1:33 pm rating: 0
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