Coming soon: the all-you-can-spell buffet

August 31st, 2008 · 80 comments

Jesse says he spotted this sign at a great Mongolian restaurant in the Dallas area. “They recently changed their name from Ton’s Mongolian Grill to Tao’s garden, but apparently they haven’t figured out how to spell it yet.”

Tao''s Gadren [sic] offers all you can buffet not all you can waste. Thank you!

related: Best. Potluck. Theme. Ever.

FILED UNDER: "customer service" · CAPS LOCK · Dallas/Fort Worth · food · restaurant · spelling and grammar police


80 responses so far ↓

  • #1   SF Iris

    They should get a Facebook page and then they could put how they really feel on the feed:

    Tao’s Garden is tired of people leaving their leftovers on the table.
    Tao’s Garden has your leftovers packed and sitting in the garage!

    Aug 31, 2008 at 5:44 pm   rating: 30  small thumbs up

     
  • #2   Canthz_B bang

    I wonder if “Tao’s Gadren” has the half baked chicken I see advertised so often at Asian restaurants…it’s so rare that someone wants their chicken rare.

    Aug 31, 2008 at 5:53 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

    • #2.1   JuanRojas

      Or stoned.

      Aug 31, 2008 at 6:52 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #3   Canthz_B bang

    I like the quotation mark as opposed to an apostrophe.
    That’s a hand-written typo only a Zen Master could make! :-)

    Aug 31, 2008 at 5:55 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

    • #3.1   Timo bang

      A Koan;
      Quoted Tao’s S.
      What is wasted in the Gadren?

      That which retreats from us we pursue.

      Aug 31, 2008 at 5:59 pm   rating: 14  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.2   secondsout bang

      What is the sound of one hand misspelling?

      Aug 31, 2008 at 6:02 pm   rating: 34  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.3   Canthz_B bang

      Evidence that one who transcends can access the shift key of the mind.

      Aug 31, 2008 at 7:11 pm   rating: 19  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.4   anna

      That appears to be a handwriting-esque font, not handwriting. Which makes the quotostrophe mistake a little bit more forgiveable…

      Sep 1, 2008 at 12:22 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.5   0falcon8 bang

      Confucius say: Man who eats as much as he is able is full of Waste

      Sep 1, 2008 at 11:06 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.6   katrina

      confucius also say : man who walk sideways through airport turnstile-Bankok

      Sep 1, 2008 at 11:11 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.7   Mishee bang

      I always liked, Confucius say: “Baseball lies. Man with four balls cannot walk”

      and katrina – unlike the sign we are making fun of, when typing a joke like you just did, spelling is kind of important!

      Sep 1, 2008 at 2:26 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.8   Claire

      Confucious say, “Man with two balls and one strike cannot walk either.”

      Sep 1, 2008 at 8:20 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.9   Holiday Djinn

      Confucious say, “Man who keep hand in pocket feel cocky all day long.”

      Confucious say, “He who fart in church, sit in their own pew”

      Sep 2, 2008 at 8:07 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.10   HS

      Let’s give the person a chance- maybe he/she suffers from dyslexia.
      OR perhaps there’s a miscommunication in the translation?

      Sep 2, 2008 at 11:26 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #4   secondsout bang

    Holy shit! Do they have Mongolian barbecue? I’ve got my hat ready and everything!

    Aug 31, 2008 at 5:56 pm   rating: 13  small thumbs up

    • #4.1   0falcon8 bang

      those god-damn Mongorrians!!!

      Sep 1, 2008 at 11:15 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.2   me

      Great! You’ve found the party hats for our Mongolian themed pot luck. Please see Casey in Human Resources to let her know what you will bring!

      Sep 1, 2008 at 1:08 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #5   Timo bang

    Egad Ren! You should have had your spelling hat on not the Mongolian BBQ hat when you made the sign.

    Aug 31, 2008 at 5:56 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #6   secondsout bang

    Ahh, America. Only in America do you have the option of eating as much as you can possibly stuff down your throat. The whole concept encourages overeating. And to make it all better, it sits under a warming lap until the cattle come feed at the trough. Yummy!

    Aug 31, 2008 at 5:59 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #6.1   JuanRojas

      Except cattle can’t wield serving utensils.

      Aug 31, 2008 at 6:53 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.2   Canthz_B bang

      Which is why they feed at the trough, no?

      Aug 31, 2008 at 7:01 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.3   tinkerbell2

      I like sitting under a warming lap..

      Sep 1, 2008 at 7:58 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.4   MissD.

      But apparently, cats can…

      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oMyHuCVaRaE

      Sep 1, 2008 at 11:16 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #7   amy d bang

    But I can’t help if I miss my mouth sometimes. I have an eating disorder.

    Aug 31, 2008 at 5:59 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

    • #7.1   Miss Unloop bang

      I miss my mouth too. How I wish it would come back…

      Aug 31, 2008 at 8:24 pm   rating: 10  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.2   Canthz_B bang

      That’s called a facial, ladies! :-P

      There are no “come backs”, but if you really work it there are “come agains”! :twisted:

      Aug 31, 2008 at 9:26 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.3   Miss Unloop bang

      That’s right – all you can eat, not all you can waste!

      Aug 31, 2008 at 9:39 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.4   Canthz_B bang

      Where’d I leave that engagement ring, Miss U?! :-P

      Aug 31, 2008 at 9:47 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.5   RunBarbara bang

      when i hear the phrase “all you can eat” i always picture my third-grade teacher and his brown corduroy pants draped over the back of my desk…

      Sep 1, 2008 at 10:42 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.6   N00b

      Does that go with your drinking problem?

      Sep 1, 2008 at 10:48 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.7   RunBarbara bang

      its only a problem when i stop drinking.

      Sep 1, 2008 at 10:56 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #8   anglophile bang

    When it was Ton’s Mongolian Grill, it apparently offered all the food you can put on your waist.

    Aug 31, 2008 at 5:59 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #8.1   secondsout bang

      I was once told that the reason they call that space between a woman’s hips and breasts a waist, is that they could have put another set of tits there!

      Aug 31, 2008 at 6:02 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.2   Canthz_B bang

      Some men’s philosophy about women…waist not, want not?!

      Aug 31, 2008 at 6:06 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.3   anglophile bang

      I see great potential for a trend there, 2nds. All it will take is the right mix of plastic surgeons and advertising. Invest in silicone futures today!

      Aug 31, 2008 at 6:08 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.4   Canthz_B bang

      Two’s company, four’s a party?!

      Aug 31, 2008 at 6:10 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.5   RunBarbara bang

      when my mom spoons me, its like i have four tits.

      Sep 1, 2008 at 10:38 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.6   secondsout bang

      right, but that would be like you had a set of tits on your back. Which would make you odd to look at, but fun to dance with.

      Wait, we’re talking about your mom, aren’t we? Those would be sagging down to your ass. Somewhat akin to fried eggs hanging on nail.

      Sep 1, 2008 at 10:28 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.7   0falcon8 bang

      or like some mashed potatos down the toe-end of a tube sock

      Sep 1, 2008 at 10:42 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #9   Canthz_B bang

    Tao”s Gadren does not approve of waste…try a side order of sum dum mes on your next visit!

    Aug 31, 2008 at 5:59 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #10   secondsout bang

    Tao”s Gadren has no bathrooms. They are very anti-waste.

    Aug 31, 2008 at 6:08 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #10.1   anglophile bang

      The real problem is that they also won’t let you have a doggy bag.

      Aug 31, 2008 at 6:09 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #10.2   Canthz_B bang

      Not officially anyway…that’s pork and we’re sticking to it!!

      Aug 31, 2008 at 6:12 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #10.3   Miss Unloop bang

      Steer clear of the pu-pu platter!

      Aug 31, 2008 at 8:27 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #11   Canthz_B bang

    Tao”s Gadren:

    Try our anything you can write alphabet soup!

    Aug 31, 2008 at 7:20 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

     
  • #12   Rockoutwithyour..

    While I sympathize with the owners not wanting tons of wasted food, I don’t think a PA note is truly going to change how people behave. Sadly, I know people who in spite would probably waste even more. Or perhaps they could be like me and simply have eyes much bigger than their stomach.

    Aug 31, 2008 at 7:57 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #13   Quite Contrary bang

    Nice use of Wingdings & Wingdings2!

    Aug 31, 2008 at 8:29 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #14   Quite Contrary bang

    Me thinks that Tao”s Garden has more to worry about than just their inability to spell. It looks like they have an inability to fill a restaurant.

    Aug 31, 2008 at 8:31 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #15   se

    Gadren is a Mongolian word that means “Cave where we eat all your children”

    Aug 31, 2008 at 9:00 pm   rating: 15  small thumbs up

     
  • #16   Canthz_B bang

    Tao”s Gadren is against waste…see how we found a use for this Halloween construction paper?!
    We know “Garden” is misspelled and that we used a quotation mark instead of an apostrophe, but you got the point, so we didn’t use another sheet.

    Aug 31, 2008 at 11:50 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

     
  • #17   snee

    tao”s gadren has really gotten down to the essentials of the “all you can eat buffet”. it’s either big waist or big waste.

    Sep 1, 2008 at 1:30 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #18   Canthz_B bang

    This is the free market in action, pitting the gastric system against the consumer’s appetite, against the conservationist within us all.
    Heady stuff!

    Sep 1, 2008 at 2:08 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #18.1   snee bang

      so…in communist russia, buffet eats you?

      Sep 1, 2008 at 2:18 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #18.2   Canthz_B bang

      In Communist Russia, there wasn’t enough food for a buffet.
      Best to leave the food line and find the toilet paper line, if not for food shit today, for vodka shit tomorrow!

      Sep 1, 2008 at 2:24 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #19   Canthz_B bang

    When you open Gluttony Gardens, you forfeit the right to count up the waste.

    Sep 1, 2008 at 2:19 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

     
  • #20   jackie31337 bang

    If I recall correctly, in Chinese culture it’s considered polite to leave some food on your plate at the end of the meal to show that you are satisfied. Otherwise, the hosts feel that they have not provided enough food and will keep bringing you more. Must not be a very authentic restaurant.

    Also, they totally stole their PAN from Dilbert. The missing third line to the strip is “Technically it’s all you CAN eat, not all you DO eat.”

    Sep 1, 2008 at 4:55 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #20.1   kthxbai bang

      I remember that dilbert comic. That was the first thing I thought when I saw this note!

      haha

      Sep 2, 2008 at 4:36 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #20.2   araucaria

      Actually, the joke appeared in an old Gumby cartoon way back in the ’60s. You know what Picasso (maybe) said: “Good artists copy; great artists steal.”

      Aug 10, 2009 at 10:52 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #21   Red Letterboxer

    There used to be a restaurant in this town that did offer the “all you can waste” buffet, but Al Gore shut it down.

    Sep 1, 2008 at 8:48 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #22   Lisa

    Maybe the misspellings and quotation were discards from someone else’s sign and they didn’t want to waste them.

    Sep 1, 2008 at 9:15 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #23   aaa

    Meh, I’ve got nothing. Maybe something about how “Gadren” sounds like something out of Lord of the Rings or how you can’t expect the clientele of a buffet to adhere to concepts like self control or the reduce part of “Reduce, Reuse, Recycle,” but no. I’m instead going to rot my brain on the Dominic Dunne-a-thon on CourtTV.

    BTW, does anyone else think that CourtTV (I guess TruTV now) kinda sucks giant nards now?

    Sep 1, 2008 at 12:42 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #24   S&M

    Stimpy became more critical in the end and took to criticizing Ren more before the “accident”.

    TruTV totally went into licking the sweat from giant sloth nards. They somehow forgot what made them good in the first place and added shite programming.

    Sep 1, 2008 at 1:36 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #24.1   secondsout bang

      I think the “non nested dipshit award” comes in the form of pants and shirt as a single unit.

      Sep 1, 2008 at 1:48 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #24.2   aaa

      Indeed! While it’s good to know that I’m not the only one who likes the old CourtTV better, you lose 20 points for not nesting. Sorry fella, but you now have to squeeze yourself into your spandexy punishment.

      I hope you’re not a guy. We don’t want another repeat of the Michael Phelps smashed dick incident.

      Sep 1, 2008 at 2:39 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #24.3   Canthz_B bang

      They used to have a show called “Instant Justice” that televised night court sessions.
      That was some entertaining “shite”! :-)

      Sep 1, 2008 at 2:48 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #24.4   aaa

      That sounds like it would be fucking hilarious.

      They need to have more shows like that again and less of the reality crap about oil rigs, beach patrols, and high school principal’s offices.

      Although if I had bitchin satellite, I could have Investigation Discovery. If I’m not mistaken, it seems to be similar to old-school CourtTV.

      Sep 1, 2008 at 3:36 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #24.5   secondsout bang

      Night court sessions? Did they have a bailiff named Bull? ’cause that would be hilarious!

      Oh, John Laroquette, the world of comedy just isn’t the same without your occasional ability to make people laugh.

      Sep 1, 2008 at 10:31 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #24.6   Carrie

      OH TruTV sucks, but they do have “The Smoking Gun Presents: The Worlds Dumbest Criminals” featuring such bright eyed wonderstars as Leif Garrett, Tonya Harding, Todd Bridges, Danny Bonaduce (OK I love HIM!!), and in absofuckinglutely amazing technicolor bad face liftedness GARY BUSEY!! Making comments about stupid people. Sometimes, if you’re lucky Gary Busey will give a few words of wisdom to round out the hour.

      and uh this sign was fucking delicious (keeping w/the program here)

      Sep 2, 2008 at 6:26 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #25   Janie

    Actually, it’s a pretty good place to eat, but the lady gave me the evil eye and I wasn’t having it.

    Sep 1, 2008 at 4:31 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #26   smalvarado bang

    I’ve cracked the mystery of the Gadren (thanks to the lying bastards at Wikipedia) regarding the Three Jewels of Tao”ism:

    “The second is jian (Chinese: ?; pinyin: ji?n; Wade-Giles: chien; literally “frugality, moderation, economy, restraint, be sparing”),”

    Aha!

    “a practice that the Tao Te Ching (e.g., chapter 59) praises. Ellen M. Chen (1989:209) believes jian is “organically connected” with the Taoist metaphor pu”

    [Make your own joke here]

    (? “uncarved wood; simplicity”), and “stands for the economy of nature that does not waste anything.”

    So the sign should read: “PLEASE CONSIDER PU BEFORE EATING AT TAO”S GADREN. THANK YOU!”

    Sep 2, 2008 at 1:00 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #27   Delphi

    I hate when buffets get all uppity about customers wasting food. It would be fair to have a ‘no waste’ rule if everything tasted good, but no less than half the food at ANY buffet is inedible. I’m not gonna choke down a cardboard dumpling from the Ming dynasty just because Tao”s Gadron frowns on waste…

    Sep 2, 2008 at 8:29 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #27.1   Mishee bang

      or even Tao’s Gadren….

      Sep 2, 2008 at 9:06 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #27.2   Delphi

      A thousand heartfelt apologies. Hope I didn’t ruin your dumpling!

      Sep 2, 2008 at 10:29 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #28   Ryan

    Waist Knot I Gut!

    Sep 2, 2008 at 10:06 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #29   secondsout bang

    You will eat the parsley, the chicken bones, and even your Mongolian BBQ hat. We do not waste here. Eat them!!

    Sep 2, 2008 at 11:09 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #30   Stephanie

    This place is still disgusting. You should see the floor in the cooking area. Oh and all your meat starts in frozen chunks.

    I ate there once and will never eat there again!

    Sep 3, 2008 at 11:50 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #31   Chloe

    …so clean your plates, dammit!

    Sep 3, 2008 at 4:14 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #32   optimismopski

    You leave now! You been here 4 hour!

    Sep 6, 2008 at 7:30 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #33   ambra

    There’s a restaurant in Seattle like this called “Foodie Goodie” and it’s a Chinese Buffet. They CHARGE for uneaten food. After we got a taste, we know why. Disgusting.

    Sep 9, 2008 at 9:55 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #34   the sushi nazi

    [...] related: the all-you-can-spell buffet [...]

    Oct 14, 2009 at 1:06 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     

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