Entries from August 2008
What do you do when words alone can’t express the depth of your feeling? In the business world, you turn to clip art. And specifically, you turn to screen beans.
If you’ve seen a PowerPoint presentation in the last decade, you’re most likely familiar with screen beans, the clip art collection that will not die.
Says one fan: “Sreen beans are GREAT! they have personality! You have to have imagination and a sense of humor to appreciate them.” You do not, however, have to be an English speaker.
Our anonymous submitter from Norway found this sign in a dirty corner of a factory where he’s been working this summer.
(Loose translation from the Norwegian: IF YOU FEEL THE URGE TO PEE, USE A TOILET. THIS IS NOT THE RIGHT PLACE.)
“The really funny thing about it,” our submitter says, “is that someone has peed (several times) on the actual sign!”
related: Stop! in the name of clip art
extra credit: Absolute PowerPoint [thenewyorker.com]
Powerpoint is evil [wired.com]
Tags: CAPS LOCK · clip art catastrophe · Norway · piss
Omar says he found this tucked underneath the windshield his car in Noe Valley, a neighborhood of San Francisco “inhabited by self-centered jackasses — myself included, if you believe this note.”
Adds Omar: “I should clarify: The author of this masterpiece is talking about residential street parking, not a private/public lot with clearly designated lines or, for that matter, even metered street parking. I like to think of myself as a fairly considerate person; clearly I’m nowhere near considerate enough.” (Not by Northern Californian standards, at least.)
related: The parking class
Tags: Bay Area · California · parking · San Francisco
Nicole in Australia says this note was left anonymously on her coworker’s computer. “We work in a fairly small office and no one will own up to putting the note there,” she says…not that they necessarily disagree with the sentiment.
Think about it, though. Which is worse: the click-click-click of long fingernails on a keyboard, or the snip-snip of a coworker clipping his nails on company time?
related: At least it wasn’t “grand valse”
Tags: Australia · noise · office · on behalf of everyone
Tom from Cambridge, England spotted this notice posted in “the tiniest little toilet in my college hall” — so tiny, he says, there’s “barely enough room to fit a dog in there if you tried.” (But a few raw steaks? Perhaps!)
(Massive Canine Infestation: sharing the stage with The Light Brown Apple Moth Debacle at a Warped Tour show near you!)
related: So many questions
Tags: bathroom · CAPS LOCK · college life · food · fun with malapropisms · Say wha? · toilet · U.K. · vermin · WTF?
Writes Michael in Milton Keynes, England: “I have an ex-service ambulance which I use as a van. I had parked it on the road round the corner from me for a couple of weeks, and after two days I got a call from the town council’s abandoned vehicle unit. Then I got a few calls from the police. Today, when I decided to move it, I found this note on the window. I was almost tempted to buy something and abandon it there for real now…but that would be bad, wouldn’t it?”
related: But He took the wheel
Tags: "polite notice" · parking · there goes the neighborhood · U.K.
An anonymous submitter in Ann Arbor, Michigan received this e-mail from a guy who just moved into her co-op (“basically a co-ed frat house”) for the rest of the summer. “We’ve tried to reason with him,” she says, to no avail. “When asked why he has to get up so early, he says, ‘I have important things to do in the morning,’ and that’s it.”
The even bigger mystery? Wonders our submitter: “Why, if he needs complete silence at night, did he move in with 16 other college kids on summer break?”
related: there will come soft pains
Tags: and that's an order · college life · drizzunk · e-mail · Michigan · noise · questionable logic · roommates · sleeping · spelling and grammar police · thanks (but not really)