just doing their part to uphold the reputation of americans abroad

September 2nd, 2008 · 118 comments

edward says this sign was posted on every floor and inside all the elevators at the hotel that headquartered ucla’s study abroad program in granada, spain last semester.

can you blame them? i mean, really — what a waste of perfectly good manchego!

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FILED UNDER: actually totally reasonable · cheese · espana · exclamation-point happy! · noise · spain · university

118 responses so far ↓

#1 zombieBlanco

The smeared cheese should have tipped the hotel staff off to the fact that this was a sneak attack by visiting UW Badgers. Long and storied is the Bruins/Badgers overseas rivalry.

Sep 2, 2008 at 8:33 pm rating: +17

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- #1.1 Claire
  
  Perhaps the hotel should not leave complimentary packages of cream cheese out during the complimentary breakfast…what is next…marmalade left upon the door handles?
  
  Hotel security should have checked the paws of all guest Badgers the morning after…hmmmm…..
  
  Sep 3, 2008 at 1:40 am rating: 0
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#2 Pwntastic

do not smear cheese on the hotel’s doors, it hurts the hotel’s feelings

Sep 2, 2008 at 8:40 pm rating: +2

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- #2.1 Claire
  
  Those hotel doors were fucking delicious!
  
  Sep 3, 2008 at 1:47 am rating: +4
- #2.2 snee
  
  claire, claire, claire…. suit up!
  
  Sep 3, 2008 at 2:09 am rating: 0
- #2.3 Claire
  
  *Sigh*
  
  All right…if I must…but the unitard chafes me so….
  
  Sep 3, 2008 at 2:19 am rating: +2
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#3 zombieBlanco

✔ annoying music

✔ cheap booze

¿ spreadable cheese

Sep 2, 2008 at 8:42 pm rating: +13

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- #3.1 BurstingAtTheSeams
  
  Such beautiful humor!
  
  Sep 4, 2008 at 6:33 pm rating: 0
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#4 Canthz_B

Dear Hotel,

While we recognize that European cheeses have strange aromas, be advised that that was not cheese but whiz!

PS: Quiet celebrations are for pussies!
Party on, Dude!

Sep 2, 2008 at 8:50 pm rating: +18

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#5 secondsout

It was garlic cheese, to keep away the French vampires.

Sep 2, 2008 at 9:01 pm rating: +7

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- #5.1 Canthz_B
  
  Limburger, to keep away the olfactory gifted.
  
  Sep 2, 2008 at 9:10 pm rating: +2
- #5.2 Below me
  
  Dude, that wasn’t cheese…
  
  Sep 2, 2008 at 11:34 pm rating: +8
- #5.3 Claire
  
  Ah, yes! The ingeniuty of American college students abroad combined with surplus availability of cheap, spreadable things in Spain…viola!
  
  Sep 3, 2008 at 1:42 am rating: +1
- #5.4 CremeBrulee
  
  …cheap, spreadable things…
  
  *snicker
  
  Sep 3, 2008 at 10:18 am rating: +5
- #5.5 Tre-Fillet
  
  Cheap and spreadable? Sounds like Candy…
  
  Sep 3, 2008 at 1:23 pm rating: +3
- #5.6 Mishee
  
  sounds like RB’s mom to me…
  
  but then again, she also emits a “cheesy like substance” - I wouldn’t suggest spreading it on a cracker (or a door for that matter)…!
  
  Sep 3, 2008 at 2:09 pm rating: +1
- #5.7 RunBarbara
  
  of course, it goes without saying that you spread your legs to get some of it on your “clams”.
  
  Sep 3, 2008 at 2:23 pm rating: +1
- #5.8 Thea
  
  living with a Frenchman, I can assure you that garlic has the opposite of a repellent effect…
  
  Sep 4, 2008 at 5:57 am rating: 0
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#6 secondsout

No cheese on the door? How about peanut butter? What?? Stop holding my art down, man! The censors are always trying to shut down free expression and stuff.

Sep 2, 2008 at 9:02 pm rating: +9

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- #6.1 Claire
  
  Some people are highly allergic to anything containing peanuts…perhaps hotel staff should look for peanut-intolerant vandals
  
  Sep 3, 2008 at 1:44 am rating: +4
- #6.2 agirlie
  
  L’homme essaye toujours de me réduire!!
  
  Sep 3, 2008 at 4:02 pm rating: 0
- #6.3 Donna Martin Graduates!
  
  I hope you don’t let them. Fuck that!
  
  Sep 4, 2008 at 8:52 am rating: 0
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#7 Ourhero

I wonder if there is a list of acceptable food products to rub on the doors.

Nothing says “celebration” like a good, old fashioned door rubbing.

Sep 2, 2008 at 9:03 pm rating: +14

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- #7.1 Abe Froman
  
  Cheese is an acceptable product to rub on the door. The hotel only prefers that you quietly smear your cheese while celebrating indoors, otherwise smear it on the outside doors and make all the noise you want!
  
  Sep 3, 2008 at 5:25 pm rating: +1
- #7.2 Ourhero
  
  I see, so it is less about the actual cheese smearing,
  more about the decibel level, while smearing the aforementioned cheese.
  
  OK then, my trip to Spain is back on!
  
  Sep 4, 2008 at 10:58 am rating: 0
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#8 Canthz_B

We didn’t pay our hotel bills…we gave them cheese!

Sep 2, 2008 at 9:06 pm rating: +2

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- #8.1 Claire
  
  Wasn’t it Franco who said, “Let them eat queso?”
  
  Sep 3, 2008 at 1:45 am rating: +1
- #8.2 Timo
  
  FrancoAmerican
  
  Sep 3, 2008 at 10:31 am rating: +7
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#9 Canthz_B

If you run a cheesy hotel, what do you expect?

Sep 2, 2008 at 9:07 pm rating: +18

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- #9.1 Claire
  
  I bet this was in relatiation for the fact that the toilets did not flush properly and the students were requested to use just one square of toilet paper….
  
  Sep 3, 2008 at 1:46 am rating: +2
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#10 secondsout

Doesn’t say anything about spreading the cheese into the carpets. Party on!!

Sep 2, 2008 at 9:10 pm rating: +13

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#11 Canthz_B

Shallow Cheese, we will wipe no cheese, before its time.

Sep 2, 2008 at 9:13 pm rating: +1

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#12 Eric B.

UCLA students smear Kraft slices.
USC students smear Brie.
San Diego State students think cheese is fucking delicious.

Sep 2, 2008 at 9:14 pm rating: +7

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- #12.1 bellabeastie
  
  I personally like Swiss. Can I avoid the unitard ? If I like fucking delicious swiss??
  
  Sep 2, 2008 at 9:56 pm rating: 0
- #12.2 Canthz_B
  
  A dicey move, beastie, but I think you pulled it off by the way you swiveled your hips through it! Nice moves!
  
  Sep 2, 2008 at 10:22 pm rating: +2
- #12.3 Quite Contrary
  
  Humboldt State students crave cheese after they get high.
  Stanford students think they are too good for cheese.
  Cal students will protest for the freedom of the enslaved cheese.
  
  Sep 2, 2008 at 10:23 pm rating: +6
- #12.4 Joe
  
  Bellabeastie, you like fucking delicious swiss? If we’re still talking about cheese, that’s an image I don’t want in my head, you sick little deviant. If we’re talking about the people, I don’t want to know how you determine their “delicious”-ness.
  
  Sep 2, 2008 at 10:27 pm rating: +1
- #12.5 zombieBlanco
  
  QC — thanks for being the first person EVER to equate HSU to Cal or Stanford.
  
  Sep 2, 2008 at 10:35 pm rating: +1
- #12.6 Quite Contrary
  
  The two people I know from Humboldt are far smarter than the two people I know from Stanford.
  
  Sep 2, 2008 at 10:39 pm rating: +1
- #12.7 bellabeastie
  
  Hey Joe– Ooh yes, I like the cheeessse. Swiss. With all those little holes in it… And the people. Well, they are just lovley.
  
  And just who are you to call me a “sick little deviant”?
  
  We haven’t even met.
  
  Sep 2, 2008 at 10:48 pm rating: 0
- #12.8 Mishee
  
  Berkeley students are actually eating government cheese at the moment… but when you live in a tree, you gotta take what you can get!
  
  MIT students are mostly lactose intolerant. Damn math geeks.
  
  Sep 3, 2008 at 9:10 am rating: +3
- #12.9 Timo
  
  MIT students are not lactose intolerant Mishee! Gallons of milk in lattes are consumed by math tools every term. Plus who can forget about the annual cheese paddle wheel race down the Charles against Harvard!?
  
  Sep 3, 2008 at 9:49 am rating: +2
- #12.10 Mark
  
  How many Smoots long is the paddle wheel race?
  
  Sep 3, 2008 at 10:54 am rating: +1
- #12.11 Timo
  
  It is 881.419 Smoots
  
  Sep 3, 2008 at 10:58 am rating: +1
- #12.12 Mishee
  
  Claude Henry Smoot?
  
  Sep 3, 2008 at 11:10 am rating: +1
- #12.13 Tina O
  
  Oliver R. Smoot.
  
  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Oliver_R._Smoot
  
  Sep 3, 2008 at 11:17 am rating: 0
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#13 B Rad

You can order last night’s episode of “UCLA Students” for only 30 EUROS!!

Sep 2, 2008 at 9:22 pm rating: +5

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- #13.1 snee
  
  BUT THAT’S NOT ALL!
  
  order now and you will get a second copy made out of cheese–incredible spreadable cheese!
  
  our operators are standing by.
  
  Sep 4, 2008 at 12:21 am rating: +4
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#14 Troy McClure

The hotelier from Grenada
Was all “don’t smear the cheese, yadda yadda”
We’re just showin’ you dudes
How to party with foods
But don’t thank us, really; de nada

Sep 2, 2008 at 9:40 pm rating: +33

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#15 Canthz_B

I was in a hotel lobby in Grenada
Just sitting reading the day’s Pravda.
On the glass doors men spread cheese,
Shouted I, “Boys! Stop! Please”,
The example set, they shouldn’t've oughtta!

Should be nested under Troy’s #14.

Sep 2, 2008 at 9:49 pm rating: +3

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- #15.1 bellabeastie
  
  LOL.. CB.
  
  Why-oh-why would someone spread cheese anywhere? Seriously. I mean, OK, but why? Maybe it’s sort of like egging someone. Or their house. Or car.
  
  I’d rather have an omelette.
  
  Sep 2, 2008 at 10:09 pm rating: 0
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#16 zombieBlanco

Uhhh, hi — Mom?

I was kinda hoping you could, like, ummm wire me 50 dollars?

Well, we had a party last night — no, nobody’s hurt…no, nobody’s in jail.

We….we, ummm, got a little out-of-control…and…well…we, like, spread ummmm cheese — yah, I said cheese

We spread cheese over the hotel doors and now they want us to pay extra to have it cleaned!

Mom? Mom?

Sep 2, 2008 at 10:06 pm rating: +11

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#17 0falcon8

Our dairy brethern will not be oppressed!!!
Viva la gorganzola!!!

UCLA
United Cheese Liberation Army

Sep 2, 2008 at 10:09 pm rating: +35

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- #17.1 Timo
  
  “Cheeses struggle, some cheeses triumph, others are eliminated. Such is history, such is the history of civilization for thousands of years.!”
  
  Moo Tse-Tung
  
  Sep 3, 2008 at 10:06 am rating: +9
- #17.2 Timo
  
  “we must throw off this yoke of cheese oppression!”
  
  -Che Gruyère
  
  Sep 3, 2008 at 10:22 am rating: +13
- #17.3 creamy
  
  Interestingly.. there is actually a spanish cheese called Maó. So poor old Mao Tse-Tung has probably been the butt of spanish cheese jokes for years . Wonder if he knew…
  
  Sep 3, 2008 at 8:24 pm rating: +3
- #17.4 creamy
  
  “I object to cheese because when it appears to do good, the good is only temporary; the evil it does is permanent”
  
  Mahatma Gouda
  
  Sep 3, 2008 at 8:50 pm rating: +6
- #17.5 creamy
  
  “History does nothing; it does not possess immense riches, it does not fight battles. It is dairy cows, real, living, who do all this.”
  
  Karl Marxcarpone
  
  Sep 3, 2008 at 8:58 pm rating: +5
- #17.6 creamy
  
  “Nobody can give you cheese. Nobody can give you gouda or brie or anything. If you’re a man, you take it.”
  
  Mozzarella X (Mozzarella X Speaks, 1965)
  
  Sep 3, 2008 at 9:12 pm rating: +7
- #17.7 Troy McClure
  
  “Smear unto others as you would have them smear unto you.”
  
  —Cheeses Sliced
  
  Sep 4, 2008 at 12:29 am rating: +9
- #17.8 Claire
  
  “Blessed are the cheese makers…”
  
  Sep 4, 2008 at 4:00 pm rating: +2
- #17.9 Timo
  
  ” Consider the cheeses on the doors. They neither toil nor do they spin. They are perfect smears.”
  
  -Cheese N Rice
  
  Sep 4, 2008 at 7:56 pm rating: +2
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#18 Quite Contrary

painfully polite and hilariously hostile writings from shared spaces the world over

just doing their part to uphold the reputation of americans abroad

September 2nd, 2008 · 118 comments

118 responses so far ↓