lost & found

September 16th, 2008 · 133 comments

our anonymous submitter in california is not the resident of apartment 105, but she knew exactly who this note was intended for. “the dude in 105 lets his dog out, deposit her gifts on the sidewalk, and then run back. dude stands and watches her, perfectly at his ease,” she says. “this has been going on for as long as I’ve lived here, so i guess someone finally got fed up.”

adds our submitter: “this is not the first time I’ve seen a note like this. the shameless are immune to passive aggression.”

related: passive-allergic

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FILED UNDER: actions speak louder · california · dogs · neighbors · shit

133 responses so far ↓

#1 Pete Nisbet

that doodoo was fucking delicious

Sep 16, 2008 at 7:38 am rating: +1

reply to this comment
- #1.1 anglophile
  
  *yawn*
  
  Sep 16, 2008 at 8:05 am rating: +29
- #1.2 Canthz_B
  
  *Too bad, so sad*
  
  Sep 16, 2008 at 10:51 am rating: +1
- #1.3 To be Me
  
  No postage necessary!!!!!!!
  
  Sep 16, 2008 at 12:51 pm rating: +1
- #1.4 Claire
  
  Oh, Pete, the Unitard…time to don the communal unitard…
  
  Sep 16, 2008 at 2:00 pm rating: +1
- #1.5 Pete Nisbet
  
  what does that mean?
  
  Sep 18, 2008 at 4:24 am rating: 0
- #1.6 park rose
  
  It means this
  
  Sep 18, 2008 at 5:51 am rating: 0
- #1.7 Pete Nisbet
  
  oh right, cool.
  
  i’ll be sure to order one then
  
  Sep 18, 2008 at 12:17 pm rating: 0
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#2 Amy

the shameless are immune to passive aggression

I want that on a t-shirt.

Sep 16, 2008 at 7:48 am rating: +28

reply to this comment
- #2.1 Ti O
  
  That is deep…
  
  Sep 16, 2008 at 9:20 am rating: +2
- #2.2 park rose
  
  Deep shit.
  
  Sep 16, 2008 at 9:35 am rating: +20
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#3 Paige

Dear Apt. 105: Wish you were here! Love, your passive-aggressive neighbour

Sep 16, 2008 at 7:56 am rating: +2

reply to this comment
- #3.1 Claire
  
  “Dear Apt. 105, You owe me one clean envelope. Love ya, XO”
  
  Sep 16, 2008 at 2:02 pm rating: +5
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#4 anglophile

Maybe it would have been more effective to put the property in the envelope and make him open it up to find out what it was he lost.

Sep 16, 2008 at 8:05 am rating: +32

reply to this comment
- #4.1 claw71
  
  Or bake it into a cake…
  
  Sep 16, 2008 at 9:03 am rating: +7
- #4.2 Claire
  
  Whatever happened to the flaming sack of dog sh–…
  
  Sep 16, 2008 at 2:05 pm rating: +2
- #4.3 LS77
  
  Slap it on his windshield, wait he’s a loser so maybe he doesn’t drive (in California?!).
  
  I would’ve dropped it in his mailbox!
  
  Sep 17, 2008 at 1:36 pm rating: 0
- #4.4 Mishee
  
  Everyone drives in CA - I know bums who have cars for Christ’s Sake!
  
  Sep 17, 2008 at 2:16 pm rating: 0
- #4.5 bean
  
  I woulda smashed into his key hole, and the surrounding area. I mean, if his dog can shit anywhere it pleases, I think that courtesy should be extended to me being able to put it wherever I please.
  
  Sep 19, 2008 at 4:26 pm rating: +1
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#5 HairySwede

well… shit happens.

Sep 16, 2008 at 8:17 am rating: +2

reply to this comment
#6 amy d

There’s nothing stinkier than apartment poop.

Sep 16, 2008 at 8:17 am rating: +1

reply to this comment
- #6.1 claw71
  
  Have you met RB’s mom?
  
  Sep 16, 2008 at 10:23 am rating: +2
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#7 Joe

Props to the PAN-writer! Some people think they can leave whatever crap they don’t want to deal with anywhere they they please.

Next target: butt-flinging smokers.

Sep 16, 2008 at 8:38 am rating: +8

reply to this comment
- #7.1 bedhead
  
  Not being a smoker, at first I had an image of someone trying to fling their derriere…..eventually I figured out the reference. Time for another cup of morning coffee. The first one obviously didn’t work.
  
  B
  
  Sep 16, 2008 at 9:38 am rating: +5
- #7.2 park rose
  
  Well, just what does a Scotsman wear underneath his kilt?
  
  Sep 16, 2008 at 10:06 am rating: 0
- #7.3 RunBarbara
  
  mishee’s mom’s mouth.
  
  Sep 16, 2008 at 3:05 pm rating: +2
- #7.4 zyzzyva
  
  lipstick, if he’s lucky.
  
  Sep 17, 2008 at 2:06 am rating: +2
- #7.5 Holiday Djinn
  
  A bow to keep his package wrapped up tight?
  
  Sep 17, 2008 at 7:33 am rating: 0
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#8 claw71

This is neither clever, nor is it effective. Do you think this is going to bother the dude? Nope. The dude abides. If you want to have any chance of getting through, you have to be direct, you have to explain to him why the offending poop shouldn’t be left on the sidewalk. Of course, he’s got more important things on his mind, like making sure that his dog doesn’t crap on his rug. It really ties the room together, you know?

Sep 16, 2008 at 8:40 am rating: +14

reply to this comment
- #8.1 GhostWriter
  
  In other words, “This will not stand, ya know, this [passive] aggression will not stand, man …“
  
  Sep 16, 2008 at 9:05 am rating: +13
- #8.2 Mark
  
  This isn’t Nam. There are rules.
  
  Sep 16, 2008 at 11:06 am rating: +7
- #8.3 claw71
  
  SHUT THE FUCK UP DONNIE!!!!
  
  Sep 16, 2008 at 11:11 am rating: +6
- #8.4 RunBarbara
  
  I too dabbled in pacifism once, not in ‘Nam of course…
  
  Sep 16, 2008 at 11:20 am rating: +3
- #8.5 claw71
  
  What’s this bullshit? I don’t fuckin’ care! It don’t matter to Jesus. But you’re not foolin’ me, man. You might fool the fucks in the league office, but you don’t fool Jesus. This bush league psyche-out stuff. Laughable, man - ha ha! I would have fucked you in the ass Saturday. I fuck you in the ass next Wednesday instead. Wooo! You got a date Wednesday, baby!
  
  Sep 16, 2008 at 11:25 am rating: +6
- #8.6 Mark
  
  Pederast.
  
  Sep 16, 2008 at 11:28 am rating: +3
- #8.7 RunBarbara
  
  Eight year olds, dude.
  
  Sep 16, 2008 at 11:31 am rating: +3
- #8.8 claw71
  
  Say, friend - you got any more of that good sarsaparilla?
  
  Sep 16, 2008 at 11:36 am rating: +4
- #8.9 RunBarbara
  
  Three thousand years of beautiful tradition, from Moses to Sandy Koufax… you’re God-damned right Im living in the fucking past!
  
  Sep 16, 2008 at 11:37 am rating: +3
- #8.10 Mark
  
  NOTHING IS FUCKED!? THE GODDAMN PLANE HAS CRASHED INTO THE MOUNTAIN!
  
  Sep 16, 2008 at 11:45 am rating: +3
- #8.11 RunBarbara
  
  Your “revolution” is over, Mr. Lebowski! Condolences! The bums lost! …My advice is, do what your parents did! Get a job, sir! The bums will always lose– do you hear me, Lebowski? THE BUMS WILL ALWAYS LOSE
  
  Sep 16, 2008 at 11:50 am rating: +3
- #8.12 Ti O
  
  Nihilists! Fuck me. I mean, say what you like about the tenets of National Socialism, Dude, at least it’s an ethos.
  
  Sep 16, 2008 at 12:29 pm rating: +4
- #8.13 RunBarbara
  
  i’ll suck your cock for a thousand dollars…brandt cany watch though, or he has to pay a hundred.
  
  Sep 16, 2008 at 1:14 pm rating: +4
- #8.14 Ti O
  
  In a sense, yes. My art has been commended as being strongly vaginal which bothers some men. The word itself makes some men uncomfortable. Vagina.
  
  Sep 16, 2008 at 1:32 pm rating: +9
- #8.15 Mark
  
  Stay away from my special… from my fucking lady friend, man!
  
  Sep 16, 2008 at 1:38 pm rating: +3
- #8.16 RunBarbara
  
  Don’t be fatuous, Jeffrey.
  
  Sep 16, 2008 at 1:52 pm rating: +4
- #8.17 GhostWriter
  
  MIB, DELIVER THE GALAXY OR EARTH WILL BE DESTROYED.
  
  …wait, what’re we doing here??
  
  Sep 16, 2008 at 1:58 pm rating: +3
- #8.18 Claire
  
  Now if this were in SPAIN, they could have just sweared Apt. 105’s door knob with dog shit…Where are Californian college students when you need them?
  
  Sep 16, 2008 at 2:07 pm rating: +4
- #8.19 Sloper
  
  You see what happens when you find a stranger in the Alps?
  
  Sep 16, 2008 at 8:02 pm rating: +2
- #8.20 Holiday Djinn
  
  I wouldn’t hold out too much hope for the Credence.
  
  Sep 17, 2008 at 7:47 am rating: +2
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#9 Kristin

To the butt-flinging smokers: The world is not your ashtray.

Sep 16, 2008 at 8:41 am rating: +12

reply to this comment
- #9.1 Canthz_B
  
  I’d rather step on a cigarette butt on the sidewalk than in someone’s old chewing gum!
  
  Sep 16, 2008 at 10:21 am rating: +7
- #9.2 se
  
  or in dog crap
  
  Sep 16, 2008 at 11:43 am rating: +2
- #9.3 Wolverine Girl
  
  Cantz B, I guess you haven’t stood on a lit ciggy butt in bare feet. It’s a pain I won’t forget. I was 12 or so at the time, at the beach (hence the bare feet) and let me tell you, there was nothing passive in my response that day. I’ve hated butt flingers ever since.
  
  Sep 16, 2008 at 6:56 pm rating: +3
- #9.4 Smokin' Lyn
  
  I’m a smoker who would like butt flinging smokers to be forced to eat the contents of their ashtray at home. It’s NOT hard to either find a bin, or get a hold of a pocket ashtray.
  
  Sep 16, 2008 at 9:35 pm rating: +4
- #9.5 Canthz_B
  
  I’m not in the habit of going about barefoot.
  The thought of stepping in gum, dog crap or human expectorant disgusts me.
  The very least of my worries is an old cigarette butt or twenty.
  Find a worthy cause to rail against, this ain’t it. If you want to be against litter, I’m with you, but if you find the need to single out cigarette butts from all of the other crap humans deposit upon the Earth, I think you just may need professional help that I cannot offer you.
  
  Please either spell my name right or don’t single me out by name!
  
  Sep 16, 2008 at 9:46 pm rating: +11
- #9.6 Canthz_B
  
  If you’re walking around barefoot, does it not behoove you to watch where you put your feet?
  
  *behoove*
  
  Sep 16, 2008 at 10:03 pm rating: +2
- #9.7 gwennie
  
  I’ll fling my fucking cigarette butt wherever I fucking like!
  You can hate me now, I don’t care. I’m just a victim of the tobacco industry with an addiction problem.
  
  Sep 17, 2008 at 5:30 am rating: +2
- #9.8 Bunnee
  
  Aim for the eyes! Aim for the eyes!
  
  Sep 18, 2008 at 3:29 pm rating: 0
- #9.9 bean
  
  I’m in the habit of smoking AND walking around barefoot, and I endorse both the common sense responses: smokers, find somewhere to put it; if you walk barefoot, watch where you’re stepping.
  
  I can understand the beach thing though, people just assume it went out because they threw it in the sand. Shameful. But no reason to single smokers out. I would rather step on a lit cigarette than a piece of glass from some drunken asshole party.
  
  Sep 19, 2008 at 4:32 pm rating: +1
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#10 Mishee

I just wonder how long the note writer stalked the poor dog to collect its poop for his PA note…

And people say I need to get a life!

Sep 16, 2008 at 8:58 am rating: +2

reply to this comment
- #10.1 gingerE
  
  Are you sure the poop was from the dog?
  
  Sep 16, 2008 at 10:16 am rating: +2
- #10.2 amy d
  
  More importantly, did they write the PA note before or after the poop collection?
  
  Sep 16, 2008 at 10:40 am rating: +1
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#11 Holiday Djinn

Am I the only one who finds this PA note crappy?

Sep 16, 2008 at 9:00 am rating: +10

reply to this comment
- #11.1 amy d
  
  No, I agree, this note really stinks.
  
  Sep 16, 2008 at 10:45 am rating: +3
- #11.2 Claire
  
  This is truly a note that would stick to your shoe…
  
  Sep 16, 2008 at 2:08 pm rating: +2
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painfully polite and hilariously hostile writings from shared spaces the world over

lost & found

September 16th, 2008 · 133 comments

133 responses so far ↓