writes harry in new york: “my roomie sent me this e-mail two weeks after telling me i need to move out. i guess it’s a case of retroactive passive-aggression on my part.”
in his own defense, harry adds, “the ‘light’ is a nightlight and the ‘AC’ is a window fan.”
related: some creative brainstorming and flexible thinking
146 responses so far ↓
#1
Chantel
That guy may want to pick up a newspaper and read how energy prices have soared over the last few years and then he will have his “record breaking” reason for their bill being so high.
please forgive me.
Sep 17, 2008 at 8:31 am rating: +35
#2
gwennie
An excellent definition of passive aggressiveness: “absence of action”. Awesome.
I also like the use of slashes: “painful/ hurting” “wasting/ draining”.
Go, and take care of your own energy use/ energy consumption fuckhead/ dumbass!
Sep 17, 2008 at 8:46 am rating: +24
#3
Mishee
I must be like an A/C - I sometimes find I am even high when the temperature is in the low 70s…
Sep 17, 2008 at 8:55 am rating: +30
#4
claw71
This note is absolutely amazing. It’s a complete mess and when you follow the accepted rules of grammar it should make no sense at all. It’s an English teacher’s worst nightmare. I’m not exactly persnickety about these things but I want to punch this guy for butchering the basic principles of syntax and composition.
In spite of all of that the note still has meaning. The message is clear. That simply boggles the mind. How can this train wreck of a note still deliver such a concise message?
Sep 17, 2008 at 9:01 am rating: +15
#5
Wade
“[A]s if to try to waste electricity on purpose to make me waste more money as much as possible.”
May I suggest another definition of passive aggression: Attack by the absence of grammar such as overuse of the infinitive phrase and abuse of comparisons of quantity.
Sep 17, 2008 at 9:12 am rating: +36
#6
Quite Contrary
Really? He thinks they are going to be able to part pleasantly? That’s the funniest part of the whole damn note.
Sep 17, 2008 at 9:13 am rating: +14
#7
aaa
Sounds like Harry’s roomie is Al Gore and Al decided to kick Harry out after they tried having a romantic/sexual relationship and it didn’t end well. Al’s just hurt, Harry. Can’t you understand that?
Sep 17, 2008 at 9:14 am rating: +8
#8
Quite Contrary
I’m also intrigued by his definition of “repeatedly.” Evidently, on his planet, it means a couple of times. I didn’t know that either but I am sure I can put that definition to good use.
Sep 17, 2008 at 9:15 am rating: +3
#9
Paintball "Punk"
Needs more ellipses….
Sep 17, 2008 at 9:15 am rating: +8
#10
Wade
I notice that Microsoft Outlook took it upon itself to remove the extra line breaks in the message.
I feel we have been cheated out of experiencing the full measure of the notewriter’s crazy.
Damn you, Bill Gates!
Sep 17, 2008 at 9:21 am rating: +8
#11
aaa
The phrase “my ‘failure’ to keep your here” intrigues me. Usually it’s not the leaving party that feels like the other party failed to keep them there; the leaving party generally feels that they left of their own volition, whether or not the other party’s behavior was a factor in their leaving. The staying party is usually the one that says that they “failed” to keep them around, like they were supposed to have enough control over the leaving party to keep them where they wanted them. This is the kind of mindset that drives people to stalk their exes and harass them, especially if they’ve seemed to have moved on, which may or may not include having a new significant other.
Psychology is fun.
Sep 17, 2008 at 9:29 am rating: +9
#12
thirty six red
Harry- just a thought; give him the Apt. 105 treatment.
Sep 17, 2008 at 9:33 am rating: +4
#13
anglophile
K, I notice lately a new pattern, repeatedly that for a couple of times you left me e-mails with terrible grammar (even using “quotation marks” when unnecessary) - as if to try to waste your grade school English classes on purpose to try to make me waste more money on red ink to correct your mistakes as much as possible.
The grammatical mistakes in the past 2 e-mails have been record-breaking, continued to pass the 2 dozen mark, far more than last summer (almost double), 3 times as much as what I used to have to read with two others who e-mailed me before you…
I feel as if you were angrily punishing me for my ‘failure’ to turn off my light and Air Conditioner. It is painful/ hurting to live with your terrible writing skills expressed
in the ways of “illiteracy and ignorance” (an attack by absence of knowledge such as excessive use of parentheses or refusing to start a new sentence when it is asked of you).
Will you kindly stop making me read for nothing? (the run-on sentences and garbled syntax that nobody is benefiting from (during your composing or my reading) but just murdering/ mangling the English language.) You seem to express your anger toward me further by ignoring my request for you to write a complete sentence - I wanted to trust you and read patiently…
Will you please stop punishing me, so that we may depart pleasantly, without any unnecessary quotation marks behind us? And again, will you forgive me for my situation that will not allow me to read your emails any longer?
If you feel something is not fair, will you express that in a way that can be understood, let me know and give both of us a chance to be writing in English?
I’m willing to understand your e-mails and what you have to say. Except I can’t.
Thanks,
Harry
Sep 17, 2008 at 9:37 am rating: +90
#14
claw71
To the tune of I will survive
Before the bills were low, I had cash to spend
Shopping every night, I thought it wouldn’t end
But you left the AC on and the light was burning long
it was wrong
and now my bills run on and on
reapeatedly, you act this way
wasting power when nobody’s here during the day
I should have kicked you out posthaste
I should have taken away the key
If I would have known that you’d be frivolously wasting electricity
So just stop, the PA crap
you owe me money
because my account is being tapped
you were the one who left the AC blasting high
did you think I’d mumble
and send the check to the power guy
oh no not I
I’m a PA scribe
as long as I know how to email
I know I’ll be a scribe
I’ve got no more space to give
go find someplace else to live
yes I’m a scribe
a PA scribe
Sep 17, 2008 at 10:08 am rating: +42
#15
zchamu
Please forgive me for being an emo douchebag, Harry. Can you express that constructively?
Sep 17, 2008 at 10:13 am rating: +3
#16
Me
Sheesh! This roommate could have turned off the fan and light himself, if it was such a concern. How hard is it to say or type “To conserve expensive energy, please turn off appliances when you leave the apartment”?
Team Conciseness!
Sep 17, 2008 at 10:20 am rating: +8