zora zero spotted this ongoing street-musician spat in portobello road market, london.
i’m not a londoner, but living near portobello road and complaining about the buskers seems like living near times square and complaining about the lights, no? i was cheered, therefore, to see the responses added by other more busker-friendly neighbo(u)rs at the bottom of the original note.
adds our submitter (who described herself as “‘team foreigner’ with busker sympathies”): “the paint on the railing was indeed being damaged by the original anti-busking clear-plastic-envelope-taping resident.”
related: i used to be your biggest fan
205 responses so far ↓
#1
krystolla
A cello is a pretty hefty instrument, not appropriate for carrying while running away from crazed note writers / water wielding maniacs.
Sep 18, 2008 at 7:43 am rating: +9
#2
Woman on the Verge
I especially adore the comment about the no buskers sign damaging the paint… it is just so perfectly PA. Questions this raises: What kind of music are the Buskers playing? Does the Anti-Busker movement have a theme song so the Buskers could play it? Is the cello player cute? Why in the world would you throw water on them as a deterrant when obviously it might just be seen as a lovely way of cooling them on a hot day? Where do I have to play if I want free beers?
Sep 18, 2008 at 7:45 am rating: +9
#3
Arielemc
How exactly does one hear an open window? Phrased a bit awkwardly.
Sep 18, 2008 at 7:48 am rating: +26
#4
aaa
I have to say, “busker” and “busking” are about the most retarded sounding words in the English language. Those street performing freaks should’ve gotten their metaphorical asses kicked just for that.
Sep 18, 2008 at 8:08 am rating: +6
#5
amy d
I find it amusing to pretend that Buskers is a lost cat. The “We miss you Buskers” sign is from its owners. The “Attention Buskers” sign is from residents who live in a building next to the alley where Buskers now plays and yowls all night.
Sep 18, 2008 at 8:21 am rating: +20
#6
claw71
There are several things to consider in this selection. First, the resolve of the people who are opposed to the buskers seems stronger than that of the people who support them. Look at the font and the crisp lettering. It’s so severe. There’s a lot of anger in that note. These people mean business and probably won’t hesitate to go above and beyond the threat of forced hydration if necessary.
That brings me to the second point which is the half-hearted support offered by the busker supporters. While it appears that more people are willing to back the buskers, I don’t believe that their support would extend much beyond the scrawled notes seen here. These people are unorganized and sloppy, as one would expect from fans of busking.
The third and final observation is an aside but still relevant. Buskers don’t perform for “some beers” they are out there performing for money. They try to make a living by providing entertainment. Your voluntary financial support allows them to pursue an artistic career path. Compensating them with alcohol doesn’t put food on the table, it won’t get them any time in a recording studio so they can cut a demo. Alcohol actually sends buskers on an express ride to homelessness. They hock their instruments for cash so they can buy Ripple and then they become aggressive panhandlers who eschew performance art in favor or poor personal hygiene.
You’ll notice that none of these alleged supporters is promising monetary remuneration if the buskers return. This is also typical of people who enjoy street performers. They’ll stand there and be entertained for hours only to walk away without reaching into their pockets for the spare change these poor buskers so desperately crave.
Sep 18, 2008 at 8:27 am rating: +23
#7
B Rad
Everyone was missed…. except Graham.
Sep 18, 2008 at 8:31 am rating: +23
#8
anglophile
The Buskers can’t come back. They have been sent into hiding by the Imperial Buskers Protection Program. I suspect most of them are trying to make a living now miming on the streets of Paris or washing windshields at busy intersections in New York and LA.
Sep 18, 2008 at 8:31 am rating: +6
#9
Holiday Djinn
What kills me is they claim that they cannot hear their own tv or radio when they play? Seriously?
What did you do, turn the Buskers into proper “Chamber” musicians and invite them in for a drink? They have measured decibel levels on the streets of New York and London. It can be over 100+ decibels. No way a few steet musicicians on classical unamplified instraments are going to come close to drowning out the “street noise” much less your tv/radio in your apartment.
Never pass up an opportunity to be angry or passive aggressive, eh?
Sep 18, 2008 at 8:31 am rating: +10
#10
claw71
It’s really too bad that the note didn’t threaten to call the constables. Somebody could play Yakety Sax while the bobbies, with night sticks held high, chase the cello player up and down the street. God, I love British comedy…it’s so intellectual.
Sep 18, 2008 at 8:46 am rating: +19
#11
Dave
“Yes, because Benny Hill is the zenith of British comedy, isn’t it?”, said Dave, passive-aggressively. “Yo need to go educate yo ass,” he added.
Sep 18, 2008 at 8:52 am rating: +7
#12
Mishee
I wonder if the cello player they really love is the guy who didn’t make it on Last Comic Standing this last season.
Poor Jim Tavares… but of course, he was cut cause we all know that the British just aren’t very funny.
Damn, I just realized this is another British note… do we have to start making fun of their teeth again?
Sep 18, 2008 at 8:56 am rating: +1
#13
Dave
Hang on, didn’t those fat Yanks vote Porky’s their number 1 film in a poll a few years back? A modern side-splitting classic of our times!
Sep 18, 2008 at 9:01 am rating: +5
#14
John
A friend of mine is a Hare Krishna whose group danced and sang in Times Square for years. A few years ago, however, they were told by the police they could no longer do so because the area residents were complaining about the noise.
I’m not sure who exactly lives directly in the middle of Times Square and how sensitive and selective their hearing is that the sound of a few tambourines was unbearable, despite the constant din of traffic and pedestrians.
Sep 18, 2008 at 9:02 am rating: +12
#15
GhostWriter
“Wazzat soyn sigh, ‘enery?”
“Danno- lawmee chick…”
“Allo! ‘eesez ‘Bushka’s Pleeze Noot’”
“So, ‘e wuntza noot, royt?”
“Eye, less givvum a royt propah noot!”
“Croynk it ta ‘livin, ‘enery- ‘Ya Shook Me Owl Noyt Lawng’ inna wan, two, throy…”
[[[BLEEEARRRKKKKTTTTT!!]]]
Sep 18, 2008 at 9:17 am rating: +21
#16
Rabbit
Those buskers were fucking delicious.
Sep 18, 2008 at 9:45 am rating: +5
#17
GhostWriter
BUSKERS Pease note
“Damn- forgot an ‘L’…”
Sep 18, 2008 at 9:54 am rating: +3
#18
Sheepish
The resident that is concerned about the paint is the most realistic one of all. Really, the buskers aren’t harming the building itself, it’s the ‘we’ person that lives in the building that is causing the most damage.
Sep 18, 2008 at 10:02 am rating: +2
#19
Goldie
They still have Woolworth’s? Ours closed ten years ago. I thought they’d gone out of business. No witty comments, as my mind has been scrambled by Woolworth’s return from the dead.
Sep 18, 2008 at 10:38 am rating: +2
#20
Canthz_B
He throws water on buskers and egg nog on carolers.
Sep 18, 2008 at 11:18 am rating: +2
#21
coo-coo cachoo
Hello Buskers my old friends.
So glad you’re playing here again.
My neighbors a bit of an anorak
He says you sound like a mating cat
But the music that you play soothes my brain
through window panes
It is the sound of Buskers.
Sep 18, 2008 at 11:22 am rating: +16
#22
secondsout
Long since become a bit of a joke, the Spice Girls are now resorting to busking. Who knew that Sporty Spice could play a mean cello? “Wannabe” just isn’t one of those songs that translates well in a symphonic version.
Sep 18, 2008 at 11:44 am rating: +2
#23
bobby
don’t buskers have to pay money to busk? seems as though if there’s no No Busking policy, then getting water thrown on them would just be harassment and the buskers could call the police.
Sep 18, 2008 at 12:41 pm rating: +1
#24
Frankie
If it can’t be Wikipedia, You Tubed, or Googled, can it still be Busked?
Sep 18, 2008 at 12:42 pm rating: +2
#25
Canthz_B
“Busking” sounds like something properly done in the nude.
Sep 18, 2008 at 1:20 pm rating: +3
#26
katrina
I’ve heard if you leave your buskers under the window, they can get sprayed with fecal matter from annoyed unwilling “patrons” of their art….
Sep 18, 2008 at 2:39 pm rating: 0
#27
Claire
I heard that Buskers will sneak into your flat and lower your A/C to 65, turn on all your lights, and then throw up on your welcome mat when they sneak out your front door.
Sep 18, 2008 at 3:24 pm rating: +2
#28
Claire
I think a key point to raise here is just how musically gifted is that cello player? I mean, a cello in the hands of an inept musican would be far worse a racket that a Buskers convention….
Sep 18, 2008 at 3:27 pm rating: 0
#29
Halley
I don’t know what the laws are in England, but in the US, in most cities, if you are on a public street during “public hours” (Usually around 6am to 10pm) calling the police will do nothing because it’s a public through-fare. Buskers/street performers have a lot of rights that not a lot of people know about. So keep calling the police, because eventually the police will stop answering your calls, ye who crys wolf.
And throwing water on the buskers? That’s ASSAULT. Technically the busker could press charges on you for loss of money from that day’s work, damage to their instrument/equipment, emotional strife, etc.
Sep 18, 2008 at 3:41 pm rating: +2
#30
Canthz_B
To the tune of “How much is that doggy in the window”:
I’m sick of the buskers by my window,
They sound like a dog’s plaintiff wail.
This note’s for the buskers by my window,
To tell them their talent’s a fail.
Sep 18, 2008 at 6:35 pm rating: +5
#31
Canthz_B
Is a busker with children a mother busker?
Sep 18, 2008 at 7:50 pm rating: +1
#32
Bellabeastie
Is a busker who lives in Nebraska a corn busker?
(sorry, meant to nest that)
Sep 18, 2008 at 8:24 pm rating: 0
#33
0falcon8
Oi! Take that racket somewhere else, ya motherbuskers!
Sep 18, 2008 at 10:21 pm rating: 0
#34
Heather
In communist Russia, buskers play you.
Sep 18, 2008 at 10:24 pm rating: +1
#35
chickenspittle
Buskers and noise lovers near Portobello Road need to band together like Melbourners did with the “If you move into Fitzroy and start making noise complaints you are a moron!” Facebook group and related website.
Sep 18, 2008 at 11:40 pm rating: +2
#36
LLL
What’s a busker?
Sep 20, 2008 at 1:01 pm rating: 0
#37
glastonberry
Very nice handwriting on the first sign, must be an artist or architect… But they were obviously so pissed they misspelled Please and had to insert the l afterward.
Sep 22, 2008 at 4:56 pm rating: 0
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