A sign (or ten) that your HR department might have too much time on their hands

September 21st, 2008 · 146 comments

The tenth-floor kitchen at this office has no fewer than ten of these painstakingly laminated, clip-art-covered notes — and our anonymous submitter says this kitchen is only the tip of the iceberg.

“Nearly all of the notes in our office receive the same attention to detail,” our submitter says. “Every time I come to work I have to remind myself that I’m not in a cartoon fairy-tale land of fun.”

Wanted: Refrigerator Bandit

but what about my strawberries and cream?

Mark your calendars

Watch Your Food

unattended popcorn will be given an espresso and a free puppy

no ping pong on the spaghetti with meatballs table

'mop and wet floor sign' sign

sink-side of kitchen

related: It takes a “genius” to come up with a potluck theme like this one

FILED UNDER: "helpful" advice · blitzkrieg approach · clip art catastrophe · gloriously redundant · microwave · office · office fridge · popcorn


146 responses so far ↓

  • #1   laurie ruettimann

    Oh come on, Kerry. That’s not fair. We both know that HR reps don’t know how to insert clip art onto MS documents.

    Sep 21, 2008 at 7:02 pm   rating: 16  small thumbs up

    • #1.1   Debo Hobo

      I wish our notes looked this good.

      Ours are yellowed with mega thumb tack marks from when they are hung removed and rehung when needed.

      Sep 25, 2008 at 11:40 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #2   Luv This site

    the problem with all these maniacal posters is overkill — it’s like nagging a teenager; after a while they don’t even hear you.

    Someone needs to explain the “less is more” concept – unless of course, this is at a daycare center.

    Sep 21, 2008 at 7:05 pm   rating: 9  small thumbs up

    • #2.1   Dawn

      I would still rather see these around the walls than the boring black and white with ‘beany’ people attached to them.

      Sep 21, 2008 at 8:05 pm   rating: 10  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.2   amazon bang

      We have a sign with that same exact pink trash can pointing towards his “mouth” in our kitchen as well. Trust me, the fact that it isn’t a screen bean doesn’t make it any more likable.

      Sep 22, 2008 at 1:48 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.3   spottedbuddy bang

      Is the Random capitalization Throughout the notes a form of Punishment and Torture for not following the Rules?

      Oct 28, 2009 at 12:18 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #3   snyder

    lol!!

    Sep 21, 2008 at 7:05 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #4   anglophile bang

    What happens to a dream (to be a graphic artist) deferred? Does it dry up like a raisin in the sun?

    Or does it explode?

    Sep 21, 2008 at 7:10 pm   rating: 171  small thumbs up

    • #4.1   Canthz_B bang

      I only regret that I have but one vote to give to this comment.

      Sep 21, 2008 at 7:45 pm   rating: 16  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.2   snee bang

      if it dried up like a raisin in the sun, it would be cleaned out of the fridge on friday at 4:oo.

      Sep 21, 2008 at 10:29 pm   rating: 108  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.3   Canthz_B bang

      &&&

      Sep 21, 2008 at 11:11 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.4   secretly Passive Aggresive

      Wait, it’s NOT one of the requirements for an HR position?

      Sep 22, 2008 at 9:26 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.5   secretly Passive Aggresive

      Wait, it’s NOT one of the requirements for an HR position?

      Sep 22, 2008 at 9:26 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.6   Ti O bang

      I think it crusts over like syrup, not so sweet
      and it stinks like rotted meat.

      festers and pulses like a zit out of reach.

      The dream to draw and create, erased.

      Sep 22, 2008 at 4:17 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.7   spottedbuddy bang

      I think it explodes like popcorn. So be sure to clean up the remnants of your tattered dream before you leave the break room.

      Oct 28, 2009 at 12:20 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #5   anglophile bang

    If the employees at this business need to be told via laminated, clip-arted signage that they should tell maintenance when the floor is wet, is there much hope for this company?

    Sep 21, 2008 at 7:12 pm   rating: 18  small thumbs up

    • #5.1   Canthz_B bang

      Lots of hope for the employees…if they’re into workers’ compensation checks! :evil:

      Sep 21, 2008 at 7:41 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #6   Canthz_B bang

    I think we know “how” someone took something from “a victims”, and I doubt that marking the items helped the victim more than the thief.
    Everyone knows who brings the good stuff!

    Sep 21, 2008 at 7:13 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

    • #6.1   Wade bang

      Be sure and “repport” that bit of news to HR or Facilities.

      Sep 21, 2008 at 7:57 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.2   Canthz_B bang

      Things have gone steadily downhill since Casey left HR. :-(

      Sep 21, 2008 at 8:05 pm   rating: 16  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.3   Miss Unloop

      Help take a bite outta intraoffice crime!

      Sep 21, 2008 at 9:01 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #7   anglophile bang

    I wish I worked at a place with a ping-pong table. It’s a fair exchange for the barrage of p/a notes.

    Sep 21, 2008 at 7:15 pm   rating: 28  small thumbs up

    • #7.1   snee bang

      yeah! think of all the food you could pile on one of those thin–um, nevermind.

      Sep 21, 2008 at 10:32 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.2   Juliet

      I can’t stop wondering why their tenth floor office has a ping pong table. And that it is used often enough that people leaving food on it is a problem.

      Passive aggression is common in the office environment. Ping pong tables, not so much.

      Sep 22, 2008 at 10:15 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #8   Canthz_B bang

    “We really don’t care what date is on your food…We have crap in there from 1986, but at least it’s dated!!”

    Sep 21, 2008 at 7:16 pm   rating: 27  small thumbs up

    • #8.1   AuntyBron

      And they guy whose name is on it was fired 2 years later.

      Sep 21, 2008 at 9:42 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #9   Canthz_B bang

    I always cover you food in the microwave.
    My problem is covering me food!

    Sep 21, 2008 at 7:19 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

     
  • #10   Canthz_B bang

    I could use a set of fire alarms, I only watch my food because of the Refrigerator Bandit.

    Sep 21, 2008 at 7:21 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #10.1   AuntyBron

      CB, There is apparently no problem with Microwave bandits.

      Sep 21, 2008 at 9:43 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #10.2   Canthz_B bang

      No, after that the goods are obviously too “hot”!

      Sep 21, 2008 at 9:50 pm   rating: 12  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #11   Delurker

    Actually, I do want to set off the fire alarms. It’s a great way of getting out of doing real work.

    Sep 21, 2008 at 7:21 pm   rating: 17  small thumbs up

    • #11.1   AuntyBron

      Where I work the fire alarms don’t work half of the time. We get overhead announcements 2-3 times a week that say, “the fire alarm system is temporarily out of service for testing and inspection….”

      Sep 21, 2008 at 9:46 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.2   clumber

      The Director’s Admin Asst. managed to set off the fire alarms in this bldg about a year ago by burning popcorn and leaving it unattended. (No clip art was installed either before or after the incident!) . On certain Fridays I buy her popcorn and ask her to please enjoy. By 3pm would be just awesome.

      The local FD took a nice long time searching the bldg and whatever else they get to do to retaliate for a burnt popcorn alarm dragging them away from their Wii or whathaveyou.

      Sep 23, 2008 at 1:43 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #12   zandor

    Wow. That’s a lot.

    Sep 21, 2008 at 7:21 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #13   Natalie

    I think I worked in this office once!

    Sep 21, 2008 at 7:22 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #14   Canthz_B bang

    Latest sign:

    Do not read all of these signs. You only have a one-half hour lunch break to find your food (if it’s still there), nuke it, clean up after it and scarf it down before you are expected back at your desks.
    Don’t even think about setting off a fire alarm to gain extra time, Facilities is watching your every move!!

    *insert giant eyeballs in binoculars clip-art here*

    Sep 21, 2008 at 7:28 pm   rating: 59  small thumbs up

     
  • #15   Canthz_B bang

    Can they at least eat Chinese food on the Ping Pong table? Why the total disregard for the Air Hockey crowd?

    Sep 21, 2008 at 7:36 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #15.1   Sydney

      The damned air hockey table keeps blowing my rice cakes away.

      Sep 21, 2008 at 8:31 pm   rating: 15  small thumbs up

       
    • #15.2   Canthz_B bang

      That’s not the table, the players think they’re the puck!

      Sep 21, 2008 at 8:44 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #16   Troy McClure bang

    That “janitor” is clearly a tap dancer.

    Sep 21, 2008 at 7:48 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

    • #16.1   Canthz_B bang

      LOL…unless he uses spring water he is, Troy. :lol:

      Sep 21, 2008 at 7:54 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #17   andymydear

    man, if you don’t read the ‘about’ preface at all, then you truly don’t expect all these signs to be in one kitchen, office, or even building; but then that last picture just puts it all in perspective.

    Sep 21, 2008 at 8:11 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #18   Canthz_B bang

    Can anyone enlarge the “Refrigerator Bandit”?
    Looks like he’s carrying Christmas gifts, but flicker won’t let me get a better look.
    Thanx.

    Sep 21, 2008 at 8:22 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #18.1   Sydney

      I dunno, I’m seeing a great big cheeseburger under his arm. He also has a deathgrip on some healthful strawberries.

      Sep 21, 2008 at 8:32 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #18.2   Canthz_B bang

      Okay, lettuce, not ribbon, strawberries(?) not holly.
      Pretty much works for me! :-)

      Sep 21, 2008 at 8:41 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #18.3   paige

      it does look like he is armed with fruit, watch yourself!

      Sep 21, 2008 at 8:56 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #18.4   Miss Unloop

      Which is why I always bring a tiger with me to the office – it not only disarms the bandit, but eats the fruit!

      Sep 21, 2008 at 9:04 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #18.5   Canthz_B bang

      Untraceable, unmarked fruit, at that, paige!!

      Sep 21, 2008 at 9:07 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #18.6   paige

      egads!

      Sep 21, 2008 at 11:45 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #18.7   spottedbuddy bang

      I enlarged it; it’s a giant hamburger. And it looks like cherries dangling down, but then there’s a disturbing red arrow pointing to them from his ass, so maybe you don’t want to know any more details then that.

      Oct 28, 2009 at 12:28 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #19   erin

    This reminds me of my entry level call center gig i had when i first joined my company.

    Who makes these signs and how much are you paying them to spend their work time doing so?

    “Last seen Stalking the lunchrooms for a victims!”

    That sentence alone would make me want to quit.

    Sep 21, 2008 at 8:23 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #19.1   Miss Unloop

      Totally! I mean, why can’t they trawl PAN or play online sudoku like everyone else?

      Sep 21, 2008 at 9:05 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #19.2   AuntyBron

      Yeah, it makes it sound like the thief is hiding behind the fridge, waiting for someone to come in to play air hockey with their rice cakes.

      Sep 21, 2008 at 9:51 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #19.3   Amy

      So that’s what they’re for!

      Sep 22, 2008 at 5:25 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #20   paige

    i dislike it intensely when people use irrational capitalization in the workplace. [of course, online it's fine...:)]

    also, come on HR…no spellcheck? and making
    signs for signs?

    you wouldn’t want to come across too strong now, would you?

    Sep 21, 2008 at 8:31 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #21   M

    You lost me at “ping pong table.” What was the issue again? O.o

    Sep 21, 2008 at 8:33 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #22   Canthz_B bang

    A little Video Professor is a dangerous thing.
    These skills were obtained viewing one late-night infomercial.

    Sep 21, 2008 at 8:59 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

     
  • #23   Miss Unloop

    Just what the heck is that character in the bottom left of the first note wearing the policeman hat and made out of arrows? Is it a representation of the Karma Police, cautioning us that what goes around comes around?

    Sep 21, 2008 at 9:08 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #23.1   Canthz_B bang

      Ree-sie-cul po-leez, we seez U.

      I suck at lolcat-speak, but I tried, damn-it!! :-)

      Sep 21, 2008 at 9:16 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #24   Canthz_B bang

    Margaret saw a need on the first day for signs in the kitchen. On the second day she composed without proof-reading, and it seemed good. Margaret added clip-art on the third day, and saw that it was good. She added a few more images on the fourth day, and knew that it was better. On the fifth day, Margaret posted her signs, and she felt good.
    On the sixth day, Margaret was fired, this was not good. Margaret rested on the seventh day and for many days to follow, it was for her own good.

    Sep 21, 2008 at 9:35 pm   rating: 15  small thumbs up

     
  • #25   0falcon8 bang

    the notorious Refrigerator Bandit skulks about the breakroom, casing the joint before he wreaks his specialized brand of havoc on his unsuspecting victims. his sweaty hand gripping his kiwi of death, he furtively glances around for any signs of the dreaded HR or Facilities Police. seeing none, he carefully skirts around the Wet Floor Sign, reaches past the sparkling-clean Microwave and carefully eases the Refrigerator door open. he spies a Tupperware container with what he believes is leftover lasagna inside
    “come to me, my sweet,” he murmurs and reaches forward to claim his prize. his hand freezes in mid-snatch as he spies a label on the lid-”Bob Krupsky 9/20″
    “damn,” the food bandit laments, “this has a name and date on it. it apparently is not up for grabs.”
    he gently shuts the door and blends back into the day. “your food is safe for now,” he thinks
    “but i am watching”

    Sep 21, 2008 at 9:44 pm   rating: 30  small thumbs up

    • #25.1   Canthz_B bang

      …”Mwahahahaha”, he chortles as he compulsively twists the end of his fiendish-looking mustache.

      Sep 21, 2008 at 9:58 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #26   azita

    wait – they have a ping pong table? this person does ” live in a cartoon fairly land of fun”

    ;)

    Sep 21, 2008 at 9:50 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #27   claw71 bang

    I’m confused by the first note and I hope somebody can help me out. How does somebody “stalk” an entire room? Is it really that hard? And what is the modus operandi of this Refrigerator Bandit? Does he disguise himself as a refrigerator or risk his life hiding in one in hopes of catching the lunchroom by surprise? Either way, there seems to be a Polish joke in here somewhere and I don’t like it.

    Sep 21, 2008 at 9:53 pm   rating: 12  small thumbs up

    • #27.1   AuntyBron

      The microwave, with the naivete of someone who lives a clean life, thought it was harmless. The refrigerator, with unnamed foods since it didn’t know when, called HR, who advised it to call in the Facilities Police.

      Sep 21, 2008 at 10:00 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #27.2   Canthz_B bang

      A Polish joke you don’t like, claw? Come now, you’re made of sterner stuff, my friend! Shoot for the stars! :-)

      Sep 21, 2008 at 10:01 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #27.3   claw71 bang

      The reason I hate Polish jokes, CB, is because Polacks are usually too stupid to be offended by them. I’ve tried and I always get blank stares followed by comments like “Hey, why don’t they put screen doors on submarines?” or “I wish I had six people to turn the table…I always get dizzy when I change the light bulbs by myself.”

      Sep 21, 2008 at 10:10 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #27.4   Canthz_B bang

      Yeah, I know, claw, I told a Black joke once and no one got it….

      What’s long and hard on a Black guy?………….

      First Grade!

      I should have told it to non-Blacks! :-P

      Sep 21, 2008 at 10:20 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #27.5   Joey

      Question: How many Poles does it take to rob an office fridge?

      Answer: 12. One to rob the fridge and the remaining 11 to write a ransom letter.

      Sep 28, 2008 at 6:01 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #28   AuntyBron

    The janitor in the 7th sign looks like a refugee from a Captain Morgan Rum commercial.

    Sep 21, 2008 at 9:54 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #28.1   Canthz_B bang

      Aye! We wipes up our own barf!
      That’s the Captain Morgan way!

      Sep 21, 2008 at 10:05 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #28.2   paige

      just make sure you put the mop and sign back where they belong after you wipe up, okay?

      or, better yet, contact facilities first and ask them (politely) to do their job and clean it up for you.

      Sep 21, 2008 at 11:33 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #29   0falcon8 bang

    shouldn’t the “wanted” poster be for the “food bandit”? it seems that a “refrigerator bandit” would go around stealing entire refrigerators…

    Sep 21, 2008 at 10:13 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #29.1   AuntyBron

      Not necessarily. sometimes criminals are know by the area they work rather than what they steal. The Hillside Stranglers operated on Hillside Drive. The I-5 killer preyed on people on Interstate 5. The Frito Bandido, the Hamburgler…

      Sep 21, 2008 at 10:43 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #30   aaa

    What is this bias that workplaces have against popcorn?

    Sep 21, 2008 at 10:30 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #31   Mishee bang

    I can’t imagine this is all clip art that came with Word.

    I assume she probably put in a purchase requisition for a clip art software, pushed it through to the procurement department, obtained approval, ordered it online, waited for the CD-ROM to arrive and then went to town!

    I can’t believe the requisition was approved.

    Sep 21, 2008 at 10:33 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #31.1   AuntyBron

      Unless it was a goverment office.

      Sep 21, 2008 at 10:45 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #31.2   paige

      in which case they might just be gearing up to have their own version of PAN soon…seeing as how the spies of our great nation are getting their own vamped up version of facebook.

      i would like some of that money back that i sent you last april, government. i placed a label and pen next to the breakroom fridge for your convenience. you know my address already, right?

      Sep 21, 2008 at 11:40 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #31.3   Major Catastrophe

      It’s HR.
      They can get just about anything approved, especially clip art CD’s since the only real purpose they serve in a company is making signs that annoy employees.

      May 5, 2009 at 4:53 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #32   Yoheimizrahi bang

    WE ARE TIRED OF THIS!!!!!

    Let it be known to all printer-laminater-clip-art users that we will no longer tolerate the MAD BOMBER.

    Our only solution to this is to make you sign out every page with your name on a sign out sheet. If this happens one more time, the Refrigerator Bandit will put a lock on all printers.

    If you know a better way to handle it, I’m all ears. We just want this to stop.

    Sep 21, 2008 at 10:43 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #32.1   Yoheimizrahi bang

      Cobbled together from what I could vaguely remember of the MAD BOMBER acts. Although I did cheat and go back to double check that I had gotten the header right.

      Eh. *shrug*

      Sep 21, 2008 at 10:44 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #33   fantasy bang

    All of these signs were done by the 7th grade computer class.

    This special project was arranged by the CEO of the company, his son needed a project for the class to do and his Dad just happened to be banging the teacher.

    Dad knew that Jr. was going to need a little help out of 7th grade if he was to follow in his Dad’s footsteps, those are awfully large shoes to fill.

    They all received A’s just because the project was thoroughly finished.

    So was the teacher!

    Sep 21, 2008 at 10:57 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

     
  • #34   Quite Contrary bang

    I strongly urge HR to use their calendars in Outlook to get an effin life. Or, at the very least, focus on some bigger issues.

    Sep 21, 2008 at 11:10 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #34.1   paige

      the facilities police appear to be in charge of the bigger issues already.

      Sep 21, 2008 at 11:43 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #34.2   aaa

      It’s physically impossible for the HR of any company to get any sort of life, effin or not. Because they are segregated from the rest of society as a caste of dirty freaks, they are relegated to nit-picking the most piddly-ass non-issues one can think of. It’s quite sad, really.

      Sep 22, 2008 at 3:23 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #35   Toopillow

    If only they put as much time and effort into the spelling and grammar as the layout of these signs. It’s actually fairly well done, which goes to show how far a degree in Graphic Design gets you.

    p.s. they really LAMINATED signs with all these spelling errors?!?

    Sep 21, 2008 at 11:13 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #36   Heather

    Do you suppose there’s a market for those signs on eBay?

    Sep 21, 2008 at 11:26 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #37   Canthz_B bang

    I don’t want to switch cubicles,
    You keep the office butter knife,
    But there a fridge bandit when break time comes ’round,
    And the signs I post should make it all right.
    *the signs he posts should make it all right*

    Sep 21, 2008 at 11:33 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #37.1   Canthz_B bang

      I thought the song would come to me within the edit time, but, alas, it did not.
      Someone here knows it though.

      I’m not talkin’ ’bout movin’ in,
      And I don’t want to change your life,
      But there’s a strong wind blowin’ the stars around,
      And I’d really like to see you tonight.

      Someone please help me!
      Sure hope I have not committed one of those “But I always thought the words were…” sins, but I wouldn’t be surprised if I have.

      Sep 22, 2008 at 1:10 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #38   Saysh bang

    I’d Really Love to See You Tonight
    England Dan & John Ford Coley

    Hello, yeah, it’s been a while.
    Not much, how ’bout you?
    I’m not sure why I called,
    I guess I really just wanted to talk to you.
    And I was thinking maybe later on,
    We could get together for a while.
    It’s been such a long time,
    And I really do miss your smile.

    I’m not talking ’bout moving in,
    And I don’t want to change your life.
    But there’s a warm wind blowing,
    The stars are out, and I’d really love to see you tonight.

    We could go walking through a windy park,
    Or take a drive along the beach.
    Or stay at home and watch t.v.
    You see, it really doesn’t matter much to me.

    I’m not talking ’bout moving in,
    And I don’t want to change your life.
    But there’s a warm wind blowing,
    The stars are out, and I’d really love to see you tonight.

    I won’t ask for promises,
    So you won’t have to lie.
    We’ve both played that game before,
    Say I love you, then say goodbye.

    I’m not talking ’bout moving in,
    And I don’t want to change your life.
    But there’s a warm wind blowing,
    The stars are out, and I’d really love to see you tonight.

    Sep 22, 2008 at 1:24 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #38.1   Saysh bang

      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=biKcsZ8MaUw

      Sep 22, 2008 at 1:27 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #38.2   Canthz_B bang

      Thanks, Sweetheart of mine…I knew I always heard that wrong. (the reason I NEVER sing out loud).
      I’m better with Funkadelic lyrics! LOL ;-)

      Sep 22, 2008 at 1:30 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #38.3   Canthz_B bang

      LOL…even knowing the correct words, it still sounds like “…warm wind blowing the stars around…” to my ear! LOL And that doesn’t even make good sense! ROTFLMAO

      Sep 22, 2008 at 1:41 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #38.4   Saysh bang

      I KNOW! And I always always thought it said “I’m not talkin’ bout the linen” which made even LESS sense..

      And you are most welcome my dear! :-*

      I am a font of useless information…

      Sep 22, 2008 at 2:02 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #38.5   snee bang

      i REFUSE to believe it.

      the warm wind IS blowing the stars around! it just has to be!

      Sep 22, 2008 at 2:50 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #38.6   Canthz_B bang

      Okay…so we will PANtastically change the words to:
      I’m not talkin’ ’bout the linen,
      And I don’t want to change your life.
      There’s a warm wind blowing the stars around,
      And I’d really love to see you tonight.”

      © PAN (CB, snee & Saysh) 2008

      Sep 22, 2008 at 4:43 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #39   Saysh bang

    Sorry.. I mean to nest that!!

    *don’t hit me Mishee!!*

    Sep 22, 2008 at 1:28 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #40   aaa

    Yes, yes I do want to set off the fire alarms.

    Why do the middle management types always ask the questions with the most obvious answers?

    Sep 22, 2008 at 3:26 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #40.1   Bellabeastie

      Well, the flaming microwave should do the trick!

      Sep 22, 2008 at 3:34 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #41   K

    Aren’t all offices like that? Mine is. Also, in a company of mostly engineers, as you’d expect, there’s always postits with clever retorts on the signs.

    I also hate it when HR signs says things like “We” when you know they’re really accusing everyone outside of HR.

    Sep 22, 2008 at 3:55 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #42   Amy

    I suggest the HR department take the money they’re paying this person during the many hours s/he spends on clip art co-worker control and send (oh, who am I kidding–the whole thing reeks of femininity like Chanel No. 5; let’s just be honest and say “her”) her to remedial grammar classes.

    Sep 22, 2008 at 5:24 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #43   Lex Luther

    I lay awake at night fearful that the refrigerator bandit’s going to steal my Findus Crispy Pancakes, so I think these notes are perfectly valid.

    He’s probably not so frightening when you get to know him though.

    Sep 22, 2008 at 5:41 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #44   Woman on the Verge

    With the painful state of the economy, this is a dreadful waste of ink, paper and laminate. Do you know how much that shit costs? I got questioned last week when I tried to laminate something… okay, so it was a clipart-laden ode to microwave popcorn burning, but still….

    Sep 22, 2008 at 7:46 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #45   creamy

    I really like that the note writer made the effort to offer practical memory jogging strategies. I just wish they’d gone further… “use a pen and write a note on the back of your hand to remember not to cook popcorn”, or “ask a colleague to remind you not to eat on the ping pong table” or maybe “attach a post-it to your head to remind yourself not to waste any more of your life here”

    Sep 22, 2008 at 7:46 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

     
  • #46   aliastaken

    I have to admit that the mention of a ping-pong table convinced me that it really is a cartoon fairy-tale land of fun.

    Sep 22, 2008 at 8:17 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #47   claw71 bang

    My policy on free range lunches is virtually legendary here in the PAN-iverse. Most people seem to agree with me that food left in office refrigerators after 12:45 automatically become community property and are available to be claimed by anybody. There are a few people who whine about taking late lunches or getting stuck on calls but Darwin didn’t make exceptions for busy species and neither do I.

    That being said, I am a reasonable man. While I have no respect for labels that indicate who the food belongs to and/or when it was stored I could envision myself respecting a name and an “eat-by” time. I believe that this is a reasonable compromise and, while I still subscribe to the idea that lunches should be consumed between noon and 12:30, I am willing to honor an estimated time of consumption.

    So if I find myself perusing the frozen dinners in the office fridge and find a bag full of delicious pizza rolls that are labeled “Mike P. 1:30″ I’ll know that Mike was planning on eating those pizza rolls by 1:30 and I’ll settle on Marcia’s hot pocket. Sure, I’ll check back in at 1:30 and if Mike has not started preparing his pizza rolls I’ll claim them for myself, but Iwilll respect his desire to eat a late lunch if he indicates his intentions on the package.

    Of course people will try to abuse my good nature and they’ll simply post date their food. I could see clever office mates trying to ward me off by indicating a desire to eat a food item a week or two in advance. That will not work. It is my firm belief that the office refrigerator is a daily storage device. Food placed in the refrigerator on Monday should be consumed on Monday. I will not, under any circumstances, honor dates. There are limits to my good nature.

    Sep 22, 2008 at 8:59 am   rating: 9  small thumbs up

     
  • #48   Lurker

    I used to be in charge of the office breakroom. Signs. Do. Not. Work.

    People are either neat or slobs. The neat people will feel insulted by the sogns and the slobs will ignore them.

    At one time we used to use the money from the bottle/can recycling bin for the office party, but we had to start just throwing the whole mess away because it was too filthy to take to the recycling center.

    Sep 22, 2008 at 9:12 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #49   Goldie

    WTF do they mean I don’t want to set off the fire alarm? Of course I do! Think about it, you get to go outside and stand there for a good part of the hour, chatting with your office mates… beats working, doesn’t it?

    Sep 22, 2008 at 9:28 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #49.1   Mishee bang

      You’ve obviously never had a fire alarm go off in the winter while living in Portland, OR, now have you?

      Yeah, standing in the bitter cold, rain, and wind is loads of fun…

      Sep 22, 2008 at 9:34 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #49.2   aaa

      Might not be loads of fun, but we can all take satisfaction of the suffering of that ass-kissing work rival we hate. That dick.

      Sep 22, 2008 at 9:53 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #50   Becky

    The first one makes me think of that part of Margaret Cho’s routine about the difference between gay and straight personal ads: “Wanted: ass bandit.”

    Sep 22, 2008 at 3:58 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #51   vitaminC

    Ok, here is my first attempt at this.
    Sung to the tune, if that is possible, of Karma Chameleon.
    ___________________

    Could not believe my eyes the other day
    So I laminated signs just to say
    I’m a man without confections
    I’m a man whose hunger grows
    When a bandit swipes Hot Pockets
    You’ve got to go
    You’ve got to go

    Karma karma karma karma karma cafeterian
    You’ve got to go
    You’ve got to go
    Luncheon would be easy if your colors were like my dreams
    No clip art beans
    No clip art beans

    Did I see your microwave splatter eh?
    And that puddle on the floor from down your leg
    Can’t you just put up some signage?
    Can’t you just watch popcorn?
    When you go it burns forever
    The fire alarm
    The fire alarm

    Karma karma karma karma karma cafeterian
    You’ve got to go
    You’ve got to go
    Luncheon would be easy if your colors were like my dreams
    No clip art beans
    No clip art beans

    Every day is a tutorial
    With my clip art pictorials
    Every day is a tutorial
    With my clip art pictorials

    I’m a man without confections
    I’m a man whose hunger grows
    When a bandit swipes Hot Pockets
    You’ve got to go
    You’ve got to go

    Sep 22, 2008 at 4:18 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

     
  • #52   Chonny

    And on the 7th day the Lord said, let there be Passive Aggression. LOTS of it.

    Sep 22, 2008 at 4:28 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #53   glastonberry

    I think the members of the Five Man Electrical Band must have worked in an office:

    Sign Sign everywhere a sign
    Blocking out the scenery breaking my mind
    Do this, don’t do that, can’t you read the sign

    Sep 22, 2008 at 4:30 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

     
  • #54   anonymous

    My favorites to date have been on the water machines:
    “Do not pour anything down this drain” (people put lemons, straws, chewing gum, etc in the drain of these poor machines..)

    “This machine has been sanitized just for you!”
    (this sign stayed posted for about 7 weeks. I doubt they sanitized it between each and every use.)

    Sep 23, 2008 at 8:38 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #55   Lildonbro

    Not to be picky, but if so much attention was given to detail why does the refrigerator bandit say “someone how” rather than “someone who” and one of the microwave signs says, “set OF the fire alarm” oh and don’t forget “YOU food”.

    I’m just being a brat today because it’s raining outside.

    Sep 25, 2008 at 2:39 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #56   thebis4uknow

    Man! I want a ping pong table in my office!
    P.S. For all the time people spent putting these together, you’d think they’d have enough time to learn how to spell…

    Sep 26, 2008 at 2:12 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #57   Down10

    “Use your calendar in Outlook to remind yourself to take your stuff home on Friday.”

    While I have Outlook open, I think I’ll send you a reminder to go fuck yourself.

    Oct 6, 2008 at 9:40 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #58   dk smith

    this is one of the lamer postings i’ve seen on passiveaggressivenotes… the fridge needs cleaned. who cares…

    Oct 14, 2008 at 11:38 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #59   THX SANDRA

    THE AUTHOR OF THESE NOTES IS MY HERO!

    THX, SANDRA

    Oct 20, 2008 at 5:14 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
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  • #67   RoBeast Rollie

    As a facilities worker in a building of over 400, I have to defend these signs. If employees stopped acting like they were in Kindergarten, maybe we could graduate past posting cartoons to convey information.

    Dec 30, 2008 at 10:15 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
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  • #69   PM Hut

    The one about using the “Calendar in your outlook” to remind yourself for the fridge cleaning day is interesting…

    Feb 4, 2009 at 11:21 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #70   T_DAWG

    They should have put a bulletin on the Microwave, you should have seen the inside, until one day an Angel from God cleaned them out.

    Mar 19, 2009 at 4:39 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #71   the more the messier

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  • #74   Aphasia23 bang

    I’m totally amused by the fact that the refrigerator bandit looks like an escaped convict from the 1920s; but I’m perplexed by something. If he’s armed with fruit why does he have a delicious hamburger tucked under his arm?
    And maybe I would like to set off the fire alarms… What do you think about that HR???

    Jun 23, 2009 at 12:04 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #75   autoauctions

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    Sep 9, 2009 at 11:54 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #76   TrofDieroit

    Keep working ,great job!

    Sep 27, 2009 at 8:12 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #77   TrofDieroit

    I think you made some good points in your post.

    Sep 27, 2009 at 8:43 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #78   you gotta hand it to HR…

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  • #79   Sara

    I work in HR, and that’s not HR, that’s a very bored executive assistant.

    Oct 30, 2009 at 7:38 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     

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