The tenth-floor kitchen at this office has no fewer than ten of these painstakingly laminated, clip-art-covered notes — and our anonymous submitter says this kitchen is only the tip of the iceberg.
“Nearly all of the notes in our office receive the same attention to detail,” our submitter says. “Every time I come to work I have to remind myself that I’m not in a cartoon fairy-tale land of fun.”
related: It takes a “genius” to come up with a potluck theme like this one
146 responses so far ↓
#1
laurie ruettimann
Oh come on, Kerry. That’s not fair. We both know that HR reps don’t know how to insert clip art onto MS documents.
Sep 21, 2008 at 7:02 pm rating: 16
#2
Luv This site
the problem with all these maniacal posters is overkill — it’s like nagging a teenager; after a while they don’t even hear you.
Someone needs to explain the “less is more” concept – unless of course, this is at a daycare center.
Sep 21, 2008 at 7:05 pm rating: 9
#3
snyder
lol!!
Sep 21, 2008 at 7:05 pm rating: 0
#4
anglophile
What happens to a dream (to be a graphic artist) deferred? Does it dry up like a raisin in the sun?
Or does it explode?
Sep 21, 2008 at 7:10 pm rating: 169
#5
anglophile
If the employees at this business need to be told via laminated, clip-arted signage that they should tell maintenance when the floor is wet, is there much hope for this company?
Sep 21, 2008 at 7:12 pm rating: 17
#6
Canthz_B
I think we know “how” someone took something from “a victims”, and I doubt that marking the items helped the victim more than the thief.
Everyone knows who brings the good stuff!
Sep 21, 2008 at 7:13 pm rating: 8
#7
anglophile
I wish I worked at a place with a ping-pong table. It’s a fair exchange for the barrage of p/a notes.
Sep 21, 2008 at 7:15 pm rating: 27
#8
Canthz_B
“We really don’t care what date is on your food…We have crap in there from 1986, but at least it’s dated!!”
Sep 21, 2008 at 7:16 pm rating: 27
#9
Canthz_B
I always cover you food in the microwave.
My problem is covering me food!
Sep 21, 2008 at 7:19 pm rating: 5
#10
Canthz_B
I could use a set of fire alarms, I only watch my food because of the Refrigerator Bandit.
Sep 21, 2008 at 7:21 pm rating: 2
#11
Delurker
Actually, I do want to set off the fire alarms. It’s a great way of getting out of doing real work.
Sep 21, 2008 at 7:21 pm rating: 17
#12
zandor
Wow. That’s a lot.
Sep 21, 2008 at 7:21 pm rating: 0
#13
Natalie
I think I worked in this office once!
Sep 21, 2008 at 7:22 pm rating: 0
#14
Canthz_B
Latest sign:
Do not read all of these signs. You only have a one-half hour lunch break to find your food (if it’s still there), nuke it, clean up after it and scarf it down before you are expected back at your desks.
Don’t even think about setting off a fire alarm to gain extra time, Facilities is watching your every move!!
*insert giant eyeballs in binoculars clip-art here*
Sep 21, 2008 at 7:28 pm rating: 59
#15
Canthz_B
Can they at least eat Chinese food on the Ping Pong table? Why the total disregard for the Air Hockey crowd?
Sep 21, 2008 at 7:36 pm rating: 4
#16
Troy McClure
That “janitor” is clearly a tap dancer.
Sep 21, 2008 at 7:48 pm rating: 5
#17
andymydear
man, if you don’t read the ‘about’ preface at all, then you truly don’t expect all these signs to be in one kitchen, office, or even building; but then that last picture just puts it all in perspective.
Sep 21, 2008 at 8:11 pm rating: 2
#18
Canthz_B
Can anyone enlarge the “Refrigerator Bandit”?
Looks like he’s carrying Christmas gifts, but flicker won’t let me get a better look.
Thanx.
Sep 21, 2008 at 8:22 pm rating: 0
#19
erin
This reminds me of my entry level call center gig i had when i first joined my company.
Who makes these signs and how much are you paying them to spend their work time doing so?
“Last seen Stalking the lunchrooms for a victims!”
That sentence alone would make me want to quit.
Sep 21, 2008 at 8:23 pm rating: 3
#20
paige
i dislike it intensely when people use irrational capitalization in the workplace. [of course, online it's fine...:)]
also, come on HR…no spellcheck? and making
signs for signs?
you wouldn’t want to come across too strong now, would you?
Sep 21, 2008 at 8:31 pm rating: 2
#21
M
You lost me at “ping pong table.” What was the issue again? O.o
Sep 21, 2008 at 8:33 pm rating: 0
#22
Canthz_B
A little Video Professor is a dangerous thing.
These skills were obtained viewing one late-night infomercial.
Sep 21, 2008 at 8:59 pm rating: 5
#23
Miss Unloop
Just what the heck is that character in the bottom left of the first note wearing the policeman hat and made out of arrows? Is it a representation of the Karma Police, cautioning us that what goes around comes around?
Sep 21, 2008 at 9:08 pm rating: 0
#24
Canthz_B
Margaret saw a need on the first day for signs in the kitchen. On the second day she composed without proof-reading, and it seemed good. Margaret added clip-art on the third day, and saw that it was good. She added a few more images on the fourth day, and knew that it was better. On the fifth day, Margaret posted her signs, and she felt good.
On the sixth day, Margaret was fired, this was not good. Margaret rested on the seventh day and for many days to follow, it was for her own good.
Sep 21, 2008 at 9:35 pm rating: 15
#25
0falcon8
the notorious Refrigerator Bandit skulks about the breakroom, casing the joint before he wreaks his specialized brand of havoc on his unsuspecting victims. his sweaty hand gripping his kiwi of death, he furtively glances around for any signs of the dreaded HR or Facilities Police. seeing none, he carefully skirts around the Wet Floor Sign, reaches past the sparkling-clean Microwave and carefully eases the Refrigerator door open. he spies a Tupperware container with what he believes is leftover lasagna inside
“come to me, my sweet,” he murmurs and reaches forward to claim his prize. his hand freezes in mid-snatch as he spies a label on the lid-”Bob Krupsky 9/20″
“damn,” the food bandit laments, “this has a name and date on it. it apparently is not up for grabs.”
he gently shuts the door and blends back into the day. “your food is safe for now,” he thinks
“but i am watching”
Sep 21, 2008 at 9:44 pm rating: 29
#26
azita
wait – they have a ping pong table? this person does ” live in a cartoon fairly land of fun”
Sep 21, 2008 at 9:50 pm rating: 3
#27
claw71
I’m confused by the first note and I hope somebody can help me out. How does somebody “stalk” an entire room? Is it really that hard? And what is the modus operandi of this Refrigerator Bandit? Does he disguise himself as a refrigerator or risk his life hiding in one in hopes of catching the lunchroom by surprise? Either way, there seems to be a Polish joke in here somewhere and I don’t like it.
Sep 21, 2008 at 9:53 pm rating: 12
#28
AuntyBron
The janitor in the 7th sign looks like a refugee from a Captain Morgan Rum commercial.
Sep 21, 2008 at 9:54 pm rating: 1
#29
0falcon8
shouldn’t the “wanted” poster be for the “food bandit”? it seems that a “refrigerator bandit” would go around stealing entire refrigerators…
Sep 21, 2008 at 10:13 pm rating: 3
#30
aaa
What is this bias that workplaces have against popcorn?
Sep 21, 2008 at 10:30 pm rating: 1
#31
Mishee
I can’t imagine this is all clip art that came with Word.
I assume she probably put in a purchase requisition for a clip art software, pushed it through to the procurement department, obtained approval, ordered it online, waited for the CD-ROM to arrive and then went to town!
I can’t believe the requisition was approved.
Sep 21, 2008 at 10:33 pm rating: 3
#32
Yoheimizrahi
WE ARE TIRED OF THIS!!!!!
Let it be known to all printer-laminater-clip-art users that we will no longer tolerate the MAD BOMBER.
Our only solution to this is to make you sign out every page with your name on a sign out sheet. If this happens one more time, the Refrigerator Bandit will put a lock on all printers.
If you know a better way to handle it, I’m all ears. We just want this to stop.
Sep 21, 2008 at 10:43 pm rating: 3
#33
fantasy
All of these signs were done by the 7th grade computer class.
This special project was arranged by the CEO of the company, his son needed a project for the class to do and his Dad just happened to be banging the teacher.
Dad knew that Jr. was going to need a little help out of 7th grade if he was to follow in his Dad’s footsteps, those are awfully large shoes to fill.
They all received A’s just because the project was thoroughly finished.
So was the teacher!
Sep 21, 2008 at 10:57 pm rating: 4
#34
Quite Contrary
I strongly urge HR to use their calendars in Outlook to get an effin life. Or, at the very least, focus on some bigger issues.
Sep 21, 2008 at 11:10 pm rating: 2
#35
Toopillow
If only they put as much time and effort into the spelling and grammar as the layout of these signs. It’s actually fairly well done, which goes to show how far a degree in Graphic Design gets you.
p.s. they really LAMINATED signs with all these spelling errors?!?
Sep 21, 2008 at 11:13 pm rating: 1
#36
Heather
Do you suppose there’s a market for those signs on eBay?
Sep 21, 2008 at 11:26 pm rating: 0
#37
Canthz_B
I don’t want to switch cubicles,
You keep the office butter knife,
But there a fridge bandit when break time comes ’round,
And the signs I post should make it all right.
*the signs he posts should make it all right*
Sep 21, 2008 at 11:33 pm rating: 0
#38
Saysh
I’d Really Love to See You Tonight
England Dan & John Ford Coley
Hello, yeah, it’s been a while.
Not much, how ’bout you?
I’m not sure why I called,
I guess I really just wanted to talk to you.
And I was thinking maybe later on,
We could get together for a while.
It’s been such a long time,
And I really do miss your smile.
I’m not talking ’bout moving in,
And I don’t want to change your life.
But there’s a warm wind blowing,
The stars are out, and I’d really love to see you tonight.
We could go walking through a windy park,
Or take a drive along the beach.
Or stay at home and watch t.v.
You see, it really doesn’t matter much to me.
I’m not talking ’bout moving in,
And I don’t want to change your life.
But there’s a warm wind blowing,
The stars are out, and I’d really love to see you tonight.
I won’t ask for promises,
So you won’t have to lie.
We’ve both played that game before,
Say I love you, then say goodbye.
I’m not talking ’bout moving in,
And I don’t want to change your life.
But there’s a warm wind blowing,
The stars are out, and I’d really love to see you tonight.
Sep 22, 2008 at 1:24 am rating: 1
#39
Saysh
Sorry.. I mean to nest that!!
*don’t hit me Mishee!!*
Sep 22, 2008 at 1:28 am rating: 0
#40
aaa
Yes, yes I do want to set off the fire alarms.
Why do the middle management types always ask the questions with the most obvious answers?
Sep 22, 2008 at 3:26 am rating: 2
#41
K
Aren’t all offices like that? Mine is. Also, in a company of mostly engineers, as you’d expect, there’s always postits with clever retorts on the signs.
I also hate it when HR signs says things like “We” when you know they’re really accusing everyone outside of HR.
Sep 22, 2008 at 3:55 am rating: 1
#42
Amy
I suggest the HR department take the money they’re paying this person during the many hours s/he spends on clip art co-worker control and send (oh, who am I kidding–the whole thing reeks of femininity like Chanel No. 5; let’s just be honest and say “her”) her to remedial grammar classes.
Sep 22, 2008 at 5:24 am rating: 2
#43
Lex Luther
I lay awake at night fearful that the refrigerator bandit’s going to steal my Findus Crispy Pancakes, so I think these notes are perfectly valid.
He’s probably not so frightening when you get to know him though.
Sep 22, 2008 at 5:41 am rating: 2
#44
Woman on the Verge
With the painful state of the economy, this is a dreadful waste of ink, paper and laminate. Do you know how much that shit costs? I got questioned last week when I tried to laminate something… okay, so it was a clipart-laden ode to microwave popcorn burning, but still….
Sep 22, 2008 at 7:46 am rating: 1
#45
creamy
I really like that the note writer made the effort to offer practical memory jogging strategies. I just wish they’d gone further… “use a pen and write a note on the back of your hand to remember not to cook popcorn”, or “ask a colleague to remind you not to eat on the ping pong table” or maybe “attach a post-it to your head to remind yourself not to waste any more of your life here”
Sep 22, 2008 at 7:46 am rating: 6
#46
aliastaken
I have to admit that the mention of a ping-pong table convinced me that it really is a cartoon fairy-tale land of fun.
Sep 22, 2008 at 8:17 am rating: 0
#47
claw71
My policy on free range lunches is virtually legendary here in the PAN-iverse. Most people seem to agree with me that food left in office refrigerators after 12:45 automatically become community property and are available to be claimed by anybody. There are a few people who whine about taking late lunches or getting stuck on calls but Darwin didn’t make exceptions for busy species and neither do I.
That being said, I am a reasonable man. While I have no respect for labels that indicate who the food belongs to and/or when it was stored I could envision myself respecting a name and an “eat-by” time. I believe that this is a reasonable compromise and, while I still subscribe to the idea that lunches should be consumed between noon and 12:30, I am willing to honor an estimated time of consumption.
So if I find myself perusing the frozen dinners in the office fridge and find a bag full of delicious pizza rolls that are labeled “Mike P. 1:30″ I’ll know that Mike was planning on eating those pizza rolls by 1:30 and I’ll settle on Marcia’s hot pocket. Sure, I’ll check back in at 1:30 and if Mike has not started preparing his pizza rolls I’ll claim them for myself, but Iwilll respect his desire to eat a late lunch if he indicates his intentions on the package.
Of course people will try to abuse my good nature and they’ll simply post date their food. I could see clever office mates trying to ward me off by indicating a desire to eat a food item a week or two in advance. That will not work. It is my firm belief that the office refrigerator is a daily storage device. Food placed in the refrigerator on Monday should be consumed on Monday. I will not, under any circumstances, honor dates. There are limits to my good nature.
Sep 22, 2008 at 8:59 am rating: 9
#48
Lurker
I used to be in charge of the office breakroom. Signs. Do. Not. Work.
People are either neat or slobs. The neat people will feel insulted by the sogns and the slobs will ignore them.
At one time we used to use the money from the bottle/can recycling bin for the office party, but we had to start just throwing the whole mess away because it was too filthy to take to the recycling center.
Sep 22, 2008 at 9:12 am rating: 3
#49
Goldie
WTF do they mean I don’t want to set off the fire alarm? Of course I do! Think about it, you get to go outside and stand there for a good part of the hour, chatting with your office mates… beats working, doesn’t it?
Sep 22, 2008 at 9:28 am rating: 2
#50
Becky
The first one makes me think of that part of Margaret Cho’s routine about the difference between gay and straight personal ads: “Wanted: ass bandit.”
Sep 22, 2008 at 3:58 pm rating: 2
#51
vitaminC
Ok, here is my first attempt at this.
Sung to the tune, if that is possible, of Karma Chameleon.
___________________
Could not believe my eyes the other day
So I laminated signs just to say
I’m a man without confections
I’m a man whose hunger grows
When a bandit swipes Hot Pockets
You’ve got to go
You’ve got to go
Karma karma karma karma karma cafeterian
You’ve got to go
You’ve got to go
Luncheon would be easy if your colors were like my dreams
No clip art beans
No clip art beans
Did I see your microwave splatter eh?
And that puddle on the floor from down your leg
Can’t you just put up some signage?
Can’t you just watch popcorn?
When you go it burns forever
The fire alarm
The fire alarm
Karma karma karma karma karma cafeterian
You’ve got to go
You’ve got to go
Luncheon would be easy if your colors were like my dreams
No clip art beans
No clip art beans
Every day is a tutorial
With my clip art pictorials
Every day is a tutorial
With my clip art pictorials
I’m a man without confections
I’m a man whose hunger grows
When a bandit swipes Hot Pockets
You’ve got to go
You’ve got to go
Sep 22, 2008 at 4:18 pm rating: 6
#52
Chonny
And on the 7th day the Lord said, let there be Passive Aggression. LOTS of it.
Sep 22, 2008 at 4:28 pm rating: 2
#53
glastonberry
I think the members of the Five Man Electrical Band must have worked in an office:
Sign Sign everywhere a sign
Blocking out the scenery breaking my mind
Do this, don’t do that, can’t you read the sign
Sep 22, 2008 at 4:30 pm rating: 3
#54
anonymous
My favorites to date have been on the water machines:
“Do not pour anything down this drain” (people put lemons, straws, chewing gum, etc in the drain of these poor machines..)
“This machine has been sanitized just for you!”
(this sign stayed posted for about 7 weeks. I doubt they sanitized it between each and every use.)
Sep 23, 2008 at 8:38 pm rating: 0
#55
Lildonbro
Not to be picky, but if so much attention was given to detail why does the refrigerator bandit say “someone how” rather than “someone who” and one of the microwave signs says, “set OF the fire alarm” oh and don’t forget “YOU food”.
I’m just being a brat today because it’s raining outside.
Sep 25, 2008 at 2:39 pm rating: 0
#56
thebis4uknow
Man! I want a ping pong table in my office!
P.S. For all the time people spent putting these together, you’d think they’d have enough time to learn how to spell…
Sep 26, 2008 at 2:12 pm rating: 0
#57
Down10
“Use your calendar in Outlook to remind yourself to take your stuff home on Friday.”
While I have Outlook open, I think I’ll send you a reminder to go fuck yourself.
Oct 6, 2008 at 9:40 pm rating: 1
#58
dk smith
this is one of the lamer postings i’ve seen on passiveaggressivenotes… the fridge needs cleaned. who cares…
Oct 14, 2008 at 11:38 am rating: 0
#59
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THE AUTHOR OF THESE NOTES IS MY HERO!
THX, SANDRA
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#67
RoBeast Rollie
As a facilities worker in a building of over 400, I have to defend these signs. If employees stopped acting like they were in Kindergarten, maybe we could graduate past posting cartoons to convey information.
Dec 30, 2008 at 10:15 am rating: 0
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#69
PM Hut
The one about using the “Calendar in your outlook” to remind yourself for the fridge cleaning day is interesting…
Feb 4, 2009 at 11:21 am rating: 0
#70
T_DAWG
They should have put a bulletin on the Microwave, you should have seen the inside, until one day an Angel from God cleaned them out.
Mar 19, 2009 at 4:39 pm rating: 0
#71 the more the messier
[...] related: a sign (or ten) that your hr department might have too much time on their hands [...]
Apr 30, 2009 at 12:05 am rating: 0
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novemberlo
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May 12, 2009 at 12:27 pm rating: 0
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radburnbas
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#74
Aphasia23
I’m totally amused by the fact that the refrigerator bandit looks like an escaped convict from the 1920s; but I’m perplexed by something. If he’s armed with fruit why does he have a delicious hamburger tucked under his arm?
And maybe I would like to set off the fire alarms… What do you think about that HR???
Jun 23, 2009 at 12:04 pm rating: 0
#75
autoauctions
I don’t usually reply to posts but I will in this case. WoW
Sep 9, 2009 at 11:54 am rating: 0
#76
TrofDieroit
Keep working ,great job!
Sep 27, 2009 at 8:12 am rating: 0
#77
TrofDieroit
I think you made some good points in your post.
Sep 27, 2009 at 8:43 am rating: 0
#78 you gotta hand it to HR…
[...] related: a sign (or ten) that your HR department might have too much time on their hands [...]
Oct 26, 2009 at 9:11 pm rating: 0
#79
Sara
I work in HR, and that’s not HR, that’s a very bored executive assistant.
Oct 30, 2009 at 7:38 pm rating: 0
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