“the screen door to our block of flats is broken,” says our anonymous submitter in australia, “which has provoked some rather unique responses from my fellow residents.”
related: but who’s counting?
everyone: shut it.
September 22nd, 2008 · 88 comments
FILED UNDER: australia · elevator · jesus · opening/closing · saga
88 responses so far ↓
#1
Dare
Yours in Passive Agressive Jesus Prayer!
Sep 22, 2008 at 9:59 am rating: +8
#2
claw71
If you think these notes are long, you should see the messages I post around my building.
Sep 22, 2008 at 10:02 am rating: 0
#3
aaa
I can’t tell if that last sign talking about Jesus is being facetious or not. :c
Sep 22, 2008 at 10:03 am rating: +6
#4
GhostWriter
I don’t remember Jesus preaching, “Look beyond the sliding door.” I think that was Morpheus.
Sep 22, 2008 at 10:07 am rating: +15
#5
zchamu
Leaving the door open makes baby Jesus cry.
Sep 22, 2008 at 10:16 am rating: +10
#6
cm
Why look beyond the sliding glass door to love each other when you could just look through it?
Sep 22, 2008 at 10:21 am rating: +7
#7
Wade
If you are relying on a screen door for security, passive aggressive notes are the least of your worries.
Sep 22, 2008 at 10:22 am rating: +45
#8
Captain Dick
But I thought Jesus WAS born in a barn…
Wouldn’t he want the door open?
Sep 22, 2008 at 10:49 am rating: +23
#9
Mishee
Jesus H. Christ, those notes piss me off!!
Not much I can do about it though.
Except leave a note.
Sep 22, 2008 at 11:00 am rating: +8
#10
Sheepish
sometimes love is not the solution to the problem.
it is not by faith alone that doors are fixed.
maybe they should pray for the repair man to come and fix the door.
and by pray i mean call him and ask him to fix it.
Sep 22, 2008 at 11:08 am rating: +18
#11
Joe
If you all get together and pray, maybe you will be [i]passed[/i] over by the thieves. Oh, and I think there’s something about spilling blood on the door. Who wants to volunteer?
Sep 22, 2008 at 11:47 am rating: 0
#12
0falcon8
everyone mentions shutting the door, but there is no reference to a lock-that’s some security system
Sep 22, 2008 at 2:49 pm rating: 0
#13
Canthz_B
I thought Jesus had an open-door policy.
Love thy neighbor, but don’t trust that SOB!
Sep 22, 2008 at 2:53 pm rating: +3
#14
secondsout
The second note points out that a red note that says that when the door is open, it’s unsecured. He then goes on to suggest that a potential thief will suddenly realize that an open door is unsecured.
What thief needs to be told that an open door is unsecured? Shh, don’t tell thieves that they can walk through an open door!
Sep 22, 2008 at 2:54 pm rating: +3
#15
secondsout
Note #3 is a passive-aggresive note to lament the profusion of passive-aggressive notes. The circle of irony there is mind-boggling.
Sep 22, 2008 at 2:56 pm rating: +3
#16
secondsout
Is there a reason that all three notes are posted lop-sided, or is the photographer just incapable of holding a camera straight?
Sep 22, 2008 at 2:59 pm rating: 0
#17
paige
whoa, man. nobody mentioned a busted door until you came in and posted the second note.
oftentimes i find myself thinking, ‘what would jesus do in this situation?’ and most of the time i feel like he would leave a passive-aggressive note.
Sep 22, 2008 at 3:03 pm rating: +7
#18
Canthz_B
The screen door is a metaphor for the Pearly Gates of Heaven.
Those who are like us are allowed in, those who differ must be kept out of our Paradise.
We cannot just allow our metaphorical Pearly Gates to be left open to all…what would Jesus think?!
Sep 22, 2008 at 3:03 pm rating: +2
#19
VocaPopula
Nice use of color…unfortunately, now I have La Marseillaise stuck in my head.
Sep 22, 2008 at 3:34 pm rating: +7
#20
Quite Contrary
Prayer this.
Sep 22, 2008 at 3:37 pm rating: 0
#21
Quite Contrary
What’s really more important here is…what would Al Gore want? Door open or shut?
Sep 22, 2008 at 3:38 pm rating: 0
#22
Ryan
Everyone know red signs are the work of the devil.
Besides, can’t we all just get along?!
Sep 22, 2008 at 3:47 pm rating: 0
#23
snee
whenever god closes a door, he opens a window.
jesus, on the other hand, never remembers to shut the slider. that’s when all the trouble starts!
Sep 22, 2008 at 4:01 pm rating: +15
#24
glastonberry
Ahhh yes, a crooked, blurry photo is the perfect comment on crooked, blurry logic. Maestro!
Sep 22, 2008 at 4:38 pm rating: 0
#25
Goldie
Hey EVERYONE!
Our door is busted. The lock is not working. Come on in for steamy sessions of indiscriminate, unprotected love with random apartment residents. We are concerned it’s taking you so long!
Signed,
Want you to bang us like a screen door in the wind.
PS. We are all in this together.
Sep 22, 2008 at 5:55 pm rating: +7
#26
amy d
Why can’t we all just shut the screen door?!
Sep 22, 2008 at 7:14 pm rating: +2
#27
aaa
Do you think Jesus ever gets tired of people using him as support for whatever stupid argument he has? I’m imagining him sitting in front of the computer, reading PAN, and thinking “Jesus fucking Christ, why don’t they just leave me the hell out of it?”
Sep 22, 2008 at 11:43 pm rating: +5
#28
John in IL
“the relentless passive aggression” is “beyond belief”? So we should believe in Jesus instead?
Sep 23, 2008 at 1:18 am rating: +1
#29
Rach
Hello, fellow parishioners:
I did skip over the first few comments, but am I the only one that sees the hilarious sarcasm in the third note? Or is that an Australian understanding Australians thing?
Yours in Jesus,
Rach
Sep 23, 2008 at 6:32 am rating: +1
#30
claw71
The building was supposed to be secure and at one time it was. Early on it was a brand new apartment building with state-of-the art amenities. It was such a wonderful building that it commanded some of the highest rents in the area and not one unit went unoccupied. People actually paid a fee to be on the waiting list.
But time goes by and soon bigger and better buildings went up. The waiting list quickly shrank and months could go by before somebody even looked at a vacant flat. The building still had some charm but as revenue dried up the owners invested less and less into upkeep.
That’s when the building started to doubt itself. With clogged gutters, unkempt landscaping and peeling paint it was no longer charming but rather old and quite weathered; dated and tacky. People didn’t look at it the same way. Nobody wants to live in an insecure building but how do you make an old building feel secure when its confidence has been shattered?
Sep 23, 2008 at 9:03 am rating: +6
#31
VocaPopula
Aussi, fermez la porte ou vous inciterez le bébé Jèsus á pleurer.
Argh, meant that to be a nested comment. Merde!
Sep 23, 2008 at 9:19 am rating: +1
#32
se
The second note mentions the “walking passed”. Is this a PC way of saying that the area is haunted by dead people?
Sep 23, 2008 at 9:54 am rating: +2
#33
Frankie
When exactly are we going to start loving eachother? * unzips jeans*
Sep 23, 2008 at 11:17 am rating: +3
#34
poopsocks
it weirds me out that their handwriting is all similar. they’re probably all related.
Sep 23, 2008 at 10:07 pm rating: 0
#35
Shatlock holmes
I think it’s clear the third note was intentionally written with this website in mind. It was the poster’s intention to toss in a little humour, irony, sarcasm et al knowing he/she would snap the pics and post on here.
There are many clues which point to my conclusion.
And yes, it should not wierd you out that the scribe is similar across all three notes. Close up anal-ysis reveals identical ‘r’ strokes and other similarities. Something fishy going on around here…
Sep 23, 2008 at 11:17 pm rating: 0
#36
Shatlock holmes
Upon further anal-ysis, the three notes above are further revealed to be a hoax for several clear-cut reasons.
Three similarly sized pieces of paper, 3 different writers? Coincidental? Each note is stuck on the wall in the same manner, with the same length of tape. Too coincidental – this technique suggests a pattern eminating from the same person, who thought they could fool by changing tape from note to note. Each note closely and symmetrically aligned similarly points to a one person job.
The poor quality photo suggests the photographer was in a hurry – to take the pictures and take down the notes, before someone came along.
Too many holes and discrepancies in the storyline. Screendoor? Or security door? Sliding door? The second note suggests the notes are on the outside of the building, but clearly they are indoors, and not actually “on” the door as the same second note claims. The author clearly wrote three notes out at once (obvious from the clear intonations and scribe across all three notes) with a view to taking them downstairs and putting them on a door, then snapping them to put on this website.
However, I conjecture when it came to time to post all three notes down in the lobby near the door for the set-up shot, he/she changed location at the last minute for fear of being seen playing some hoax by a resident entering or leaving. Hence he/she went for a wall shot, just out of view of the main thoroughfare. The red note however, should in theory be “on” the door.
Finally, the mere mention of passive-aggression in a note is unusual in this context, given the clear-cut and circumstantial evidence they are a hoax. It suggests the author of all three notes clearly had some misplaced desire for attention to post them on this site, for a reaction I has it a guess.
Ok, so I have too much time on my hands too.
Sep 24, 2008 at 1:19 am rating: +4
#37
A-Rod
SUGGESTION: Add another sign, but on blue paper this time, and state they saw the need for a blue piece of paper so it would look more patriotic, then sign it “A Patriotic Concerned Resident.” I would so do this if I lived in the building.
Sep 26, 2008 at 5:22 pm rating: 0
#38
Cap J
All these comments and no one mentions the backwards N in note #3?
And yes I know how old this thread is. I only found this webite the other day.
Mar 25, 2009 at 2:24 am rating: 0
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