A filthy hap pit

September 23rd, 2008 · 207 comments

Reports Daikiki in Redwood City, California: “Two days after this note was slipped under the door of every apartment in the building, a second one appeared informing the tenants that said property manager was no longer employed as such.”

DON'T THROW TOILET PAPER IN THE TOILET

related: a deep-seated issue

FILED UNDER: "up for debate" · all clogged up · California · Clearly a non-native English speaker · toilet · WTF?


207 responses so far ↓

  • #1   Fresca

    You sure you don’t mean Redwood City, China? Because I could totally see that there.

    Sep 23, 2008 at 11:32 am   rating: 8  small thumbs up

    • #1.1   Mishee bang

      You’ve obviously never been to Redwood City. Although I guess I am a little surprised, this must be in the nicer part of town since there was no mentions of tortilla making late in the night or pinata mess left on the ground outside.

      Sep 23, 2008 at 11:46 am   rating: 10  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.2   Lazlo

      Oh, because there’s lots of Mexicans there! Bon mot!

      Sep 23, 2008 at 12:13 pm   rating: 11  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.3   Holiday Djinn

      The amount of mexican food available is directly proportional to the amount of toilet paper used.

      Boyle’s Third law of TP use.

      Sep 23, 2008 at 12:29 pm   rating: 49  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.4   bean

      People keep wondering what it means now that China owns so much of us; he was just getting everyone ready.

      Sep 23, 2008 at 1:02 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.5   zchamu

      It’s not China. It’s Sweden. This whole thing smacks of “a moose once bit my sister”… we’ve sacked the person in charge of sacking the person in charge of the toilet paper use…

      Sep 24, 2008 at 12:05 pm   rating: 13  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.6   Mishee bang

      No realli! She was Karving her initials on the møøse with the sharpened end of an interspace tøøthbrush given her by Svenge – her brother-in-law – an Oslo dentist and star of many Norwegian møvies: “The Høt Hands of an Oslo Dentist”, “Fillings of Passion”, “The Huge Mølars of Horst Nordfink”… Mynd you, møøse bites Kan be pretty nasti…

      Sep 24, 2008 at 12:08 pm   rating: 13  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.7   jamie

      awesome movie reference :)

      Jul 9, 2009 at 11:40 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #2   bikerbabeee bang

    They should have been using the kitchen napkins in there.

    Sep 23, 2008 at 11:33 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #2.1   Holiday Djinn

      When TP is not an option i prefer:

      1. Bidet
      2. Playboy Centerfold
      3. my partner’s tongue.

      All have there own unique +’s and -’s.

      Sep 23, 2008 at 12:42 pm   rating: 13  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #3   Dare

    Throw your TP out the sliding door damnit!

    Sep 23, 2008 at 11:33 am   rating: 22  small thumbs up

     
  • #4   Dare

    Gack! A dupe!!!

    Sep 23, 2008 at 11:33 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #5   Maddy

    So that’s what the air dryers are for then!
    Cheers

    Sep 23, 2008 at 11:34 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #6   claw71 bang

    What’s this toilet paper everybody keeps talking about?

    Sep 23, 2008 at 11:36 am   rating: 40  small thumbs up

    • #6.1   JesFoolin

      AIG, Lehman, Bear Stearns stock certificates.

      Sep 24, 2008 at 2:56 pm   rating: 14  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #7   Frankie bang

    My butt has been super itchy since we did away with the TP, but I’m saving money and damnit, that’s the only thing that matters!

    Sep 23, 2008 at 11:38 am   rating: 10  small thumbs up

     
  • #8   Shae bang

    Seems at least expectable, if not acceptible.

    Sep 23, 2008 at 11:38 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

    • #8.1   Mishee bang

      Or even acceptable

      Think before you criticize.

      Sep 23, 2008 at 11:48 am   rating: 31  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.2   jelloegg bang

      Or was it “keep your own nose clean before you nag others”?

      Sep 25, 2008 at 12:50 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #9   amy d bang

    The memo is damn near incomprehensible.

    Sep 23, 2008 at 11:40 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

     
  • #10   mere

    no, it is NOT expectable, not expectable at all.

    and what exactly is a hap pit? a pit of hap?

    Sep 23, 2008 at 11:40 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #10.1   Mishee bang

      I always said smoking is a dirty hap pit too.

      Sep 23, 2008 at 11:47 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #10.2   amazon bang

      Clearly, not throwing tp in the toilet (or throwing away anything at all) is a much cleaner hap pit.

      http://www.houston-imports.com/dirty/dirty.html

      Sep 23, 2008 at 12:13 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #11   Jill

    I used to go to a nail salon that had a sign in the bathroom about not putting toilet paper in the toilet. This does not compute. Why are people making toilets into which you cannot throw toilet paper? That is just wrong!!

    Sep 23, 2008 at 11:42 am   rating: 13  small thumbs up

    • #11.1   snee bang

      the paper is clearly labeled “toilet” paper, is it not? right, so put it in the toilet.

      Sep 23, 2008 at 11:47 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.2   bean

      Unless it’s labeled bathroom tissue, and then it’s something else entirely.

      Sep 23, 2008 at 1:11 pm   rating: 9  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.3   BurstingAtTheSeams

      Some older plumbing systems can’t handle massive amounts of toilet paper. Some of my friends in New England live in places where they can’t flush toilet paper because the plumbing is so old. I’ve seen what happens when they forget, and it’s not pretty.

      I can’t imagine Redwood having this same issue – but then again, I dont’ know what’s expectable there.

      Sep 23, 2008 at 8:55 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.4   Canthz_B bang

      The only time I’ve ever had a TP flushing issue was when Maple tree roots compromised our sewer pipe from the house to the main. The plumber reamed it out for $130 and we never had a problem again. This is in New Jersey, USA.

      Sep 23, 2008 at 9:02 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.5   anonymous

      There are a lot of countries and cities with either extremely old or extremely poor-quality plumbing that honestly just cannot handle toilet paper. Most places in central and south america have tiny garbage cans next to all of the toilets because their sewers just can’t handle it.

      Sep 23, 2008 at 10:53 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.6   Canthz_B bang

      That is so true, anonymous.
      That’s why Jody got into trouble here earlier today, not recognizing that the world does not consist universally of some of the things we take for granted here in the “developed world”.

      Sep 23, 2008 at 10:58 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.7   aaa

      But CB, everybody knows that everybody in every country on the planet does things just like the US does. I mean, we are the fucking greatestest country in the world and every other country looks up to us and wants to be exactly like us. Not being able to flush TP after eating McDonald’s? Well that’s just crazy.

      Sep 23, 2008 at 11:18 pm   rating: 11  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.8   Canthz_B bang

      Yeah, I saw something like that on the last page of my social studies book in 6th grade, but I was absent the day the lesson was taught, fortunately. ;-)

      (I got your joke, aaa…just funnin’ :-D )

      Sep 23, 2008 at 11:23 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.9   Mishee bang

      aaa you are right… I just can’t imagine how the countries WITHOUT McDonalds survive…

      I mean, how do you eat on the go while you are driving your SUV over to the tanning salon? I thank GOD we have two cup holders so we don’t have to throw our Starbucks out on the side of the freeway! And that way we don’t spill anything while we are busy texting someone and changing the radio station at the same time…

      Hey, if I get into an accident, I have a myriad of companies I can place the blame on (Starbucks, McDonalds, T-Mobile, Firestone, Ford, and of course, if I stretch it, the tanning salon) – then I can afford enough TP to clog my toilet for the rest of my life!!

      Isn’t America grand???

      Sep 23, 2008 at 11:53 pm   rating: 11  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.10   A+

      I grew up in a house with an old septic tank. We couldn’t flush paper. It wasn’t that bad. You just place fresh trash bags in the covered cans daily.

      Sep 24, 2008 at 12:37 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.11   Mishee bang

      A+ – You have obviously never suffered from IBS.

      It would be a big deal then.

      Sep 24, 2008 at 9:17 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.12   aaa

      Je sais, CB. :D

      But if you can afford to eat Big Macs in your SUV, you can also afford not to have IBS. I mean, it’s not as if intestines are an integral part of human anatomy or anything. There are ways around normal human physiology if you have enough money and a big enough sense of entitlement.

      Sep 24, 2008 at 9:27 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.13   amy d bang

      Hey aaa, I was on this website the other day and I thought to myself, I bet aaa would love this! So, please enjoy!

      Sep 24, 2008 at 9:47 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.14   aaa

      Shame on you! You shall not convert me to your evil pun-loving faith! My anti-pun god shall strike you down! Right… about… now.

      Any minute now…

      Sep 24, 2008 at 10:21 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.15   amy d bang

      The conversion has already begun. You made a pun the other day.

      Oh, and made you look!

      *sticks tongue out at aaa*

      Sep 24, 2008 at 10:27 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.16   park rose bang

      @11.14: That’s a pretty punitive kind of god, isn’t it, aaa?

      *evil cackle… or groan, if one can groan evilly…*

      Sep 24, 2008 at 10:49 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.17   aaa

      One can groan evilly. It kinda sounds like an asthma attack.

      Sep 24, 2008 at 1:01 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #12   snee bang

    writing p-a notes about throwing toilet paper in toilets is a bad hap pit.

    Sep 23, 2008 at 11:44 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #13   The Mayor of Bethville

    Maybe they want it enclosed with the rent checks every month?

    Sep 23, 2008 at 11:46 am   rating: 48  small thumbs up

     
  • #14   HS

    Your engrish is unexpectable.

    Sep 23, 2008 at 11:49 am   rating: 10  small thumbs up

    • #14.1   aaa

      But if you the toilet paper no more, we would no be in the having of hap pit to cost us the money when fixing toilet.

      Sep 23, 2008 at 11:50 am   rating: 11  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #15   aaa

    Soooo… They got low-flows to save money but realized that it would cost more money to fix them when they crap out (no pun intended) than just to have a good fixture in the first place.

    You know, there was an episode of King of the Hill about that. If only people would learn from the mistakes of animated characters on TV…

    Sep 23, 2008 at 11:49 am   rating: 17  small thumbs up

    • #15.1   anglophile bang

      Just admit it, triple a. That pun was intentional. And after all your pun nay-saying a few threads back! ;)

      Sep 23, 2008 at 12:15 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #15.2   aaa

      Blasphemy! I never pun intentionally! Except when I’m channeling Shakespeare, but I’m not feeling that witty today. :c

      Sep 23, 2008 at 12:32 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #15.3   Canthz_B bang

      If the pun was really unintended, you would have chosen different words, not said “no pun intended” when you realized a pun existed.
      Just admit that puns can be fun once in a while. “Crap out” was funnier than “break down” would have been! :-)

      Sep 23, 2008 at 1:56 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #15.4   denimhead

      Low flow toilets are evil. Completely useless when you’re having an elephantine poo.

      Which, um, happens to me a lot.

      DH

      Sep 23, 2008 at 2:36 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #15.5   Holiday Djinn

      And elephants, though popular in African cuisine, are not often to be found in Washington, D.C. :-)

      Sep 23, 2008 at 3:20 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #15.6   RunBarbara bang

      1+2+2+1

      Sep 23, 2008 at 3:34 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #15.7   sos

      flames, flaming up the side of my face…

      Sep 23, 2008 at 3:58 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #15.8   amazon bang

      Husbands should be like Kleenex – soft, strong and disposable.

      Sep 23, 2008 at 4:33 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #15.9   RunBarbara bang

      well…i had to stop her from screaming!

      Sep 23, 2008 at 4:34 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #15.10   amazon bang

      Aww, we should all have a slumber party and netflix Clue!

      Sep 23, 2008 at 4:43 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #15.11   Fresca

      Oh, who cares? That guy doesn’t matter! Let him stay locked up for another half an hour. The police will be here by then and there are two dead bodies in the study!!

      Sep 23, 2008 at 4:44 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #15.12   RunBarbara bang

      Mrs. Peacock was a man?

      Sep 23, 2008 at 4:55 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #15.13   Fresca

      A plant? I thought men like you were usually called a fruit.

      Sep 23, 2008 at 6:16 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #15.14   sos

      Wadsworth: Mrs. White, you’ve been paying our friend, the blackmailer, ever since your husband died under, shall we say, mysterious circumstances?
      Miss Scarlet: Ah!
      [laughs]
      Mrs. White: Why is that funny?
      Miss Scarlet: I see! That’s why he was lying on his back, in his coffin.
      Mrs. White: I didn’t kill him.
      Colonel Mustard: Then why are you paying the blackmailer?
      Mrs. White: I dont want a scandal, do I? We had had a very humiliating public confrontation. He was deranged. He was
      [points to head]
      Mrs. White: a lunatic! He didn’t actually seem to like me very much; he had threatened to kill me in public.
      Miss Scarlet: Why would he wanna kill you in public?
      Wadsworth: I think she meant he threatened, in public, to kill her.

      Sep 24, 2008 at 11:38 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #15.15   sos

      i have GOT to buy this movie now. i miss it. *sniff*

      Sep 24, 2008 at 11:38 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #16   snee bang

    WWAGD?

    would al gore flush toilet paper? or, would he poop directly onto a compost pile and put the paper on top?

    Sep 23, 2008 at 11:50 am   rating: 8  small thumbs up

    • #16.1   aaa

      Al Gore would tell you to poop directly onto a compost pile (no paper, though, since that kills trees), but secretly he would be pooping into his state-of-the-art solid gold crapper imported from Japan.

      Sep 23, 2008 at 11:52 am   rating: 21  small thumbs up

       
    • #16.2   Futon

      Do you think the former manager meant pleasure instead of pressure?

      Sep 23, 2008 at 10:01 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #17   claw71 bang

    Daikiki sent this note. For some reasone I don’t want to picture somebody named Daikiki doing anything with toilet paper…at least not with those four inch nails.

    Sep 23, 2008 at 11:57 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #17.1   Canthz_B bang

      TP origami is all the rage these days!

      Sep 23, 2008 at 6:18 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #18   Mishee bang

    I don’t know about y’all but I have issues with the submitter’s name… daikiki – I mean…. really?

    Wasn’t that a character in “Don’t Be A Menace To South Central While Drinking Your Juice in the Hood”??

    Aww claw! Jinx! (*whispers confessions of love in claw’s ear*)

    Sep 23, 2008 at 11:58 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #19   snee bang

    if you can no longer put toilet paper in the toilet, perhaps you should wipe your ass with your copy of the note and flush that.

    Sep 23, 2008 at 11:59 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #19.1   jackie31337

      But the toilet will clog if you put foreign objects in it! Please, won’t you think of the delicate pipes?

      Sep 24, 2008 at 5:05 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #20   Weeds

    The property manager is right

    Everyone should be using

    A rag on a stick instead of harmful

    Toilet paper

    Sep 23, 2008 at 12:03 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #20.1   Martin Heidegger

      Burma Shave

      (You have to admit, that would be a pretty sweet series to see on the roadside.)

      Sep 23, 2008 at 5:34 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #20.2   BurstingAtTheSeams

      Weeds, just like haiku.

      Toilet paper not be flushed

      Bad hap pit costs much

      Sep 23, 2008 at 9:02 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #21   RunBarbara bang

    i flush everything down my toilet and i mean everything…leftover macaroni and cheese, cat litter, socks, junk mail, broken glass…
    once a month i make sure to flush a suspiciously bloody knife and some stained plastic wrap to make sure my landlord knows how i roll. he’s never mentioned it and he never will if he knows whats good for him,

    Sep 23, 2008 at 12:07 pm   rating: 53  small thumbs up

    • #21.1   bobby

      These old toilets can’t handle big jobs like throw up.

      Sep 23, 2008 at 1:34 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #21.2   Vivitop

      Sounds like a “THX SANDRA” reference to me..

      Sep 23, 2008 at 6:23 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #22   YourACunt

    That toilet paper was fucking delicious! :/

    Sep 23, 2008 at 12:15 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #22.1   aaa

      Really now?

      I’ll let someone else do the unitarding. I’m too lazy right now.

      Sep 23, 2008 at 12:25 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #22.2   RunBarbara bang

      YourACunt, meet unitard. Unitard, meet YourACunt. i hope you enjoy it and i hope dropping the f-d bomb was worth it.

      Sep 23, 2008 at 12:25 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #22.3   amy d bang

      I think eating used toilet paper may have been punishment enough.

      Sep 23, 2008 at 12:34 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #22.4   Mishee bang

      methinks the screen name is quite appropriate and right one target.

      Sep 23, 2008 at 12:36 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #22.5   aaa

      I dunno, I don’t think hepatitis A can really compare to the horrors of the unitard.

      Sep 23, 2008 at 12:36 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #22.6   anglophile bang

      My A cunt what?

      Sep 23, 2008 at 12:51 pm   rating: 15  small thumbs up

       
    • #22.7   Mishee bang

      Glo, you know everyone wants to talk about your cunt… I mean, how often do you find one in such pristine, driven snow condition?

      Maybe we should auction it off on eBay.

      Sep 23, 2008 at 12:52 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #22.8   amy d bang

      I think it’s a saying, Like “Bring your A Cunt to this party”. Or maybe it’s a grade. You have a grade A cunt. Congrats, Glo!

      Sep 23, 2008 at 12:52 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #22.9   Ti O

      I was going to say something along the lines of,
      “Hi I am from the USVA I am here to inspect your…”

      Sep 23, 2008 at 1:17 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #22.10   clumber

      Could it be a ref to that horrible earworm song by Black-eyed Peas? Acunt instead of humps?

      Sep 23, 2008 at 1:35 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #22.11   Mishee bang

      amy, I see it more as, “bring your A cunt” as like, bringing your ‘A game’ on a date.

      I mean, you don’t want a date to see your secondhand cunt that you usually use when its not a special occasion, do you? If you do, then you might as well wear the ripped up granny period panties and not shave your legs either!!! I mean… really!!

      Sep 23, 2008 at 1:49 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
    • #22.12   BurstingAtTheSeams

      Absolutely, Mishee. I usually bring my A cunt out for special events (first dates, night at the opera, job interview).

      Otherwise I bring my B cunt.

      Sep 23, 2008 at 9:06 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #22.13   bellabeastie

      My A cunt g0es with me always.

      Be-cunt-z one never knows, do one?

      Sep 23, 2008 at 11:40 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #22.14   Canthz_B bang

      Nothing denotes health like a nice, shiny coat! :-P

      Sep 23, 2008 at 11:53 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #23   lutherblissett

    That reminds me of a sign in my ex’s bathroom. I can’t recall the exact words, but it was something like “Don’t throw anything in this toilet unless you’ve eaten it first. Toilet paper is the only exception to this rule”.

    Sep 23, 2008 at 12:16 pm   rating: 10  small thumbs up

     
  • #24   claw71 bang

    For the longest time I couldn’t figure out what to do with toilet paper. My parents were very reserved about such things and we never discussed how to use the bathroom. My knowledge of toilet paper came from commercials. So for years I would go to the restroom and squeeze the roll or rub just one square of toilet paper on my arm while I evacuated my bowels into the heating duct.

    Sep 23, 2008 at 12:18 pm   rating: 35  small thumbs up

    • #24.1   RunBarbara bang

      i had the same experience with fabric softener, which lead to a lot of inappropriate touching with theme park characters.
      oooo…the bears…

      Sep 23, 2008 at 12:26 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #24.2   RP

      Oh G-d, you’re not the one in that Robot Chicken sketch, are you?

      “So huggably soft..”
      “I just wanna help you with your laundry!”

      Sep 23, 2008 at 5:21 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #24.3   Mark bang

      Dude, I was totally thinking the same thing.

      “I need your softness!”

      Sep 23, 2008 at 5:28 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #25   claw71 bang

    Can I ask a serious question? If they can put garbage disposals in kitchen sinks, why hasn’t this technology been applied to the toilet?

    It would certainly help with dead pet/unwanted baby disposal.

    Sep 23, 2008 at 12:30 pm   rating: 26  small thumbs up

    • #25.1   aaa

      ‘Cuz they haven’t quite figured out the mechanics of making a fixture that can dispose of your poo and dead things while simultaneously shredding it up, heating your ass, shooting a stream of water at your ass, and playing a rushing water sound so people can’t hear you pee. The technology just isn’t there yet.

      Sep 23, 2008 at 12:35 pm   rating: 9  small thumbs up

       
    • #25.2   Mishee bang

      I could’ve sworn Japan was on the cutting edge of that kind of technology.

      I guess I must’ve been thinking of the Young Girls’ Underwear Vending Machines… my bad…

      Sep 23, 2008 at 12:38 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #25.3   lutherblissett

      castration anxiety.

      Sep 23, 2008 at 12:39 pm   rating: 15  small thumbs up

       
    • #25.4   aaa

      Well, Japan is on the cutting edge of shitting and vending.

      http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vending_machine#Japanese_vending_machines

      Maybe poo shredding is just low on their list of priorities. I mean, figuring out a way to let you buy stuff from vending machines with your cell phone is a much more pressing matter.

      Sep 23, 2008 at 12:42 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #25.5   Mark bang

      One of the best things about a toilet is that it functions without any electricity. Adding a communator (which is what a “garbage disposal” at the inlet of a sewage plant is called) to each house would negate that advantage, since the grinder would need to be inline with the effluent pipe. The blades would block the pipe, so it would need to be activated every time you poo, and designing it so it doesn’t break the siphon might be a challenge.

      It is theoretically possible to install such a device at the home level, but I haven’t heard of anyone ever doing it because it’s just not necessary — a plunger works pretty well for those “big jobs.” Like dead pets and babies.

      Maybe one of those fancy Japanese toilets has such functionality built in?

      Sep 23, 2008 at 12:44 pm   rating: 17  small thumbs up

       
    • #25.6   anglophile bang

      We’ll just call you Mark, Lord of the Loo.

      Sep 23, 2008 at 12:53 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #25.7   Mishee bang

      I knew having a shit engineer around would come in handy someday!!

      Sep 23, 2008 at 12:53 pm   rating: 9  small thumbs up

       
    • #25.8   thrall38

      Would wikipedia ever lie to me??? :|

      Sep 23, 2008 at 12:54 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #25.9   amy d bang

      Can you give us a update on preventing fecal mist from getting all over everything, please?

      Mish, would that be a poogineer?

      Sep 23, 2008 at 12:55 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #25.10   San Antonio Sue

      Actually, a reply to 25.5… I work at a large refinery near Galveston, where we were hit by Hurricane Ike last week. The company recently built a “hurricane-proof” building where the “rideout team” could hole up while a storm is in progress. The first thing that happened is that the power went out in the building, and for some reason the generator didn’t come on. Without power, our new electronic flushing toilets wouldn’t flush, and the team had to carry in water to flush manually!

      Sep 23, 2008 at 1:49 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #25.11   Mark bang

      That’s pretty funny! (note: I went to college in Houston, and drove by the row of refineries every time I went home for the holidays) (though I guess it wasn’t the Beaumont/Port Arthur refineries which you’re probably referring to, but instead the Texas City refineries)

      Someone didn’t do a proper HAZOP on the “hurricane-proof” building, methinks! :P

      Good to hear that they toilets still can function in manual mode though — siphons are fun things.

      Sep 23, 2008 at 2:00 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #25.12   BurstingAtTheSeams

      Ahhh Mark your answer was refreshingly genius! Hooray!

      Sep 23, 2008 at 9:09 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #26   Cheera

    I prefer using the finest and softest of leaves of either the almighty poison ivy or oak on my sweet behind. No TP in my house!

    Sep 23, 2008 at 12:55 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #27   Jody

    Okay…I admit it. This is a first for me.

    I’ve travelled to many countries, and used bathroom facilities of every description. Not once did I ever come across anything as absurd as being forbidden from flushing freaking toilet paper. The name, alone, says it all, n’est-ce pas?

    What the f*** do you do with ‘TOILET PAPER’ if not flush it…as it was designed?!? Eat it? (That sounds about right, given the level of ignorance exhibited by the letter writer.) Or is it preferable to leave the urine & feces-soaked toilet paper rotting in a garbage bin until garbage day?

    …Nice.

    Nope. Won’t be visiting grotesque, filthy places like that.

    Even people in third-world countries know how to use toilets AND what toilet paper is for. Where do they get freaks like this letter writer?!?

    Alright…I suppose there are a few exceptions. If you have a small septic tank, you might think it a good idea not to flush toilet paper (until you see how little volume, in comparison to feces, it actually takes up, once broken down into fibres). Sure, some boat owners ask guests not to flush toilet paper, for similar reasons (but, again, they’re deluding themselves if they think it makes that much difference, yet it creates a whole other disturbing outcome).

    Myself, I have a septic tank here at my beach house, and there’s no amount of money that could convince me to store urine & feces-soaked toilet paper, rather than flushing it. I also have a composting toilet at my (mostly green) cottage. Even the composting toilet takes care of all the toilet paper you want to throw at it, and its capacity is much more finite than most septic systems, much less the water treatment facilities designed to deal with toilet flushin’s.

    Again, I have to say, this is a first for me. What kind of freak hangs onto his used toilet paper?!? Seriously… Who does this?!?

    Sep 23, 2008 at 1:01 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #27.1   bean

      Quite a few countries, actually. And yes, they throw the TP into the trash can, if they use it.

      My bf’s work had to send a memo around his office building because of the immigrants working there who were doing exactly that.

      Perhaps a stop outside the tourists hits in some of those countries next time, no? Well, I could see why you wouldn’t want to…

      Sep 23, 2008 at 1:09 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #27.2   Izzy

      Have you ever been to China? Or South Korea? In both those countries – So Ko being similar in westernisation to Japan, China less so – you cannot flush toilet paper. Sometimes even in your own home!

      Sep 23, 2008 at 1:13 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #27.3   Bridget

      I’d have said the same until I went to Portugal last week. There were signs in all the bathrooms at a major university warning not to flush TP. The smell emanating from the trash cans helpfully placed in each stall was not entirely pleasant.

      Sep 23, 2008 at 2:02 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #27.4   Jody

      Quote #27.1 bean

      “Perhaps a stop outside the tourists hits in some of those countries next time, no?”

      Wow. Uh…since I’ve worked at refugee camps in Africa, your comment is a tad sanctimonious (not to mention erroneous). Even in the heart of African plight, people knew how to use a freaking toilet, for goodness sakes.

      Frankly, I find it astonishing that any civilized person would defend the absurdity and ignorance of storing filthy, used toilet paper, under just about any circumstances where toilets are attached to a municipal waste management system. (It’s still misguided when talking about septic systems, but at least I understand where people might want to try to minimize the volume of waste that needs to be stored in one.)

      Quote #27.2 Izzy

      “Have you ever been to China? Or South Korea? In both those countries – So Ko being similar in westernisation to Japan, China less so – you cannot flush toilet paper. Sometimes even in your own home!”

      My sister lived in So Ko for many years, and I never saw a single notice prohibiting flushing toilet paper. I think I would’ve remembered that kind of nonsense. The fish head soup we were constantly given as a “treat” is also something I’ll never forget.

      No signs prohibiting tp flushing in Japan, either…that I saw, anyway.

      My husband and I will be taking our first trip to China in the next few months. I’ll keep my eyes peeled. I’ll be very surprised if I’m totally prohibited from flushign toilet paper, as though that is the norm. …Happy to be proved wrong, though. But having known many people who’ve lived in China for business, none of them have mentioned this little ‘fact’. So I’m naturally quite suspicious of its authenticity.

      Quote #27.3 Bridget

      “The smell emanating from the trash cans helpfully placed in each stall was not entirely pleasant.”

      Well, as anyone would predict, making a rule that one must hang onto one’s used, urine & feces-soaked toilet paper would lead to quite a stench, along with incredibly unsanitary conditions.

      ******
      Let’s not act like this is a “cultural” or even an acceptable practice…or should I write “exceptible”? This is utter nonsense. Any properly-run waste management system can deal with toilet paper, as it is easier to separate and remove from the water than feces. If they can’t do that, then the whole waste management system is probably incompetent.

      Sep 23, 2008 at 3:16 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #27.5   Canthz_B bang

      We’ve been through this on PAN before, Jody. :roll:

      Believe it or not, the entire world need not conform to your preferred way of doing things.
      Live and let live.

      Not being a world traveler myself, I learned here on PAN about TP practices around the world. Just take the new info and be happy you learned a new fact…you don’t have to agree with it.

      Sep 23, 2008 at 3:35 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #27.6   Zsa

      Why am I not surprised at these comments from someone who is proud of a toilet that you can put in a closet?

      And Jody, when you say “composting toilet” do you really mean “a bucket”??

      Sep 23, 2008 at 3:48 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #27.7   Canthz_B bang

      Does the “closet” have a crescent moon carved-out on the door?

      Sep 23, 2008 at 3:50 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #27.8   Zsa

      No, CB you can seriously put one of those things anywhere- even in a closet as long as there is exterior ventilation.
      I saw several first hand in Alaska- and one person had to send pictures to a mortgage company in Seattle to prove why they didnt have a septic system. I have never seen one that was preferable to a real toilet, although they may have improved then recently.

      Sep 23, 2008 at 3:58 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #27.9   Cowgirlgraphics

      I’ll just go ahead and fill you in on the septic tank currently occupying my property. It went in in 1948, when the house was built. It has the lovely exception of having the “grey water from the sink and washing machine run into a seperate “dry well” on the other side of the house – a concept that is no longer considered environmentally friendly, although it keeps many a septic from failing. The main septic is for potty and shower and bathroom sink water only. It’s a big tank in the ground with arms called laterals to dispate the water in the tank. Leaving all “solids” to sit and digest until we have it pumped (about every 5 years for a family of 3.) Because our toilet is not a “low flow” we tend not to flush unless it’s been peed in about 3 times or, of course, you poo. Nothing “solid” except for TP and poo. It works. Although it doesn’t work when the electric goes out – no power to the pump from the well, no water goes into the bowl.

      So there you have it.

      Sep 23, 2008 at 3:58 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #27.10   Canthz_B bang

      Would I be wrong to ask which refugee camp you worked in, Jody, that came equipped with a water-treatment plant and sewer system?
      I’ve always seen tent cities and never dreamed these refugees had plumbing as good as the Ritz Hotel.

      I’ve learned something new here again!

      I know, Zsa…it was a joke. ;-)

      Sep 23, 2008 at 4:00 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #27.11   Zsa

      Dont mind me- IRL has dismembered my sarcasm radar. :/

      Plus reading things 1/2 way while researching composting toilets now available at Home Depot which was facinating. I pray daily for parts of my brain to return – like the “how to have fun” part and the “multitasking” part.

      oh look- an Edit button!

      Sep 23, 2008 at 4:08 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #27.12   Wade bang

      I spent a week in rural Nicaragua about 10 years ago, doing relief work after Hurricane Mitch. We did not flush our toilet paper, because the municipal sewage system could not handle it. The open air toilets in the hotel courtyard were cleaned almost hourly by the owner. Not what I would have preferred, but it was hardly intolerable.

      That said, this note is unexpectional.

      Sep 23, 2008 at 4:36 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #27.13   Sue Do Nim

      Myself, I have a real toilet at my suburb house.

      Sep 23, 2008 at 4:56 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #27.14   mrs. pommelhorst

      In Soviet Union, toilet paper flushes you.

      Sep 23, 2008 at 5:05 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
    • #27.15   Jody

      The subsequent replies are just priceless.

      I can tell you’re not a “world traveller”. The sanctimony dripping from the replies demonstrates you believe yours is the most experienced view. I have to laugh. You gained this “knowledge” through posting comments on the Internet, I suppose. (laughing)

      And no, the refugee camps don’t have proper toilets, moron. But when these people do…oh…I don’t know… have access to flushing toilets in hospitals, in the city, and whatnot, they know what to do with toilet paper. They’re not idiots who think it’s “normal” to leave feces in a bucket.

      The comments about composting toilets are predictably ignorant. No, I wouldn’t expect you to know anything about modern conveniences and green living, based on your commentary. Clearly, you’re about as provincial as they come.

      I own a small island on which I installed solar power for most of the electrical needs. And since sewage treatment is unavailable, and a septic system was undesirable, we opted for a composting toilet like that at the link below (it’s important to educate the ignorant):

      http://www.letsgogreen.com/composting-toilet-desc.html

      Ours was about $1,200 when we bought it 5 years ago, and it’s been nothing but ideal. What’s left is virtually odour-free compost that’s great for flower gardens, etc. The toilet, itself, is essentially odour-free, too.

      Still, even a composting toilet handles toilet paper just fine. One has to wonder about the incompetence of waste management facilities that can’t.

      Sep 23, 2008 at 5:06 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #27.16   Frankie bang

      OMG YOU OWN A SMALL ISLAND! Oh Gosh! You’re smarter than all of us too?!

      Ummmm. Go away. I’m the resident troll and you’re giving me a headache.

      Sep 23, 2008 at 5:21 pm   rating: 14  small thumbs up

       
    • #27.17   Canthz_B bang

      Far from being sanctimonious, I asked you for clarification.
      I actually found a way to do so without calling you childish names.
      You don’t need to tell that I’m not a world traveler, that information was given to you by me.
      I don’t build, nor do I judge, the waste management facilities of the world…I just respect the way other people do things.
      You, Jody, are the one with the “holier than thou” attitude.
      GET OVER YOURSELF!

      Sep 23, 2008 at 5:23 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #27.18   Mark bang

      Jody, you might want to rethink who you’re calling sanctimonious and ignorant. There are people here who may *gasp* know more than you do about these things. Could it be that you’re not the smartest person in the universe?

      In most circumstances, you are correct that toilet paper shouldn’t have any effect on a properly-designed sewage system (note the caveat — “properly designed”). And you are correct that composting toilets are teh l33t when you’ve got the soil conditions and the money to put one in. But claiming that everybody in the world knows how to use a toilet and everybody flushes their toilet paper is… um… ignorant.

      Also, on another issue, it is possible that the original letter wrote “toilet paper” when they really meant “paper towels.” Which would make more sense, frankly. And given their command of the engrish languij, I wouldn’t put it past them.

      Sep 23, 2008 at 5:25 pm   rating: 17  small thumbs up

       
    • #27.19   Frankie bang

      Jody. I’m sad at you. You’ve done gone and been mean to people I like. Tisk tisk. I’m telling Santa about this.

      Sep 23, 2008 at 5:28 pm   rating: 12  small thumbs up

       
    • #27.20   Canthz_B bang

      Oh, and I did not glean this knowledge by posting on the internet, but by reading what others, who have experiences I do not have, have had to say on the matter. Try listening to other people and you won’t have others thinking that you think you’re a know-it-all.

      Sep 23, 2008 at 5:32 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #27.21   nic

      Dear World-traveler,

      I have been to quite some places myself (including several countries in Africa, which, as we know, is a continent – so referring to ‘refugee camps in Africa’ is as specific as ‘McDonalds in the States’, but anyway), and I can only wonder where you had your eyes (or ass) when you were going around the world.
      I distinctly remember buckets of pooed on TP in Kenya, Tanzania & Malawi. I currently live in Lebanon, and guess what? If I flush TP down the toilet, the system clogs and the poo comes back up. So yes, I’d rather throw the TP in a trashcan.
      And why won’t you see notes telling you not to throw TP in the toilet? BECAUSE NOBODY (BU STUPID FOREIGNERS) WOULD THINK OF DOING SUCH A THING. Most people in the Arab world wash their butt with water and then use TP, which is then thrown in the trashcan (no stench, seeing that it has merely been used to dry a clean behind).

      So please, keep traveling, and by all means, spend more than a week in one place – that should be enough to see with your own eyes what your TP-throwing does to the toilet-system…

      /rant

      Sep 23, 2008 at 5:37 pm   rating: 20  small thumbs up

       
    • #27.22   snee bang

      late to the party, but…

      i was in china a couple of years ago–after “the porcelain revolution”–and i didn’t have to squat once, and i had toilet paper every single time! (i was worried a few times.) granted, i was only in big cities. (yay, big cities!) a few times, in the more touristy areas, there was a washroom attendant, and it was she who dispensed the tp. for a small tip. i tipped well and was always sent to the western stall–usually there was one western and the others were troughs over running water.

      i’m all for experiencing other cultures, but i’m weak with need for western style toilets.

      Sep 23, 2008 at 6:02 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #27.23   secretrebel

      You can’t flush toilet paper in the Greek Islands, the plumbing won’t handle it. You dispose of it separately. It’s a pain to remember but it’s not the end of civilisation as we know it.

      Sep 23, 2008 at 6:22 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #27.24   secondsout bang

      Look, lady, I was in the Peace Corps. I’ve been to a few third-world countries. I think Mark’s comment had it about right, and he should know, as he’s the PAN expert in the field of shit-treatment (really). If things are properly designed, it won’t be a problem. Jesus Christ, though! Things aren’t always properly designed. Many toilets clog. We were asked not to flush TP at our training site. Yep, a trash can full of shitty TP is not the ideal situation. Nor, however, is a backed up toilet spreading shit all over the floor.

      But as we all know on this site, it doesn’t matter. Because if you have a flush toilet, the invisible poo spray coats everything within a five mile radius, and has a special homing device for unprotected toothbrushes.

      Sep 23, 2008 at 6:26 pm   rating: 18  small thumbs up

       
    • #27.25   amy d bang

      I sure hope Jody doesn’t have any WMD on that island.

      Sep 23, 2008 at 6:37 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
    • #27.26   Coo coo Cachoo

      La dee dah dah Oh I own an island and blah blah blah Provincial blah blah whilst blah blah high horse blah blah.

      Jody you are an insufferable cunt and I would guess a liar as well. I hope you can fit in your composting toilet because someone should put you in it. After all that is where one does place shit isn’t it?

      Sep 23, 2008 at 6:47 pm   rating: 13  small thumbs up

       
    • #27.27   Canthz_B bang

      I just chuckle every time I read “these people” and “green living” coming from the same brain! :-)

      Sep 23, 2008 at 6:57 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #27.28   Mishee bang

      I can’t wait for the methane gasses to build up, and then one morning Jody will walk out on the beach of her private island like Brooke Shields in Blue Lagoon, (except, you know, not pretty… but probably has the same unfortunate eyebrows…) and then she heads to her private composting outhouse on her private beach on the island she owns to take her first big dump of the day and smoke a cigarette (while in paradise), but this time she doesn’t light the cigarette until she has already dropped trou and gotten comfy on the “Excel”…

      I just wonder, if a biffy is on a private island and goes up in an awesome firey explosion with a wretched, lying, no good gas bag on the throne; and no one is around to hear it…

      do we even care?

      Sep 23, 2008 at 7:07 pm   rating: 19  small thumbs up

       
    • #27.29   mrs. pommelhorst

      I’m naming my next punk band/hair salon/child “Unfortunate Eyebrows.”

      Sep 23, 2008 at 7:09 pm   rating: 13  small thumbs up

       
    • #27.30   Canthz_B bang

      Mishee, here’s your fucking Diploma!!
      It’s even written in Latin and shit! :lol:

      Sep 23, 2008 at 7:18 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #27.31   Mishee bang

      Latin? Really???

      Wait… what does “Es scortum obscenus vilis” mean?

      And why did they put “Meretrix” where my name should be?

      Oh well, either way, I did it!! Yay!!

      Sep 23, 2008 at 8:07 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #27.32   known unknown

      I’m a little confused?

      Jody seems so keenly informed on disposing of things that come out of her ass yet hasn’t figured out what to do with the crap produced when she talks out of it…

      oop! see what I did there?

      Sep 23, 2008 at 8:19 pm   rating: 18  small thumbs up

       
    • #27.33   homsar06

      I, too, have to disagree with Jody. I lived and studied in southwest China for 6 weeks and encountered only ONE toilet in my whole time there that could handle toilet paper. Most “toilets” were more similar to outhouses or mere holes in a concrete floor, and toilet paper was a no-no because the poo was harvested and used as fertilizer in the fields (I guess nobody wanted to see flecks of TP all over their crops, though why they were fine with possibly contaminating their produce with human waste I’ll never know). Even when I visited friends who had flushing toilets, they warned me before I used the toilet not to throw my bathroom tissue down the drain, but in the waste paper basket. I argue from my experience that where you throw your TP after you use it is culturally and/or geographically determined. It just so happens that most of the world now has toilets with sturdy enough septic tanks to handle TP.

      (Though, Jody, I think you’re right about Japan– in two years there I never saw a sign about disposing of TP in the receptacle).

      Sep 23, 2008 at 8:23 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #27.34   sizeXS

      It sounds like Jody has unknowingly clogged a few thousand toilets with her arrogant, uninformed, ethnocentric flushing of TP…

      Sep 23, 2008 at 9:03 pm   rating: 13  small thumbs up

       
    • #27.35   BurstingAtTheSeams

      Geezus I hate to add to this already long thread, but about flushing toilet paper:

      I have some friends who live in a HIGH RISE building in NEW JERSEY, yes, that’s right here in the developed UNITED STATES OF AMERICA and due to the old pipes in their building…

      They can’t flush their toilet paper! Not one person in the entire building.

      I suppose I felt like I had to say that with all the references to ethnocentric, ignorant people. If there are places here that can’t handle TP, I’m sure there are places outside this country that can’t either.

      Fuddy Duddy Jody.

      Sep 23, 2008 at 9:16 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #27.36   Canthz_B bang

      That building must suck.
      I don’t doubt your story, but I think the phrase “properly designed” has been used here already.
      I’ve lived in NJ for over 45 years and never had any real problem flushing TP that a plumber could not readily fix. I live in the Oranges, and this is a pretty old community, goes back to colonial times.
      I have not dated our sewer systems, but there are graves in our local church-yard from the 1740′s. Some that cannot be read any longer I presume to be older.

      Sep 23, 2008 at 10:23 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #27.37   bean

      Uhh…sanctimonious? Did I fail to realize I was dealing with Excrementism, in all its religious glory?
      btw, my suggestion cannot be erroneous, as it is a suggestion and therefore incapable of being factually deficient.
      For all your islands and beach houses, could you not afford a dictionary? For all your world travels, could you still not afford an education?

      Don’t hate because you expect the world to conform to your standards of living, after all isn’t that what’s supposed to make you so much BETTER than the rest of us? :roll:

      bite me bitch.

      Sep 24, 2008 at 2:58 am   rating: 9  small thumbs up

       
    • #27.38   paige bang

      dear jody,

      maybe you just didn’t realize that it was the cultural norm to not flush the toilet paper in some areas.

      i have spent a lot of time in central america and i have a great group of friends who live in the autralasia region and we all know better than to flush toilet paper in most regions. perhaps you just weren’t being as aware of your surroundings as you should have been. for shame.

      and, really, a small island? what kind of pompous ass feels the need to throw that into the mix? you could have made your point without that detail…

      moral of the story: don’t assume that anything that seems normal in the u.s. will translate abroad. you should know better, being so much more experienced than mere world travellers.

      you should also know better than to call something “unsanitary” when those are simply the common practices for good reason. that’s just ignorant.

      -paige

      Sep 24, 2008 at 2:59 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #27.39   simtpson j

      i have spent significant amounts of time in paris, mexico city, chile (santiago), buenos aires, rio de janiero…

      all modern, developed cities. in none of them did you flush the toilet paper.

      Sep 25, 2008 at 3:09 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #27.40   park rose bang

      I think we need a parody of this to bring closure to the whole thing (or for us to stop posting on an old thread) :D

      Of course the chorus would go,
      I have a rock,
      I have an iiislaand

      I’m sure the composting loo and all could get worked in, too. ;)

      Sep 25, 2008 at 8:37 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #27.41   Mishee bang

      That would be a job for Troy or claw… I tried to do a parody once and I am still recovering from the experience.

      That’s why when my stepson told me that Weird Al was a hack and all he does is take someone else’s song and put it to new words I schooled him on the art of the parody.

      Its easier to think of something original than to take something that exists and change it without really changing it…

      I tip my hat to all the parody people out there… Huzzah!

      Sep 25, 2008 at 9:21 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #27.42   Frankie bang

      I think Jody’s ignorance clearly got educated.

      Sep 25, 2008 at 9:55 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #27.43   claw71 bang

      To the tune of the Giligans Island theme song:

      Just sit right back and you’ll hear a tale
      a tale of how people shit
      It started ith a PA Note
      until Jody started to trip

      Now Mark is a smelly sewer guy
      he knows what to do with poop
      the rest of us are full of crap
      a PA Comedy troupe, a PA Comedy troupe

      The comments started getting dull
      when along came a big fat snob
      She took of an a big lecture
      it just wan’t her job, it just wasn’t her job

      The site got stuck right upon the shore of a boring private isle
      with RunBarbara
      and Mishee too
      The sewer man, and his wife
      CB was there
      Amy_d and even S’out

      Here on Queen Jody’s Isle

      Sep 25, 2008 at 10:29 am   rating: 25  small thumbs up

       
    • #27.44   Ti O

      I wish I could vote more than once for this!

      Really I am bored with “her”, she is saying the same thing over and over. Though I think she got in a tizzy from someone calling her a cunt and a liar. She mentions that over and over. I think her real name is Twatty McFibber. Meh. like I said it is over with.

      So moving on..

      Sep 25, 2008 at 11:44 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #28   bean

    That is one man I wouldn’t want to run into in the laundry room.

    Sep 23, 2008 at 1:02 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #29   Ti O

    I love going down to the hap pit and get hap dances.

    Sep 23, 2008 at 1:06 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

     
  • #30   0falcon8 bang

    help us help you
    no wipe when poo

    Sep 23, 2008 at 1:25 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #31   0falcon8 bang

    there was a tenent from redwood city
    whose booty was rather shitty
    a memo went ’round:
    “tp not allowed”
    so he wiped up with the kitty

    Sep 23, 2008 at 1:31 pm   rating: 15  small thumbs up

    • #31.1   amazon bang

      “round” and “allowed”? … I’ll let it slide this time ;)

      Sep 23, 2008 at 4:41 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #31.2   nitpicker2day

      “tenent” or “tenant”?
      I’ll let that slide too.

      Sep 23, 2008 at 8:47 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #32   bobby

    So he was fired for telling people not to flush toilet paper down the toilet? because he didn’t realize that’s how we do it here? or what?

    Sep 23, 2008 at 1:36 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #33   Mike Litoris

    You don’t need to know basic English grammar or spelling to be a property manager.

    Sep 23, 2008 at 1:55 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #33.1   amazon bang

      You don’t need to know much of anything to be a property manager!

      Don’t get me wrong, at the moment, I *heart* my manager. But I’ve had to deal with some grade A idiots in the past.

      Sep 23, 2008 at 4:46 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #33.2   JJ

      Agreed, Amazon. My former roommate finally snapped at our building management when we received our THIRD notice for our yearly inspection in about 8 months. And yes, all three “yearly” inspections took place within the course of one calendar year.

      All we can figure is they were either very disorganized or they thought we were up to something. Because the “both-in-late-20s female librarian/male HR manager roommate combo” is the first tenant pair I’d suspect of doing illegal or illicit business out of a two-bedroom apartment if I was the building manager. Sigh.

      Sep 25, 2008 at 8:24 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #34   Canthz_B bang

    This shows just how important it is to read the fine print before signing a lease.
    No flushing of TP would be a deal breaker for me.

    Sep 23, 2008 at 2:07 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

     
  • #35   Sheepish bang

    after you’ve done your shitty business on the can and there are such restrictions in place at your home I can offer a solution:
    - keep a jar of peanut butter in the bathroom, when you’re done add some to your area and let the dog take care of the remnants of your business.

    Sep 23, 2008 at 2:30 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #36   denimhead

    Wait a minute, wait a minute.

    Can we make a master list of the countries who don’t flush their toilet paper down the loo?

    Sort of a reverse Berlitz guide? On where NOT to ever freakin’ go, for sure?

    Not even if hot Asian women live there?

    DH

    Sep 23, 2008 at 2:42 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #36.1   vicks

      Well, if you want to explore Thailand (that is, not stay in the 5 star hotels), stay away. But they use water, which is actually much cleaner, and probably preferable to putting used toilet paper in a bin.

      South Korea, as mentioned before. This was common practice in the toilets adjoining the dormitories of the university I was visiting.

      China. A friend recently came back (June), and said that it was still the hap it.

      Most of the Middle East, though, again, water is used, so it’s fairly clean, no need for toilet paper except for absorption.

      You get used to it, and as secretrebel said it’s not the end of civilisation as we know it.

      Sep 23, 2008 at 7:57 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #36.2   katrina

      a little off topic but-
      when I toured Europe with some friends (a thousand or so years ago) we rewrote “50 ways to leave your lover” as “50 ways to flush your toilet”…..ah those were the days.

      Sep 24, 2008 at 9:31 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #37   Julie

    how do you spell ‘cooperation’ correctly but manage to make the word ‘habit’ into 2 VERY wrong words??

    Sep 23, 2008 at 2:55 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

     
  • #38   0falcon8 bang

    help us help you form expectable hap pits

    Sep 23, 2008 at 4:16 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #39   lizzie frizzie

    Are you allowed to put pee and poo in the toilet? Maybe they should be more specific about what IS allowed….

    Sep 23, 2008 at 6:05 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #40   creamy

    Is anyone else feeling kind of sorry for this guy?

    I’m imagining some bloke from Mombasa, Amritsa or Qingdao who turns up to his first job in California, very keen. Finds a problem he’s familiar with, and knows how to fix. So he carefully crafts a note to his respected tenants in a language which he is still learning to master, and tries to establish just the right tone. Then, inexplicably, he’s turfed out on his ear.

    He’s probably still trying to work out what he did wrong, and you know, their toilets are probably still backing up.

    Sep 23, 2008 at 6:17 pm   rating: 15  small thumbs up

    • #40.1   BurstingAtTheSeams

      Oh yes! I’m dying to know what happened to the toilets after he left.

      Sep 23, 2008 at 9:26 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #40.2   creamy

      Me too. Daikiki?

      Sep 23, 2008 at 11:53 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #41   Ti O bang

    Speaking as someone from a “border state” and having done my own fair share of world travel / living abroad there are places where the old pipes and septic systems do not handle toilet paper without serious stinky repercussions. Receptacles for used paper was a common thing. Unfortunately some of the immigrants new to this country bring this particular behaviour with them. How do you say less than an optimal situation?

    Sep 23, 2008 at 7:03 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #42   Canthz_B bang

    If no one were in the hap pit of writing these crazy notes, we’d all be spending time on facebook. shudder

    Sep 23, 2008 at 9:10 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #43   paige bang

    maybe it’s already been said, but how does one manage to spell “cooperate” correctly when they can’t quite figure out “habit?”

    i just never could have anticipated sum won doing that.

    Sep 23, 2008 at 9:17 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #44   bubbledumpster

    My roommate got a request quite like this one soon after purchasing a condo in Kissimmee, FL. After answering the door, he was asked by the maintenance man whether his parents where home. When he explained that it was his condo, he was then told in broken English that when he was done using the toilet, he should put his toilet paper in the garbage can please.

    Sep 23, 2008 at 9:57 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #44.1   Canthz_B bang

      Did he respond with “Kissimmee ass”?

      Sep 23, 2008 at 10:12 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #45   Jamie

    A friend rented a place from a man from Eastern Europe. When their toilet clogged, he told them that they needed to use only one square of toilet paper.

    Sep 24, 2008 at 8:41 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #45.1   Goldie

      In all honesty, out of four toilets in my house, two don’t like TP and I don’t know why, so I kind of understand the note writer. Big difference though: 1)I’m not renting my place out to anyone, and if I did, I would 2)NOT install cheapo “new pressure” toilets that cannot do the job, and then expect the tenants to accomodate my cheapskate hap pits.

      Sep 25, 2008 at 12:06 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #46   Sheepish bang

    after reading all the dialogue about flushing toilet paper and all the other alternatives i’m officially sending my membership and the $5 membership fee, to be part of the ‘Wash My Ass With Water” (WMAWW) society. it sounds like a lovely alternative to toilet paper.
    i live in Canada and i’ve never seen a bidet installed in a home before but now i want one… Home Depot here I come!

    Sep 24, 2008 at 11:21 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #47   Em Tee

    This just made me twitchy and gave me flashbacks of my junior year college roommates. She didn’t throw anything in the toilet either, but she used paper towels when she ran out of tp and refused to buy more. Her toilet, her issue.

    Word to The Beast.

    Sep 24, 2008 at 11:27 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #48   Lara

    While I agree (and have seen first-hand) that there are places all over the world (and indeed, in the U.S.) that don’t handle TP, if I’m renting an apartment and the TP goes down fine, then they install new toilets and I can’t flush my TP anymore,
    I’m getting out of that lease and giving my money to someone else.

    This discussion seems to center more around where in the world you can’t flush TP than the fact that this note is not from China or Taiwan. Places in the US that have that issue are not the norm but the exception, so I wouldn’t think it odd for the note-receiver to find this note to be unusual or annoying.

    Sep 24, 2008 at 4:10 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #49   Chonny

    Everything you know is a lie!

    Sep 24, 2008 at 4:11 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #50   Jody

    I’m just laughing and laughing and laughing and laughing. Stupid sanctimonious comments only make the writer look bad, not me.

    Thankfully, there are some very funny people who post comments here and seem to know that devising false accusations, making huge leaps of (moronic) “logic” which result in incredibly stupid (not to mention completely incorrect) conclusions would only diminish themselves, not the targets of their unwarranted aggression.

    I just can’t believe people think they’re clever by calling me a “liar” (uh, you are, given what you wrote), a “cunt” (your mother is a much bigger cunt than I’ll ever be), deny my life experience (yet admit you have none), or wish harm comes to me (wow…what a child), in the freaking comments section of a humourous web site.

    You know what? It’s not clever. It’s sophomoric.

    What? You spend all day trolling around various web sites calling other people liars and cunts and deciding you know everything about their lives? Yeah…that’s sounds about what these jokers did to me. You must feel really big now.

    (sigh) What a bunch of losers. (that is…the a-holes who attacked me and my account of my personal experiences) The people who are genuinely funny and original, you make the comments section worth reading…sometimes…

    Sep 25, 2008 at 11:13 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #50.1   fantasy bang

      Really Jody, we don’t troll. We live here. Our very own private imaginary island!

      Sep 25, 2008 at 11:19 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #50.2   RunBarbara bang

      yet you felt the need to schlepp out from under your bridge and troll all the way back here to tell us we are sophomoric?
      i would think that an island owner would have much more pressing things to attend to.

      Sep 25, 2008 at 11:29 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #50.3   claw71 bang

      Jody, I wish you would have named names and made it clear who the stupid, sanctimonious people are and who you find clever and funny. I sure hope you find me clever and funny. That’s what I strive for because I simply lack the cerebral acuity to hold my own in a serious discussion. Also you own an island. I might not be smart enough to debate you on the subject of solid waste but I know when the gravy train is rolling through town and I wouldn’t mind hopping on board. I just hope there’s still room with that massive ego you seem to be carrying.

      Sep 25, 2008 at 11:31 am   rating: 12  small thumbs up

       
    • #50.4   S&M

      I know you are but what am I?

      Bravo perfect PAN note. Maybe Kerry will post it… erm uh nevermind.

      Sep 25, 2008 at 11:31 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #50.5   Andy

      Um, that island was fucking delicious?

      Sorry. I’m new here.

      Sep 25, 2008 at 4:54 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #50.6   creamy

      Hey can we back off this mass feeding frenzy now?

      I know Jody is provocative (+ plus the rest). But this sustained festival of not-nice is turning PAN into a different sort of site… one that’s not so much fun.

      I’m starting to feel dirty (and not in a way that TP can help).

      Sep 25, 2008 at 7:26 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #50.7   Wade bang

      Um, creamy. Making a suggestion like that will usually have the opposite effect.

      Jody’s transgression was not that she was smug and insufferable. It was much, much worse.

      She wasn’t funny.

      Oh, and since the “not-nice” comment was made 8 hours ago, things had pretty well moved on.

      Sep 25, 2008 at 7:53 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #51   Frankie bang

    LISTEN HERE BITCH Jody, you are more than welcome to leave now. Please and Thank You. Have a nice day. Don’t come again.

    Sep 25, 2008 at 11:26 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #51.1   Frankie bang

      sanc·ti·mo·ni·ous [sangk-tuh-moh-nee-uhs] Pronunciation Key
      –adjective
      1. making a hypocritical show of religious devotion, piety, righteousness, etc.: They resented his sanctimonious comments on immorality in America.
      2. Obsolete. holy; sacred.

      Wow Jody! Completely appropriate use of the word sanctimonious there huh? Bet you wish you hadn’t used it over and over and over and over. Didn’t realize poo was so holy. GOD BLESS THE POO!

      Sep 25, 2008 at 11:37 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #51.2   fantasy bang

      Jody,

      Philippians 1:9, “And this is my prayer: that your love may abound more and more in knowledge and depth of insight,”

      Sep 25, 2008 at 11:53 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #51.3   Frankie bang

      Amen.

      Sep 25, 2008 at 11:58 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #52   Ti O

    Shhhh shhhhh. It is okay. Your personal experiences are valid. you are a valid human being. You are good enough and smart enough and gosh darn it there are people that like you.

    Now mater and I are going to have cucumber sandwiches and then I am off to play the grand piano.

    Sep 25, 2008 at 11:50 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

     
  • #53   fantasy bang

    GET BACK BY THE BEATLES

    THIS SONG IS FOR OUR TROLL.

    THE ONE AND ONLY ISLAND OWNER, JODY

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-6G7MkBMVxE

    Jody was a woman who thought she was a loser
    But she really was,she didn’t think it would last
    Jody left her own island
    Just for some PAN in her ass
    Thought she’d get some class

    Get back, get back
    Get back to your own Island
    Get back, get back
    Get back to your island now
    Get back Jody
    Go home

    Get back, get back
    Get back to where you feel at home
    Get back, get back
    Get back to the rock where you belong
    Get back Jody

    Sweet Claw thought he was a woman
    But he was another man
    All the girls around him say she had it coming
    So Jody gets it while she can

    Get back, get back
    Get back from where you don’t belong
    Get back Jody
    Get back to to your island now
    Get back Jody
    Go home

    Get back, get back
    Get back to where think your from
    Get back, get back
    Get back to your own Island
    Just please leave us alone

    Get back to being a loser
    No one understands you
    Get Back to where you do belong
    Get back loser!

    Sep 25, 2008 at 12:44 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

     
  • #54   Lildonbro

    I like that it’s not expectable rather than acceptable.

    Sep 25, 2008 at 2:32 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #55   MW

    I wonder how much used toilet paper was at the management’s front door the next morning?

    Sep 25, 2008 at 5:24 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #56   Canthz_B bang

    If the pipes can’t handle toilet paper, how can they be trusted to handle a healthy dump?
    Do the tenants all suffer from amoebic dysentery?

    Sep 26, 2008 at 10:05 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #57   Ping Wam

    This is like my apartment building in downtown China. We must lower our leavings into the bowl by hand so to not make noises with our humiliating splashings.

    WANG CHUNG!

    Sep 26, 2008 at 10:34 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #57.1   Joey

      …and what is to happen if your humiliating splashings should wake the landlord??

      Sep 28, 2008 at 5:45 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #58   skratte-o-lantern

    We should just make more hot chicks. As everyone knows, hot chicks do not make doodies like the rest of us. More hot chicks = less toilet paper used. Think of the trees.

    Nov 2, 2008 at 4:18 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #59   Just trying to “Keep Austin Weird” | PassiveAggressiveNotes.com

    [...] A filthy hap pit [...]

    Apr 6, 2010 at 11:35 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     

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