there are only 10 types of people in the world…those who remember to bathe regularly, and those who don’t.

September 24th, 2008 · 200 comments

“neumont is a strictly computer-science college located on the second and third floors of an office building,” writes jared in south jordan, utah. it’s therefore a point of pride for neumonters that out of several hundred CS students, “there are [only] a few who seem to forget to shower for a few weeks at a time.”

related: WoW, indeed

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FILED UNDER: hair · hygiene · thanks (but not really) · utah

200 responses so far ↓

#1 Bunnee

Wait until the guy with the greasy hair sees this note and in retaliation starts FARTING in the elevator. No more great elevator rides!!

Sep 24, 2008 at 12:37 pm rating: +8

reply to this comment
- #1.1 RunBarbara
  
  when i want to realiate against comments about my hair, i usually cut a clump of it off and wrap it up with wire and bits of fingernail. then i leave it for the person who commented with a note that says: “tonight.”
  
  Sep 24, 2008 at 12:56 pm rating: +24
- #1.2 jackie31337
  
  Careful, they’re charging people with assault for that now.
  
  Sep 25, 2008 at 3:10 am rating: +1
- #1.3 Bunnee
  
  un.be.liev.able.
  
  Sep 25, 2008 at 4:16 pm rating: 0
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#2 amy d

It’s a sad reflection of what you deal with every day when you feel compelled to thank people for good personal hygiene.

Sep 24, 2008 at 12:45 pm rating: +9

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- #2.1 Frankie
  
  Are we doing that now? I better get started. Thank you for smelling nice amy! It’s a pleasure to be your Troll. Claw… have you ever even seen real soap?
  
  Sep 24, 2008 at 1:40 pm rating: 0
- #2.2 Numinous
  
  Claw doesn’t need soap. He gets tongue baths… from dogs.
  
  Sep 24, 2008 at 2:40 pm rating: +3
- #2.3 claw71
  
  Come on, Numinous, don’t be so down on yourself. No, you’re not “conventionally” attractive but I wouldn’t call you a dog.
  
  Sep 24, 2008 at 2:45 pm rating: +18
- #2.4 Numinous
  
  You weren’t complaining the other night. In fact, you were quite vocal in your appreciation.
  
  Sep 24, 2008 at 2:53 pm rating: +3
- #2.5 claw71
  
  “Such a good girl.Yes you are. Numinous is such a good little girl.”
  
  Are you turned on again, too?
  
  Sep 24, 2008 at 2:59 pm rating: +3
- #2.6 Numinous
  
  Darlin’, I’m always turned on. It’s a chronic condition.
  
  Sep 24, 2008 at 3:02 pm rating: +1
- #2.7 secondsout
  
  Numinous suffers from the black snake moan? Whoa!
  
  Sep 24, 2008 at 3:12 pm rating: +1
- #2.8 Numinous
  
  I wouldn’t exactly say that I suffer. I think it’s kinda fun, in a distracting sort of way.
  
  Sep 24, 2008 at 3:27 pm rating: +1
- #2.9 aims
  
  Dear fellow hot-tubbers. I wish to thank those of you who shaved their legs today–it made my hot tub experience so much nicer—especially you, Bob!
  Aims
  
  Sep 29, 2008 at 4:16 pm rating: 0
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#3 kesh

hmmm….Working in a building where ppl need a congratulatory note when they shower… sounds like a great reason to start taking the stairs.

Sep 24, 2008 at 12:47 pm rating: +3

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- #3.1 amazon
  
  As long as they don’t start asking for tips for having showered.
  
  Sep 24, 2008 at 2:50 pm rating: +5
- #3.2 wright
  
  You’d be surprised, amazon… No, wait; if you’ve been reading this blog for more than a day or so, you’re unlikely to be surprised. By then you’ve already passed through the phases of shock, outrage, disgust and amusement.
  
  Anyhoo, with a minimum of incentive, those hygiene challenged Mormons and gentiles will be asking for tips. People are funny that way.
  
  Just look at Mishee and claw, who abuse entire cities, nay continents, yet we come back for more.
  
  A wise woman once said: “This is the Internet; all the happy people are in sports bars.”
  
  Sep 24, 2008 at 10:16 pm rating: +2
- #3.3 Mishee
  
  The only continents I abuse deserve it.
  
  That goes for the cities also. I mean, some places just shouldn’t exist…
  
  The fact that they do only gives me more fodder to make fun of them with, and that I believe, makes ALL of us happy.
  
  Am I wrong?
  
  Sep 25, 2008 at 12:11 am rating: +1
- #3.4 Canthz_B
  
  I used to put catsup on hot dogs…but wait, that’s condiment abuse!
  
  Sep 25, 2008 at 12:19 am rating: +1
- #3.5 Canthz_B
  
  I’d take the stairs rather than share an elevator with people who type ppl as if it were a word.
  
  Sep 26, 2008 at 2:04 am rating: 0
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#4 fantasy

I once heard a joke about midgets in elevators, well they really do get the worst of it, being so short and all, you know down low……

Sep 24, 2008 at 12:50 pm rating: +2

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- #4.1 Joe
  
  And their “you hair smells nice today” compliments are a little awkward, too.
  
  Sep 24, 2008 at 2:35 pm rating: +39
- #4.2 Bunnee
  
  What’s even more awkward is when they say “your hair LOOKS nice today”.
  
  Sep 25, 2008 at 4:19 pm rating: 0
- #4.3 claw71
  
  Not quite as awkward as when one of them takes the first swipe at a dead horse.
  
  Sep 25, 2008 at 4:22 pm rating: +1
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#5 snee

Thanks to all the Neumont U folks who were kind enough to take the English Basics class. That made the elevator PAN great; there were no run-on sentences or problematic apostrophes.

Sep 24, 2008 at 12:51 pm rating: +13

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- #5.1 RunBarbara
  
  well, you can tell more people they are wrong if you’re fluent in java script, html and english.
  you can also live a long, lonely, sad little life filled with microwave dinners and Buffy: Season 1 from Netflix.
  
  Sep 24, 2008 at 12:58 pm rating: +3
- #5.2 snee
  
  buffy? *scoff scoff* i serve my lean cuisine for one with a side of heroes: season 2 in hd. um, wait. nevermind.
  
  Sep 24, 2008 at 1:03 pm rating: +5
- #5.3 Numinous
  
  Um, there was an apostrophe blunder. Who’s instead whose.
  
  Sep 24, 2008 at 2:42 pm rating: +2
- #5.4 snee
  
  um, there was a run-on sentence, too.
  
  sarcasm, meet numinous. numinous, sarcasm.
  
  Sep 24, 2008 at 2:48 pm rating: +8
- #5.5 Numinous
  
  Sep 24, 2008 at 2:55 pm rating: 0
- #5.6 claw71
  
  Couldn’t find the middle finger emoticon, Num?
  
  Sep 24, 2008 at 3:01 pm rating: +3
- #5.7 Numinous
  
  Well, I was trying to stick my tongue out at him in a rude and juvenile way, but I forgot it automatically transforms into a retarded smiley.
  
  Sep 24, 2008 at 3:03 pm rating: 0
- #5.8 snee
  
  i’ve got your middle finger emoticon RIGHT HERE!
  
  Sep 24, 2008 at 3:06 pm rating: +1
- #5.9 Numinous
  
  I generally have better uses for fingers, but I don’t think you’re my type.
  
  Sep 24, 2008 at 3:28 pm rating: +2
- #5.10 snee
  
  aw, it is true that i don’t have a snee-snake…but i have one or two delicious qualities…
  
  Sep 24, 2008 at 3:33 pm rating: 0
- #5.11 Numinous
  
  I suppose I could take you for a test drive.
  
  Sep 24, 2008 at 3:40 pm rating: 0
- #5.12 snee
  
  and then all you’ll be smelling is my rich, corinthian leather!
  
  (yeah, i know that doesn’t make sense. don’t judge me.)
  
  Sep 24, 2008 at 4:06 pm rating: +3
- #5.13 aims
  
  I was just trying to give you the middle finger when I discovered how soft and clean your hair was!
  Eric the Midget
  
  Sep 29, 2008 at 4:19 pm rating: +1
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#6 RunBarbara

in my experience, computer-science people don’t tend to have the best hygiene. its the same as comic book nerds.
“why would i take a shower when the new issue of punisher: war journal came out? for crying out loud, i have to read it so i can start correcting people on the internet about their mistaken opinions! excelsior!”

Sep 24, 2008 at 12:51 pm rating: +8

reply to this comment
- #6.1 fantasy
  
  Had me smelling my pits there RB, there is a new note on Pan!
  
  Sep 24, 2008 at 12:55 pm rating: 0
- #6.2 Holiday Djinn
  
  You have smelled nothing until you have been to a large Magic The Gathering Grand Prix event, or Gaming convention!
  
  Think about over 1000 hot, smelly geeks throwing around cards in a usually non-airconditioned event hall.
  
  Seriously, i have taken to carrying around lysol.
  
  Sep 24, 2008 at 1:21 pm rating: 0
- #6.3 RunBarbara
  
  i see your Nerd Poker event and raise you a Comic-Con…in San Diego…in 101 degree heat wave…with a broken air conditioner. The air is thick with the smell of puppy breath, french fry grease and pre-cum from the Women of X-Men booth…
  really, there is no competition.
  
  Sep 24, 2008 at 1:27 pm rating: +17
- #6.4 Bunnee
  
  All of those other things sound pretty nasty, but puppy breath? I actually kind of enjoy that smell…(does that make me a weirdo?)
  
  Sep 24, 2008 at 1:35 pm rating: 0
- #6.5 CremeBrulee
  
  Do you have to eat a puppy to get puppy breath?
  
  Sep 24, 2008 at 2:21 pm rating: +10
- #6.6 CremeBrulee
  
  Speaking of puppy breath:
  
  http://mfrost.typepad.com/cute_overload/2008/09/baby-eats-dog-i.html
  
  Sep 24, 2008 at 2:43 pm rating: 0
- #6.7 amazon
  
  Is that better than pussy breath?
  
  http://mfrost.typepad.com/cute_overload/2006/06/cuteoverload_ma.html
  
  Sep 24, 2008 at 2:56 pm rating: 0
- #6.8 Holiday Djinn
  
  CURSES!!!!!
  
  You win this time runbarbara!
  
  You will NOT be so lucky in the future!!
  
  Sep 24, 2008 at 3:55 pm rating: +1
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#7 Mishee

Computer Science people shower?

Wow.

Sep 24, 2008 at 12:54 pm rating: +4

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#8 bean

Seriously, computer science school? All but ONE bathed that day. What are the odds? I woulda bet against it.

Sep 24, 2008 at 12:55 pm rating: +4

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#9 snee

shouldn’t this note have been word-processed?

Sep 24, 2008 at 12:56 pm rating: +15

reply to this comment
- #9.1 Eric B.
  
  Actually, this note should’ve been Twittered.
  
  Sep 24, 2008 at 6:37 pm rating: +1
- #9.2 snee
  
  and backed up on a flash drive.
  
  Sep 24, 2008 at 10:49 pm rating: +2
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#10 Holiday Djinn

I get the feeling this guy is really just a pervert who is into smelling random women’s hair, and underarms.

He should contact mishee.

Sep 24, 2008 at 1:01 pm rating: 0

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- #10.1 snee
  
  this is definitely feminine writing. so she is really just a pervert who is into smelling random women’s hair and underarms.
  
  She is mishee!
  
  Sep 24, 2008 at 1:06 pm rating: +3
- #10.2 Mishee
  
  what about smelling the hair in my underarms?
  
  It smells like Secret: Glacier Mist.
  
  Sep 24, 2008 at 1:11 pm rating: +2
- #10.3 amy d
  
  Your underarms smell like Teen Secret?
  
  Sep 24, 2008 at 1:18 pm rating: +1
- #10.4 RunBarbara
  
  no, but she has a teen secret under her bed…that smells like urine and KY.
  
  Sep 24, 2008 at 1:21 pm rating: +2
- #10.5 amy d
  
  What does Kentucky smell like?
  
  Sep 24, 2008 at 1:30 pm rating: +3
- #10.6 Frankie
  
  Urine and KY.
  
  Sep 24, 2008 at 1:43 pm rating: +3
- #10.7 amy d
  
  Is this a circular argument?
  
  Sep 24, 2008 at 2:05 pm rating: +3
- #10.8 Frankie
  
  probably.
  
  Sep 24, 2008 at 2:38 pm rating: 0
- #10.9 snee
  
  i dunno. what does a circular argument smell like?
  
  Sep 24, 2008 at 2:50 pm rating: +5
- #10.10 Holiday Djinn
  
  A wastebasket full of soiled toilet paper?
  
  Sep 24, 2008 at 3:57 pm rating: 0
- #10.11 snee
  
  i was thinking of urine and ky, so that works.
  
  Sep 24, 2008 at 4:07 pm rating: +1

painfully polite and hilariously hostile writings from shared spaces the world over

there are only 10 types of people in the world…those who remember to bathe regularly, and those who don’t.

September 24th, 2008 · 200 comments

200 responses so far ↓