I’ll tell you what’s classy, though…

September 25th, 2008 · 157 comments

“Let me preface this by saying that the ladies’ room at work is quite clean,” writes Angie in Stamford, Connecticut. “I’m not saying it’s where I eat my lunch, but it’s a very satisfactory restroom.”

It was something of a surprise, then, Angie says, when this sign appeared on each of the walls and stall doors.

COURTESY 101: Ladies - When you are done handling your business please spray. It is not lady like or classy to leave lingering aromas.

In particular, Angie would like to draw your attention to the lower left-hand portion of the sign. “There are several lessons to be learned here,” she says, “perhaps most importantly that one should spray one’s corpses prior to placing them in the ladies’ room.”

related: When you can’t blame the dog

FILED UNDER: bathroom · clip art catastrophe · Connecticut · odor · office · Stamford


157 responses so far ↓

  • #1   zchamu

    Yeah, that was after a big mexican dinner. Sorry.

    Sep 25, 2008 at 8:51 pm   rating: 9  small thumbs up

     
  • #2   anglophile bang

    If this is Courtesy 101, I think a better slogan would have been “Eliminates Bathroom Odors 101%”

    Sep 25, 2008 at 8:53 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

     
  • #3   Quite Contrary

    Having lived with the former Mr. QC for longer than I care to remember, I can tell you that nothing, and I mean nothing, eliminates bathroom odors 100%.

    Sep 25, 2008 at 8:54 pm   rating: 29  small thumbs up

    • #3.1   Claire bang

      QC, I understand. I tried to use various deodorizers myself after the last Mr. Claire had finished his not-so-hidden agenda, and the only success I had was that the place then smelled like he had crapped pina colada or rose scented shat.

      Sep 25, 2008 at 11:15 pm   rating: 24  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.2   Zsa bang

      I found matches work much better for offsetting Mr. Zsa’s “work in progress” (never mine of course) Some days 1 match, other days the whole pack!

      Sep 25, 2008 at 11:33 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.3   Flaboy2425

      Even better than matches is a combination of match and toilet paper. Take about three sheets of TP, fold, place in toilet above the water line, strike match, light paper and, after it begins to burn, flush. The smell of burning TP will mask even the worst.

      Sep 26, 2008 at 12:42 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.4   Goldie

      Now we know what to do with that pesky TP we’re not supposed to flush – set it on fire! Two stinky birds with one stone. Classy!

      Sep 26, 2008 at 7:18 am   rating: 34  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.5   RandyinReno

      You would never want to strike a match in the methane-rich atmosphere produced when I’ve “dropped the kids off at the pool!”

      Sep 26, 2008 at 11:46 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.6   Mishee bang

      That’s why they make Organic Composters Randy.

      Just ask Jody how well the “Excel” works on her private island. Its the wave of the future!

      Sep 26, 2008 at 11:55 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.7   Frankie bang

      Maybe Jody will know of some “sanctimonious” spray that’s eco friendly and actually works, I mean, since her shit don’t stink and whatnot.

      Sep 26, 2008 at 12:04 pm   rating: 11  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.8   Ti O bang

      “subtle sirens of sanctimony for when your shit don’t stink but it does.”

      Sep 26, 2008 at 2:46 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.9   mrs. pommelhorst

      This thread is how I know I’m gay. *gag*

      Sep 27, 2008 at 12:47 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #4   Quite Contrary

    If Courtesty 101, an introductory course, teaches you to spray after spraying (if you will), what does Courtesy 401 teach you? How to refrain from ever having to use a restroom so you will never run the risk of offending anybody anywhere at anytime?

    Sep 25, 2008 at 8:59 pm   rating: 19  small thumbs up

    • #4.1   Claire bang

      Courtesy 302 covers a much more in-depth lesson on how to avoid wearing cheap-ass perfume which will offend co-workers when you LEAVE the ladies room….

      Sep 25, 2008 at 11:10 pm   rating: 12  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.2   bellabeastie

      because they are vomiting on the north side of the office due to your cheap-ass perfume…

      Sep 25, 2008 at 11:31 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #5   Wade bang

    My only suggestion: Keep your toothbrush covered.

    Sep 25, 2008 at 9:02 pm   rating: 26  small thumbs up

     
  • #6   eureeka

    To spray is to admit that you have a lingering aroma! I don’t even let my poo drop when there are other people in the bathroom, much less publicly accept responsibility for the smell and spray it.

    Besides, the note poster should be thankful the smell is the only thing she has to experience. Come back when the Mad Bomber joins the company.

    Sep 25, 2008 at 9:04 pm   rating: 21  small thumbs up

     
  • #7   morpho aurora bang

    if the ladies are “handling” their business, wouldn’t it be smarter to put up a sign reminding them to wash their hands?

    Sep 25, 2008 at 9:09 pm   rating: 56  small thumbs up

    • #7.1   snee

      CRAP! you beat me to it!

      *sprays*

      Sep 25, 2008 at 10:48 pm   rating: 11  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.2   Quite Contrary

      Well, that is what they did at my office this week as it was National Clean Hands Week, after all.

      I guess next week is back to normal…

      Sep 26, 2008 at 5:23 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.3   Timmsterr

      I’d like to direct your attention to the lower left hand portion of the sign “there are several lessons to be learned here,” namely, don’t bring the pocket rocket to work. They have cameras EVERYWHERE!!!

      Sep 29, 2008 at 6:03 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #8   anglophile bang

    I’m thinking this is some new, edgy viral-marketing campaign by Lysol. Coming soon to a workplace (and blog!) near you.

    Sep 25, 2008 at 9:14 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

     
  • #9   Eric B.

    I thought Courtesy 101 was the courtesy flush?

    Sep 25, 2008 at 9:25 pm   rating: 17  small thumbs up

    • #9.1   Hambaobao

      Exactly – its clear the note writer had a rather crappy education if her courtesy 101 course taught spraying ahead of the courtesy flush.

      The courtesy flush eliminates the odour source – spraying merely partially disguises, but does not eliminate, the fecally-rich particles wafting through the ethers.

      Sep 25, 2008 at 11:38 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.2   JesFoolin

      I find it more effective to place my toilet tissue in the trash and light it on fire.

      Sep 25, 2008 at 11:55 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.3   Hambaobao

      The problem is toilet paper burning is an advanced technique not taught unless you go on to a Grad Dip. in Courtesy; most students drop out after 101, or 202 at most.

      Sep 26, 2008 at 12:10 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.4   Canthz_B bang

      Courtesy flushing deposits fecal matter on your “special place”. It feels refreshing, but that’s just temporary.

      Sep 26, 2008 at 1:40 am   rating: 24  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.5   Kill The Energizer Junglebunny

      …..like reading 20 or so clever comments before being subjected to another idiotic post from you? Yeah, just like that. Sigh.

      Sep 27, 2008 at 12:23 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.6   fantasy bang

      I think you need professional counseling,seems you have multiple personality disorder with all these names you make up.

      Hurry up and decide who you are. Then register and add something more to this site other than singling out one person to stalk.

      Sep 27, 2008 at 1:41 am   rating: 12  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.7   Canthz_B bang

      “Jungle-bunny”?
      You can do better than that, my friend.
      Try “Jigaboo” next time, or “Tar-baby”.

      It’s nice to know you still care, even though I haven’t been able to post much on the past few threads. I’m so happy I can give your life some purpose. ;-)

      Sep 28, 2008 at 4:35 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.8   GatorCat

      Why on earth would you perform the courtesy flush (or any flush for that matter) whilst seated?

      Oct 1, 2008 at 3:10 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #10   sf_iris

    I wonder if the lingering odor was from that jerk who hadn’t washed his hair _ever_. (If he’s a jerk, it stands to reason that he’d have no problem using the ladies’ room.)

    Sep 25, 2008 at 9:56 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #11   bean

    Well thank god I never said I was a fuckin lady.

    That’ s why we call it the women’s restroom where I’m from.

    Sep 25, 2008 at 10:39 pm   rating: 11  small thumbs up

     
  • #12   Ghosty

    Nobody is going to write the obligatory “X was fucking delicious”?

    Sep 25, 2008 at 10:39 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #12.1   morpho aurora bang

      you can if you really want to, ghosty – i’m sure there’s a spare unitard around here somewhere ;)

      Sep 25, 2008 at 10:53 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #12.2   Claire bang

      Wasn’t it declared several PANs ago that FD had died, leaving no next of kin? Does this mean that the unitard has to be retired?

      Sep 25, 2008 at 11:08 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #12.3   bellabeastie

      FD was declared dead.

      Sadly we must contact Special Vicitms Unit-ard for any clues as to a replacement.

      Sep 25, 2008 at 11:41 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #12.4   amy d bang

      FD may be dead, but other offenses still lurk and others will pop up. The unitard will never retire.

      Sep 26, 2008 at 9:21 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #12.5   Frankie bang

      I’m currently wearing the Unitard. I don’t know why. Amy gave it to me and I have yet to take it off. It smells ghastly. Somebody spray me with that sanctimonious Lysol.

      Sep 26, 2008 at 9:49 am   rating: 12  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #13   0falcon8 bang

    yeah, ladies. whether you’re sitting there with your skirt down around your ankles droppin’ a deuce, taking the browns to the super bowl, dropping the kids off at the pool, or stocking the lake with brown trout, you should be considerate to others and spray!

    Sep 25, 2008 at 10:48 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

    • #13.1   secondsout bang

      Falcon, you forgot the 5-minute weight-loss program, laying a cake, coiling rope, pinching a loaf, downloading, and the pilot to bombardier.

      Sep 26, 2008 at 3:49 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #13.2   Cowgirlgraphics

      what about building a log cabin, dropping a steamer, and doing #2?

      Sep 26, 2008 at 10:51 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #14   Claire bang

    I have consulted various on-line etiquette books in regards to “spraying the ladies room”. They each remain oddly mute about this.

    Sep 25, 2008 at 11:04 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

     
  • #15   Claire bang

    I would frankly be more concerned about the physical and psychological aspects of a lady who “sprays” the bathroom. Is the note writer suggesting that ladies behave a bit like cats spraying their territory?

    Sep 25, 2008 at 11:06 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

     
  • #16   Troy McClure bang

    A lady who lived in Connecticut
    Knew all about work bathroom etiquette.
    “If you poo and fart,”
    She says with clipart,
    “Lysol can be used for offsetting it.”

    Sep 25, 2008 at 11:10 pm   rating: 113  small thumbs up

    • #16.1   Canthz_B bang

      Now that’s art, Troy!! :-D

      Sep 26, 2008 at 1:28 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #16.2   Ellabella

      You win for this, Troy. Here, have the internet.

      Sep 26, 2008 at 2:19 am   rating: 18  small thumbs up

       
    • #16.3   anglophile bang

      If this comment isn’t the first limerick to make Word! I’m going to organize a boycott of PAN.

      Sorry to play hardball, kerry, but you know it’s flawless.

      Sep 26, 2008 at 5:04 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #16.4   RandyinReno

      Best fuckin’ Limerick of all time!

      Sep 26, 2008 at 11:50 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #16.5   secondsout bang

      Ooh, best limerick of all time? That’s a bold statement. I like Troy’s limerick, don’t get me wrong, but best ever is some tough competition. Among my faves (I didn’t make this one up; not trying to take credit for it):

      There once was a whore named Maureen
      Whose cunt wasn’t kept very clean
      The semen dripped out
      Of her smelly ol’ spout
      Which she scraped up and ate with Saltines

      Sep 26, 2008 at 12:03 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #16.6   amazon bang

      Brilliant, Troy!

      Sep 26, 2008 at 12:58 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #16.7   RandyinReno

      OK. Let’s say the best applicable, directly targeted PA Limerick of all time…

      Sep 26, 2008 at 1:00 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #16.8   Ti O bang

      Bravo bravo, well played sir!

      Sep 26, 2008 at 2:50 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #16.9   aims

      There once was a girl from Nantucket
      With a large stinky turd in her bucket
      When it finally came out
      Worse than rank sauerkraut
      No Lysol was sprayed so just fuckit.

      Sep 26, 2008 at 3:14 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #16.10   Claire

      Oh, Troy!
      *sighs dreamily as a single tear rolls down my cheek*
      You have truly captured the limmerick and made it yours! My hero !

      Sep 26, 2008 at 9:41 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #16.11   time_waster

      Troy’s was awesome, but i personally thought aims’s was the best. secondsout, yours made me throw up the food i havent even eaten yet, but it was still very good -way better than anyone i know could’ve done. im not even going to attempt.

      Nov 30, 2009 at 12:51 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #17   Canthz_B bang

    I had a cat once that sprayed. That added to odors though.

    Sep 25, 2008 at 11:14 pm   rating: 12  small thumbs up

    • #17.1   bellabeastie

      Purrrrfect.

      Sep 26, 2008 at 12:08 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #17.2   Red Letterboxer

      Coincidentally, the google ad that was attached to the email notification I got for this PAN was an ad for http://www.cat-urine-removal.com, which I found oddly appropriate.

      Sep 26, 2008 at 8:32 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #18   Claire bang

    CB, did you introduce the cat to Courtesy 101? :)

    Sep 25, 2008 at 11:16 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #18.1   Canthz_B bang

      I introduced the cat to the vet who then introduced kitteh to scalpel!

      Sep 25, 2008 at 11:25 pm   rating: 12  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #19   Claire bang

    We did have one woman who worked in our company and brought all these candles. She lit them in the ladies room every day. She said it for “atmosphere” but it made our loo look like you might have your fortune told while having that “private moment”. Or you were going to experience a miracle.

    Sep 25, 2008 at 11:31 pm   rating: 12  small thumbs up

    • #19.1   jackie31337

      Some companies (which will remain nameless) could use a miracle or two. If nothing else, maybe all the candles will set the building on fire and they can collect on the insurance.

      Sep 26, 2008 at 3:35 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #19.2   HS

      Office Space anyone?

      Sep 26, 2008 at 10:43 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #19.3   Cowgirlgraphics

      What insurance? With all the companies tuumbling like dominoes, the likelyhood of the payment is growing dimmer ….

      Sep 26, 2008 at 10:54 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #20   bellabeastie

    On another *note* -

    Just how “Ladylike and Classy” is it to leave a co-worker obviously stricken by your gaseous outpouring prone on the floor whilst you go blithely about the rest of your day?

    She better pray the spray wakes her up or else she’s got some “esplainin’ to do”..

    Sep 25, 2008 at 11:51 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #21   bellabeastie

    P.S. psst…who is the pinchy-nosed guy…upper right?….. shhh. sorta scary.

    Zombie Stench Patrol?

    Sep 26, 2008 at 12:03 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #22   Kitanne

    Yay! Now I can pee and suffer an asthma attack at the same time! Your oh so incredibly polite monsoon of overly fragranced chemicals has really improved my bathroom experience! You, madam or possibly sir (although that would be creepy), should receive the most wondrous of awards.

    Hopefully it will be heavy. And someone will throw it at your head.

    Sep 26, 2008 at 12:31 am   rating: 23  small thumbs up

     
  • #23   Canthz_B bang

    But, but, I kind of like lingering lingerie aromas!

    Sep 26, 2008 at 1:25 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #24   Canthz_B bang

    This is what happens when Judith Martin is forced to moonlight.

    Sep 26, 2008 at 1:34 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #25   secondsout bang

    The ladies room at Angie’s work is where they handle business? I guess all the women at Angie’s office are toilet maids.

    Sep 26, 2008 at 3:52 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #26   secondsout bang

    Eliminate bathroom odors 100%? What if I just happen to be proud of the way my dumps smell? To some degree, it’s a nostalgia thing. Reminds me of RB’s mom.

    Sep 26, 2008 at 3:54 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #27   amy d bang

    This looks like a magazine ad for Lysol from the 70′s.

    Sep 26, 2008 at 6:58 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #28   Elisa

    Anyone who uses the word “classy” just isn’t.

    Sep 26, 2008 at 7:09 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #29   Goldie

    So what I’m getting out of this sign is that guys shouldn’t spray*, unless they want to be seen as classy and ladylike? With three guys in my household, I may have to move out.

    * – yeah, yeah. Bring it.

    Sep 26, 2008 at 7:24 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

     
  • #30   Woman on the Verge

    Um… I have a question about that dubious lower left corner photo. Is it
    a. a corpse – too much exlax is indeed a bad thing
    b. a woman reclining in glorious relief after pinching off a loaf, enjoying the scent
    c. a woman in ecstacy after masturbating in said bathroom – leaving an entirely different lingering odor

    Sep 26, 2008 at 7:31 am   rating: 11  small thumbs up

    • #30.1   Numinous bang

      I think it’s supposed to be:
      d. a woman fainting from the noxious odor someone else left behind.

      I know it can’t be c. because that doesn’t resemble me at all.

      Sep 26, 2008 at 8:09 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #30.2   claw71 bang

      Wait a minute…women poop? You mean that–it’s–an exit too!?!?! Oh dear…I think I need to take a shower….AND BRUSH MY TEETH!!!!

      *gag*

      Oh the horror…the horror

      Sep 26, 2008 at 9:32 am   rating: 21  small thumbs up

       
    • #30.3   RandyinReno

      Yes, Claw, I learned this just before I performed my first Dirty Sanchez. On the upside, women do not fart, they have panty burps.

      Sep 26, 2008 at 11:54 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #30.4   claw71 bang

      I’ve never done anything like the Dirty Sanchez…being a native son of Cleveland, I’ve always been more of a Steamer kind of guy.

      Sep 26, 2008 at 12:02 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #30.5   Bunnee

      If you have to brush your teeth, it sounds like you’re more of a salad man.

      Sep 26, 2008 at 1:54 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #31   nene

    Me thinks the note writer is to blame for all lingering odors, and is trying to lay blame on all others. They don’t make a spray for that kind of cover up.

    Sep 26, 2008 at 8:26 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

    • #31.1   HS

      First smeller, guilty feller…

      Sep 26, 2008 at 10:45 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #31.2   Cowgirlgraphics

      Whoever smelt it, delt it?

      Whoever detected it, must have ejected it?

      Oh, how I miss elementary school … the creativity was endless.

      Sep 26, 2008 at 11:02 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #31.3   secondsout bang

      I seem to recall having had this line of jokes on another note, a few months ago. The denier’s the supplier.

      Sep 26, 2008 at 11:50 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #31.4   RandyinReno

      The fox always smells his own hole first…

      Sep 26, 2008 at 11:55 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #32   Canthz_B bang

    Courtesy 101 is held at Studio 54.

    Sep 26, 2008 at 8:33 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #33   claw71 bang

    Anybody else thinking about that Cranberries hit single Linger? I am:

    You poo-ed, if you could return strike a match and let it burn, the smell would dissipate

    I’m sure, you don’t want to be rude, don’t have an attitude. It smells just like a fart but it’s ruined everyhting

    I swore, I swore I’d provide some spray but girl you walked away
    and you didn’t even wash your hands, and for that I will not stand
    It’s like some kind of game and you play it every day

    But I had had to pee. You know I went in right after you
    I saw poop on your finger
    ah ha ha ha
    did you have to let it linger
    did you have to…did you have to let it linger

    Sep 26, 2008 at 9:15 am   rating: 16  small thumbs up

    • #33.1   Lurker

      Marry me!

      Sep 26, 2008 at 9:41 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #33.2   claw71 bang

      I’m taken, Lurker, and if you have any respect for the remainder of your life you will run far and fast.

      Sep 26, 2008 at 12:05 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #33.3   Dare

      Married to your own ego?

      Sep 26, 2008 at 12:48 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #33.4   RunBarbara bang

      you’d think so, wouldn’t you, dare? between being one of the most popular members on this site and writing brilliant blogs, claw does have enough substance to feed his ego. his witty, intelligent responses woo tons of anonymous creepy internet folk to his harem where he dispenses the benevolence of The Python. too bad you dont know anything about that, though. on second thought- its better that you dont know anything about it, the less risk we have for herpes in the harem the better.

      Sep 26, 2008 at 1:06 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #33.5   Dare

      Zoinks! I guess sarcasm is lost on some people.

      Sep 26, 2008 at 1:14 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #33.6   RunBarbara bang

      your sarcasm wasn’t lost on me, it just wasn’t…whats the word? funny.

      Sep 26, 2008 at 1:15 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #33.7   claw71 bang

      …lost on some people…

      Yeah, like people who use expressions like “zoinks”.

      Sep 26, 2008 at 1:26 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #33.8   JoeInLA

      Careful, Dare. RunBarbara is a tough audience.

      Sep 26, 2008 at 4:09 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #33.9   se

      RB, why can’t my hair piece be in the hairem?

      Sep 26, 2008 at 4:23 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #33.10   Dare

      Well pardon me, I didn’t realize that we couldn’t poke fun at Claw 71. Can you find it in your heart to forgive me?

      Sep 26, 2008 at 4:36 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #33.11   claw71 bang

      I can’t, Dare. Not because you made fun of me but because it was just so predictable and unoriginal. This site deserves better. Your jab was not offensive to me personally but I feel that it was insulting to all of the great people who make this site such a pleasure to frequent.

      You see, Dare, I realize that it might seem that I am here for the sole purpose of stroking my ego but it only seems that way. In reality I serve a much nobler purpose. I spend a significant portion of my time on this site serving humanity with my wit and wisdom.

      There are those who would be happy to tell you how great I am, and what my efforts mean to them but claw71 is but a humble servant who derives great satisfaction in knowing that my sacrifice makes their lives a little better.

      No, I’m not a great man. I’m just doing what anybody else here would do if they possessed the tremendous gifts I have been given. It’s an honor and a privilege to do this.

      Sep 26, 2008 at 5:01 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
    • #33.12   Saysh bang

      Claw…

      *whispers*

      am *I* part of your harem???

      Sep 27, 2008 at 2:27 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #33.13   Weyrdkat

      Actually. . .your “nobler purpose” comes off A LOT like your ego you’re serving. Your attempt to explain yourself was a decent one, but unfortunately, it came off as jackass. Great job.

      Sep 28, 2008 at 1:20 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #33.14   Troy McClure bang

      Weyrdkat, do I understand correctly that you thought Claw wrote 33.11 in earnest? If you don’t mind my asking, how does a person like you end up at PAN? Is there any part of it that you do get?

      Sep 28, 2008 at 1:33 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #33.15   aaa

      When will people learn that nobody does anything seriously at PAN?

      Sep 28, 2008 at 1:37 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #33.16   Canthz_B bang

      Oh! Look, Weyrdkat, I found this broomstick up your ass!
      No need to thank me for nudging it in further. That was my pleasure. ;-)

      Sep 28, 2008 at 1:54 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #33.17   Numinous bang

      Why is it all these unpunctuated people think they have the right to take shots at Claw? Don’t they know you have to earn your stripes first?

      Methinks they’re trying to join the wrong end of the train.

      Sep 28, 2008 at 12:38 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #33.18   time_waster

      Good God!! I come on this site laughing my a** off, but now im totally sobered that there is a social ladder to this place. I am what is refered to as a ‘newb’ to this site, and this is hilarious, but really, Claw and his(?) disciples need to get over themselves.

      Nov 30, 2009 at 5:51 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #34   amy d bang

    According to meriam-webster, an aroma is usually a pleasant or savory smell. The note-writer obviously get off on the smell. They have a poo-rient obsession with it. That’s gross.

    Sep 26, 2008 at 9:27 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

    • #34.1   amy d bang

      Is there a code for that, CB?

      Sep 26, 2008 at 9:27 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #34.2   claw71 bang

      There are some foods that maintain their delectable aromatic qualities on the way out too, amy_d. KFC’s Orginal Recipe, Big Macs, carmelized onions, White Castle slyders…

      You know how sometimes you’re sitting in the office and you wonder who’s eating at 3:30 in the afternoon? Nobody’s eating.

      Sep 26, 2008 at 9:38 am   rating: 16  small thumbs up

       
    • #34.3   Canthz_B bang

      302.81 = Fetishism.

      Sep 26, 2008 at 9:43 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #34.4   Andy

      Another food that smells the same on the way out as it went in: Taco Bell!

      Though, admittedly, what went in was most probably something that went out of someone else.

      Sep 26, 2008 at 12:57 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #35   aaa

    The writer of this sign seems to forget that real ladies don’t have anuses.

    Sep 26, 2008 at 9:35 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

     
  • #36   Frankie bang

    They say “handling your business” I don’t necessarily “handle” mine.

    Sep 26, 2008 at 9:53 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #36.1   Canthz_B bang

      Giving new meaning to “Love Handles” for $1000, Alex…

      Sep 26, 2008 at 10:10 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #37   Canthz_B bang

    If you thought peanuts were bad, poo with handles is infinitely worse.

    Sep 26, 2008 at 10:17 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #37.1   Troy McClure bang

      Could be helpful, in cases of severe constipation.

      Sep 26, 2008 at 10:21 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #37.2   Canthz_B bang

      The Ron Popiel…”Grab it and forget it!” technique?!

      Sep 26, 2008 at 10:33 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #38   claw71 bang

    Spraying after one defecates is certainly a nice gesture but all too often it proves to be counter productive. There are a number of products that are not designed to neutralize odors but rather mask them with some sort of perfume. This perfume is aerated through a diffusing nozzle the essentially vaporizes mixture of floral scents, inert propellants and ethyl alcohol. The alcohol bonds with the molecules of whatever oils were used to create the desired scent in order to hold that scent in a gaseous state for a prolonged period of time.

    This is problematic when these odor masking compounds are used in a restroom in an attempt to cover the undesirable odors of feces. The fecal molecules in the air bond with the perfume and the ethyl alcohol creating a very offensive amalgamation that can readily drift through large areas on air indoor air currents. This phenomenon exacerbates the problem and tends to catch people by surprise as the olfactory senses often detect the floral notes first before the more offensive fecal material is detected.

    Sep 26, 2008 at 10:23 am   rating: 12  small thumbs up

    • #38.1   HS

      Please direct all inquiries of scientific explanations to claw71… :D

      Sep 26, 2008 at 10:48 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #38.2   Andy

      The newest article on wikipedia:

      Poop Transportation

      Related Links:
      1) Airborne Pathogens
      2) Toothbrush Storage
      3) The Mad Bomber
      4) The Courtesy Flush: Friend or Foe?
      5) So You Own a Private Island

      Sep 26, 2008 at 1:07 pm   rating: 13  small thumbs up

       
    • #38.3   Sheepish

      the air sanitizers in the washroom where i work have the warning on them:
      “For Industrial Use Only”
      i found this both interesting and disconcerting.

      Sep 26, 2008 at 2:21 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #38.4   snee bang

      i am also both interested and disconcerted.

      Sep 26, 2008 at 8:08 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #39   Dare

    If the writer of this note would remove the aromatic stick from her ass, perhaps she wouldn’t need to leave PAN for her officemates…

    Sep 26, 2008 at 11:16 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #40   CremeBrulee

    So, wait, now it’s shit, flush, wipe, flush, flush, spray?
    Or shit, spray, flush, wipe, flush, flush?
    Shit, flush, spray, wipe, flush, flush?
    There’s so much my mother didn’t teach me.

    Sep 26, 2008 at 11:22 am   rating: 9  small thumbs up

    • #40.1   Frankie bang

      It’s best to just cover all your bases. Just do this…
      Flush, Spray, Wipe(throw tp in trash), Flush, Shit, Flush, Wipe(throw the DAMN paper in the trash!), Spray.Flush.

      Sep 26, 2008 at 12:17 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #41   Sadi

    Pure Citrus Orange works well.

    Sep 26, 2008 at 12:28 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #42   Stringyhair

    Spraying any scent would be like admitting my shit does stink. It would crush my ego to admit otherwise.

    Sep 26, 2008 at 1:31 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #43   Nim

    Why does it seem that ppl are so offended by the fact that others actually crap in the bathroom and said crap might actually smell like crap? So… don’t hang out in the bathroom maybe?

    Sep 26, 2008 at 1:45 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #43.1   aaa

      WWAGD?

      What would Al Gore do? He certainly wouldn’t shit in the bathroom.

      Sep 26, 2008 at 1:50 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #43.2   CremeBrulee

      Biology 101: People shit. Shit stinks. Class dismissed.

      Sep 26, 2008 at 6:49 pm   rating: 13  small thumbs up

       
    • #43.3   HS

      Actually…..
      The smell of the shit is directly related to what you eat.
      If you are a raw fooder your shit will barely stink, if at all.
      Trust….
      So if you claim your shit don’t stink- you must only be eating copious amounts of raw foods.
      That is all. I will return to my dark corner now.

      Sep 27, 2008 at 10:07 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #44   aaa

    We are having small problem with there is a lot of co worker who put the poop in toilet. If you are having the poop, please do not have hap pit of the flush in toilets. The new toilets that are the install have lows flowing and can not flushing the poop. This is not expectable and the sprays to be cover poop aroma are the costings us money. Please be the responsible and to help us help you.

    Sep 26, 2008 at 2:07 pm   rating: 9  small thumbs up

     
  • #45   Fancy

    I totally just printed that sign out for our bathroom at work. You wouldn’t believe how bad the girls stink it up!

    Sep 26, 2008 at 2:27 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #46   JoeInLA

    Tried to be witty and then saw claw got there first. And couldn’t delete the damn comment!

    Sep 26, 2008 at 4:06 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #47   JoelWhy

    I’m guessing the odors were caused by all that used toilet paper being thrown into the trash can!

    Sep 26, 2008 at 6:28 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #48   snee bang

    the note’s submitter says that it appeared on each of the walls and stall doors. that’s Hard Core Stink Patrol! i just know someone is going to be singled out soon.

    dear marcie,
    you have failed “courtesy 101″. please use the men’s room from now on.

    Sep 26, 2008 at 8:17 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

    • #48.1   aaa

      At least these signs don’t have faces staring right at you. I’ve run across a few places that have ads taped to the insides of the stalls and they always seem to have young people staring at you while you crap. But I bet this sign would be more effective if they used it in conjunction with another sign saying “Big Brother is watching you shit.” with some communist-looking fella staring at you. Maybe. Maybe people will just take their shit elsewhere in that case…

      Sep 27, 2008 at 10:33 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #49   grumpygranolagirl

    I’m going to start leaving sunglasses in our workplace bathroom as a courtesy. Apparently some of the people I work with believe the sun shines directly from their asses.

    Sep 27, 2008 at 7:54 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #50   Chonny

    Seems I may have the solution for everyone here:

    http://www.justadrop.net

    Stay Classy!

    Sep 27, 2008 at 10:08 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #50.1   aaa

      For a second, I thought that was one of those fake products a la SNL…

      Sep 27, 2008 at 10:34 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #50.2   aaa

      The testimonials are right hilarious, though:

      “My 4 year old daughter religiously uses it. For her it works so well that I find myself checking to make sure she’s made a bowel movement. I never smell anything when she comes out of the bathroom!”

      Alexis Dawes, Editor “No More Smelly House”

      “OH MY GOD!!! We have had such a problem at work with people doing #2’s in the shared bathroom. The smell would linger out, and you can smell it in your office. YOUR product is AWESOME!!!

      Arpita G., Flushing, NY

      “This product really works! I am the sole female in a house of 5, and I really appreciate the usefulness of your product. Thanks!”

      Lisa V., Murrieta, CA

      Sep 27, 2008 at 10:39 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #50.3   Mishee bang

      aaa – you think those testimonials are funny… you should check out this one:

      http://www.divacup.com/?p=en/testimonials/

      But we covered that in a thread many moons ago… you just reminded me of it.

      (btw, I love that “Arpita G.” is from “Flushing” NY – how appropriate! LOL!)

      Sep 27, 2008 at 11:30 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #50.4   aaa

      Ugh, I don’t even want to click the link since I know that Diva Cups are the Al Gore-approved way of dealing with menstruation.

      The whole idea of the product creeps me out. I don’t want to reuse anything that’s been basting in blood, even if it is my own. Yargh…

      Sep 27, 2008 at 11:59 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #50.5   aaa

      Okay, this one really creeps me out…

      Cara, Waterloo, ON
      Believe it or not, my father was the first person in my family to read about The DivaCup in a newspaper article, and suggested that his four daughters and wife read the article as well.

      Sep 27, 2008 at 12:00 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #50.6   Mishee bang

      Cara must be lucky to have such a close family.

      Ew.

      Sep 27, 2008 at 12:30 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #50.7   aaa

      Being concerned with your daughters’ vaginas is way too close. Ew plus.

      Sep 27, 2008 at 12:57 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #51   Logical

    LMAO a big mexican dinner

    http://andthisismyamerica.com/2008/09/27/someone-help-me-before-i-choke-this-bitch/

    Sep 27, 2008 at 10:13 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #52   Joey

    #1 washing hands is important, but if we keep using super anti-bacterial soaps and instant sanitizer we are going to create an immune super-germ!
    #2 The diva cup is EXTREMELY CREEPY and disgusting. Ugh… Al Gore.
    #3 And finally Just a Drop cracks me up!! “No more smelly house!” ;)

    Sep 28, 2008 at 4:09 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #53   fantasy bang

    The “lady” in the lower left hand corner looks more like a transient that wandered in lookin’ for a place to so she could be Huffin’ her spray paint, Lysol could never put that look of ecstasy on anyone’s face.

    That Lysol shit stinks worse than shit!!

    Sep 28, 2008 at 5:21 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #54   wait

    if these people insist on handling their business, wouldn’t it be more appropriate to suggest some vigorous hand-washing?

    Sep 29, 2008 at 2:37 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #55   Lindsey

    Leaving odors in the bathroom, “not classy or ladylike”…. making that sign, oh so very classy and definitely done by a true lady

    Sep 29, 2008 at 2:39 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #56   Mudhooks

    I would much prefer that when they are done “handling their business” my co-workers wash their hands…. Of course, I also don’t consider “handling your business” to be either “ladylike” or “classy”.

    Nov 10, 2008 at 11:34 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #56.1   time_waster

      can ladies even “handle their buisness” in the first place?

      Nov 30, 2009 at 12:43 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #57   how many wonders can one cavern hold?

    [...] related: i’ll tell you what’s classy, though [...]

    Feb 4, 2009 at 6:31 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #58   Corvid

    Air freshener causes asthma attacks for some of us.

    And migraines for others.

    People who spray air freshener are the ones with no consideration for others. At least the smell of shit doesn’t cause people to die or be hospitalized from closed bronchial tubes (I know you selfish idiots THINK it will, but trust me, it won’t).

    Mar 23, 2009 at 5:28 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #59   KillingTimeWithPAN

    Bathroom spray works 60% of the time, all the time.

    Sep 23, 2010 at 9:38 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #60   CL

    Maybe they need to invite the “mad bomber” to this washroom to teach the bitchy note-writer a thing or two about “aromas.”

    Mar 7, 2011 at 5:11 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     

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