just one question

September 28th, 2008 · 116 comments

related: seriously!?!

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FILED UNDER: confusion??? · family · food · office · ontario · signed with love · texas

116 responses so far ↓

#1 Quite Contrary

Dear Sean,

No, I’m not retarded. Just hungover.

Love,
Peter

Sep 28, 2008 at 6:41 pm rating: +13

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- #1.1 Claire
  
  Dear Sean,
  
  Define retarded.
  
  Love,
  Peter
  
  Sep 28, 2008 at 11:14 pm rating: +6
- #1.2 Theresa
  
  Retarded in what respect, Sean?
  
  Sep 29, 2008 at 9:38 am rating: +1
- #1.3 aims
  
  No, your retarded!
  Peter……………..
  Or is that, your retarded peter…………
  
  Sep 29, 2008 at 4:34 pm rating: +1
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#2 Canthz_B

That cupcake must have seriously sucked. “Why?!?”, because it was baked by a retard.

Sep 28, 2008 at 6:45 pm rating: +1

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- #2.1 Claire
  
  Peter is not retarded…obviously he is preparing for his art exhibit at the Art Institute in Chicago…”Kitchen Mess”
  
  Sep 28, 2008 at 11:13 pm rating: +8
- #2.2 Claire
  
  Obviously, CB, that cupcake was fucking NOT delicious…..
  
  Sep 28, 2008 at 11:14 pm rating: +6
- #2.3 Canthz_B
  
  Hmm, I thought I already said it wasn’t delicious.
  You get to wear the unitard inside out for that one, Claire!
  
  Sep 28, 2008 at 11:53 pm rating: 0
- #2.4 aaa
  
  Aw, but the seams will all be on the outside and they won’t chafe her skin!
  
  Sep 29, 2008 at 12:23 am rating: 0
- #2.5 eureeka
  
  I agree. It’s a damn cupcake. No one takes one bite of a cupcake and then leaves it, unless it’s just horrifically bad. A cupcake practically IS one bite when you love cupcakes, which everyone does.
  
  Sep 29, 2008 at 7:46 am rating: +1
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#3 cucumber

Maybe he’s working on an art deco compost pile, geez. Some people are so presumptive!

Sep 28, 2008 at 6:45 pm rating: 0

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#4 Canthz_B

21st Century apple-coring is an art form worthy of praise.
Don’t knock it until you’ve tried it.

Sep 28, 2008 at 6:48 pm rating: 0

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#5 Denagh

One word can say so very much. I LOVE the fork in the cupcake. And yeah I worry about Peter’s lack of mind power…..

Sep 28, 2008 at 7:07 pm rating: +2

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#6 Obstreperous B

So, is the “Seriously?” in reference to the apple core’s location, or its perfect cylindricality?

Sep 28, 2008 at 7:07 pm rating: +11

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#7 borninahandbag

The cupcake reminds me of something my old roommate did once, which I failed to document:

After someone left a large quantity of crumbs on the kitchen counter for a day or so, she left a post-it note that read, “why” next to the crumbs… having shaped said crumbs into a question mark.

Sep 28, 2008 at 7:08 pm rating: +37

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- #7.1 Quite Contrary
  
  That sounds like something my old roommate would have done. It really fits considering that she was behind the note that the cat allegedly wrote to me asking me to clean the litter box.
  
  Sep 28, 2008 at 9:41 pm rating: +4
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#8 Canthz_B

Retarded, Sean?
With a name like Smucker’s, it has to be good!

–Peter

Sep 28, 2008 at 7:09 pm rating: +4

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#9 summer

I don’t care, that apple was fucking delicious!

Sep 28, 2008 at 7:18 pm rating: 0

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- #9.1 BurstingAtTheSeams
  
  I know what’s coming about the unitard, but I don’t know the history. I know, I know, Michelle ate her roomie’s bread that was fucking delicious, and some manager was getting onto his employees about their unitards. But how or when did these two things become inter-related? Please explain!
  
  The suspense is making me nervous annd jittery.
  
  Sep 28, 2008 at 7:25 pm rating: +1
- #9.2 Ricehead
  
  I second this unitard enlightenment program.
  
  Sep 28, 2008 at 7:43 pm rating: +2
- #9.3 aaa
  
  Because no punishment is better than a unitard for a dead, cliched phrase like “fucking delicious.”
  
  Sep 28, 2008 at 7:46 pm rating: +4
- #9.4 Wade
  
  *sigh*
  
  If you will look over there under “Greatest Hits”
  
  you will see a link labeled “the unitard”.
  
  Click on it and read the comments.
  
  Sep 28, 2008 at 7:56 pm rating: +3
- #9.5 Canthz_B
  
  BTW, summer, put it on. You’ve earned it.
  
  Sep 28, 2008 at 8:18 pm rating: +2
- #9.6 BurstingAtTheSeams
  
  Quoting from GhostWriter way back when (in reference to the future use of all things unitard):
  
  This hidden gem screams for recurrence, as in:
  “Mishee, that was your fifth typo today- now you must wear the unitard!”
  Join the campaign to unseat “fucking delicious” in 2008!
  
  Consider ourselves enlightened.
  
  Sep 28, 2008 at 8:20 pm rating: +3
- #9.7 Canthz_B
  
  In the interest of full PANlightenment, and also quoting GW referring to Troy’s comment:
  
  “I think we have to go with the secret meaning, “You are Untruth’s wet maid”…”
  
  for the true meaning of wearing the Unitard.
  
  Sep 28, 2008 at 8:44 pm rating: +2
- #9.8 GhostWriter
  
  For any review of classic Unitard moments, we must not forget:
  Cassandra’s Bowie’s Multimedia Masterpiece
  
  Sound & Vision, indeed!
  
  Sep 29, 2008 at 10:31 am rating: 0
- #9.9 D
  
  That unitard was fucking delicious?
  
  Sep 30, 2008 at 5:10 pm rating: 0
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#10 BurstingAtTheSeams

Why is there a wet halo around the apple? That’s what I’d like to know. Seriously!

Sep 28, 2008 at 7:20 pm rating: +1

reply to this comment
- #10.1 Canthz_B
  
  Um, apple juice?
  
  Sep 28, 2008 at 7:43 pm rating: +1
- #10.2 aaa
  
  Don’t you know that we all pee ourselves when we die? Apples are no exception.
  
  Sep 28, 2008 at 7:46 pm rating: +51
- #10.3 Canthz_B
  
  Some day “The Shroud of Apple” will be worth a fortune because of that stain.
  
  Sep 28, 2008 at 7:58 pm rating: +17
- #10.4 0falcon8
  
  the apple core is weeping because it knows that it was placed on a paper towel that was clearly meant to be used in the bathroom, not the kitchen
  
  Sep 28, 2008 at 10:09 pm rating: +27
- #10.5 Claire
  
  Well, thank gawd, ofalcon8, that the toothbrushes were safely in the bathroom when this fruity faux pas was committed…eww! Did the apple get fecal matter upon it before or after being consumed?
  
  Sep 28, 2008 at 11:18 pm rating: 0
- #10.6 GhostWriter
  
  Rube 1: “Where’d that weird apple stain come from?”
  
  Rube 2: “…in cider, apparently!“
  
  Sep 29, 2008 at 10:35 am rating: +3
- #10.7 Holiday Djinn
  
  Nothing could be finer than a nice Dicken’s Cider.
  
  Sep 29, 2008 at 1:29 pm rating: +2
- #10.8 secondsout
  
  Even the preacher’s wife likes a little Dickens’ Cider.
  
  Sep 29, 2008 at 1:36 pm rating: +1
- #10.9 amy d
  
  Even though I’ve read comment “10 several times snce yesterday and know exactly what it really says, my mind keeps insisting that it says:
  
  Why is there a wet halo around the nipple?
  
  Sep 29, 2008 at 4:27 pm rating: 0
- #10.10 aims
  
  When you cut an apple with that cool eight section apple cutter from Bed Bath and Beyond, you get that perfectly round core—ever notice that core is exactly the size of the hole in the center of your garbage disposer?
  
  Sep 29, 2008 at 4:39 pm rating: 0
- #10.11 aaa
  
  Yeah, but those apple sectioner and corer things are unitaskers, and the only unitasker in the kitchen should be the fire extinguisher.
  
  Go Alton Brown.
  
  Sep 29, 2008 at 4:58 pm rating: +3
- #10.12 Jahzzie
  
  Go team Alton Brown!!!
  
  (looks out for CB and Mish with the unitards)
  
  Oct 1, 2008 at 6:32 pm rating: 0
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#11 summer

so…striped arrows indicate anger?!?!

Sep 28, 2008 at 7:20 pm rating: +3

reply to this comment
- #11.1 Claire
  
  In abnormal psychology 101, we learned that if a person has doodles featuring arrows, it indicates a desire for sex…or is that an anger that there is not enough sex?
  
  Sep 28, 2008 at 11:20 pm rating: 0
- #11.2 jackie31337
  
  I wonder what it means that I’ve adopted arrows to indicate “action items” in my notes whenever we have a team meeting at work, then….
  
  Sep 29, 2008 at 3:41 am rating: +3
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#12 Shannon

I have a sudden urge to go on a date with this Sean dude.

Sep 28, 2008 at 7:56 pm rating: +4

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- #12.1 Quite Contrary
  
  Why?
  
  Imagine this question on a blue post it note with a striped question mark.
  
  Sep 28, 2008 at 9:42 pm rating: +1
- #12.2 Sean
  
  Single and available. Totally into anonymous chicks on the Internets!
  
  I am the same Sean who left the note, though, honestly. Don’t make me prove it by doing the line! Peter is my brother and had the bad habit of leaving inexplicable messes everywhere - jam upside-down, enormous balls of wadded, chewed, sloppy gum left on wooden surfaces, miscellaneous goo on the carpet, tea bags in the sink…
  
  I just started to wonder. But it’s great having him around. He made our house a (group) home.
  
  Sep 28, 2008 at 10:09 pm rating: +12
- #12.3 0falcon8
  
  better to have tea bags in the sink than in your mouth!
  
  Sep 28, 2008 at 10:13 pm rating: +4
- #12.4 Claire
  
  “Peter had”, Sean? Did you eventually break your brother of this habit of leaving messes or is he no longer allowed indoors…
  
  Ooh, I hope he does not “handle his business”
  
  Sep 28, 2008 at 11:23 pm rating: 0
- #12.5 Troy McClure
  
  This internet attraction
  May blossom into passion
  And hopefully
  We’ll get to see
  Some Sean-on-Shannon action
  
  Sep 29, 2008 at 6:14 am rating: +12
- #12.6 Goldie
  
  Tea bags in the sink? No wonder you speak of poor Peter in past tense. Let me guess - the garbage disposal was on.
  
  Sep 29, 2008 at 9:26 am rating: 0
- #12.7 Goldie
  
  I have two teenage boys and the Sean/Peter note looked like a lot of the ones I find around my house. You can just feel the brotherly love. I’m probably too old to date you, Sean, but you did make me miss my children. *sniffle*
  
  Sep 29, 2008 at 9:28 am rating: 0
- #12.8 GhostWriter
  
  Sean, you had us at, “…enormous balls.”
  
  Sep 29, 2008 at 10:37 am rating: +9
- #12.9 bobby
  
  sounds more like a project than a habit, sean
  
  Sep 29, 2008 at 2:37 pm rating: 0
- #12.10 JoeInLA
  
  “better to have tea bags in the sink than in your mouth!”
  
  Speak for yourself, ofalcon8 (although I also enjoy them resting on my eyes).
  
  Sep 29, 2008 at 7:02 pm rating: 0
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#13 fantasy

I totally can relate to the cupcake note.

I say if something isn’t “Excellent” then it just isn’t worth it. The cupcake most assuredly was frosted with canned frosting and made with a crappy mix. Now may I ask, “Would you finish it”?

If it is not made with real buttercream frosting, it is surely lacking!

Sep 28, 2008 at 8:02 pm rating: +1

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#14 fantasy

Seriously?

I just love perfect apple cores, they are a work of art.

Apples come to us perfectly made and we should give them the respect they deserve by leaving them perfectly cored!

Sep 28, 2008 at 8:08 pm rating: 0

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#15 JesFoolin

Unless someone’s left a brown snake on the table, I think it would be easier to toss it than write the PAN. Although there is a bit of poetry whenever one uses the rhetorical “Are you retarded?” Limerick anyone?

Sep 28, 2008 at 8:08 pm rating: 0

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- #15.1 BurstingAtTheSeams
  
  I once had some roommates
  who sure were bad fuckers.
  They would put up their bread
  but leave out their Smuckers!
  
  Take it from me:
  It’s best to emote
  not with your mouth
  but through a note.
  
  So I sucked in my anger
  And then I got started
  I pressed the pen hard
  and wrote: “Are you retarded?”
  
  Sep 28, 2008 at 8:32 pm rating: +26
- #15.2 0falcon8
  
  there were three questions posited sarcastically
  regarding three food items left hapazardly
  an apple stripped to the core,
  a cupcake with one bite and no more,
  and some jam left by a retard, unabashedly
  
  Sep 28, 2008 at 10:48 pm rating: +25
- #15.3 sizeXS
  
  Is this brown snake any relation to the albino python?
  
  Sep 29, 2008 at 9:37 pm rating: 0
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#16 fantasy

What Adam said to Eve.

“Seriously? Do you really think you should have done that? Here let me show you how to do it right!” So we now have the perfectly cored Apple!

Moral of story, “It wasn’t all Eve’s doing”!

Sep 28, 2008 at 8:14 pm rating: +2

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#17 fantasy

Sure does look like Peter could screw up someone’s perfectly good morning.

He is not worth a PA note. You have to really get your point across with a dumbass like him.

I would have took the time to scrape what was left of that jam into one of his favorite pair of shoes! Dumb retard! He probably wouldn’t even notice.

Sep 28, 2008 at 8:26 pm rating: 0

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#18 Canthz_B

That’s not an apple core, it’s “Bill” from Schoolhouse Rock!
I thought he’d be a Law by now.

Sep 28, 2008 at 8:27 pm rating: +22

painfully polite and hilariously hostile writings from shared spaces the world over

just one question

September 28th, 2008 · 116 comments

116 responses so far ↓