jenny says these notes have started showing up in several of the bathroom stalls in her freshman dorm at oberlin college. as far she knows, jenny says, none of her fellow frosh have taken the custodians up on their suggestion…but who knows what’ll happen once parents’ weekend rolls around?
so, president krislov… care to comment?
related: you might want to take a hard look at your washcloth first
93 responses so far ↓
#1
claw71
I’m quite familiar with Oberlin College and I don’t know why a paucity of toilet paper would be a problem seeing as how most students, faculty and alumni seem to be under the impression that their shit simply does not stink.
Oct 1, 2008 at 9:05 am rating: +51
#2
Red Letterboxer
Dear Mr. President,
Your employee suggested that I beg you, since he’s tired of doing it. So, please, please, please bring one (1) roll of toilet tissue to me in stall # 3 at 4:15pm.
Thank you.
Oct 1, 2008 at 9:06 am rating: +34
#3
amy d
Transcription of an e-mail to The President of Oberlin College:
Sir, there is not any toilet paper in the freshman dorm bathrooms. I have been waiting in here for hours. Could you please come and wipe my ass?
Oct 1, 2008 at 9:09 am rating: +28
#4
Dare
This is a preventative measure to insure there is no clogging. If they had properly disposed their TP in the designated bins, the toilet paper would not be withheld.
Oct 1, 2008 at 9:13 am rating: +12
#5
K Dog
How cool would it be if we all e-mailed this stingy bastard?
Oct 1, 2008 at 9:23 am rating: +15
#6
Jackie
They pulled this on the apartments/dorms @ my college. The TP from the academic buildings, libraries, administrative buildings all started disappearing at an incredible rate.
Oct 1, 2008 at 9:34 am rating: +4
#7
Sheepish
can’t someone spare a square?
Oct 1, 2008 at 9:40 am rating: +12
#8
bellabeastie
Question - if there is, in fact, no toilet paper how do you use it at your own risk?
Inquiring minds want know-what is the future without toilet paper?
Oct 1, 2008 at 9:44 am rating: +3
#9
Holiday Djinn
Seriously, get over it.
When i went to college, the toilet paper was replaced at a very slow pace.
Our solution? The biology labs were just across the mall. Not more than 50 yards (Small mall, small college) from the men’s Freshman dorm. With about 15 of the 30 or so men on the floor taking Bio 101 we really never had a problem with toilet paper.
2 of the easiest things to find in life for free are toilet paper and food. sheesh.
Oct 1, 2008 at 9:44 am rating: +1
#10
Ryan
In the future, please write your notes on copious amount of two-ply toilet paper so your words can be put to proper use
Power to the People
Oct 1, 2008 at 9:46 am rating: +7
#11
First True Sign of a Scarcity in Commodities / Jossip
[...] in point: The signs in the restroom at Oberlin College: [...]
Oct 1, 2008 at 9:47 am rating: +1
#12
claw71
I think toilet paper shortages are the norm in college. Being resourceful I learned how to improvise, adapt and overcome. There were options. Generally there was always unattended clothing in the laundry room and if that wasn’t feasible there was usually some religiot on campus more than eager to hand you a copy of the Bible. Granted the gilded pages aren’t as absorbent as you’d like them to be but there was something fulfilling about wiping your ass with Leviticus. They say cleanliness is next to godliness and there’s no time that’s truer than when you’re finishing off a deuce with a couple of chapters ripped right out of the good book.
Oct 1, 2008 at 10:28 am rating: +35
#13
Wade
If this is like any other college, there is no need to call the President about the mysterious toilet paper shortage in the freshman dorm. Just walk over to his residence. I’m confident you will find plenty of toilet paper festooning his trees.
Oct 1, 2008 at 10:28 am rating: +17
#14
Mishee
Methinks a custodian’s strike is a’brewin’…
I mean, its painful enough to have to actually live in OHIO… but to be forced to work under those kind of conditions? I mean… really… this isn’t Communist China!
Oct 1, 2008 at 10:28 am rating: +2
#15
Frankie
So, WHY DiD tHiS GUY fEEl tHE nEED tO jUsT RaNDoMly uSE CApitoL LetterS? I don’t get it.
Oct 1, 2008 at 10:31 am rating: +4
#16
secondsout
Maybe Oberlin’s dorms feature bidets. No need to have toilet paper, when you have an ass fountain.
Oct 1, 2008 at 10:56 am rating: +12
#17
secondsout
Remember, when visiting Oberlin college, don’t shake the hand of any of the students. You’re never sure just how they got their asses clean.
Oct 1, 2008 at 10:57 am rating: +7