Jenny says these notes have started showing up in several of the bathroom stalls in her freshman dorm at Oberlin College. As far she knows, none of her fellow frosh have taken the custodians up on their suggestion…but who knows what’ll happen once Parents’ Weekend rolls around?
So, President Krislov… care to comment?
related: You might want to take a hard look at your washcloth first
94 responses so far ↓
#1
claw71
I’m quite familiar with Oberlin College and I don’t know why a paucity of toilet paper would be a problem seeing as how most students, faculty and alumni seem to be under the impression that their shit simply does not stink.
Oct 1, 2008 at 9:05 am rating: 77
#2
Red Letterboxer
Dear Mr. President,
Your employee suggested that I beg you, since he’s tired of doing it. So, please, please, please bring one (1) roll of toilet tissue to me in stall # 3 at 4:15pm.
Thank you.
Oct 1, 2008 at 9:06 am rating: 49
#3
amy d
Transcription of an e-mail to The President of Oberlin College:
Sir, there is not any toilet paper in the freshman dorm bathrooms. I have been waiting in here for hours. Could you please come and wipe my ass?
Oct 1, 2008 at 9:09 am rating: 40
#4
Dare
This is a preventative measure to insure there is no clogging. If they had properly disposed their TP in the designated bins, the toilet paper would not be withheld.
Oct 1, 2008 at 9:13 am rating: 14
#5
K Dog
How cool would it be if we all e-mailed this stingy bastard?
Oct 1, 2008 at 9:23 am rating: 20
#6
Jackie
They pulled this on the apartments/dorms @ my college. The TP from the academic buildings, libraries, administrative buildings all started disappearing at an incredible rate.
Oct 1, 2008 at 9:34 am rating: 5
#7
Sheepish
can’t someone spare a square?
Oct 1, 2008 at 9:40 am rating: 17
#8
bellabeastie
Question – if there is, in fact, no toilet paper how do you use it at your own risk?
Inquiring minds want know-what is the future without toilet paper?
Oct 1, 2008 at 9:44 am rating: 3
#9
Holiday Djinn
Seriously, get over it.
When i went to college, the toilet paper was replaced at a very slow pace.
Our solution? The biology labs were just across the mall. Not more than 50 yards (Small mall, small college) from the men’s Freshman dorm. With about 15 of the 30 or so men on the floor taking Bio 101 we really never had a problem with toilet paper.
2 of the easiest things to find in life for free are toilet paper and food. sheesh.
Oct 1, 2008 at 9:44 am rating: 1
#10
Ryan
In the future, please write your notes on copious amount of two-ply toilet paper so your words can be put to proper use
Power to the People
Oct 1, 2008 at 9:46 am rating: 7
#11
claw71
I think toilet paper shortages are the norm in college. Being resourceful I learned how to improvise, adapt and overcome. There were options. Generally there was always unattended clothing in the laundry room and if that wasn’t feasible there was usually some religiot on campus more than eager to hand you a copy of the Bible. Granted the gilded pages aren’t as absorbent as you’d like them to be but there was something fulfilling about wiping your ass with Leviticus. They say cleanliness is next to godliness and there’s no time that’s truer than when you’re finishing off a deuce with a couple of chapters ripped right out of the good book.
Oct 1, 2008 at 10:28 am rating: 38
#12
Wade
If this is like any other college, there is no need to call the President about the mysterious toilet paper shortage in the freshman dorm. Just walk over to his residence. I’m confident you will find plenty of toilet paper festooning his trees.
Oct 1, 2008 at 10:28 am rating: 24
#13
Mishee
Methinks a custodian’s strike is a’brewin’…
I mean, its painful enough to have to actually live in OHIO… but to be forced to work under those kind of conditions? I mean… really… this isn’t Communist China!
Oct 1, 2008 at 10:28 am rating: 2
#14
Frankie
So, WHY DiD tHiS GUY fEEl tHE nEED tO jUsT RaNDoMly uSE CApitoL LetterS? I don’t get it.
Oct 1, 2008 at 10:31 am rating: 4
#15
secondsout
Maybe Oberlin’s dorms feature bidets. No need to have toilet paper, when you have an ass fountain.
Oct 1, 2008 at 10:56 am rating: 12
#16
secondsout
Remember, when visiting Oberlin college, don’t shake the hand of any of the students. You’re never sure just how they got their asses clean.
Oct 1, 2008 at 10:57 am rating: 9
#17
Captain Dick
At least the custodians are given sign-making supplies.
Oct 1, 2008 at 11:11 am rating: 19
#18
nuttinhunny
If the custodians have to beg for their supplies, no wonder there is no toilet paper!
Oct 1, 2008 at 11:26 am rating: 0
#19
Joe
The mix of upper- and lower-case letters is baffling…though, at least every i is clear.
Oct 1, 2008 at 11:43 am rating: 0
#20
Mishee
Perhaps The President of Oberlin College should email Jody and find out more about Organic Composting Facilities.
Oct 1, 2008 at 12:02 pm rating: 2
#21
Canthz_B
Oberlin College doesn’t play “Pomp and Circumstance” at Commencement.
They play that old camp standard “Stranded on the toilet bowl”!
Oct 1, 2008 at 12:03 pm rating: 0
#22
Canthz_B
Laptop…………….Check
Hair dryer………..Check
IPod………………..Check
TP from Costco…Check
OK, Mom, I’m off to college!
Oct 1, 2008 at 12:24 pm rating: 6
#23
Canthz_B
Eyewitness News Special Report:
Tree surgeons continue to search for the cause of the mysterious defoliation of the Oberlin College Campus.
Oct 1, 2008 at 12:38 pm rating: 11
#24
thirty six red
MAARRRVINNN!!!
His name says it all.
Feckin’ Marvin.
Oct 1, 2008 at 12:54 pm rating: 0
#25
Canthz_B
Please do not waste toilet paper…we are a conservatory here at Oberlin.
Oct 1, 2008 at 1:12 pm rating: 2
#26
Frankie
I bet if bringing in TP got you extra credit that place would never run out. That’s how we did it in our grade schools and highschool where I came from. I couldn’t tell you how many kids I know that are working a job with their names on their shirts, have about 20 kids, can’t spell their own names, and think that drinking and shooting is a sport. But they graduated highschool in the top percentile of the class. No Child Left Behind. Good stuff right?
Oct 1, 2008 at 4:32 pm rating: 1
#27
StorminNorman
That’s just too funny. What isn’t so funny is the fact that the note is spelled correctly. Makes me think the janitor is an alum. OTOH, with the help of unions, he probably makes more than half the Oberlin grads.
Oct 1, 2008 at 4:34 pm rating: 0
#28
Woman on the Verge
So why are there so many of these signs? I would think students would be using them to wipe their asses and then depositing them on the Prez’s front steps….
Oct 1, 2008 at 4:56 pm rating: 2
#29
Jessica
Actually, I’m pretty impressed by the chutzpah of this janitor. STICK IT TO THE MAN.
Oct 1, 2008 at 5:23 pm rating: 3
#30
Jane
Where is Nancy Dye when you need her?!
Oct 1, 2008 at 9:06 pm rating: 4
#31
PandoraWilde
Well, if there’s college students with the balls to go trick-or-treating, you know what to put in their pillowcases, right?
Oct 2, 2008 at 1:36 am rating: 1
#32
Alum
I spent four years at Oberlin. Waste of money. And the students have their heads so far up their asses they never have to crap anyway.
Oct 2, 2008 at 9:06 am rating: 4
#33
A$$ MASSUH
Dear Prez…
Along with the paperwork, could you throw in some Ronny Raygun thinking caps too?
Oct 2, 2008 at 1:19 pm rating: 0
#34
anonymous oberlin upperclassperson
fucking freshmen, clogging up the toilets. the rest of the dorms are doing fine.
Oct 2, 2008 at 3:43 pm rating: 0
#35
bee
i guarantee– the missing toilet paper is over at Harkness…
Oct 2, 2008 at 4:14 pm rating: 5
#36 (That's what she said.) | PassiveAggressiveNotes.com — funny (if not necessarily "passive-aggressive") notes from pissed-off people
[...] related: At Oberlin, that $48,000 a year doesn’t include toilet paper. [...]
May 18, 2010 at 7:31 pm rating: 0
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