…well, you know how it goes.
Meanwhile, in Melbourne…
And in London…
…a saucy variation on a much-photographed placard from London’s Soho:
But my favorite sign was spotted by Nick at a backpacker’s hostel in Rio:
related: The whore of West Babylon
Listing in Now Magazine’s adult classifieds: $70. Revenge?
October 6th, 2008 · 76 comments
FILED UNDER: "customer service" · Australia · Canada · Melbourne · Rio de Janeiro · sex sex sex · Toronto
76 responses so far ↓
#1
zchamu
I wonder if the Panda motel gives them a kickback.
Oct 6, 2008 at 9:39 am rating: 90
#2
myke
that prostitution was fucking delicious.
Oct 6, 2008 at 9:39 am rating: 90
#3
amy d
There’s an address I can’t frequent. I guess it’s good to know in advance where you aren’t welcome.
Oct 6, 2008 at 9:43 am rating: 90
#4
amy d
What if I’m right-handed?
Oct 6, 2008 at 9:45 am rating: 90
#5
bean
my left hand?! Do you mean to tell me I’ve been doing it wrong this whole time?
Oct 6, 2008 at 9:45 am rating: 90
#6
J0sie
I stayed at the Panda once and really recommend it. I didn’t realize I’d run out of cash until after the bellhop had brought my bags to the room. Luckily he accepted my offer for… other services… instead of a tip. He even gave me some cash to tip the room service guy with.
Oct 6, 2008 at 9:55 am rating: 90
#7
snee
“erotic relaxation” is my very favourite kind of relaxation.
Oct 6, 2008 at 10:10 am rating: 90
#8
GhostWriter
The last note is simply a translation error. Our notewriter obviously mistranslated “panda bear” from its scientific classification, ailuropoda melanoleuca…
No, wait! there’s a joke here…
Ailuropoda melanoleuca literally translates to, “black-and-white cat foot” which the notewriter accidentally transformed into, “back and white cathouse streetwalkers” which, of course, leads to the term, “prostitutes”. The note actually intended to direct pandas to their own hotel.
See how funny?
Oct 6, 2008 at 10:27 am rating: 90
#9
snee
this is not a brothel!
the scantily clad women of ill-repute you see lying about are sluts, not whores.
Oct 6, 2008 at 10:48 am rating: 90
#10
Dare
I am so sick and tired of these places telling me what they don’t do! Tell us what you are willing to do and be proud of it damnit! This world needs less whiners and more doers!
Hmmm, course, with the previous statement, I was just whining. Damn this vicious circle!
On that note, “Look kids, Big Ben! Parliament!”
Oct 6, 2008 at 11:24 am rating: 90
#11
claw71
I see notes like this all the time. Around the house. You know, you ask for anal one time…
Oct 6, 2008 at 11:53 am rating: 90
#12
GhostWriter
Damn- if it wasn’t for that note taped over the door grating, I would find the M. C. Escher-like pattern erotically relaxing.
Oct 6, 2008 at 11:54 am rating: 90
#13
claw71
In my experience prostitutes very rarely “come” so I think the last note only applies to that tiny percentage who really enjoy their work.
Oct 6, 2008 at 12:00 pm rating: 90
#14
Andy
Backpacker’s hostel in Rio, I am so relieved to see you share the same disdain for prostitutes that I harbor. I will proceed without hesitation to the suggested Panda Motel to bathe in certain moral righteousness. I’m in your debt.
Oct 6, 2008 at 12:38 pm rating: 90
#15
secondsout
NOW magazine? Isn’t that the National Organization for Women? It’s about time the feminists lightened up and allowed advertising for erotic services in their magazine.
Oct 6, 2008 at 1:45 pm rating: 90
#16
Pazookie
“If you have to knock, you don’t belong here…? Well, that will keep the in-laws away!
Oct 6, 2008 at 1:46 pm rating: 90
#17
secondsout
This place won’t let the prostitutes come? Just the johns, apparently.
Oct 6, 2008 at 1:54 pm rating: 90
#18
secondsout
So if I just walk in without knocking at place #1, there might be a handjob in it for me? Sweet!
Oct 6, 2008 at 1:55 pm rating: 90
#19
Holiday Djinn
Mishee, was it a long walk to the Panda Motel?
Oct 6, 2008 at 3:04 pm rating: 90
#20
HS
to the hostel in rio-
You said we couldn’t come upstairs, so it must be OK in the downstairs? The Panda has been getting a lot of business lately; we need more rooms…
-sincerely,
a forbidden prostitute from the upstairs
Oct 6, 2008 at 3:16 pm rating: 90
#21
ansco
all of the prostitutes go to the Panda, that place must be real nice
Oct 6, 2008 at 6:23 pm rating: 90
#22
Violet
Hahaha! I love that they had signs professionally made. I want one, if only for the giggle factor.
Oct 6, 2008 at 7:15 pm rating: 90
#23
Jane
I recently saw a sign outside an apartment building in Tokyo that said (in Japanese) “Foreigners and prostitutes welcome.”
Oct 6, 2008 at 9:18 pm rating: 90
#24
lex
um these are fake? At least the first two, Not impressed.
Oct 7, 2008 at 7:10 am rating: 90
#25
DirtyOldLady
See, advertising with a negative (i.e. “This is not a brothel” or “there are no prostitutes here”) isn’t really effective. It would be better to state it positively (i.e. “this is a House of Ill Fame” or “All of our ladies of the evening are ladies”).
Just a suggestion.
Oct 7, 2008 at 7:15 am rating: 90
#26
Sloper
Wait, this isn’t a brothel? Well, I guess I have egg on my face for showing up without pants, then.
Oct 7, 2008 at 3:15 pm rating: 90
#27
Sloper
Also, thanks for the tip, but I’m really not that into pandas. Really.
Oct 7, 2008 at 3:16 pm rating: 90
#28
Woman on the Verge
These places are just begging to have someone spread cheese on their doors.
Oct 7, 2008 at 5:06 pm rating: 90
#29
Devonte Smith
Oooh I like the last one…
At least point us in the right direction if we show up at 4am looking to bust a nut!!!
http://andthisismyamerica.com/2008/10/08/2-downone-to-go/
Oct 8, 2008 at 1:53 pm rating: 90
#30
raisedbywolves
LOL, I used to live in a building that was a former brothel before being converted back to apts for us.
To the people who wrote these notes… I feel your pain!
Oct 9, 2008 at 3:06 pm rating: 90
#31
Lurker
OK, my family actually DID move into a house that had been a brothel. Swear to FSM. It was all we could afford.
Only a couple of confused stray customers showed up, because word spreads fast in a small town, but it was enough to make us sleep VERY lightly for a while.
Oct 10, 2008 at 9:00 am rating: 90
#32
Dan
Can we say plausible deniability?
Nope, there’s no prostitutes here. We just like to wear a lot of makeup and lingerie.
Dan
Oct 11, 2008 at 1:29 pm rating: 90
#33
LuvChowda
It seems as though all the shaft stroking and glans rubbing services are still offered but the ball cupping, anus probing and pube yanking services have been discontinued. As long as the fee has been reduced accordingly, it would be worth ringing the doorbell.
Nov 17, 2008 at 3:00 pm rating: 90
#34
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Nov 21, 2008 at 1:01 am rating: 90
#35
VastishNuaxia
Thanks!!! cool…
I really think that such arangements
Feb 7, 2009 at 12:05 am rating: 90
#36
adults only
Adult dating in Australia is very popular, there are millions of adults signed up for adult dating services in every state and major city. This type of dating service differs from mainstream dating in that it is geared more towards short term relationships based on sexual encounters rather than longer term relationships that might lead to some type of commitment. The sites are generally graphic in nature and you can expect to find explicit images and nudity and sex acts. Live chat will be sexually explicit also. People come to these types of sites to find sex partners not to play chess!
Adam
May 23, 2009 at 1:53 am rating: 90
#37 thanks for not asking
[...] related: listing in now magazine’s adult classifieds? $70. revenge? [...]
Sep 16, 2009 at 1:08 pm rating: 90
#38 They take their white carpet very seriously. – Humour Unlimited
[…] related: This not a brothel! […]
Sep 29, 2014 at 1:20 pm rating: 90
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