Both of these signs would have gotten their points across perfectly well in just a few words…but the true passive-aggressive always knows how to convey his or her true meaning with just one more choice phrase.
Exhibit a) from Paula in Logan, Utah:
Exhibit b) spotted by my pal Brooke in Savannah, Georgia:
related: That means you, Edith


62 responses so far ↓
#1
john
lowercase L violation!
Oct 22, 2008 at 7:01 pm rating: 15
#2
moosetracks
exhibit A is just begging someone to steal that tiki torch, however.
Oct 22, 2008 at 7:09 pm rating: 14
#3
Woman on the Verge
Somebody notify AARP, this is obviously motivated by predjudice against Senile…. I mean, Senior citizens who are probably just breaking off roses to leave a trail so they can find their way home again.
Oct 22, 2008 at 7:10 pm rating: 15
#4
Mark
Is the tiki torch really required in the bed of roses? It’s not like it’s a pleasure cruise. I consider this sign to be a challenge before all the human race, and I ain’t gonna lose!
Oct 22, 2008 at 7:10 pm rating: 8
#5
RunBarbara
unless those roses are made out of cocaine and ass-fucking, im not stealing anything.
Oct 22, 2008 at 7:16 pm rating: 14
#6
RunBarbara
Señiors included? What a racist! Everyone knows Mexicans steal your T.V Guide, not your flowers.
Oct 22, 2008 at 7:19 pm rating: 17
#7
Eric B.
I often enjoy showing my private garden to passersby on the street. It’s a shame to let all that expensive manscaping go to waste, you know? But it just gets so disappointing when they want to call the cops…
Oct 22, 2008 at 7:21 pm rating: 34
#8
secondsout
Don’t steal roses. Especially if they’re seniors named Rose. Betty White’s character would be so clueless.
Oct 22, 2008 at 7:25 pm rating: 5
#9
Avi
Not really seeing the PA with the second one. It seems like a reasonable, polite sign to me.
Oct 22, 2008 at 7:27 pm rating: 1
#10
Elbie
“Please enjoy the view from the street”
Is this a PA way of telling people to go play in traffic?
Oct 22, 2008 at 7:35 pm rating: 18
#11
RandyinReno
while obviously not midnight, do you think that this is Savannah’s famed garden of good and evil?
RB, wanna go in with me to see how good it is to be evil?
Oct 22, 2008 at 7:48 pm rating: 2
#12
RandyinReno
So is Jim Williams buried in the garden?
Oct 22, 2008 at 8:05 pm rating: 0
#13
unfortunate names blog
It’s definately PA! Nobody tells me where to enjoy anything unless their are being PA, especially not in the street.
Oct 22, 2008 at 8:05 pm rating: 0
#14
harmonicpies
Is that second sign actually mounted to the wall with screws? That is some serious, hardwired, PAN-posting.
Oct 22, 2008 at 8:15 pm rating: 2
#15
Goldie
How am I supposed to enjoy the view from the street when your garden is surrounded by an 8-ft. solid WALL? Huh, bitches? I just might add some creative graffiti to make that view more enjoyable, y’know? I think I’m going to hire Jaime to help me decorate. Enjoy your new wall, morons.
Oct 22, 2008 at 8:16 pm rating: 5
#16
eh
i had a friend who would go in my yard and steal roses. totally fucking annoying. like she is entitled to them because she is my friend? she wouldn’t even ask, she would do it in the middle of the night when we were asleep. i know it’s her because she would ask for roses whenever she was leaving (which i would sometimes say yes) and i also would catch her in the act. if you want roses so bad go to home depot and plant your own fucking gardan ASSHOLE.
Oct 22, 2008 at 8:20 pm rating: 3
#17
eh
garden*
Oct 22, 2008 at 8:20 pm rating: 1
#18
secondsout
Don’t people know? The best place to steal flowers is a cemetery. Corpses don’t leave PA notes.
Oct 22, 2008 at 8:52 pm rating: 9
#19
Jason
I actually used to live right across the street from Exhibit A. It’s right in the middle of a bunch of student aparments for Utah State University, and in the summer months, mostly snowbirds from Arizona stay in them.
Oct 22, 2008 at 9:40 pm rating: 1
#20
Canthz_B
Private Garden, please enjoy the view from the street.
All commissioned officers are welcome to enjoy the view from the observation deck on the roof.
Oct 22, 2008 at 10:45 pm rating: 5
#21
Mister Pain
Mmmm, those roses were… really fucking aromatic!
Oct 23, 2008 at 12:07 am rating: 12
#22
elviruz
I personally find exhibit A to be completely reasonable. I mean, who do old people think they are!!? They think they can get away with one, ONE rose. HELL to the NO!!
As for exhibit B, I’m taking my hardware and showing them it can be undone…I like wandering into random private gardens. They have the best views.
Oct 23, 2008 at 12:11 am rating: 1
#23
The Prof
Petty Theft / Vandalism… it’s not just for young folks anymore!
Oct 23, 2008 at 12:59 am rating: 3
#24
Holiday Djinn
See, this PAN confirms a long standing idea I have.
First criminals start out with petty crimes. A murder here or there. After they get away with murder then it escalates to rape and armed robbery. When they get away with that then they do a little grand theft auto. At this point their appetite becomes insatiable. Wiley-Nilly they go around dealing small amounts of drugs and commiting fraud. Finally the downward spiral ends with stealing roses. When will people finally learn that murder is just a gateway towards rose stealing?
Oct 23, 2008 at 7:32 am rating: 10
#25
Lurker
SOPHOMORES WELCOME
Oct 23, 2008 at 9:16 am rating: 2
#26
claw71
This does underscore a serious problem this country is facing as an enormous number of Baby Boomers become senior citizens.
It’s been easy to look the other way when old people swipe stuff so far, but that’s because it’s been relatively petty. A salt shaker here, pack of batteries there and the occasional rose on the way home from bingo night doesn’t really hurt anybody. After all, it’s The Greatest Generation, right? Give Granpa a break.
But now that the people who rolled in human waste at Woodstock are part of the Polygrip set, it’s not so harmless. Hippies have just hit their 60s and they’ve taken theft to a whole new level. Now they’re stealing generators and chest freezers and if these geezers happen to see a rose that interests them they dig up the whole bush. It’s crazy and we haven’t seen the worst of it.
What happens when Eazy Rider rolls in to Eat-n-Park on his Jazzie only to find that he’s four minutes late for the Early Bird menu. Do you think he’s going to politely smile and ask if they’ll take an AARP discount off the regular menu price? No, he’s going to raise a ruckus and you can bet the rest of the blue-haired beatniks in the dining room will take up his cause. Have you seen what a set of uppers can do in the hands of somebody who knows how to use them? Cross a befuddled boomer and you’ll find out. The hard way.
This note might be funny, but the joke’s on you if you fail to see it as a sign of the times. Dark days are ahead. There will be Ensure shortages, sewer systems will be clogged with excess fiber supplements, we wont have enough landfill space to handle all the Depends, and the sense of entitlement all old people naturally feel will be exacerbated by the smug sense of superiority Baby Boomers carry with them.
Oct 23, 2008 at 9:24 am rating: 20
#27
Frankie
I think it was a typo. It should have said “Privates Garden” It’s where they grow nudist colonies. I planted a genitalia plant in my front yard last spring and had to post a similar note. I mean it’s not a voyeurism plant. That would be totally different.
Oct 23, 2008 at 11:50 am rating: 2
#28
Ti O
I beg your pardon gramps I did not promise you a rose garden!
Oct 23, 2008 at 12:36 pm rating: 3
#29
Canthz_B
Heisa lurks…
Oct 23, 2008 at 3:16 pm rating: 0
#30
Canthz_B
Damned Seniors. They think that, just because they’re about to graduate, the rules don’t apply to them!
Oct 23, 2008 at 3:18 pm rating: 3
#31
Andy
Eeeeevery rose has its scorn
Oct 24, 2008 at 3:13 pm rating: 2
#32
MsUnreliable
You may stop and smell the roses. From 50 ft away. Come any closer and you’ll be smelling gunpowder.
Oct 28, 2008 at 11:08 am rating: 2
#33
Pierce
I wrote this note (the rose ditty). I’ve since repented and now except the fact that the elderly can (and should) do whatever they want. Especially if their vehicle of choice is the wheelchair.
Nov 4, 2008 at 5:09 pm rating: 1
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