from sasha in new york: evidence that the financial crisis has begun to trickle down to joe six-pack.
related: desperate times
lean cuisine
October 23rd, 2008 · 81 comments
FILED UNDER: money · new york · office · stealing · thx · university
from sasha in new york: evidence that the financial crisis has begun to trickle down to joe six-pack.
related: desperate times
FILED UNDER: money · new york · office · stealing · thx · university
81 responses so far ↓
#1
0falcon8
but won’t the $700 billon bailout help replenish the food i’ve stolen?
Oct 23, 2008 at 3:55 pm rating: +15
#2
JC311
That Dow was fucking delicious!
oh, and your lunch was too!
Oct 23, 2008 at 3:55 pm rating: +1
#3
amy d
Who let the DOW drop?
tick, tick, tick-tick
Who let the DOW drop?
tick, tick, tick-tick.
Oct 23, 2008 at 4:13 pm rating: +25
#4
Jackofallspades
Oh great. now I really have nothing to live for.
Oct 23, 2008 at 4:15 pm rating: 0
#5
Mishee
wow, only 600 points? this note must’ve been written on one of those “good” days we rarely see anymore.
this is all part of that big package we call a “Global Climate Crysis”
Oct 23, 2008 at 4:17 pm rating: +9
#6
0falcon8
so, when the market recovers, i can resume swiping food?
Oct 23, 2008 at 4:19 pm rating: +21
#7
Mishee
*wonders if the lunch in question was left in the fridge for more than 45 minutes*
Oct 23, 2008 at 4:21 pm rating: 0
#8
claw71
You’re not looking at the big picture. I didn’t eat your lunch at all; I simply liquidated fixed assets and reallocated the nutritional value of your meal. In this volatile market your lunch wasn’t positioned to withstand the impending crisis.
Oct 23, 2008 at 4:30 pm rating: +62
#9
Dare
What you don’t know about this note is it was written by Ben Bernanke.
Oct 23, 2008 at 4:45 pm rating: +5
#10
RunBarbara
i dont steal food because im poor, i do it because i like the thrill of the chase.
first i stalk my prey- today it was a bbq chicken pizza that had been in the freezer since yesterday. i saw it, it saw me. it knew what i wanted. it wanted me to want it.
then, i checked on it, let it know i was there. every time i got up to get coffee, i would peek in the freezer to make sure it hadn’t been eaten yet. after my third cup, i coverd it up with a box of Jeno’s pizza rolls to keep other would-be theives away.
this is where things get technical. see, you cant just waltz into the lunchroom at noon and steal a lunch…everyone is in there. they are watching. so i went in at 1145, quickly pulled the pizza out of the freezer, unwrapped it and popped it in the microwave. i stood there the entire time.
i threw the trash away in someone’s personal trash can to further spread the evidence and then i ate at my desk.
the power is still flowing through my veins, i am on top of the office lunch world.
Oct 23, 2008 at 4:53 pm rating: +20
#11
0falcon8
i don’t consider it stealing. i like to think of it as “culinary reapportionment”.
Oct 23, 2008 at 5:09 pm rating: +8
#12
Ti O
“GREENSPAN!”
Oct 23, 2008 at 5:23 pm rating: +5
#13
GhostWriter
If I eat your lunch, you’ll buy another, fast food profits will rise, and the Dow will be back to 14k before Christmas. I’m just doing my part.
Oct 23, 2008 at 5:33 pm rating: +27
#14
secondsout
I’ll just eat dinners, breakfasts, and snacks that aren’t mine. Take that, Dow Jones!
Oct 23, 2008 at 5:35 pm rating: +4
#15
GhostWriter
It was really Senator Bill Frist’s chicken spaghetti leftovers that brought McCain back to the Capitol.
Oct 23, 2008 at 5:37 pm rating: +3
#16
secondsout
The lunches are mine once I steal them, now aren’t they? Possession - 9/10ths of the law.
Oct 23, 2008 at 5:50 pm rating: +4
#17
0falcon8
i’m just gonna borrow your food for a little while. i’ll return it to you in 4-6 hours. just come and reclaim it in stall #3.
Oct 23, 2008 at 5:56 pm rating: +2
#18
biscuit
Why did they need to write a note? Just have Please not steal NOT YOURS’s lunches anymore, no matter what DOW drops.
Oct 23, 2008 at 6:01 pm rating: +1
#19
0falcon8
Dear World-
I really hate being the scapegoat of all the problems today. Sub-prime mortgage collapse, inflated rates on bank-to-bank lending, consumer confidence waning, the list goes on and on. So, I do not need to have the theft of lunches added to the pile. I have enough shit on my plate as it is.
Nobody ever gives me credit during the good times. No “atta boy, DJ!” when I soar to new heights. I feel I am taken for granted and I am sick of it. My friends NASDAQ and S&P feel the same way, so we are here to tell you “no more”!
Everyone needs to stop your whining and put on your big boy pants and take responsibility for the messes you create.
Thnx,
Dow P. Jones
Oct 23, 2008 at 6:23 pm rating: +21
#20
Canthz_B
Is it Socialism If I like to spread your lunch around?
After all, you did bring enough for everyone.
Oct 23, 2008 at 6:32 pm rating: +10
#21
secondsout
