And all the pieces matter

October 28th, 2008 · 88 comments

“If it wasn’t for the handwriting,” says Lauren in California, “I would have guessed my mom wrote it.”

Meanwhile, Carson in Valencia found this note (crudely laminated with packing tape) attached to a tree while walking his dog in the park. “Maybe next time Maggie will think twice about leaving her ceramic cats unattended,” he says.

And in Seattle…

Hey! Those pots were not FREE! give them back!

“In the pot-snatcher’s defense, people leave furniture and the like on the street all over this area of town as acts of charity, so it definitely would have been an easy mistake for anyone to make,” Josef says, adding: “When I took this picture, the homeowner was glaring at me from the garage the whole time. Bad vibes, man.”

related: Neighborhood Crazy-Watch

FILED UNDER: apostrophe abuse · California · CAPS LOCK · comma diarrhea · emdash overboard · garbage · neighbors · rhetorical question · Seattle · You call that punctuation? · you know who you are


88 responses so far ↓

  • #1   cheesefries

    i like that “‘Junk” is a proper noun

    Oct 28, 2008 at 5:44 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

     
  • #2   Ivan

    someone needs to come leave signs like these in my apartment complex

    Oct 28, 2008 at 5:53 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #3   0falcon8 bang

    hey! who abandoned this bright orange sign down here? just imagine how cluttered it would look if everyone abandoned their signs here…

    Oct 28, 2008 at 5:54 pm   rating: 37  small thumbs up

    • #3.1   hall monitor

      I am glad after two months they were finally able to talk themselves into writing this note. I can see the person sitting around thinking, “Today is the day I’m gonna do it.” But obviously the wire was not that big of a problem if two months went by already.

      Hall Monitor
      http://detentionslip.org

      Oct 28, 2008 at 10:26 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.2   Sue Do Nim

      hall monitor Hall Monitor detentionslipdotorg

      Has anyone mentioned that you don’t need to add your log in name AND the link to your blog after every post? A click on your name takes us right there (and an immediate click on the back arrow gets us right back here where we belong).

      Sue Do Nim (for those who didn’t see it just above my post)

      That’s Sue Do Nim.

      Thanks,
      Sue Do Nim

      Oct 29, 2008 at 1:47 am   rating: 40  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.3   HairySwede

      I definitely agree with you sue do nim.

      I also love the use of passive aggressiveness in your comment.

      Oct 29, 2008 at 6:21 am   rating: 15  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.4   Brian

      I’m conflicted. On the one hand I have to give Hall Monitor credit. She is at least posting a real comment while shamelessly hawking her site.

      On the other, she doesn’t return the favor. There are no links to PAN on her site. She probably should just have a blogroll where she could list PAN and all the other sites at which she is posting her comment spam.

      Oct 29, 2008 at 7:10 am   rating: 12  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.5   ForumFan

      I have to agree – I think Hall Monitor has some sort of personality disorder, possibly related to narcissism. A person who thinks it’s okay to promote themselves so aggressively, but then does not give a tip of the hat to the site they are using to push their own crappy blog? Naw, not good. Get a life Hall Monitor…or a friend…or someone who cares.

      Oct 29, 2008 at 9:12 am   rating: 11  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.6   anglophile bang

      *wishes Sue Do Nim had a blog, just so she could click on it and then click the back button*

      ;)

      Oct 29, 2008 at 9:34 am   rating: 13  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.7   aaa

      (ó.ô)

      People are really getting that huffy about something so inherently inconsequential?

      Oct 29, 2008 at 2:01 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.8   William Wallace bang

      Oh trolls deserve only one thing. Having their head removed with a swing of the sword!

      Oct 29, 2008 at 5:48 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #4   Melissa

    I read it as a very strange attempt at an edgy “get tested” ad campaign of some sort.

    Oct 28, 2008 at 5:54 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #5   zchamu

    It would have taken less time for her to chuck it in a dumpster than it took her to get the posterboard and make the sign.

    Oct 28, 2008 at 5:55 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

    • #5.1   J

      plus, it would have been better for the environment.

      Oct 28, 2008 at 6:05 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.2   maude

      Yes, “Take Responsibility for Your Junk” is an awesome STD-testing campaign slogan.

      Reminds me of a frisbee I got in college that said “Anyone Can Catch an STD.”

      Oct 28, 2008 at 6:10 pm   rating: 34  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.3   thirty six red

      Yes a cumdumster

      Oct 29, 2008 at 9:28 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.4   Juliet

      Cumdumster… is that the same as or opposite a ‘cum dumpster?’ You must be very charming in person.

      Oct 29, 2008 at 11:41 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.5   Frankie bang

      Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! This made Frankie laugh. I like Juliet. She is funny. Thirty six red, so’s your face.

      Oct 29, 2008 at 5:58 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #6   J

    I read this in a grandma, Sarah Palin-esque voice and cracked up. ^_^

    Oct 28, 2008 at 5:56 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #7   0falcon8 bang

    what exactly is a “junk clown”?

    Oct 28, 2008 at 5:56 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #7.1   Lurker

      I think Fat Albert and the gang were junk clowns.

      Oct 28, 2008 at 6:02 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.2   Eric B.

      I thought William Burroughs was a junk clown.

      Oct 28, 2008 at 6:19 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.3   park rose bang

      I thought Lenny Bruce was a junk clown.

      Oct 29, 2008 at 8:33 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.4   Bunnee

      I thought Fred Sanford was a junk clown.

      Oct 29, 2008 at 4:46 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.5   Frankie bang

      I though Ron Jeremy giving it to that lady in the junk yard along with that midget there for moral support and lower extremity assistance were all junk clowns.

      Oct 29, 2008 at 5:59 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #8   Lurker

    It’s also obvious by now that the person who left it there isn’t going to magically develop a sense of community responsibility.

    Oct 28, 2008 at 6:01 pm   rating: 10  small thumbs up

     
  • #9   se

    I would have thrown that onto his car or his front step. Of course, I’m assuming note writer knows who left the Junk.

    Oct 28, 2008 at 6:07 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #10   Mishee bang

    I don’t know what you are talking about! I know where my junk is right now…

    Its attached to my husband and driving down the 101 in San Jose right about now…

    Oct 28, 2008 at 6:16 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #10.1   mrs. pommelhorst

      Eyyyuw get your junk away from me!!

      Besides, everyone knows the cool kids ride the 280.

      I’ve decided to crush on you again, Mishee.

      Oct 30, 2008 at 3:27 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #11   0falcon8 bang

    i left the wire two month’s ago
    i didn’t have a care
    ’till i saw your sign on my my piece of junk
    that didn’t magically disappear

    i realized the error of my ways
    your sign had put me right
    sorry to all my fellow-neighbor’s
    to put you through this plight

    i didn’t want to do my dirty work…oh, no
    you wrote a note and that’s all it took…oh, yeah
    i was a fool to leave junk around…oh, yeah
    now my consciencs, it has been found…yeah yeah

    Oct 28, 2008 at 6:17 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #11.1   Juliet

      What song is this? Sorry nothing’s coming to mind.

      Oct 29, 2008 at 11:51 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.2   0falcon8 bang

      i’m a fool to do your dirty work-steely dan

      Oct 29, 2008 at 1:06 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.3   William Wallace bang

      Aiee Easy listening adult contemporary! :shocked:

      Oct 29, 2008 at 5:49 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #12   Mishee bang

    I sure hope she got a tetanus shot before attaching that note to the junk.

    otherwise she could develop a nasty case of lockjaw.

    Oct 28, 2008 at 6:25 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #12.1   0falcon8 bang

      and mishee is no stranger to the lockjaw ;)

      Oct 28, 2008 at 6:29 pm   rating: 11  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #13   Anon

    When wasn’t it obvious that the wire wasn’t going to “magically disappear”?

    Oct 28, 2008 at 6:28 pm   rating: 13  small thumbs up

     
  • #14   Eric B.

    Yo hemphead,

    Sorry. I was just taking the pots to wash them. Let’s hope the seal was tight enough not to let any water in!

    Love,
    Mom.

    P.S. — Where’s my clear tape and bundle of wire?

    Oct 28, 2008 at 6:30 pm   rating: 17  small thumbs up

     
  • #15   0falcon8 bang

    maybe the ceramic cats wandered off because they heard rumors of free pot around the corner

    Oct 28, 2008 at 6:31 pm   rating: 9  small thumbs up

    • #15.1   Mishee

      falcon, that pot isn’t good anymore. it went through the washer and then jeff’s friend got busted by her mom for stealing clear tape.

      Oct 28, 2008 at 8:05 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #15.2   park rose bang

      Or because somebody thought that they were free pots.

      Oct 29, 2008 at 8:35 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #15.3   Juliet

      If you leave anything by the dumpster, or your garbage and recycling, it is fair game. Maybe don’t leave items you want (pots) next to items you don’t want on the curb, with the garbage and recycling.

      Oct 29, 2008 at 11:46 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #15.4   Frankie bang

      I got a fiver says Glo took those cats.

      Oct 29, 2008 at 6:02 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #15.5   anglophile bang

      Well, somebody had to give those poor kitties a good home! And I can always make room for a few more.

      Oct 29, 2008 at 6:27 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #16   Canthz_B bang

    Ceramic cats belong on capodimonte leashes.

    Oct 28, 2008 at 6:48 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

     
  • #17   moosetracks

    Re: #3, what did they expect, leaving pots stacked next to a huge green trash bin and a battered yellow milk crate out by the curb? They may as well have put up a big sign on brown butcher paper that says “Hey! these pots are free! take them away!”

    Oct 28, 2008 at 6:53 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

     
  • #18   Agent Inspired

    … I’m trying to imagine what would happen if someone actually tried to return those pots or ceramic cats.

    Oct 28, 2008 at 6:59 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #18.1   Lenny

      I’m trying to imagine someone actually wanting the ceramic cats…

      Oct 28, 2008 at 9:19 pm   rating: 15  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #19   Canthz_B bang

    “Mom, have you seen my orange poster-board? My Halloween project for art class is due Friday!”

    Oct 28, 2008 at 7:05 pm   rating: 13  small thumbs up

     
  • #20   7b

    In the potsnatcher’s defense, those pots were fucking delicious.

    Oct 28, 2008 at 7:14 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #20.1   moosetracks

      I think there needs to be a worse punishment than the unitard, people.

      Oct 28, 2008 at 7:20 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #20.2   RandyinReno

      Unitard nuclear wedgie??

      Oct 28, 2008 at 9:17 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #20.3   Sue Do Nim

      Actually, ignoring the fd comments would be the best punishment, imho.

      Oct 28, 2008 at 10:12 pm   rating: 21  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #21   Walrus

    The ceramic cats were waiting for her to finish her walk? Humm.

    Oct 28, 2008 at 7:28 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #21.1   RandyinReno

      Talking amongst themselves until she returned.

      Oct 28, 2008 at 9:21 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #21.2   anglophile bang

      “Rhode Island is neither a road nor an island. Discuss.”

      Oct 29, 2008 at 9:39 am   rating: 9  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #22   Dina

    Seriously, it looks like that big orange sign was written first in pen, and then RE-written in marker.

    That’s a LOT of effort for just a note-my hand’s cramping up just looking at it!

    But here’s the question-why, after writing over the note twice, would she still put an apostrophe in “months”? Wouldn’t it occur to you that there aren’t any apostrophe’s in plural word’s?

    Oct 28, 2008 at 8:00 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #22.1   RandyinReno

      She was obviously using the PAN checklist. Apostrophe abuse… check!

      Oct 28, 2008 at 9:18 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #23   Mishee bang

    By the looks of that “laminated” one in the middle, I’d say we solved the case of the missing clear tape.

    Oct 28, 2008 at 8:07 pm   rating: 17  small thumbs up

    • #23.1   RandyinReno

      And the source of the pot solved by the bottom.

      “Mom, I told you it’s not mine!!”

      Oct 28, 2008 at 9:20 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #24   Ti O

    Criss Angel’s failed disappearing wire trick continued to haunt him.

    Oct 28, 2008 at 8:20 pm   rating: 12  small thumbs up

     
  • #25   secondsout bang

    Ceramic cats? Are you going to claim that they’re not junk? Come on, someone did your yard a favor by stealing them.

    Oct 28, 2008 at 8:54 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

     
  • #26   secondsout bang

    Hey, writer of note #1, out of respect for your fellow neighbors, learn how to use apostrophes.

    Oct 28, 2008 at 8:59 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #27   john

    if the author of the orange posterboard sign had enough time to get all high and mighty and lay on a guilt trip, she should have ample time to suck mishee’s husband’s cock.

    Oct 28, 2008 at 9:48 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

    • #27.1   Frankie bang

      Mishee has plenty of time to do that herself. Besides nobody has a big enough mouth except for Mish. They go together like ramma lamma lamma ka dinga da dinga dong. But Thanks for the suggestion.

      Oct 29, 2008 at 6:08 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #28   Dani

    Apparently the crazy cat lady has expanded her circle of possessive insanity to ceramic cats, not just furry ones. What’s next? Cat’s cradle? CAT scans? Hey, give me back those cataracts!!! Those were for my friend!!!

    Oct 28, 2008 at 11:03 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #29   Lauren

    YES! I am so happy my submission finally got posted!

    Kerry – you have made one ridiculously stressed out med-student very happy during exams week!

    Oct 29, 2008 at 12:52 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #30   Canthz_B bang

    I think “pots” is code for “pot plants”. The old man finally got around to weeding behind the garage and the whole crop made it into the “yard waste” can.
    Luckily, he stopped burning yard waste last Autumn.

    Oct 29, 2008 at 2:18 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #31   Mark

    Mom’s got a bad case of wandering apostrophes. Give that woman a grammar book (or just confiscate her apostrophes — or as she would say, her apostrophe’s.)

    Oct 29, 2008 at 4:40 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #32   amy d bang

    If the pots were on the street, but not meant to be picked up, then it’s obvious they were intended to cook up some road kill.

    Oct 29, 2008 at 7:42 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #33   amy d bang

    As a cat owner, Maggie should know that cats have a low tolerance for boredom. They probably went traveling with the garden gnome.

    Oct 29, 2008 at 7:44 am   rating: 9  small thumbs up

     
  • #34   Dare

    I’m thinking the ceramic cats are more along the lines of PAN meets ICANHASCHEEZEBURGER???

    Oct 29, 2008 at 8:42 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #34.1   Wade bang

      ur PAN, it haz a flavr.

      Oct 29, 2008 at 9:06 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #34.2   Dare

      Ur syramic catz are been taken by ceiling cat.

      Oct 29, 2008 at 10:19 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #35   fantasy bang

    Oh, them damn metal thieves, all hopped up on meth stealing every pussy that they pass by!
    They always think that those pussies are calling their name.

    Hearing things, seeing people in the trees, stealing pots it never ends. So much to think about they forgot to grab the fence they were after.

    Oct 29, 2008 at 9:06 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #36   thirty six red

    Now she doesn’t even have a pot to piss in. This place is going to pot.
    Sounds like things I used to do and I enjoyed it.

    Oct 29, 2008 at 9:39 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #37   Lurker

    Maybe they’re Junkers.

    Oct 29, 2008 at 10:11 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #38   claw71 bang

    Ok, you’re right: I do know who I am, and it is obvious that the wire is not magically going to disappear but, if I’m being honest, I never expected that it would. No, what I expected was that some roving scrap collector would abscond with all of that wire in the wee hours of the morning. It turns out I was wrong but I would be remiss if I did not state that I had considered that as a remote possibility. In that case I figured one of my anal-retentive, do-gooder neighbors would begrudgingly take it upon themselves to dispose of all of that unwanted wire. Frankly I’m shocked and disappointed that it has taken two months to evoke enough ire to warrant a note…albeit a boldly bright and brilliantly bitchy blight of a note if there ever was one. Nevertheless, I’ve resolved myself to the current course of action. The way I see it the gaudy orange note will only draw more attention to this mess and eventually somebody will be forced to deal with it. Somebody other than me. In the end, everything will go according to plan. My plan. That’s the way I want it and eventually that’s the way I’ll get it.

    Oct 29, 2008 at 10:22 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

     
  • #39   Aleta

    Love the signs, especially the wire one.
    I put junk out on the side of the street when I figure someone will pick it up, but typically I’ll do it the night before trash day, so it’s not hanging around too long. Rarely does the furniture or dishes or whatnots last through the night before someone grabs them. Then again, I’ll try a garage sale before tossing it, if it’s “wantable” Enjoyed your post!

    Oct 29, 2008 at 10:44 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #40   aaa

    The writer of the second note needs to brush up on their definition of stealing. Obviously those ceramic cats (WTF?) were something free to pick up (albeit without permission), or else they wouldn’t have been taken.

    Oct 29, 2008 at 10:55 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #41   claw71 bang

    Well you can’t have a garbage caper in Seattle without a little grunge: (Come as you are)

    Don’t
    take my pots
    they’re not yours
    they weren’t out there for free
    bring them back
    to this stack
    because they all belong to me
    They were mine
    hurry up
    See this note I’m so mad
    and I’m sad
    my annuals might just freeze
    they might freeze, ah
    they might freeze, ah
    they might freeze, ah

    Well I swear
    that they weren’t on the curb
    no they weren’t on the curb
    now they weren’t on the curb

    Oct 29, 2008 at 11:22 am   rating: 13  small thumbs up

    • #41.1   Juliet

      One of the best ones. Thanks, Claw71!

      Oct 29, 2008 at 11:49 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #42   dread pirate roberts bang

    Junk?! Junk?!?
    That, my dear, is an abstract sculpture that represents the diposable society we have become today. It shows how we are wrapped up and imprisoned by our own prejudices and ignorance.
    It goes to show how much you know about art!

    Oct 29, 2008 at 4:58 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #43   nestchick

    And through the wire it’s obvious by now
    And through the wire I touch the junk
    And through the wire I see your trash
    It’s through the wire

    Fellow neighbor, you know who you are
    I’m writing an orange sign, I want you
    To take out the trash-I’ve had my fill I want you
    To clean up your overspill I want you

    And through the wire Be decent
    And through the wire Now be nice
    And through the wire We can agree
    It’s through the wire

    It’s our shared land I want you
    To tie it up in a band I want you
    This is where we all trod I want you
    Clean up the garden clean up the sod I want you

    And through the wire Be decent
    And through the wire Now be nice
    And through the wire We can agree
    It’s through the wire

    Walking round the garbage bins
    Staring at all of your sins
    I talk with sharpie-enhanced words
    Before you go to bed
    Think about iron and of lead
    Watch the wire

    And through the wire You did procure
    And through the wire I must gawk
    And through the wire On our block
    And through the wire I beseech
    And through the wire You I must reteach
    And through the wire We get so PA when there’s no order
    We get so PA when there’s no order

    Oct 29, 2008 at 7:04 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #44   BurstingAtTheSeams

    So out of respect for your fellow neighbor’s . . . fellow neighbor’s what, exactly?

    Oct 29, 2008 at 9:09 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #45   MsUnreliable

    So do the pots charge by the hour or were they just hanging out at the rubbish bin on a smoke break?

    Oct 30, 2008 at 10:00 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #46   glastonberry

    Where did they get such a big fucking piece of paper?

    Oct 30, 2008 at 5:11 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #47   excevoile

    Hey everyone!
    All of the current talks of the crash of the economy and loss of jobs has been driving most americans crazy!
    I began searching on line for some way to get help and discovered that the government gives free grants.
    What I would like to know is…. do any of you know what website I can find [url=http://swik.net/User:freegrantapplication]free government grant application[/url] at?

    Thank You!

    __________

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    Feb 11, 2009 at 5:29 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #48   so…the water cooler’s hosting rainbow parties again?

    [...] related: and all the pieces matter [...]

    May 13, 2009 at 9:39 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     

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