Says filly in New York: “I think it’s safe the assume the writer is neither a) an English major or b) a feminist.”
related: more from the frontlines of post-post feminism
FILED UNDER: bathroom · CAPS LOCK · college life · exclamation-point happy!!!! · hygiene · most popular notes of 2008 · New York · office · spelling and grammar police · that's disgusting · toilet
“Hygenical.” It’s this year’s “truthiness.” Get it while it lasts, people…
Oct 30, 2008 at 7:01 pm rating: 78
If anybody else could please not post anything like this again, we would appreciate it. Let’s all be sure to not troll anymore.
But seriously. Nobody else please, ever again!
Oct 30, 2008 at 10:09 pm rating: 5
Did this belong to some other post? I don’t see trolling in what you responded to.
Oct 30, 2008 at 10:23 pm rating: 9
I want to know who is going around checking other lady’s rear ends to make sure they cleaned after themselves.
PS. Thanks to everyone for the chapter from the Blogosphere Etiquette Manual! For some reason they didn’t include it when I bought my laptop.
Oct 30, 2008 at 10:28 pm rating: 4
*yawn…trolls are so boring…yawn…i wonder if their parents know they’re on the internet?…yawn*
Oct 30, 2008 at 10:40 pm rating: 5
OH well, I tried.
Oct 30, 2008 at 10:42 pm rating: 1
OK, I know Hall Monitor lacks the usual overabundance of exclamation points, emoticons, and clip art, but I think it’s time to move her stuff out of the comments and up into a post of their own. With today’s offering I’d say she’s earned it.
Oct 30, 2008 at 11:06 pm rating: 4
I agree with Brian. I do enjoy HM’s comments, and am secretly a fan of some of the website. But the over-linking does get annoying.
Oct 30, 2008 at 11:23 pm rating: 1
Well, here’s the picture Hall Monitor hoped would never be seen….
Oct 31, 2008 at 12:12 am rating: 4
Hall monitor, less teeth, bitch, less teeth.
Oct 31, 2008 at 12:57 am rating: 4
I don’t think the Unitard would fit me, thanks. Crossing Guard, if I may ask, what was so trollish about my comment?
Oct 31, 2008 at 4:18 am rating: 3
My comment was intended as a passive aggressive stab at Hall Monitor, who always makes sure to post a reply to the first comment as to make sure that his/her web address is seen. I was simply mimicking, but my sarcasm was lost on anybody who has not been following the comments for the past week or so OR by those who have but don’t share my sense of humor.
You can’t imagine my mirth when I opened the comments last night and discovered NO post from Hall Monitor! So I left my snarky comment and thought for sure that Hall Monitor had stopped leaving comments.
No such luck.
The unitard was not intended for you by any means. It was meant solely for poster #1.3. Apologies for any confusion or hurt feelings.
Oct 31, 2008 at 10:25 am rating: 5
Oh, and it looks like my sarcasm was also completely lost on Hall Monitor, who still posted after my snarky 1.1.
Well, I am signing off as Crossing Guard and going back to my usual SN. If I can’t make a difference for Hall Monitor as a Crossing Guard, I fail. Miserably. =(
Oct 31, 2008 at 10:36 am rating: 5
I’m new to this site (and LOVE it!), but there’s something I don’t understand…
What’s up with this HallMonitor person? Their comments aren’t that great, and the website they so proudly pimp is a *snoozefest*. Please help me! I’m like a child that’s wandered into the middle of a movie….
Oct 31, 2008 at 12:47 pm rating: 1
I’m always hygenical!
Oct 31, 2008 at 3:04 pm rating: 0
I can’t believe no one got the CrossingGuard/HallMonitor reference… I thought it was brilliant.
Maybe they need to be more obvious next time?
Oct 31, 2008 at 4:19 pm rating: 4
Oh Snap yo! Grey, you can be my detention monitor anytime!!
Nov 2, 2008 at 2:55 am rating: 0
Wow what kind of deuce did she drop??Sounds like a “13 incher to me
Oct 30, 2008 at 7:02 pm rating: 3
When you drop the kids off at the pool, be careful they don’t slip on the deck.
Oct 30, 2008 at 9:51 pm rating: 4
…and the tape measure is ruined forever.
Oct 31, 2008 at 11:28 am rating: 3
“Do yourself…a favor Clean after yourself.”
How is that doing ME a favor? Sounds like I’d be doing YOU a favor. A favor for ME would be for YOU to clean up the excrement I leave all over the bathroom.
Oct 30, 2008 at 7:03 pm rating: 20
She must not have watched 2 girls, 1 cup if she thinks a dirty ladies room is the most disgusting thing.
Then again, they did clean up after themselves.
Oct 30, 2008 at 7:10 pm rating: 32
“Then again, they did clean up after themselves.”
How did you watch long enough to tell??!
Not much triggers my gag reflex, but that one did it.
Oct 30, 2008 at 11:11 pm rating: 3
“Not much triggers my gag reflex, but that one did it”
Wow. I can’t believe this one is just hanging out there with no comment yet.
Oct 31, 2008 at 8:49 am rating: 1
LOL – maybe because I’m a newbie, everyone’s cutting me a little slack on that? (One can hope.)
Oct 31, 2008 at 9:08 am rating: 0
Personally, the mere mention of 2G1C is enough to keep my penis out of this thread.
(I’ll show you gag reflex)
Oct 31, 2008 at 9:39 am rating: 3
Holly, I’ve never actually seen the video. Word gets around on the intertubes though.
EyeHeart: “hanging out there” was also left untouched. Maybe that’s why it’s just hanging.
Nov 1, 2008 at 7:14 am rating: 0
I write to thank you for your kind note. As a token of our new found trust and friendship I would like to warn; don’t slip in the poop.
Oct 30, 2008 at 7:12 pm rating: 13
This letter doesn’t really make sense to me. Some context would be nice.
Oct 30, 2008 at 7:13 pm rating: 2
So you would like a photo of the fecal matter splattered on the wall?
Oct 31, 2008 at 8:09 am rating: 3
Note writer to Nasty Lady: How are you today?
Nasty Lady to note writer: Hygenically speaking, I’m polluted!
Oct 30, 2008 at 7:14 pm rating: 3
Because shitting on the seat at home is OK?!?!?!
Oct 30, 2008 at 7:19 pm rating: 18
Oct 31, 2008 at 7:34 am rating: 8
I really like that she said “nasty lady”, instead of a nasty bitch or something of the like. She’s grossed out, yet still polite.
Oct 30, 2008 at 7:20 pm rating: 3
“Hygenical”??? Was that note written by Dubya?
Oct 30, 2008 at 7:22 pm rating: 9
Sounds more Flavor Flav to me.
Oct 30, 2008 at 7:30 pm rating: 6
I wonder if W’s speech writer wrote this. That would explain nucular and stratergize.
Dammit KDog! You got me first, I typed this, got distracted by IRL, and then hit submit and there you were.
We both rock.
Oct 30, 2008 at 7:30 pm rating: 7
Agreed. We do both rock.
Oct 31, 2008 at 12:22 pm rating: 2
Why no exclamation marks after DO YOURSELF AND THE REST OF US A FAVOR?
It messes with the whole flow of the note.
Oct 30, 2008 at 7:32 pm rating: 8
She took the standard 4 exclamation marks from the end of that sentence and moved them down to the last sentence. Obviously she is only allotted 20 exclamation marks per day, and carefully divided them out to emphasize the most important points in her essay.
Oct 30, 2008 at 7:57 pm rating: 13
She used them all.
Oct 31, 2008 at 12:36 am rating: 1
I would’ve loved if there had been a ’1′ somewhere in those exclamation marks.
Oct 31, 2008 at 10:31 am rating: 4
This note writer is in desperate need of a PAN Tutorial.
Nov 2, 2008 at 2:58 am rating: 0
Hygenical. Wasn’t that one of the characters in “Cats”?
Oct 30, 2008 at 7:32 pm rating: 30
I think maybe she left menstruation all over the seat. Nasty ladies everywhere do this.
Oct 30, 2008 at 7:38 pm rating: 1
Or pee. You know the type – they’re so germophobic that they squat OVER the seat, but manage somehow to pee all over it for the next person…
Then again, we have some toilets at work that sprinkle the seat when they flush. I thought nasty thoughts about some of my coworkers until I watched it happen.
Oct 30, 2008 at 11:13 pm rating: 6
That bacteria-laden mist gets all around the room if you don’t flush with the seat down…I read that somewhere.
Oct 30, 2008 at 11:23 pm rating: 4
I think she dry docked a chocolate cake with tampon candles to evoke the ire of the writer.
Oct 31, 2008 at 9:04 am rating: 3
So, Canthz_B, how does one do that when there IS no lid? (Assuming you meant lid, not seat – what woman flushes with the seat UP, unless it’s at home, after a man?)
Oct 31, 2008 at 9:10 am rating: 0
“what woman flushes with the seat UP, unless it’s at home, after a man?”
DAMNIT WOMAN, I TOLD YOU TO LEAVE THE SEAT UP! THERE ARE *MEN* IN THIS HOUSE, YOU KNOW!
Oct 31, 2008 at 9:42 am rating: 2
Sometimes, it’s not even the hoverers who drip pee. Sometimes, it’s just nasty ladies who stand up to wipe and manage to dribble urine on the toilet seat AND the floor! When I walk into a stall and see pee drops on the floor in front of the toilet, I turn around and walk right out. How embarrassing would it be to slip on pee and knock yourself unconscious in a ladies room stall?
Oct 31, 2008 at 1:09 pm rating: 1
I think if favor had been spelled ‘favour’, it would have driven the point home a little better.
Oct 30, 2008 at 7:40 pm rating: 0
Are you insinuating that English people are retarded?
Oct 30, 2008 at 11:08 pm rating: 1
I think that might be in reference to an Arctic Monkeys song. Or I could just be so in love with them that I’m find references in everyday life.
Oct 31, 2008 at 12:47 am rating: 1
Nasty lady, I think I know one of those. She gave birth to Mishee.
Oct 30, 2008 at 7:53 pm rating: 2
Wait, the submitter is named filly? I like to refer to a girl as the main filly of my herd, but this would be literal.
Oct 30, 2008 at 7:54 pm rating: 1
Oct 30, 2008 at 8:28 pm rating: 2
Fillies tend to nag!
Oct 30, 2008 at 8:31 pm rating: 11
CB, that horse pun was lame. Say you’re sorrel.
Oct 30, 2008 at 8:47 pm rating: 13
I actually resemble that remark, ‘sout!
Oct 30, 2008 at 10:34 pm rating: 2
I actually think you’re more of a bay, CB.
Oct 31, 2008 at 6:33 am rating: 0
This note almost qualifies for the “Your mother doesn’t work here” tag.
Oct 30, 2008 at 8:07 pm rating: 3
Sue Do Nim
Who cleans after me at home?????
Oct 30, 2008 at 8:10 pm rating: 0
Nasty Lady is an oxymoron of the highest order.
That’s no Lady, that’s my slut!
Oct 30, 2008 at 8:22 pm rating: 14
I can’t help but hear the voice of Emily Howard from Little Britain when I read this note.
“Moi leave a disgusting mess? Of course not. I am a lady.”
Oct 30, 2008 at 8:24 pm rating: 6
I thought that was Miss Piggy.
Oct 30, 2008 at 8:28 pm rating: 5
Its Emily! Yes Yes and Yes!!!
Oct 30, 2008 at 11:04 pm rating: 0
God the grammar and the spelling make me want to leave the bathroom nasty out of spite.
Let’s make a deal, sweetheart, you learn how to organize a proper sentence and I’ll consider cleaning up after myself.
Oct 30, 2008 at 8:31 pm rating: 4
I wouldn’t blame the next nasty lady for leaving a big shit smear down the middle of the note, racing-stripe style.
Oct 31, 2008 at 12:18 am rating: 2
Poor note-writer has lived a very sheltered life if the most disgusting thing she can think of is a nasty lady.
I could start with Richard Simmons! Blech!!
Oct 30, 2008 at 8:39 pm rating: 5
Aw, I actually like Richard Simmons. He’s kinda fun in a creepy, spaztastic way.
Oct 30, 2008 at 8:49 pm rating: 3
Nobody beats BodyByJake.
Oct 31, 2008 at 1:57 am rating: 0
You mean, Richard Simmons isn’t a nasty lady?
That bastard lied to me!
Oct 31, 2008 at 9:44 am rating: 5
Smithers, release the robotic Richard Simmons.
Oct 31, 2008 at 10:53 am rating: 1
Hygenical? Did Bush write this note?
Oct 30, 2008 at 8:48 pm rating: 1
Oct 30, 2008 at 10:29 pm rating: 1
Oct 31, 2008 at 12:23 am rating: 0
I thought the unitard was the most disgusting thing.
Oct 30, 2008 at 9:12 pm rating: 1
How To Use the Bathroom and Not Clean After Yourself
By: Nasty Lady
1. Enter restroom.
2. Choose a stall.
3. Drop trou.
4. Hover over toilet (public restrooms can be nasty, you know!)
5. Urinate, defecate or menstruate atop the toilet seat.
6. Wipe your nasty lady nether regions (or not).
7. Exit stall.
8. Wash your hands (or not).
9. Exit bathroom without cleaning after yourself.
That doesn’t seem so complicated, does it?
Oct 30, 2008 at 9:54 pm rating: 7
Where I work, some “ladies” have a hard time grasping the concept of flushing after use. It really sucks to go into a stall and see a blood-filled toilet with two-toned logs floating in it. That’s just nasty.
It’s even worse that I work for a government contractor.
Oct 30, 2008 at 10:44 pm rating: 5
i would post an amusing comment, but i’m too busy PUKING!
Oct 31, 2008 at 2:15 am rating: 11
Woman is the source of all things foul
Oct 30, 2008 at 10:52 pm rating: 0
How to Write a Passive Aggressive Note
1. Walk into bathroom.
2. Go into stall.
3. See disgusting site.
4. Retreat. Return to desk.
5. Open Word.
6. Type passive aggressive note. Be sure to type in capitals and use plenty of exclamation marks!!! People will pay more attention if you do this.
7. Ignore spell check. Fuck you little paper clip man, hygenical IS a word!
9. Affix to wall at the scene of the crime.
10. Return to desk. Be content knowing that you have helped to raise the hygenical standards of your workplace.
Oct 30, 2008 at 11:00 pm rating: 30
Spell check fails to work when you write in ALL CAPS.
Oct 31, 2008 at 9:46 am rating: 1
11. Later, realize during the board meeting you are still carrying that festering log in your gut.
12. Amuse yourself by forcing air past it, much to the chagrin of others.*
*Please, help me come up with alternate #12s. Choose Your Own Adventure!
Oct 31, 2008 at 4:36 pm rating: 1
12.A. Excuse yourself from meeting, letting out “Pressure farts” on the way to the bathroom near the desks of your office rivals, the “perfume chick” and the suspected food stealers to exact revenge.
Nov 2, 2008 at 3:04 am rating: 3
i’m so glad she put the 8 exclamation marks after the last remark…7 just wouldn’t have cut it!!!!!!! …see
Oct 30, 2008 at 11:09 pm rating: 1
And 9 would’ve been too obvious.
Oct 31, 2008 at 1:35 am rating: 3
Reminds me of a movie line: “A woman is a temple, built on a sewer.”
Oct 30, 2008 at 11:49 pm rating: 0
What Bunnee does not want you to know is that if her oldest brother ever saw a sign like that, he would top-deck the toilet
Top Decking: The process of dropping a deuce in the tank of a toilet instead of the bowl so when the next person flushes, all the poop goes into the bowl
Oct 31, 2008 at 12:29 am rating: 2
well, if bunni–no, wait…more PUKING!
Oct 31, 2008 at 2:18 am rating: 4
So that’s why there is a shortage of exclamation points. I wondered where my share went.
Oct 31, 2008 at 12:31 am rating: 4
we’re in a crisis, and these punctuation marksists want to “spread the exclamation points around.”
Oct 31, 2008 at 2:26 am rating: 23
I myself am noticing a disturbing shortage of question marks. Is this why the note writer used 4 exclamation points after a question!!!!
Oct 31, 2008 at 4:24 am rating: 0
Its retortical!!!! The note writer is directicaling this at a Nasty Lady whom is not at Home!!!! Get it!!!!
Oct 31, 2008 at 8:25 am rating: 5
I shall make it my mission to use “hygenical” in conversation today.
In summary: Hygenical!!!!
Oct 31, 2008 at 4:30 am rating: 1
really? the absolute, most disgusting thing in the whole entire universe is a nasty lady? i’m not sure i agree. that almost forces me to come up with something more disgusting…..
Oct 31, 2008 at 8:21 am rating: 1
I dunno, menstruation is pretty nasty. It’s like your vagina is crying blood and you can’t cheer it up.
Although decomposing bodies are pretty gross…
No. Vagina blood is definitely nastier.
Oct 31, 2008 at 10:53 am rating: 2
Dear Dirty Jobs,
I work at this office where every one is fairly normal and usually polite. I graduated from Oberline College where I was a Feminist Literature major. When I attended there we had a great toliet paper shortage, but I had never seen anything like what I recently saw at worrk. One day at my place of employment, I was horrified and reviled to see such a mess in the women’s lavatory. I posted the greatest informational sign that there was this digusting NASTY LADY and boy did I tell her…
I your television program would like to see how horribly unhygenical this bathroom is you can reach me at 917-555-5309.
Filly Mi Hup
Oct 31, 2008 at 9:36 am rating: 0
All this “hygenical” talk has got Supertramp’s “The Logical Song” stuck in my head. THANKS A LOT, PAN writer.
Oct 31, 2008 at 9:44 am rating: 0
Just Like a Woman by Bob Dylan:
Somebody, didn’t flush again
And the smell is driving me insane
It’s offensive to my nose
and the slovenliness shows
but lately it’s gross and everybody knows
you’re not home, you’re at work
She stinks like a nasty woman, yes she does
she makes poo like a nasty woman, yes she does
she leaves skidmarks, like a nasty woman
but she cleans up like a little girl
Oct 31, 2008 at 11:23 am rating: 6
i see your bob dylan and raise you a haiku:
toilet tarts and their
trumpeting farts, lingering
longs for a diaper
Oct 31, 2008 at 11:49 am rating: 7
Anyone who spoofs or quotes Dylan gets a +1 from me. Well done, Claw, though given your taste for the prepubescents, I think you could have done more with the “but she … just like a little girl.”
Oct 31, 2008 at 12:17 pm rating: 0
At my office, when the Nasty Ladies leave a mess we call it a Code Brown.
“Breaker, break, we have a Code Brown in the middle stall! Repeat CODE BROWN!”
Oct 31, 2008 at 12:06 pm rating: 1
I am Joe the Plumber and I approve this message. Don’t clog my pipes with your ladypoop, you nasty bitches.
Oct 31, 2008 at 1:22 pm rating: 3
I was under the impression that you had a “Magic Plunger”
That should be able to handle even the “biggest jobs”….
Oct 31, 2008 at 2:06 pm rating: 3
Joe the Plumber has a tatoo on his butt. Do you know what it says?
“If you can read this, I’m working.”
Oct 31, 2008 at 3:32 pm rating: 4
I’m sorry, did anyone else immediately think “thx, Sandra” upon reading this? I know it’s missing the requisite clip art…
Oct 31, 2008 at 3:36 pm rating: 1
Woman on the Verge
I think they left off the last sentence:
P.S. BITCH, I USED YOUR KEYBOARD TO TYPE THIS NOTE AFTER I CLEANED UP YOUR NASTYASS MESS AND BEFORE I WASHED MY HANDS!!!!!!!
Oct 31, 2008 at 10:03 pm rating: 1
We’re all so obsessed with either the menstrual blood or feces that we all missed the “neither -OR”.
(laughing quietly to myself)
Oct 31, 2008 at 10:45 pm rating: 1
I do appreciate a man (?) who can see through blood and feces to get right to the heart of the matter: grammar.
Nov 1, 2008 at 2:27 pm rating: 2
The really funny part about that is Filly was saying “neither a) an ENGLISH MAJOR, or b) a feminist”. Neither/or and doubting that the note writer is an English Major. Pretty ironical!
Nov 3, 2008 at 12:06 pm rating: 0
My God . . . “hygenical” just makes me want to find whoever posted this note and drive a railroad spike through their sadly semiliterate head(if it is Dubya, so much the better).
Nov 2, 2008 at 6:11 pm rating: 0
It’s hygenicalogical, antibacterial, Listeromatical fun!
Nov 2, 2008 at 8:38 pm rating: 1
Oh no! Four or more exclamation marks: the CLEAR sign of a diseased mind.
Nov 5, 2008 at 6:33 pm rating: 0
Actually, the submitter is clearly no English major either (“neither . . . or”?).
Nov 7, 2008 at 8:00 pm rating: 0
Having spent a lot of time cleaning washrooms (not my job but I would rather do it than have some other employee ordered to do it) in a “famous Canadian big box bookstore starting with C”, I can say that women are by far the messier.
However, when men are messier…. they go all out. I recall one poor male employee who was asked to go in after a customer complained that there was a “mess” in the Men’s washroom came out visibly shaken…. “Anneke, there were carrots EVERYWHERE! It was like a moose had been in there….”.
Once we had to call a plumber in when a toilet was blocked. He extracted a full set (tops and bottoms) of longjohns from the toilet that someone had flushed. A friend who works in a drugstore chain told me that the plumber extracted two cans of tuna (unopened) from the drain of one of their toilets. We guessed it was a shoplifter who was planning on stealing them but accidentally dropped them in the toilet. But why flush?????
We had people flush covers stripped from paperbacks they were going to steal.
As for messy women, we had a hooker who used to park her mother in our store while she did her business out in the market backing onto our store (when it was too cold to go outside, she was caught in the Fiction section conducting business a couple of times). The mother had some sort of incontinence problem and would go to the bathroom every 5 minutes and pee all OVER the place.
They were finally kicked out after the hooker let her little dog have a bath in the toilet. Why not when she was conducting business in the Fiction section, I don’t know. Unless it was because there was always the chance that her customer might spot a book he wanted to buy.
Nov 10, 2008 at 8:28 pm rating: 2
Smart one…it should read.. Neither….NOR…..not or.
Nov 19, 2008 at 11:12 am rating: 0
Oh, man. Thanks, Google. The ad for this page is a porch potty, complete with a frustrated looking dog pooping in (hopefully hygenical) fake grass.
Jan 8, 2009 at 10:58 pm rating: 0
If you want to kill a troll, ignore him. But it seems as though he’s the only thing any of you have to talk about….I, like, feel so bad for you!
Jan 15, 2009 at 12:35 pm rating: 0
girls gone wild…with colored markers
[...] oh, and ladies? as you busy yourself with your construction paper and colored markers, never forget the most disgusting thing! [...]
Mar 10, 2009 at 5:09 pm rating: 0
Sounds like somebody’s got a case of the Mondays… | PassiveAggressiveNotes.com
[...] related: the most disgusting thing is a nasty lady [...]
Jan 1, 2010 at 8:01 pm rating: 0
Truly (worth) discussing | PassiveAggressiveNotes.com
[...] the most disgusting thing Share31mail [...]
Sep 25, 2010 at 8:34 am rating: 0
2011: The Top Notes of the Year
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You call that punctuation?