Spotted by Lange from Cambridge, Massachusetts while campaigning for Obama in New Hampshire. Says Lange: “We decided against bugging them with our political spiel. (We assumed they were Obama supporters anyway.)”
Meanwhile, corporate belt-tightening isn’t going over so well with the office grunts this Halloween. “This was the response to the environment/holiday committee’s lack of Halloween candy in the office after already ‘decorating’ the office with empty candy containers,” says our submitter in Los Angeles.
In Oakridge, Oregon, however — as our submitter Tyree noticed — they don’t go in much for subtlety.
related: Pumpkin with a death wish
92 responses so far ↓
#1
Box
That pumpkin was fucking delicious.
Oct 31, 2008 at 11:58 am rating: 5
#2
Eric B.
Of course John Candy isn’t there. He’s dead!
Oct 31, 2008 at 12:12 pm rating: 14
#3
secondsout
The third note is written in a foreign language. It translates roughly into: “Please egg my house!”
Oct 31, 2008 at 12:18 pm rating: 50
#4
Bunnee
To Whoever’s pumpkin we stole:
Thanks! I will enjoy it–as it goes SPLAT against your front door! (I assume this means I won’t be getting any candy?)
Kisses,
Pumpkin Thief
Oct 31, 2008 at 12:31 pm rating: 7
#5
Tmarie
Totally awesome friend of my sister’s had a beautiful carved, artfully burned wood sign that said “No Halloweeners” but he always had good candy anyway. Similarly, he had a less ornate sign that said “No Girl Scout Cookies Bought Here”. But I think she told me he always bought a generous amount of cookies.
That whole “tradition” is ruined for me now because of the signs law enforcement are making sex offenders display. Which is what the screen door sign reminds me of.
Oct 31, 2008 at 12:37 pm rating: 3
#6
bobthemonkey
They didn’t steal the pumpkin, they were redistributing it to someone more in “need”.
Oct 31, 2008 at 12:38 pm rating: 23
#7
Joe
“we assumed they were obama supporters anyway.”
Because you were in Massachusetts, or because they didn’t mind their pumpkin being stolen for the sake of the pumpkin-less?
Oct 31, 2008 at 12:41 pm rating: 12
#8
Joe
Also, what kind of committee is known as the Environment/Holiday committee? I guess they only put things out for Arbor Day and Earth Day. And by things, I mean paper and pencils made from recycled products. (Pay no attention to the plastic jack-o-lantern containers!)
Oct 31, 2008 at 12:46 pm rating: 1
#9
JoelWhy
No candy, but he’ll have plenty of eggs, soon enough.
Oct 31, 2008 at 1:02 pm rating: 6
#10
mere
hey, let’s turn that (post it) frown upside down.
i’ve got some raisins, they’re nature’s candy you know.
and some rice cakes. they’re nature’s coasters.
….
wait, what are you throwing at me?! OUCH! raisins hurt!
Oct 31, 2008 at 1:05 pm rating: 13
#11
Jessica Gottlieb
Is it terrible that I want to correct the note to read “whomever”?
Oct 31, 2008 at 1:09 pm rating: 10
#12
Tuesday
No candy, you say? Time to do something creative in your yard with my 24-pack of Charmin.
Oct 31, 2008 at 1:17 pm rating: 7
#13
claw71
I think I know the people who posted the first note. They’re really pretty affable so I don’t believe this is passive-aggressive at all. I remember when somebody abducted their daughter last Decemember. They were upset but they took out an add in the local paper:
WHOEVER TOOK OUR DAUGHTER:
HOPE YOU ENJOY HER SINCE WE CANNOT.
IF YOU WANT THE CHRISTMAS PRESENTS WE ALREADY BOUGHT FOR HER THEY’LL BE UNDER THE BLUE TARP BEHIND THE SHED.
THANKS AND HAVE A HAPPY CHRISTMAS.”
Oct 31, 2008 at 1:26 pm rating: 26
#14
Superdude
To whoever stole our pumpkin:
We’re buying a new one and we called our friend to protect it. Heisa monster.
Happy Halloween!
Oct 31, 2008 at 2:11 pm rating: 3
#15
Juliet
That last note is my favourite. I more than understand where the note writer is coming from.
There are kids in my neighbourhood who ignore that all your lights are out, and would break into your house and search it for candy if their parents weren’t with them.
It would be great to reward such persistence with a water balloon ambush.
“So what if I soaked them? There aren’t any treats here, only tricks.”
Oct 31, 2008 at 2:35 pm rating: 5
#16
Superdude
So the people in picture #3 hate children more than they like the storm window in their screen door?
I thought there was a law against selling spray-paint to minors and morons.
Oct 31, 2008 at 2:50 pm rating: 4
#17
Anon
Hall monitor, this a preemptively aggressive post. Fuck you.
Oct 31, 2008 at 3:09 pm rating: 20
#18
CatintheHat
Since there is no punctutation,
the sentence is an aberration.
The meaning one can misconstrue,
as did I, thusly, upon reading it through:
No candy go away,
but neither do it stay.
Oct 31, 2008 at 3:19 pm rating: 18
#19
Andy
Check it out: that pumpkin candy bucket is doing that thing where you turn upside down and your chin looks like another whacky face! I love doing that!
Oct 31, 2008 at 4:25 pm rating: 3
#20
Ryan
The spray paint reminds me of the PA note written on the fridge left out at the end of the driveway? Anyone remember the link to that one?!
Oct 31, 2008 at 5:07 pm rating: 1
#21
Grey
Dear Environment/Holiday Committee,
Thank you so much for not wasting company funds on candy. I know in these tough economic times we need to find ways to tighten our belts. Fortunately you have done this in three ways; saving money for the company, saving us from calories, and getting the fatties to run around the office trying in vain to find a Plastic Lantern that still had some candy in it. Isn’t exercise great! You should be the Environment/Holiday/Run Fat Boy Run Committee. Good thing our emotionally stable co-workers don’t need the occasional birthday cake or holiday candy to keep them from showing up with shotguns.
It is also quite possible the angst of seeing an empty bucket just makes me want to pop your weasely little eyes out. In fact when I’m done sweating from that jog around the office I may just do that. Fuck you.
Sincerely,
Those of us who do stuff around here
Oct 31, 2008 at 5:11 pm rating: 7
#22
Schuyler Hauser
Perhaps the third note is directed at someone named Candy – ex-girlfriend, deadbeat sister, annoying neighborhood busybody – and just happens to fit the trick-or-treat theme. Candy seems like the type to not get the hint, like when not enough people responded to her party invite.
Oct 31, 2008 at 5:26 pm rating: 0
#23
Wisteria
Well with the economy and all…… “I guess we will just wreck our storm door with paint!”
Trailer Trash
Oct 31, 2008 at 6:28 pm rating: 0
#24
Julia
I think the first note writer failed at the guilt trip. If I were the thief, I wouldn’t feel bad about it, I’d just think that the note writer was pretty nice and quite understanding about the whole thing.
Needs more bitchiness to it, seriously.
Oct 31, 2008 at 6:53 pm rating: 1
#25
Woman on the Verge
Dear Pumpkinless People,
Your generosity seemingly knows no bounds. While you are feeling so warm and fuzzy, please consider leaving a turkey with the appropriate accompaniments, including condiments, outside by November 27.
Thank you,
The Pumpkin Thieves
P.S. We wouldn’t sneeze at iPods for Christmas, either!
Oct 31, 2008 at 9:51 pm rating: 7
#26
Canthz_B
Peter Peter will have to go without this year.
Nov 2, 2008 at 12:38 am rating: 1
#27
xenylamine
I’m in the process of packing to move, so I knew I wouldn’t be able to get the door this year… and I put out a basket of candy with a sign… and someone stole the basket. -_-
Nov 2, 2008 at 12:43 am rating: 0
#28
Pilgrimchick
I feel worse about the lack of Halloween candy in the office (with empty candy containers, too…what a slap in the face) than about he lost pumpkin. Although the lost-pumpkin folks get the nod for the most creative expression of their frustration.
Nov 2, 2008 at 4:18 pm rating: 0
#29
Cat
Awww. The frowny face candy bucket is more cutely sad than passive-aggressive.
Feb 7, 2009 at 3:52 pm rating: 0
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