spotted by lange from cambridge, mass. while campaigning for obama in new hampshire. says lange: “decided against bugging them with our political spiel. (we assumed they were obama supporters anyway.)”
meanwhile, corporate belt-tightening isn’t going over so well with the office grunts this halloween. “this was the response to the environment/holiday committee’s lack of halloween candy in the office after already ‘decorating’ the office with empty candy containers,” says our submitter in los angeles.
in oakridge, oregon, however — as our submitter tyree noticed — they don’t go in much for subtlelty.
related: pumpkin with a death wish









91 responses so far ↓
#1
Box

That pumpkin was fucking delicious.
Oct 31, 2008 at 11:58 am rating: +3 
#2
Eric B.

Of course John Candy isn’t there. He’s dead!
Oct 31, 2008 at 12:12 pm rating: +12 
#3
secondsout

The third note is written in a foreign language. It translates roughly into: “Please egg my house!”
Oct 31, 2008 at 12:18 pm rating: +47 
#4
Bunnee

To Whoever’s pumpkin we stole:
Thanks! I will enjoy it–as it goes SPLAT against your front door! (I assume this means I won’t be getting any candy?)
Kisses,
Pumpkin Thief
Oct 31, 2008 at 12:31 pm rating: +6 
#5
Tmarie

Totally awesome friend of my sister’s had a beautiful carved, artfully burned wood sign that said “No Halloweeners” but he always had good candy anyway. Similarly, he had a less ornate sign that said “No Girl Scout Cookies Bought Here”. But I think she told me he always bought a generous amount of cookies.
That whole “tradition” is ruined for me now because of the signs law enforcement are making sex offenders display. Which is what the screen door sign reminds me of.
Oct 31, 2008 at 12:37 pm rating: +2 
#6
bobthemonkey

They didn’t steal the pumpkin, they were redistributing it to someone more in “need”.
Oct 31, 2008 at 12:38 pm rating: +21 
#7
Joe

“we assumed they were obama supporters anyway.”
Because you were in Massachusetts, or because they didn’t mind their pumpkin being stolen for the sake of the pumpkin-less?
Oct 31, 2008 at 12:41 pm rating: +11 
#8
Joe

Also, what kind of committee is known as the Environment/Holiday committee? I guess they only put things out for Arbor Day and Earth Day. And by things, I mean paper and pencils made from recycled products. (Pay no attention to the plastic jack-o-lantern containers!)
Oct 31, 2008 at 12:46 pm rating: +1 
#9
JoelWhy

No candy, but he’ll have plenty of eggs, soon enough.
Oct 31, 2008 at 1:02 pm rating: +5 
#10
mere

hey, let’s turn that (post it) frown upside down.
i’ve got some raisins, they’re nature’s candy you know.
and some rice cakes. they’re nature’s coasters.
….
wait, what are you throwing at me?! OUCH! raisins hurt!
Oct 31, 2008 at 1:05 pm rating: +11 
#11
Jessica Gottlieb

Is it terrible that I want to correct the note to read “whomever”?
Oct 31, 2008 at 1:09 pm rating: +9 
#12
Tuesday

No candy, you say? Time to do something creative in your yard with my 24-pack of Charmin.
Oct 31, 2008 at 1:17 pm rating: +6 
#13
claw71

I think I know the people who posted the first note. They’re really pretty affable so I don’t believe this is passive-aggressive at all. I remember when somebody abducted their daughter last Decemember. They were upset but they took out an add in the local paper:
WHOEVER TOOK OUR DAUGHTER:
HOPE YOU ENJOY HER SINCE WE CANNOT.
IF YOU WANT THE CHRISTMAS PRESENTS WE ALREADY BOUGHT FOR HER THEY’LL BE UNDER THE BLUE TARP BEHIND THE SHED.
THANKS AND HAVE A HAPPY CHRISTMAS.”
Oct 31, 2008 at 1:26 pm rating: +23 
#14
Superdude

To whoever stole our pumpkin:
We’re buying a new one and we called our friend to protect it. Heisa monster.
Happy Halloween!
Oct 31, 2008 at 2:11 pm rating: +2 
#15
Juliet

That last note is my favourite. I more than understand where the note writer is coming from.
There are kids in my neighbourhood who ignore that all your lights are out, and would break into your house and search it for candy if their parents weren’t with them.
It would be great to reward such persistence with a water balloon ambush.
“So what if I soaked them? There aren’t any treats here, only tricks.”
Oct 31, 2008 at 2:35 pm rating: +4 
#16
Superdude

So the people in picture #3 hate children more than they like the storm window in their screen door?
I thought there was a law against selling spray-paint to minors and morons.
Oct 31, 2008 at 2:50 pm rating: +3 
#17
Anon

Hall monitor, this a preemptively aggressive post. Fuck you.
Oct 31, 2008 at 3:09 pm rating: +18