“as a college student used to her freedom, i’m sometimes gone for days at a time when i’m home for the summer,” explains jesse from gurnee, illinois, admitting that during this time, her betta fish, freddie mercury, tends to go unfed.
“my 14-year old-sister has shown him mercy a a few times,” jesse says, and admirably, “she’s never asked for thanks.” but freddie, it seems, has had just about enough of this neglect.
related: through a glass bowl, darkly
extra credit: “you can call me the manatee!” [youtube]
140 responses so far ↓
#1
zenvelo
Freddie has interesting reading choices. I wonder if that’s how he learned to write?
Nov 9, 2008 at 11:19 am rating: +15
#2
Wesley
Yes, that’s very funny, but beta fish should not be kept in a bowl. He needs at least 5 gallons, a heater to keep the water at at least 78 degrees, and a filter. Even if he is being fed enough, he is not being properly taken care of!
Poor fish.
Nov 9, 2008 at 11:30 am rating: +35
#3
Julia
Wow I would feel like shit if someone left me that note. Holy guilt trip, batman!
Nov 9, 2008 at 11:35 am rating: +10
#4
Ti O
Team younger sis. Jesse is a self absorbed prat that would be sans one fish if it weren’t for her sister.
Nov 9, 2008 at 11:47 am rating: +42
#5
MoxieHart
That Me Write Book looks interesting, what’s it about?
Nov 9, 2008 at 11:50 am rating: 0
#6
Denagh
I love this note! “feed me to the cat” too funny! Ppl should NOT Have pets if they don’t take care of them. Go Team little Sister!
Nov 9, 2008 at 12:00 pm rating: +20
#7
Nini
Yup, Jesse would have been better off buying herself another Frappucino instead of a fishie… go little sister! You should adopt Freddy and give him a proper tank…
Nov 9, 2008 at 12:09 pm rating: +16
#8
Jon
Is the title an Arrested Development reference?
Nov 9, 2008 at 12:35 pm rating: +4
#9
Ed Knittel
Sounds to me like Jesse doesn’t know much about what responsibility means. The only reason that you should be “gone for days” is if you’ve scored yourself a couple of eightballs and a few hookers. Be sure to get a couple of dime bags to take the edge off.
Otherwise, commit to what you committed to and start acting like an adult.
Nov 9, 2008 at 12:59 pm rating: +35
#10
Eric B.
Am I to assume from this note that the cat is not being fed, either? What a house of horrors!
Nov 9, 2008 at 1:00 pm rating: +46
#11
Timo
I would like a little tartar sauce on my fish with low self esteem. But a squeeze of lemon juice and a grind of pepper will do too.
Nov 9, 2008 at 1:15 pm rating: +9
#12
RiNK
Note=funny
Little sister=awesome
Jesse=asshole
Nov 9, 2008 at 1:21 pm rating: +34
#13
Canthz_B
Who feeds her Betta while she’s away at school enjoying “her freedom”?
This note seems tame compared to what her roomie probably left her. Why is Jesse keeping those from us?
Something is fishy here!
Nov 9, 2008 at 1:27 pm rating: +4
#14
Canthz_B
Jesse’s sister did NOT write this note…
…the cat did!!
Nov 9, 2008 at 1:30 pm rating: +36
#15
HairySwede
Betas can live for a long time without food.
I was gone for 6 weeks and just threw my beta into the bathtub full of water and a couple of two week slow release fish food biscuits. The fish was still alive when I came back. Kind of a reddish color but alive and my apartment smelled awful but aside from that no noticeable damage.
Nov 9, 2008 at 2:18 pm rating: +4
#16
secondsout
Jesse’s not totally selfish. She knew that the fish would be bored, so she left a couple books to read.
Nov 9, 2008 at 2:41 pm rating: +20
#17
bean
ummm…no. wait! it’ll come to me
“…right meow”
Nov 9, 2008 at 2:54 pm rating: +3
#18
secondsout
It’s good to have the pet supplies conveniently located. So when Jesse or Tiffany need to brush the fish, the brush is right there.
Nov 9, 2008 at 3:06 pm rating: +5
#19
Canthz_B
Little sis is quite the creative one.
I’ve never seen a dotted capital ‘J’ before, but she makes it work somehow! ★
Nov 9, 2008 at 3:25 pm rating: +10
#20
marcopuffin
PS
I want to break free…
Nov 9, 2008 at 4:21 pm rating: +10
#21
T.U.M.
I wonder where that fish has gone.
I did love it so. I looked after it like a son,
And it went wherever I did go.
Is it in the cupboard?
Yes! Yes! No!…
Wouldn’t you like to know?
It was a lovely little fish.
And it went wherever I did go.
Where can that fish be?
It is a most elusive fish!
And it went wherever I did go.
Ooooh, fishy, fishy, fishy fish!
A-fish, a-fish, a-fish, a-fishy, ooooh.
Ooooh, fishy, fishy, fishy fish!
That went wherever I did go.
Nov 9, 2008 at 4:22 pm rating: +7
#22
souldesqueeze
Brilliant! Anthropomorphization is the key to my heart.
Nov 9, 2008 at 6:04 pm rating: +2
#23
Goldie
An emo fish with thoughts of suicide. A stoner cat with a bad case of munchies. The two find themselves living under the same roof when Jessie comes home for the summer. At first they find it hard to accept each other’s differences, but love conquers all. Both will fondly remember it as the best summer of their lives.
Read all about it in the new bestseller, “Me Write Book”. Order today!
Nov 9, 2008 at 9:30 pm rating: +7
#24
aaa
Of course your little sister has never asked for thanks. She’s waiting for the day when she goes away for days at a time and lets you go unfed. I doubt Freddie Mercury would show you any mercy even if he did have thumbs.
Nov 9, 2008 at 9:52 pm rating: +1
#25
LM
That fish looks fucking delicious!
Nov 9, 2008 at 11:40 pm rating: +1
#26
Canadian Deadhead
I can’t help wondering if this wasn’t a set-up to see if little sister would step up to assist….a beta-test, indeed!
Nov 9, 2008 at 11:41 pm rating: +4
#27
biscuit
Jesse’s gone down a slippery slope indeed. Freddie’s next work will petition the state to have little sister be his primary care giver.
Nov 10, 2008 at 12:04 am rating: +4
#28
MsUnreliable
Ms. Fish is actually having an affair with Mr. Cat, and will use any excuse to see her forbidden love. The blatant euphemisms are a dead giveaway.
Nov 10, 2008 at 12:41 am rating: +1
#29
Ashley
Does anybody wonder who is feeding the cat?
Nov 10, 2008 at 1:50 am rating: +1
#30
marcopuffin
One, two, three, four, five
Once I bought a fish alive.
Six, seven, eight, nine, ten
My sister fed him now and then.
Why don’t you take care of Fred?
Well I don’t need to now he’s dead.
Why did Freddie cease to flap?
Because I didn’t give a crap.
Nov 10, 2008 at 5:21 am rating: +20
#31
pirate dog
I thought I was the only one who had a beta fish named Freddie Mercury.
Your little sister is right, you suck. Oh, and get your fish a bigger bowl, please.
Nov 10, 2008 at 8:30 am rating: +7
#32
Betta Saviour
I have a betta fish named Master Betta and he’s perfectly happy living in a small ornate bowl on my credenza at the office. He’s not fed over the weekends and seems to be fine with it.
I figured I was saving him from dying a cruel death in the teeny take out container looking thing crammed on the end counter shelf of the pet store.
I can’t judge Jesse too harshly. I too would probably lose sight of my good fish saving intentions if a hooker came by with a dime bag.
Nov 10, 2008 at 9:36 am rating: +6
#33
Dare
75 Friggin Responses and not a single “Fish Called Wanda” reference?!? Are you kidding me?!?
Nov 10, 2008 at 9:46 am rating: +1
#34
Heather Grace
That fish can’t breathe if you put books over the top of his bowl! How cruel is that?! Give that fish to someone who will take care of it. CRUELTY!
Nov 10, 2008 at 10:51 am rating: +1
#35
Mung Bean
Bettas are notorious for jumping. That little guy would probably launch himself right out of that bowl, given the opportunity. I’m guessing Freddie has a history on this, which explains the copious amount of reading material on top of his bowl.
That said, a little nylon mesh across the top would be sufficient. And, oh yeah, a bigger tank with a real lid would be greaaaat…
Alternately, Tiffany could just remove the books and let nature take its course. The cat would certainly find Freddie fucking delicious.
Nov 10, 2008 at 11:03 am rating: +4
#36
Dare
It was my understanding that Bettas prefer smaller bowls because they don’t wander very far in their native environment.
Nov 10, 2008 at 11:14 am rating: +1
#37
Goldie
Damn fish are that high-maintenance? Screw them. I’m sticking with the dog.
Nov 10, 2008 at 1:13 pm rating: 0
#38
Forgetful Lucy
Team Freddie. Keeping a pet animal is a commitment, Jesse, and if you can’t make arrangements for your pet to be taken care of while you’re out “loving your freedom”, you shouldn’t have adopted one. Either take some responsibility and make sure someone feeds Freddie, or give Freddie to your sister permanently since she, evidently, gives a damn about the little guy’s welfare.
Nov 10, 2008 at 1:48 pm rating: +3
#39
Bellabeastie
I used to have a little goldfish named Earl that lived on my desk for two years.
He would get real excited and swim all over every time the phone rang…. then I got fired, and having two cats I couldn’t bring Earl to live at my pad. What to do? AHA ! Earl got to live the rest of his little fishy life in my Mom’s fancy schmancy 40 gallon tank where he was the life of the party!
*snif* I lurved that little guy…
Nov 10, 2008 at 4:22 pm rating: +3
#40
MW
My beta has a ten gallon tank with mirrored sides all to himself and gets fed on a daily basis. All betas should be treated this well. I mean, shit…do you see how poorly they live before you buy them?!
Nov 10, 2008 at 4:36 pm rating: +3
#41
Sam
He really does need a bigger tank and oxygen – poor guy! There is a lot of information out there and with a little research you can give him a much, much happier and healthier life.
Nov 10, 2008 at 7:43 pm rating: +1
#42
unfortunate names blog
Why does a fish have better handwriting than me?
Nov 10, 2008 at 9:00 pm rating: +1
#43
EIT
No point in buying these to ‘rescue’ them from their cramped containers at the pet store. All that does is foster demand. If you think this is cruel, just stop buying them. What doesn’t sell obviously won’t be re-stocked.
As for being “perfectly happy living in a small ornate bowl”, is that a euphemism for ‘not dead yet’? Doubt the fish is as “happy” as he would be living and mating in his native environment.
Nov 11, 2008 at 10:55 am rating: +2
#44
Kelly
That’s awesome, the first thing I noticed was Lamb as well. Man I love Christopher Moore.
Nov 11, 2008 at 11:07 am rating: 0
#45
Michael Lee
I’m new here landed up searching blogs on resources on Self Esteem. cool blog you have here, keep it up. and its nice to be here. i’ll be back some time later for more updates.Thanks for sharing with us….
Nov 12, 2008 at 2:55 am rating: 0
#46
300baud
So little appreciation of what a twit she is, she posts the evidence for all to see.
Jan 7, 2009 at 4:32 pm rating: 0
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