Next on fish with low self-esteem

November 9th, 2008 · 139 comments

“As a college student used to her freedom, I’m sometimes gone for days at a time when I’m home for the summer,” explains Jesse from Gurnee, Illinois, admitting that during this time, her betta fish, Freddie Mercury, tends to go unfed.

“My 14-year old-sister has shown him mercy a a few times,” Jesse says, and admirably, “she’s never asked for thanks.” But Freddie, it seems, has had just about enough of this neglect.

Tiffany fed me, no thanks to you. Do you want me dead? Just feed me to the cat.

related: Through a glass bowl, darkly
extra credit: “You can call me the manatee!” [youtube]

FILED UNDER: anthropomorphism · family · guilt trip · Illinois · most popular notes of 2008


139 responses so far ↓

  • #1   zenvelo

    Freddie has interesting reading choices. I wonder if that’s how he learned to write?

    Nov 9, 2008 at 11:19 am   rating: 21  small thumbs up

    • #1.1   bean

      This fish has MOST EXCELLENT tastes in reading! That’s Lamb right there, that is! Most excellent tastes indeed!

      Nov 9, 2008 at 2:47 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.2   Juliet

      “Lamb” was hilarious!

      Nov 9, 2008 at 3:56 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.3   Amandasaurus

      Is it sad that the fact that Christopher Moore’s “Lamb” was on the bowl was the first thing I noticed? Brief anecdote…
      I was on vacation in San Francisco this summer, and brought Moore’s Book “You Suck” along to read. Unfortunately, I finished it on the first day of the trip. I noticed that the book took place in San Fran, as did a few of his others, and figured he was probably from there. I trekked on down to City Lights Bookstore to pick up something else of his, but they didn’t carry anything.
      In the back of “You Suck” was his email address. I jotted him a quick note from my iPhone to tell him that they didn’t have his books. He responded five minutes later with, “They don’t carry my stuff because I’m not ‘cool’ enough :(”

      In retrospect, I should have printed his email and left it, folded, on the shelf where his books would have been. “City Lights doesn’t carry Christopher Moore’s books. I guess he’s not ‘cool’ enough.”
      Yet another missed PAN opportunity…

      Nov 9, 2008 at 10:13 pm   rating: 15  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.4   bean

      The Chris Moore site is totally how I found about this one; someone posted it, but I can’t remember which thread… I love that it kinda came full circle this way!

      He is BY FAR the coolest.

      Nov 9, 2008 at 10:17 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.5   BredWell

      Fish literature is highly over-rated. Christopher Moore, on the other hand, is fine food for felines. (aaaah . . . alliteration!)

      Nov 10, 2008 at 11:18 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.6   Christopher Moore

      Awe, you guys are nice. Just for that, I’ll keep writing books. (I do wish you’d left that note at City Lights. The wankers.

      Yeah, it’s me. :)

      Nov 10, 2008 at 9:06 pm   rating: 30  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.7   jjuice bang

      I hate this site. I found it tonight and have just “lost” 2 hours, wet my knickers 3 times (the first time I caught it in a tena lady…but I only had 1 £5 to dispose of it, thanks Sandra) and now I have to go and buy a new book on top of that. Oh and Christopher Moore actually lives inaccessible island fortress in the Pacific so you must have been lying, or Amazon are, or it is taken from some bizarre footnote, or

      Jan 8, 2009 at 3:59 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #2   Wesley

    Yes, that’s very funny, but beta fish should not be kept in a bowl. He needs at least 5 gallons, a heater to keep the water at at least 78 degrees, and a filter. Even if he is being fed enough, he is not being properly taken care of!

    Poor fish.

    Nov 9, 2008 at 11:30 am   rating: 52  small thumbs up

    • #2.1   MoxieHart

      I’m calling Fish Protective Services.

      Nov 9, 2008 at 11:49 am   rating: 46  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.2   John the Fish Guy

      Actually, Betas are native to the rice patties of Asia and thus they don’t like the water to be moving around so the filter isn’t necessarily a good idea. I’m with you on the 5 gallon tank though.

      Nov 9, 2008 at 12:32 pm   rating: 20  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.3   Bunnee

      How about the books piled on top? Does he not need oxygen, too?

      Nov 9, 2008 at 11:01 pm   rating: 20  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.4   amazon bang

      Next you’re going to say that he looks lonely, and needs another beta fish in the tank with him to keep him company. ;)

      Nov 10, 2008 at 5:33 am   rating: 16  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.5   tinkerbell2

      I used to have 3 bettas – Jean-Claude and his two concubines, Edith Piaf and Marie-Antoinette. Edith committed suicide by jumping out and vanishing down the back of the book-case. I blame myself for giving her such a depressing name.

      Not relevant, perhaps. Ooh, yes it is – my point was that her betta could have a friend in there as long as she was a lady-friend. Betta safe than sorry.

      Nov 10, 2008 at 7:33 am   rating: 31  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.6   djr

      I agree. Just because something *can* survive in a certain environment doesn’t mean it should be made to *have* to.

      Nov 10, 2008 at 10:32 am   rating: 11  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #3   Julia

    Wow I would feel like shit if someone left me that note. Holy guilt trip, batman!

    Nov 9, 2008 at 11:35 am   rating: 10  small thumbs up

     
  • #4   Ti O

    Team younger sis. Jesse is a self absorbed prat that would be sans one fish if it weren’t for her sister.

    Nov 9, 2008 at 11:47 am   rating: 54  small thumbs up

     
  • #5   MoxieHart

    That Me Write Book looks interesting, what’s it about?

    Nov 9, 2008 at 11:50 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #5.1   anglophile bang

      It’s a heartbreaking, yet funny autobiography of Freddie Mercury, chronicling the life of a hungry, cold, cramped betta fish who overcame all obstacles and learned to type by leaping out of the bowl onto the keyboard, only to be recaptured and incarcerated again. I laughed, I cried, I fed my goldfish to my cat to ease its suffering.

      Nov 9, 2008 at 12:11 pm   rating: 81  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.2   Timo bang

      Christopher Moore is hilarious. “Island of the Sequined Love Nun” and “Bloodsucking Fiends: A Love Story” are my favourites!

      Nov 9, 2008 at 1:20 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.3   Amanda

      It’s by Graham Roumieu, an autobiography of Bigfoot. It’s extraordinarily funny, I highly recommend it!

      Nov 9, 2008 at 2:01 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.4   bean

      Chris Moore is coming out with a new book this feb (I believe) called Fool, just a heads up Timo! :D

      Did you read Love Sucks, the sequel to BSF?

      Nov 9, 2008 at 2:50 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.5   anglophile bang

      Timo: favourites? Is this an inside Chris Moore joke, or did you suddenly become British? ;)

      Nov 9, 2008 at 2:55 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.6   Juliet

      Maybe Timo is Canadian. We tend to throw in extra ‘u’s into words:

      Neighbour
      Favourite
      Colour
      Moustache

      and so on. Don’t know if it is a Moore joke, I hope so!

      Nov 9, 2008 at 3:59 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.7   anglophile bang

      I could have asked if he was Australian or New Zealander (?), too, but I figured I’d go straight to the source. ;)

      Nov 9, 2008 at 4:04 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.8   James

      Sorce?

      Nov 9, 2008 at 5:39 pm   rating: 13  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.9   Canthz_B bang

      Yes, “sorce”. It’s what sorcerers do. :lol:

      Nov 9, 2008 at 8:43 pm   rating: 11  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.10   jackie31337

      My guess with a name like Timo is that he’s Finnish. It used to be that Finns learned British English in school. I think now they might teach both British and American English, or maybe even American English exclusively.

      Nov 10, 2008 at 7:21 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.11   anglophile bang

      My guess is that Timo lives somewhere in AZ, probably Phoenix, but has solid midwestern roots, probably Wisconsin, based on the language of his past postings, but that would just be a rough guess.

      Nov 10, 2008 at 7:57 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.12   Timo bang

      Voi sinua tunne minua? On totta, olen kotoisin puolivälissä länteen, mutta asuu Lounais nyt.

      Nov 10, 2008 at 8:32 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.13   Timo bang

      Haluaisin täysin suudella ja koskettaa englantilaisystävällinen jos minulla oli saatavilla mies ja hän oli yksin. Hän on hyvin herttainen ja kaunis.

      Nov 10, 2008 at 8:47 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.14   Goldie

      Terve, uustää! But seriously, holy cow! Is there a language you do not speak?

      Nov 10, 2008 at 9:38 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.15   Timo bang

      Olen alkanut pitää sinusta enemmän arjessa. Haluatko suudella ja halata? :wink: :lol:

      Nov 10, 2008 at 10:58 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.16   Goldie

      Yeah, sure, why not :)
      Actually my knowledge of Finnish is pretty much limited to “terve uustää”, plus I can count to five. I’m fluent in Russian, though :)

      Nov 10, 2008 at 1:08 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.17   Timo bang

      Sorry I know nothing of Russian that is beyond rudimentary elements; Where to eat, where to drink, where is the bathroom and where to sleep.

      Nov 10, 2008 at 1:28 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.18   Goldie

      If you want to learn how to swear in Russian, you’ve come to the right person :)

      Nov 10, 2008 at 1:48 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.19   ????? ??????????

      Or if you just want a Russian to swear at, you’ve come to the right person.

      —Borya

      (Hey, what gives? ????? ?????????? showed correctly in the preview… but I guess Cyrillic is not allowed on this site. Next you’re going to tell me I can’t use Arabic or Chinese, either. Which would be okay, actually, since I don’t know how to write Arabic or Chinese.)

      Nov 11, 2008 at 1:11 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.20   Timo bang

      Nov 11, 2008 at 1:25 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #6   Denagh

    I love this note! “feed me to the cat” too funny! Ppl should NOT Have pets if they don’t take care of them. Go Team little Sister!

    Nov 9, 2008 at 12:00 pm   rating: 27  small thumbs up

    • #6.1   Juliet

      I too love this note.

      Nov 9, 2008 at 4:02 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #7   Nini

    Yup, Jesse would have been better off buying herself another Frappucino instead of a fishie… go little sister! You should adopt Freddy and give him a proper tank…

    Nov 9, 2008 at 12:09 pm   rating: 22  small thumbs up

    • #7.1   BurstingAtTheSeams

      I’ve decided to gigglebrax a comment here for no other reason than to use the word gigglebrax.

      Hopefully it will earn its place in the internet world among other great words, like lolcat and noob.

      Then it can be credited back here to PAN, and its creator, Unholyghost2003.

      Nov 9, 2008 at 10:00 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.2   unfortunate names blog

      gigglebrax is the new traclked

      Nov 14, 2008 at 7:33 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #8   Jon

    Is the title an Arrested Development reference?

    Nov 9, 2008 at 12:35 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

     
  • #9   Ed Knittel

    Sounds to me like Jesse doesn’t know much about what responsibility means. The only reason that you should be “gone for days” is if you’ve scored yourself a couple of eightballs and a few hookers. Be sure to get a couple of dime bags to take the edge off.

    Otherwise, commit to what you committed to and start acting like an adult.

    Nov 9, 2008 at 12:59 pm   rating: 39  small thumbs up

    • #9.1   BurstingAtTheSeams

      Perhaps that’s just what Jesse has been doing. Give her the benefit of the doubt…

      Jesse + Hookers = no food for Beta

      Nov 9, 2008 at 9:55 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.2   Canthz_B bang

      Jesse + dime bags = Beta for food

      Nov 9, 2008 at 10:11 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.3   BurstingAtTheSeams

      If
      Jesse + Hookers = no food for Beta
      and
      Jesse + dime bags = Beta for Food
      Then
      Jesse + Hookers + Dime bags = _____?

      Nov 9, 2008 at 11:00 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.4   Bunnee

      Tuesday afternoon…

      Nov 9, 2008 at 11:04 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.5   aaa

      Jesse + Hookers + Dime bags = a swiss-cheesed syphilitic brain for Jesse and a new fish for Jesse’s little sister

      Nov 9, 2008 at 11:19 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #10   Eric B.

    Am I to assume from this note that the cat is not being fed, either? What a house of horrors!

    Nov 9, 2008 at 1:00 pm   rating: 53  small thumbs up

     
  • #11   Timo bang

    I would like a little tartar sauce on my fish with low self esteem. But a squeeze of lemon juice and a grind of pepper will do too.

    Nov 9, 2008 at 1:15 pm   rating: 9  small thumbs up

     
  • #12   RiNK

    Note=funny
    Little sister=awesome
    Jesse=asshole

    Nov 9, 2008 at 1:21 pm   rating: 38  small thumbs up

     
  • #13   Canthz_B bang

    Who feeds her Betta while she’s away at school enjoying “her freedom”?
    This note seems tame compared to what her roomie probably left her. Why is Jesse keeping those from us?
    Something is fishy here!

    Nov 9, 2008 at 1:27 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

     
  • #14   Canthz_B bang

    Jesse’s sister did NOT write this note…

    …the cat did!! ;-)

    Nov 9, 2008 at 1:30 pm   rating: 40  small thumbs up

    • #14.1   anglophile bang

      If that were true, CB, it would read:

      o hai! Tiffny fed mee no thnx too u

      Doo u wants mee ded?

      Jsut feede mee too teh kitteh

      Nov 9, 2008 at 2:58 pm   rating: 61  small thumbs up

       
    • #14.2   Mishee bang

      We all know that kittehs prefer cheezburgers to fishies.

      Nov 10, 2008 at 1:42 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #14.3   Fillet Mcfishermann

      What about one of my fine fish Mcsammiches lass?

      Nov 10, 2008 at 4:03 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #15   HairySwede

    Betas can live for a long time without food.

    I was gone for 6 weeks and just threw my beta into the bathtub full of water and a couple of two week slow release fish food biscuits. The fish was still alive when I came back. Kind of a reddish color but alive and my apartment smelled awful but aside from that no noticeable damage.

    Nov 9, 2008 at 2:18 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

    • #15.1   Canthz_B bang

      Explains why cats follow you. :mrgreen:

      Nov 9, 2008 at 2:52 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #15.2   jess

      thats so cruel. i cried when my beta died. sounds like you didnt care if yours was really there when you got home. did you not have any friends or family members to fish sit him?

      Nov 9, 2008 at 3:35 pm   rating: 13  small thumbs up

       
    • #15.3   amazon bang

      Jess, welcome to the internet, where people often say horrible things for sarcasm and/or shock value.

      …at least I hope that story wasn’t actually real…

      Nov 10, 2008 at 5:29 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #15.4   Goldie

      You guys have no heart. Take, for example, my husband, Mr. Goldie. Maybe you will learn from him. A few weeks ago, Mr. Goldie’s friend took him fishing. Mr.Goldie caught a steelhead and brought him home. Did he turn the steelhead into a fish filet, fish broth and fish stew? No. My saintly husband named the fish Harry and built a home for him in our bathtub. I haven’t had a bath in weeks. My coworkers are complaining about the smell, but none of it matters as long as Harry is happy. He is very affectionate and cuddly and truly a family member. We take turns reading to Harry from our beloved Russian classics. He especially enjoys Dostoyevsky. When we’re at work, a certified fish sitter comes to watch Harry for a mere $20/day. What should we get Harry for Christmas? We’ve been thinking a blow dryer.

      Nov 10, 2008 at 1:36 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #15.5   jess

      lol. yes i know of this sarcasm you speak of. the bit about friend (or lack there of) was supposed to be sarcastic. unless they really dont have friends. then its just cruel i guess.

      Nov 10, 2008 at 3:27 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #16   secondsout bang

    Jesse’s not totally selfish. She knew that the fish would be bored, so she left a couple books to read.

    Nov 9, 2008 at 2:41 pm   rating: 22  small thumbs up

    • #16.1   Canthz_B bang

      “Sel-fish”…HA!”

      Chris Matthews

      Nov 9, 2008 at 2:49 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #16.2   secondsout bang

      Maybe next time, though, some more appropriate titles, like
      One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish, Blue Fish
      The Fisher King
      Fish Out of Water
      Moby Dick
      The Phish Companion

      Nov 9, 2008 at 2:51 pm   rating: 10  small thumbs up

       
    • #16.3   Canthz_B bang

      Or a few videos?

      “The Incredible Mr. Limpet”
      “A Fish Called Wanda”
      “Jaws”

      Nov 9, 2008 at 3:05 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #16.4   secondsout bang

      I was thinking about that, maybe
      Big Fish
      Spongebob Squarepants
      Free Willy

      Nov 9, 2008 at 3:08 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #16.5   Canthz_B bang

      “Free Willy” is rated XXX…no, wait…that’s “Free My Willy”!

      Nov 9, 2008 at 3:16 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #16.6   Timo bang

      Old Man and The Sea”
      Jacques-Yves Cousteau Nat Geo boxed set.

      Nov 10, 2008 at 8:42 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #17   bean

    ummm…no. wait! it’ll come to me

    “…right meow”
    :D

    Nov 9, 2008 at 2:54 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #17.1   Mishee bang

      ok, that was a very sneaky one bean! but I will give you a point for today… it almost escaped my attention! :)

      Nov 10, 2008 at 3:52 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #18   secondsout bang

    It’s good to have the pet supplies conveniently located. So when Jesse or Tiffany need to brush the fish, the brush is right there.

    Nov 9, 2008 at 3:06 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

     
  • #19   Canthz_B bang

    Little sis is quite the creative one.
    I’ve never seen a dotted capital ‘J’ before, but she makes it work somehow! ★

    Nov 9, 2008 at 3:25 pm   rating: 10  small thumbs up

     
  • #20   marcopuffin bang

    PS
    I want to break free…

    Nov 9, 2008 at 4:21 pm   rating: 10  small thumbs up

    • #20.1   James

      keep yourself alive… let me live… save me…

      Nov 9, 2008 at 5:44 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #21   T.U.M.

    I wonder where that fish has gone.
    I did love it so. I looked after it like a son,
    And it went wherever I did go.
    Is it in the cupboard?
    Yes! Yes! No!…
    Wouldn’t you like to know?
    It was a lovely little fish.
    And it went wherever I did go.
    Where can that fish be?
    It is a most elusive fish!
    And it went wherever I did go.
    Ooooh, fishy, fishy, fishy fish!
    A-fish, a-fish, a-fish, a-fishy, ooooh.
    Ooooh, fishy, fishy, fishy fish!
    That went wherever I did go.

    Nov 9, 2008 at 4:22 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

     
  • #22   souldesqueeze

    Brilliant! Anthropomorphization is the key to my heart.

    Nov 9, 2008 at 6:04 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #23   Goldie

    An emo fish with thoughts of suicide. A stoner cat with a bad case of munchies. The two find themselves living under the same roof when Jessie comes home for the summer. At first they find it hard to accept each other’s differences, but love conquers all. Both will fondly remember it as the best summer of their lives.
    Read all about it in the new bestseller, “Me Write Book”. Order today!

    Nov 9, 2008 at 9:30 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

     
  • #24   aaa

    Of course your little sister has never asked for thanks. She’s waiting for the day when she goes away for days at a time and lets you go unfed. I doubt Freddie Mercury would show you any mercy even if he did have thumbs.

    Nov 9, 2008 at 9:52 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #24.1   secondsout bang

      Tiffany must love it when Jesse is away at college and she doesn’t have to deal with the superficial bitch.

      Nov 10, 2008 at 1:54 am   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #25   LM

    That fish looks fucking delicious!

    Nov 9, 2008 at 11:40 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #26   Canadian Deadhead

    I can’t help wondering if this wasn’t a set-up to see if little sister would step up to assist….a beta-test, indeed! ;)

    Nov 9, 2008 at 11:41 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

     
  • #27   biscuit

    Jesse’s gone down a slippery slope indeed. Freddie’s next work will petition the state to have little sister be his primary care giver.

    Nov 10, 2008 at 12:04 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

     
  • #28   MsUnreliable

    Ms. Fish is actually having an affair with Mr. Cat, and will use any excuse to see her forbidden love. The blatant euphemisms are a dead giveaway.

    Nov 10, 2008 at 12:41 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #29   Ashley

    Does anybody wonder who is feeding the cat?

    Nov 10, 2008 at 1:50 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #29.1   amazon bang

      Eric B. from Comment #10 does.

      Nov 10, 2008 at 5:32 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #30   marcopuffin bang

    One, two, three, four, five
    Once I bought a fish alive.

    Six, seven, eight, nine, ten
    My sister fed him now and then.

    Why don’t you take care of Fred?
    Well I don’t need to now he’s dead.

    Why did Freddie cease to flap?
    Because I didn’t give a crap.

    Nov 10, 2008 at 5:21 am   rating: 23  small thumbs up

     
  • #31   pirate dog

    I thought I was the only one who had a beta fish named Freddie Mercury.
    Your little sister is right, you suck. Oh, and get your fish a bigger bowl, please.

    Nov 10, 2008 at 8:30 am   rating: 9  small thumbs up

     
  • #32   Betta Saviour

    I have a betta fish named Master Betta and he’s perfectly happy living in a small ornate bowl on my credenza at the office. He’s not fed over the weekends and seems to be fine with it.

    I figured I was saving him from dying a cruel death in the teeny take out container looking thing crammed on the end counter shelf of the pet store.

    I can’t judge Jesse too harshly. I too would probably lose sight of my good fish saving intentions if a hooker came by with a dime bag.

    Nov 10, 2008 at 9:36 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

    • #32.1   Goldie

      With a name like Master Betta, no wonder he is happy.

      Nov 10, 2008 at 5:55 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #32.2   Betta Saviour

      Yeah – I stack Playboys on top of his bowl. He only likes the articles though.

      Nov 10, 2008 at 6:10 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #33   Dare

    75 Friggin Responses and not a single “Fish Called Wanda” reference?!? Are you kidding me?!?

    Nov 10, 2008 at 9:46 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #33.1   Mishee bang

      Jesus Christ Dare! I just got into work!! Give me a second to get my coffee dammit!

      I mean seriously! I have worn dresses with higher IQs than you!

      Nov 10, 2008 at 10:16 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #33.2   Timo bang

      Yes see 16.3 it still counts as a reference. Apes don’t read philosophy.

      Nov 10, 2008 at 10:34 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #33.3   Mishee bang

      Yes Timo, they do read it… they just don’t understand it!

      Duh!

      Nov 10, 2008 at 10:49 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #33.4   anglophile bang

      Aristotle was not Belgian.

      Nov 10, 2008 at 10:52 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #33.5   Timo bang

      The London Underground is not a political movement.

      Nov 10, 2008 at 10:54 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #33.6   Dare

      Mishee, your inability to get to work on time so that you can hurry up and slack is neither my fault nor my problem. And leave your dress on the floor where you dropped it last night. It doesn’t deserve to be pulled into this sordid affair.

      Now leave me alone while I read my Nietzsche!

      Nov 10, 2008 at 11:11 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #33.7   Mishee bang

      Remember dare, not all of us go by the time that is published with our comments… see, there are these things call Time Zones and mine is about 3 hours earlier than this website.

      So its almost like I am a time traveler!

      Nov 10, 2008 at 11:17 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #33.8   Dare

      Asshole!

      Nov 10, 2008 at 11:29 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #33.9   Timo bang

      Nice fish, Jesse. You know what Nietzsche said about animals? “They were God’s second blunder.

      Nov 10, 2008 at 11:33 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #33.10   Clumber

      Misheeeeee – only ‘almost’ ???

      Nov 10, 2008 at 12:42 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #33.11   Goldie

      Dare – I was waiting for “I’m just a poor fish, nobody loves me – he’s just a poor fish from a poor family…” Two days… nothing.

      Nov 10, 2008 at 1:11 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #33.12   secondsout bang

      What’s funnier about Otto screwing up Nietzsche is actually knowing what he said. Nietzsche actually said that women were God’s second blunder.

      Nov 10, 2008 at 2:41 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #33.13   Canthz_B bang

      Well, Dare,
      You made two really stupid mistakes, but at least you apologized by declaring yourself an asshole so no one else had to do it for you. ;-)

      Nov 11, 2008 at 1:33 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #34   Heather Grace

    That fish can’t breathe if you put books over the top of his bowl! How cruel is that?! Give that fish to someone who will take care of it. CRUELTY!

    Nov 10, 2008 at 10:51 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #34.1   anglophile bang

      I don’t know how that fish could breathe in all that water, either! They should just keep it in a cardboard box. Maybe with a blanket.

      :roll:

      Nov 10, 2008 at 10:54 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #34.2   Timo bang

      And with a wee little pillow.

      Nov 10, 2008 at 10:55 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #34.3   Timo bang

      Actually Bettas do have a organ in the top of their head that they are able to take in atmospheric oxygen with. They can actually drown. I just learned all i care to know about bettas on wikipedia. I will never get that time back.

      Nov 10, 2008 at 12:51 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #34.4   wrong

      Hey anglophile, maybe you should do a little research next time before mocking someone who actually has a point.

      Nov 10, 2008 at 12:58 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #34.5   Mishee bang

      wrong, maybe you should learn about internet sarcasm before you go attacking a beloved regular, which can only end badly for you.

      Nov 10, 2008 at 1:02 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #34.6   RunBarbara bang

      hey wrong, your name says it all.
      the only thing i have to add is:
      maybe you should research sarcasm before making fun of someone that is actually funny.

      Nov 10, 2008 at 1:08 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #34.7   Timo bang

      Sarcasm ur doin it rong wrong. :roll:

      I hardly imagine that those books are going to make such an airtight seal that will block the suffusion of tiny oxygen atoms into the airspace above the water. I don’t think that the tiny labyrinth organ in the top of their head is capable in gulping in massive amounts of air that will cause him to drown due to him using up all the oxygen in that airspace.

      So really the original comment was silly, cute and quaint and possibly without any knowledge of the breathing idosycrasies of the betta.

      Of greater concern would be the keeping of the fish in such a small container without proper water changes.

      Shove off now wrong tool!

      Nov 10, 2008 at 1:15 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #34.8   anglophile bang

      My dear wrong,

      We are not at this website to discuss fish. We are at this website to make fun of p/a notes, those who write them, those who submit them, and those who comment on them. I don’t mind being called out for inaccuracy, but I do mind that you didn’t take the time to be either clever or at least so nasty that it would be worth Mishee’s and RB’s and Timo’s time defending me. Please couch your next attack in either wittier or more vicious terms.

      Hugs and kisses!

      ~anglophile

      Nov 10, 2008 at 1:22 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #34.9   Frankie bang

      You have been served.

      Nov 10, 2008 at 1:28 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #34.10   spiraling

      Of course if you actually look at the photo, you can tell that on the back side (to us) of the bowl, the books aren’t completely covering the top. So Freddy’s getting oxygen.

      (I’m still on Team Tiffany, though. Also, I’m intrigued by a family that names its daughters Jesse & Tiffany … one very androgynous and one very girly.)

      Nov 10, 2008 at 4:51 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #34.11   Canthz_B bang

      Unless Jesse is short for Jessica. I’ve seen Jess, Jesse, Jessi & Jessie used in this manner.

      Nov 11, 2008 at 1:42 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #35   Mung Bean

    Bettas are notorious for jumping. That little guy would probably launch himself right out of that bowl, given the opportunity. I’m guessing Freddie has a history on this, which explains the copious amount of reading material on top of his bowl.

    That said, a little nylon mesh across the top would be sufficient. And, oh yeah, a bigger tank with a real lid would be greaaaat…

    Alternately, Tiffany could just remove the books and let nature take its course. The cat would certainly find Freddie fucking delicious.

    Nov 10, 2008 at 11:03 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

     
  • #36   Dare

    It was my understanding that Bettas prefer smaller bowls because they don’t wander very far in their native environment.

    Nov 10, 2008 at 11:14 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #37   Goldie

    Damn fish are that high-maintenance? Screw them. I’m sticking with the dog.

    Nov 10, 2008 at 1:13 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #37.1   Bunnee

      I figured that out after about one month with our Beta. He was more high maintenance than my cat, so I flushed him. :)

      Nov 10, 2008 at 4:25 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #38   Forgetful Lucy

    Team Freddie. Keeping a pet animal is a commitment, Jesse, and if you can’t make arrangements for your pet to be taken care of while you’re out “loving your freedom”, you shouldn’t have adopted one. Either take some responsibility and make sure someone feeds Freddie, or give Freddie to your sister permanently since she, evidently, gives a damn about the little guy’s welfare.

    Nov 10, 2008 at 1:48 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

    • #38.1   Mishee bang

      *wonders what other types of pets there are besides animals – except of course RB’s mom*

      Nov 10, 2008 at 2:00 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #38.2   Mishee bang

      Personally I have always wanted a pet Animal. But every time I got to the Muppet Store they were fresh out!

      Nov 10, 2008 at 2:24 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #38.3   Timo bang

      When I got to the pet store all they had was rocks and dead puppies. Now i have to take my dog out for a drag all the time. It does seem to get easier with each passing day though.

      Nov 10, 2008 at 2:32 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #39   Bellabeastie

    I used to have a little goldfish named Earl that lived on my desk for two years.

    He would get real excited and swim all over every time the phone rang…. then I got fired, and having two cats I couldn’t bring Earl to live at my pad. What to do? AHA ! Earl got to live the rest of his little fishy life in my Mom’s fancy schmancy 40 gallon tank where he was the life of the party!

    *snif* I lurved that little guy…

    Nov 10, 2008 at 4:22 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #40   MW

    My beta has a ten gallon tank with mirrored sides all to himself and gets fed on a daily basis. All betas should be treated this well. I mean, shit…do you see how poorly they live before you buy them?!

    Nov 10, 2008 at 4:36 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #40.1   Wade bang

      Mirrored sides? Really?

      Isn’t your betta constantly attacking his reflection?

      Nov 10, 2008 at 5:01 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #40.2   MW

      Betas love mirrors. Since they mostly live alone, it makes them feel like they have company. =)
      He doesn’t attack so much as swim up and down admiring himself.

      Nov 11, 2008 at 5:00 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #40.3   Canthz_B bang

      I put a mirror above my Betta’s tank.
      What can I say, she was a freak! ;-)

      Nov 11, 2008 at 5:09 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #41   Sam

    He really does need a bigger tank and oxygen – poor guy! There is a lot of information out there and with a little research you can give him a much, much happier and healthier life.

    Nov 10, 2008 at 7:43 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #42   unfortunate names blog

    Why does a fish have better handwriting than me?

    Nov 10, 2008 at 9:00 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #43   EIT

    No point in buying these to ‘rescue’ them from their cramped containers at the pet store. All that does is foster demand. If you think this is cruel, just stop buying them. What doesn’t sell obviously won’t be re-stocked.

    As for being “perfectly happy living in a small ornate bowl”, is that a euphemism for ‘not dead yet’? Doubt the fish is as “happy” as he would be living and mating in his native environment.

    Nov 11, 2008 at 10:55 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #43.1   Betta Saviour

      Wow. What a fitting place to put such an aggressive note!!!!!!

      My turn! My turn! I want a turn being passive aggressive too! Here goes:

      You have forever changed my point of view on purchasing pets and the value of taking medication as directed.

      It doesn’t sound like living and mating in YOUR native environment makes YOU very happy. Therapy can be a great outlet for the anger and bitterness you feel about things like people purchasing and taking care of pets.

      Just feed yourself to the cat!

      There you go. PAN at it’s finest. It’s a proud day in my life. I got the passive, I got the aggressive, I got all caps and even the excessive exclamation points!!!!! Oh, forgot the perfectly PAN emoticon!

      >:)~

      Nov 11, 2008 at 3:48 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #43.2   Canthz_B bang

      EIT is mating?! 8-O

      Saints preserve us!

      Nov 11, 2008 at 3:57 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #44   Kelly

    That’s awesome, the first thing I noticed was Lamb as well. Man I love Christopher Moore.

    Nov 11, 2008 at 11:07 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #45   300baud

    So little appreciation of what a twit she is, she posts the evidence for all to see.

    Jan 7, 2009 at 4:32 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     

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