The silverware segregationist

November 13th, 2008 · 166 comments

I’d say this whiteboard notice — from a student at Northwestern University in Evanston, illinois — is neck-and-neck with this for “most unnecessary and inappropriate analogy ever.”

Ever notice how, in Plex, the Asians are in one hall, the Latinos in another, and the black in another still? The silverware's like that too. The knives + spoons don't want to live together.

‘Plex, by the way, refers to (in the words of our anonymous submitter, the note’s recipient) a Northwestern residence hall, Foster Walker Complex, “that’s full of disinterested seniors and minorities.”

(Sigh)

Change is on the way?

related: Just be glad you don’t know what’s in the coffee

FILED UNDER: a little insensitive · Chicago · college life · Illinois · roommates · whiteboard


166 responses so far ↓

  • #1   zchamu

    Dirty greasy spoons. Probably here illegally.

    Nov 13, 2008 at 12:07 pm   rating: 94  small thumbs up

    • #1.1   Frankie bang

      They migrated over on the gravy boat from china.

      Nov 13, 2008 at 12:39 pm   rating: 57  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.2   JoelWhy

      Who knew Lou Dobbs went to Northwestern…

      Nov 13, 2008 at 12:45 pm   rating: 11  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.3   snee bang

      shh! don’t say that too loud. they’ll cutlery you as soon as look at you!

      a spoon like that, he killed my brother!

      Nov 13, 2008 at 1:46 pm   rating: 20  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.4   unfortunate names blog

      Maybe only the silverware has the courage to fight segregation in “the plex” Fight on!
      Oh, and the melting pot stew i ate with that silverware was FUCKING DELICIOUS!

      Nov 13, 2008 at 4:01 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #2   cw

    Well, it was a “white” board.

    Nov 13, 2008 at 12:08 pm   rating: 48  small thumbs up

    • #2.1   Grey

      Hanging out on a white wall. The black marker must be upset to be involved.

      Nov 13, 2008 at 1:46 pm   rating: 17  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.2   ohREALLYfool

      Nah, its the token black marker

      Nov 13, 2008 at 5:47 pm   rating: 36  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #3   Canthz_B bang

    You’d think by now the minority students would rate dorm rooms and not be forced to stay in the halls! :-P

    Nov 13, 2008 at 12:11 pm   rating: 9  small thumbs up

    • #3.1   RunBarbara bang

      they’d be lucky to get the halls, in my day the coloreds had to sleep outside with the livestock.

      Nov 13, 2008 at 12:14 pm   rating: 11  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.2   Canthz_B bang

      That’s why I refuse to wear Musk!!

      Nov 13, 2008 at 12:16 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.3   RunBarbara bang

      its also why i stopped eating chicken.

      Nov 13, 2008 at 12:20 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #4   RunBarbara bang

    I like that “the blacks” is the only one NOT in capital letters. probably because black people cant read* and dont know the difference.

    *note: unless its a menu board at roscoe’s chicken and waffles, then they can point and haggle

    Nov 13, 2008 at 12:12 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

    • #4.1   Canthz_B bang

      We lost our capital letter when Obama won…no more “special treatment”. Soon we’ll be Negroes again.

      Nov 13, 2008 at 12:14 pm   rating: 34  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.2   MW

      Since when do you capitalize “blacks?”

      Nov 13, 2008 at 12:41 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.3   Schuyler Hauser bang

      There are no menu boards at any Roscoe’s I’ve ever been to. Besides, I have my order memorized: Sir Michael and a Sunrise.

      Nov 13, 2008 at 1:21 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.4   Frankie bang

      Come again?

      *snickers*
      “come… again.”

      Nov 13, 2008 at 1:33 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.5   juicy j

      didn’t you hear lindsey lohan on tv the other day, we’re using “colored” now.

      it’s an ever repeating rotation.

      african american-black-negro-colored-african american-black-negro….

      you get the picture right?

      Nov 13, 2008 at 2:54 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.6   claw71 bang

      What about “boy”?

      Nov 13, 2008 at 4:56 pm   rating: 9  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.7   Mishee bang

      claw – My grandfather used that one, my mother uses it, and I use it…

      It never went out of style.

      Nov 13, 2008 at 5:03 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.8   Dina

      Yay, Los Angelenos!

      ::now wants chicken/maple syrup combo::

      Nov 13, 2008 at 7:00 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.9   juicy j

      “boy” went out of style with ” honkie”, come on Claw stay up on the times …sheeeesh!

      Nov 13, 2008 at 7:49 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.10   Canthz_B bang

      “Since when do you capitalize “blacks”?”

      b (1)often capitalized: of or relating to any of various population groups having dark pigmentation of the skin.

      m-w.com

      I capitalize it when referring to rather than describing the group. I view it as a proper noun when used that way. Like “Caucasian” is capitalized when referring to: of, constituting, or characteristic of a race of humankind native to Europe, North Africa, and southwest Asia and classified according to physical features —used especially in referring to persons of European descent having usually light skin pigmentation.

      FTR, I say this without attitude, just a FYI to answer the question posed. Please, no shit-storm. :-)

      Nov 14, 2008 at 2:13 am   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.11   Woman on the Verge bang

      My mother still uses ‘boy’. Yup, she describes the 60 year old man who helps out with her yard work “that black boy”. Political incorrectness abounds in small town America.

      Nov 14, 2008 at 7:58 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.12   Jahzzie

      “Porch Monkey 4 Life!!”
      ‘It’s ok, I’m taking it back!’
      Randall Graves
      Clerks II

      Nov 14, 2008 at 5:30 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #5   Canthz_B bang

    So, the Latinos would be the knives, right?

    Nov 13, 2008 at 12:15 pm   rating: 9  small thumbs up

    • #5.1   RunBarbara bang

      i see no mention of Jews. if Latinos are knives, jews are spoons since those greedy bastards will take whatever they can scoop up.

      Nov 13, 2008 at 12:17 pm   rating: 13  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.2   Frankie bang

      If my silverware is going to start forming gangs then I’m putting a lock on the kitchen drawer at night. I’d hate to wake up in the morning and have to Magic Erase graffiti off of the cabinets.

      Nov 13, 2008 at 12:19 pm   rating: 27  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.3   Mishee bang

      The “blacks” are definitely the forks.

      They fork alot.

      Nov 13, 2008 at 12:19 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.4   Schuyler Hauser bang

      “Once you go fork, you’ll never…”

      Eat pork?
      Use torque?
      Listen to Bjork?

      Nov 13, 2008 at 1:24 pm   rating: 21  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.5   olivia

      I don’t see where Asians fit into silverware, considering their eating utensils are made of wood.

      Nov 13, 2008 at 5:11 pm   rating: 12  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.6   Ensaladamista

      But who is the serrated bread knife? Oh sure, its big and long, but does that mean it cant have any company? its lonely, dammit. Oh, dont get me started on those bastard steak knives, ” Look at us, we have our own holder….” they are like those strange triplet sisters who live on the corner and never have to talk but know what each other think.

      Nov 13, 2008 at 9:46 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.7   Clandestine

      Olivia- I think the Asians are those super cool long soup spoons with pictures of dragons on them. Awesome, but dont fit in the little slots well.

      Nov 13, 2008 at 9:53 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.8   AuntyBron

      My silverware is segrigated (well, “silver” is being generous…) but once in a while I find a spoon slumming it with the forks.

      Nov 14, 2008 at 1:14 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #6   Frankie bang

    I don’t generally care what race you are. I’ll probably fork you anyway.

    Nov 13, 2008 at 12:16 pm   rating: 27  small thumbs up

    • #6.1   amy d bang

      *singing* I wanna fork you up, all night

      Nov 13, 2008 at 12:23 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.2   Frankie bang

      I forked her so hard she started singing my praises.
      literally.

      Nov 13, 2008 at 2:01 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.3   Anonymous me

      I used to fork my wife every night – but now we just spoon.

      Nov 13, 2008 at 3:27 pm   rating: 50  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.4   Ensaladamista

      Forks, my favorite Valen-tine.

      Too obsure?

      Nov 13, 2008 at 9:48 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.5   Nate

      yeah

      Nov 15, 2008 at 11:49 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #7   J

    Through no fault of my own (I have friends! I’m not disinterested!) I ended up living in the Plex my sophomore year (nearly 20 years ago). It’s sad to see, but some things never change.

    Nov 13, 2008 at 12:17 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #7.1   Ensaladamista

      20 years ago?? see, you are senior!

      Nov 13, 2008 at 9:49 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.2   exiled in chicago

      I lived in the Plex for two years. But that was only because I was an antisocial whore who liked to share beds, not rooms.

      One thing great thing about Northwestern: At least our racists have spectacular grammar and spelling.

      Nov 19, 2008 at 4:43 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #8   amy d bang

    The forks, however, will mix with anything. Everytime I turn my back they are forking around.

    Nov 13, 2008 at 12:18 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #8.1   RunBarbara bang

      i’ll fork your knife until it rusts, then we can spoon.

      Nov 13, 2008 at 12:19 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.2   Frankie bang

      We forks are whores.

      Nov 13, 2008 at 12:20 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.3   bob

      It’s not the forks you have worry about… it was the dish who ran away with the spoon.

      Nov 13, 2008 at 2:51 pm   rating: 13  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.4   AuntyBron

      The slut!

      Nov 14, 2008 at 1:16 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.5   Canthz_B bang

      LOL, Aunty, that’s why they call her a real “dish”! ;-)

      Ohh, that’s an old one! *palms forehead*

      Nov 14, 2008 at 2:26 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #9   Sheepish bang

    I once put my silverware away and left a spoon with the forks and the next time I opened the drawer there was a riot and the knives were stealing all the condiment packets while the spoons and the forks were burning each others’ homes.

    Nov 13, 2008 at 12:18 pm   rating: 20  small thumbs up

    • #9.1   snee bang

      it’s tine we all got along.

      Nov 13, 2008 at 1:51 pm   rating: 24  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #10   fantasy bang

    Where in the hell do the sporks fit?

    Nov 13, 2008 at 12:20 pm   rating: 14  small thumbs up

    • #10.1   Goldie

      They don’t. The sporks are deeply conflicted about their true identity. They sit in their drawer all day, cutting themselves with plastic knives.

      Nov 13, 2008 at 12:24 pm   rating: 31  small thumbs up

       
    • #10.2   RunBarbara bang

      there is no room for mixed functionality. im a cutlery purist. dont make me put a burning soup spoon on your lawn, i will do it, so help me….

      Nov 13, 2008 at 12:24 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #10.3   amy d bang

      They are the product of interracial relationships, fan.

      Nov 13, 2008 at 12:24 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #10.4   Anthony

      Obama is referred to as our first black president, not our 44th white president. So if you’re half this, half that, you generally end up being identified with just one of those groups.

      As such, I believe the spork, with its generally rounded shape and stubby tongs, would be cast out by its forky brethren and would most likely end up spooning thank you terry.

      Nov 13, 2008 at 12:28 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
    • #10.5   Dare

      Man you’re in trouble. You just brought a spoon to a spork fight!

      Nov 13, 2008 at 12:42 pm   rating: 28  small thumbs up

       
    • #10.6   secondsout bang

      All this talk about keeping forks and spoons apart is ridiculous. Mother Goose told us years ago that the fork eloped with the spoon. Sporks are the mutated offspring, but the fork and spoon love them like any child.

      Nov 13, 2008 at 12:50 pm   rating: 12  small thumbs up

       
    • #10.7   Canthz_B bang

      I thought the dish ran away with the spoon…I guess the fork/spoon marriage ended badly. :-(

      Nov 13, 2008 at 1:10 pm   rating: 10  small thumbs up

       
    • #10.8   mopey

      A spork is a runcible spoon and it’s living a lovely life in the land where the bong tree grows. The owl is even more of a pussycat than, well, pussycat. All implements serve their own purposes, and at night, after all the dancing, they sleep in the same drawer. It’s beautiful, really.

      Nov 13, 2008 at 1:25 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #10.9   snee bang

      i have a sporf–spoon, fork, AND serrated edge knife-like part.

      yeah, that’s right.

      Nov 13, 2008 at 1:33 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #10.10   Frankie bang

      Found the stoner. Let me introduce you to a few people…

      There’s me.
      There’s Mishee.
      I don’t know who else. Welcome. Grab some carpet, we’re gonna stare at the ceiling fan.

      Nov 13, 2008 at 1:36 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #10.11   Canthz_B bang

      “On the Amazon, the prophylactics prowl On the
      Amazon, the hypodermics howl On
      the Amazon, you’ll hear a scarab scowl
      and sting zodiacs on the wing…”

      –Don McLean

      Nov 13, 2008 at 1:37 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #10.12   Mishee bang

      Frankie, I don’t know what you are talking about!

      I don’t do things like that….

      *narcs??*

      Nov 13, 2008 at 1:56 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #10.13   Frankie bang

      LOL Mishee. We all throw stones and stare at ceiling fans, what are you talking about.
      What did you think I meant?

      weirdo.

      Nov 13, 2008 at 2:00 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #10.14   Mishee bang

      erm..well I could swear you were talking about blazing up a fatty and getting higher than we ever have before and then basing off on nothing and everything while we mechanically eat copious amounts of Cheetos nothing.

      Nov 13, 2008 at 2:10 pm   rating: 9  small thumbs up

       
    • #10.15   Frankie bang

      I like the UPS guy because he’s a drug dealer and he doesn’t even know it.

      Nov 13, 2008 at 2:18 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #10.16   Andy

      I’m pretty sure the spork becomes president.

      Nov 13, 2008 at 2:23 pm   rating: 17  small thumbs up

       
    • #10.17   Magebear

      If they’re a spork, they don’t get to live in the hall, they move into the White House.

      Nov 14, 2008 at 9:11 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #10.18   Jahzzie

      Frankie, I worked for UPS for 3 years and we lovingly refered to ourselves as “The United Pot Smokers” and the “United Pot Shippers”

      Nov 14, 2008 at 5:53 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #11   Goldie

    Strangely, the note doesn’t mention forks. There must be a reason why the note author only has access to spoons and butter knives, in his padded room with no sharp objects.

    Nov 13, 2008 at 12:21 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

     
  • #12   Mishee bang

    I wonder if mixing up the peppermint tea with the other teas would send this kitchen over the edge.

    I mean, “Rodney King” sized unrest.

    Nov 13, 2008 at 12:22 pm   rating: 14  small thumbs up

     
  • #13   secondsout bang

    It’s just like my laundry. I make sure to keep the whites separate from the coloreds. At the very least, it’s separate, but equal.

    Nov 13, 2008 at 12:30 pm   rating: 19  small thumbs up

    • #13.1   fantasy bang

      Whites get washed in HOT water,Darks get washed in COLD.

      Nov 13, 2008 at 12:36 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #13.2   Frankie bang

      Thus making it unequal. The Whites also get bleach whereas the Darks don’t. Also I think it’s taboo to call them Darks now. The PC term is Densely Pigmented Apparel. Whites are still Whites.

      Nov 13, 2008 at 12:51 pm   rating: 24  small thumbs up

       
    • #13.3   Canthz_B bang

      I’m just glad we only have White Sales now! whew!

      Nov 13, 2008 at 1:12 pm   rating: 12  small thumbs up

       
    • #13.4   Holiday Djinn

      There is a new laundry detergent that separates your whites from your coloreds.

      Apar-tide.

      budumching.

      Nov 13, 2008 at 1:23 pm   rating: 56  small thumbs up

       
    • #13.5   Fern

      But I love Black Friday!!

      Nov 17, 2008 at 1:31 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #14   Frankie bang

    I don’t use a silverware divider at my house. My silverware is all integrated.

    Nov 13, 2008 at 12:32 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #14.1   MW

      This makes total sense now. You are my bachelor friend Tommy who likes to open his jumbled silver drawer and proclaim how wonderful it is to be single!

      Nov 13, 2008 at 12:44 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #14.2   PrincessVespa

      Same here, Frankie, but only because my kid can’t seem to put them away sorted. Now I see she is just promoting diversity.

      Then again, no matter how I try to sort my silverware drawer, there is always that one slot that ends up with a jumble of assorted stuff ….. what is that? The circus folk?

      Nov 13, 2008 at 1:06 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #14.3   HS

      “I have a dream…”

      Nov 13, 2008 at 1:22 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #14.4   Frankie bang

      Mine is for almost the same reason PV. My husband can’t seem to figure the system out. I’ve seen him actually grab silverware out of the sink and use it dirty. Boys are dirty.

      I’m also dirty, but in a way that is only for Amy and Mishee.

      Nov 13, 2008 at 1:22 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #14.5   Mishee bang

      wanna spork?

      Nov 13, 2008 at 3:36 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #14.6   Frankie bang

      only if I can stick it in your cheesy fiesta potatoes.

      Nov 13, 2008 at 6:22 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #15   Anthony

    Actually, I was going for the “most unnecessary and inappropriate analogy ever” with the porcupine thing yesterday.

    Thank you Terry.

    Nov 13, 2008 at 12:32 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #15.1   secondsout bang

      Frankie, the truth is, you just don’t use silverware at your house.

      Nov 13, 2008 at 12:47 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #15.2   secondsout bang

      SHIT! How did this end up down here? I meant to add it at 14.1.

      Nesting failure!

      *dons unitard and slinks away in embarassment*

      Nov 13, 2008 at 12:54 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #15.3   MW

      That shit kept happening to me yesterday.

      Nov 13, 2008 at 1:01 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #15.4   Frankie bang

      It’s okay sout. You can make it up to me later behind the condom fern.

      Nov 13, 2008 at 1:23 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #15.5   AuntyBron

      No, Sout, the PAN was rising against your attempt at segregation.

      Nov 14, 2008 at 1:22 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #16   Wade bang

    Is the note writer promoting same spoon marriage?

    Nov 13, 2008 at 12:32 pm   rating: 9  small thumbs up

    • #16.1   Frankie bang

      Wade, if you spoon with me I promise I’ll fork you. Maybe Amy will join us for a little fork on spoon on spoon action.

      Nov 13, 2008 at 12:36 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #16.2   RandyinReno

      The trouble with SFS action is that someone always feels left out.

      Nov 13, 2008 at 1:31 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #16.3   Frankie bang

      Oh my God that’s so true too. Someone is bound to get jealous. My money is on Wade.

      Nov 13, 2008 at 1:38 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #16.4   amy d bang

      What’s that, Frankie? Wade, you say? Is he here?

      Nov 13, 2008 at 1:42 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #16.5   Frankie bang

      We’ll get to him…..

      eventually.

      Nov 13, 2008 at 1:44 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #16.6   MW

      Same spoon marriage is dangerous to the traditional utensil family unit. Before you know it two spoons will be adopting a baby paring knife and raising it to accept all types of eating tools with no regard whatsoever to the traditional spoon/fork union that is so much better for the drawer and by extention the rest of kitchens everywhere. The damage to the traditional utensil family unit will ultimately resort in everyone eating rice with toothpicks and picking the corn out of their teeth with spatulas. Scary!

      Nov 13, 2008 at 1:53 pm   rating: 26  small thumbs up

       
    • #16.7   Mishee bang

      See MW, it is possible to redeem yourself here. We are very forgiving folk.

      Gold star.

      Nov 13, 2008 at 3:38 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #16.8   Frankie bang

      Like we have any standards anyways.

      Nov 13, 2008 at 6:25 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #16.9   RandyinReno

      Of course we have standards. They’re just set very low and, ideally, vulgar.

      Nov 13, 2008 at 9:19 pm   rating: 9  small thumbs up

       
    • #16.10   BarelyKnitTogether

      I think the trouble with SFS action is, if you have a spoon there, why do you need the fork??

      Nov 14, 2008 at 8:08 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #16.11   RandyinReno

      To hold up the legs? To take the pictures?

      Nov 14, 2008 at 1:04 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #17   Dare

    The most beautiful thing about a white board is the fact it is easily erased…

    Nov 13, 2008 at 12:41 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

     
  • #18   biscuit

    Door white boards. Where college students flex their intellectual might.

    Nov 13, 2008 at 12:42 pm   rating: 20  small thumbs up

    • #18.1   Timo bang

      or lack thereof.

      Nov 13, 2008 at 1:26 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #19   Anthony

    Actually, I have to say I like the wise man approach of the writer. It’s got that whole “Let me tell you a story” thing, followed by a “Life is like a box of silverware” conclusion.

    I can see someone’s dad saying this on a fishing trip. “The silverware’s like that, Timmy.” You remember a lesson like that for the rest of your life.

    Nov 13, 2008 at 12:46 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

     
  • #20   You Suck at Craigslist

    Clearly this is an effort to ban inter-cutlery fraternization. We need a constitutional amendment to make this one stick. It’s for the good of the spoons.

    Nov 13, 2008 at 1:16 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #21   robocadaver bang

    poor fork was left out.

    Nov 13, 2008 at 1:20 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #22   snee bang

    forget about knives and spoons. what about the chop sticks? doesn’t anyone care about the chop sticks?!

    utensilists!

    Nov 13, 2008 at 1:21 pm   rating: 14  small thumbs up

    • #22.1   Frankie bang

      Those chopstick represent the races that no one can clearly identify by just looking at them. Poor chopsticks sometimes get confused as Terrorists.

      Nov 13, 2008 at 1:25 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #22.2   robocadaver bang

      three chopstick terrorists was executed in Indonesia a few days ago.

      Nov 13, 2008 at 1:32 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #22.3   snee bang

      three? don’t they usually operate in pairs?

      OMG! one is still on the loose!!!!

      Nov 13, 2008 at 1:36 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #22.4   robocadaver bang

      yes… yes it is.
      keep your eyes on. he may interrupt the silverware case

      Nov 13, 2008 at 1:42 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #22.5   GhostWriter bang

      The forks, knives, spoons and chopsticks seem different until you flip them over to find out they were all made in China.

      Nov 13, 2008 at 3:04 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #22.6   GhostWriter bang

      The forks, knives, spoons and chopsticks held a contest to see who was the strongest.

      The Knife started, “Can any of you cut a raw steak in half? I am the strongest!”

      The Fork countered, “Yes, but you are powerless to pick up spaghetti noodles. I can roll up a full pound. I am the strongest!

      The wise Spoon replied, “Each of you have brutish force, and yet a spoonful of salt, or cinnamon, or chili powder will make your so-called feats of strength worthless. I am the strongest.”

      All was quiet, until the chopsticks shouted, “I can lift Won Ton!”

      Nov 13, 2008 at 3:14 pm   rating: 41  small thumbs up

       
    • #22.7   BarelyKnitTogether

      My daughter is responsible for putting away the dishes, and most of my spoons are missing. Is this genocide? Ethnic cleansing? Do I need to – gasp – hang her??

      Nov 14, 2008 at 8:10 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #23   Canthz_B bang

    I can just picture the guy who wrote this, putting his bong down as he’s struck by this brilliant insight, streaking to the white board to enlighten his fellow students before his epiphany fades from memory, as drug-induced profundity so often does.

    Nov 13, 2008 at 1:26 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

    • #23.1   Frankie bang

      If that’s the case then it sounds like the Mishee wrote this note.

      Nov 13, 2008 at 1:30 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #23.2   Mishee bang

      Like I give a shit about the knives and spoons!

      All of the good munchies are finger foods!

      –not that I would know or anything…

      Nov 13, 2008 at 3:33 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #23.3   Frankie bang

      Potato chips dipped in mashed potatoes does not a finger food make Mishee.

      Nov 13, 2008 at 6:27 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #23.4   MoxieHart

      That’s a lot of potato. Potato genocide.

      Nov 13, 2008 at 7:26 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #23.5   BarelyKnitTogether

      But notice the correct use of commas, the proper apostrophe placement…capitalization issues aside, it gave me some tiny amount of hope for the future, stoned or not.

      Nov 14, 2008 at 8:13 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #24   se

    The spoons and the knives were forking delicious

    Nov 13, 2008 at 1:49 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

    • #24.1   amy d bang

      A gang bang? I wish I was that delicious item that is getting all the forking.

      Nov 13, 2008 at 1:54 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #24.2   Frankie bang

      You are delicious.

      Nov 13, 2008 at 2:05 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #25   aaa

    *sigh* I don’t even have anything funny to say. Going to a Jesuit university that wants us to be good humans and kiss everyone’s ass for being different has sucked all the non-PC funny out of me. ;_;

    Nov 13, 2008 at 2:52 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #25.1   Ana

      Good, i though i was the only one who does not have a funny/witty comment to post because the nuns taught me to be always nice . Anyways, i really enjoy lurking around here so thanks everyone.

      Nov 13, 2008 at 7:04 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #26   HairySwede

    separate but equal my ass. I’ll take a fine looking dinner knife over a spoon any day.

    Nov 13, 2008 at 3:03 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #27   erin

    more like most hilarious analogy ever … !

    Nov 13, 2008 at 3:04 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #28   GhostWriter bang

    It’s not just that way in Plex. I’ve noticed it in House of the Dead, too.

    Nov 13, 2008 at 3:16 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #29   Bunnee

    It’s all good and fine until fork accidentally falls into the garbage disposal. With a loud clank, the fork is mutilated forever. He would gladly mingle with the spoons and knives, but they can’t stand to look at him, with his tines all twisted and nicked up. Poor fork….

    Nov 13, 2008 at 3:27 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #30   Sheepish bang

    Do not try and bend the spoon. That’s impossible. Instead… only try to realize the truth.
    What truth?
    There is no spoon.
    There is no spoon?
    Then you’ll see, that it is not the spoon that bends, it is only yourself.

    *Woha*

    A déjà vu is usually a glitch in the Matrix. It happens when they change something.

    Nov 13, 2008 at 4:09 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #31   Lurker

    Y’know, it’d be a sad day if I opened up the silverware drawer and had trouble telling which were the spoons and which were the forks because they weren’t properly sorted. Round one = spoon. Tined one = fork. Stabby-stabby one – knife.

    Nov 13, 2008 at 4:23 pm   rating: 11  small thumbs up

     
  • #32   claw71 bang

    If you let the blacks over at Plex find out that you have silverware in your dorm you won’t have to worry about mixed utensils anymore.

    Nov 13, 2008 at 4:46 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #32.1   Mishee bang

      well, you can always buy them back next week at the flea market.

      Nov 13, 2008 at 4:53 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #32.2   Frankie bang

      Only if you beat the latinos to it.

      Nov 13, 2008 at 6:29 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #33   john

    I lived in plex! It was totally like that!

    Nov 13, 2008 at 5:57 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #33.1   anglophile bang

      It’s how I remember it too. I myself was a Bobb-McCulloch resident. Closer to the action.

      Nov 13, 2008 at 9:02 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #34   Helena

    I don’t mean to be picky, but I’m pretty sure that the person who posted this meant *un* interested, not disinterested.

    Nov 13, 2008 at 6:17 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #34.1   anglophile bang

      Own your pickiness, Helena! Own it! :)

      Nov 14, 2008 at 5:02 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #35   Jayse

    Weird, I live in plex now…I feel the need to roam the halls looking for this board haha

    and the minorities thing is true. asians everywhere.

    Nov 13, 2008 at 7:13 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #36   Canaidin Deadhead

    anyone else notice that we’re only allowed to see a small portion of the whiteboard? What are they hiding from us? I SMELL A COVER-UP HERE!….oops, my mistake…it’s just some old socks on the heater

    Nov 13, 2008 at 8:53 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #37   Canaidian Deadhead

    and before anyone says anything, yeah, yeah, I misspelt Canadian….well, that’s enough tequila & tabasco for one night….hic

    Nov 13, 2008 at 8:55 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #38   hydromjstik

    I see you’ve played knife-y spoon-y before

    Nov 14, 2008 at 12:45 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #38.1   Mishee bang

      I was sitting here waiting… and waiting… and waiting for an Izzard reference.

      Well done my good sir! (or madam!)

      Nov 14, 2008 at 12:05 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #38.2   Jahzzie

      We’re talking about utensil ethnic cleansing, and you expect me to talk about Hitler! But he was a Nazi shithead! Well done indeed!
      Wow, his calendar must be busy indeed!
      DeathDeathDeathDeathDeath, Lunch, Deathdeathdeathdeath, Afternoon Tea, deathdeathdeath, Quick Shower~….

      Happy Mish?

      Nov 14, 2008 at 6:01 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #39   fantasy bang

    What!!

    The Asians, Latinos and Blacks are in

    the halls, where are the Whites in the rooms or

    attending Community College?

    Nov 14, 2008 at 1:56 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #39.1   se

      The whites are in the field… turnabout, you know

      Nov 14, 2008 at 3:16 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #40   Canthz_B bang

    It’s only a matter of time before the cooking utensils file suit to be able to share a drawer with the eating utensils.
    Then the eating utensils will see they have fewer differences than things in common.

    Nov 14, 2008 at 2:21 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #41   Troy McClure bang

    What was Jon Stewart’s inappropriate analogy? Australia is out of the hulu-loop. :(

    Nov 14, 2008 at 3:06 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #42   what

    Kerry, can’t you save things like this for your spinoff site, funnynotespeoplesendme.com? Focus on passive-aggressive. Not just funny signs and notes.

    Nov 14, 2008 at 7:52 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #42.1   Frankie bang

      She doesn’t have to post anything at all if she doesn’t want to.

      I’m just saying. I wouldn’t want to anger the PAN goddess. But that is just teh me. Plus she’s like super hawt.

      Nov 14, 2008 at 12:19 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #43   Woman on the Verge bang

    Ever since my kids started emptying the dishwasher (under duress and dire threats of bodily harm) I find the teaspoons and soupspoons intermingling. This morning I found a litter of those little espresso spoons in the drawer.

    Nov 14, 2008 at 8:10 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #44   Woman on the Verge bang

    My dorm room whiteboard was much more highbrow. We had the top 50 ways to use pantiliners: makeshift hair band; bikini waxer; knee pads; etc.

    Nov 14, 2008 at 8:11 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #45   Cheza

    Holy racists, Batman!

    Nov 14, 2008 at 12:47 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #46   Truth

    Being from Northwestern, I can safely attest that this comment about Plex is 100% true. The segregation and part about “disinterested minorities” is completely true. In fact, the architect who designed plex also designed prisons in the Chicago area, so it really all make sense if you think about it.

    Nov 14, 2008 at 11:34 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #47   K.R.

    *sigh*

    This will be the last day I visit this site. Humor, I like. Racism…not so much.

    Nov 17, 2008 at 9:43 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #47.1   Canthz_B bang

      Yeah, you’re way too good for this site.
      I’ll bet even your shit smells like fucking rose pedals!

      Nov 17, 2008 at 9:48 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #47.2   Canthz_B bang

      Or even like rose petals!!

      Nov 17, 2008 at 10:01 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #48   S

    So so true, and actually, very close to a perfect analogy given how Plex is organized. I was in Willard, thank goodness.

    Nov 18, 2008 at 5:39 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #49   Cool Real Cool

    Willard sucks!

    Nov 19, 2008 at 9:58 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #50   the pointed politics of spoon ownership

    [...] related post: the silverware segregationist [...]

    Dec 13, 2008 at 5:00 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #51   Jim

    ohhh the plex. some things never change?

    Jan 7, 2009 at 8:21 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #52   j-school today: from a dying medium to a dead horse

    [...] note — spotted by erik in a breakroom at northwestern’s medill school of journalism — takes me back to my days as a bright-eyed young reporter [...]

    Jun 4, 2009 at 12:19 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #53   911? I’m calling to report a serious disturbance of my beauty sleep. | PassiveAggressiveNotes.com

    [...] site has seen it’s share of tasteless notes, but…really? The mind [...]

    Jun 24, 2010 at 7:07 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     

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