Today’s Facebook Friday submission comes from an anonymous onlooker in College Park, <aryland. (read from the bottom up.)
related: I challenge you to an emoticon-off!
FILED UNDER: ex drama · Facebook · spelling and grammar police
Does anyone know where my underwear is? Seriously.
Nov 14, 2008 at 2:30 pm rating: 97
I found your underwear! You left them in my bed along with your dignity and self respect. You can have the underwear back. But not the rest.
Nov 14, 2008 at 3:44 pm rating: 42
unfortunate names blog
Note to Amanda, if you are gonna cheat, go commando.
Nov 14, 2008 at 6:27 pm rating: 22
I love the setting of the relationship status *after* the fact just to turn it back off. Passive aggressive gold, Nick. Gold.
Nov 14, 2008 at 2:32 pm rating: 100
As awesomely cool and passive aggressive that would be, alas it is merely Facebook procedure; first you must cancel a relationship with a named person (to merely become listed as in a relationship with no-one in particular), and *then* you can set your relationship status as ‘single’.
Guess how I know this piece of pedantry…
Nov 14, 2008 at 5:27 pm rating: 17
I think it was a passive-aggressive tactic on Amanda’s part so she could get with a guy who can spell.
Nov 14, 2008 at 2:34 pm rating: 57
Not only can he not spell, he also changed the puncuation at the end, obviously to convey his mood. He went from “OMG I caught her!” to “I hate myself.” In the span of five minutes. Impressive.
Probably bipolar too.
Dec 3, 2008 at 12:05 pm rating: 4
Amanda! I herd that your underwear is in the glovebox of Nick’s car. You must have left them there accedentally when he gave you a ride home from the laundrymat.
Nov 14, 2008 at 2:34 pm rating: 2
Not Miss Kitty. Oh wait …she’s dead.
I hate Facebook Fridays.
Nov 14, 2008 at 2:36 pm rating: 2
All hail the UGH
Nov 14, 2008 at 4:47 pm rating: 0
Apparently the exclamation point was too strong.
Nov 14, 2008 at 2:36 pm rating: 12
I thought the same when I read it but you beat me to it.
Nov 14, 2008 at 3:30 pm rating: 0
3 min is a short relationship, Nick. Work on your stamina, Dude.
Nov 14, 2008 at 2:38 pm rating: 29
And you last a whole lot longer?
Nov 14, 2008 at 3:32 pm rating: 5
Nearly twice that, se!
Nov 14, 2008 at 4:21 pm rating: 9
i laughed until i cried
Nov 14, 2008 at 2:38 pm rating: 1
“i herd a guy she goes where is my underwear” Is it a transsexual?
Nov 14, 2008 at 2:39 pm rating: 15
Note to Amanda:
Take you iPhone out of your back pocket before you do the bump and grind.
That re-dial button is a bitch.
Nov 14, 2008 at 2:39 pm rating: 18
forget her underwear, where was her PHONE that she could accidentally dial Nick? Perhaps set to vibrate?
Nov 14, 2008 at 2:40 pm rating: 34
Facebook Friday reminds me of when RunBarbara makes me get on all fours and make puppy noises.
If I am lucky she will take me out back to piddle.
I’m not usually lucky.
Nov 14, 2008 at 2:46 pm rating: 3
Does she then take the rolled-up newspaper to you?
Nov 14, 2008 at 3:12 pm rating: 0
That’s one of her favorite parts.
Nov 15, 2008 at 7:46 am rating: 1
I herd cows!
Nov 14, 2008 at 2:56 pm rating: 19
Well, she did say that 2 months was too long. He had fair warning that she was gonna have to get a little to tide her over.
Nov 14, 2008 at 2:57 pm rating: 30
reminds me of a a song… Sheryl Crow & Kid Rock duet … at one point she sings, “I ain’t heard from you in 3 damn nights… I put your picture away…”
My spouse and I often wonder – so after 3 damn nights you’re no longer a couple? So really, Amanda held out phenomenally long by Kid Rock/Sheryl Crow standards….
Nov 17, 2008 at 1:30 pm rating: 1
Two months is too long, but Trevor isn’t!!
I love you,
Nov 14, 2008 at 3:02 pm rating: 50
……. four years ago I wrote this suicide note and I am still alive….. groan
Nov 14, 2008 at 3:03 pm rating: 7
That add is just depressing. Someone couldn’t go through with it, and now they’re even sadder.
Nov 14, 2008 at 4:15 pm rating: 1
“Four years ago I wrote this suicide note. I couldn’t go through with it. Since then I’ve been bumped 7 times, contracted herpes from the unitard, my dog died, and I’m still a postal worker. Now my note is all over the internet. Please shoot me. Please.”
Nov 14, 2008 at 4:41 pm rating: 12
I think it is an advertisement to save suicide because clearly this person should be culled from the herd.
Nov 14, 2008 at 4:50 pm rating: 3
Woman on the Verge
Oh, I thought it was for euthanasia! I mean, really, if they need help that badly…
Nov 14, 2008 at 7:10 pm rating: 5
It’s days like this that I feel old, and at the same time glad Facebook didn’t exist when I was young and totally immature about relationships.
Nick’s little piece of outburst is nothing compared to what I’d have cooked up.
However, mine would probably have been done in English.
Nov 14, 2008 at 3:04 pm rating: 25
Facebook is indeed a bizarre world that, sadly, being young and stupid, I am completely wrapped up in. However, I keep my posted relationship as a sham marriage to my best friend.
As you can see from the post, his “friends” can actually comment on his shattered relationship. I personally don’t give two shits what my Physics lab partner has to say about my girlfriend’s cheatin’ ways.
I do everyone a favor and keep my Dyke Drama off the interwebs.
Nov 14, 2008 at 11:34 pm rating: 3
If you don’t understand FB, this pretty much covers it.
Nov 14, 2008 at 11:46 pm rating: 0
…..oops, wrong note!
Nov 14, 2008 at 3:04 pm rating: 0
Amanda was simply confronting the frat boys who pulled the pantie raid in her dorm.
Campus security is right next to Nick on her speed-dial.
Team don’t dump your pussy unless you have pictures!
Nov 14, 2008 at 3:08 pm rating: 7
Nick did over-react.
Team Nick is a whiny putz.
Nov 14, 2008 at 3:23 pm rating: 4
Yeah, but Amanda’s an asspanda for dropping her Victoria’s Secrets. Seems to me if she waited 2 months she could wait a little longer.
But maybe she’s BEEN boffing this dude all along and that’s WHY it’s been two months.
Team Nick’s Better Off Without Her Cheatin’ Arse
Nov 15, 2008 at 2:18 pm rating: 3
That’s one way to break up.
Nov 14, 2008 at 3:09 pm rating: 0
Of course a PAN fan would have sent a breakup haiku
your butt rang me to
say you are a cheating whore
my Facebook dumps you
Nov 14, 2008 at 4:24 pm rating: 14
Look, it is Hall Monitor 2.0. (or was Hall Monitor English Fail 2.0? I get our trolls confused sometimes) Oddly enough, I saw Hall Monitor pimp his blog out in the comments of another blog I read. It is kinda weird to see the same person on different parts of the internet. Like they’re stalking you!
Nov 14, 2008 at 5:10 pm rating: 2
Or you’re stalking them…
Nov 15, 2008 at 1:31 am rating: 1
That’s a funny site!
Be nice guys. That’s not his blog which would normally be linked to his name. I like learning about new and funny sites.
Nov 15, 2008 at 7:49 am rating: 4
One thing I love about Facebook is its potential for passive-aggressiveness.
More, more, more!
Nov 14, 2008 at 3:18 pm rating: 1
Uhmmmm….4:43 a.m., Nick is listed as in a relationship. 4:46 a.m., Nick is single. These two were dating for 3 minutes?! Sorry, Nick, but that wasn’t a relationship, and she wasn’t cheating on you. That was a hooker, and she was “dating” the next John!
Nov 14, 2008 at 3:22 pm rating: 9
“GUESS WHO CHEATED ON ME”… Does that mean there are other options? Wouldn’t that make you a cheater, too, Nick?
Nov 14, 2008 at 3:30 pm rating: 1
Can you herd one guy? Don’t you need a whole flock of them, like Jesus had?
Nov 14, 2008 at 3:31 pm rating: 9
Umm, Canthz I am pretty sure that Jesus did not herd them, per say, but led them.
Nov 14, 2008 at 3:35 pm rating: 1
Then he was a piss-poor shepherd (a person who herds and tends) because you cannot lead a flock that you can’t keep herded together.
Nov 14, 2008 at 3:40 pm rating: 7
Oh my! You totally showed me!
Nov 14, 2008 at 3:47 pm rating: 2
You can herd one guy if and only if he has hidden your girlfriend’s underwear.
Nov 14, 2008 at 3:49 pm rating: 3
how about if he has eaten your girlfriends underwear?
Nov 14, 2008 at 3:56 pm rating: 1
Well, that would render them missing. Aka hidden.
Nov 14, 2008 at 3:58 pm rating: 2
“I am pretty sure that Jesus did not herd them, per say, but led them.”
It’s all perspective. See, if you are superstitious I’m sure you would like to think of yourself as being a follower of a leader. The rest of us on the other hand see you as sheep. Or sheeple even.
Nov 14, 2008 at 4:32 pm rating: 7
Grey, it is a good thing I am not superstitous then isn’t it.
Nov 14, 2008 at 4:37 pm rating: 0
Amanda would make a bad shepherd as well. She can’t even keep her two calves together!
Nov 14, 2008 at 5:13 pm rating: 32
Yew can’t resist her butt-ox
Nov 14, 2008 at 5:54 pm rating: 2
Hmm, Hmm, Hmm.
Nov 14, 2008 at 6:27 pm rating: 1
She can’t keep her calves together because her sense of fidelity is on the lamb.
Nov 14, 2008 at 6:37 pm rating: 14
“college, park maryland”?
Nice punctuating there.
Nov 14, 2008 at 3:33 pm rating: 0
CB, your comment (24.2) caused me to have an Epiphany. Televangelists are so screwed up because they (the shepherds) are trying to lead their flocks, not herd them!
Nov 15, 2008 at 1:35 am rating: 1
My guess is she was banging someone who knows how to use punctuation.
there’s nothing like a good, hard exclamation point! yeah, baby! give it to me!!!!!
Nov 14, 2008 at 5:30 pm rating: 12
“GUESS WHO’S CHEATING ON ME AMANDA” makes him sound like a Cockney whose sister is being cuckolded.
“Cor blimey, mates, me Amanda’s ‘usband’s shaggin’ anuvver bird!”
Nov 14, 2008 at 3:43 pm rating: 18
she ‘erd ‘em at it on the old dog ‘n’ bone
Nov 16, 2008 at 1:37 pm rating: 2
Now, what’s the rhyming slang for Nick?
Nov 16, 2008 at 2:03 pm rating: 2
They should totally make up. Sluts and the illiterate belong together.
Nov 14, 2008 at 3:46 pm rating: 9
Yeah, but then they reproduce and you end up with illiterate sluts.
Nov 15, 2008 at 6:28 am rating: 8
and how is that bad?
Nov 17, 2008 at 6:31 pm rating: 0
I got a dollar says Amanda did it on purpose. There are no accidents.
Nov 14, 2008 at 4:01 pm rating: 7
I’ll see your dollar and raise you fifty cents that not only did she do it on purpose it was part of a game she and the panty thief were playing
Nov 14, 2008 at 4:05 pm rating: 7
I’m in. Where’s the flop?
Nov 15, 2008 at 7:55 am rating: 0
Look at what a little bitch Nick is. His facebook page looks like he had his 12 year-old sister put it together for him. What a twink….I can’t blame Amanda for cheating. In fact, I have more respect for her because she did.
Nov 14, 2008 at 4:07 pm rating: 3
maybe Amanda is his 12 y/o sister?
Nov 14, 2008 at 5:52 pm rating: 0
That only works if Nick is Claw. He’d totally bang his 12 year old sister.
Nov 15, 2008 at 10:01 am rating: 2
And the code word was, “Where are my underwear? Oh shit.”
This went the wrong place, and now I need to kill myself.
Nov 14, 2008 at 4:08 pm rating: 0
Those underwear were fucking delicious!
Nov 14, 2008 at 4:25 pm rating: 4
Love isn’t supposed to herd.
Nov 14, 2008 at 4:38 pm rating: 8
Love herds, ooh ooh love herds…
ear bug, anyone?
Nov 14, 2008 at 4:49 pm rating: 4
thanks, se. don’t mind if i do. no, wait! AAAAAAAAAAAAH!
oh whoa whoa love herds!
Nov 14, 2008 at 5:28 pm rating: 2
Jesus the shepherd of Nazareth, per se
Nov 14, 2008 at 9:59 pm rating: 2
for correctly spelling per se
Nov 15, 2008 at 9:47 am rating: 1
why are you taking my name in vain?
Nov 15, 2008 at 11:28 am rating: 1
i thought you liked it when someone screamed your name
Nov 16, 2008 at 10:44 am rating: 0
It’s interesting that Nick would correct the spelling of “accidentally” and not “heard.”
Nov 14, 2008 at 4:42 pm rating: 0
As Spell-checker smiled a wry little smile.
Nov 14, 2008 at 4:50 pm rating: 9
Team: Give the poor guy a break!
He heard his girlfriend cheating on him, he can be a whiney little bitch if he wants to. Poor guy
P.S.- I’m not THAT Amanda, we have the name in common…not the promiscuity.
Nov 14, 2008 at 4:46 pm rating: 3
Any sympathy he would have deserved disappeared when he decided to broadcast his problems via facebook.
Nov 14, 2008 at 4:48 pm rating: 7
Sorry I am Team Nick is a douche. That facebook just proves it.
Nov 14, 2008 at 4:54 pm rating: 2
Do you know where you can find sympathy in the dictionary?
Between sh**t and syphillis
Nov 14, 2008 at 5:02 pm rating: 2
really? sneegranny always told me i could find sympathy in the dictionary between “shit” and “syphilis”.
what is this “sh**t” you speak of?
Nov 14, 2008 at 5:21 pm rating: 12
oh come onnnn. everyone acts a little irrationally when they’ve just had their heart broken.
Nov 14, 2008 at 4:50 pm rating: 0
I once accidentally called a guy from my cell at midnight.
I was in my car with music blaring at full volume. I had no idea the phone had gone off.
The guy herd Hot Chocolate’s “You Sexy Thing” in its entirety.
Needless to say, our next meeting was interesting. The dude winking at me going, “I got your, ahem, message”, me not having a clue what he meant. He was heartbroken when he realized the call had been an accident, and he was not, in fact, a sexy thing. Not by a long shot.
Moral of my story, maybe it was not Amanda on the phone, but a recording of a popular indie song “Dude, where’s my underwear? Oh shit.” Nick just jumped to conclusions too fast.
Nov 14, 2008 at 5:08 pm rating: 24
i love that song, “dude, where’s my underwear? oh shit!”
it is kinda hard to dance to, though.
Nov 14, 2008 at 5:23 pm rating: 5
unfortunate names blog
I hope amanda gets traclked
Nov 14, 2008 at 7:31 pm rating: 0
Hehe. Maybe she was just listening to the interlude in Outkast’s The Love Below. It even starts with a guy’s voice.
Oh my god where are my panties?
He gon’ think I’m a hoe.
Fuck that I liked it
I was drunk and it was my birthday anyway.
Maybe I should just lay here and let him touch my booty.
Probably not, but “Where are my panties” always makes me laugh.
Nov 14, 2008 at 8:25 pm rating: 5
I desperately want to make a hilarious, ROFLMAO comment and get lots of thumbs up in a bid to bolster my sense of self-worth.
Judging by some of the recent attempts by the so-called ‘I’ve been here since damn nearly the beginning – so na na na!’ crowd, the whole notion of ‘PAN’ is taking on an ugly life of its own in the comments section.
Yeah congratulations. You’ve been here since damn nearly the beginning. Hooray! What a legend!
“You da man!” “No you da man!” “No, no…you da man!” “Nahh, you da man!”
Nov 15, 2008 at 1:42 am rating: 17
i’m da snee.
Nov 15, 2008 at 2:36 am rating: 6
Happily, that boat sailed a few days ago.
No one’s having that conversation this weekend, at least I’m not.
Nov 15, 2008 at 4:36 am rating: 4
Trick E Dick
*I desperately want to make a hilarious, ROFLMAO comment and get lots of thumbs up in a bid to bolster my sense of self-worth.*
Judging by your recent attempt you have a long way to go before you reach hilarious.
You did angry and childish good tho.
Take my advice, resign before it’s too late.
Nov 15, 2008 at 5:22 am rating: 15
The only thing I have to say about that was that I originally read “bolster my sense of self-worth” as “lobster of self-worth”. Perhaps it’s time to look into getting that dyslexia diagnosed.
Nov 15, 2008 at 6:38 am rating: 15
No lobsters deserve any sense of self-worth.
I dated a lobster once – she scuttled off with another crab bigger than me, cheeky bitch
Nov 15, 2008 at 6:52 am rating: 10
I had a bad dream about a lobster thursday night. It bit my back. And it could fly.
Nov 15, 2008 at 7:40 am rating: 3
you must be dreaming of my ex’s cousin Osama bin lobster. Don’t let him get the better of you or he’ll drop you into a pot of boiling water
Nov 15, 2008 at 8:38 am rating: 1
Oh my! Thank you for the warning. I guess I should stay away from the River of Drawn Butter as well then.
Nov 15, 2008 at 9:04 am rating: 1
That’s rich. Let’s all blame the self-proclaimed regulars whenever we can’t contribute something funny, insightful or moderately entertaining. Never mind the fact that too many people waddle into the thread without reading the back story on the note or checking the links Kerry provides to shed a little more light on the subject. And let’s forget the fact that the posts which draw the ire of the so-called regulars are generally pretty weak. Let’s also ignore the fact that some of these regulars are at their best when they take other comment authors to task.
This site is what it is: On the surface, an amusing peek into the world of passive-aggressive behavior but when you venture into the comment section you leave Kerry’s site and you’re at the mercy of the masses. There are standards and people are held to them. Come strong, or don’t come at all.
Nov 15, 2008 at 9:30 am rating: 23
Woman on the Verge
Not having been here from the beginning, I have not inspired the derision of anyone…yet… though I have earned the unitard for a failure to gigglebrax infraction. Bottom line? Read everything, like claw says, and post at your own damn risk. Don’t come whining if you just aren’t funny.
Nov 15, 2008 at 10:26 am rating: 7
Trick E Dick
I was talking this over with Henry and he suggested that this site is popular because of the cutting, snarky comments, not despite them.
People come here to see what crazy, off the wall jokes your “regulars” and new submitters come up with, that’s entertainment.
Henry said that not many people would visit to read about what happened to a bunch of other people when they were in college, or when they too had a crappy cubicle mate.
Henry said that the PAN submission is already an example of the situation and that further examples are redundant and therefore boring.
I agreed and promoted him to Secretary of State.
Nov 15, 2008 at 12:40 pm rating: 10
After I promoted him, he was so grateful he gave me a blowjob just before I resigned.
We’ve remained close. Even though I am dead and he is not. Not yet, anyway.
Hurry, Henry, I miss you!
Nov 15, 2008 at 9:16 pm rating: 1
who in the HOLY FUCK is Henry?
also, woman on the verge – you have not yet been made a blip on the “Bad Radar”, yet you are noticed by Mishee! I love your comments and as long as you gigglebrax, you are okay in my book!
Thank you… Terry.
*taking it back*
Yea, I said it.
Nov 15, 2008 at 11:06 pm rating: 4
No, HK’s not dead yet, even though he has the voice of a zombie.
It’s just a matter of time.
Nov 16, 2008 at 12:45 am rating: 1
Bella, Nixon’s not dead…he’s in John McCain’s body!
He still can’t get the plumbers thing right!!
(Cheap Watergate joke)
Nov 16, 2008 at 1:57 am rating: 3
Ba-dumbum.. CB… good one!
(I may be showing my age ) sshh.
Nov 16, 2008 at 9:43 am rating: 1
Woman on the Verge
Gee, Mishee, it’s nice to be noticed… Oh, and Henry = Kissinger.
Nov 16, 2008 at 12:09 pm rating: 0
Thank you, kind humans, for mentioning me. For that, I would be honored to give each of you a thumbs-up. Alas, we lobsters don’t have thumbs. Can I just pinch Holly Wood in the ass with my both claws instead?
Nov 16, 2008 at 7:52 pm rating: 2
or bite her in the back?
can you fly?
Nov 16, 2008 at 8:00 pm rating: 0
Boo Hoo.. YOU FAIL, ALREADY!!
Nov 15, 2008 at 6:43 am rating: 4
Woman on the Verge
Oh, matt…. gigglebrax FAIL!
Nov 15, 2008 at 10:27 am rating: 3
*goes over to corner, picks up unitard and picks off stringy bloodspots and large skin flakes, dons unitard – hmmm. Pulls up crotch section and starts flossing, stops after one minute to shake skin flakes out*
seems this unitard thing is useful afterall..
Nov 15, 2008 at 7:50 pm rating: 1
Where IS that damn smell of yeast coming from in here..
Nov 15, 2008 at 8:14 pm rating: 2
matt, a good man is the man who knows when to take his medicine.
Nov 15, 2008 at 11:08 pm rating: 2
yep, a good dose of rolled up skin flakes, rocket pubes, yeast, bloodspots – it works everytime *oh yum..slurp*
p.s. re “good boy”, my collegues call me bambino
Nov 15, 2008 at 11:23 pm rating: 1
keep those skin flakes!
those are keepers!
they go in the box!
save me from myself
Nov 15, 2008 at 11:27 pm rating: 3
Hmmm…. that’s proabbly the reason that executive at the mobile phone company invented the ‘lock keypad’ function…
The Masked Avenger
Nov 15, 2008 at 10:35 am rating: 0
Woman on the Verge
Hey, TMA, don’t pimp your blog here.
Nov 15, 2008 at 11:09 am rating: 1
Hmmm? Is there a problem with me (as you so like to call it) ‘ pimping’ my blog here?
Nov 15, 2008 at 11:11 am rating: 0
Woman on the Verge
Just wait… you’ll see. Don’t say I didn’t warn you. And, yes, I do like to call it.
Nov 15, 2008 at 11:14 am rating: 3
Is there anyway we can get a Troll sensor at the front door??
TMA – you do NOT sound like a ‘teenager’ if you put “(as you so like to call it)” before using the word ‘pimpin’ – that’s actually words teens use nowadays. So, unless you are Amish (but then why would you have a computer? are you on your Rumspringa or something?) and you aren’t up on the “jive” of today’s youth, its either that or you are a creepy, hairy, overweight middleaged man who is trying to lure young girls (or boys if that’s what gets you going) into friendships so you can stalk them and eventually kill them and leave their carcasses in the wild to be ravaged by wildlife?
Nov 15, 2008 at 11:12 pm rating: 6
PAN is a little funky tonight.
Ajax editor must be drinking the Saturday night away.
Nov 15, 2008 at 11:13 pm rating: 0
Stay away TMA.
Nov 16, 2008 at 9:52 am rating: 0
Woman on the Verge
Finally, backup arrived. I was waiting for you Mishee. But the Crisco icon explains why you were late. How is RB, anyway?
Nov 16, 2008 at 10:39 am rating: 0
FYI, I would appreciate if you did not call me a paedophile and no, I am not middle-aged, I’m about thirty years younger. And is there a problem that I don’t believe in abusing the English language? It would be nice if people could use proper words like ‘advertising’ or ‘selling’ rather than ‘pimping’. Point proven.
Nov 16, 2008 at 12:15 pm rating: 1
I see TMA’s point.
If he is “advertising” or “selling” his own site in his comment, rather than just letting the link in his name serve its purpose , it “proabbly” shouldn’t be called pimping.
I believe the word that best applies is whoring.
Nov 16, 2008 at 1:49 pm rating: 3
are you willing to pay the site owner for each click to your blog? The “advertising” or “selling” that you can see down the side of the page all pay per click.
you are given free advertisement by the link to your site in your name, but you seem to be insisting on extra plugs.
TMA= Too Much Advertising
Nov 16, 2008 at 2:02 pm rating: 1
“Pimping” does not equate to “advertising” or “selling”…the proper synonym would be “pandering”.
Just so you know while you lecture about proper usage of the English language.
TMA = Teen-aged Misplaced Arrogance
Nov 16, 2008 at 2:59 pm rating: 3
*willing to overlook a first infraction*
*has a well-known soft spot for poetry, especially haiku*
Nov 16, 2008 at 3:14 pm rating: 0
Except that was a different infraction.
Oh well, I still believe in second chances.
Nov 16, 2008 at 4:00 pm rating: 0
Wrong again… Pandering is COMPLETELY incorrect, I think you’ll find (according to the dictionary) that it either means:
1. To act as a go-between or liaison in sexual intrigues; function as a procurer (which is not the term being used in this situation).
2. To cater to the lower tastes and desires of others or exploit their weaknesses
Whilst ‘to pimp’ means either to be a marketeer of prostitutes, to sell something (colloquially) or to increase the aesthetic and operating value of something.
Get it right before you lecture me….
Nov 16, 2008 at 4:26 pm rating: 0
*yawns* The weekends in TMA’s area must be freakin’ boring. Looking up dictionary definitions and searching for opportunities to “impress” others with one’s intellect is a hobby pretty much exclusively enjoyed by sexually-deprived nerds. At least where I come from…
Nov 16, 2008 at 4:56 pm rating: 2
And your site is not lower tastes? HA!!!
It also means “to cater basely”.
Nov 16, 2008 at 5:31 pm rating: 2
TMA is just mad cause we are Yanks and we speak American.
Apparently we just skewer the English language.
I say “Bollocks to that, sir! Cock off!!”
*yessss! I finally got to use it!!*
Nov 16, 2008 at 6:52 pm rating: 2
Jolly good, Mishee!!!
Two peoples separated by a common language.
Nov 16, 2008 at 7:13 pm rating: 1
And dental hygiene practices.
Nov 16, 2008 at 7:19 pm rating: 1
Sorry, but I must stick up for my compatriots somewhat here: orthodontics does *not* equal dental hygiene.
Our teeth maybe more crooked, but they’re clean and healthy damnit! We just don’t care so much about them being straight is all.
Nov 17, 2008 at 5:52 am rating: 8
Cause you know, leaving the skin on while giving a BJ just wouldn’t be British enough. Keeping the mangled grill is seriously passive aggressive Do I see James Dean in there?
Nov 17, 2008 at 7:20 pm rating: 0
poor amanda… now she got stuck with a stupid guy that suffer a pre-dementia problem.
Nov 15, 2008 at 11:06 am rating: 0
Woman on the Verge
According to the “slang dictionary” pimp means to plug or promote. Wait, how old are you? Shouldn’t you be explaining this shit to the rest of us?
Nov 16, 2008 at 6:21 pm rating: 0
Poor poor WotV.
I will let this one slide… we are all human…. well, most of us.
Psst: I think Wade may be a robot of some sort with Total Recall
Nov 16, 2008 at 6:54 pm rating: 0
Woman on the Verge
How did this happen? I’m always so careful with gigglebraxing. *hangs head with shame, grateful for Mishee’s forgiveness*
That explains a lot about wade….
Nov 16, 2008 at 8:19 pm rating: 0
Claw, oh…so it’s ‘Kerry’ now? Gee, you must have been here ‘since damn nearly the beginning’. Hats off to you dear sir, I dare not get in your way.
And how two-dimensional can one get? Much of the amusement of this site first comes from the subject note itself, second is the desperate race in the comments section from the lemmings trying so hard to attain membership in some fictional ‘club’, via a ‘genuinely’ high-brow attempt at humor. For the real readers of the site, the screams for validation in the comments section is where much of the real PA action is.
And Frankie, don’t give up! You’ve been here since damn nearly the beginning after all. One day you’ll get that embroidered PA badge attesting to your longetivity at passiveaggressivenotes.com! Ask Momsey politely and she’ll sew it on to the shoulder of your tunic.
But quite Frankly, besides my attempt at being a true asshole in this post, this site does deliver some serious humour in the original content it posts regularly (i.e. the original PA notes themselves). To those clinging on by riding on the coat-tails of the real humor by fishing for validation in the comments section; lighten up -many of you are becoming the very thing you strive to critique.
Nov 16, 2008 at 1:00 am rating: 10
*sets up fishing pole and 12 pack of beer and settles in until a nibble of “validation” will happen*
*will be waiting a long time*
I just mostly stay around here cause I am not very good at surfing the web, so I can’t find a better site, not to mention I love all my adoring fans.
As for YOU missy… haven’t we already covered “Nesting your comments (a.k.a. gigglebraxing)” in this thread??
And Yes, all us regulars refer to her as kerry (not to her face! OMG that would humiliating) but to YOU it is still “PANGoddess”… just remember your place and we will all be okay!
Nov 16, 2008 at 1:20 am rating: 5
*To those clinging on by riding on the coat-tails of the real humor by fishing for validation in the comments section; lighten up -many of you are becoming the very thing you strive to critique.*
Not to put too fine a point on it but, you are beginning to resemble this remark.
The mirror is above your bathroom sink…look into it.
I’ll be here all week, ladies and gentlemen…don’t forget to try the veal!!
Nov 16, 2008 at 1:45 am rating: 6
Holly Wood, since you have done nothing here but criticize the “regulars”, wouldn’t that make YOU the one that’s riding coattails fishing for validation in the comments section of this site? The only difference is that you try to beat up on them instead of joining in making jokes.
I didn’t read where you asked that no one give your rants thumbs-ups, so you must enjoy the validation that they imply.
You’re a really small person and I hope my little girl never acts like you. If she did, I’d take her to Nebraska.
Nov 16, 2008 at 2:13 am rating: 3
please decide how you’d like to spell humour/humor. Try to be consistent throughout your hate-speech.
Nov 16, 2008 at 2:21 am rating: 2
hey! Mishee!! I can see a big one! Wind in, wind in! You’ve got a really cool exciting comment coming up to the surface..
DAMN..just an old car tyre. Oh, it’s no use..
Nov 16, 2008 at 3:02 am rating: 0
HW: It’s Kerry because I actually read the content provided and understand that Kerry Miller is the purveyor of this website. When I experience technical difficulties I will pray to the mighty eerac, not because I’ve been here long enough to know who eerac is but because I’ve taken the time to read the bottom of the page. . That in itself does not make me special, nor does my relative longevity as a comment author on this site. What makes me special is my sense of humor and ability to concisely articulate a point. Those qualities are evident on my blogs as much as they are here. Yes, I do have the audacity to declare myself a good writer. Sue me.
I’ll admit that I do enjoy the alleged validation this site provides but what I enjoy more is knowing that I’ve made people laugh because, if we’re being honest, the vast majority of my posts dabble in the realm of humor…lowbrow, highbrow and sometimes even the cheeky British-style humor that languishes in between. There are funnier people here, but my versatility is what sets me apart.
So now that we’ve covered my ego, let’s move on.
As a I read your missives I get the distinct impression that you’re intimidated by the quality of some of the humor here so rather than participate you look for reasons to denigrate. That’s a rather common defense mechanism. I understand that a recent thread got a little ugly and some of the newer visitors might have taken umbrage but what you’ve interpreted as snobbery on the part of certain site regulars was really just exasperation over the consistent failure to read post in its entirety, back story and previous comments included. We’ve seen people make the exact same joke Kerry made in the post’s title before. That’s lame and should be called out.
If you want to continue lobbing complaints at us rather than contribute to the discussion that’s fine. From time to time we’ll fight back but before long you’ll generally be ignored. That would be unfortunate. This site is a lot of fun. I enjoy reading and writing comments more than the notes themselves. There are a lot of intelligent and funny people who frequent this site. I like to think that I’m one of them but even if I’m not, it’s still a great place to come and play.
Nov 16, 2008 at 9:30 am rating: 12
Hail to the Chief!
Nov 16, 2008 at 10:02 am rating: 0
nevermind…. not so funny, after all
Nov 16, 2008 at 10:32 am rating: 0
Woman on the Verge
That whole fishing for validation thing? I gotta confess, I emailed all my friends when my buskers comment made ‘word of the day’. I am so… validated. Or violated. Um… okay, both.
You da Man, claw.
Yeah, I said it, HW!
Nov 16, 2008 at 2:50 pm rating: 0
Just to make sure everyone is clear, I don’t think claw71 had me in mind at any time during the writing of his last novel.
Well, maybe my mom, but definitely not me.
Nov 16, 2008 at 6:57 pm rating: 1
Nov 16, 2008 at 1:41 am rating: 0
Nov 16, 2008 at 2:20 am rating: 0
it seems this comments section is quickly turning into a bitch pit.. oh well
*sits down by Mishee, cracks out bottle of bourbon, takes swig and promptly passes out*
Nov 16, 2008 at 2:26 am rating: 0
matt, we’ve gotta get you gigglebrax lessons when you wake up!
snee, you’re like a wife…no matter what I say, you say the opposite!
takes matt’s bottle and tries to get drunk and pass out too but the noob-fight is too entertaining!
Nov 16, 2008 at 2:32 am rating: 0
i do not!
Nov 16, 2008 at 2:47 am rating: 1
Woman on the Verge
You realize, CB, that matt is ENJOYING the unitard. He is intentionally ignoring gigglebraxing in order to keep the unitard and it’s sordid contents. This is actually admirable in a warped, sick kind of way.
WotV – wel,l how I see it we are all a second away from having it again… always be vigilant and REREAD your comment after it’s posting… or even… ohh, look, a preview button!
matt – stop drinking and study your gigglebraxing! if you get bad marks this next semester, you don’t get to play with your Wii for a month!! (or your wee-wee for that matter! yes, I said it!!)
CB & snee – | (I like to play Devil’s Advocate)
Nov 16, 2008 at 6:59 pm rating: 2
Nov 16, 2008 at 7:32 pm rating: 1
glo, why do you have to be such a downer?
Nov 16, 2008 at 7:34 pm rating: 0
hey Mishee, how do you know I’ve got….
Oh never mind..
Nov 17, 2008 at 6:05 am rating: 0
yes pls enlighten me, is this gigglebrax thing a PA invention or americanic word, never heard of it.. sigh-i’m just a naive ozzy..
*crashes back onto ground and rolls over* zzzz
Nov 16, 2008 at 2:42 am rating: 0
Hey naive Aussie,
I’m one of those, too, and we better be careful how we spell Aussie or Ozzie or Ozzy or Auzzie, or Die Holly will pull us up for inconsistency
Gigglebrax is in fact a very arcane word brought to us be the (un)holyghost. When we go for (un)holy communion she places a wafer on our tongues (not at the same time, nor collectively) and says The Body of Christ. We respond with gigglebrax, though some like to hyphenate it, then there is a pause in between the two words.
I hope that has enlightened you.
Yours in Antipodeness…
Nov 16, 2008 at 5:52 am rating: 1
rrrh, I can’t get any words italicacized!
As for the gigglebrax thing, I’ve never done deals with ghosts, holy or otherwise hehe.
BTW: Is there an aussie/ozzy/auzzie way of spelling Aussie. Ouch, that makes my brain hurt
Nov 16, 2008 at 6:02 am rating: 0
Ooh, you were only playing dead.
Anyway, gigglebrax, ur doin it right. (see the irony in me doing it wrong? That was intentional, btw *coughs*).
Let me see, this site likes Aussie, but it’s slang, you know, so it duzznreally matter.
This site might help you with your italics.
Nov 16, 2008 at 6:13 am rating: 0
☣ thanx for that
“duzzenreally madder” zounz zortov addalianmate
Nov 16, 2008 at 6:59 am rating: 0
Woman on the Verge
matt, hon, don’t drink and post.
Nov 16, 2008 at 12:16 pm rating: 0
WOTV: Is this a cyber breathalyser test?.. what? blow where, oh ok * ha…fffffffffff. Hey! Get those handcuffs off me now, put me back!! Oh, Hi Nick, whats all that blood on your shirt? Amanda’s? oh ok.. yeh she was a bit of a bitch i guess*
Nov 16, 2008 at 4:08 pm rating: 0
*thinking how much fun this comment section used to be….*
You fucking jackasses are ruining it.
Nov 16, 2008 at 6:15 pm rating: 0
This is typical no-note weekend behavior.
The natives are restless.
Nov 16, 2008 at 7:07 pm rating: 0
I’ll have you know that I have never fucked a jackass. Well, some of those women may have looked and sounded like jackasses, but, I assure you they weren’t.
Well, thinking more on it, maybe one or two were.
Nov 16, 2008 at 8:04 pm rating: 1
maybe when there’s a new PAN note to comment on you and Mishee can teach us newbies how to post “old style” hey. Only if you want to. No? No, don’t worry about it, I’ll just… leave
“ruining it”: Spice it up yourself Diva
Nov 16, 2008 at 8:11 pm rating: 0
I’ve never fucked a jackass either.
Jill was very accommodating though!!
Nov 16, 2008 at 9:09 pm rating: 0
does a donkey show count as fucking a jackass?
cause if that’s the case… um.. nevermind.
Nov 17, 2008 at 10:54 am rating: 0
I’m a regular reader of PAN that hasn’t ever commented because I’m only slightly amusing. I’m in touch with my inability to keep up with the hilarious stuff that can be found in the comments here. This website was funny because of the combination of the notes AND the comments.
You whiners are taking all of the fun out of it for the rest of us. Go whine somewhere else so I can enjoy PAN and the, been here from nearly the beginning, regulars. Seriously…quit your whining.
Nov 17, 2008 at 10:00 pm rating: 3
49 comments, too many comments for this, WOW! Facebook! HOW EXCITING! not.
Nov 20, 2008 at 2:13 pm rating: 0
Apparently it’s just a little exciting.
Nov 27, 2008 at 7:20 am rating: 0
I remember when i first join FB, i added a friend(guy) and was prompted on how we met, so me being the mischievous fellow that i am, i click on we dated and still friends. Now, at the time it sounded like a good idea. but DAYAM, was i f’kin wrong. The next thing i know i was like getting weird msgs in my inbox from gay guys.
owh, i think i should delete FB..it’s destroying lives.
Mar 4, 2009 at 8:09 pm rating: 0
— Ed Decatur
2011: The Top Notes of the Year
2010: The Funniest Notes of the Year
2009: The Best Notes of the Year
2008: Your Favorite Notes of the Year
Carnivores: keep being awesome!
actually totally reasonable
a little patronizing
clip art catastrophe
flowers, trees, houseplants & gardens
landlords and property managers
Moms & Dads
more aggressive than passive
most popular notes of 2010
most popular notes of 2011
most popular notes of 2012
most popular notes of 2013
now that's management
sex sex sex
signed with love
spelling and grammar police
thanks (but not really)
unnecessary "quotation marks"
You call that punctuation?