“that’s what she said”

November 18th, 2008 · 195 comments

spotted by randi in charlotte, north carolina, this one’s straight out of the michael scott playbook.

related: to the victor goes the bile

This post is favorited by 1 user

FILED UNDER: faint praise · north carolina · now that's management · oh no you didn't · spelling and grammar police

195 responses so far ↓

#1 Kerri

I may be a bad spelling witch, but I try…

Nov 18, 2008 at 9:58 pm rating: +9

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#2 Geoff Girardin

This… this is the greatest receipt I have ever seen.

Nov 18, 2008 at 9:59 pm rating: +57

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#3 shane

Man, if I had a nickel for every time someone said that about me, I’d have…. hang on.. carry the 2… gah, I need to go lay down.

Nov 18, 2008 at 10:02 pm rating: +43

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#4 Erika

Their “special” employee of the month?
Perhaps they are running a monthly work program.

Nov 18, 2008 at 10:16 pm rating: +1

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- #4.1 agirlie
  
  That’s what I am thinking, still quite a back handed compliment. In my wildest dreams someone got ahold of the managers key and re-programmed the receipt print out as a joke on a friend, which is funny to me and not sad…
  
  Nov 18, 2008 at 10:23 pm rating: +18
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#5 georgia girl

fyi - the term ’special’ in educational lexicon refers to students with special needs, often with intellectual disabilities. Without a doubt, Janet is employed by the restaurant in a program to promote self-sufficiency. THAT SAID, the so called ‘normal’ employee who can’t spell ‘tries’ needs to be called out by the spelling police.

Nov 18, 2008 at 10:18 pm rating: +34

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- #5.1 fantasy
  
  My sister Janet, went to art school, in a short yellow limo.
  
  It took me about a week to figure it out, that art school meant ’special’ in educational lexicon refering to students with special needs, often with intellectual disabilities.
  
  *Human speak, special ed.*
  
  Nov 19, 2008 at 12:52 am rating: +7
- #5.2 Amandah
  
  this doesn’t bode well for me, i go to art school
  
  Nov 19, 2008 at 8:48 am rating: +22
- #5.3 claw71
  
  I thought that the misspelling clearly identifies Janet as the one tooting her own horn.
  
  Nov 19, 2008 at 9:34 am rating: +9
- #5.4 secondsout
  
  My school, like most schools, featured the occasional attempt to integrate the special ed kids with the regular kids. Most usually in PE class. Not that that worked all that well. The non-tards would usually get annoyed by the tards on the team. “Stick him way in the back of the outfield and call him the ‘rover’ or something. You don’t need him at first base.”
  
  Nov 19, 2008 at 12:16 pm rating: +4
- #5.5 Canthz_B
  
  Yeah, they made great Dodgeball targets too!
  
  Nov 19, 2008 at 1:01 pm rating: +6
- #5.6 secondsout
  
  Or tennis targets.
  
  Nov 19, 2008 at 1:06 pm rating: +2
- #5.7 Ti O
  
  That one day a year where you had to go to the gym and do line dance or square dance in my day with a girls class. somehow the girls class always had the one “special” girl she would have the sweatiest hands. They always stuck me with her and….
  WAIT a minute I was the “special” boy in my class!
  
  Nov 19, 2008 at 1:27 pm rating: +16
- #5.8 Canthz_B
  
  So much becomes clear to you now, eh Ti?
  
  Nov 19, 2008 at 1:48 pm rating: +3
- #5.9 agatha christie
  
  I work with ’special’ kids and once, while plastered, said, “I can call them retarded because I work with them!” Everyone except me was horrified. I know I’m going to Hell, why not get there in a handbasket?
  
  Nov 19, 2008 at 6:51 pm rating: +3
- #5.10 agirlie
  
  Tards? seriously? NT stands for neurotypical which most of my kids are, two are NOT neurotypical, one had ASD (translated-autism) and rode the “short bus” in early childhood. Not fond of the word retard and esp not “tard”, I know there is more class here than those statements represent.
  
  Nov 19, 2008 at 9:05 pm rating: +25
- #5.11 fantasy
  
  *but, my sister did go to “art school” that is what my parents said. *
  
  Nov 20, 2008 at 8:35 am rating: +1
- #5.12 JoeInLA
  
  “…I know there is more class here than those statements represent.”
  
  Nope. Check out some of the toilet threads if you don’t believe me. Lots of wit though, if that helps to soften the blow.
  
  Nov 20, 2008 at 5:20 pm rating: +1
- #5.13 Canthz_B
  
  agirlie, you’ve been on PAN a very long time.
  What ever gave you the idea there was much class to be found here?
  That’s just retarded!
  
  Nov 20, 2008 at 6:09 pm rating: +6
- #5.14 tropicalmist
  
  agirlie, retard means slow, so if they are slow in any way then technically they are retarded.
  
  Dec 2, 2008 at 10:25 pm rating: 0
- #5.15 tropicalmist
  
  agirlie, retard means slow, so if they are slow in any way then technically they are retarded.
  
  I think ’special’ sounds more offensive than ‘retarded’… it’s called mental retardation, so why shouldn’t they be called retarded? OH honey, you’re just SPECIAL. That’s like saying that Santa Clause IS fucking real.
  
  Dec 2, 2008 at 10:27 pm rating: +3
- #5.16 tropicalmist
  
  sorry, my browser fucked up and I didn’t see that I posted the first time, so I posted again and added some shit… lol… no I’m not retarded.
  
  Dec 2, 2008 at 10:33 pm rating: 0
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#6 fantasy

She may be slow???

Well of course she is, she was born with trys a disease that makes your life HELL!

Sorry, your HotChoc LG is cold.

Nov 18, 2008 at 10:24 pm rating: +7

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#7 Sirius

She’s Tryon her best

Nov 18, 2008 at 10:37 pm rating: +10

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- #7.1 fantasy
  
  “Tryon her best down on North Tryon Street”!
  
  Sounds like a country western song!
  
  Nov 19, 2008 at 12:18 am rating: +3
- #7.2 Canthz_B
  
  That misspelling manager’s assignment to the Tryon Street store reminds me of Capt. Wilton Parmenter being assigned to command “F-Troop”.
  
  Nov 19, 2008 at 1:50 am rating: +3
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#8 Mishee

Attention Dunkin Donuts Customers:

We are sorry we are closing our doors after years of loyal service. Janet may be slow, but apparently her father and his high powered attorneys are quite quick to slap us with a lawsuit.

We thank you for your continued patronage.
Management

Nov 18, 2008 at 10:38 pm rating: +80

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#9 WolfDog

Please don’t tell me that person used a credit card for 2 bucks! Who doesn’t have a couple of dollars laying around, check behind the couch.

Nov 18, 2008 at 10:41 pm rating: +12

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- #9.1 se
  
  There’s this newfangled thing people are using, called a debit card.
  
  Nov 18, 2008 at 10:47 pm rating: +40
- #9.2 fantasy
  
  One Hot Chocolate, $2.15.
  
  Making Janet feel special “Priceless!”
  
  Nov 19, 2008 at 12:35 am rating: +20
- #9.3 Woman on the Verge
  
  It’s those damn Visa commercials. Nobody wants to be the one who screws up the complicated choreography of the fast food business by actually using cash… It’s already slowed down by that damn Janet, cash would simply cause a complete breakdown of the donut business.
  
  Nov 19, 2008 at 7:43 am rating: +34
- #9.4 Timo
  
  For Godssakes, keep a grip on it, Janet.
  
  Nov 19, 2008 at 8:45 am rating: +2
- #9.5 Goldie
  
  You got me, WolfDog, it happened to me yesterday. I used my credit card for a $3 transaction. It was 10PM, I was completely out of cash, and I forgot to bring my couch with me. This will never happen again, as I have now chopped the couch in pieces and put it in my trunk.
  
  Nov 19, 2008 at 9:26 am rating: +77
- #9.6 claw71
  
  Fuck you, WolfDog. I always use plastic. American Express, baby, everytime. Don’t leave home without it. I don’t care if I’m buying a box of doughnut holes for$2.50 or a case of White Castles for $8.99. When I make a purchase I want people to know who they’re dealing with.
  
  Nov 19, 2008 at 9:41 am rating: +23
- #9.7 Ti O
  
  When I am buying zip ties, duct tape and plastic drop cloths or even just a bottle of chainsaw oil I hand over the plastic. It gives me a chance to feel the texture of the young cashier girl’s skin.
  
  aahhhhhhh.
  
  Nov 19, 2008 at 1:34 pm rating: +20
- #9.8 MW
  
  Has no one heard of a Visa DEBIT CARD?
  
  Nov 19, 2008 at 2:17 pm rating: 0
- #9.9 Goldie
  
  So, Ti_O, what do you hand over if the cashier is a guy?
  
  Nov 19, 2008 at 2:17 pm rating: +2
- #9.10 Numinous
  
  I know you want us to think you buy that stuff for abducting and murdering young women, but I’m pretty sure that’s just your regular supplies for weeknight porn watching.
  
  Nov 19, 2008 at 2:19 pm rating: +11
- #9.11 Timo
  
  Don’t be silly the chainsaw oil really is for the saw.
  
  Nov 19, 2008 at 2:39 pm rating: +2
- #9.12 Numinous
  
  Is that what you call it? I heard of boys giving nicknames to their penises before, but that’s an awfully strange one.
  
  Nov 19, 2008 at 4:05 pm rating: +2
- #9.13 Brian
  
  9.8 “Has no one heard of a Visa DEBIT CARD?”
  
  Well for one, se who posted comment 9.1 has.
  
  Nov 19, 2008 at 9:44 pm rating: +2
- #9.14 cucumber
  
  If it was really for the saw I think you’d call it “bar and chain oil” like the rest of us who actually USE chainsaws do.
  
  Nov 20, 2008 at 2:52 pm rating: 0
- #9.15 maggie
  
  Spoken like a true chain saw murderer.
  Somebody has to talk for EVERYONE right cucumber.
  
  Nov 20, 2008 at 3:17 pm rating: +1
- #9.16 P.Bunyan
  
  It pays to know the tool.
  
  I say good man be a chap and hand me the bar and chain oil. Now don’t be a ruffian and refer to it in a general way as chain oil or saw oil. Why that would be right slap dash!
  
  Nov 20, 2008 at 4:06 pm rating: +2
- #9.17 Canthz_B
  
  “…know the tool.”
  
  *snicker
  
  Nov 20, 2008 at 5:12 pm rating: +3
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#10 0falcon8

as a reward for getting employee of the month, does janet receive a prys?

Nov 18, 2008 at 10:42 pm rating: +53

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- #10.1 Sue Do Nim
  
  Unless she does, she crys.
  
  Nov 18, 2008 at 10:45 pm rating: +28
- #10.2 Holiday Djinn
  
  If it is a Dunkin Donuts shirt, i hope it is the right sys.
  
  Nov 19, 2008 at 7:37 am rating: +26
- #10.3 GhostWriter
  
  We won’t find out until Randi replys.
  
  Nov 19, 2008 at 9:47 am rating: +19
- #10.4 Bunnee
  
  You can never believe Randi, she lys.
  
  Nov 19, 2008 at 10:51 am rating: +18
- #10.5 Canthz_B
  
  I’d love a response, but it would be a surprys.
  
  Nov 19, 2008 at 11:51 am rating: +16
- #10.6 Bunnee
  
  You won’t believe it until you see it with your own eys.
  
  Nov 19, 2008 at 12:29 pm rating: +9
- #10.7 Krystal Pistol
  
  If the shirt’s too big, she can always set the heat on hy while it drys.
  
  Nov 20, 2008 at 6:08 pm rating: +3
- #10.8 Leona
  
  Good lord, this whole chain made me laugh so hard I nearly wet my pants.
  
  Thanks for the high quality lulz.
  You’d better stop now before somebody sprays their keyboard and their computer dys.
  
  Nov 28, 2008 at 4:59 pm rating: +1
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#11 John in IL

Wouldn’t you be kinda stupid (slow) to say “hello” after you got your receipt. The deed is done. Sadly, receipts mean goodbye.

Nov 18, 2008 at 10:45 pm rating: +30

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- #11.1 fantasy
  
  At the drive up window no less! Very hard to back up after the fact.
  
  Nov 19, 2008 at 12:26 am rating: +8
- #11.2 AuntyBron
  
  No, just park your car, run inside and accost the poor girl on her special day.
  
  Nov 19, 2008 at 1:08 am rating: +11
- #11.3 Ti O
  
  What?
  Is her Aunt Flo visiting?
  
  Nov 19, 2008 at 1:36 pm rating: +3
- #11.4 star
  
  you mean receipts mean goodby?
  
  Dec 2, 2008 at 10:36 pm rating: 0
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#12 0falcon8

i think all the rumors about janet being “special” and “slow” are lyes

Nov 18, 2008 at 10:50 pm rating: +23

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- #12.1 Canthz_B
  
  Janet wanted her brother Lenny to work there too, but he’s in a production of “Of Myce and Men”.
  
  Nov 19, 2008 at 12:46 am rating: +13
- #12.2 Andy
  
  Um, the word is ‘lys’. Learn to spell, special ed.
  
  Nov 19, 2008 at 9:14 am rating: +11
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#13 Mishee

The manager made Janet special employee of the month after she tested negative on her EPT.

Nov 18, 2008 at 11:12 pm rating: +10

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- #13.1 amazon
  
  That was the first test I ever failed, and was thrilled about it!
  
  Nov 19, 2008 at 4:44 pm rating: +1

painfully polite and hilariously hostile writings from shared spaces the world over

“that’s what she said”

November 18th, 2008 · 195 comments

195 responses so far ↓