our anonymous submitter says this display is just one of many microwave missives his coworker has created. “someone tore it down and threw it on the floor once,” he says, “but she put it back up, laminated with heavy-duty tape.”
and of course, the art-imitating-life inspiration for this post:
related: to each his own microwave
extra credit: pam beasley, a passive-aggressive note writer? [hulu.com];
“and what about the penises?” [nbc.com]








126 responses so far ↓
#1
Lisa

You had me at “sinage”.
Seriously, I feel you. Nothing worse than a microwave piggie.
Nov 20, 2008 at 11:09 pm rating: +4 
#2
Eric B.

If anyone’s being inconsiderate of the people on the floor, I bet it’s the people on the ceiling. I hear that their spiritual leader, Lionel Richie, is very floorist.
Nov 20, 2008 at 11:16 pm rating: +35 
#3
eddy

It must be tough having to work at a job with a bunch of sinners and all their sinage going around.
Nov 20, 2008 at 11:17 pm rating: +12 
#4
Julia

The only thing this note is really missing is a few f-bombs. That would make it pretty much perfect.
“Nuke” is a nice touch, as well.
Nov 20, 2008 at 11:19 pm rating: +1 
#5
cw

I’ll pay anybody who works at this office $50 to blow up a hot pocket in that microwave.
Nov 20, 2008 at 11:22 pm rating: +24 
#6
snee

all that’s really missing here is the “listen assholes” beginning.
Nov 20, 2008 at 11:24 pm rating: +6 
#7
snee

why no clip art?
Nov 20, 2008 at 11:25 pm rating: +1 
#8
richgirlred

Verily, verily I say unto thee: Let he who is without sinage scorch the first weenie.
I agree–clipart would really get the point across to the genuises (or is that genuis-i) at this joint.
Nov 20, 2008 at 11:30 pm rating: +3 
#9
harmonicpies

This sort of logic abounds at my workplace. She sneers at the “genius” of her co-workers, yet her solution to the ineffectiveness of her signs is to post more signs.
Nov 20, 2008 at 11:31 pm rating: +8 
#10
snee

passive aggressive notes for dummies
caps — check
bold — check
underlining — check
red — check
highlighting — check
dictionary definition — check
font size variation — check
excessive exclamation points — check
lamination — check
f-bombs — che–WAIT! FUCK!!!!
Nov 20, 2008 at 11:32 pm rating: +30 
#11
Flaboy2425

If the writer thinks paper made a mess, just wait until tomorrow when I heat up a dish of pinto beans…..uncovered.
Nov 20, 2008 at 11:33 pm rating: +5 
#12
aaa

Aw, now that’s not fair. Pigs are very intelligent and are very clean if you let them be.
Nov 20, 2008 at 11:50 pm rating: +2 
#13
Canthz_B

No foreign matter.
Everyone must eat domestic foods.
Nov 21, 2008 at 12:03 am rating: +7 
#14
Canthz_B

Silly co-worker.
If I had a pig that could blow shit up in a microwave, I’d be in show business!
Nov 21, 2008 at 12:05 am rating: +17 
#15
Chris D.

Did someone submit this because they saw the exact same thing on “The Office” tonight?
Nov 21, 2008 at 12:06 am rating: +4 
#16
Canthz_B

I’m starting to think this person will only be happy with a microwave oven that can prove its virginity.
Nov 21, 2008 at 12:08 am rating: +7 
#17
Canthz_B

This is what happens when telecommuting is discontinued.
You just can’t put Humpty-Dumpty back together again.
Nov 21, 2008 at 12:15 am rating: +1 
#18
snee

could be tricky. sometimes the seal is broken during rough handling in the factory.
Nov 21, 2008 at 12:15 am rating: +1 
#19
Canthz_B

If this person had not been obsessed with defining “clean” and “cleanliness”, perhaps they’d have had time to study up on microwaves and not used that unfortunate “nuke”.
Nov 21, 2008 at 12:27 am rating: +2 
#20
Ash

She can’t spell “signage”. It makes the baby Jesus cry.
Nov 21, 2008 at 1:18 am rating: +3 
#21
HolyHamstersBatman

If I worked in that office I’d cosine, tangent to her sinage. I fucking hate people using the microwave to blow up paper. I need it paper-free so that my blown up Hot Pocket can leave nice, neat, scalding hot, and fried on cheese splatters everywhere. Assholes.
Nov 21, 2008 at 1:20 am rating: +18 
#22
cee

nice office reference!
Nov 21, 2008 at 1:23 am rating: +2 
#23
Canthz_B

Obsess: Miriam-Webster definition:
1) to haunt or excessively preoccupy the mind of
2) to engage in obsessive thinking : become obsessed with an idea
Kudos to you and you obsession with our microwave’s cleanliness. Now, try re-directing some of that energy towards your in-box.
Nov 21, 2008 at 1:38 am rating: +7 