anyone for “heart and soul”?

November 24th, 2008 · 89 comments

“there are several common rooms in my dormitory at indiana university, and most of them have pianos available for the students to play,” writes jain in bloomington.

“while I can empathize with this anonymous student’s frustration, possibly after hearing the third or fourth broken attempt at ‘chopsticks’ in a single day, i’ve personally found the exit to be a more successful coping strategy than leaving bitchy notes on a baby grand. but hey, different strokes…”

meanwhile, dan spotted a supermarket in sterling, virginia that took the above note-writer’s sentiment just a half-step further.

related: i used to be your biggest fan

extra credit: pearls before breakfast [washingtonpost.com]

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FILED UNDER: indiana · music · northern virginia · university · virginia

89 responses so far ↓

#1 LES

….and “No Stairway.”

Nov 24, 2008 at 5:45 pm rating: +25

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- #1.1 Mishee
  
  Denied!
  
  Nov 24, 2008 at 6:06 pm rating: +8
- #1.2 Hod
  
  …but Captain and Tenille is acceptable.
  
  Nov 24, 2008 at 9:29 pm rating: +7
- #1.3 HolyHamstersBatman
  
  Thanks!
  
  ANDREW
  
  ps: Buy me a Cosmo and I’ll let you touch my stuff.
  
  Nov 24, 2008 at 10:28 pm rating: +2
- #1.4 Ti O
  
  An appletini thankyouverymuch!
  
  Nov 25, 2008 at 8:24 am rating: +1
- #1.5 You Suck at Craigslist
  
  The worst “I don’t play piano but I play this” item would have to be the keyboard intro to “Jump” by Van Halen.
  
  Nov 25, 2008 at 1:25 pm rating: +2
- #1.6 Frankie
  
  Actually I believe the worst is “The Entertainer”. You actually can “get enough of that.”
  
  *gigglebrax*
  
  sorry Mark.
  
  Nov 25, 2008 at 1:48 pm rating: +1
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#2 Mark

Freebird!!

Nov 24, 2008 at 5:48 pm rating: +7

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#3 Mishee

I can’t play “Thanks”?

Can I at least play “Your Welcome”?

Nov 24, 2008 at 6:16 pm rating: +10

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#4 secondsout

The piano is for entertainment, so don’t play it? How can a piano entertain anyone without someone playing it?

Nov 24, 2008 at 6:19 pm rating: +7

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- #4.1 HolyHamstersBatman
  
  perhaps its one of those trick pianos that plays by itself? Either that or it starts doing a strip tease after you stare at it long enough. Hence the no touching. You have to be privy to the “back room” for that.
  
  Nov 24, 2008 at 10:32 pm rating: +3
- #4.2 maggie
  
  You mean a player piano?
  That’s not a trick piano.
  
  Nov 25, 2008 at 12:28 am rating: +4
- #4.3 HolyHamstersBatman
  
  Ah yes, the ones where the keys move without someone pushing them. I had no idea what they were called. And the only time I’ve seen them used is when they are meant to “trick” people..aka, a haunted house, so its a ghost playing..you get the idea. No need to get snippy.
  
  Nov 25, 2008 at 12:50 am rating: +3
- #4.4 AuntyBron
  
  The Lobby - excuse me - ATRIUM of one the the local hospitals (They’re a bit pretentious in that part of the county) has a programmed player baby grand piano. It just starts playing. Weird.
  
  Nov 25, 2008 at 1:16 am rating: 0
- #4.5 HolyHamstersBatman
  
  Yeah, I think the concept is just a bit strange. Did the hospital think they were just fancy enough to have a real piano versus music over a speaker system, but that having an actual pianist was just a little TOO fancy pants? Which then begs the question..why was there a piano in a supermarket? Kroger thought they were just fancy enough to have a piano, but not one that played, either on its own or manually?
  
  Nov 25, 2008 at 1:37 am rating: 0
- #4.6 Canthz_B
  
  Given the amounts hospitals charge nowadays, you’d think they’d have a live orchestra performing in the Atrium!
  
  Nov 25, 2008 at 1:40 am rating: +1
- #4.7 Woman on the Verge
  
  Um, let’s see. Entertaining without actually playing… Well, you could look at the pretty black and white pattern. Yeah, not so entertaining. Admire the clean lines? Nope.
  Wait a minute! Is that thing even real? It looks like it’s made of cardboard! Ah ha! That is entertaining!
  
  Nov 25, 2008 at 7:31 am rating: +1
- #4.8 Ti O
  
  “You suck, your piano playing sucks, we want entertainment.”
  
  I see that the keyboard is on top of a disklavier which basically is a digital player piano setup. The one on top is fake sitting on the disklavier upright.
  
  Nov 25, 2008 at 8:34 am rating: 0
- #4.9 Trick E Dick
  
  HolyHamsters, the reproducing piano was NOT designed as a haunted house gag.
  It is, however, played by ghosts. Just so you know.
  
  Nov 25, 2008 at 12:07 pm rating: +6
- #4.10 GhostWriter
  
  The Reproducing Piano?
  Is that Liberace’s version of The Sorcerer’s Apprentice?
  
  Nov 25, 2008 at 12:30 pm rating: +3
- #4.11 hamburke
  
  I know where that piano in the supermarket is (20 minutes from here). They have a wine bar that is open in the evening and the piano is up there and is played by a tuxedo-clad person when the wine bar is open. It is a pretentious supermarket but I go b/c they have a free 30-min child care for children over 3, excellent produce and meat at reasonable prices and a sandwich shop (and sushi shop but I don’t go there but it speaks to the pretentiousness).
  
  Nov 25, 2008 at 1:37 pm rating: +1
- #4.12 Amanda
  
  “You mean a player piano?
  That’s not a trick piano.”
  
  Good point. After all, we all know that a player might pick up a trick, but would never, ever be one.
  
  Nov 25, 2008 at 3:55 pm rating: +1
- #4.13 HelloDeli
  
  Hamburke, don’t hate on Wegmans! That place is awesome! I know and love that supermarket…
  
  Nov 25, 2008 at 5:18 pm rating: 0
- #4.14 hamburke
  
  yeah, and the Sterling Wegmans is way more awesome than the Fairfax one that’s 5 minutes away. But I still feel weird going in there EVERY TIME like I’m somehow unqualified to be there.
  
  Nov 25, 2008 at 8:47 pm rating: +1
- #4.15 HolyHamstersBatman
  
  You can’t fool me with the ghosties Trick E Dick.. I know its really a trained gerbil running about inside pushing the mallets. So there!
  
  Nov 26, 2008 at 1:41 am rating: 0
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#5 secondsout

What if you’re really good… at playing Chopsticks?

Nov 24, 2008 at 6:21 pm rating: +6

reply to this comment
- #5.1 AuntyBron
  
  Sout - ain’t nobody good at playing Chopsticks.
  
  Nov 25, 2008 at 1:16 am rating: +2
- #5.2 Holiday Djinn
  
  I’ve heard tell that Fats Waller made a career out of it.
  
  Nov 25, 2008 at 12:36 pm rating: 0
- #5.3 Frankie
  
  That was absolutely the worst fucking movie I was ever strapped down to a chair and forced to endure. Thanks for that evil Viet Nam-like flashback HD. I’ll be in the bafroom plucking out me eyes if anyone needs me.
  
  Nov 25, 2008 at 1:51 pm rating: 0
- #5.4 HolyHamstersBatman
  
  Which film? Be Kind Rewind or The Muppet Movie? lol
  
  Nov 26, 2008 at 1:46 am rating: 0
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#6 Andy

Hey, yo, I’m still not a playa but you still a hata!

Nov 24, 2008 at 6:25 pm rating: +12

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#7 K Dog

Good is in the ear of the beholder.

Nov 24, 2008 at 6:26 pm rating: +2

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- #7.1 bellabeastie
  
  Wouldn’t that be the “behearer”?
  
  Just sayin’
  
  Nov 25, 2008 at 9:18 am rating: +4
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#8 Mishee

Young Billy just wanted somewhere to sit and practice his piano.. he doesn’t have one at home, and the kids in his neighborhood are quite cruel about his passion and he had to learn to defend himself just to take lessons…

As he wanders around town, hoping somewhere there is a piano that he can practice on, even to just bang out a few notes and experiment a little…

He heads over to the local supermarket, where for some reason they have a piano on display… but today there is something new.. a note… not just any note… a note forbidding him to play with the piano any more…

Dejected, Young Billy walks home with his dreams quashed and his spirits low…

“I guess I’ll just have to work on my song ‘Piano Man’ somewhere else”, he thinks to himself, “Damn them for thinking I am not entertaining!!”

Nov 24, 2008 at 6:29 pm rating: +25

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- #8.1 Mark
  
  He is the Entertainer… he just needs to cut it down to 3:05.
  
  Nov 24, 2008 at 6:52 pm rating: +10
- #8.2 MoxieHart
  
  Well, Anthony works at the grocery store, saving his pennies for someday. Maybe he’ll move the sign so Billy cna work.
  
  Nov 25, 2008 at 1:21 pm rating: +4
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#9 unfortunate names blog

i’d say most people with the balls to play random public pianos think they are good on some level so that first not couldn’t have been too effective.

Nov 24, 2008 at 7:01 pm rating: +1

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- #9.1 secondsout
  
  Not necessarily. I think that people know they don’t know anymore than Chopsticks, or the tune where you roll your knuckles on the three black keys and twice on the next black key, yet they play all they know anyway.
  
  Nov 24, 2008 at 8:14 pm rating: +2
- #9.2 bean
  
  I used to be good, that one time when I had a piano to practice on. But I learned by playing random pianos wherever I could find them. Eventually, someone will sit down and show you how to play something. It was the only way I could learn, and I HAFTA play. It brightens my soul.
  
  While I’m not playing random pianos, I’m playing guitar and wishing it were a piano.
  
  Nov 24, 2008 at 9:29 pm rating: +3
- #9.3 bellabeastie
  
  Like, this one time at band camp, one of the counselors showed me this piano, and I was -like in love!
  
  So now I have this job in the produce dept. of Krogers stocking lettuce and they won’t let me play anymore…. I may have to quit.
  
  Nov 25, 2008 at 9:27 am rating: +2
- #9.4 bellabeastie
  
  Someone told me that now Janet owns the Dunkin Donuts down the street and she LIKES piano music…. maybe I could get a job there…
  
  Nov 25, 2008 at 9:35 am rating: +1
- #9.5 ohREALLYfool
  
  I switched to be a piano major during my freshman year and since they only hand out keys to practice rooms to actual music majors, I had to practice on one of the baby grands in my dorm’s common room. Honestly, I was pretty good (you have to be to get into the school of music:) ) and people still would come into the room to study and tell me I had to get out so they could have quiet. I always managed to outlast them because most college kids prefer to listen to music a little more recent than 16th century piano music. There were plenty of common rooms without pianos for them to use.
  
  Nov 25, 2008 at 10:38 am rating: +2
- #9.6 T.U.M.
  
  >>But I learned by playing random pianos wherever I could find them. Eventually, someone will sit down and show you how to play something.<<
  
  That’s how John Lennon learned to play the harmonica.
  
  Nov 25, 2008 at 10:46 am rating: 0
- #9.7 bean
  
  nice. I practice harmonica at red lights That hasn’t helped me at all, btw, damn smoker’s lungs. Maybe if I was able to turn it into some awesome harmonica pipe thing, that would help…
  
  Nov 25, 2008 at 8:29 pm rating: 0
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#10 Canthz_B

She’s making a list, and checking it twice…

Nov 24, 2008 at 7:03 pm rating: +1

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#11 Mishee

Anyone else here wonder if it is Lisa Loopner who are playing these pianos? Cause if so, yes, I agree, ’cause she wasn’t very good…

Nov 24, 2008 at 7:10 pm rating: +3

reply to this comment
- #11.1 Ti O
  
  ” Oh Todd!”
  
  Nov 25, 2008 at 8:35 am rating: 0
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#12 Martin Heidegger

What are you looking at me for?

I am really good. Saintly even. I just happen to be shit at playing the piano.

Nov 24, 2008 at 7:22 pm rating: +7

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#13 JoelWhy

Signed,
Simon Cowell

Nov 24, 2008 at 8:02 pm rating: +19

reply to this comment
#14 bean

I can play the shit outta heart and soul! Let’s do it.

Nov 24, 2008 at 9:32 pm rating: +2

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#15 HolyHamstersBatman

Actually though, there were pianos in the common rooms of my dorms as well. The continued 3 am disturbances by those with alcohol-induced self-confidence resulted in our RA rigging up a rather complicated method of chaining down the keyboard lid and leaving a note to “Ask RA to unlock if you need to practice or entertain”. You’ll be happy to note that while this spared the rest of us, for her the disturbances were replaced by 3 am drunken knocks on her door on more than one occasion. Team I’m Gonna Play This Damn Piano Come Hell or High Water.

Nov 24, 2008 at 10:52 pm rating: +10

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#16 Canthz_B

When it comes right down to it, who wants to tell a gang of drunken Indiana frat boys that their playing isn’t actually good?

Nov 25, 2008 at 12:36 am rating: +1

reply to this comment
- #16.1 Holiday Djinn
  
  Druken sorority chicks who want to get laid?
  
  Nov 25, 2008 at 12:39 pm rating: +1
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#17 Canthz_B

Dear Schroeder,

I paid my tuition this semester, so I plan to play this piano until I master it…or your ears bleed.

Nov 25, 2008 at 12:55 am rating: +7

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- #17.1 AuntyBron
  
  Swing for the fences, CB - do both.
  
  Nov 25, 2008 at 1:20 am rating: 0
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#18 souldesqueeze

The first note absolutely destroyed me. I want it posted at Guitar Center.

Nov 25, 2008 at 3:37 am rating: +1

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#19 Megan

Team note-writer all the way.

Nov 25, 2008 at 4:17 am rating: +1

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#20 amy d

Ha ha! These are notes about ♫ notes! ♫

Nov 25, 2008 at 6:14 am rating: +10

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#21 rumblefish

Evil piano players… John Tesh comes to mind. He’s a pianist (pronounced penis).

Nov 25, 2008 at 6:59 am rating: +5

reply to this comment
- #21.1 claw71
  
  Legend has it John Tesh is hung like a horse. I tend to believe it because Connie Selleca sure isn’t complaining.
  
  Nov 25, 2008 at 9:15 am rating: +1
- #21.2 bellabeastie
  
  Oh Willbuur
  
  Nov 25, 2008 at 10:38 am rating: 0
- #21.3 MoxieHart
  
  Also, Yanni.
  
  Nov 25, 2008 at 1:24 pm rating: 0

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