Anyone for “Heart and Soul”?

November 24th, 2008 · 90 comments

“There are several common rooms in my dormitory at Indiana University, and most of them have pianos available for the students to play,” writes Jain in Bloomington.

“While I can empathize with this anonymous student’s frustration, possibly after hearing the third or fourth broken attempt at ‘Chopsticks’ in a single day, I’ve personally found the exit to be a more successful coping strategy than leaving bitchy notes on a baby grand. But hey, different strokes…”

Please DO NOT play the piano unless you are actually good. Thanks!

Meanwhile, Dan spotted a supermarket in Sterling, Virginia that took the above note-writer’s sentiment just a half-step further.

Piano is for entertainment only. Please do not play. Thanks

related:  I used to be your biggest fan

extra credit: pearls before breakfast [washingtonpost.com]

FILED UNDER: college life · Indiana · music · noise · Northern Virginia · Virginia


90 responses so far ↓

  • #1   LES

    ….and “No Stairway.”

    Nov 24, 2008 at 5:45 pm   rating: 25  small thumbs up

    • #1.1   Mishee bang

      Denied!

      Nov 24, 2008 at 6:06 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.2   Hod

      …but Captain and Tenille is acceptable.

      Nov 24, 2008 at 9:29 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.3   HolyHamstersBatman bang

      Thanks!

      ANDREW

      ps: Buy me a Cosmo and I’ll let you touch my stuff.

      Nov 24, 2008 at 10:28 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.4   Ti O bang

      An appletini thankyouverymuch! :wink:

      Nov 25, 2008 at 8:24 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.5   You Suck at Craigslist

      The worst “I don’t play piano but I play this” item would have to be the keyboard intro to “Jump” by Van Halen.

      Nov 25, 2008 at 1:25 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.6   Frankie bang

      Actually I believe the worst is “The Entertainer”. You actually can “get enough of that.”

      *gigglebrax*

      sorry Mark. :(

      Nov 25, 2008 at 1:48 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #2   Mark bang

    Freebird!!

    Nov 24, 2008 at 5:48 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

     
  • #3   Mishee bang

    I can’t play “Thanks”?

    Can I at least play “Your Welcome”?

    Nov 24, 2008 at 6:16 pm   rating: 11  small thumbs up

     
  • #4   secondsout bang

    The piano is for entertainment, so don’t play it? How can a piano entertain anyone without someone playing it?

    Nov 24, 2008 at 6:19 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

    • #4.1   HolyHamstersBatman bang

      perhaps its one of those trick pianos that plays by itself? Either that or it starts doing a strip tease after you stare at it long enough. Hence the no touching. You have to be privy to the “back room” for that.

      Nov 24, 2008 at 10:32 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.2   maggie

      You mean a player piano?
      That’s not a trick piano.

      Nov 25, 2008 at 12:28 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.3   HolyHamstersBatman bang

      Ah yes, the ones where the keys move without someone pushing them. I had no idea what they were called. And the only time I’ve seen them used is when they are meant to “trick” people..aka, a haunted house, so its a ghost playing..you get the idea. No need to get snippy.

      Nov 25, 2008 at 12:50 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.4   AuntyBron

      The Lobby – excuse me – ATRIUM of one the the local hospitals (They’re a bit pretentious in that part of the county) has a programmed player baby grand piano. It just starts playing. Weird.

      Nov 25, 2008 at 1:16 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.5   HolyHamstersBatman bang

      Yeah, I think the concept is just a bit strange. Did the hospital think they were just fancy enough to have a real piano versus music over a speaker system, but that having an actual pianist was just a little TOO fancy pants? Which then begs the question..why was there a piano in a supermarket? Kroger thought they were just fancy enough to have a piano, but not one that played, either on its own or manually?

      Nov 25, 2008 at 1:37 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.6   Canthz_B bang

      Given the amounts hospitals charge nowadays, you’d think they’d have a live orchestra performing in the Atrium!

      Nov 25, 2008 at 1:40 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.7   Woman on the Verge bang

      Um, let’s see. Entertaining without actually playing… Well, you could look at the pretty black and white pattern. Yeah, not so entertaining. Admire the clean lines? Nope.
      Wait a minute! Is that thing even real? It looks like it’s made of cardboard! Ah ha! That is entertaining!

      Nov 25, 2008 at 7:31 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.8   Ti O bang

      “You suck, your piano playing sucks, we want entertainment.”

      I see that the keyboard is on top of a disklavier which basically is a digital player piano setup. The one on top is fake sitting on the disklavier upright.

      Nov 25, 2008 at 8:34 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.9   Trick E Dick

      HolyHamsters, the reproducing piano was NOT designed as a haunted house gag.
      It is, however, played by ghosts. Just so you know.

      Nov 25, 2008 at 12:07 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.10   GhostWriter bang

      The Reproducing Piano?
      Is that Liberace’s version of The Sorcerer’s Apprentice?

      Nov 25, 2008 at 12:30 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.11   hamburke

      I know where that piano in the supermarket is (20 minutes from here). They have a wine bar that is open in the evening and the piano is up there and is played by a tuxedo-clad person when the wine bar is open. It is a pretentious supermarket but I go b/c they have a free 30-min child care for children over 3, excellent produce and meat at reasonable prices and a sandwich shop (and sushi shop but I don’t go there but it speaks to the pretentiousness).

      Nov 25, 2008 at 1:37 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.12   Amanda

      “You mean a player piano?
      That’s not a trick piano.”

      Good point. After all, we all know that a player might pick up a trick, but would never, ever be one.

      Nov 25, 2008 at 3:55 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.13   HelloDeli

      Hamburke, don’t hate on Wegmans! That place is awesome! I know and love that supermarket…

      Nov 25, 2008 at 5:18 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.14   hamburke

      yeah, and the Sterling Wegmans is way more awesome than the Fairfax one that’s 5 minutes away. But I still feel weird going in there EVERY TIME like I’m somehow unqualified to be there.

      Nov 25, 2008 at 8:47 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.15   HolyHamstersBatman bang

      You can’t fool me with the ghosties Trick E Dick.. I know its really a trained gerbil running about inside pushing the mallets. So there!

      Nov 26, 2008 at 1:41 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #5   secondsout bang

    What if you’re really good… at playing Chopsticks?

    Nov 24, 2008 at 6:21 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

    • #5.1   AuntyBron

      Sout – ain’t nobody good at playing Chopsticks.

      Nov 25, 2008 at 1:16 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.2   Holiday Djinn

      I’ve heard tell that Fats Waller made a career out of it. :-D

      Nov 25, 2008 at 12:36 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.3   Frankie bang

      That was absolutely the worst fucking movie I was ever strapped down to a chair and forced to endure. Thanks for that evil Viet Nam-like flashback HD. I’ll be in the bafroom plucking out me eyes if anyone needs me.

      Nov 25, 2008 at 1:51 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.4   HolyHamstersBatman bang

      Which film? Be Kind Rewind or The Muppet Movie? lol

      Nov 26, 2008 at 1:46 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #6   Andy

    Hey, yo, I’m still not a playa but you still a hata!

    Nov 24, 2008 at 6:25 pm   rating: 12  small thumbs up

     
  • #7   K Dog

    Good is in the ear of the beholder.

    Nov 24, 2008 at 6:26 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #7.1   bellabeastie

      Wouldn’t that be the “behearer”?

      Just sayin’

      Nov 25, 2008 at 9:18 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #8   Mishee bang

    Young Billy just wanted somewhere to sit and practice his piano.. he doesn’t have one at home, and the kids in his neighborhood are quite cruel about his passion and he had to learn to defend himself just to take lessons…

    As he wanders around town, hoping somewhere there is a piano that he can practice on, even to just bang out a few notes and experiment a little…

    He heads over to the local supermarket, where for some reason they have a piano on display… but today there is something new.. a note… not just any note… a note forbidding him to play with the piano any more…

    Dejected, Young Billy walks home with his dreams quashed and his spirits low…

    “I guess I’ll just have to work on my song ‘Piano Man’ somewhere else”, he thinks to himself, “Damn them for thinking I am not entertaining!!”

    Nov 24, 2008 at 6:29 pm   rating: 25  small thumbs up

    • #8.1   Mark bang

      He is the Entertainer… he just needs to cut it down to 3:05.

      Nov 24, 2008 at 6:52 pm   rating: 10  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.2   MoxieHart

      Well, Anthony works at the grocery store, saving his pennies for someday. Maybe he’ll move the sign so Billy cna work.

      Nov 25, 2008 at 1:21 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #9   unfortunate names blog

    i’d say most people with the balls to play random public pianos think they are good on some level so that first not couldn’t have been too effective.

    Nov 24, 2008 at 7:01 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #9.1   secondsout bang

      Not necessarily. I think that people know they don’t know anymore than Chopsticks, or the tune where you roll your knuckles on the three black keys and twice on the next black key, yet they play all they know anyway.

      Nov 24, 2008 at 8:14 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.2   bean

      I used to be good, that one time when I had a piano to practice on. But I learned by playing random pianos wherever I could find them. Eventually, someone will sit down and show you how to play something. It was the only way I could learn, and I HAFTA play. It brightens my soul.

      While I’m not playing random pianos, I’m playing guitar and wishing it were a piano.

      Nov 24, 2008 at 9:29 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.3   bellabeastie

      Like, this one time at band camp, one of the counselors showed me this piano, and I was -like in love!

      So now I have this job in the produce dept. of Krogers stocking lettuce and they won’t let me play anymore…. I may have to quit.

      Nov 25, 2008 at 9:27 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.4   bellabeastie

      Someone told me that now Janet owns the Dunkin Donuts down the street and she LIKES piano music…. maybe I could get a job there…

      Nov 25, 2008 at 9:35 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.5   ohREALLYfool

      I switched to be a piano major during my freshman year and since they only hand out keys to practice rooms to actual music majors, I had to practice on one of the baby grands in my dorm’s common room. Honestly, I was pretty good (you have to be to get into the school of music:) ) and people still would come into the room to study and tell me I had to get out so they could have quiet. I always managed to outlast them because most college kids prefer to listen to music a little more recent than 16th century piano music. There were plenty of common rooms without pianos for them to use.

      Nov 25, 2008 at 10:38 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.6   T.U.M.

      >>But I learned by playing random pianos wherever I could find them. Eventually, someone will sit down and show you how to play something.<<

      That’s how John Lennon learned to play the harmonica.

      Nov 25, 2008 at 10:46 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.7   bean

      nice. I practice harmonica at red lights :) That hasn’t helped me at all, btw, damn smoker’s lungs. Maybe if I was able to turn it into some awesome harmonica pipe thing, that would help…

      Nov 25, 2008 at 8:29 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #10   Canthz_B bang

    She’s making a list, and checking it twice…

    Nov 24, 2008 at 7:03 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #11   Mishee bang

    Anyone else here wonder if it is Lisa Loopner who are playing these pianos? Cause if so, yes, I agree, ’cause she wasn’t very good…

    Nov 24, 2008 at 7:10 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #11.1   Ti O bang

      ” Oh Todd!”

      Nov 25, 2008 at 8:35 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #12   Martin Heidegger

    What are you looking at me for?

    I am really good. Saintly even. I just happen to be shit at playing the piano.

    Nov 24, 2008 at 7:22 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

     
  • #13   JoelWhy

    Signed,
    Simon Cowell

    Nov 24, 2008 at 8:02 pm   rating: 19  small thumbs up

     
  • #14   bean

    I can play the shit outta heart and soul! Let’s do it.

    Nov 24, 2008 at 9:32 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #15   HolyHamstersBatman bang

    Actually though, there were pianos in the common rooms of my dorms as well. The continued 3 am disturbances by those with alcohol-induced self-confidence resulted in our RA rigging up a rather complicated method of chaining down the keyboard lid and leaving a note to “Ask RA to unlock if you need to practice or entertain”. You’ll be happy to note that while this spared the rest of us, for her the disturbances were replaced by 3 am drunken knocks on her door on more than one occasion. Team I’m Gonna Play This Damn Piano Come Hell or High Water.

    Nov 24, 2008 at 10:52 pm   rating: 10  small thumbs up

     
  • #16   Canthz_B bang

    When it comes right down to it, who wants to tell a gang of drunken Indiana frat boys that their playing isn’t actually good?

    Nov 25, 2008 at 12:36 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #16.1   Holiday Djinn

      Druken sorority chicks who want to get laid?

      Nov 25, 2008 at 12:39 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #17   Canthz_B bang

    Dear Schroeder,

    I paid my tuition this semester, so I plan to play this piano until I master it…or your ears bleed.

    Nov 25, 2008 at 12:55 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

    • #17.1   AuntyBron

      Swing for the fences, CB – do both.

      Nov 25, 2008 at 1:20 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #18   souldesqueeze

    The first note absolutely destroyed me. I want it posted at Guitar Center.

    Nov 25, 2008 at 3:37 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #19   Megan

    Team note-writer all the way.

    Nov 25, 2008 at 4:17 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #20   amy d bang

    Ha ha! These are notes about ♫ notes! ♫

    Nov 25, 2008 at 6:14 am   rating: 10  small thumbs up

     
  • #21   rumblefish

    Evil piano players… John Tesh comes to mind. He’s a pianist (pronounced penis).

    Nov 25, 2008 at 6:59 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

    • #21.1   claw71 bang

      Legend has it John Tesh is hung like a horse. I tend to believe it because Connie Selleca sure isn’t complaining.

      Nov 25, 2008 at 9:15 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #21.2   bellabeastie

      Oh Willbuur

      Nov 25, 2008 at 10:38 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #21.3   MoxieHart

      Also, Yanni.

      Nov 25, 2008 at 1:24 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #21.4   agatha christie

      John Tesh has a nightly radio show that I have the misfortune to listen to on a somewhat regular basis. He plays light adult alternative interspersed with random bits of knowledge that I’m sure he looks up on Wikipedia while the music is playing. His advice sucks.

      Nov 25, 2008 at 10:51 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #22   Woman on the Verge bang

    Why do I picture a kid at the piano in the first picture taking that sign to heart? He will sit there for hours trying to pick out Stairway to Heaven by ear while asking passerby if he is good so he knows if he can continue. “Excuse me, is this good? Can you just check yes or no?”

    Nov 25, 2008 at 7:33 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #23   claw71 bang

    Sadly, even if somebody actually can play the piano, the beat up old relics that you normally find in the common areas of a college dorm are so badly out of tune Frederick Fucking Chopin wouldn’t be able to wrest a true note out of one.

    Nov 25, 2008 at 9:13 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

    • #23.1   HolyHamstersBatman bang

      Fuck Chopin, he’s got nothing on my college brethren. That’s half the fun anyway, seeing which key will ACTUALLY play the note you want.

      Nov 25, 2008 at 10:14 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #23.2   Frankie bang

      I think I have a friend who tunes pianos for a living, but he’ll probably come over to do it while you’re at work and then he’ll just fuck your wife. I don’t know if he’d go to frat houses though.

      Or maybe that was all just something I saw on an episode of House-Wife Fantasies.

      Nov 25, 2008 at 1:58 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #23.3   Frankie bang

      Wow. I can’t believe I posted that. It was almost completely irrelevant. I should probably slow down one Tom Collins so early in the day, but it is almost turkey day so……. Salut!

      Nov 25, 2008 at 2:00 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #23.4   Should Be Working

      Tombstone! One of my favorite movies!

      Do I get a cookie?

      Nov 25, 2008 at 3:09 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #23.5   NoExit

      I’m your huckelberry…

      Nov 25, 2008 at 4:46 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #23.6   Cass

      “Frederick Fucking Chopin wouldn’t be able to wrest a true note out of one.”

      I don’t care how good Frederick is, it’s kind of hard to play piano while fucking anyone, Chopin or otherwise.

      Nov 25, 2008 at 6:51 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #23.7   Canthz_B bang

      That’s en-ter-tain-ment!:-P

      Nov 25, 2008 at 10:37 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #24   biscuit

    Pianos are not for entertainment. They are are devices of torture and terrorism.

    Nov 25, 2008 at 9:33 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #24.1   bellabeastie

      W.M.D.’s –.

      Suited only for Wandering Druid Musicians.

      Pagans Need Not Apply.

      Nov 25, 2008 at 10:11 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #24.2   Bunnee

      My thoughts exactly! I mean, either the listener or the player is getting SOME entertainment out of it, right? If a piano is NOT for entertainment, then what is it for? I guess the piano wires could be used to strangle the idiot note writer, but that’s entertainment for only a select few….

      Nov 25, 2008 at 10:15 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #25   GhostWriter bang

    Charlie hired the old coot for shoppers’ holiday entertainment, but all he ever did was practice the same boring arpeggios over and over.

    So he told Weisan the Japanese bagboy to put up a sign; big enough so the old coot could see it.

    Piano is for, Please Do Entertainment! (not play only) – Thanks!

    Nov 25, 2008 at 9:37 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #25.1   bob

      Oh Plerr….

      Nov 25, 2008 at 11:54 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #26   GhostWriter bang

    The entertainment comes when a roadrunner speeds up to the keyboard, pecks out a simple melody with his beak, but keeps missing the last note. Then a coyote stomps out from behind a cactus, plays the melody correctly, and the whole thing explodes!

    Nov 25, 2008 at 9:56 am   rating: 8  small thumbs up

    • #26.1   AuntyBron

      We used to do that to my choir teacher in high school. The piano was right outside of her office. She HAD to come out and play the last note or she couldn’t get back to her paperwork.

      Nov 26, 2008 at 2:22 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #27   Canthz_B bang

    You haven’t really been entertained until you’ve seen the tap-dancing piano.
    Please don’t play it.

    Nov 25, 2008 at 11:26 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #27.1   Frankie bang

      Is that the piano Tom Hanks played in the movie BIG? Cause that was actually pretty damn cool. Um. You know. If you’re at all into that sort of thing.

      Nov 25, 2008 at 2:02 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #27.2   agatha christie

      Oh Frankie, I definitely was and still am into that sort of thing.

      Nov 25, 2008 at 10:54 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #27.3   AuntyBron

      That was the best part of the movie.

      Nov 26, 2008 at 2:23 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #28   zorinlynx bang

    I was at a convention (MFF) last year at a hotel, and folks were having a blast playing the piano in the lobby. They were playing all kinds of fun things like the theme to Portal, video game music (it was a geeky con!) and more.

    The piano was the center of fun and there were frequently groups around it enjoying themselves and playing.

    The next day the hotel put a “DO NOT PLAY THE PIANO” sign on it, therefore ruining everyone’s fun.

    It’s amazing how an establishment can put a piano out there for people to enjoy, then suddenly decide folks are enjoying it too much and ban us from playing it.

    At least this con is not at that hotel anymore…

    Nov 25, 2008 at 11:49 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

    • #28.1   secondsout bang

      MFF convention? You mean Male and 2 Females group sex? Awesome! I want to go to a convention like that. Just beware if the 2 females come with 1 cup.

      Nov 25, 2008 at 5:24 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #29   Mister Pain

    How would banning people from playing the piano ruin the fun at a MFF group sex convention? Sounds like management were doing you all a favour. “Enough with the sing-a-long ice-breaking, you kids just get a-shaggin!”

    Nov 26, 2008 at 2:15 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #30   jamar

    2 comments-
    -They left the floppy drive exposed on the second piano. All sorts of possibilities there (I made a floppy that plays the Super Mario song that works on those kinds of pianos).

    -Mmm, spinach. (But if you don’t watch a particular Japanese TV show wou won’t get this joke, made in reference to the post title)

    Dec 7, 2008 at 9:57 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #31   Claire

    I go to IU!! This made my day… and it’s so true, too! Next time someone is playing terribly at 3am in the lounge directly underneath my dorm room, I’ll know what to do :)

    Dec 15, 2008 at 11:48 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #32   Chelsea

    That’s at my grocery store! It’s a player piano, but I’ve never heard it actually playing.

    Dec 17, 2008 at 4:20 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #33   psycho_hamster

    Mamma says I’m the best!

    Feb 4, 2009 at 2:37 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     

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