Happy Thxgiving, everyone!
related: It takes a “genius” to come up with a potluck theme like this one
FILED UNDER: holiday spirit · office · party planning committee · San Francisco · Thanksgiving
Dish: lemon jello with raw cabbage, pineapple, carrot and green pepper.
What? It’s my mom’s favorite jello recipe! I can too cook!
Nov 27, 2008 at 11:50 am rating: 28
Dish: pizza topped with dryer lint, gum and a fart
Nov 27, 2008 at 12:49 pm rating: 21
I actually love to cook, and oh the various Russian dishes that ran through my mind as I saw this. Liver and onions! Jellied beef tongue!! Beet and garlic salad!!! Lazy stuffed cabbage, heated to perfection in Clare’s microwave!!!! The opportunities are endless, I tell ya.
Nov 27, 2008 at 12:58 pm rating: 8
It all sounds so…well, I just can’t make up my mind which sounds tastier than the others!
Nov 27, 2008 at 1:27 pm rating: 1
I can’t cook, so I won’t try. I’ll just bring Mongolian Barbecue hats. And Hot Pockets. Maybe some bread from Outback (just don’t ask where I got it). Or, maybe I can cook some fish in the microwave? Perhaps some door cheese, or a library french fry.
Nov 27, 2008 at 2:45 pm rating: 30
I’ll bring the pickled pigs feet and the horseradish dip with ground bay shrimp.
Nov 28, 2008 at 9:18 am rating: 1
I am always good for paper plates and cups.
Nov 28, 2008 at 4:38 pm rating: 1
I’ll bring some peppermint tea so we can sprinkle it in all the food.
Nov 29, 2008 at 10:39 am rating: 0
Not Hall Monitor
I am always good for shameless website whoring
Please Notice Me!
Nov 29, 2008 at 5:26 pm rating: 19
This is not cooking class, dammit! We don’t want your crappy experiments here.
Nov 27, 2008 at 11:51 am rating: 2
Is this really PA?
Or is this a (unintended) rude way to be nice, and tell people that they don’t have to worry if they can’t cook
Nov 27, 2008 at 11:58 am rating: 4
If this was my place of work I would be very tempted to go to the store and buy the worst food I could find for the potluck…. Pickled eggs perhaps…. or cold canned soup. I am sure someone else can come up with something worse
Nov 27, 2008 at 12:15 pm rating: 1
Spam. Canned corned beef hash. Salami snack sticks. Velveeta.
Nov 27, 2008 at 12:47 pm rating: 2
kimchee, sun-baked bologna, chicken ice cream.
Nov 27, 2008 at 12:53 pm rating: 4
I’d totally bring those pickled pig feet that I always see in supermarkets. I always wondered who buys this stuff, now I know – Clare’s coworkers! Good for them!
Nov 27, 2008 at 1:04 pm rating: 6
Sweaty cheese and dusty ice cream.
Nov 28, 2008 at 9:19 am rating: 1
Dammit, Goldie, I was gonna bring the pickled hog’s trotters! Although heart and liver are also good. Mmmmm… Offal…
Nov 28, 2008 at 11:22 pm rating: 1
anglophile: Spam. Canned corned beef hash. Salami snack sticks. Velveeta.
That sounds awfully close to one of my favorite recipes:
You will need Spam, crackers (such as Ritz, but for that extra cheesy flavor you could use Cheez-Its), and a can of E-Z Cheez.
Cut the Spam into cubes. Place each Spam cube onto a cracker. Insert the nozzle of the E-Z Cheez can into the Spam cube and inject a good squirt of E-Z Cheez. For a decorative touch, add a little puff of E-Z Cheez on top.
Suitable for any occasion when you won’t be forced to eat the dish you brought.
Nov 29, 2008 at 8:43 am rating: 2
jackie, you have forced me to reveal my family’s Recipe of Shame. It’s even worse than the jello.
You take a can of Spam and you grind it up in a meat grinder along with a brick of Velveeta. Dice up an onion and a hard-boiled egg. Mix it all together with Miracle Whip. (For maximum white trash value it must be Miracle Whip, not mayo.) Spread on cheap-o grocery store hamburger bun halves. Broil. Spamburgers! Serve with Fritos, dill pickles and RC cola.
Ah, the childhood memories!
Nov 29, 2008 at 12:58 pm rating: 5
‘Glo, I think that’s served in the Springer green room.
Nov 29, 2008 at 3:45 pm rating: 2
I think I can bring some Scrapple and head cheese.
Nov 29, 2008 at 3:56 pm rating: 2
You’ve been to Philly if you’re throwin’ around scrapple-
Nov 29, 2008 at 9:33 pm rating: 2
I can’t imagine doing anything else with it.
But, you’re close…I’m a Jersey Boy.
Nov 29, 2008 at 10:04 pm rating: 1
Now, if you can actually name what goes IN Scrapple, you win the prize!!!
bonus points if you know why it has it’s own season…
Nov 30, 2008 at 12:38 am rating: 1
lol…I think someone has had WAAAAYYY too much gross macaroni and cheese with the little hot dogs in it….
Nov 27, 2008 at 11:59 am rating: 3
Or maybe food poisoning. That’s why the ‘don’t try’ is bolded.
Nov 27, 2008 at 12:48 pm rating: 8
They get marks for actually using clip art, but I think clip art of stinky fish would have more effect… maybe a pink stinky fish?
This note is missing something and they missed an opportunity to crank it up a notch…. As I was reading I kept expecting to find something about ‘stinky’ foods or certain ethnic foods being unacceptable.. B plus.
Nov 27, 2008 at 12:07 pm rating: 2
Just don’t ask what that “Special House Sauce” is.
Nov 27, 2008 at 12:09 pm rating: 1
i’ll give you a hint…if you “eat” it right, you might get pregnant.
Nov 27, 2008 at 12:51 pm rating: 4
I thought the “special sauce” was Thousand Island… :c
Nov 28, 2008 at 11:26 pm rating: 0
Why is that pumpkin rotting? Are they leaving their jack-o-lanterns of Halloweens past out on their lawn like Homer Simpson?
Nov 27, 2008 at 12:33 pm rating: 1
Woman on the Verge
Okay, I wanted to hyperlink this, but I don’t know how so I will pray to the Thanksgiving PAN fairy that it just happens. I think the clipart is the dessert:
And Happy Thanksgiving everyone!
Nov 27, 2008 at 1:22 pm rating: 2
I love Cakewrecks, those melting pumpkin cakes are pretty terrifying.
Nov 27, 2008 at 1:30 pm rating: 2
Here you go woman on the verge!
Nov 27, 2008 at 4:32 pm rating: 1
Oh cakewrecks…how I do adore thee.
Cupcake Cakes for the win!
Nov 27, 2008 at 5:30 pm rating: 1
Woman on the Verge
Thanks, fantasy… I appreciate it! Did you see some of those turkey cakes?
Nov 27, 2008 at 8:26 pm rating: 0
I’m actually doing a potluck sign-up sheet right now, for next week. Look out for submissions from the Midwest Kerry! I know I must’ve done something wrong already, because I cannot get anyone to sign the damn thing.
Nov 27, 2008 at 1:01 pm rating: 1
That lumpy gravy was fucking delicious!
Nov 27, 2008 at 1:21 pm rating: 0
*dons thanksgiving potluck hat*
I’m a pilgrim!
And if you can’t punctuate, don’t write notes.
Nov 27, 2008 at 1:27 pm rating: 4
Close, but you missed a bit:
“We need someone to take charge of the Thanksgiving potluck. If you can’t punctuate, DON’T TRY.”
Nov 28, 2008 at 11:03 am rating: 2
At first, I thought this was the note sent out by the school I work at, which advised, “If you don’t bring anything, don’t embarrass yourself by coming.”
Nov 27, 2008 at 2:12 pm rating: 20
Holy cow! They didn’t?! Ah, man, you should’ve submitted it!
Nov 27, 2008 at 8:56 pm rating: 0
TOTALLY! Someone’s got resentment issues, eh?
Nov 28, 2008 at 5:03 pm rating: 0
I guess “If you can’t cook, don’t worry, store bought items are more than welcome” would’ve been just too polite.
Nov 27, 2008 at 3:13 pm rating: 17
appetizer: soda crackers with sardines in mustard.
Nov 27, 2008 at 4:35 pm rating: 0
Sue Do Nim
Ok, so I won’t cook. Mind if I play the piano?
Nov 27, 2008 at 5:02 pm rating: 13
RunBarbara did Clare get your job?
Nov 27, 2008 at 5:15 pm rating: 1
apparently its not the tought that counts.
Nov 27, 2008 at 5:20 pm rating: 1
haha. With a name like ‘potluck’, I’d be tempted to cook up a ganja cake to throw into the mix and send some lucky person astral planing.
Nov 27, 2008 at 7:36 pm rating: 4
You are cordially invited to my party next week.
Please bring lots of cake.
Nov 27, 2008 at 8:57 pm rating: 12
Pasta generously sprinkled with the insides of my PedEgg.
Nov 27, 2008 at 8:02 pm rating: 9
I threw up in my mouth a little at this. Good job!
Nov 28, 2008 at 9:23 am rating: 3
I thought it tasted more like Toe Jam than Mozzarella!
Nov 28, 2008 at 9:35 am rating: 1
Woman on the Verge
I usually have a strong stomach but that damn Ped Egg gets me every time. Ewww…
Nov 28, 2008 at 10:17 am rating: 2
I think I’m going to have nightmares now. Damn PedEggs… What a terrible name too. It makes my skin crawl.
Nov 28, 2008 at 11:03 pm rating: 1
OMG, did Casey get fired and replaced by Clare?!?
Nov 27, 2008 at 8:55 pm rating: 1
It was Sandra not Casey.
She changed her name to Clare, but not only that – she also found the CAPS key.
Nov 27, 2008 at 8:59 pm rating: 0
I think she means Casey being the person who Sandra always said to “see” in response to questions about a posted note. And Casey=RunBarbara…. hence my question above. We’re all on the same page here… thxSandra definitely wrote this potluck list.
Nov 27, 2008 at 10:32 pm rating: 1
I will be bringing some co-joined kittens. Done to perfection. Thanks.
Nov 27, 2008 at 9:25 pm rating: 8
You mean quick-frozen kittens? I heard President’s Choice is picking up that line for 2009.
Nov 28, 2008 at 5:05 pm rating: 2
That potluck meal was fucking delicious!
Say, can I wear the unitard? Huh? Huh? Can I?
Nov 28, 2008 at 5:46 am rating: 0
Woman on the Verge
Um… Alfred? Here it is. Try to ignore the smell, the dripping mucous, and those dark streaks. Oh, and here’s a prescription for antibiotics.
Nov 28, 2008 at 9:21 am rating: 3
I dont care, that potluck meal was fucking delicious!
Can I wear the unitard now?
Nov 29, 2008 at 1:14 am rating: 0
Good Lord! It makes it worthwhile moving to the United States to go to her party.
Nov 28, 2008 at 7:14 am rating: 0
I’ll bring the haggis.
Nov 28, 2008 at 8:12 am rating: 2
I agree, if you can’t cook DON”T TRY.
Team Don’t Try
Nov 28, 2008 at 9:15 am rating: 1
Woman on the Verge
I’m bringing my secret recipe for gunk. It looks like hell but tastes fucking delicious.
Nov 28, 2008 at 9:22 am rating: 2
i personally like the “let clare know if you will not attend” as in, even if you don’t sign up, you are assumed to be coming unless you tell them otherwise. i pity the people who don’t ever see the sign-up list at all, and the PA that will rain down on them for not anti-RSVPing and then having the gall not to show up
Nov 28, 2008 at 12:05 pm rating: 12
looks like Casey in human resources needed an assistant and had to hire Clare.
Nov 28, 2008 at 3:35 pm rating: 0
What? Being thankful for people showing up to your social event and bringing food to celebrate Thanksgiving? Fuck that shit!
Nov 28, 2008 at 11:56 pm rating: 0
“Store bought items are more than welcome.”
Funny she doesn’t specify what type of store bought items she welcomes. My family would assume this meant a bottle of Black Velvet and loose change for a game of Butt Darts.
Nov 29, 2008 at 7:32 pm rating: 3
“Thanksgiving Pot Luck” is an oxymoron.
Nov 29, 2008 at 9:32 pm rating: 3
I’ve been thinking about it, and I’ve decided that pot lucks are unnatural.
Most people don’t even look into other people’s shopping carts, why would they want to eat other people’s food?
Nov 29, 2008 at 11:09 pm rating: 0
CB darling, I spend half my life looking into YOUR shopping cart. Why else did you think I was stalking you?
I just NEED TO KNOW WHAT IS IN YOUR “CART”.
Nov 30, 2008 at 5:26 pm rating: 1
It must be my hard salami, Saysh.
Nov 30, 2008 at 6:41 pm rating: 1
Nov 30, 2008 at 6:44 pm rating: 1
Uh, oh…now I’m in a pickle!
Nov 30, 2008 at 7:15 pm rating: 1
CB darlin.. don’t let ‘glo tease you. I’ve seen it.. and it most DEFINITELY is a salami!! But, you know, I like pickles too *wink*
Nov 30, 2008 at 8:17 pm rating: 1
I was hoping Glo would at least go with dill, but it is a bit chilly…
Nov 30, 2008 at 8:33 pm rating: 1
I would strongly advise against ordering the clam chowder.
Dec 1, 2008 at 3:41 am rating: 0
Shau-dere? Shau-dere? It’s “chowdah”! Say it right!
Dec 1, 2008 at 12:42 pm rating: 2
Pot lucks seem so hateful and impersonal now. I don’t know if it’s because all these are in an office setting or if THX Sandra has corrupted me.
Mar 12, 2009 at 6:29 pm rating: 0
— The Beast Among Us
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You call that punctuation?