and i’m singing “uh oh” on a friday night

November 30th, 2008 · 72 comments

how’d you like to be flatmates with dianne in london? cos i’m thinking there just might be an opening soon…

related: clarifying motion #2

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FILED UNDER: bathroom · drizzunk · hygiene · london · roommates · spitting · u.k.

72 responses so far ↓

#1 Tee

i heart moothwash

Nov 30, 2008 at 8:48 pm rating: +12

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- #1.1 anglophile
  
  It’s perfect for those times my meeth get that not-so-fresh feeling.
  
  Nov 30, 2008 at 9:08 pm rating: +27
- #1.2 secondsout
  
  Maybe she’s Canadian. After she has been oot and aboot drinking, she uses the moothwash. That could be the case, but I doot it.
  
  Dec 1, 2008 at 12:59 am rating: +24
- #1.3 snee
  
  get hosed, eh!
  
  Dec 1, 2008 at 2:49 am rating: +4
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#2 Canthz_B

Mouthwash is a long way to go to avoid liquor taxes, but at least no one can call him a smelly drunk.

Nov 30, 2008 at 8:55 pm rating: +4

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- #2.1 Lilly
  
  For some reason your comment reminds me of the alcoholic woman on an episode of Intervention who drank bottles of Costco size mouthwash. *shudders*
  
  Dec 1, 2008 at 12:39 pm rating: +1
- #2.2 Canthz_B
  
  That’s still better than Kitty Dukakis’ Windex Happy Hours!
  
  Dec 1, 2008 at 1:12 pm rating: +2
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#3 Canthz_B

Our writer is a recycler. Why, even his/her mouthwash is Green!

Nov 30, 2008 at 8:57 pm rating: +6

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#4 eddy

Well, at least we know the answer to the eternal question with Dianne.

Nov 30, 2008 at 8:59 pm rating: +8

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- #4.1 Sue Do Nim
  
  She doesn’t swallow?
  
  Dec 1, 2008 at 12:15 am rating: +1
- #4.2 fink
  
  she doesn’t swallow when she’s drunk, at the very least
  
  Dec 1, 2008 at 12:40 am rating: +2
- #4.3 snee
  
  but, does she spit the spunk back in the punk?
  
  yep, whole new question.
  
  Dec 1, 2008 at 3:04 am rating: +7
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#5 Wade

If that’s the mouthwash bottle in front of the note, I have a feeling that saliva will have little effect on it, since it looks like it will expire in the year 290,511.

Nov 30, 2008 at 9:09 pm rating: +8

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- #5.1 Canthz_B
  
  If that’s the mouthwash, we’re talking about some wicked halitosis!
  
  Nov 30, 2008 at 9:21 pm rating: +2
- #5.2 nasoccermom
  
  I’m not sure I agree with you a hundred percent on your police work there Wade. The bottle clearly expires in the year 278A.
  
  Nov 30, 2008 at 9:30 pm rating: +14
- #5.3 Wade
  
  Maybe, nasoccermom. But I think that is the lot number.
  
  It could be that it expires on the 29th of May, 2011, but that seems precise to the point of anal retentive.
  
  Then again, the English are nothing if not precise.
  
  Nov 30, 2008 at 9:35 pm rating: +3
- #5.4 fink
  
  I’m pretty sure that’s a bottle of Robitussin. Mouthwash is behind the note… looks to be blue Listerine.
  
  Dec 1, 2008 at 12:42 am rating: +3
- #5.5 Canthz_B
  
  It is Robitussin, and lot number is above expiration date on their labels.
  
  Not that I’m AR, I just happen to have a bottle on my night stand.
  Not an exact match, mind you, but close enough. to match the “EXP” marking to the photo.
  
  Dec 1, 2008 at 1:29 am rating: +1
- #5.6 anglophile
  
  Oh, CB, if you’re that desperate, I’ll send you a case of Ripple or something. Please, please, don’t drink yourself to sleep with Robitussin.
  
  Dec 1, 2008 at 4:56 am rating: +8
- #5.7 Canthz_B
  
  I really miss the old Vicks Formula 44 w/codeine.
  It made you dream in Technicolor.
  
  Dec 1, 2008 at 1:17 pm rating: +4
- #5.8 Clumber
  
  No, dear. It was always YOU that makes us dream in technicolor.
  
  The Vicks +codeine just makes it difficult to remember….
  
  Dec 2, 2008 at 9:56 am rating: 0
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#6 Sue Do Nim

Maybe the person whom uses the mouthwash spits in it, too.

Nov 30, 2008 at 9:50 pm rating: +23

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#7 Mishee

Ewww, that’s not even really mouthwash, either. That looks like this nasty prescription shit that my husband got from the dentist after a root canal.

Who would use that willingly???

Nov 30, 2008 at 10:05 pm rating: +1

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- #7.1 matt
  
  Judging by the look of what’s in the bottle, it looks more like a blood sample to me. This clearly shows the PAN leaver’s bloody backwash and betrays their vampirish tendencies. I’m on team: drive-a-stake-through-their-heart to stop these nightly vampire binges
  
  Nov 30, 2008 at 11:18 pm rating: 0
- #7.2 Goldie
  
  Are you kidding, Mishee? Root canal prescription shit is good. Of course, it may be nothing to you spoiled Californians, with your legal pot, but the rest of us have to survive on happy pills.
  
  Dec 1, 2008 at 3:49 am rating: +2
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#8 BurstingAtTheSeams

P.S. That is, I used to spit in it when I got drunk, but seeing as how somebody else has been drinking it, there’s not enough mouthwash left for me to even get tipsy.

Nov 30, 2008 at 10:21 pm rating: +3

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#9 Thanks!

I say if someone is at my house and needs mouthwash, be my guest. Really it is not that expensive and it is always nice, no great, to be fresh.

Nov 30, 2008 at 11:30 pm rating: 0

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#10 aaa

Wouldn’t the antiseptic effects of the mouthwash’s high alcohol content destroy any of the nasty shit that’d be floating around in Dianne’s saliva? So really, the mouthwash wouldn’t really be nasty since any of the spit in there would already be sterile.

Dec 1, 2008 at 12:10 am rating: 0

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- #10.1 HairySwede
  
  Dianne apparently doesn’t really understand the concept of mouthwash sterilizing all the nasty shit that i in saliva to make her mouth so fresh and so clean clean.
  
  Dec 1, 2008 at 1:32 am rating: +1
- #10.2 cre8tivewmn
  
  It’s good enough for Dianne, apparently, so why wouldn’t it good enough for her roommates?
  
  Dec 1, 2008 at 11:50 am rating: 0
- #10.3 Bunnee
  
  The burn lets you know it’s working!
  
  Dec 1, 2008 at 12:04 pm rating: +1
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#11 Alfred

That mouthwash was fucking delicious.

Lolz.

Dec 1, 2008 at 12:54 am rating: +1

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- #11.1 puppy dog
  
  All hail Alfred - the one joke wonder
  
  Dec 1, 2008 at 1:15 am rating: +14
- #11.2 snee
  
  no. NO. NOOOOO! IT WASN’T FUCKING DELICIOUS AT ALL! SHE HAS BEEN SPITTING BACK INTO THE BOTTLE WHEN SHE’S DRUNK! IT’S A MIX OF LISTERINE AND MARGARITA MADNESS BACKWASH! IT’S NOT FUCKING DELICIOUS! IT’S JUST NOT!
  
  Dec 1, 2008 at 3:12 am rating: +6
- #11.3 Alfred
  
  My joke was fucking delicious!
  
  ROFLMAO!
  
  Dec 1, 2008 at 5:40 am rating: 0
- #11.4 tinkerbell2
  
  Keep drinking the mouthwash, Alfred.
  
  Dec 1, 2008 at 7:23 am rating: +9
- #11.5 aaa
  
  Just mouthwash? I think he might need some Robitussin, too.
  
  Dec 1, 2008 at 9:42 am rating: 0
- #11.6 Pedant
  
  Can we find the unitard for Alfred please? Who had to wear it last? Matt maybe?
  
  Dec 1, 2008 at 9:46 am rating: 0
- #11.7 Woman on the Verge
  
  I think Alfred already has it. I think he wants to keep it. Creepy, huh?
  
  Dec 1, 2008 at 7:48 pm rating: +1
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#12 secondsout

“Whomever” has been teaching you the difference between subjects and objects has failed you.

Dec 1, 2008 at 12:56 am rating: +13

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- #12.1 pgn674
  
  A quick and easy way to tell the difference is to try “me” and “I” in place of the “whom” and “who” you’re debating. If “me” works better, use “whom” (to remember this, note that both words have an “m” in them). Likewise, “I” maps to “who” (note the lack of “m” in both words). In this case, “I have been using…” works best.
  
  Dec 1, 2008 at 1:41 am rating: +6
- #12.2 Canthz_B
  
  Methinks that is a good rule of thumb, pgn674!
  
  Dec 1, 2008 at 1:48 am rating: +4
- #12.3 Betty White
  
  PGN674 describes why I failed english grammer in HS.
  
  Dec 1, 2008 at 6:01 pm rating: 0
- #12.4 Bunnee
  
  How did you do in spelling, Betty?
  
  Dec 1, 2008 at 6:32 pm rating: +9
- #12.5 Chinchillazilla
  
  I’m going to guess she didn’t do very wall.
  
  (That ‘a’ was out of a job since the ‘e’ is up there.)
  
  Dec 2, 2008 at 2:28 pm rating: 0
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#13 secondsout

So I’m guessing I shouldn’t kiss Dianne, given that she gargles her own spit.

Dec 1, 2008 at 12:58 am rating: +8

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- #13.1 snee
  
  why does she spit into her own moothwash? drunk must equal stupid and gross in dianne’s little corner of london. for the love of all that’s minty fresh, SPIT IT OUT!
  
  Dec 1, 2008 at 2:55 am rating: +1
- #13.2 Commentator
  
  She spits back into the moothwash so she can re-use it. A bottle lasts much longer if you do this.
  
  Dec 3, 2008 at 10:33 am rating: 0
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#14 chekur

Meh, it’s all the same spit, right? Except now it’s got a hint of minty freshness!

Dec 1, 2008 at 2:11 am rating: 0

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#15 snee

that little polka dotted cup is making me dizzy. i may have to spit up–QUICK! GET ME THE MOOTHWASH BOTTLE!

Dec 1, 2008 at 3:00 am rating: +2

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#16 Mark

Love the whoMever…. and the moothwash….

Dec 1, 2008 at 4:06 am rating: 0

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- #16.1 Andy
  
  My old roommate used to always say “him and I” and “her and I”. Sounds pretty retarded to my ears naturally, but falls under the same category of “totally inappropriate use of pronouns to sound proper”… and stupid.
  
  But whom am I to judge?
  
  Dec 1, 2008 at 10:35 am rating: +3
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#17 Goldie

Whomever has been using my touthbrush should know that when i’m drunk i sometimes pleasure myself with the bristly goodness.
Yes, anally too.
HA!

Dec 1, 2008 at 5:11 am rating: +5

reply to this comment
- #17.1 snee
  
  ouch.
  
  Dec 1, 2008 at 5:41 am rating: +1
- #17.2 anglophile
  
  You should consider keeping a separate toothbrush for that, Goldie.
  
  Because, you know, the firm ones aren’t so good for your teeth.
  
  Dec 1, 2008 at 6:15 am rating: +5
- #17.3 Andy
  
  Applying the toothbrush directly to your butthole - nice! Way to cut out the middle man (toilet) and the magic of airborne feces.
  
  That’s right, magic. Poop flying has to be considered a form of sorcery conjured up by the porcelain god.
  
  Dec 1, 2008 at 11:13 am rating: +3
- #17.4 Goldie
  
  Sometimes when I’m drunk, I pray to the porcelain god to send me a softer toothbrush.
  
  Dec 1, 2008 at 12:13 pm rating: 0
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#18 Nacey

I love that she went to the trouble of using those blendy-pens to write the note. Pretty!

Dec 1, 2008 at 7:52 am rating: 0

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#19 Olson

I’m sad that she’s so drunk that she gargles with Robitussin.
Get help, girl.

Dec 1, 2008 at 8:08 am rating: +2

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#20 Ti O

Sometimes when I am really drunk I leave PAN notes for my roomies with random capitals and lisping stories of Mooths and Squirrels.

Dec 1, 2008 at 9:42 am rating: +4

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#21 You Suck at Craigslist

You know you’re desperate if you’re drinking mouthwash and Robitussin to get drunk. The next step is drinking the cooking wine despite the salt content. After that, it’s just a short hop to the antifreeze.

Dec 1, 2008 at 10:32 am rating: +3

reply to this comment
- #21.1 Mishee
  
  Only the best wines from the French countryside employ the use of anti-freeze to make their wine.
  
  Just hope they don’t put in too much, because you could go blind!
  
  Dec 1, 2008 at 1:16 pm rating: +1
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#22 unholyghost2003

painfully polite and hilariously hostile writings from shared spaces the world over

and i’m singing “uh oh” on a friday night

November 30th, 2008 · 72 comments

72 responses so far ↓