jen says this liquor store in chicago’s lincoln square is completely plastered with notes like these, but — vexingly enough — the guy at the register was such a hawk she was only able to snap a few photos. happily, i’d say jen scored a hat trick for insolence with these three.
related: free markets, free people, free papers
146 responses so far ↓
#1
lyntess
Vexing and insolent? That guy has clearly never dealt with a toddler.
Dec 4, 2008 at 12:01 am rating: +16
#2
georgia girl
I think it’s vexing that the third sign is abusing a comma.
Dec 4, 2008 at 12:06 am rating: +7
#3
harmonicpies
Is using one’s cell phone while shopping more vexing and insolent than posting PAN signs instructing your customers on polite behavior?
Dec 4, 2008 at 12:21 am rating: +6
#4
Canthz_B
The guy sells cirrhosis and is vexed by cell phones?
How insolent!
Dec 4, 2008 at 12:22 am rating: +27
#5
Canthz_B
Sure he owns a liquor store now, but he always wanted to be an airline pilot.
Dec 4, 2008 at 12:29 am rating: +6
#6
Crash
Funny, how someone can irrationally protest an inanimate object and yet be compelled to display his own vexing and insolent behavior all over the store.
I would address the behavior of the people using the cell phones rather than take my obsessive, compulsive behavior out on inanimate objects and ban all insolent an vexing people from my store instead…which would be everyone with an obsessive compulsive disorder who practices their behavior in an insolent and vexing display.
Dec 4, 2008 at 12:58 am rating: +18
#7
Commentator
I don’t care what dictionary you’re using, inanimate objects cannot be rude or disrepectful. The person using them, yes; objects, no.
Attempted anthropomorphizing of my cell phone is vexing.
Dec 4, 2008 at 1:00 am rating: +78
#8
snee
please stop posting passive-aggressive notes regarding cell phone vexation & insolence all over the store.
explanation: i’m looking for booze and your assholery is distracting.
Dec 4, 2008 at 1:06 am rating: +72
#9
nobody special
Duh, Doctors On Call use pagers.
Dec 4, 2008 at 1:29 am rating: +3
#10
aaa
What, this PAN doesn’t have an anthropomorphism tag? I’m disappointed in you, Kerry. :c
Dec 4, 2008 at 2:10 am rating: +2
#11
aaa
Have some compassion, liquor store owner! Don’t you think doctors on call need the liquid stress relief more than your other customers?
Dec 4, 2008 at 2:18 am rating: +5
#12
matt
*multicolored print – check
hand written block lettering – check
dictionary reference – check
ExCessive/ Ad Hoc Punctuation And Capitalization – check*
oh BTW, thank you for your thoughtful diagram of the cell phone..
Dec 4, 2008 at 3:40 am rating: +17
#13
Scaryduck
So, I looked in Webster’s Dictionary.
It said “Go to a different liquor store”.
Dec 4, 2008 at 3:46 am rating: +65
#14
Flange
Vexing schmexing-
My liver is bleeding and I need a drink.
“Honey, they’re outta Wild Turkey, will Jack do? Hold on, there’s a guy with a name tag climbing over the counter with a baseball bat…”
Dec 4, 2008 at 4:19 am rating: +53
#15
Melodie
I don’t know. I mean, I see bog standard “no cell phones” signs quite a lot in shops in my ‘hood. I’m pretty sure I’d enjoy them a lot more if their creators had taken the time to elaborate that cell phones are vexing and insolent, or, you know, something in that vein.
Maybe one day when you’re older I’ll take some photos of the many thousands of PANs in my local pet store. Every single one of them is a barely literate rant meant to discourage people from speaking to the staff for any reason whatsoever.
Dec 4, 2008 at 4:48 am rating: +9
#16
anglophile
According to m-w.com, a store is a business establishment where usually diversified goods are kept for retail sale.
Thanks goodness he told me to go to the dictionary! I thought I had wandered into Crazy Uncle John’s house again.
Dec 4, 2008 at 5:13 am rating: +10
#17
Ryan
If that’s the liquor store on Western in Lincoln Square, you beat me to this. I love that store. The older dude in there is always watching Abbot and Costello videoes.
Dec 4, 2008 at 7:12 am rating: +3
#18
SexyNinjaMonkey
Someone should organise a flash-mob at this store, everyone walks in and starts talking to each other on their mobiles for a minute or two. That would blow the shop dudes mind.
Dec 4, 2008 at 7:16 am rating: +28
#19
Woman on the Verge
This makes me want to organize a PA parade. I’m thinking we all go to his competition, buy bottles of Jack and stand right outside his window with the competition’s name prominently displayed on our bottles as we drink and dial… as long as we dial him.
Dec 4, 2008 at 7:22 am rating: +2
#20
unholyghost2003
Before I read the description and before I saw the rest of the pictures I thought this was a movie Theater. While I will admit that people who talk on their cell phones while checking out at any store are annoying since it makes the process extra slow … why should this guy care if I chat quietly while I shop?
I am a grocery store chatter. Not one of those folks who stand in the middle of the isle and request that person at home recite the current contents of the cupboard … but I need to be talked down. YOU! The grandmas with your carts angle parked blocking the whole isle! THIS CELL PHONE IS THE ONLY THING KEEPING ME FROM TAKING THAT CASE OF ENSURE AND BEATING YOUR HEADS IN WITH IT! Crotchety old liquor store dude, I know what “vexing” and “insolent” mean. This cell phone is keeping me from doing something far beyond “vexing” and teaching you a NEW meaning of “insolent.”
Dec 4, 2008 at 7:25 am rating: +21
#21
Karen
Insolent it spelled “Insulent” in the second sign.
Dec 4, 2008 at 8:40 am rating: +1
#22
se
My cell phone and my dictionary both say that liquor store clerks are vexing and insolent.
Dec 4, 2008 at 8:45 am rating: +1
#23
biscuit
You’d think as an added service to his customers he’d have a dictionary on hand.
Dec 4, 2008 at 8:48 am rating: +2
#24
Krista
I once went to a gift shop that had a sign at the register that said “Please don’t use cell phones while at register. They cause confusion.”
The best part was that the cashier was not only on a cell phone while she was ringing people up, she was using a headset that was difficult to see under her hair. Talk about confusing!
Dec 4, 2008 at 8:53 am rating: +2
#25
Dare
This guy is why ThinkGeek.com invented: http://www.thinkgeek.com/gadgets/electronic/b278/ I might have to take a trip down to Chi-town just to avenge against this guy.
Seriously dude, you sell one of the last legal, over the counter, drugs and you really can’t afford to do it from atop a high-horse.
Dec 4, 2008 at 9:42 am rating: +4
#26
Shawn
“When my cell phone was insolent it was placed in a burlap sack and beaten with reeds – pretty standard, really”.
Dec 4, 2008 at 10:06 am rating: +18
#27
Goldie
Tough shit, I need to talk to my family to find out what kind of liquor they want out of what’s on the shelves. If you don’t like it, you can go vex yourself.
Dec 4, 2008 at 10:20 am rating: +5
#28
claw71
While I could easily think of many things that would be far more vexing and insolent than jabbering into a cell phone, I have to admit that as a consumer I do find people who shop and chat on their phones extremely irritating. Everybody thinks that they’re using a normal speaking voice when they’re on their phone but they aren’t. The reality is that people tend to be much louder when they are on the phone as opposed to speaking with somebody in person. More over, cell phones tend to pick up a lot of ambient noise which forces the user to yell “what” every few minutes.
I’m torn. As a consumer I find signs like this to be petty and unprofessional but at the same time I find myself struggling to hold back the urge to jam cell phones up the asses of those people who choose to incessantly yammer on them in public.
Dec 4, 2008 at 10:20 am rating: +23
#29
Amy Campbell
What would REALLY be vexing and insolent is if these photos where taken with a cell phone camera.
That would be classic.
Dec 4, 2008 at 10:58 am rating: +4
#30
Andy
If I can’t use my cell phone, how the hell do you expect me to take pictures of this shit for PAN.com!?
Oh, right. I could be insolent and vexing by stealing every last one of these ridiculous fuckers instead!
Dec 4, 2008 at 11:02 am rating: +1
#31
Michael
I can’t believe I’m seeing that liquor store! I never thought to submit the signs to PAN. I was just there the other day (in my defense, it was just to get a soda). I live in Lincoln Square too.
BTW, I don’t think the old hawk dude is the owner. The owner is a younger guy (at least he told me that he owned it). He also owns Chubby Weiner (the hot dog place) and Tar Bar, which are in the same area.
Dec 4, 2008 at 11:07 am rating: +2
#32
B
Where is this place? I live near there and want to check it out.
Dec 4, 2008 at 11:30 am rating: 0
#33
Dan
I was eating lunch in a diner once and an old woman was in the booth next to me. I’ll give her credit for knowing how to use a cell phone. But I won’t give her credit for yelling at (someone? child? friend from the old days?) with gruesome details about every physical ailment she, her immediate family, and her neighbors had had for the last two years. We’re talking gross descriptions of invasive medical procedures, much more info about hemorrhoids than I ever need to know, and lots of other mouth-watering data that made me enjoy my grilled cheese on rye more than ever.
Dec 4, 2008 at 12:08 pm rating: +5
#34
stringyhair
Can I use my phone to access the web to look up insolent and vexing? But what part of “No Cell Phones In Store” really needs further explanation? Are the customers already drunk?
This has obviously vexed me.
Dec 4, 2008 at 12:26 pm rating: +2
#35
K Dog
I actually wouldn’t mind seeing a few of these signs in public restrooms. Am I the only one who has noticed that it is becoming more frequent that people hold conversations on their cell phones in public restrooms? Every time I’m on the john and the person in the stall next to mine is on her phone, I lament the fact that I did not have Taco Bell for dinner the previous night. Next time it happens, I’m going to reinact the bathroom scene from “1941.”
Dec 4, 2008 at 1:21 pm rating: +2
#36
bodyslam
vexing and insolent? They’ve obviously been hangin out with Merlin Mann too long.
Dec 4, 2008 at 1:24 pm rating: 0
#37
Ti O
When hexing there shall be no texting because the old crone finds it vexing.
Dec 4, 2008 at 1:29 pm rating: +3
#38
eeyore
I’ve never understood the issue some have with people using their cell phone in public. As long as you’re polite enough to hang up/hold on while you’re conducting your business with someone else, who cares? it’s the same thing as talking to someone next to you…and yeah, some DO talk louder on cell phones, but it’s been my experience that those people who do that, or don’t shut up when it’s their turn, act that same way when they ARE just talking to someone next to them…same with the non censoring of their convos. And if someone IS being rude, telling me to “hold on”, ., I just walk off and help the next person…and they’re last again.
Dec 4, 2008 at 1:31 pm rating: +4
#39
Michael
I read that researchers think that hearing cell phone conversations are annoying because of the way the brain reacts to hearing just one side of a conversation. As much as you’d like to tune out the conversation, your brain can’t help trying to fill in gaps, so you just want them to shut up (even if they’re talking at normal levels). This is especially true in a confined space, like a train (here in Chicago, there’s always one oblivious Chatty Cathy or Chatty Ken on the El trains).
I bet that many people don’t experience hearing cell phone calls as an annoyance, which is why they’re oblivious to the dirty looks they’re getting on the train, in the restaurant, etc.
Dec 4, 2008 at 1:51 pm rating: +4
#40
Emily
What if I need further explanation and am using my cellphone to go to Websters.com?
Dec 4, 2008 at 4:18 pm rating: +1
#41
Alice
Huh… I would rather have someone on their cell phone being vexing and insolent than having them pulling out a gun and robbing my liquor store. Oh hell, no one could call for help then. Now wouldn’t that vexing.
Dec 4, 2008 at 7:17 pm rating: 0
#42
Sue Do Nim
I couldn’t find Further Information in the dictionary. Vexing and insolent Miriam Webster!
Dec 4, 2008 at 7:43 pm rating: 0
#43
secondsout
Vexing and insolent… Must be related somehow to trifling and disgusting. You didn’t wipe between your legs with Lisa’s cell phone, did you?
Dec 4, 2008 at 8:45 pm rating: +3
#44
Cady
I like the “refer to Webster’s” part
Dec 4, 2008 at 10:16 pm rating: 0
#45
ryan0mega
vexing. what is that? is that like sexing?
Dec 4, 2008 at 10:37 pm rating: 0
#46
Dawn Goldberg
Gotta love the use of “vexing” though.
Dec 5, 2008 at 2:27 pm rating: 0
#47
bangin'drums
The guy had a traumatic experience. As a child his father would rape him with a cellphone. everytime he hears a vibrating phone he has horrible flashbacks and thugs steal his liquore.
Dec 5, 2008 at 4:05 pm rating: 0
#48
Canthz_B
Why all of the signs?
Because it’s bad for business when someone calls their sponsor for support from inside a liquor store.
Dec 5, 2008 at 9:37 pm rating: +1
#49
Ryan
My girlfriend told the liquor store guy about this page and he was very pleased. Apparently he has gotten free publicity from a news story that talked about his old sign which said, “We attend your spirtual needs.”
Dec 6, 2008 at 1:02 am rating: +1
#50
heatherinparadise
That’s my old neighborhood liquor store/seedy bar combo! I miss that guy, he was also the KING of publicly displaying all the bounced checks he’d receive from people. He had a pretty decent wine selection, though.
Dec 6, 2008 at 9:19 pm rating: 0
#51
first5times
Hah! This is from Pelly’s. <3 My friends and I love this sign.
Jan 23, 2009 at 12:22 pm rating: 0
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