jen says this liquor store in chicago’s lincoln square is completely plastered with notes like these, but — vexingly enough — the guy at the register was such a hawk she was only able to snap a few photos. happily, i’d say jen scored a hat trick for insolence with these three.
i’m not a doctor, but i was an extra on ER once?
December 3rd, 2008 · 144 comments
FILED UNDER: blitzkrieg approach · chicago · irregular capitalization · obnoxious definition









144 responses so far ↓
#1
lyntess

Vexing and insolent? That guy has clearly never dealt with a toddler.
Dec 4, 2008 at 12:01 am rating: +16 
#2
georgia girl

I think it’s vexing that the third sign is abusing a comma.
Dec 4, 2008 at 12:06 am rating: +6 
#3
harmonicpies

Is using one’s cell phone while shopping more vexing and insolent than posting PAN signs instructing your customers on polite behavior?
Dec 4, 2008 at 12:21 am rating: +6 
#4
Canthz_B

The guy sells cirrhosis and is vexed by cell phones?
How insolent!
Dec 4, 2008 at 12:22 am rating: +27 
#5
Canthz_B

Sure he owns a liquor store now, but he always wanted to be an airline pilot.
Dec 4, 2008 at 12:29 am rating: +6 
#6
Crash

Funny, how someone can irrationally protest an inanimate object and yet be compelled to display his own vexing and insolent behavior all over the store.
I would address the behavior of the people using the cell phones rather than take my obsessive, compulsive behavior out on inanimate objects and ban all insolent an vexing people from my store instead…which would be everyone with an obsessive compulsive disorder who practices their behavior in an insolent and vexing display.
Dec 4, 2008 at 12:58 am rating: +18 
#7
Commentator

I don’t care what dictionary you’re using, inanimate objects cannot be rude or disrepectful. The person using them, yes; objects, no.
Attempted anthropomorphizing of my cell phone is vexing.
Dec 4, 2008 at 1:00 am rating: +78 
#8
snee

please stop posting passive-aggressive notes regarding cell phone vexation & insolence all over the store.
explanation: i’m looking for booze and your assholery is distracting.
Dec 4, 2008 at 1:06 am rating: +71 
#9
nobody special

Duh, Doctors On Call use pagers.
Dec 4, 2008 at 1:29 am rating: +3 
#10
aaa

What, this PAN doesn’t have an anthropomorphism tag? I’m disappointed in you, Kerry. :c
Dec 4, 2008 at 2:10 am rating: +2 
#11
aaa

Have some compassion, liquor store owner! Don’t you think doctors on call need the liquid stress relief more than your other customers?
Dec 4, 2008 at 2:18 am rating: +5 
#12
matt

*multicolored print - check
hand written block lettering - check
dictionary reference - check
ExCessive/ Ad Hoc Punctuation And Capitalization - check*
oh BTW, thank you for your thoughtful diagram of the cell phone..
Dec 4, 2008 at 3:40 am rating: +17 
#13
Scaryduck

So, I looked in Webster’s Dictionary.
It said “Go to a different liquor store”.
Dec 4, 2008 at 3:46 am rating: +65 
#14
Flange

Vexing schmexing-
My liver is bleeding and I need a drink.
“Honey, they’re outta Wild Turkey, will Jack do? Hold on, there’s a guy with a name tag climbing over the counter with a baseball bat…”
Dec 4, 2008 at 4:19 am rating: +52 
#15
Melodie

I don’t know. I mean, I see bog standard “no cell phones” signs quite a lot in shops in my ‘hood. I’m pretty sure I’d enjoy them a lot more if their creators had taken the time to elaborate that cell phones are vexing and insolent, or, you know, something in that vein.
Maybe one day when you’re older I’ll take some photos of the many thousands of PANs in my local pet store. Every single one of them is a barely literate rant meant to discourage people from speaking to the staff for any reason whatsoever.
Dec 4, 2008 at 4:48 am rating: +9 
#16
anglophile

According to m-w.com, a store is a business establishment where usually diversified goods are kept for retail sale.
Thanks goodness he told me to go to the dictionary! I thought I had wandered into Crazy Uncle John’s house again.
Dec 4, 2008 at 5:13 am rating: +10 
#17
Ryan

If that’s the liquor store on Western in Lincoln Square, you beat me to this. I love that store. The older dude in there is always watching Abbot and Costello videoes.
Dec 4, 2008 at 7:12 am rating: +3 
#18
SexyNinjaMonkey

Someone should organise a flash-mob at this store, everyone walks in and starts talking to each other on their mobiles for a minute or two. That would blow the shop dudes mind.
Dec 4, 2008 at 7:16 am rating: +27 
#19