I’m not a doctor, but I was an extra on ER once?

December 3rd, 2008 · 151 comments

Jen says this liquor store in Chicago’s Lincoln Square is completely plastered with notes like these, but — vexingly enough — the guy at the register was such a hawk she was only able to snap a few photos. Happily, I’d say Jen scored a hat trick for insolence with these three.

i'm not a doctor, but i was on extra on ER once...

vexing and insolent!

please refer to Strunk & White for further explanation

related: Free markets, free people, free papers

FILED UNDER: blitzkrieg approach · cell phone · Chicago · irregular capitalization · obnoxious definition


151 responses so far ↓

  • #1   lyntess

    Vexing and insolent? That guy has clearly never dealt with a toddler.

    Dec 4, 2008 at 12:01 am   rating: 21  small thumbs up

    • #1.1   melanie

      When my cellphone is vexing and insolent, I put it in the naughty chair.

      Dec 4, 2008 at 12:19 am   rating: 49  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.2   harmonicpies bang

      When my cell phone is vexing and insolent, I give it a good spanking.

      Dec 4, 2008 at 12:23 am   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.3   lyntess

      “I’m going to set your alarm to ring on Tone 3 in five minutes. When you hear the ringtone, you may get off the naughty chair and come apologize.”

      Dec 4, 2008 at 12:23 am   rating: 20  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.4   djr

      If I became vexing and insolent, would you give me a good spanking?

      Dec 4, 2008 at 10:06 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.5   Mark bang

      Yes, we all need a good spanking.

      And then, after the spanking, the oral sex!

      Dec 4, 2008 at 4:33 pm   rating: 14  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.6   djr

      Spankings, oral sex, insolence… this liquor store is awesome!

      Dec 4, 2008 at 5:30 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.7   Chris

      Whenever I see or hear any form of the word “vex,” I can’t help but smile! :D It unvexes me.

      Jan 10, 2009 at 7:21 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #2   georgia girl

    I think it’s vexing that the third sign is abusing a comma.

    Dec 4, 2008 at 12:06 am   rating: 9  small thumbs up

    • #2.1   bob

      Not the 3rd sign’s fault – the comma was behaving in an insolent manner at the time it was printed.

      Dec 4, 2008 at 9:58 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.2   oberdada bang

      It’s not abuse. It’s tough love.

      Dec 4, 2008 at 10:31 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.3   aims

      I find the use of the inappropriate capitalizations extremely insolent!
      Or Should I Say I Find The Use…

      Dec 8, 2008 at 4:21 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #3   harmonicpies bang

    Is using one’s cell phone while shopping more vexing and insolent than posting PAN signs instructing your customers on polite behavior?

    Dec 4, 2008 at 12:21 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

     
  • #4   Canthz_B bang

    The guy sells cirrhosis and is vexed by cell phones?
    How insolent!

    Dec 4, 2008 at 12:22 am   rating: 31  small thumbs up

    • #4.1   harmonicpies bang

      Insolent and irrational. Sellers of cirrhosis should recognize that Doctors On Call could find plenty of business in a liquor store.

      Dec 4, 2008 at 12:33 am   rating: 26  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.2   Ti O

      That band Doctors On Call could lay down that funk!

      Dec 4, 2008 at 9:05 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.3   Ti O

      Chill I just want a forty and my beeper is on stun.

      signed,
      80′s dude

      Dec 4, 2008 at 9:08 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.4   aims

      She sells cirrhosis
      In bottles by the grosses
      Drink enough Mimosas
      You’re sure to get cirrhosis!

      Dec 8, 2008 at 4:29 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #5   Canthz_B bang

    Sure he owns a liquor store now, but he always wanted to be an airline pilot.

    Dec 4, 2008 at 12:29 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

    • #5.1   jando_27

      or he WAS a pilot and got fired for the drinking and figured this was his next best career move

      Dec 4, 2008 at 12:33 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.2   park rose bang

      or he WAS a pilot, and someone DIDN’T switch off his/her cell phone, and he CRASHED the plane, and he LOST his job, and it was all very very vexing and insolent, as it would be…

      just running with it Cb. ;)

      Dec 4, 2008 at 4:45 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.3   teeg

      No, he WAS a doctor, and people aren’t allowed to use cell phones in hospitals. Now he’s just vexed, and selling booze for a living.

      Dec 4, 2008 at 9:54 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.4   Bunnee

      Doesn’t YOUR liquor store have heart monitors and EKG machines set up in the back room? Those vexing cell phones can interfere with those, you know!

      Dec 4, 2008 at 10:00 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #6   Crash bang

    Funny, how someone can irrationally protest an inanimate object and yet be compelled to display his own vexing and insolent behavior all over the store.
    I would address the behavior of the people using the cell phones rather than take my obsessive, compulsive behavior out on inanimate objects and ban all insolent an vexing people from my store instead…which would be everyone with an obsessive compulsive disorder who practices their behavior in an insolent and vexing display. :D

    Dec 4, 2008 at 12:58 am   rating: 18  small thumbs up

     
  • #7   Commentator

    I don’t care what dictionary you’re using, inanimate objects cannot be rude or disrepectful. The person using them, yes; objects, no.

    Attempted anthropomorphizing of my cell phone is vexing.

    Dec 4, 2008 at 1:00 am   rating: 79  small thumbs up

    • #7.1   Crash bang

      I’m taking 1/2 credit for your score, man…
      Cause you just ran off of and betterised and shortened and smartified mine…
      Good job on it too.
      I vOtEd FoR iT tOo. 8)

      Either that, or you had good timing…

      Dec 4, 2008 at 2:36 am   rating: 22  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.2   James

      Don’t you guys think it’s weird he’s claiming an inanimate obj-

      GODDAMMIT

      Dec 4, 2008 at 5:37 am   rating: 18  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.3   James

      Tell me about it. I couldn’t work out for the life of me what he meant by “in”, but now I know it is a preposition used to indicate inclusion within space, a place, or limits.

      The more you know, huh?

      Dec 4, 2008 at 5:41 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.4   James

      Hmm. I seemed to have replied to the wrong comment.

      Dec 4, 2008 at 5:44 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.5   Commentator

      Crash, I voted for your reply. I had to. You used “betterised” and “smartified” in a sentence and you got away with it!

      That’s probably harder than spelling “anthropomorphizing” without a spell checker.

      Dec 4, 2008 at 10:56 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.6   Goldie

      “inanimate objects cannot be rude or disrepectful.”
      Do teenagers count?

      Dec 4, 2008 at 2:18 pm   rating: 11  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.7   Mark bang

      Yes, you shouldn’t anthropomorphize inanimate cell phones. They really hate that.

      Dec 4, 2008 at 4:35 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.8   amy d bang

      *wonders why marks’ comment seems so familiar*

      Dec 4, 2008 at 4:49 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #8   snee bang

    please stop posting passive-aggressive notes regarding cell phone vexation & insolence all over the store.

    explanation: i’m looking for booze and your assholery is distracting.

    Dec 4, 2008 at 1:06 am   rating: 73  small thumbs up

     
  • #9   nobody special

    Duh, Doctors On Call use pagers.

    Dec 4, 2008 at 1:29 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #9.1   claw71 bang

      Yeah…in 1991. Also, doctors don’t do karate punches in the ER. Here’s an idea: don’t get all your information from daytime basic cable.

      Dec 4, 2008 at 10:24 am   rating: 13  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.2   improverator

      Wouldn’t they be doctors on page then?

      Dec 4, 2008 at 11:52 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.3   heynow

      Doctors on call DO still use pagers.

      Dec 4, 2008 at 1:06 pm   rating: 13  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.4   The Commish

      They do. I practically live in the hospital since my mother has cirrhosis (no lie), and all her doctors have pagers.

      Dec 4, 2008 at 2:48 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #10   aaa

    What, this PAN doesn’t have an anthropomorphism tag? I’m disappointed in you, Kerry. :c

    Dec 4, 2008 at 2:10 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #11   aaa

    Have some compassion, liquor store owner! Don’t you think doctors on call need the liquid stress relief more than your other customers?

    Dec 4, 2008 at 2:18 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

    • #11.1   claw71 bang

      The Love Doctor needs to pick up a bottle of Courvoisier and I’m calling my patient to confirm her appointment time.

      Dec 4, 2008 at 10:27 am   rating: 15  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.2   RunBarbara bang

      Courvoisier? When did you turn into an old black man, claw? I guess the disease that affects the python has spread (not herpes, the other one)

      Dec 4, 2008 at 10:39 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.3   claw71 bang

      Did you finish that 2 liter jug of Sun Country already, sweetie? Don’t worry I can get another one. Why don’t you put that Girl Scout uniform on and I’ll be over in a few minutes?

      Dec 4, 2008 at 10:53 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #12   matt bang

    *multicolored print – check
    hand written block lettering – check
    dictionary reference – check
    ExCessive/ Ad Hoc Punctuation And Capitalization – check*

    oh BTW, thank you for your thoughtful diagram of the cell phone..

    Dec 4, 2008 at 3:40 am   rating: 17  small thumbs up

    • #12.1   sxbaughsx3 bang

      I certainly wouldn’t have known what he was speaking about if he hadn’t included the diagram. I always refer to my phone as “asshole” because it is so damn vexing.

      It also has an attitude problem I need to take care of…

      Dec 4, 2008 at 8:49 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #13   Scaryduck

    So, I looked in Webster’s Dictionary.

    It said “Go to a different liquor store”.

    Dec 4, 2008 at 3:46 am   rating: 65  small thumbs up

     
  • #14   Flange

    Vexing schmexing-
    My liver is bleeding and I need a drink.

    “Honey, they’re outta Wild Turkey, will Jack do? Hold on, there’s a guy with a name tag climbing over the counter with a baseball bat…”

    Dec 4, 2008 at 4:19 am   rating: 53  small thumbs up

    • #14.1   unholyghost2003 bang

      LOL though the curse of having married a Kentucky man forces me to say … No, Jack WON’T do in the place of Wild Turkey. Wild Turkey is Bourbon. Jack is Whiskey. It is a fine distinction but very important in my house

      Dec 4, 2008 at 7:13 am   rating: 11  small thumbs up

       
    • #14.2   Ti O

      OH great. thanks a hell of a lot UGH2003 now I have Neil fucking Diamond’s “Kentucky Woman” stuck in my head! :razz:

      Dec 4, 2008 at 9:14 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #14.3   snee bang

      she shines with her own kinda light!

      Dec 4, 2008 at 11:35 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #14.4   Ti O

      Don’t you start now Snee! :razz:

      Dec 4, 2008 at 1:21 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #15   Melodie

    I don’t know. I mean, I see bog standard “no cell phones” signs quite a lot in shops in my ‘hood. I’m pretty sure I’d enjoy them a lot more if their creators had taken the time to elaborate that cell phones are vexing and insolent, or, you know, something in that vein.

    Maybe one day when you’re older I’ll take some photos of the many thousands of PANs in my local pet store. Every single one of them is a barely literate rant meant to discourage people from speaking to the staff for any reason whatsoever.

    Dec 4, 2008 at 4:48 am   rating: 10  small thumbs up

    • #15.1   tinkerbell2

      why wait? do it now. I’m already older.

      Dec 4, 2008 at 9:14 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #15.2   Olson

      Aren’t we all getting older by the second?

      Dec 4, 2008 at 3:50 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #15.3   Krystal Pistol

      I’m old, insolent and vexing.

      Dec 4, 2008 at 6:42 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #16   anglophile bang

    According to m-w.com, a store is a business establishment where usually diversified goods are kept for retail sale.

    Thanks goodness he told me to go to the dictionary! I thought I had wandered into Crazy Uncle John’s house again.

    Dec 4, 2008 at 5:13 am   rating: 10  small thumbs up

    • #16.1   Shawn

      I love Crazy Uncle John’s house. He’ always having flashbacks from Nam and calls us all Charlie.

      Dec 4, 2008 at 10:08 am   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
    • #16.2   snee bang

      crazy uncle john has lots of liquor and he doesn’t need a cell phone to hear the voices.

      Dec 4, 2008 at 11:37 am   rating: 13  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #17   Ryan

    If that’s the liquor store on Western in Lincoln Square, you beat me to this. I love that store. The older dude in there is always watching Abbot and Costello videoes.

    Dec 4, 2008 at 7:12 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #17.1   Holiday Djinn

      Abbot and Costello? No Cellphones? Somebody inform the prick who owns the store that this is indeed the 21st century.

      Dec 4, 2008 at 7:23 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #17.2   aims

      I dig out my bag phone and ring him up.

      Dec 8, 2008 at 4:31 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #18   SexyNinjaMonkey

    Someone should organise a flash-mob at this store, everyone walks in and starts talking to each other on their mobiles for a minute or two. That would blow the shop dudes mind.

    Dec 4, 2008 at 7:16 am   rating: 28  small thumbs up

     
  • #19   Woman on the Verge bang

    This makes me want to organize a PA parade. I’m thinking we all go to his competition, buy bottles of Jack and stand right outside his window with the competition’s name prominently displayed on our bottles as we drink and dial… as long as we dial him.

    Dec 4, 2008 at 7:22 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #20   unholyghost2003 bang

    Before I read the description and before I saw the rest of the pictures I thought this was a movie Theater. While I will admit that people who talk on their cell phones while checking out at any store are annoying since it makes the process extra slow … why should this guy care if I chat quietly while I shop?
    I am a grocery store chatter. Not one of those folks who stand in the middle of the isle and request that person at home recite the current contents of the cupboard … but I need to be talked down. YOU! The grandmas with your carts angle parked blocking the whole isle! THIS CELL PHONE IS THE ONLY THING KEEPING ME FROM TAKING THAT CASE OF ENSURE AND BEATING YOUR HEADS IN WITH IT! Crotchety old liquor store dude, I know what “vexing” and “insolent” mean. This cell phone is keeping me from doing something far beyond “vexing” and teaching you a NEW meaning of “insolent.”

    Dec 4, 2008 at 7:25 am   rating: 21  small thumbs up

    • #20.1   snee bang

      make sure you have enough bars, uhg. i can just see it…

      safeway security: step away from the ensure, miss. no old ladies are gonna be bashed today!

      Dec 4, 2008 at 11:42 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #21   Karen

    Insolent it spelled “Insulent” in the second sign.

    Dec 4, 2008 at 8:40 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #21.1   tinkerbell2

      It it?

      Dec 4, 2008 at 9:15 am   rating: 12  small thumbs up

       
    • #21.2   Canthz_B bang

      What an ignominious FAIL!! :-|

      Dec 4, 2008 at 1:02 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #21.3   Mark bang

      You fools! You will PAY for your insulin!

      Dec 4, 2008 at 4:38 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #22   se

    My cell phone and my dictionary both say that liquor store clerks are vexing and insolent.

    Dec 4, 2008 at 8:45 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #23   biscuit

    You’d think as an added service to his customers he’d have a dictionary on hand.

    Dec 4, 2008 at 8:48 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #24   Krista

    I once went to a gift shop that had a sign at the register that said “Please don’t use cell phones while at register. They cause confusion.”

    The best part was that the cashier was not only on a cell phone while she was ringing people up, she was using a headset that was difficult to see under her hair. Talk about confusing!

    Dec 4, 2008 at 8:53 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #24.1   Goldie

      The cashier lied. There was no headset under her hair. It’s just kinda embarrassing to admit to a customer that you’re chatting with the voices in your head while ringing people up.

      Dec 4, 2008 at 10:18 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #25   Dare

    This guy is why ThinkGeek.com invented: http://www.thinkgeek.com/gadgets/electronic/b278/ I might have to take a trip down to Chi-town just to avenge against this guy.

    Seriously dude, you sell one of the last legal, over the counter, drugs and you really can’t afford to do it from atop a high-horse.

    Dec 4, 2008 at 9:42 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #25.1   Fresca

      Just because somebody is a drug dealer doesn’t mean you have permission to be rude to them.

      Dec 4, 2008 at 12:45 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
    • #25.2   aaa

      SRSLY. That mosquito tone can trigger migraines. :c

      Dec 4, 2008 at 2:17 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #26   Shawn

    “When my cell phone was insolent it was placed in a burlap sack and beaten with reeds – pretty standard, really”.

    Dec 4, 2008 at 10:06 am   rating: 18  small thumbs up

     
  • #27   Goldie

    Tough shit, I need to talk to my family to find out what kind of liquor they want out of what’s on the shelves. If you don’t like it, you can go vex yourself.

    Dec 4, 2008 at 10:20 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

    • #27.1   Ti O

      Goldie…tsk tsk…no need to call.
      VODKA of course!! :wink: :grin:

      Dec 4, 2008 at 11:13 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #27.2   Goldie

      If I had a nickel for each time someone assumed I drink vodka ‘cuz I’m Russian, I wouldn’t be in the office now. I’d be in my beachfront house in the Bahamas… drinking rum ;)

      Dec 4, 2008 at 11:39 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #27.3   phydo bang

      family, lol, not making fun, just picturing calling my family from a liquor store to get a list…

      Dec 27, 2009 at 6:41 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #28   claw71 bang

    While I could easily think of many things that would be far more vexing and insolent than jabbering into a cell phone, I have to admit that as a consumer I do find people who shop and chat on their phones extremely irritating. Everybody thinks that they’re using a normal speaking voice when they’re on their phone but they aren’t. The reality is that people tend to be much louder when they are on the phone as opposed to speaking with somebody in person. More over, cell phones tend to pick up a lot of ambient noise which forces the user to yell “what” every few minutes.

    I’m torn. As a consumer I find signs like this to be petty and unprofessional but at the same time I find myself struggling to hold back the urge to jam cell phones up the asses of those people who choose to incessantly yammer on them in public.

    Dec 4, 2008 at 10:20 am   rating: 23  small thumbs up

    • #28.1   Goldie

      Embrace the cell-phone convos, Claw. They can be fun. I stood in line behind a guy once who was telling someone on his cell about the time he went to court. Very entertaining.

      Dec 4, 2008 at 11:41 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #28.2   Canthz_B bang

      How else am I supposed to find out people’s personal business?
      I’d be too embarrassed to ask outright for some of the info they give freely while on their cell phones.

      Dec 4, 2008 at 1:09 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #28.3   Juliet

      If only there were more of those types of convos!

      I don’t ever hear anything that good. Usually it is young women saying, “OMG!!!!!” and “Mo-om, I have too much homework, can you make dinner and clean my room?” Or, I hear frat boys talking about how drunk they got.

      Cell phone convos aren’t so much vexing and insolent as dull and boring.

      Dec 4, 2008 at 1:23 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #28.4   Canthz_B bang

      Really? I found out that Dineen is pregnant, but it’s not her boyfriend’s baby, but she’s telling him it is.
      You see, she drinks and smokes weed with guys she meets in clubs, and then she may or may not have sex with them. Usually she gives them some head.
      The girl on the phone was very sure of all of this.

      I just hope Dineen’s boyfriend wasn’t on the same bus.

      Dec 4, 2008 at 1:30 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #28.5   nestchick

      I agree that cell phones are obnoxious as hell, but the last conversation I overheard was a guy at the grocery store talking about being in the witness protection program. I can only hope that was some sort of underground performance art.

      Dec 4, 2008 at 2:03 pm   rating: 9  small thumbs up

       
    • #28.6   Duh

      Or it was some loser just screwing with you. I know, it’s so rare but there are people out there who pretend to have outrageous converstions just so they can see how you react.

      Dec 4, 2008 at 2:19 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #28.7   Goldie

      You might be on to something. My kid and his friends do the “overheard conversation” stunt. You know, when they’re walking down a street, and just as they pass a stranger, they start talking really loud, saying things like “I don’t care what you say, guys turn me on!!” He says the look on the passerbys’ faces is completely worth it. I need to tell them to try the “phone conversation” piece.

      Dec 4, 2008 at 2:22 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #28.8   Canthz_B bang

      :idea: Maybe he’s trying to tell you something.

      Dec 4, 2008 at 2:43 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #28.9   Goldie

      Or maybe he has been reading PAN, and is trying to tell *you* something.
      I am so dead if he reads this :)

      Dec 4, 2008 at 2:54 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #28.10   Canthz_B bang

      LOL, Goldie!

      Better hope his friends don’t figure out who you are! ♥

      Dec 4, 2008 at 3:00 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #29   Amy Campbell

    What would REALLY be vexing and insolent is if these photos where taken with a cell phone camera.

    That would be classic.

    Dec 4, 2008 at 10:58 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #29.1   Andy

      Oh come on, really? Did you really just beat me with that comment!?

      Bitch tits!

      Dec 4, 2008 at 11:07 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #29.2   Ti O

      I think that was the issue with him watching her like a hawk. That she had to be careful because she was using her phone cam.

      Dec 4, 2008 at 11:15 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #29.3   Andy

      Touche

      Dec 4, 2008 at 5:20 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #30   Andy

    If I can’t use my cell phone, how the hell do you expect me to take pictures of this shit for PAN.com!?

    Oh, right. I could be insolent and vexing by stealing every last one of these ridiculous fuckers instead!

    Dec 4, 2008 at 11:02 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #31   Michael

    I can’t believe I’m seeing that liquor store! I never thought to submit the signs to PAN. I was just there the other day (in my defense, it was just to get a soda). I live in Lincoln Square too.

    BTW, I don’t think the old hawk dude is the owner. The owner is a younger guy (at least he told me that he owned it). He also owns Chubby Weiner (the hot dog place) and Tar Bar, which are in the same area.

    Dec 4, 2008 at 11:07 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #31.1   Andy

      He also owns a place called “Chubby Weiner”? In light of the newly presented facts, I officially absolve him of all PA crimes.

      What’s the name of the liquor store? Lick-her ‘Stache?!

      Chubby Weiner… heheheh…

      Dec 4, 2008 at 11:11 am   rating: 14  small thumbs up

       
    • #31.2   Goldie

      I hereby forgive him all his notes for naming his place Chubby Weiner. Although, isn’t it “wiener”? Ah, if it’s chubby, then who cares.

      Dec 4, 2008 at 11:44 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #31.3   Goldie

      Oh crap. Sorry Andy. I only just read your comment.
      *sighs* so does this mean I get the unitard?

      Dec 4, 2008 at 1:06 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #31.4   Andy

      No, this means you’re a fraction of a second slower than me at being awesome. That’s still ridiculously awesome in case you were wondering.

      Dec 4, 2008 at 5:22 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #31.5   Kate

      Oh, is that the liquor store with the sign that reads “We Cater to Your Spiritual Needs?” I used to buy my booze there.

      Dec 5, 2008 at 1:09 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #31.6   phydo bang

      in his defense, after I’d finished a week of working 3rd shift, he did sell me a handle of vodka at about 8:30 a.m. without a hint of being judgemental…

      Dec 27, 2009 at 6:47 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #32   B

    Where is this place? I live near there and want to check it out.

    Dec 4, 2008 at 11:30 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #32.1   Spinner

      Me, too! I’m heading out for errands and want to check this out. If it’s near Chubby Wieners, though, that narrows it down–Lincoln Square has more than its share of hootch joints.

      Dec 4, 2008 at 1:30 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #32.2   SarahBelle

      “this liquor store in chicago’s lincoln square ”

      Way to read the description above the PANs.

      Dec 4, 2008 at 1:39 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #32.3   frick

      “Lincoln Square has more than its share of hootch joints”

      Way to know Chicago geography!

      Dec 4, 2008 at 4:01 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #32.4   Andy

      Who got the hootch!? YEaaaaaa
      Who got the only, sweetest thing in the woooorld

      Dec 4, 2008 at 5:51 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #32.5   panfriedcharlie

      Hop off the Western brown line stop and have a look around. There’s a bar attached. My advice is to go to the liquor store a block south. They are a lot nicer there. And the two Thai places on the way are awesome and BYOB.

      Dec 15, 2008 at 11:01 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #33   Dan

    I was eating lunch in a diner once and an old woman was in the booth next to me. I’ll give her credit for knowing how to use a cell phone. But I won’t give her credit for yelling at (someone? child? friend from the old days?) with gruesome details about every physical ailment she, her immediate family, and her neighbors had had for the last two years. We’re talking gross descriptions of invasive medical procedures, much more info about hemorrhoids than I ever need to know, and lots of other mouth-watering data that made me enjoy my grilled cheese on rye more than ever.

    Dec 4, 2008 at 12:08 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

     
  • #34   stringyhair

    Can I use my phone to access the web to look up insolent and vexing? But what part of “No Cell Phones In Store” really needs further explanation? Are the customers already drunk?

    This has obviously vexed me.

    Dec 4, 2008 at 12:26 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #35   K Dog

    I actually wouldn’t mind seeing a few of these signs in public restrooms. Am I the only one who has noticed that it is becoming more frequent that people hold conversations on their cell phones in public restrooms? Every time I’m on the john and the person in the stall next to mine is on her phone, I lament the fact that I did not have Taco Bell for dinner the previous night. Next time it happens, I’m going to reinact the bathroom scene from “1941.”

    Dec 4, 2008 at 1:21 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #35.1   Canthz_B bang

      They should have signs about taking johns into public restrooms.

      Dec 4, 2008 at 1:33 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #35.2   aaa

      I think reenacting this would be way more awesome.

      Dec 4, 2008 at 2:23 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #35.3   Goldie

      Either “K Dog” is a girl’s name, in which case, WOW! or K Dog is a guy who frequents women’s bathrooms. In which case, I don’t want to know!

      Dec 4, 2008 at 2:25 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #35.4   RandyinReno

      When I’m in the bathroom and someone is using their cell phone, I give frequent courtesy flushes to ensure that the other party in the conversation has the complete picture.

      Dec 4, 2008 at 5:14 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #36   bodyslam

    vexing and insolent? They’ve obviously been hangin out with Merlin Mann too long.

    Dec 4, 2008 at 1:24 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #37   Ti O

    When hexing there shall be no texting because the old crone finds it vexing.

    Dec 4, 2008 at 1:29 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #38   eeyore

    I’ve never understood the issue some have with people using their cell phone in public. As long as you’re polite enough to hang up/hold on while you’re conducting your business with someone else, who cares? it’s the same thing as talking to someone next to you…and yeah, some DO talk louder on cell phones, but it’s been my experience that those people who do that, or don’t shut up when it’s their turn, act that same way when they ARE just talking to someone next to them…same with the non censoring of their convos. And if someone IS being rude, telling me to “hold on”, ., I just walk off and help the next person…and they’re last again.

    Dec 4, 2008 at 1:31 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #38.1   Canthz_B bang

      Public. Private.

      Look them up in Webster’s.

      Dec 4, 2008 at 1:41 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #38.2   eeyore

      Ok, so I hereby decree there shall be no talking in public, whether it be on the phone or to a friend next to you.

      Anal, Retentive. Look THAT up in Webster’s.

      Dec 4, 2008 at 3:07 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #38.3   Canthz_B bang

      Stop calling names, it’s not becoming.

      It has already been pointed out that people tend to talk louder than in normal conversational tones when using a telephone.

      That’s why we used to have these big privacy boxes that we called “phone booths”.

      Recognition and practice of good public etiquette is not Anal Retentive…it’s good home training.

      Dec 4, 2008 at 3:27 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #38.4   eeyore

      I’m not trying to call names, really. Just making a point…I actually don’t find that people talk louder on their phones in most cases. Sometimes, yes, always, no. I do agree that in certain public places, like libraries, theaters, waiting rooms, it is rude and you should, as I do, step out if you must take the call. However, in a store, restaurant, etc, as long as you’re polite enough to put your convo on hold when someone is helping you, it’s no big. I guess I’m sort of of the opinion that, if you go out in public, you can expect to run into a little noise, and if you can’t hang with that, you should stay home. I reiterate that it’s been my experience that people who talk unnecessarily loud, or have tmi convos on the phone in public, do the same thing if they’re talking to someone standing next to them. It’s a personal issue, not a cell phone issue. I dunno, maybe I’m better at tuning things out than some, bc it really doesn’t bother me. Of course, working at a nightclub, I get situations that are far more obnoxious than a cell phone going on, lol, so maybe my skin is a little thicker. I find it far more annoying when some dude is at the bar, yelling so everyone can hear him and his bs , than someone having a quiet convo on their phone in the corner. :)

      Dec 4, 2008 at 4:43 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #38.5   Canthz_B bang

      Maybe you’re younger than me and I’m old-fashioned, I admit.
      I’m of the opinion that if you want to go out to eat, you shouldn’t be having phone conversations with people who are not there. If you want to talk on the phone stay home.
      Also why I don’t have call forwarding. If I’m not home, leave a message. I’m out. I’m busy. I’m doing something else, with someone else.
      Some things are private and should be done in the privacy of one’s home…not in public places.
      But that’s just my old-fashioned opinion.

      Dec 4, 2008 at 5:44 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #39   Michael

    I read that researchers think that hearing cell phone conversations are annoying because of the way the brain reacts to hearing just one side of a conversation. As much as you’d like to tune out the conversation, your brain can’t help trying to fill in gaps, so you just want them to shut up (even if they’re talking at normal levels). This is especially true in a confined space, like a train (here in Chicago, there’s always one oblivious Chatty Cathy or Chatty Ken on the El trains).

    I bet that many people don’t experience hearing cell phone calls as an annoyance, which is why they’re oblivious to the dirty looks they’re getting on the train, in the restaurant, etc.

    Dec 4, 2008 at 1:51 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #39.1   Canthz_B bang

      Researcher: Why do people look at me like they want me dead when I’m on my cell?

      Colleague: Let’s apply for a grant and study the matter.

      Researcher (six months later): It seems from these data that people just don’t give a shit about my personal business and would rather not be forced to hear it in public. Astounding!

      Dec 4, 2008 at 1:59 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
    • #39.2   Ti O

      I have cell phone tourettes and usually shout out random replies to the half of conversations I am forced to overhear.

      “Your ass isn’t fat but your thighs are!”

      Dec 4, 2008 at 2:05 pm   rating: 15  small thumbs up

       
    • #39.3   eeyore

      haha, so basically it’s annoying to some bc they can’t be as nosy as they’d like to be. classic.

      Dec 4, 2008 at 3:15 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #39.4   bibberly

      Yes Eeyore!! That’s what I’ve thought all along! I fail to understand why I can talk with my mom in person in a public place and that’s okay, but if I talk to her on the phone (in a normal voice… I have not noticed people talking louder on phones than they normally do unless they can’t get a signal or something, in which case they usually move to a different place) people feel they can complain or glare at me. The only explanation is that they can’t eavesdrop on my entire conversation. I was in a bookstore with my mom, for instance, and there was a sign that said, “No cell phones – private conversations should not be held in public places.” Does that mean we can’t chat together? In a store?! It’s not a library, or a church, or the theater, so why can’t we talk? But when we talk face-to-face, you can hear both sides of our conversation, so that makes it okay.
      For the record, I hear people discussing disgusting things like their operations and such face-to-face in public places all the time, often in restaurants. That is offensive. Using my phone to ask my boyfriend which brand of cereal he wants is not. Get over it.

      Dec 4, 2008 at 9:15 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #39.5   teena

      OMG u and ur bf r so close! U dont know what cereal he eats but ur buying it and he cant even bother to go shopping with u

      where u talk to ur mom is the least of ur worries

      Dec 5, 2008 at 12:09 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #39.6   Goldie

      True, true, this does not sound like a bf-gf relationship at all. This sounds more like husband/wife of 20 years!

      Dec 5, 2008 at 1:05 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #40   Emily

    What if I need further explanation and am using my cellphone to go to Websters.com?

    Dec 4, 2008 at 4:18 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #41   Alice

    Huh… I would rather have someone on their cell phone being vexing and insolent than having them pulling out a gun and robbing my liquor store. Oh hell, no one could call for help then. Now wouldn’t that vexing.

    Dec 4, 2008 at 7:17 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #42   Sue Do Nim

    I couldn’t find Further Information in the dictionary. Vexing and insolent Miriam Webster!

    Dec 4, 2008 at 7:43 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #43   secondsout bang

    Vexing and insolent… Must be related somehow to trifling and disgusting. You didn’t wipe between your legs with Lisa’s cell phone, did you?

    Dec 4, 2008 at 8:45 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #44   Cady

    I like the “refer to Webster’s” part

    Dec 4, 2008 at 10:16 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #45   ryan0mega

    vexing. what is that? is that like sexing?

    Dec 4, 2008 at 10:37 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #45.1   Goldie

      better!

      Dec 6, 2008 at 3:46 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #46   Dawn Goldberg

    Gotta love the use of “vexing” though.

    Dec 5, 2008 at 2:27 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #47   bangin'drums

    The guy had a traumatic experience. As a child his father would rape him with a cellphone. everytime he hears a vibrating phone he has horrible flashbacks and thugs steal his liquore.

    Dec 5, 2008 at 4:05 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #47.1   Canthz_B bang

      But on the positive side, now he can send text messages with his colon!

      Dec 5, 2008 at 4:20 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #47.2   Ti O bang

      ah one ringy dingy ah two ringy dingy *snort snort*

      I am sorry sir the party you wish to reach is all backed up.

      Dec 5, 2008 at 5:30 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #48   Canthz_B bang

    Why all of the signs?
    Because it’s bad for business when someone calls their sponsor for support from inside a liquor store.

    Dec 5, 2008 at 9:37 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #49   Ryan

    My girlfriend told the liquor store guy about this page and he was very pleased. Apparently he has gotten free publicity from a news story that talked about his old sign which said, “We attend your spirtual needs.”

    Dec 6, 2008 at 1:02 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #50   heatherinparadise

    That’s my old neighborhood liquor store/seedy bar combo! I miss that guy, he was also the KING of publicly displaying all the bounced checks he’d receive from people. He had a pretty decent wine selection, though.

    Dec 6, 2008 at 9:19 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #51   first5times

    Hah! This is from Pelly’s. <3 My friends and I love this sign.

    Jan 23, 2009 at 12:22 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #52   Deana

    That’s Pelly’s. The owner towed my car. I never went there again. Fucker.

    Jul 15, 2009 at 5:18 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #53   phydo bang

    no, Pelly’s is in Roscoe Village, near Lincoln/Addison, this one’s at Western/Leland

    Dec 27, 2009 at 6:57 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #54   Mary Kate

    I can’t believe this person (who hasn’t mastered sentences or punctuation) is so patronising. He refers people to a dictionary because they won’t know the words vexing and insolent. He’s so superior.

    Jun 8, 2010 at 6:01 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     

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