The icing on top here, says our submitter, is the second comment — the one from Billy. Why? Because, well, that’s the guy Slade just broke up with.
Adds our submitter: “Awkward pretty much sums it up.”
related: please pick up your dirty laundry asap
Reason #784 why you should never list your relationship status in your Facebook profile
December 4th, 2008 · 104 comments
FILED UNDER: breakup · ex drama · facebook · oh no you didn't
104 responses so far ↓
#1
Heroin
I’m consistently amazed at the willingness of others to lay it all out on Facebook.
Dec 4, 2008 at 11:24 pm rating: +35
#2
Canthz_B
Billy’s just lonely right now. Pets help. I’ll call Big Gay Al.
Dec 4, 2008 at 11:46 pm rating: +8
#3
Quite Contrary
Awkward? You think?
Dec 5, 2008 at 12:12 am rating: +1
#4
fantasy
Facebook Friday again, the last time we did this I went and checked it out for myself.
I know everyone told me not to. But I had to do it anyway, now everyone in the family is mad at me!
Once you get in there you just can’t delete your account! I have been contacted by people I don’t even know!
Shhheeesh, I have never been so sorry, once you put it up there honey there is no way of taking it back.
I was even contacted by my husbands cousin, he just lives up the road a ways,on facebook it says he makes $250,000 a year. But we all know he is on disability ’cause he has the drinkin’ problem.
In my book I wouldn’t even show my face in there if I were him.
I mean really, his Father ran away with my Mother and hell I don’t even know if he is my cousin or my brother!
But yeah, he has 12,592 friends, so hell, I guess he’s cool with it.
Dec 5, 2008 at 12:15 am rating: +35
#5
Crash
Dec 5, 2008 at 12:19 am rating: +1
#6
aaa
The guy’s name is Slade? Sounds like Billy dodged a bullet, there.
Dec 5, 2008 at 12:32 am rating: +25
#7
Canthz_B
When your ex’s facebook relationship status changes to single, it’s time to turn out the lights…the party’s over.
Dec 5, 2008 at 12:42 am rating: +9
#8
Canthz_B
Damn, Billy. William’s making a move on Slade and your side of the bed isn’t even cold yet!
Are you gonna take that shit? Well? ARE YOU?!?!
Dec 5, 2008 at 12:52 am rating: +29
#9
zenvelo
Billy/William, William/Billy, I hate it when the different personalities fight in public. Maybe that’s why Slade dumped me.
“He’s my daddy/ he’s my brother, he’s my daddy and my brother…”
Dec 5, 2008 at 1:25 am rating: +16
#10
HairySwede
I think william is suggesting that slade have more fun. more fun with william. in bed. billy disagrees.
Dec 5, 2008 at 1:27 am rating: +6
#11
globalnole
I had an ex who deleted her facebook account because she didn’t want it to say ‘globalnole’ and ‘abc ‘ have ended their relationship’…..
Dec 5, 2008 at 2:04 am rating: +1
#12
adeline
what can I say, I’m a biotch so I like to shove it in my ex’s face that I’ve got someone new, but since I move around a lot (4 countries in the last 3 years) facebook is the only way I can do that. If I lived closer I would go by their offices. Yes the breakup is then awkward…I never learn
Dec 5, 2008 at 2:14 am rating: +7
#13
Tee
i’ve had a fake name on facebook for years, only use it to keep in touch with a couple friends who live thousands of miles away now. still don’t find it all that interesting. i like twitter a lot more, but i’m sure it’s just a matter of time before it starts to suck too, if it isn’t already. blah blah blah, sorry forgot to include anything funny in this, panomaly i guess…
Dec 5, 2008 at 3:26 am rating: +1
#14
Anne Marie
I thought the relationship updates were bad, being able to comment is worse.
Dec 5, 2008 at 3:58 am rating: +11
#15
Wade
William? Billy? Mac?
Where’s Buddy?
All Slade wants to do is have some fun.
Dec 5, 2008 at 6:13 am rating: +26
#16
Goldie
I’ve got nothing to contribute except another kid story. My son’s friend had an on/off GF when they were younger (like, 10 or 11). They kept breaking up and getting back together. The last time they broke up, though, the guy hacked into his ex’s MySpace account and changed her profile to “male, 18yo, like boys, looking for a serious relationship”. They never got back together again. See, Billy? That’s the way to do it. “I disagree”, pshaw!
Dec 5, 2008 at 9:32 am rating: +3
#17
claw71
Billy doesn’t disagree with William, he disagrees with Slade. In his mind Slade is not single. Slade will never be single. “I’m going to love you forever,” he often told Slade. And he meant it. Now most people would say if Billy was that obsessive there wouldn’t have been a 36 minute lapse between Slade’s status change and Billy’s response but it probably took Billy 20 minutes to get back to his PC after seeing Slade make the status change through his binoculars.
Of course you know William is dead. Billy saw William’s comment as an invitation for “no strings attached” sex and took action. William was clearly waiting in the wings hoping to see Slade become single. That’s why Billy didn’t submit any more messages during the course of this exchange. He was busy disposing of Williams dismembered body and if Slade doesn’t wise up really soon, William won’t be alone much longer.
Dec 5, 2008 at 9:45 am rating: +38
#18
Mishee
Damn, Facebook Friday again.
I hate Facebook Friday almost as much as when RunBarbara and claw71 decide to run a train on me, and then they just end up doing each other while I watch from the bed, still tied up and gagged.
And the smell… oh lord.. the smell…
*shudder*
Dec 5, 2008 at 10:01 am rating: +9
#19
Dare
Palin’s son is in the news for HIS facebook profile now?!?
Dec 5, 2008 at 10:01 am rating: +1
#20
JoelWhy
Translation: Bill is not much fun to be around.
Dec 5, 2008 at 12:13 pm rating: 0
#21
The Commish
Facebook moves like this are vexing and insolent.
Dec 5, 2008 at 12:54 pm rating: +11
#22
Andy
To quote one Mr. Jimi Hendrix:
’scuse me, while I kiss this guy…
bow wow wow bow wow wow woooooooow
Dec 5, 2008 at 2:30 pm rating: +1
#23
Andy
What the hell is Slade thinking?! That’s ass-getting suicide right there.
I know I’m not the only one that gets hit on 10x as much when I’m in a relationship and unable to act on the advances than when I’m single.
If you’re going to announce to the world that you’re single, you might as well just kick yourself in the balls while you’re at it.
Dec 5, 2008 at 2:40 pm rating: +5
#24
Juliet
I love Facebook Fridays! It amazes me how people just put it all out there (yes I read the first comment, I’m just sayin’.) More more more!
Dec 6, 2008 at 2:30 pm rating: +1
#25
Canthz_B
♫ When you’re,
With the Facebooks…
You’ll have a Gay old time!♫
Dec 6, 2008 at 5:00 pm rating: +2
#26
politacallyincorrect
Homosexuality is wrong.
Not morally, per se, biologically.
We all have a need to procreate. This is deeply embedded within us. We express it by sexual attraction to others of the same species.
Heterosexuals are attracted to the opposite sex. This affords the means of moving their genes from generation to generation thereby perpetuating the species, in essence, continuing life. That is what life does…continue to perpetuate itself.
Homosexuals have the same need to move their genes on to another by means of sexual reproduction. In other words, they want to have sex too.
The problem is that they are attracted to others of the same physical sex…anathema to the natural order of procreation through sexual means which requires a male/female attraction, and vice verse.
Morality aside, homosexuality is a deviation from the norm required by nature.
There is nothing “homophobic” or “intolerant” about saying that homosexuals are deviants…not “morally” deviant…they deviate from the natural order of things, in fact, from the natural NECESSITY of things, clinically speaking.
Dec 6, 2008 at 5:34 pm rating: +3
#27
politicallyincorrect
#26.3, yes it happens in nature;
“The motivations for and implications of these behaviors have yet to be fully understood…”
What I said is that it is wrong, an evolutionary dead end.
Regardless of whether it happens in nature, it is not naturally advantageous to species which perpetuate themselves through sexual reproduction.
Dec 6, 2008 at 8:20 pm rating: +3
#28
Heroin
Huh. I was not operating under the assumption that ‘Slade’ was male or female. It seemed a fairly neutral name to me.
Thus I was all, “what the hell?” about the ‘homosexuality is wrong’ lecturing.
Now I’ve figured out that Slade could, in fact, have a gender and I’m still all, “what the hell?” about the ‘homosexuality is wrong’ lecturing.
Dec 6, 2008 at 11:58 pm rating: +15
#29
Colette
Ok, that was hilarious. I’m totally posting that on my Facebook.
Dec 7, 2008 at 10:41 am rating: 0
#30
Mrs Duggar
I agree that it is my moral responsibility to keep procreating until such time as my uterus falls out. 18 kids is nothing. We’re hoping for at least 30.
In the Bible God told us to go forth and multiply.
Even though that passage was written at a time in history when the world population was roughly the current population of the state of New Jersey, and the population has gotten a wee bit bigger since then, and human overpopulation has contributed to the deaths of countless other species, I choose to take that Bible passage literally because I am devoid of brain cells.
Mrs Duggar
PS I also choose to overlook my husbands Playgirl collection.
Dec 8, 2008 at 9:51 am rating: +6
#31
alicevangeline
I’m confused. Does Billy disagree about Slade being single, or about the other comment that it’s fun to be single?
Dec 8, 2008 at 10:41 am rating: 0
#32
The Sneak
Ouch.
Well, it’s officially facebook official.
Dec 8, 2008 at 5:47 pm rating: 0
#33 snaps for schadenfreude!
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Mar 16, 2009 at 4:59 pm rating: 0
#34 perfect for each other
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May 14, 2009 at 9:00 am rating: 0
#35 when targeted advertising goes terribly, horribly wrong
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Jun 7, 2009 at 2:30 pm rating: 0
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