The rules for strip bingo

December 8th, 2008 · 61 comments

Spotted in the basement of a New Jersey church where people play bingo all the time. Adds submitter Yamis: “I guess we know the demographics of the crowd.”

IF YOUR [sic] COLD WEAR A COAT. IF YOUR [sic] HOT TAKE IT OFF. IT YOU GET HOT FLASHES WEAR LESS. -THE GENERAL

related: More like hardly working

FILED UNDER: CAPS LOCK · New Jersey · old folks · spelling and grammar police · temperature · your/you're


61 responses so far ↓

  • #1   djr

    “your”

    Dec 8, 2008 at 2:17 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #1.1   snee

      if your an apostrophe, you arent welcome here.

      Dec 8, 2008 at 9:33 pm   rating: 42  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.2   keaven

      I can’t even find humor in this because of the grammar. It makes my eyes bleed.

      Dec 15, 2008 at 9:51 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.3   rebarcka

      If you’re illiterate, go to school, idiot.
      What can we expect from someone who makes up rules for strip poker?

      Dec 16, 2008 at 12:46 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #2   Mark bang

    Yeah! Take it off! Wear less! Yeah!

    …oh wait, these are grannies. I rescind my comment.

    Dec 8, 2008 at 2:20 pm   rating: 17  small thumbs up

    • #2.1   Goldie

      So? Old guys are people too! They’re entitled to some fun. Besides, the sign says to only take it all off if you’re hot – makes sense to me!

      Dec 8, 2008 at 2:39 pm   rating: 16  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.2   secondsout bang

      What, Mark, you don’t like the old lady boobs that hang down around the knees?

      Dec 8, 2008 at 3:15 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.3   Ti O bang

      OH yeah 36dd extra long! Can ya swing them contra-rotating Eunice?
      Bow chaka wow wow.

      Dec 8, 2008 at 4:24 pm   rating: 10  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.4   RunBarbara bang

      i dont mind knee-shooters. that way, i can wrap up in them when im taking care of the downstairs business.

      Dec 8, 2008 at 4:35 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.5   MansonNixon bang

      Gah, can’t even figure out how to add an avatar, let alone teh Gigglebrax….

      Dec 9, 2008 at 12:34 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.6   matt bang

      not a pretty sight #2.2 – trust me on that one – I’ve seen enough swinging old woman (and man) pendulums to last me several lifetimes (and yes, I have seen some at groin level..)

      Dec 9, 2008 at 2:47 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #3   Canthz_B bang

    Menopausal women rule!!

    Dec 8, 2008 at 2:23 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

     
  • #4   Maude

    Ladies over 60: The General commands you to show some skin.

    Dec 8, 2008 at 2:25 pm   rating: 24  small thumbs up

    • #4.1   MansonNixon bang

      Butt Ass Naked on the East Coast- In Compliance To Everything Except The Age Prerequisite.

      Sorry, Jefe!

      Mi dispiace potrebbe non funzionare più difficile. Almeno Sono nudo, che è qualcosa, giusto?

      Dec 9, 2008 at 12:51 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #5   Nix

    But for the love of Christ, don’t expose any cleavage, or I might have to learn the proper use of the word “your” as opposed to “you’re”.

    Dec 8, 2008 at 2:26 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

    • #5.1   snee bang

      pretend i gigglebraxed 1.1 here. argh.

      Dec 8, 2008 at 10:00 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #6   Emma

    OMFG that’s from my church! We have a lot annoying folks (not just grannies) who are pains in the ass.

    Dec 8, 2008 at 2:32 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

    • #6.1   djr

      You should passive-aggressively fix the grammar in that message.

      Dec 8, 2008 at 2:37 pm   rating: 17  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.2   Emma

      There are too many people who are FOB (or plane in this case) who would be confused by the apostrophe.

      Dec 8, 2008 at 2:46 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.3   Canthz_B bang

      They say OMFG at your church?
      No wonder they play Bingo there all the time. :-)

      Dec 8, 2008 at 5:07 pm   rating: 14  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #7   georgie

    How many times do I gotta go over this?

    your – not correct
    you’re – correct

    Practice people, practice.

    Dec 8, 2008 at 2:36 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #7.1   claw71 bang

      Thanks for you’re input Georgie.

      Dec 8, 2008 at 2:41 pm   rating: 38  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.2   Canthz_B bang

      Your the greatest, Georgie!
      But some of us will never learn.

      Dec 8, 2008 at 2:57 pm   rating: 13  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.3   tinkerbell2

      Right, and ‘do I gotta’ is perfect grammar..

      Dec 10, 2008 at 8:07 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.4   EY

      What is practice???
      Isn’t that what doctors do???
      And SO very few know English, anymore,,,
      Pity,,, Pity~!

      Dec 11, 2008 at 1:45 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #8   claw71 bang

    Not only did “Stormin” Norman Schwartzkopf fare poorly in his English and compositions courses, he never really paid attention to the sensitivity training mandated by the Army shortly after he assumed his first command.

    Dec 8, 2008 at 2:36 pm   rating: 25  small thumbs up

     
  • #9   T.U.M.

    If your hat flashes, you want the coal mine down the road.

    Dec 8, 2008 at 2:46 pm   rating: 32  small thumbs up

     
  • #10   MW

    I have no problem with bingo cleavage. It gives you an advantage over the men who can see.

    Dec 8, 2008 at 2:50 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

     
  • #11   MoxieHart

    There’s no question about it, if these memaws and pepaws are playing bingo then you know they’re hot. Sexy bitches.
    Team Sofia Petrillo.

    Dec 8, 2008 at 2:59 pm   rating: 10  small thumbs up

     
  • #12   Canthz_B bang

    If the General fondles you, shout BINGO!!

    Dec 8, 2008 at 3:02 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

     
  • #13   Canthz_B bang

    Goldilocks and the Change of Life, now showing at a theater near you.

    Dec 8, 2008 at 3:06 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #13.1   Lorelie

      I think that was the title of a porn tape I once found under my dad’s bed.

      Years of therapy, I’m telling ya.

      Dec 9, 2008 at 8:10 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #14   mere bang

    the general. not only does he sell car insurance, but he works the bingo hall.
    (please tell me you have those ‘call 1-800 general NOW!’ commericals where the collective ‘you’ live?)

    Dec 8, 2008 at 3:46 pm   rating: 10  small thumbs up

    • #14.1   Ti O bang

      Yes I have that headless helmeted bastards commercials where I live. who are these stupid dogheads they have acting in them?

      Dec 8, 2008 at 5:04 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #14.2   Jahzzie

      they had those in Florida, but not in NJ. Christ, Geico only got into NJ a few years ago because there were so many restrictions.

      Dec 8, 2008 at 5:53 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #14.3   aaa

      Well, the General does have a head, it’s just that most of it is helmet and mustache.

      But yeah, we get those commercials in Kentucky and Ohio. :/

      Dec 8, 2008 at 9:48 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #15   HorribleLicensePlates

    People are so crazy about thermostats sometimes!! I can relate!

    Dec 8, 2008 at 3:50 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #16   yousuckatcraigslist bang

    I’m a big fan of strip bingo. You should see what happens when you call O-69.

    Dec 8, 2008 at 4:24 pm   rating: 12  small thumbs up

     
  • #17   Sheepish bang

    The game “General Says” is a lot like “Simon Says” but less fun.

    Dec 8, 2008 at 4:54 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #17.1   Canthz_B bang

      Wouldn’t that depend upon the General’s rules of engagement?

      Dec 8, 2008 at 5:03 pm   rating: 12  small thumbs up

       
    • #17.2   Lorelie

      And angles of attack?

      Dec 9, 2008 at 8:11 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #17.3   Canthz_B bang

      I think the General prefers to hold the high ground.

      Dec 9, 2008 at 11:56 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #18   The Sneak

    Stripping at church?

    Dec 8, 2008 at 5:25 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #19   Geek Goddess

    “If ‘your’ happy (and you know it) clap your hands”

    Dec 8, 2008 at 5:27 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #19.1   Woman on the Verge bang

      C’mon, Geek… “If your happy and you know it clap you’re hands”!

      Dec 9, 2008 at 7:35 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #19.2   se

      “if ya wanna bare you’re bums, flap your gums”

      Dec 9, 2008 at 9:52 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #19.3   Mrs Duggar

      If you’re happy and you know it’s clap – you’re Hans?

      Dec 9, 2008 at 11:02 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #19.4   Geek Goddess

      Sorry, WotV, I get confused with all this creative spelling. Your write, me not.

      Dec 9, 2008 at 3:08 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #20   aaa

    My cold? My hot? What about my cold and my hot?

    Dec 8, 2008 at 9:33 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #20.1   misbehavis

      My cold refuses to wear a coat and my hot will not take it off.

      Dec 9, 2008 at 10:57 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #21   Wade bang

    If I get hot, I’m buying more bingo cards.

    Dec 8, 2008 at 9:52 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #22   Canthz_B bang

    If I get hot I’m taking off the General’s coat…don’t ask, don’t tell! :twisted:

    Dec 8, 2008 at 9:56 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

     
  • #23   Agent Inspired

    …I wonder what Chris and Linda would think of this.

    Dec 9, 2008 at 12:42 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

    • #23.1   The Commish

      Chris and Linda will likely have a problem, but Mera and MW will definitely go apeshit.

      Dec 9, 2008 at 3:28 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #24   Nacey

    Okay, so my cold is wearing the coat, my hot took it off, now what? Who am I supposed to be hot flashing?

    Dec 9, 2008 at 6:07 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #25   Woman on the Verge bang

    I think this is a song. Wait, let me just think… Oh, yeah, I know the chorus!

    Then you do the hokey pokey and you turn you’reself around…

    Dec 9, 2008 at 7:37 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

     
  • #26   Andy

    This general guy gives me the chills. Wait a second! What do I do if I get the chills!? *GASP*

    Dec 9, 2008 at 9:44 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #27   Olson

    It looks like someone has been throwing coffee at or sneezing on the General’s sign. I wonder how he feels about that…(maybe he made a sign about it)

    Dec 9, 2008 at 11:55 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #28   Raymond

    Uh yea, thanks buddy. Could I get some car insurance now?

    Dec 10, 2008 at 2:27 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #29   rebecca

    If you’re illiterate, go to school, idiot.

    Dec 16, 2008 at 12:43 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #30   scott w

    Your what is too cold or too hot?

    Dec 22, 2008 at 7:58 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     

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